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When Worlds Collide - Joltin Joe says has become quite a popular feature of our little web site! On a completely unrelated topic, we’ve been getting a lot of hits from the severe head trauma ward of Death-side, Dr. Death’s hospital for the mentally retarded. - In a discussion about the ages of our wrestlers with Dr. Andrew Weil, we came to the conclusion that The Tower is no spring chicken, and that Josepi may be “Pasta” his prime! HA! - With all the excitement over Basementmania, I think some people may have forgotten that Stone Cold Lynch is scarier than a nude-sunbathing Rosie O’Donnell. What? He is! - Vote Jason “the Argonaut” Kepner for Presid... Nah, too scummy. Um, Canadian Prim.... Nah, who cares about Canada? Ummm... Kepner for Pope! - Smash Adams, the new commisioner? Brambly..... - Dr. Death didn’t always want to be a pro wrestler/dentist. From what I have uncovered, I found that in his younger days he was quite the gifted athlete. In fact when I asked him, he said he almost played for a pro team called the “Mets, Mets, Mets, Mets, Mets, Mets, Mets...” whoever they are. - Led Lerner... Sounds like a mafia educational implement (i.e. lead pipe). “‘Ey Joey, you shouldn’ta oughtta done that! Now I’ma have ta teach ya a lesson wit my lead learner! *pummeling noises*” ... please don’t kill me Josepi... - The sight of Mike Mediocre, headless in the electric chair will haunt me forever! Forever or a couple of minutes, whichever comes first. - Congrats go out to UBWF “Are You A Pussy?” contestants Smash Adams and Consta Superfan. Smash of course is our new commish, and Consta Superfan apparently wishes to come back and run the UBWF deli! When interviewed he said he would “Come back and serve up some turkeys!” Mmmmmmm, turkeys.... - Seeing the Suicide Machine’s “New Breed”, Random X has decided to start a group of his own from gifted youngsters that he finds and recruits. These “Random X-men” should start showing up any day now. - Jeremy Sheeler ladies and gentlemen! Yaaay! - Where has the Tidy Bowl been? The only real Tidy Bowl participation we’ve seen is from the Pasty Faced Tub O’ Goo Joekozuna, and he was almost killed, and Mike Mediocre who WAS killed! Kudos to these brave souls, no one ever said it was easy breaking through the glass toilet seat. - The UBWF has recently discovered that Marshall McCloud may have a heretofore unknown younger sibling! Yes, a Mr. Fox McCloud also carries a gun, is very hairy and has a tail, just like the Marshall!! We’ll work to reunite these two. - The Man They Call Joe is very big in Japan, bigger than Godzilla even. No, really, the suit is like 5' 2" tops! - The poor suicide machine just has no love life. Every time a woman turns him on, she dies... - Carnage has had some difficulties showing up lately, something to do with a lawsuit with Marvel Comics... Gee, hope they don’t see my “Random X-men” line... - You know, all these years, and I STILL don’t get paid enough for this! - *There was a joke here, but it was stolen by Pantero* - Lord Rahl, Stone Cold Lynch, Grymmlock, and Blackout are all watching the horses... - We don’t know why the UBWF ring was struck by lightning, but we DID just put Jesus on trial. I think we’re all very sorry and have only to say to God: “Ha, you missed!” - Wow, I didn’t know that lighting could strike in a basement... And finally... - Congrats on the title Geek, sure took you long enough!!! :) |
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