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Ichabod opens the door of the church where a congregation has gathered. He walks down the aisle with a smirk of determination on his face. It seems a fitting place for him to address the followers of God like Dark Force. The congregation shuffles with a bit of confusion. Deidre sits in the first row with a knowing smile on her face. The minister isn't here, but Ichabod seems to be taking over for the sermon. He steps up to the podium and clears his throat.
Lately, Rage has said that he will bring his all to the match in order to beat me. Or something like that. PKA this, B-Pac that, Triple X hit me with a wiffle ball bat. Reh eh eh eh eh eh. Yes, the idiot sure did say a lot of hibbity jibbity bibbity swibbity. But has he ever really done anything worth noting? Has he ever earned enough money to put a Saleen Mustang in his driveway?
A rich looking guy in the congregation speaks quietly.
I love that car...
Has he ever defeated anybody as bad as herpes has?
A fat kid speaks up.
Herpes?
Has he ever really done anything that impresses any of us?
A woman stands and yells.
Rage spoke to my son and gave him the courage to get off drugs!
Ma'am i know your son, and believe me he was a lot better when he was on the drugs. At least when he was smoking hashish he used to make me laugh occasionally.
A man stands up holding his wife by the arm.
After trying for many years, Rage gave my wife some advice and helped us concieve a baby.
No no no, i feel sorry for your baby, because Rage himself helped your wife concieve that baby. He helped her concieve it all night long. What about you Deidre, can you think of anything that Rage has ever accomplished?
She stands up.
Ya know i wish i could think of something, but i can't think of a damn thing he's ever done for anybody including himself. Kinda makes you wonder if there really is a reason for Rage being here. Why don't we all just beat the hell out of him, whenever the hell we want?
I think I will. Come tomorrow, Rage is in store for one hell of an ass beating, and when i leave one boot less, the other one sticking up his sorry ass, everyone will realize that he doesn't matter a damn bit to any of us, except maybe Selena, but hey, she doesn't either so who gives a shit, really? I'm merely twenty some hours and a Bitch Thump away from being the victor against some little asshole that no one cares about. Now if you excuse me, I have a match to prepare for.
He leaves with Deidre on his arm, and the very confused but angry congregation talks excited about the words Ichabod used to describe rage and the way he will get his ass handed to him tomorrow.