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9.03.02
The Evil Redneck

Ichabod enjoys waking to a hearty bowl of Rice Krispies loaded with about two cups of sugar, part of this way unbalanced diet. He sits down with a little milk dribbling off of his chin and picks up a remote. He flips on to his favorite channel: Cartoon Network. Sadly, however, the only thing on is the Flintstones, and while he has nothing against the Flintstones, Ichabod has seen every episode of that show at least twice. He decides to flip over to WoW to check out the competition. The first promo he sees is that of B-Pac in some coffee shop getting all pissed off and cussing at a cup of Irish Creme or something, as if the cup of Irish Creme, or anyone at all for that matter, has the patience to listen to him spouting.

B-Pac"Icha... uhhh... SAM, just what is it that gets you off about constantly being lame? Have you been too busy kissing Kris Starr's ass that you have forgotten that noone has enough time or will power to try and learn who or what you think you are nowadays? What exactly is supposed to be your problem anyway... did you somehow develop a rare strain of the ebola virus and it has eaten away the sensible part of your brain? Whatever it is... don't compare this match to any match that has taken place in the past... because this match has 5 times the stakes and 5 times the worth of any match that anyone has EVER been in before. Your days are numbered... along with Elite's. And as far as ORS seeing fit to disown me should I win the Undisputed Title... I trust that they won't. We have made an agreement... whoever wins, wins... but it's a given that it WILL BE someone from ORS. No question about that... you should be concerned about making sure that you don't look bad in the process of losing... and that you don't rub Elite the wrong way. I know for a fact that they're just waiting to screw you out of any hope of accomplishing anything. That is what they're about. You don't have to believe me... I don't expect you to... but just heed my words and don't ignore my warnings. You are the LAST person they'd want to see succeed."

Ichabod raises an eyebrow at what B-Pac has said. He gets a look of incredulity on his face and rolls his eyes. Between bites of his Sugar Krispies, he responds to the promo as if anyone could hear him.

B-Pac, you've been gone far too long to know a damn thing about me or what is going on, I'll hand you that. But dammit, since you've been back, you've been playing like this blind asshole, ignorant of everthing around him. Let me spell it out since you lack will and power. I am Ichabod, pure and true, the evil redneck, the guy who's going to put you and your buddies through hell to get that damn IC title to the team where it belongs, and that's team World, the team of Elite. No, I'm not a member of that "stable," but you couldn't comprise a better team under that attribute. Elite the stable is just a name, but other than that, I am elite. You invest far too much trust in your stable, the Rythmnizers or whatever, and far too much trust in Smoke Dawg, the man who has continuously made you take a knee to him everytime the two of you got together. The only time you ever had one up on him is when you were against him in King Karnage. Didn't that tell you something, you ignorant son of a bitch? Ya know what though? Screw it, you wanna play dancing monkey to Smokey you go ahead, its not going to matter. At least not in this match it won't, because second fiddle or not, you're not getting anywhere near the Undisputed Championship.

You talk a lot of shit for someone who was scared to face Triple X for that title without some backup. Why'd you pick him in the first place to join you in that stable if he's so horrible? Smokey would have us believe you turned your back on them because they didn't come to visit you in the hospital, but that was after the stable was formed. You obviously saw fit to assign him to the title of Elite. You see this is where your second mistake comes in, you finally decided to come back with the dog and the wafer backing you up, but you did it when Triple X had backup too, The Cheap One, another one of your choices for your great stable, and me. You are an endless walking mistake, B-Pac, and we're going to prove that thinking you can make it anywhere in this match or in this stable is your biggest mistake of all.

Ichabod gets up to put his sugar-coated bowl in the sink of the hotel room, then washes the three inches of sugar off his hands. As he washes out the bowl, he catches a few words from Wafer's promo.

WaferI remember Smokey telling me that. I give the man credit, hes good. He took me to the limit and back, but The Elite. They suck. What do they have now? Two guys that refer to themselves like another two set of WWE wrestlers I've heard out of before and a stupid dog.

Yeah man, what? You dont know what the hell a dog is? They got a little poodle know I bet to go along with their ass grabbing ways.....and Im gonna kick that damn bitch!

