Spartanburg is hot as hell when Ichy arrives. The heat from the day escapes from the road in rippling waves as the Monster cuts through them. As he cruises up highway 221, Ichabod thinks back to the promo he had watched outside the electronics store in Colombia. It had featured B-Pac, Wafer, and a very ghetto James Brown. Apparantly they had been having some sort of pool party, and James brown had been busy chasing not only the girls, but also the two wrestlers, around the house with speedos.
Ichabod's eyes suddenly go wide as he remembers something. He pulls over at the closest television shop he can find and rushes inside. There, of course, some of the televisions are tuned to WOW 24/7 Television, where they are currently showing PRL, Promo Request Live. Ichabod walks over to the counter and rings the bell. Shortly, a middle aged man walks out from the back.
Hello, my name is Kerpal, as can be seen on nametag. How may I be of service?
May I use your phone?
Of course, pray to not be too long.
Ichabod reaches for the phone that Kerpal slides to him and dials the number for PRL.
Hello, you're on Promo Request Live, what'll it be?
Yeah, I'm from Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, and I'd like to see the last promo posted by Wafer, the one with James "Da Homie" Brown.
You got it.
Within moments, the promo plays on the screens of the television shop. Kerpal and Ichy watch as the nonsense ensues in Brown's house. Ichabod looks intently as the promo comes to a close.
B-PacHaha! You were scared as shit, dude. James Brown was gonna beat your ass!
WaferWhat? You bastard, you were running faster than me!
B-PacThat's because I'm more atheltic than you are.
WaferHey fuck you alright!
B-Pac and Wafer begin laughing again as the girls are seen whipser something to one another. Just then, the camera cuts to an angle behind the girls and show their backs... as they drop their tops and proceed into B-Pac's house... Wafer and B-Pac's jaws drop as the scene cuts out.
Ichabod smiles. He knew it. Wafer was slipping. Wafer was slipping badly. He didn't even say, "I am awesome," after B-Pac punked him out.
Well, Wafer, looks like your game isn't up as usual. You were running from James Brown of all people, and B-Pac outran you. And you forgot to say your favorite little adage. What has gotten into you lately? I know it isn't a mind game, because you don't play that crap, its not your style. You've got exactly five days to shape your ass up, or you'll be lying out on the floor cold when Triple X steps out to knock B-Pacs teeth down his throat over your head.
Ichabod turns to leave the shop when a little pomeranian puppy steps out form behind the counter. Kerpal smiles down at him and then at Ichabod.
Is good dog no?
Ichabod can't resist. He kicks the dog so hard that its yelp is about three yards behind him when he smacks right into an RCA. Kerpal looks on stunned.
Y-you kicked my dog!
Damn right.
The door to Steve Parke's room opens slightly as Ichabod pokes his head in. He looks to where Steve is sitting, looking pretty well on his way to recovery. He looks to the door and smiles. Ichabod takes it as a welcome and steps in, casting his eyes down.
Hey, Ichy, keep your fucking head up, I've told you that. Look at me.
Steve... I-uh.. I...
Ichy, its ok. I knew this was going to happen before it even happened.
What?!
When I walked into my office that last day, his damned jar was on my desk... I tried to warn you, but he got you first... Thats when I made some phone calls.
To whom?
Doesn't matter. Look, you need to get this off your mind and get your mind on that damn match. I'll be a son of a bitch if you aren't going to be the first WOW Undisputed Champion.
You've been watching?
Of course. Have a seat, lets talk.
Ichabod pulls up a pleather chair and leans foward, listening to Steve intently.
If I were you, I wouldn't worry about Smokey, Wafer, and B-Pac. Neither of them have their heads on straight in this match, and its not going to be hard for you guys to take them out in less than the expected time. Round one is going to be a joke, I'll go ahead and tell you that. Smokey has this cockier-than-thou attitude nowadays, and its based on nothing at all. Seriously, does anyone buy half the bullshit from his little video collage? B-Pac is the only human I've ever seen that can have his head up three people's asses at once... Wafer's, Smokey's, and his own of course.
There is something else too, did you hear what he said to Wafer?
B-PacYou know you dont have to worry about me crossing you and Smoke Dawg, right?
Now thats the second time I've heard that out of him... whats the deal?
He's so insecure about himself and the people around him that he wants to make sure Wafer and Smokey trust him, because he foolishly believes that if they trust him completely, he can do the same for them. B-Pac knows down inside that Smoke Dawg is in a stable with one man, and that's Smoke Dawg. He is searching for validation. He thinks maybe if he says that enough, one of them will say, "Yeah man, and we won't double cross you either, trust us."
So if I have no worries from the ORS, I've this match in the bag right?
Well there is one thing you need to worry about...
The Elite?
You know it. Triple and Cheapy are in it for the long haul, and they aren't going to let you take that title from under their noses.
But I trust X, I don't know why, but I do.
Hell, he has ten times the reliability of Smoke Dawg, both in his actions and in his words. I'm not saying he and Shots are going to double cross you, I'm just saying you need to worry about how you are going to take them out and get your belt down.
The same way I always do, Steve, I'm going to wrestle, fight, kick, scream, punch, kick, and Thump my way up that ladder. The fair match is the most tried and true method of achieving greatness, and I intend to exploit it to its fullest extent. Triple and Shots will have much more to think about this week than how much more fools the ORS can become. Rest assured that whatever they are doing, they are preparing. This may be my toughest challenge to date, but only because Cheapy and X are involved. But I will rise to the occasion, after we put those fuckin' choads on ice.
Good for you Ichy... Oh by the way... it seems that I'm still your messenger boy. Here.
Steve hands Ichabod an envelope. Inside is a note and a plane ticket. Its from Cheapy, asking Ichy and X to meet him somewhere. Ichabod looks at the ticket... Canada.
Whats it about, Ichy?
Looks like I'm going to Canada.
Steve nods, and Ichabod looks at him, his eyes still full of regret. He closes them and shakes his head.
Hey, Ichy, put it out of your mind ok? I'm fine, and I know who did this. I don't hold you accountable at all... and don't worry about the facility, OK? Soon as I get out of here, I'm going to restation to the one in Greer. You can meet me there the first chance you get, alright?
Ok, man.
Ichabod turns to take his leave, but Steve speaks up...
Besides, I'll get you back... in training.
Ichabod turns, smiling, to see Steve with a big grin across his face. Ichabod immediately walks over and hugs his trainer as Steve looks surprised. He pats Ichabod on the shoulder as Ichabod dares the ORS in his mind to make a gay comment about this.
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The Spartanburg Regional Medical Center looms over the street as Ichabod marches across the crosswalk from the parking garage. He stares up at the window of the room he already knows he's in. Ichy takes a deep breath, and after a moment of hesitation goes in.
