DD: Yeah, Vince. See, normally I would go with Alyssa seeing as how she's always had a thing for me, but I dunno about this one, Vince. I mean, I've been checking out Dark, and she's looking pretty damn impressive! She's in Black Blood for a reason!

VJ: No doubt! This one has the potential to be without a doubt the greatest Women's Championship match in history!

DD: Yeah, and ya know what makes it even greater?!

VJ: What?

DD: Well my sources say that if Diamond loses this match...she might retire!! HAHA!! Oh Vince, that would be the greatest...I can't wait!

VJ: You would be happy about that. Also folks, we've got a War Zone Match. NFWA X-Treme Title on the line as Psyko Stevo defends against longtime rival Kaos! This one dates back to December when Stevo actually defeated Kaos to win the title, with the help of Black Blood. There's been a lotta bad blood between Black Blood and Too Xtreme in recent weeks, and I don't have a doubt that a lotta that blood could be spilled here tonight.

DD: Yeah, Vince, but I can't understand why the hell these 2 groups insist on fighting each other. I mean...you've got the near-perfect Black Blood...semi-perfect Too Xtreme! Together they're unstoppable! C'mon guys!

VJ: Well I know you're gonna be split down the middle in that one, as well as the Main Event. The Universal Title will be on the line in a Best of the Best match! It's 2/3 falls, T Money defends against Rick Bruiser!!! Once again, the Black Blood/Too Xtreme rivalry reaches another level, and folks, the fact that Bruiser made T Money tap right in the middle of the ring Friday night in my opinion shifts the advantage to Bruiser's favor!

DD: Whoa, whoa! 1^st off, I could give a yak's ass what you're opinion is! Now I'm a Rick Bruiser fan, but c'mon! How can you call that a tap out?! It wasn't even a match...

VJ: T Money put his hand on the mat, and he tapped, Dave! He was tapping like a drunk man!

DD: Well Bruiser must be drunk if he thinks he can be T Money that easily! I like both of em...aww! You just wait, Vince!

VJ: All...

VJ: Ladies...

DD: What the hell's this, Johnson?

VJ: I...I dunno. Folks...that was unusual. Let's take you down to ringside for our OPENING CONTEST!!!!!!

DD: Well, nothing besides the fact that watching this guy wrestle makes me sick to my stomach. I mean seriously, Vince…this guy sucks!

VJ: Well, we'll see how he does against the former TV Champion as they tie it up in the center of the ring! Both these men are Light Heavyweights, although Staks is better known for his brawling style…OH!!!! Big chop to the chest by Pain…STAKS YANKS HIM DOWN TO THE CANVAS BY THE HAIR!!! Staks…goes for an elbow drop, but Pain able to roll out of the way. Both men up quickly…OH!!!! Big Dropkick by Pain sends Staks hard to the mat!!! AND ANOTHER ONE!!!! Max Pain…A 3^RD SENDS STAKS FLYING TO THE OUTSIDE OF THE RING, and the True Thug is in some real trouble here, Dave!!!

DD: This damn Staks. Now there was actually a time way back when that I had a little respect for this idiot…but if he loses to this nobody Max Pain…we might hafta run him outta the fed!

VJ: Stop it. Staks seems more shocked than hurt by the early offensive onslaught of Pain. Max Pain…his PPV debut, definitely looking to open up a few EYES!!!!! CROSS BODY OVER THE TOP ROPE CATCHES STAKS NAPPING ON THE OUTSIDE!!! And look at Pain go! Hammering away! Right hands! Right to the head of the former TV Champion! And Staks is reeling, Dave! Staks is in some trouble! Pain tosses him back into the ring…and it looks like he's headed for the top! Max Pain…climbing the rungs…

DD: Um…Staks…LOOK OUT!!!!

VJ: AND HIGH CROSS BODY!!! OFF THE TOP ROPE!!!! STAKS IS DOWN…2…AND JUST BARELY ABLE TO GET THE SHOULDER UP BEFORE 3!!!! Oh my goodness. Staks back to his feet, and stumbles into an armdrag takedown!!!!! Pain locks up an armbar…obviously setting up Staks for the dreaded Painkiller submission hold!

DD: Yeah…and if we're lucky, that move'll live up to its name and this idiot Pain will actually die in the ring tonight. Wouldn't that be great?

