DD: Have we ever been to this pisshole before? Who cares?! All I care about is that tonight somebody is gonna be leaving without a belt, and somebody is gonna be leaving without a career! I love it!

VJ: That's right! In the main event, we've got 2 rings, 2 cages, Double Jeopardy here tonight as the World Champion Lightning, the I-C and X-Treme Champion Kurt Angle, the Toughman Champion Krazed, and the returning Downcast lock it up for the gold! Somebody could walk out of this one without a career!

DD: Yeah, but Angle might not be able to put the I-C Title on the line, cuz he's gotta face Shark, the greatest I-C Champ of all time! I can't wait for that one!

VJ: We saw on Friday Night that Shark can beat Angle with the Shark Attack when he hit it on Kurt from the top of the cage. Can he beat him with it here tonight?!

DD: Hey, what about the Battle for Control of the Fed! We've got Panther Vs Sniper with Trish Stratus as the referee!

VJ: Trish has made it known that eventhough she signed Panther pack as the head of the Discipline Committee, she hates both he and Sniper. Sniper thinks that Trish and Panther are in cahoots! I can't wait to see how that one turns out! The TV and Tag Team Titles will be on the line as well, ladies and gents, let's kick this one off with the Women's Title match!!!

DD: PUPPIES!!!!!!!

VJ: Well it was, but Stacey said she didn't want it that way! Not for her belt!

DD: Stacey is a closed-minded extremist and she deserves to die! Damn her soul!!!!

VJ: That's not nice, Dave! Stop it!

VJ: Well folks, there are no bikinis in this match but this is gonna be an outstanding female contest!

DD: I'll outstanding female you!

VJ: What?! Stacey is talking some serious trash to Shyanne. There's the lockup…Stacey backs Shyanne to the buckle…BIG chop to the chest!

DD: What a chest! You sure it's too late to make this a bikini match?

VJ: Calm down, horsy! Stacey with another chop to Shyanne! Irish whip by Stacey sends Shy to the opposite turnbuckle…Stacey charges in and Shy gets the boots up…SPEAR!!!!! Shyanne with a big spear on Stacey and she's hammering away upon the Women's champ!!! Shyanne is going berserk…OH! She's banging the back of Stacey's head into the mat!!! Referee Stephanie Jenkins pulls Shyanne…Shyanne shoves Stephanie down!!!

VJ: Shyanne is beating the hell out of Stacey! She grabs the champ by the hair…she's got her by that jersey…OH! She just ripped that jersey off of Stacey!!!

DD: (Jumping onto the table) Look at the puppies Vince!!! Look at the puppies!!!!!

VJ: (Shoves Dave off the table) Get down from there you pervert! Stacey is in a world of trouble right now! Shyanne whips her to the ropes…POWERSLAM!!!!!!!! She hooks the leg…1…2…thr…no!!! Stacey able to roll that shoulder off the canvas! How on Earth did she do it? Watch Shyanne now…she hits off the ropes…bulldog sends Stacey hard to the mat!!! Shyanne hooks the leg…1…2…Stacey kicks out again!

DD: Stacey is one tough cookie! I gotta get her number after this one cuz…

VJ: Shark will kill you!

DD: Why would Stacey settle for a fish, when she could have a real man?! (Growl)

VJ: You faggot…I'm sorry folks. It slipped. Shyanne picks Stacey back up…Gut wrench…no…Gut buster!!!! The 2000 Diva of the Year is cooking Stacey! Can you smell that?! Bad joke! Shyanne is headed up to the top rope now…Shyanne is fixing to fly!

DD: Oh my God! Look out Stacey!!!!

VJ: High Cross Body by Shyanne…NOBODY HOME!!!!

DD: Awww. Poor little Shyanne! Put the boots to her!

VJ: Stop! Stacey picks up Shyanne…oh no! She wouldn't!!!! Stacey has Shy…OH!!!! Piledriver!!! She may have broken her neck! Cover by Stacey…1…2…kickout by Shyanne!

DD: How the hell did she kick out of a piledriver!

VJ: Well you see, she pressed her legs against the mat…

DD: Don't try to get smart with me, Canadian! I'll kick ya from here to Vancouver and back again!

VJ: Stacey picks Shyanne up by the hair…neckbreaker by the Women's Champ! Stacey is trying to punish Shyanne's neck after that piledriver! He has Shy by the hair…OH NO!!! Dragon Sleeper by the Champ!!!

DD: She's done, Vince!!! She's either gotta tap or have her neck snapped into pieces!

VJ: Shyanne is screaming in pain! I hate to see her like this. Stacey now has Shyanne's head bent back against her knee to put more pressure on the neck! The referee is asking Shyanne does she give up!

DD: She said yes!!! Ring the bell! Stacey is still the Women's Champ!

VJ: No!!! Shyanne is trying to escape from this hold…Stacey broke it herself! Stacey has Shy by the hair and drives the knee into the back of the neck of the champion! Stacey slams Shyanne facefirst into the mat and now she's climbing the ropes…OH!! Elbow drop to the back of the neck!!! Shyanne is done…cover by Stacey…1…2…Shyanne got the foot on the rope!!!

DD: That's so cheap!

VJ: Stacey just knew she had the match won there! She has Shyanne by the hair and backs her to the corner…she drives the shoulder into the midsection!!! And again!!! Stacey climbs the ropes and has Shyanne in 10 count punch position…here we go…1…2…3…4…5…6…whoa!!! Shyanne has Stacey…Sit-down Powerbomb right in the center of the ring!!!!!! The ref makes the count…1…2…Stacey kicked out!!! How the hell did she do it?!!!!!

DD: I don't know! I thought she was done too!

VJ: Shyanne is holding that neck but she's in control of this match…big boot to the head of Stacey! There's another one! Irish whip by Shyanne sends Stacey to the ropes…spinebuster by Shyanne!!!! She hooks the leg…1…2…Stacey got the shoulder up!!!!!! Shyanne has Stacey up again…huracanrana on the Champion! She hooks both legs…1…2…3!!!! No!!!! Stephanie Jenkins said it was only a 2!!!!!!

DD: Aww man! Come on Stacey! If you win you get a night with Dave!

VJ: I guess Stacey is gonna lose this one, huh? Shyanne has Stacey by the hair…OH!!! Right hand catches Shyanne hard in the midsection! Stacey with a rake at the eyes…get in there ref!!!!! Stacey just tried to gouge Shy's eyes out! Irish whip by Stacey sends Shyanne to the ropes…Stacey misses with a clothesline and Shyanne goes off the other side…she ducks the head…OH! Shyanne caught her with the double underhook! BUTTERFLY SUPLEX BY SHYANNE!!!!!! That's her bread and butter! We have a brand new Women's Champion if Shyanne can make the cover!!!!

DD: Her neck is hurting too back!

VJ: Come on Shyanne! Just roll over and you'll be the Champion!

DD: Vince, you horny bastard! Keep your hormones in check!

VJ: Oh you've got some nerve! Shyanne's head bounced off the canvas when she hit that move and she hurt her neck again! The ref is checking on Shyanne…she's asking the challenger if she wants to continue…

DD: Stop the match and give the belt to Stacey!

VJ: Will you shut up? Stacey is back to her feet…she has Shyanne by the hair and Shy damn near took her head off with a right hand to the jaw!!! Shyanne with another huracan--OH!!! Powerbomb by Stacey!!! She folded up Shyanne's neck like an accordion!!! Shyanne is done…1…2…3!!!! Damn it!!!!!

DD: What the hell are you so mad about?! Be unbiased like me!

VJ: Stacey Blitch just walked out of here with the victory and Shyanne may be hurt badly.

DD: She may have snapped her neck! HAHA!

VJ: That's not funny. Referee Stephanie Jenkins is checking on Shyanne…she's not moving! This is bad folks!

DD: It's good for me, cuz I never liked the bitch in first place! I hope we never have to see her in the NFWA again!

VJ: We've got EMTs out here to check on Shy…I really hope that's not a serious injury. Stacey has the mic.

Stacey: Now once again I've come out here and beaten this dirty, trailerpark whore Shyanne and proved to the whole world that I am the greatest Women's Champion the NFWA has ever seen! Now I'm sick and tired of fighting this skank! So you know what, I'm calling out any woman in the locker room who has the guts! Any woman in the locker room who think that they deserve a shot at the Women's title then bring it, and you will suffer the same fate as Shyanne here! It doesn't matter who it is or where you came from, when you step in the ring with Stacey Blitch you will feel the Quake!!!

DD: Hey wait a minute!!!! What's she doing here?!

VJ: Diamond is back in the NFWA, and it looks like she wants a piece of the Women's Title!

DD: She doesn't deserve a shot at the Title! Get her out of here!!!!

VJ: Diamond slides into the ring and Stacey nails her with a clothesline! Stacey backs Diamond to the buckle and she's hammering away on her with right hands! Irish whip by Stacey…Diamond with a reversal sends Stacey hard into the buckle…Diamond's Elbow on Stacey!!!!! The Women's Champion is in some trouble here!!!! Diamond has her by the hair…

DD: Panther, get off your fat ass and do something about this!!!!!

VJ: Oh no!!! It's Krazed and Shark of Xtreme Inc.!!! Krazed and Shark are in the ring…they have Diamond by the hair!!!! This isn't right!!!!

DD: Get her Stacey!!!!

VJ: Stacey with a big slap right to the face of Diamond!!! There's another one!!!! And another….

DD: What the hell?!

VJ: That's Lightning and Rick Bruiser!!! Lightning and Bruiser are coming to the aid of Diamond!!!!

DD: Look out guys!!!

