Being prepared for so many things, when you come across something that you are unprepared for, it kind of throws you for a loop. Ichabod had not been prepared for what happened in Canada the day before, and he had finally just went to the hotel and grabbed his things, rode back to the airport, and said goodbye to Canada. Now he was in Los Angeles, the City of Angels... the city of hookers, gangbangers, drug dealers, burnout stars, teenage mothers, homosexuals, and a lot of bad movies being shot on every street corner. City of Angels indeed.
Ichabod stands in front of the massive Staples Center, glaring up at the giant sign and marquee. It won't be long now before he enters the ring against five men, only to take their Holy Grail, their Golden Fleece, away from them for good.
Ichabod! Ichabod? Can I get a word with you?
Ichabod, who almost never does interviews, turns to find WOW Reporter Jack Michealson standing with a crew ready. Ichabod is about to walk off, but changes his mind, and decides maybe just one time will not hurt.
What can I do for ya, Jack?
What are your thoughts going into this match?
My thoughts are that, unless you want to conduct this interview without asking me the same thing you ask everyone else, its over. You're talking to the near future WOW Undisputed Champion, choad.
Jack stops short for a minute, but finally continues.
Um, how about your reaction to Smoke Dawg, who says that you and your team have little communication, that you are generalizing your views of sinful people, and that you are playing a sympathy card?
As unimportant as what he says is, I feel like I have to straighten a few things out and re-explain them just to make sure he knows what the hell I'm saying. First of all, you should know that Ichabod has no permanent address, so where exactly was Cheapy going to send those tickets? Naturally, they'd go to the closest person to me, who was Steve in the hospital. I didn't get to him until that day, so thats when I got my ticket. Secondly, I never said that all lawyers are that way, no I said "a" lawyer. It was an example, one person. The point was for you to understand how easy it was to come up with sinful people in every venue. You are the one making generalizations. If I say Skid Marks sucks, I'm not talking about every wrestler, I'm talking about you. Sure many wrestlers suck, but not the same way as you. And I'm not playing any cards here, Skids. If I wanted to play, I'd remind you that the last time Cheapy and I crossed your path, we beat you so badly that you lost your mind and had to wear a mask to cover up all the bruises we left on your pretty face. Not only that, but if memory serves, there were three men against you that day too, Me, Cheapy, and the leader of WOW himself, Prez Darren. Holy Shit Stains, Smoke Dawg! This time its me, Cheapy, and the leader of WOW himself... at least as the world champion, Triple X. Damn dude, your days are numbered, no wonder you're grasping at straws in order to say something intelligible and demeaning towards me.
And what about the rest of Team IC? What about B-Pac and Wafer?
Ya know what? I'm tired of talking about the ORS, lets talk about the real competition in ths match, my own team. Round one is going to be a joke, and when I initially said ten minutes is what its going to take to make jokes of all three of them, I was more than wrong. Its not even going to take that long. Cheapshots, you're right, when that bell rings, all bets are off, and so are the gloves. We make a great team, but it ends when the ORS ends. I've been waiting all week with the taste of gold driving me crazy, and I won't limit myself to anything to gain that title. I know I'm the odd man out here, but that may be my advantage. I'm elite, as I've said, but I'm not the Elite. I respect both of you men, but I'm the one with nothing to lose by kicking both of your asses right here in this arena. You're not my team, so I have no trouble lining up a whole group of Bitch Thumps to take each one of you down one at a time, and then climbing to my inevitable victory. I'll get you past round one, and I'll make sure you two stay at the top of this federation, but you're not going to any closer to the Undisputed title than that, I'll be damned! So, and I know this is a waste of breath to say this, but try not to wear yourselves out too much on Team ORS, because I want this to be a match to remember. Congratulations Cheapy, on getting past that bullshit that these choads tried to put you through, and congratulations X on a week of tag teaming on Skid, alternating with me on making him look like the biggest fool since Forrest Gump. Thats where the teamwork ends, so don't get upset when I thump Smoke Dawg and then turn right around and Thump both of you. This is just another dream that will never come true just to complement your sorrow. All I can say is stay prepared for anything.
Any last words?
Last words? You make it sound like I'm dying, you bastard. Fuck off, hows that for last words?
Ichabod turns and walks into the Staples Center as Jack Michealson motions for the crew to pack it up.
|