Ichabod again raises an eyebrow and walks to the doorway between the kitchen and the living room. He stares at the room not believing what Wafer has said. He sits down and cracks the top on a beer, lighting up a Newport. He stares at the Newport suddenly, wondering if he and Wafer had packs from the same cigarette plant. He hopes not, considering that something has got Wafer a little...

Messed up shit is that?? Kicking a dog? What? What the hell is he talking about. Smokey, I think you've got yourself a little problem; neither of your boys know what the hell is going on, much less what they are talking about. This may be a real bad negative on your part, because the entire Team World Title, Team Elite, if you will, knows exactly what they want, and exactly what is going on. We are, the three of us, well prepared to spend the first ten minutes of that match making a total embarassment out of the three of you. I mean damn, why am I even sitting here watching your promos? I should be studying up on old Triple X and Cheapshots wrestling footage so that I can be ready for that match, because you three aren't going to give me much of a challenge. What can you and your rag-tag crew of misfits hope to do at Ring Wars? Confuse us into losing? You're the only ones who are confused, and you'd better get your heads on straight so we can properly spin them around and knock them off next week.

Ichabod cautiously gets up and goes to the closet door where his keys are hanging, glancing back at the television lest Smokey should enter the coffee shop and add his bit of nonsense to the general bullshit the group was speaking. Nothing happens for a few minutes, and Ichy picks up the remote to flip off the television. But lo and behold, at the last minute Smoke Dawg walks in. Ichabod sits down to listen to what he has to say.

Smokey"I can just see it now. Little Triple X walking around in his dipers at age 10 saying 'X be damned, you sissies!' and from behind Little Triple X came Little Cheapshots following his butt buddy 'You're funny X, and smart too!'. Little Ichasam walks up talking some stupid smack about 'Im Ichabod, no Im SAM!' Then Little Smoke Dawg comes in, smacks the hell out of all of them because the only thing they talk is complete shit as Little Smoke Dawg says 'Shut the hell up, tired of hearing the same old shit'"

Ichabod can only bury his head in his hands. What have Cheapshots, X, and Ichy gotten themselves into? He cannot lift his head until his laughter subsides, and finally turns off the television, snatching up his keys and walking out the door.


Ichabod cruises along Beachfront Drive, allowing for the traffic from last ditch vacationers trying to gleen a few more days from Labor Day Weekend. A lot of people were reluctant to give up the heat of their summer for the impending fall, but Ichabod knows soon these streets will be almost empty. A lot of the cars are already on the way back to Interstate 33. He is backed up for almost twenty minutes, but finally hits a stretch of clear road near the airport and guns it. He listens to WOW 24/7 Radio for recaps as he cruises along.

He happens to pick up the voice of Cheapshots from a promo cut last night;

Cheapy"Hell Cheapshots will admit he is impressed by your guts. Turning your back on The Elite is bravest thing you have ever done in your worthless career. Congrats on finally growning a set of balls bitch! But what confuses The Cheap 1 the most is that you ran back to the very shadow you tried so hard to get away from. Everyone around here knows of your history with Smokey. Everyone also knows you was his hand puppet for longer than you want to remember. So why turn your back on The Elite just to run back to the shadow of Smoke Dawg? What did that ever get you? An IC title and a lot of ass whoopings? Big freakin deal! At least when you was in The Elite you had the titles of respect and honor tagged to ya. Two titles you will never have bein Smokey's monkey or should The Cheap 1 say Smokey's bitch? After all isn't that what the B in your name stands for Bitch Pac? I just hope you remember how Smoke Dawg likes his coffee. I would hate for him to get mad at ya your first day back on the job."

Sounds to me like he's got you pegged, B-Pac. See what I mean? We're all ready for your asses while you talk of kicking dogs, kissing some guys ass called Kris Starr, and baby versions of all of us running around.

Ichabod sits through a few more promos on the stereo as he reaches into his glove compartment cooler for another beer. He lights another Newport still thinking of Wafer's nonsense. Finally, Triple X's promo comes around. As he listens to the story of King X, he laughs.

I can already hear it, the three of you saying how I accused you of talking nonsense when Triple X is speaking this jibberish about Chuck Shakespear. The difference is that he finally got around to the point while the rest of the world is still trying to figure out what the hell you three are thinking... or smoking.