VJ: Shark and Krazed catch Bruiser and Lightning before they can get into the ring and they're going at it on the floor! Krazed Irish whips Lightning into the guardrail…Lightning catches him with a boot to the face…Lightning with a chairshot to the head of Krazed!!!!! Shark throws Bruiser into the ring and he's hammering away on him in the corner! Lightning is in the ring and he's coming up behind Shark…OH!!! Big Shot right to the brain of Shark!!!!! And now it's Lightning and Bruiser in the ring with Stacey!

DD: They wouldn't hit Stacey, would they?!

VJ: I hope not! They've got Stacey backed in the corner…here comes Mad Dreams!!!! Madman pulls Stacey out of the ring and Nightmare is going after Lightning…Bruiser catches Nightmare with the Hot Shot and now Xtreme Inc. is trying to get out of dodge!

DD: What's the deal with this? Is Diamond with the Revolution now?

VJ: I don't know. Xtreme Inc. has come to the aid of Stacey and Diamond is in the ring with Bruiser and Lightning…wait a minute!!!! Diamond with a low blow to Bruiser!!!! Lightning just hit the Lightning Bolt on Bruiser!!!!! Lightning has just turned on Bruiser!!!!!

DD: WHAT?????!!!!

VJ: I can't believe he just did that!!!!!! Here come the rest of the Revolution to the ring and Lightning and Diamond are making an escape!!!

DD: What the hell is wrong with that idiot Lightning?! And I don't know what this Diamond chick is all about, but she just made a big mistake by siding with old bolt brain!

VJ: What a way to start off Total Annihilation…we just got word that Shyanne is ok back in the locker room. That's good news. Backstage we've got Rosie Sanchez standing with Panther!

RS: Well, Panther…

Panther: Thanks Rosie but you won't be needed for this little interview. Now Sniper, me and you, 1 on 1 , the winner has control of the NFWA. Now Snip, it's come to my attention that you think that…

Trish: How dare you walk away from me when I was talking to you on FNS the other day???! Do you know who I am, Panther?! I'M THE BOOKER!!!!! I'M YOUR BOSS! I'm the only reason you have this job and you have the nerve to treat me like that?!

Chyna: (Squeezing Trish's hand) Trish, is there a problem?

Trish: (nervously trying to pull her hand away from Chyna) Problem…why would you think there's a problem? There's no problem…right Panther?

Chyna: Good, cuz if there is a problem, then don't take it up with him, you take it up with me! Got that?!

Trish: Yes ma'am!

Panther: CHYNA!!!!!!

Chyna: I didn't like the way you were looking at her!

Panther: What did I do?!

VJ: Well Panther's having more lady problems, and there you see the Olympic Bad Ass Kurt Angle, who here tonight will be apart of that huge main event…

VJ: Good Lord! Who's car is that?!

DD: I had better not be mine!!!!

VJ and DD: OHHHHHHH MYYYYYYYYY GOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!!!!!

VJ: Somebody just ran over Kurt Angle with a MONSTER TRUCK!!!!!!

DD: Oh my God! Get some help for Kurt!!!!!

VJ: Angle has to be dead!!! Who the hell is driving that car?! Who the hell…that's Blade! You son of bitch! You killed Angle!!!!! You killed Angle you bastard!!!!!!! Damn it! Get some help back there for Kurt!!!!!!! Damn him to hell!!!!!

DD: Bruiser just attacked the ring announcer!

VJ: Bruiser is beating the hell out of the ring announcer on the floor…OH! He just gave him the Ripper!!!!! What the hell has gotten into everyone tonight?!

Bruiser: (Snatches the mic from the announcer) Lightning, you piece of sh*t! You don't know what you just started! When you turned your back on the Revolution, you signed your death warrant! So tonight I wouldn't worry about losing your career, you need to worry about losing your life!

DD: Damn he's pissed!

VJ: What a cheap shot by Bruiser!!! This match is underway and the former I-C Champion is hammering away on Glacier. Irish whip by Bruiser sends Glacier to the ropes…Bruiser misses with a clothesline and Glacier nails him with a flying forearm!!!

DD: Watch out, Ricky!!!

VJ: Glacier is waiting for Bruiser to get up…here's the Meltdown…NO! Bruiser caught the foot…he spins him around and tries for the Hot Shot…low blow by Glacier!

DD: What a cheater!

VJ: It's no holds barred!!! Glacier just ran right through Bruiser with a big clothesline that sends him flying over the top rope to the arena floor! This night is not starting out to be a Revolution night!

DD: You see, Glacier is making a big mistake! Bruiser is already mad about the Lightning thing and he's making it worse! Bruiser might just snap, rip off his leg and shove it down Glacier's throat!

VJ: Why would Bruiser rip off his own leg?

DD: No…dumbass!

VJ: Bruiser just pulled a ladder out of the crowd…why the hell is a ladder in the crowd?! He's headed back into the ring and Glacier just baseball slid that ladder into the face of Bruiser!! Rick Bruiser is irate!

DD: Come on! You can't get shown up by an unknown, Ricky!

VJ: Glacier is pretty quick for a big man! He goes out to the floor…he has Bruiser by the hair…Irish whip by Glacier sends Bruiser crashing into the stairs! Bruiser is in some real trouble in this match up! Glacier just went underneath the ring…uh oh! He's getting some toys!

DD: I hate toys…well I hate most toys. I like those…

VJ: Glacier has a kendo stick and he charges at Bruiser…OH!!! He ran right into a superkick from Bruiser! Rick Bruiser has turned the tide with that one blow…and now he's got a chair!

DD: Have a seat, Ice man!

VJ: Look out…OH!!! Bruiser just nailed Glacier with that chair!!!! Bruiser nails him again…again…damn it again!

DD: Bruiser's snapped! I told ya he'd snap but you didn't wanna listen to me!

VJ: Bruiser picks Glacier up by the hair and slams him hard into the East Berlinian announce table! Bruiser slams him hard into the table again! Irish whip by Bruiser sends Glacier crashing---OH! He threw him right threw the guardrail!!!!! Glacier just took out the front row!!!! Bruiser just snatched a pitcher of water and he's walking over to Glacier now…Glacier is getting back to his feet…OH!!!!! Bruiser just shattered that pitcher over the head of Glacier!!!!

DD: Well, Glacier had a nice little run, but in the end I guess the great Bruiser caught up with him, huh?

VJ: Bruiser tosses Glacier back into the ring…he's got that chair again! OH!!!!!!! Big Shot right to the head of Glacier!!!!

DD: he caved his skull in!!!!!

VJ: Bruiser with a big chairshot to the head of Glacier…Glacier is trying to get back to his feet…BOOM! He caught another big shot to the head!!!!!! Just pin him, Rick!

DD: You don't tell Rick Bruiser what to do!!! He'll come over here and hit you so hard with 1 of those chairs that you'll be wearing the toupee on your ass!

VJ: I don't wear a toupee! Damn it! Bruiser with another shot to the head of Glacier!!!! Referee get in there and stop this! This is a damn assault!!!!

DD: Don't worry crybaby. He's gonna finish him off now!

VJ: Thank God. Bruiser has Glacier by the hair…he's getting ready for…look in the aisle! There's Lightning!

DD: Uh oh! He's got some nerve!!!

VJ: Lightning is standing in the aisle…Bruiser just spotted him! Bruiser just spotted Lightning…he just told Lightning to bring it!

DD: Lightning doesn't have the balls to bring it…wait a minute!

VJ: Lightning is on his way down to the ring!!!! Lightning is on his way down here…Bruiser is waiting for him! We're gonna have Lightning and Bruiser right now…

DD: Rick…turn around!!!

VJ: Lightning is climbing into the ring…Bruiser tries to grabs Lightning but misses…he walks right into the Meltdown from Glacier!!!! Glacier hooks the leg…

DD: He can't!!!!!

VJ: 1…2…3!!!!!!! GLACIER HAS JUST DEFEATED RICK BRUISER!!!!! RICK BRUISER HAS GONE DOWN!!!!!!

VJ: Glacier just got the win over the former I-C Champion Bruiser, and Lightning is loving every minute of it!!!

DD: no fair!! Who the hell is this Glacier idiot!

VJ: Bruiser has been knocked out cold…Lightning is walking back to the locker room laughing, and Glacier is leaving as well!

DD: I feel so sorry for Bruiser and the Revolution!

VJ: Well folks…speaking of bad nights…tonight could've been the greatest night of Kurt Angle's life, but now, unfortunately it is not. Earlier on tonight Kurt Angle was savagely run down by Blade in…in a monster truck.

DD: Who the hell is that Blade idiot?! How did he get in here?!

VJ: Well we apologize…

DD: F*ck the apologies, I say somebody track down this Blade idiot and take him to jail! If not he needs to be dragged into the street and shot! And I mean that!

VJ: Dave and I don't usually agree on anything…but this attack by Blade was totally uncalled for…and now our main event is definitely in jeopardy.

DD: A man may be dead and all you can think about is the main event! This fed needs to be shut down! Somebody is always dying around here! It's not safe!

VJ: Well Kurt Angle is being loaded into the ambulance…we wish him luck. Godspeed, Kurt! Godspeed!

KT: Shark, Krazed, I know both of you were scheduled to meet Kurt Angle here tonight, but due to that tragic accident earlier tonight that won't happen. What do you have to say about that?

Shark: Well I have a big heart. I'm a loving, caring person so naturally I feel sorry for Kurt Angle. I feel sorry for his family…

Krazed: I feel sorry for his mother.

Shark: I always felt sorry for his mother, but anyway, it's a shame that Kurt Angle won't be able to defend that I-C Belt here tonight, cuz I was really looking forward to beating his ass after what he did to Stacey and Darkness last week. Now, with all sorrow aside, I am the Greatest I-C Champ of all time, and as the Greatest I-C Champ of all time, I think that the only just thing to do is have somebody come out here and hand that title over to me. Don't you agree Kevin?