VJ: Will you be nice? Staks trying to fight this hold. Fighting back to his feet now…Max Pain…winds up on the arm again..and Staks writhing in pain!!! What an outstanding, competitive contest to open up this card. Max Pain setting out to make a name for himself, Staks looking for that extra spark needed to propel his career to World Title status…AND LISTEN TO STAKS SCREAM!!!! MAX PAIN WINDS UP ON THAT ARMBAR ONCE AGAIN!!!

DD: Me may try to rip that arm off and sell it on ebay…OOOH!!!

VJ: OH!! Big right hand by Staks catches him right on the bridge of the nose, and the hold is broken!!! Max Pain…ANOTHER HARD RIGHT HAND SENDS HIM STAGGERING INTO THE ROPES!!! Staks now…Irish whip…Staks misses with a clothesline…Max Pain off the other side…AND STAKS BURIES THE KNEE HARD INTO THE GUT!!!!!!!!

DD: HAHA! Looked like a dog hitting a parked car, didn't it?!

VJ: Max Pain…what a shot by Staks, and that may have been just the spark Staks needed!!! Staks going right to work on Max Pain!!! Stomping hard into the midsection!!! And again!!!!! Staks drives the elbow right into the heart!! One more time!!! Staks is feeling it, Dave! He's got Pain now…Irish whip…Staks follows him into the buckle with a clothesline…Staks off the ropes now…BULLDOG DRIVES HIM FACEFIRST INTO THE MAT!!!! Staks with the cover now…1…2…Pain able to kickout after 2!!!! And now, ladies and gentlemen, Staks is firmly in control.

DD: Ya know something, Vince. You mentioned Staks going after the World Title. He can keep dreaming as far as I'm concerned about that, but what about the World Title? I mean, the belt's been vacant for almost a week now. What is Panther gonna do with the title?

VJ: I dunno. Panther yet to arrive here at the Staples Center. We hope to get a word with him a little bit later on regarding the World Title situation. But as of yet, no word from the CEO.

DD: Well personally, I think he should give the belt to me.

VJ: Staks…what?

DD: Yeah. I'd make a good champion.

VJ: Yeah, when pigs fly.

DD: Vince, please leave your momma outta this. This is sposed to be a family show!

VJ: oh please. Staks has had this reverse chinlock locked in for a while now. Max Pain trying to do what he can to combat this hold. What a night this is gonna be, folks. You can just feel the electricity in the air. You've just got the feeling that something big is gonna go down tonight, as Pain gets back to a knee. Max Pain…elbow to the midsection of Staks…another one, and the hold is broken. Max Pain has broken the hold. He hits off the ropes now…Staks misses with a clothesline. Pain off the other side…

DD: HAHA!!!!

VJ: SLEEPER!!!!!! STAKS CAUGHT HIM COMING OFF WITH A SLEEPER!

DD: Well, this ain't a Painkiller but…HEY!!!!!

VJ: OH!!! JAWBREAKER!!!!!!! Max Pain with a jawbreaker, just rocked Staks' world!!! Staks is reeling, ladies and gentlemen!

DD: Staks…you idiot, stay on him! Stay on him!

VJ: Max Pain back to his feet…

DD: Look out…

VJ: HURACANRANA!!!!!!!!! STAKS GOES UP AND OVER…THE LEGS ARE HOOKED…1…2…HE GOT--NO!!!

DD: Nothing! He got NOTHIN!!!!!

VJ: Staks barely able to kickout before the 3, and Pain can't believe it! Now is the time for Max Pain! Now is the time for him to try and pull this thing out…right hand catches Staks right on the jaw!!! And another one!!! Irish whip now, reversal by Staks sends Pain into the ropes once again! Staks misses with another clothesline…Pain slides through the legs…Staks…OH!!!!!! ENZUIGIRI BY MAX PAIN!!!!!! Staks just knocked for a loop! There's the cover…1…2…STAKS JUST ABLE TO KICKOUT!!!!! Man, what a match this has turned out to be!

DD: Yeah, this idiot Staks getting the sh*t kicked into him by a nobody! C'mon, damn it, for the sake of the NFWA, you cannot lose!

VJ: This was the same man who jumped to the GNL during that whole situation last year.

DD: Huh…well…for the sake of ya momma's drawers, you cannot lose! C'mon Staks!

VJ: You're hideous! Pain backs Staks into the buckle…AND A HARD CHOP LIGHTS UP HIS CHEST!!! And another one! Pain…Pain setting Staks up on top! We could be getting ready to see a superplex here. We could be…yes, I think it is! Dave, if Max Pain hits this, it'll be all over!