Triple X"And as for Ichabod, well it's good to see you've finally been cured of Jecht syndrome. As for your challenge? Hell.. X never backs down from a challenge. You wan't it fair, will do it fair, you want it honest, we'll do it honest. But don't get that big head any bigger, chump.. Just because the Cornerstone shows a little respect doesn't mean I like your hillbilly ass! You deserve a fair shot at this, just as much as Cheapshots, and I do.. so you've got the Cornerstone's word that this will go down the right way, and not the ORS way. But after it's all over, dont come cryin' to me cause you can't get my foot out of your ass, chump!"

Ichabod smiles as he hears these words. He slows his speed as he nears what he was looking for.

Good man, X, good man. I knew you'd accept this. And I know I can trust you and Cheapy on this one, namely because I've got insurance. Just don't make it an ORS deal where its all for one, one is Smoke Dawg. Sure, they claim to work together, but I'm beginning to believe that B-Pac and Wafer have gone completely blind to what Smoke Dawg is doing. There was a time with Smokey wouldn't join a stable because, in his own words, he wanted to do his thing on his own. And you and I both know that Smokey never changes. Smokey is the most static person in wrestling today, while people like you and I, we are dynamic. We can learn things like trust, respect, and gratitude.

Oh and not to worry, as long as this goes down fairly, like you gave me your word that it will, there will be no regrets no matter who wins, I'll know that I gave it my best, because that's exactly what I'm going to do, I'm going to take it to you and I'm going to take it to Cheapy, and I'm going to say to you, "This is why I didn't join ORS with my cousin. This is why I am Elite, even though I'll never put my name under that stable. This is why you picked me for Team World Title." No, you heard me right. I am elite, and you can say you'd never pick me for your stable, thats fine. No I'd much rather put my name on my undisputed title after Ring Wars, because after I take what is rightfully mine, I don't want any stable with harbored jealousy, even in its least amount, surrounding me. I don't want to have to say, ok the first up to face me after I pound Dick or Payne, is my stablemate Triple X or Cheapshots. Companies tend to rend stables apart in that way. No, I want to keep this rivalry up, even if we've taken it beyond the petty "I'm better than you" crap.

Ichabod finally reaches the destination on his schedule. As he steps out of the truck, he stares at the place with unbelievable surprise. The years of training come rushing back at him at once, and his knees buckle under him. He drops down to his hands and retches immediately. As soon as he can breathe again, he scoots away from the bile and leans back on one of the tires of his truck. He stares at what is left of the Myrtle Beach branch of the Steve Parke Training Facility. He is sickened by the site of it, knowing that it was fully his fault for trusting himself to be invincible to everything. SAM had really tried to take a toll and ruin his life, and had nearly succeeded. Memories seem to rise and drift toward Ichabod from the graveyard of his old stomping grounds. In the distance, the sea calmly billows against its shorely restraint. When he is able to stand, Ichabod walks through the ruins, casting his eyes about on different things that used to represent very large parts of his days. He can see the room where he used to sleep, the room where Anastasia had been a transient, the audio visual room, the offices, the many many training rooms. The field with its bright grass stands ready for someone to run the track or tackle the dummies.

Suddenly the illusion departs and all Ichabod can see again is ruin. Ashes, dusty, metal, brick, all strewn about like some leftover of a mill match. With tears nearly swelling up in his eyes, he suddenly realizes something. B-Pac had said this match was five times the worth and stakes of any other match, and even though Ichabod believe just having B-Pac in it subtracted some of the worth, he had just figured out how to make this match even more worth it.

Ok boys, lets see how much you really want this match to go down in history. I'm going to make a proposal, and wait for each one of you to accept it before I go through with it. That means that six men want it as equally along with the Undisputed Championship. On the day of the match, not two titles, but three will hang in the air above the rings. Alongside the World Title Belt will hang the Brutality belt. The man who can get up there and bring it down first will be the new champion. The rules of the match will be altered to accomodate such a title being decided, that is that Brutality Rules will be in effect. You don't even have to get the belt back to your ring. Touch the mat with it, and you are the Champion. What do you say? As long as we are each of us putting ourselves on the line, lets put it all on the line, everything we possibly can, save for our careers. I'll be waiting for your answers.

Ichabod returns to his truck and climbs back inside. He too, like the other cars, heads toward Interstate 33 for Spartanburg, where he has a few more loose ends to tie up.