KT: Well…

Sniper: Look, I don't give a rat's ass about Angle! Frankly I think that little bitch got what's coming to him! He's just lucky it wasn't the Posse driving that truck, but I don't wanna talk about Angle! I wanna talk about Panther and I wanna talk about Trish! Do you think I'm stupid?! Panther, if you're not smart enough to fool that half-wit Chyna, you damn sure won't be able to fool me! I know there's something going on between you 2, and I know you're gonna try to pull something tonight! So Panther, tonight in that match you can have your bitch as the ref, but only if Maria is the 2^nd ref!! What…

Shark: Sniper, don't you EVER interrupt Xtreme Inc. again! Now …

Sniper: look Flipper, do you know who the hell I am?! I'm…

Shark: I don't give a damn who the hell you are, you don't interrupt us. This is our time, if you've got a problem with it, tough sh*t!!!

Sniper: (laughing) Let me tell you something, Flipper, the last time we went up against each other you ended up 20,000 leagues under the sea. Remember that? Well last time I let you live! If you cross me again, then I promise that what happens to you is gonna be 10 times worse than what happened to Kurt Angle out there! Did I make myself clear?!

VJ: OH!! Shark hit Sniper!!!

DD: What?!

VJ: Shark just hit Sniper…we've got a brawl in the hallway! We've got Xtreme Inc and the 9^th Street Posse going at it in the hallway! We've got Discipline Committee members and officials back there to break this one up!!! It's wild here tonight at Total Annihilation!

DD: This is gonna be great!

VJ: Staks backs KV to the buckle and is stomping a hole right into his abdomen! Staks has KV by the hair…

DD: Look out StakS!!!

VJ: WHOA!!! KV just took another swipe at him with that hand blade but Staks manages to move…he hits off the ropes and nails him with an unbelievable Thez Press!!!! Staks is hammering away to the side of the head with tremendous right hands! Staks is on fire!

DD: Don't say that! As crazy as people are around here lately, KV might actually try to set him on fire!

VJ: Staks hits off the ropes…he catches KV with a kneelift that sends him flying into the ropes…Staks hits off the ropes again…OH!!! KV back body drops him hard to the arena floor!!!! Did you see the elevation on that back drop?!

DD: He almost sent Staks into orbit!

VJ: Scarlet just went to the floor…what's that he's got…

DD: It's a shovel, idiot!

VJ: Scarlet KV has a shovel…what's he gonna do with that?! KV is stalking Staks on the floor…look out Staks!

DD: Don't tell him he's coming!

VJ: KV charges and misses with that shovel shot…Staks with a side Russian leg sweep sends KV's head bouncing off the guardrail!!! He may have busted him wide open with that one! The ref is over here to check it out…

DD: It's nothing! Let them fight!

VJ: Referee Al Gore says it's nothing so this match is gonna continue!

DD: Well it may not be nothing for long…Staks has the stairs!

VJ: Oh no! Staks has the steel stairs and he's walking over to KV…look out Scarlet!!!!

DD: Vince, you damn snitch!!! I told you to shut the hell up!!!

VJ: Staks throws the stairs…OH NO!!! He missed and took out Gary Coleman, star of Diff'rent Strokes!!!!!!

DD: Gary Coleman?! That's Midget Clown's illegitimate twin father!!!!

VJ: Stop it!!! KV takes a stab at Staks, misses and stabs ANOTHER security guard!!! Staks from behind…OH!! He bulldogs him into the other part of the steel stairs!!!! KV hit face first off the steel!!!!!

DD: He's got STEEEEL, Vince!

VJ: You and your steel!

DD: Staks has some more STEEL! Give it to him! Give it to him!!!

VJ: This crowd is really hot for this match! Staks takes a swing with that chair but KV moves out of the way…OH! Low blow on Staks…Scarlet KV shoves the champion right into the ringpost!!! Gore is checking on Staks to see if he's bleeding…he says he's clean!

DD: I don't know how clean he is. You know how that pot head Staks is! (Rolls a blunt)

VJ: Oh Lord! You need treatment! Scarlet KV rolls Staks into the ring… and once again he's stalking the champion with that hand blade!!

DD: (Lights up the blunt) He's fixing to turn old Staks into cole slaw!!!!

VJ: Ref, this is 1^st blood but I don't think these were supposed to be the rules!!! Get that damn…hey wait a minute! Here comes Angel and Jamal of the Posse!

DD: They've come for the weed! Quick, hide it, Vince!

VJ: Get that thing away from me! Jamal and Angel hit the ring…Jamal just caught KV by the throat…NO!!!!! CHOKESLAM!!!!!! CHOKESLAM ON SCARLET KV!!!!! Why are they helping Staks???!

DD: Well it's because the Posse is a group of thugs, Staks is a thug, and all thugs stick together! I used to be a thug, you know.

VJ: Angel has that shovel…Staks is setting up for the Thug…what the hell did he do that for?! Angel just bashed Staks' brains in with that shovel!!! Why?!

DD: That's cuz Staks isn't a real thug! I heard he was in the boy scouts!

VJ: He is not! The 9^th Street Posse has made an impact on this match and they're attacking both men…wait a minute!!!!!! It's the Discipline Committee!!!

DD: We go from thugs to goons!!! Get out of there guys!!!!

VJ: Panther's henchmen hit the ring and look at Angel and Jamal scatter!!! Angel and Jamal are trying to get back to the locker room…

DD: Oh no, they're trapped!!! I'll save you guys!!! (Pulls out his gun, but Vince slaps him in the head and he drops it)

VJ: Idiot! The Posse is trapped…Angel and Jamal are escaping through the crowd with the Discipline Committee hot on their trail!!! Thank God they were able to get out here before any real damage is done!

DD: Yeah, Sniper is gonna do some real damages to all their punk asses later!

VJ: Both Scarlet KV and the TV Champion Staks are down in the ring…KV has that shovel again!!! He's about to nail Staks with it…no!!! Staks with a double leg takedown on Scarlet KV…OH!!!! Slingshot by Staks sends KV's head bouncing off the ring post!!! He may have busted him open there!!!!

DD: Staks can't be stopped, Vince!!

VJ: Staks has that shovel now and he's measuring KV…he swings…NO!!!! He just bashed Al Gore in the head with that shovel!!!!!! Al Gore has been busted open!!!!!

DD: HAHA! Staks wins!!!

VJ: Umm…no the winner is the 1^st person to make his opponent bleed, not the ref.

DD: He still wins for being the 1^st person in the NFWA to make Al Gore bleed! That idiot cost me $1000 bucks on that last election!

VJ: You would be the jackass to bet on an election. KV has Staks by the throat and he's trying to slice him in the face with that hand blade…OH!!! Staks counters with a ferocious low blow!!!!! Staks just reached into his pocket and he's pouring something onto the mat…those are THUMBTACKS!!!!

DD: that is sooooo tacky!!!! HAHAHHA!!!!

VJ: Idiot. Staks has Scarlet KV hooked…double arm DDT on the tacks!!!!!!! Look at KV…he's bleeding!!!! Staks is the winner!!!!!

DD: You're damn right he's the winner! He busted open 2 people in 1 match! I say give him the million dollars!

VJ: What the hell are you talking about?! Wait…KV is back up…he just snatched that camera from the cameraman…OH!!!! He just bashed Staks right in the face with it!!!!

DD: he knocked his face off! I think it landed in Gary Coleman's lap!

VJ: Good, he looks like he can use a new face…I didn't mean that. Staks has been busted open by that camera shot…he's hot! Staks is getting back to his feet…KV tries for a right hand…Staks fires with 1 of his own!!!! Staks with another right…another…Staks hits off the ropes…clothesline sends KV over the top rope to the floor!!!! Scarlet KV is nothing but a sore loser…

DD: What took them so long to ring the bell?

VJ and DD: WHAT???!!!!

VJ: NO!!!! Staks busted KV open!!!! Staks won the match fair and square…

DD: Hey, I think I know what happened! Al Gore just woke up and he saw that Staks was bleeding from KV's camera shot! That means KV is the winner!!!!!

VJ: NO!!! That's not fair!!! Staks is about to beat the piss out of referee Al Gore…OH!!! Scarlet KV just bashed him right in the head with a chairshot!!!! KV has just stolen the TV title!

DD: He stole nothing! You can't call what you can't see! Did you take my wallet?!

VJ: Why don't you ask Gary Coleman?! This one isn't settled by a long shot!!!

KT: Downcast, many people have been saying that you are the mysterious masked man who has been haunting the NFWA since the end of December. Now I'm gonna ask you…is it true?

Downcast: Why is it that I get blamed for everything around here?! Shark's limo gets driven into the river, Panther blames it on me and I go to jail!!!! Now we've got some masked man running around and you wanna put that on me, well I'm not taking it! I told you no once, and I meant it!

KT: Well we've got evidence. 1^st there's motive. Let's go back to Hell on Earth back in August, where your month-long world title reign came to an end thanks to the Professional! When the Professional came back at the end of October, he began receiving death threats and was finally put out of action by the masked man at Apocalypse Now! Then last week on FNS, you were thrown underneath the ring during your tag team table match with Lightning. When Lightning tried to go underneath the ring, the masked man popped out and attacked him. When he later looked underneath the ring, the masked man was gone, but you were still there! Then last night, the masked man attacked Lightning only after you had left him in the tag match! Lightning tried to go into your dressing room and the masked man attacked him! And finally, at the end of the show, you came out with the World Title belt that had been stolen by the masked man, and again assaulted Lightning! Now Downcast, I ask you again, are you the masked man?