DD: I'm still wondering why the idiot hasn't gone after Staks' arm more! His finisher is…oh!

VJ: Staks with a thumb to the eyes just caught Max Pain. Pain now…Staks…OH!!! OH MY!!!!! Staks with a sunset flip from the top!!!!! Max Pain…Staks trying to bring him down off the ropes! He's got that top turnbuckle clutched!!!

DD: He's holding on for dear life! Ohh!

VJ: Boot right to the face of Staks! The former TV Champ is reeling now, and watch Pain! Pain up on top! Staks doesn't even see him coming! Staks…OH!!! MOONSAULT MISSES!!!

DD: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Did you see that, Johnson?!

VJ: Max Pain took a big chance, and it didn't pay off! Staks has him by the hair now…THUG PLEX!!!! FORGET ABOUT IT!!! 1…2…3!!!!!

VJ: Well Staks picks up the duke in the opening contest of Total Annihilation. Pain seemed to have it all going his way, but one mistake can cost you dearly when you're in there with the likes of Staks!

DD: Yeah…now if only that skankhole will realize the mistake he's made and get a new job. Wouldn't Pain make a great paperboy?

VJ: (Rolls eyes) Congrats to Staks on the victory.

Diamond: Amy?

AD: yeah?

Diamond: Do you have a point?

AD: Yeah. Because tonight, you face perhaps the greatest challenge in your career when you defend you Championship against 4 other women. Your good friend, Sabrina Wilson, Alyssa Sanders, Darkest Desires, and newcomer Pandora. Now…I'm not Kevin Taylor, but I've gotta say that I've heard a lotta rumors going around about you, and how you may consider retiring if you indeed lose this match? Is that true?

Diamond: Well first off, Amy, as far as me losing is concerned, I won't lose. So that's out of the question. And as far as me retiring…I dunno where…

Diamond: Hey. What's wrong?

Firestorm: Panther!!! Something happened to Panther in the par…

Diamond: WHAT?!

Firestorm: I dunno…in the parking lot! Come quick!

VJ: Well, fans…

DD: Did he say something happened to Panther?

VJ: Well…apparently. Uh…Diamond…Diamond scheduled for that big match-up later on…perhaps the biggest Women's Title match in the history of the NFWA…

DD: Screw Diamond, what happened to Panther?!

VJ: I dunno. Firestorm said it was something in the parking lot. Up next…

Diamond: OH!!! Panther!!! OH MY GOD!!!

DD: What the hell…what happened, Vince?

VJ: I…Panther has been…oh my God. Panther's hurt folks.

DD: no sh*t he's hurt! What happened to him?!

VJ: I'm not sure. I can only speculate that this was…some sort of an attack. Panther…oh no.

DD: Well who attacked him?

VJ: Panther…Diamond is distraught out in the parking lot. Panther…he has been busted wide open out in the parking lot!

DD: that idiot Firestorm! Don't just sit there, skankhole! Go get some help for Panther!!!! Get some help for him!!!

VJ: Ladies and gentlemen…Panther's been hurt terribly. By who or what, we have no idea. Diamond and Firestorm out there, and finally, we've got some EMT's out there coming to the aid of Panther. Dave…who could've done this?

DD: I dunno! Whatcha asking me for?!

VJ: Geez!

VJ: Woulden't that just be a shame... well Venom is ripping off that leather jacket and with it comes his dress shirt sparking a little from the ladies in the crowd.  Venom is just over powering Blake Carter right know!  Carter with a shot to Venom in a spot where the sun don't shine...

DD: Alaska!?

VJ: No Dave, not Alaska.  Venom did not appear that hurt by the shot. Venom know tossing Blake into the ring post, and ow! He just ran full speed into Carter!  Venom has Carter up over his head and my god look at the strength as he throws "Bad Guy" Blake Carter to the outside!

DD: Come on Blake! Get up!

VJ: Well now Venom is comming out here to continue this beating! Oh, Carter rakes the eyes of the big man, Venom!  Carter now scuries into the ring.  Carter takes a look at Venom who is still realing on the outside and he is going to the top rope.  What is he going to do? No! Oh my god! Oh my god!!  Carter came from the top rope and grabed the head of Venom and bulldoged him right through our table!