Downcast: I really didn't need the history lesson, but…

Downcast: Now I know that you don't care to listen to me nor do I care..but you do know that I am not the masked man, I mean c'mon, how much would that make sense, since I'm going to take your title tonight, so why would I have the need to steal it before then, understand? If you wanna point the finger at somebody, why don't you point it at Crazy Lou???!

DD: Wait a minute! Was that the masked man?!

VJ: I don't know who that was?! All I know is that thanks to this masked man and the injury to Kurt Angle, our main event is in serious jeopardy!!!!

KV: (Holding up his hand blade) Why did I help the Elites?! (Laughs) It's this simple…

DD: Oh no!!! Scarlet!!!

VJ: Staks has just gotten a piece of Scarlet KV!!! My God, he busted him wide open with that coffee pot!!! Staks hits him again…and again!!! Staks is beating the hell out of Scarlet KV with that coffee pot!!!

DD: They say caffeine will kill ya but this is ridiculous!!!!

VJ: Staks picks up KV…he grabs him by the hair…OH!!! Staks just launched him through a window!!!!!! Scarlet KV has just been totally annihilated by the former TV Champion!!!!

DD: Vince, you piece of rat sh*t!!!!! This is no time for jokes, our champion has been soiled!!!!

VJ: Please!

DD: Did you see that?!

VJ: Is Panther the masked man?!

DD: Those worthless faggots in the truck! (Stroking his gun) I got half a mind to go back there and shove this piece…

VJ: OH IS THAT REALLY NECESSARY????!! We've got Shark, Stacey and Posidin on their way out here to ringside…at this time we were scheduled to have Kurt Angle defend the I-C Title against Shark, but unfortunately due to that no good bastard Blade and a monster truck, Kurt Angle is dead!!!

DD: Yup! He's dead and buried and not alive! Long live the SHARK ATTACK!!!!!!

VJ: I thought you liked Angle?!

DD: Yeah, but he's dead!

VJ: You loved him while he was living but you hate him cuz he's dead?

DD: Yeah, because now that he's dead he doesn't have to spend time listening to a yuck-mouth bastard such as yourself! I wish I was dead!

VJ: (Stroking Dave's gun) That can be arranged!!!!

Shark: (In the ring with a mic) Now Sniper, Trish, Marian…

VJ: Who's Marian?

DD: Your momma! Let the man speak!

Shark: what I want you to do is bring me my belt, and bring it right here, right now!!!!!!

VJ: Shark is demanding that 1 of the officials come out here and give him the I-C Belt!

DD: I think they can hear that, Vinny!!!! Stupid!

Shark: C'mon! I don't have all night…ok! I'm gonna give you to the count of 10 to bring me my belt or I'm gonna come back there and take it!!! It's up to you! Here we go…1…2…3…4…5…6…7…8…9…10! Sniper, if you wanted another piece of me, this is your lucky night!

VJ: Uh oh! Shark is going backstage to get…

DD: Look!!! It's Kurt Angle from the crowd!!!!

VJ: WHAT THE HELL?! LOOK OUT SHARK!!!!! OH!!!!!! Kurt Angle with the I-C Title belt to the head of Shark!!!!

VJ: My God…I thought Angle was dead!!!!

DD: It's a miracle!

VJ: Miracle my ass! NOBODY gets run over by a monster truck and lives to tell about it!

DD: Ok…it's viagra!!!!!!

VJ: VIAGRA?!!!!! Angle is hammering away with huge right hands to the head of Shark! He picks up Shark by the hair and slams him hard into the turnbuckle!!!!! Angle is putting the boots to the midsection of Shark! He's getting the upper hand on the Greatest I-C Champ of all time…Shark Bite buckles the knees of Angle!!!! There's another one!!! The Big Man has the I-C Champion reeling now…Shark hits off the ropes…BIG FLYING SHOULDERBLOCK!!!!!!! Shark sends Angle rolling out to the floor where Stacey is waiting…BOOM! Stacey slapped him right across the face!!!

DD: HAHA! Go Stacey!!!!

VJ: That dirty, rotten Angle! He just took a swing at Stacey and missed…Stacey slaps him again! Angle swings again but Posidin catches it…he slams Angle headfirst into the steel!!!! Angle is out on his feet…Shark has the Olympic Bad Ass by the hair and pulls him back up to the ring apron…belly to back suplex into the ring!!!! Shark has him bridged…1…2..kickout by Angle!!!

DD: Get him, Kurt!!!!

VJ: Angle back to his feet…Shark caught him on the jaw with a big boot that floors Kurt!!! Shark hits off the ropes..BIG SPLASH!!!!! Shark hooks the leg…1…2…Angle got the foot on the ropes!!!

DD: Kurt Angle is spending more time on the mat than Barry Horowitz! Remember Barry Horowitz?!

VJ: Unfortunately. And he highlighted a SummerSlam! Shark has Angle locked in a reverse chinlock…he's trying to wear the champion down! This crowd can't believe that Angle is still alive after what happened to him earlier tonight, and they want him to pay for that!

DD: What, you're saying you wanted Kurt to die?!

VJ: No…I didn't mean it that way. Kurt is trying to fight this reverse chinlock from Shark…OH! Shark buries that knee to the midsection…Shark has him by the hair and slams him hard into the turnbuckle!!!! Shark with an Irish whip sends Angle crashing hard into the buckle...Shark charges in at Angle and runs right into an elbow from the Champion!!!! Kurt has Shark hooked…overhead belly to belly suplex!!!!! Shark is done!!!! Angle hooks the leg…1…2…OH! Shark kicked out!!!!! Kurt Angle almost snuck into the back door and stole this match!

DD: He did what?!

VJ: Nevermind. Angle with a boot to the back of the head of Shark…there's another one…oh no! What a creep Angle is! He just blew a kiss at Stacey out on the floor!

DD: He's the Olympic Bad Ass! He respects nothing!

VJ: Angle picks Shark up by the hair…northern lights suplex with a bridge by Angle…1…2…kickout by Shark!!!! Kurt Angle is taking it to the Champion right now. He picks Shark back up now…what a jerk! Angle just slapped Shark in the face!!!! OH! Shark knocks Angle to his knees with another Shark Bite!!! Angle with a right hand to the midsection of Shark…Shark hammers down with an axehandle to the back of Angle!!!!

DD: Uh oh, Vince! Shark is getting stronger!!!

VJ: Shark grabs Angle by the hair and pulls him back up…small package by Kurt…1…2…Kickout by Shark!!! Both Shark and Angle quickly back to their feet and they tear into each other with right hands…Shark's have more power and they send Kurt staggering to the ropes!

DD: Where's a monster truck when you need one?! Come on, Kurt!!!

VJ: Shark whips Angle to the ropes…he tries for a clothesline but Kurt counters with a float over…OH NO!!!! Shark caught Angle in midair with that float over…OH WOULD YOU LOOK AT THE STRENGTH OF SHARK????!

DD: Oh no!!! I don't like this, Vince!

VJ: Shark has Kurt up for a gorilla press slam…Shark…OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DD: Sweet mother of milk-drinking…

VJ: (Mic giving off a lot of static) Shark just press slammed Angle over the top rope and through our table!!!!! Angle crashed headfirst through our table!!!!

DD: If he wasn't dead before, he is now!!!

VJ: The referee is counting Kurt out…no! Shark doesn't want it that way!!! Shark rolls to the floor and breaks the count!

DD: Idiot! You had the match won!

VJ: Well you can't win the title on a count out, Evad!

DD: What did you call me?!

VJ: Nevermind! Shark has Angle by the hair…Angle with a rake to the eyes…OH! He slammed Shark hard into the steel barricade!!!! Angle has the I-C Title belt now…he's gonna hit Shark with the belt!

DD: Screw that, run Kurt! Run!!!!

VJ: I think he heard you…and Kurt Angle is running away with the belt! Some bad ass, huh?

DD: The baddest ass in all the land!

VJ: Kurt is running up the aisle with Posidin chasing behind him! Shark will win by count…OH!!! Madman came from the locker room and nailed Kurt with a running chairshot!!!!

DD: Xtreme Inc. was showing so much promise over the last couple of weeks!! Why do they gotta pick on Angle?!

VJ: It's all about the gold in the NFWA!!! Madman has Angle over his shoulder and he's carrying him back to ringside…he tosses Angle into the ring!!! Angle is out cold after that chairshot! Get in their and cover him, Shark!!!!

DD: Oh who are you rooting for, here?!

VJ: I don't know! Shark is crawling back into the ring…he's crawling over to Angle…he lays an arm across the chest and we have a new Champion…1…2…3!!!!!

DD: NO NO NO!!! Only a 2!!!!!

VJ: How close do you get?! What a match we have on our hands!!!! Shark picks Angle up…uh oh!!!!

DD: I feel a stampede coming on, Vince!!!!

VJ: Atlantis Express!!! He hooks the tights…or pants…what the hell is Angle wearing?! 1…2…kickout by Olympic Angle!!! Kurt Angle is in a world of hurt and Shark…he just signaled for the Shark Attack!!!

DD: I'll miss Angle!

VJ: Angle will not walk into the Double Jeopardy match with the I-C Title!! We saw Friday Night that Kurt Angle can be beaten by the Shark Attack, and Shark is gonna show us again!!! Shark is headed to the top rope…Kurt Angle is back up…OH!! He shakes the ropes!!!

DD: That's a smart Angle!!!

VJ: Wait a minute! Kurt is climbing the ropes…he's going for a superplex on Shark!!!

DD: He's too heavy, you idiot!!

VJ: Did you call Kurt Angle an idiot?!

DD: YES!!!!

VJ: Ok, just making sure. Angle is trying to superplex Shark…Shark shoves him off into the center of the ring! Kurt is back up…SHARK ATTACK!!!!!!! It's all over!!!! 1…2…3!!!!! We have a new I-C Champion!!!!!!!!!

DD: NO!! Angle's foot is on the rope!!!!

VJ: it is?! It is!!!!! I can't believe it!!! Shark can't believe it!!! What a match!!!!! Shark drags Kurt out to the center of the ring…he goes for the cover…Kurt with an inside cradle…he has the tights…1…2..3!!! Damn it!!!!!!

DD: What a miracle, Vince!!! His 1^st match back from the dead and Angle retains the I-C Title against the greatest of all time!

VJ: In my opinion that was the greatest I-C Championship match in history…next to that Triple Deck Cell match, but what a match that was! Angle with a handful of tights has stolen the win right out from under Shark's nose! Angle is celebrating in the aisle and look at the look of disgust on the face of Shark!

DD: You lost, Sharky!!! You lost!!!

VJ: These 2 definitely will meet again in the future.

DD: How do you know Angle will leave here with his belt?!

VJ: Good point.

KT: Kurt…congrats on the win but the World wants to know…how did you survive that monster truck attack earlier in the night?!

Kurt: Kevin Taylor, do I look like an idiot?!

KT: Yes. Yes you do!

Kurt: Blade, let me tell you something! I was onto your little scheme! I knew that you were gonna try and run me down with that monster truck and I knew you were gonna try and keep me from wrestling in that main event. So I thought ahead! Thankfully, my big brother Eric Angle was around and he sacrificed himself for my title shot! Incase you didn't figure it out, Blade, you jackass, you didn't run me down! You got my brother! Nothing is gonna stand in my way of the World Title…not Lightning, not Krazed, not Downcast, not a zamboni, not a kendo stick, not a GOAT, and sure as hell not a Blade and a monster truck!! When it's all said and done, I will be the NFWA World Heavyweight Champion, and that is TRUE!!!!!

DD: LOOK OUT KURT!!!!!!!

VJ: OH!!! That's Blade!!!! Blade just ran out of nowhere and bashed Angle in the dome with a coffee mug!!!!

DD: What's up with the senseless assaults with coffee products?!

VJ: Blade has Kurt Angle now…OH!!! Cradle Piledriver on Angle on the floor!!!! Angle is down again!!!! Angle is down again!!!

DD: Oh no!!!!

RS: Panther…I'm gonna try this again. Is that ok?

Panther: Rosie, baby, as long as you ask me politely and don't ask me any stupid questions, you can come in here and talk to me anytime you want.

RS: (Smiling) Really?!

Panther: Really!

RS: (Blushing) Thanks, Panther. Ok, now a little while ago we saw the masked man enter your dressing room. Now that obviously brings the speculation to you. Are you the masked man?!

Panther: You wanna know if I'm the masked man?!

RS: Ye--

Panther: Get the hell out of my office.

RS: But…

Panther: Get the hell out. (Rosie turns to leave) And leave the mic!

Panther: Alright, get that camera on me. Now first of all let me talk about this "fear" sh*t! Everytime Chyna and I turn around it's fear this, fear that, fear fear fear! Let me tell you something, I don't fear a damn thing. But whoever you are, you want a piece of P-Diddy? Well you had better fear catching a P-Diddy-style ass whooping cuz that's exactly what you're getting if you get in my way. Now onto my match with Sniper! Trish Stratus as the ref, Snip wants Maria as a 2^nd ref. Well I've said it before and I'll say it again, Trish Stratus is nothing but a (LOOOOOOOOOONG BEEEEEP). I can't stand her and she can't stand me. Now Snipster, you want Maria as a ref, well I say fine cuz frankly I don't think Trish knows how to count to 3. It doesn't matter if it's 1 ref, 2 refs, 8 refs, 12, all that matters is that in the end I will be in control of the NFWA, bottom line. So Snip, don't worry about exercising your authority, worry about exercising this size 11 boot out of your fat ass cuz as always…there's no right way, there's no wrong way, there's only the Panther's way…

Chyna: AND THERE CAN'T BE ANY OTHER WAY!!!!!

Lightning: WHERE IS HE?!

Panther: Where is who?!

Lightning: I know that masked man came in here! Wait…Panther…if you're the masked man…

Panther: Spark, we've been through this before! Now let me squash all of this right now. If I wanted to attack you I wouldn't put some mask on to do it! If I wanted to attack you I would do it face to face…man to man…like this…

VJ: What the hell???!! Panther just nailed Lightning in the head with a chairshot!!!!!!! Why did he do that???!!

Chyna: Paybacks are a bitch!!!

DD: Shut up, Vince! You and I both know that Panther was a horrible Prez!

VJ: I don’t know about that!

DD: Name me one good thing Panther ever did for the NFWA!

VJ: HE CREATED THE NFWA!!!!!

DD: OK, name 10!

VJ: Wait a minute!!!! It's Shawn Michaels!!! Shawn Michaels is here!!!

DD: What's he doing…he doesn't work here, Vince!!! He has no right being here! Put his ass in a box and ship him back to Texas!!!!!

VJ: Shawn Michaels is on his way down to the ring and look at that look on Sniper's face! Sniper is pissed off! It was just last night that Sniper called HBK out to a fight on FNS this week! Michaels is headed over here…

HBK: Vinny, Davey, what's happening?!

DD: You have no right being here! Go back home, ya damn freak!

HBK: That's not nice, Dave!

DD: Well Shawn, you don't work here, why did you show up here tonight?

HBK: Well Sniper want to call me out, well I've said it time and time again, the Heartbreak Kid lays down for absolutely nobody! I didn't do it for people like…

VJ: Sniper is over here in Shawn's face!

DD: Uh oh! He might not wait until FNS! He might just kick your ass right here!

HBK: Well he can bring it…(throws down his headset and shoves Sniper)

VJ: We've got a situa…

DD: Look…there's Panther!

VJ: Panther is out here now. Panther climbs into the ring…he's getting in Maria's face.

DD: Maria will kick his ass! Don't mess with her!

VJ: Panther and Maria are having an argument in the…what the hell??!! Trish just nailed Maria in the back of the head with brass knuckles!!!!!! Maria is out like a light!!!!

DD: Trish and Panther set Maria up!

VJ: They did not! Sniper just saw what happened and he climbs back into the ring to check on Maria…

DD: Sniper…look behind you!!!!

VJ: Panther is standing behind Sniper…he grabs him by the hair…PANTHER CUTTER!!!!!

VJ: Trish just rang the bell and Panther makes the cover…1…2…thr…OH SON OF A BITCH!!!!! The Posse just pulled Sniper out of the ring!

DD: That's good! Did you see that fast count by Trish! She and Panther are in cahoots, I tell ya! Cahoots!

HBK: Now what we have here is the Posse saving Sniper's sorry ass from getting beat!

VJ: Sniper and the Posse are on the floor talking strategy…what in the hell? They're going after Chyna now!

DD: Great! That'll show Shawn what happens to people who don't work in the…look out!!!!!

VJ: Panther is on the top rope…OH!!!!! Corkscrew Plancha just took every member of the 9^th Street Posse!!!!! Panther has just taken out the Posse…Angel is back up and nails Panther from behind with a forearm!!!! Fredo catches Panther with a kick to the gut! The Posse is mugging Panther on the floor!!! Chyna is trying to help out…OH!! Damn it! Sniper just kicked Chyna right in the face!!!!

HBK: Trish, get your lazy ass out to the floor and do something!

VJ: Panther is being assaulted…here comes Xtreme Inc.!!!! Shark, Posidin, Madman and Nightmare are out here and they're attacking the Posse!!!!!! Xtreme Inc. and the Posse are going at it again!!!!

DD: What the hell is wrong with Xtreme Inc. tonight?!

VJ: Well it could be that limo incident with Shark that Sniper brought up earlier tonight! Posidin, Nightmare and Madman are fighting in the aisle with Angel, Jovan and Jamal!!!! Shark has a steel chair…

HBK: Somebody is gonna get some steel!

DD: Don't you ever steal my line you dirty…

VJ: OH!!! Sniper has just been nailed with that chairshot from Shark!!! Trish is watching it all happen and she's not doing anything about it! Back on the floor, Chyna is checking on Panther…OH!! Fredo hit her from behind…Chyna hit him back!!! We've got Fredo and Chyna going at it on the floor!

HBK: I've known Chyna for a while, and she's not the woman to be picking a fight with. I'll say that now!

VJ: Chyna and Fredo are fighting…Panther has a steel chair…OH!!! He just nailed Fredo right in the head!

HBK: Home run hit by P-Diddy!

DD: Shut up!

VJ: Panther and Chyna have Fredo by the hair…they just tossed him up onto the West Berlinian announce table…

DD: Why can't Berlin just integrate here tonight?!

HBK: Cuz then they'd have to sit next to you!

VJ: Stop it! Panther and Chyna have Fredo…X BOMB THROUGH THE ANNOUNCE TABLE BY PANTHER AND CHYNA!!!!!! They may have just snapped his neck!!!!! Back on the other side of the ring…Shark has that chair again and once again he bashes Sniper in the head!!!! The Posse has been taken out completely and Shark tosses Sniper into the ring!

HBK: Panther, get in there and pin him!

VJ: Panther just saw Sniper down in the ring and he's headed to the top rope…Panther hits a tremendous frog splash!!!!! He hooks the leg…Trish with the count…1…2…Maria just attacked Trish from behind!!!!

DD: Yeah! Give that slut exactly what she deserves!

VJ: Maria is mauling Trish Stratus in the ring…Panther just grabbed Maria by the hair…he picks her up over his shoulder…

HBK: OK, Panther may be going a little too far!

DD: He's gonna tombstone her!!!!!