DD: He has derailed the Giant! The man none as Venom is down and out! 

VJ: Venom is just starting to move a good minute after he was put through our table and the only reason he is still in this match is Carter has been stoping the count out by going in and out of the ring, he wants to punish the big man even more.  Venom finally is up and staggers into the ring.  Venom walks right into a big right hand by Carter, and another, and another!  The big man is about to fall but the ropes save him!  Carter going to try to closeline the big man over the top rope, but wait!  Venom tossed Carter right over the top rope! 

DD: Damn him, he made Carter think he was hurt!

VJ: I think he is really hurt, but reached really deep for that one!  Carter has just placed a chair on the ring apporn!  Carter has the chair and he goes to hit Venom but Venom sticks his Giant hand up and stops it!  Venom just head butted the chair right back into the head of Carter!

DD: Come on ref! Disqualify his ass!

VJ: Venom has him and kick to the midsection, he has him set up for a big, and I meen Big power bomb!  Oh god, he hit it!  Carter is motionless!  Here is the cover... 1,2, kick out!  Carter must have reached deep for that one because he is obvosly really badley hurting .  Venom is just really, well...really pissed!  He is swining his hands all over the place just trying to figure out how Blake Carter kicked out, oh my god!  Venom just unintentionally clobbered the referee!  He is down and not moving!  Venom know cheaking on the referee and my god! From behind a chair shot by "Bad Guy" Blake Carter!  Venom just turns around like nothing happened, and Carter is just going into a deffensive mode prettecting his face! 

VJ and DD: What?!

VJ and DD: Huh!?

VJ: The referee heard the chair shot and he saw Venom standing, a chair on the ground and Blake Carter looking very hurt and he thought that it was Carter that got hit by the chair!  Venom pleading his case and no! Don't do it Venom! Venom is very mad and he has the ref set up for a big power bomb!  Carter from behind just assulting Venom with a  chair, again and again and again!  Venom goes down and Carter spits on him and what a cheap victory! Blake Carter is getting out of here before Venom a very angry giant wakes up!

VJ: Well ladies and gentlemen…once again, there's the scene in the parking lot…Panther…we're still not sure…just what happened. This is terrible. Absolutely…my God!

DD: Did they get any word on what the hell happened back there?

VJ: I dunno. From what I'm being told, they think Panther was attacked with a crowbar. Panther…he's a bloody mess back there, and right now he's being taken to the hospital. We hoped to get word from him regarding the World Title situation but now…now that's just not important. What's important is that Panther, the CEO of this company has been injured somehow, and the focus should be getting him the kinda help that he needs)

Diamond: (Crying) YOU BASTARD!!!!!!! (Charges at KV)

Official #1: Diamond, no!

Official #2: (Grabs Diamond) DIAMOND! DAMN IT!! CALM DOWN! DIAMOND!

Diamond: (Screaming at KV) YOU F*CKING ASSHOLE!!!!!! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS!!!! (Struggling) LET ME GO!!!!!

KV: What's going on?

Diamond: YOU DID THIS!!!! YOU PIECE OF SH*T!!! I KNOW YOU…LET ME GO!!!

Official #1: DIAMOND! Please…can somebody get her?!!?

KV: Can somebody tell me what's going on?

Guard: (Approaches KV) Uh…come with us.

KV: Why?

Guard: Just come with us! C'mon.

DD: Excuse me, I thought they were sposed to be staying in their dressing room.

VJ: Will you shut up?

DD: Hell no! They directly ignored the orders of the great Rick Bruiser! They deserve to die!

VJ: SHUT UP!

Jericho: Uhh What the hell are you doing?

Rocker: I was...

Nick: Shut up. Now, I want to know what you were doing buying our shirt.

Rocker: Well...

Justin: Shut up. Keep your mouth shut damn it. Were you going to buy it and throw it away or rip it up?

Rocker: NO I....

NB: Shut up damn it. Say another mother f'n word and this shit is over. And I aint playing bitch. Now, since you are here, we want to confirm one thing. Kaos wasnt the one saying things about your woman...it was us.

Jericho: Yeah and we just came from her locker room and uhhh lets just say she likes me to call her cowgirl.

Rocker: You son of a…

VJ: OH!!!! Rocker just nailed Jericho with a right hand!!! Rocker and Jericho…Bruiser from behind!!! Ladies and gentlemen…

DD: Uh oh! You did it now, Rocker! You did it now!