VJ: Panther has Maria up for a tombstone…Sniper is back up and he nails him with a superkick on the jaw!!!! Sniper hooks the leg and Maria with a fast count…1…2…Trish breaks it up and Panther kicks out as well! This match has to be 1 of the most controversial we've ever had!! Sniper picks up his former tag team partner by the hair now…big boot to the midsection by Sniper!!! There's another one! Sniper has a weight advantage on Panther…

DD: Who doesn't?!

VJ: True. Sniper lifts Panther up by his throat…he tosses him back to the buckle hard and runs into him with a clothesline!!! Sniper…knife-edge chop to the chest! There's another one! Sniper is talking more trash to Shawn Michaels and some for Chyna as well!

HBK: I hope Panther beats the hell out of him!

VJ: Sniper whips Panther hard into the other buckle and catches him with a tilt-a-whirl slam!!!! Sniper drags Panther to the center of the ring…he's headed to the top rope now! Sniper is setting up for something…SENECON BOMB!!!!!!

DD: Yeah!!!!! It's all over for Panther!!!!

VJ: He landed right on the chest of Panther and Sniper makes the cover…1…2…kickout by Panther! Sniper and Maria can't believe it. Trish has been somewhat biased towards Panther in this match and that's only cuz she hates Sniper!

HBK: I don't know about that.

VJ: What's that supposed to mean? Sniper picks up Panther…he drives him across the knee with a backbreaker!!! And again! Sniper is holding Panther on that knee! Trish and Maria are both there to see if Panther gives up. Now Sniper breaks the hold! He's looking over at you, Shawn…

Sniper: This is for you, HBK!!!!!

VJ: What's that supposed to mean?

DD: Well, it means that despite the fact that he's an inbred, Texas redneck jerk, Sniper is kind enough to dedicate this victory to the Heartbreak Kid!

VJ: He has Panther's legs…he's going for the Sharpshooter!!! Is that what…

HBK: Oh hell no! Not like this! (Michaels throws his headset down and runs into the ring)

DD: Can't that boy sit his ass in a chair for 5 damn minutes?! What an alcoholic!

VJ: Sniper has Panther turned over…there's the Sharpshooter!!!

DD: Ring the bell, ring the bell, ring the--What the hell was that?!

VJ: Michaels just nailed Maria with Sweet Chin Music!!! I think Maria was gonna ring the bell Vince McMahon-style but HBK saw it coming!!! Sniper broke the hold and he comes up behind Michaels…boot to the midsection of HBK…Sniper Bomb!!!!! Shawn Michaels has been put down by the Sniper!!!!

DD: YES!!!!!! I love it Vince! This is the greatest moment in the history of our sport.

VJ: You are addicted to that line! (Dave lights a blunt up and smokes it) Sweet Baby Francis. Sniper is confident that he has this one wrapped up…he just grabbed Trish by the hair!

DD: Oh yeah! She wants to help out Panther, well let her get treated like Panther!

VJ: Sniper is gonna give Trish the Sniper Bomb…Panther is back up…he hooks Sniper from behind…DRAGON SUPLEX!!!!!! No bridge, all impact by Panther!!!!

DD: Get up, Sniper!!!!!

VJ: Sniper got dumped right on the back of his head and Panther lifts him back up…he tries for the Panther Cutter but gets shoved into the ropes…Sniper catches Panther and tries for a Sniper Driver…Trish just low blowed Sniper!!!!!

DD: NOOOOOOO!!!!!

VJ: Trish just hit Sniper with a low blow…Panther with a boot to the midsection of Sniper…DA BOMB!!!!!!!! Right in the center of the ring! He hooks the leg…1…2…3!!!!!!! Panther is in control again!!!!!!!!!

DD: No, Panther didn't win this match, Panther and Trish and that damn Shawn Michaels won this match!

VJ: Trish has just caused Sniper to lose this match…and Trish is running back to the locker room! Sniper got dumped on the back of his head, he is out cold and for the 1^st time since Overkill, Panther is in control of the NFWA!!!!

DD: NOOO!!

VJ: Panther is in the ring celebrating with Chyna…

DD: This is great! 1^st Panther wins then we get a blackout!

VJ: What's going on here?!

DD: What the Hell…it's HANSON!!!!!!!

VJ: That's not Hanson!!!!!! That's Kurt Angle and Scarlet KV and they're doing a number on Panther and Chyna in the ring! Panther has just defeated Sniper, and now he and Chyna have to fight these 2 off! What's the meaning of this?!

DD: It's called justice!!!!

VJ: It's sickening! Angle is holding Panther so that KV can stab him with that hand blade…OH! Chyna with a low blow on KV…Panther with 1 on Kurt and he nails Scarlet with a clothesline!!!! Angle attacks Panther from behind and those 2 are trading blows…

DD: Oh no!!! Not Sparky again!

VJ: Lightning is out here and he wants some of Kurt Angle before the World Title match! He's not waiting until the Cage!!!! Lightning grabs a Chair and he's gonna get some of Angle…son of a bitch Lightning just hit Panther with that chair!!!!!! Lightning just hit Panther…he grabs Chyna and hits her with the Lightning Bolt!!!!!

DD: HAHAHAHA!!!!!

VJ: Why did Lightning do that?!

DD: Well didn't Panther attack him with a chair in the back?!

VJ: Oh no…Lightning has just attacked Panther and Chyna and left them lying in the ring. Panther needs some help out here…

VJ: It's the Elites!!!!!

DD: Oh no!!!! Run Kurt! Run!!!!

VJ: The Elites just appeared in the aisle! They mean business!!! Killa and Demp run down to the ring…Angle and Scarlet KV just backed up! Look at the fear in their faces! Thank God the Elites are here to…good God what the F*CK is going on?! Flowing DDT on Panther by Demp!!!!!! Angle, Killa, Demp and KV are stomping Panther!!! What the hell is going on!!!!

DD: it's a miracle! The Elites have seen the light!!!!

VJ: Brian Demp is out to the ring and he's smiling! Killa picks up Chyna…he drives her to the mat with the Takeover!!!! Lightning has left, Sniper has left and I don't think he would help anyway, Michaels is still down after that Sniper Bomb. Panther and Chyna are being assaulted by these jackasses…

DD: Hey…watch your mouth before I come over there and assault you!

VJ: Panther is bleeding from the mouth and from the forehead after that attack and now Killa and Demp are holding Panther up. What are they gonna do to him now?

DD: Oh my God…Mad Dog really is coming back from the dead this time!!!

VJ: Shut up!!!!

DD: Vince…who the hell is that?!

VJ: I don't…is that Firestorm?????! Oh my God…FIRESTORM IS BACK!!!!!! I thought he was dead!!!!!! Look at that look on Panther's face!!!

DD: This is gonna be good now!!!!!!!

VJ: OH GOD!!!! Firestorm just nailed Panther in the head with a blow torch tank!!!! Firestorm is trying to get revenge on Panther from killing…

DD: He obviously didn't kill him, Vince!

VJ: Firestorm grabs Panther by the throat…he pulls him off the canvas like a rag doll and lifts him high into the air…OH!!!!!! He chokeslammed Panther right through the mat!!!!!! He damn near killed Panther!!!! Firestorm reaches into the hole and pulls Panther out…

DD: Chokeslam him again!!!!!

VJ: Firestorm lifts Panther back out…OH!!!! He chokeslams him over the top rope and to the floor!!! He may have just snapped Panther's neck there!!!!! And Kurt Angle tosses Panther back into the ring…Firestorm just lit that blow torch. He's gonna try to burn Panther to the ground! Get some help out here!

DD: Burn him up!!! Light him on fire!!!!!

VJ: We've got members of the Discipline Committee and other officials out here to try to get Firestorm out of here…the Elites are attacking the Discipline Committee!!! Firestorm is getting closer to Panther with that blow torch…Chyna pulls Panther out of the ring!!!!!

DD: Somebody get her!

VJ: Chyna is carrying Panther out of here…they're escaping through the crowd! Thank God…

DD: Yeah, thank God Firestorm is alive and he's stronger than ever!!!!!

VJ: He's crazier than ever…and what's his relationship with the Elites?! Ladies and gentlemen, the main event is up next! Double Jeopardy World Title match! 2 rings, 2 cages…4 titles, let's show you the history between these men!!!!!

Posidin: I said…'Hey Pal…you crossed my side of the line'!!! And he said 'Oh yeah, what are you gonna do about it'?! So I said 'Hey…screw you…PAL!!!!!!!!' And he fell down the steps! I'll tell ya Darkness (takes a sip of Jack) if there's anything I can't stand (takes another sip of Jack) It's…(takes another sip of Jack) a…(takes a big gulp of Jack) a DRUNK!!!!!

DD: What the hell?!

VJ: Blade just came out of nowhere and bashed Posidin in the head with that bar stool! Darkness is sreaming…Blade has Posidin and he drags him on top of a table…there's the saw blade on Posidin!!!!! Posidin has been attacked by Blade!!!!!

DD: Geez…the bookers are really slipping on their writing this week.

VJ: Ladies and gentlemen..here we go! This is gonna be a battle for the ages…

DD: What the hell is going on?

VJ: We've got more Lightning troubles…

VJ: It couldn't be!!!!!!

DD: Do you know who's music that is, Vince???!

DD: Oh my God, Vince…it's him!!! Crazy Lou is here!!!!! Crazy Lou is here!!!!

VJ: that settles it!!!Crazy Lou must be the masked man!!!! In any moment Lou is gonna step out of that car and reveal himself to the World! He is back in the NFWA…Lightning is headed out of the cage to get at Lou and Krazed attacks him from behind!!! Krazed is assaulting Lightning in that cage…Lightning fires back with a right hand!!! There's another! Krazed is reeling…Lightning hits off the ropes and Krazed ducks a clothesline…Lightning blasts him with a flying shoulderblock and Krazed hits the ground hard!!!!

DD: Why isn't Lou getting out of the car?! This isn't a drive-in, you know!

VJ: Lou is at ringside…I can't believe it! Back in Cage 1 Downcast has Angle backed to the buckle…1…2…3…4…5…6…7…8…9…10 punches right to the head!!!!! Angle has been rocked by Mr. NFWA…Downcast hits off the ropes…OH!!!! He went for a spear but Angle side stepped him and Downcast crashed headfirst into the steel!!!! Downcast may have been opened up right there!

DD: Watch Kurt! He's gonna show you why he's the Olympic Bad Ass!!!

VJ: Angle has Downcast by the hair…OH!! He tosses him hard into the steel!!!!! And again!!!! Kurt Angle…he's grating Downcast's face on that steel cage!!!!! Downcast is bleeding like a horse!

DD: Like a horse?! I don't even wanna know! Knowing you crazy Canadians you're always up to no good!

VJ: What are you talking about?! Back in Lightning's cage, Krazed and Lightning are both climbing the cage…

DD: Can you win this match by escaping?

VJ: No. They're just climbing it! Lightning nails Krazed with a right hand…Krazed nails Lightning with one…Lightning fires back on Krazed!!!! We've got these 2 magnificent athletes brawling on the steel cage…Lightning slams Krazed into the steel…elbow to the throat by Lightning…OH!!! Krazed dropped!!!!! Krazed dropped and straddled the top rope!!!!

DD: Oh no!!!! Get up Krazed!!!

VJ: Krazed just suffered a bad landing at the hands of Lightning!!!! Lightning is climbing up to the top of the cage…

DD: What is that idiot gonna do now?!

VJ: Lightning is climbing to the top of the cage…Krazed is down in the center of the ring and Lightning…Lightning is gonna fly!!!!!

DD: NO!!!! He can't do that!!!

VJ: Lightning is about 15 ft in the air…OH!!!!!!! ELBOW DROP FROM THE TOP OF THE CAGE BY LIGHTNING!!!!!!!! He dropped that elbow right into the sternum of Krazed!!! Krazed may be shattered to pieces…Lightning is hurt as well!!!! Referee Jim Jonathan is checking on Lightning to see if he's ok…

DD: What about Krazed, you insensitive bafoon!

VJ: Krazed and Lightning are down in ring 2. Back in ring 1 we have Downcast bleeding…

DD: Like a horse?

VJ: You've got it! Angle has Downcast in the buckle and he's putting the boots to him. Angle barely escaped the match with Shark with the I-C Title so you know he's hurting, but he seems to be doing ok against Downcast…Angle whips Downcast across the ring and sends him crashing hard into the steel cage…Angle off the ropes nails Downcast with a swinging neckbreaker!!!!! He hooks the leg…1…2…kickout by Downcast! Angle has Downcast by the hair…he's hammering away at that cut in Downcast's head! He's trying to make him bleed even more!

DD: The Olympic Bad Ass smells blood!

VJ: How many times are you gonna say the Olympic Bad Ass in 1 show?!

DD: It's a cool name?!

VJ: Why don't you just marry Angle is you like it so much! You can become Mrs. Bad Ass!

DD: Not without a pre-nupt!

VJ: Uh…ok. Angle has Downcast up and he locks him in a sleeper…he's trying to restrict the blood flow to the head of Angle…

DD: Look Vince! It's Shark and Stacey!!!!!

VJ: Shark and Stacey Blitch are on their way out here right now! They walk past Lou's Viper and..what are they up to? Back in Cage 2, Lightning whips Krazed to the buckle…Lightning charges in…OH! Krazed caught Lightning coming in with a big boot! Boot to the midsection by Krazed…running powerbomb!!! He planted Lightning in the center of the ring…1…2…kickout by Lightning!!!! Krazed has the World Champion in trouble!!! He picks up Lightning…he's got him by the throat…

DD: Bye bye Lightning!!!!!

VJ: Chokeslam by Krazed!!!!! Krazed dumped Lightning right on the back of his head! Back in Cage 1, Downcast has been put out thanks to that sleeper by Kurt Angle. The ref is checking his arms…it drops once!!!!

DD: HAHA! Downcast is Down and Out!!!!

VJ: He checks the arm again…it drops twice!!!! If it drops 1 more time then Kurt Angle will advance! The referee checks it a 3^rd time…it dr…it stays up!!!!! Downcast's arm stays up!!!!

DD: It dropped! Ring the bell! Downcast lost!!!

VJ: This crowd is rallying behind Downcast…he's back to his feet…Angle is trying to put more pressure on the sleeper...Downcast lifts him up for a back suplex…OH!!! He drives the back of Angle's head into the cage and he suplexes him hard to the canvas!!!! Downcast has just put Kurt Angle down…and now Kurt is bleeding!

DD: No, no, no!!!!!

VJ: Downcast picks Angle up…boot to the midsection…sit down powerbomb on Angle! 1…2…kickout by Kurt!! How close can you get?!

DD: Not as close as that! Get him Angle!

VJ: Back in ring 2 Lightning has been getting mauled by Krazed…and now the Toughman Champion is signaling for the end! He has Lightning up over his shoulder for the tombstone…Lightning wiggles free! He shoves Krazed to the ropes…Lightning has him up over his shoulders for a Lightning Rod…Krazed manages to wiggle free…Lightning tries for a clothesline but misses…Krazed caught him with the Supernova!!!!!!! Krazed has just planted Lightning!!!!!

DD: It's all over, Vince! We've got a new World Champion!

VJ: Krazed is gloating…he puts 1 foot across the chest of Lightning…1…2…Lightning got the shoulder up!!!!!

DD: No Way!!!

VJ: Lightning kicked out after the Supernova and Krazed can't believe it! Back in ring 1 Downcast is beating the hell out of Angle…Angle is trying to run!!! Angle is climbing the cage…Downcast is climbing up after him!

DD: Angle isn't trying to run! He fears no one!

VJ: Angle is climbing the cage and Downcast is after him…in the other ring we have Krazed climbing the cage!!! Krazed just said he's gonna get revenge from that elbow drop by Lightning earlier!!!!

DD: He's gonna drive Lightning through the mat!

VJ: Krazed is climbing to the top of the cage…he's at the top at the same time as Angle! Angle and Krazed are both on top of their cages and they're having some heated words…OH!! Krazed hit Angle!!!! Angle is staggered!!!!!

DD: Don't fall, Kurt! Hold on!!!

VJ: Angle fires back with a right hand that staggers Krazed…Angle with another shot and Krazed…Krazed is gonna fall off of that cage!!!

DD: Look out below!!!!

VJ: KRAZED FALLS 15 FT OFF THE CAGE AND LANDS FACE FIRST ON THE MAT!!!!!

DD: He smashed his face! He had to!!!

VJ: Angle is standing atop the cage and Downcast is right behind him! Both Downcast and Angle are on top of their cage and they're slugging it out!!! We've got a fist fight 15 ft above ring…and Downcast is winning!

DD: he is not! Kick him in the nuts, Angle!

VJ: Downcast grabs Angle by the hair…he wouldn't! Not Total Dispear off the cage!!!

DD: Oh my God!!! Disqualify him, ref!!!

VJ: Downcast is going for Total Dispear off the cage on Angle…Angle with a low blow!!!! Angle just low blowed Downcast…OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!! HE JUST GAVE DOWNCAST A BACK BODY DROP OFF OF THE CAGE AND HE CRASHES HARD TO THE MAT!!!!!!! Lightning, Krazed and Downcast all look like they've been in a car wreck and now only Angle remains standing!

DD: That's why he's the X-Treme-Continental Champion!!!! You like that one, don't you?!

VJ: Not really. Angle is standing on the cage…he isn't that stupid!!!

DD: Well never count good old Kurt out!

VJ: Angle is gonna…OH MY GOD!!!!!! MOONSAULT OFF THE CAGE BY ANGLE!!!! Angle landed right on Downcast's head! Downcast is out and Angle is hurt! Everybody in this match is down!!!

DD: This match is brutal! I love it!

VJ: You would, you barbarian! Every man is down…and why is Shark climbing the 1^st Cage?!

DD: He's gone crazy!!!!

VJ: Shark is climbing the cage…Angle is getting back to his feet…he's about ready to cover Downcast but watch Shark…Shark Attack from the top of the cage on Angle!!!!!!!

DD: WHAT???!

VJ: Shark damn near decapitated Kurt Angle with the Shark Attack!!!

DD: That's a DQ!!!!!

VJ: It's no DQ in a cage match! Shark has just laid out Angle for the 2^nd time tonight and there's nothing anybody can do about it!

DD: I can bust a cap in his ass!

VJ: Stop it! Al Gore unlocks the cage door and Shark calmly walks out…

DD: this isn’t fair! Somebody do something!!!

VJ: Downcast is back to his feet and he hooks Angle's arms…he's going for it…TOTAL DISPEAR!!!!!!!!!! TOTAL DISPEAR ON ANGLE!!!!! Downcast hooks the leg…1…2…3!!!!!

DD: No!!!!

VJ: Kurt Angle is gone, and that means the I-C and X-Treme Titles belong to Downcast!!!!!

DD: What a cheater Downcast is! You know that wasn't fair!!!!

VJ: We're down to Krazed and Lightning in the 2^nd Cage…Krazed hasn't moved since falling from the top of the cage and Lightning has barely moved since the supernova! Lightning is trying to crawl over to Krazed to make the cover…here it is…1…2…thr…no!!! Krazed kickout out!!!!!

DD: He did!

VJ: Shark has a chair…he's going into the 2^nd cage now!