VJ: Rocker being assaulted in the backstage area!!! This obviously some kinda payback for what happened Friday night on the Sla---OH NO!!!!!!! C'mon!!!! Bruiser and Jericho!!! Nick Bruiser and Justin Jericho back there beating the living hell outta the Rocker…

DD: Well, don't blame them! Rocker's dumb ass was the one who through the 1^st punch!

VJ: Oh no…Bruiser got a 2X4!!! Bruiser…no, don't do that---OOOOOH!!!!!!!!! Right into the ribs of the Rocker!!!! The Rocker has been decimated, folks!

VJ: Well folks…just a chaotic night thus far. Only 2 matches under our belt…Panther, the CEO of the NFWA has been attacked by someone…and Diamond…perhaps the security guards, but Diamond seems to think that Scarlet KV is behind it.

DD: That just goes to show ya how much of an incompetent slut that Diamond is. I mean, Scarlet KV is a man of honor. A man of justice. He would never resort to petty sneak attacks. Especially not on Panther! No way, Vince.

VJ: Well they had a confrontation on the Slam last night. And if I remember right, KV said he was gonna make Panther pay.

DD: He was talking about the new wildlife tax just issued by the IRS last week.

VJ: He was…what wildlife…WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!

DD: Look, KV didn't attack Panther. I know he didn't.

VJ: Well…we give Panther our best wishes. I just hope that he's ok. But fans, up next. It's Kammy Vs Angel! Sister Vs Sister! It's Tables…it's ladders…it's chairs…it's in a Cell…

DD: AND THEY'RE FIGHTING IN SWIMSUITS!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! THIS IS GONNA BE THE GREATEST MATCH IN THE HISTORY OF OUR SPORT!

VJ: (Laughs) Whatever.

VJ: That's…that's one of those guys from earlier. We've got a group of fans sitting in the front row in business suits…

DD: What a horny bastard. He's trying to steal my gig, Johnson!

VJ: This man…ladies and gentlemen, it's one thing to bring your signs to NFWA shows and express yourself, but when you jump the barricade…what the hell is he doing?!

DD: Wait a minute…I don't think?

VJ: is he…he's saying "no!" This guy trying to keep Angel from removing her robe…HEY WAIT JUST A MINUTE!!!

DD: Did you see…OOH HOO HOO!!!! VINCE!!! VINCE!!

VJ: LOW BLOW BY ANGEL!!! THAT MAN JUST TOOK A SWING AT ANGEL…AND HE JUST PAID FOR IT!!! IMPALER ON THE STAGE!!!!!! IMPALER ON THE STAGE!!!! I don't know who the hell these people are…but 1 on em sure as hell just got spiked by Angel up on the stage!!!

DD: Oh my God…Vince…HA! Who the…

VJ: I don't even know.

VJ: Oh…my…

DD: OH MY GOD…VINCE!!! DO YOU SEE…DO…LOOK AT KAMMY!!!!!

VJ: Kammy…I dunno how useful that outfit is for swimming…

DD: F*ck swimming!!! I'd drink her damn bath water!!

VJ: But this isn't about swimsuits! This isn't about looks! This is about a woman who feels she's been betrayed…

DD: Who you shut up?! How can you talk about crap like that when…oh my gosh! Vince…I dunno if I can…

VJ: Wait!!!!! Angel just left the cage!!! Angel…Angel headed up the ramp…

DD: Wait a minute, Vince! She's not ready! Kammy's not ready…OH!!

VJ: SPEAR!!!!! ANGEL JUST SPEARED KAMMY OUT OF THOSE BIG BOOTS OF HERS!!! AND THE FIGHT IS ON!!! THE FIGHT IS ON!!!! DAVE…

VJ: KAMMY AND ANGEL!!! KAMMY AND ANGEL!!!! KAMMY IS BEING ABSOLUTELY MAULED BY HER LITTLE SISTER UPON THE STAGE!!!!

DD: Oh Vince…I dunno if my heart can take this! Hell, I dunno if this desk can take this!

VJ: This desk…what are you doing over there?! Wha…OH MY GOODNESS!!!!!! Angel with 2 handfuls of hair just bealed Kammy onto the ramp. That ass just cracked hard off that steel ramp!! Rough ride…rougher landing!

DD: Vince, you closet pervert! Will you at least try to be professional?!

VJ: Excuse me?

DD: Yeah! Believe it or not, there are better things in this world to talk about than Kammy's ass…like her tits!