DD: Somebody get his guppy swallowing ass out of here! He's caused enough trouble tonight!

VJ: Shark just climbed into the 2^nd cage with that chair…Lightning dropkicks the chair into his face and Shark flies to the outside!!!! Lightning has that chair…Krazed is back up and boots it into Lightning's face!!!

DD: yeah! Go GOAT!

VJ: Krazed has Lightning set up for a powerbomb…Lightning back body drops Krazed!!!! Krazed is back to his feet now…he tries to clothesline Lightning and missed…Lightning from behind…German Suplex…OH!!! But Lightning's head bounced right off of that steel chair that was on the mat!

DD: He knocked himself out, Vince!

VJ: The referee makes the count but both Lightning and Krazed's shoulders are down…1…2…3!!!!!

DD: That was a double pin!!!!! They pinned each other!!!

VJ: Oh man. Well it was supposed to be that the winner of the 2 cages go on to fight for their careers in the final cage match…but we've got 2 losers here! What happens then?

DD: I say we strip Downcast of his career and give the belt to Krazed!

VJ: That's ridiculous!

VJ: Both Krazed and Lightning are out cold and the referee hasn't made a decision yet!

DD: Trish is out here!

VJ: Trish Stratus is at ringside and she's having a word with the ring announcer…what's gonna happen here?

VJ: Oh my God!!! What a match that is!

DD: Look at Downcast!! He's loving this!

VJ: Downcast runs over to the 2^nd cage where both Krazed and Lightning are out cold! He told Trish to ring the bell…

VJ: Downcast with a cover on Lightning…1…2…3!!!! Lightning is gone!!! We have a new…

DD: You non-mathematical moron!!!! It's was only a 2!!!!!! Lightning got a shoulder up!!!!

VJ: Downcast knew he had the pin! I just knew this match was over!!!! Downcast picks Lightning up…he's hammering away with right hands to the head…Irish whip sends Lightning to the ropes…Downcast takes him over with a spinebuster!!!!!! Downcast hooks Lightning's leg…1…2…kickout by Lightning again!

DD: Downcast can smell blood! Then again, with the size of his nose after Angle landed on it he can smell a lot of other things too!

VJ: Stop the pain!

DD: that's what Lightning is saying now!

VJ: Downcast is stomping away to the ribs of Lightning! Lightning is back up…Downcast sets him on the top rope…

DD: Here we go Vince! New Champion!!!!!

VJ: Downcast with a Superplex off the top on Lightning!! Once again Lightning bounced off of that steel chair!!! But can Downcast capitalize and make the pin!!! He's hurt too…1 arm across the chest of Lightning…1…2…thr…no!!!! Lightning barely gets the shoulder up again!!!! Downcast looks frustrated!!!

DD: Frustrated?! He's pissed off!

VJ: Downcast picks up Lightning…he's going for Total Dispear!!!! Downcast is going for Total Dispear…Total Dispear on the steel chair!!!!!!! Lightning is done…Krazed has Downcast the throat…chokeslam on Downcast!!!!! Krazed covers Lightning…we've got a new Champion!!!!

DD: Lightning is gone!

VJ: 1…2…OH SWEET JESUS HE KICKED OUT!!!!!! How did Lightning kick out after Total Dispear?!

DD: I have no clue!!!

VJ: Downcast is back up and he's brawling with Krazed…Downcast is going for Total Dispear on Krazed but gets nailed with a cheap shot to the groin!!!

DD: yeah!

VJ: Krazed grabs Downcast by the hair and tosses him hard into the steel…Krazed with a boot to the midsection followed up by the #1 Stunna!!!!! Downcast is down…Lightning is back up…Lightning Bolt on Krazed!!!!!! Krazed has been nailed with the Lightning Bolt…Lightning rolls into the cover…1…2…3!!!!!!

VJ: Lightning has done it!!!!!!

DD: Krazed has lost his career!!!!

VJ: Lightning has retained the World Title belt and Downcast will walk out with the I-C and X-Treme Titles!

DD: What kind of crooked booker is Trish Stratus?! Downcast lost this match without being pinned!!!!

VJ: That's gotta be a hard pill to swallow for Downcast! Lightning stole the win right out from under his nose!!!! Look at that look on Downcast's face! He's pissed off!

DD: I would be too! You were robbed, Downcast! Beat Lightning's ass…no! beat Trish's ass!

VJ: Downcast is headed back to the locker room with his new belts…Lightning has a mic now as the cages raise back to the rafters!!!

Lightning: For the past few weeks I have been the uncrowned NFWA champion, cause you see I won that damn title fair and square from Killa and every since then I have not had the chance to come out for 1 week and carry that damn title around my waist, cause some unknown jackass decided that they would take what I have worked so hard for the past few months on winning....Now this past week it came clear who the suspect was behind this hole scheme...Kurtis and Downcast pretty much gave the man away...and when you put 2 and 2 together it all does add up in the end...So I know that the son of a bitch who put me threw all this hell the past few weeks is in the back..so to that man I dont care who it is, wether it be Panther, wether it be Sniper, or even the son of a bitch named Crazy Lou, get your ass out here and step forward and be man....I dont have a chair I dont have a gun I have nothing but this microphone and My foot ready to go up your ass, so being the cowardly son of a bitch that you are, get your ass down to this ring right now and fight like a man, so I can beat your ass 1..2..3..and be on my way.

VJ: Well Crazy Lou's car is still sitting in the aisle but Lou hasn't gotten out!

DD: Well he's better! Lightning just threw down his punk card!

VJ: Wait a minute! Firestorm is back out here…KV is with him and so are the Elites! Was Firestorm the masked man?

DD: I don't know. The masked man looked a little smaller before!

VJ: Earlier tonight, Firestorm and these guys damn near beat Panther to death and tried to burn him, and now they're coming for Lightning! Killa is in the ring and he's in Lightning's face…Killa just said he wants the World title!

DD: uh oh! You remember what went down between these 2 on FNS!

VJ: Killa is in Lightning's face…OH!! Killa hit Lightning with a right hand…Lightning and Killa are brawling in the center of the ring…Lightning is getting the upper hand…Demp and Angle hit the ring and they're doing a number on Lightning now!!! We've got an assault…

DD: Hey Vince…I think I just figured it out! The Elites are the newest members of Firestorm's Legion of Destruction!!!!!

VJ: No!! It can't be!!!! The L.o.D. is back and they're putting a hurting on…

DD: Now what?! Is this the masked man?!

DD: Firestorm…it's that idiot Mad Professor!!

VJ: Mad Professor is standing behind…ICE BREAKER!!!!!!!! He just gave Firestorm the ice Breaker and the big man goes down!!!!! That's…that's Ice Cube!!!! The Mad Professor is Ice Cube!!!!!

DD: no! He's dead!!!

VJ: Ice Cube is alive!!!!! He's alive, damn it!!!! He's alive and he's beating the hell out of his brother!!!!! Scarlet KV is hammering away on Ice Cube…here comes Rage from the locker room…Rage takes him out with a big clothesline!!! Rage and KV are going at it…Ice Cube hits the ring and he nails Demp with an Ice Breaker!!! Killa clotheslines Ice Cube from behind…Diamond is in the ring and she nailed Angle with a low blow!!!

DD: I don't like this, Vince!!! I don't like it at all!!!

VJ: Killa is in the ring all alone…Lightning catches him with a boot to the stomach…Lightning Bolt!!!!!!! Killa just felt the Lightning Bolt!!! The Legion of Destruction has been laid out…Rage, Ice Cube and Diamond are all in the ring and Lightning just tossed them t-shirts…

DD: Wait a minute…Generation X-treme!!!!!!!

VJ: Generation X-treme is here in the NFWA!!! My God!!! The Legion of Destruction has returned here tonight, but Generation X-Treme looks like they're gonna give them some competition!

DD: What do you think Panther thinks about this?!

VJ: I don't know. Hopefully Panther is getting medical treatment after that attack from Firestorm and Company Earlier in the night! Crazy Lou still hasn't…

VJ: Well I was ready to go off the air but it looks like we're not done yet!!! Crazy Lou IS the Masked man! There's the proof right there…and Lightning just told Lou to Bring it!!! He's sending GX to the back…it's gonna be 1 on 1! Man to man…it's gonna be Lightning and Lou!!! Lou hits the ring and there they go!!!!

DD: Listen to this crowd!!!

VJ: Lightning with a right hand just knocked the title belt out of the hands of Lou!!! Lightning is getting the upper hand with right hands to Lou…

DD: Why won't Lou take the mask off!!!

VJ: Lightning tries for the Lightning Bolt but Lou shoves him to the ropes…SUPERKICK by Lou catches Lightning right on the jaw!!! Lightning is out!!!!!! Lightning is out…wait a minute…Lou just pulled out a sledgehammer…OH!!! Shot right to the ribs of Lightning!

DD: He's gonna put Lightning on the shelf just like he did to the Professional!!!

VJ: Sledgehammer shot to the knee of Lightning!! Another one!!!! Crazy Lou is trying to snap Lightning's knee!!! He just climbed to the 2^nd rope with that sledgehammer…he's gonna break Lightning's leg!!!!

DD: Do it!! Do it!!

VJ: Ice Cube and Rage are back out here and the masked man rolls out of the ring like a coward!! I can't believe…

DD: Wait a minute…he's taking off the mask…OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!

VJ and DD: IT'S SQUIRREL!!!!!!!!!

VJ: That's not Crazy Lou…that's Squirrel!!! Squirrel is back in the NFWA!!!!!! My God..why did he do that?! Why did Squirrel attack the Professional???! Why did he attack Lightning?!!! What the hell is going on???! I can't believe this! So long from Fresno, folks!!!!!