VJ: WILL YOU…PLEASE!!!

DD: What?!

VJ: My children…(sighs) I apologize folks! Kammy headed down the ramp, and Angel is hot on her trail! Dave, I don't think Kammy wants any part of her sister! Kammy doesn't…Kammy into the cage!!! Angel's in after her…

VJ: And this match is officially underway! Kammy Vs Angel! The swimsuit match from HELL!!!! Kammy into the ring, and Angel's got a ladder. Angel setting that ladder on the apr---OOOOOH!!!! DAMN!!!! KAMMY WITH A BASEBALL SLIDE!!! THAT LADDER KNOCKED RIGHT BACK INTO THE FACE OF ANGEL!!! And I think she hit the back of her head on that Cell!

DD: HAHA! Beautiful and deadly! I love it, Vince.

VJ: You would. Angel is down…and Kammy has her by the hair. Kammy lifting Angel back to her feet…oh please. Kammy slapping her sister across the face. Adding insult to injury!

DD: Yeah! Go Kammy, go! Slap the bitch like she stole yo momma!

VJ: (looks at Dave like he's a damn fool)

DD: What? That's the hottest new slang in America these days. Michael Jackson says it all the time.

VJ: (Rolls eyes) Another hard slap to the face by Kammy! And another--OH!!! Rake of the face by Angel…Kammy fires back with one of her own! And Angel strikes again! This one getting dirty, Dave!

DD: Oh, I think Angel was dirty a long time before this match started! Watch it, Kammy!

VJ: Irish whip, Kammy reverses…ANGEL HITS HARD OFF THE CAGE!!! Angel bouncing of the steel mesh…Kammy from behind! Watch Kammy----OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!! OH MY…SIDE RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP INTO THE RINGPOST!!!!!!! ANGEL'S SKULL MAY HAVE JUST BEEN CRACKED IN HALF!!!!!

DD: HAHA! That's what I'm talking bout, hooooo! Go Kammy! Go kammy!

VJ: Referee Ruby on the outside trying to make sure Angel…,my God she's hurt. I can't believe Kammy…

DD: It was a great move. And she's about to finish the match right here.

VJ: Oh no. Kammy's got a chair!

DD: Oh boy, Vinnie! Are you ready?! Huh?! Are ya ready, Vince?!

VJ: Angel slowly getting back to her feet after that leg sweep…but Kammy's waiting on her…Kammy…OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH MY…DAMN IT I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!! Kammy with the damndest shot…Angel's head sandwiched between the chair and the ringpost!!! Kammy being absolutely vicious!

DD: And I love it, Vince! Ya know what…screw Alyssa, Vince! I'm marrying Kammy!!!

VJ: Now if I remember right, 3 months ago you said you wouldn't hit Kammy with a brick.

DD: Why would I hit Kammy with a brick, Vince? What, is that some kinda ancient Canadian ritual you have up there? Throwing bricks at beautiful women? Well come to think of it, if I had a Canadian woman, I'd throw bricks at her too! HAHA!

VJ: Ok, wise guy!

DD: I mean, c'mon. It's not like Canadian chicks look all that good in the 1^st place. Ya know what you call a pretty Canadian woman, Vince?

VJ: I'm afraid to ask.

DD: A TOURIST!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! Get it?! Cuz they don't live in Canada….and all Canadian bitches suck…get it?! HAHAHAHAHA! I kill me!

VJ: Yeah, I'll kill you in a second. I apologize to my brothers from the Great White North for the asshole sitting next to me. Meanwhile, Kammy…grinding Angel's face into the mesh of that steel cage. Angel has been cut!

DD: Oh great, Vince! The only thing better than Tables, ladders, chairs and ass is tables, ladders, chairs, thongs, bikinis, ass, and BLOOOOOOOOD!!!!

VJ: Kammy tosses Angel into the ring…things not looking good for Angel. Things not looking good at all. Kammy now…HARD stomp to the small of the back of Angel!!! And another one! Kammy has pretty much dominated this match since that baseball slide earlier on!

Kammy: RUBY!!!!! Get the table!!!

VJ: uh oh!

DD: Ya heard that! Bitch, don't just sit there! GET THE TABLE!

VJ: Kammy just ordered Ruby to get her a table. I know Ruby won't like that…but she's doing it anyway. Ruby headed out to the floor…and she's bringing in a table!

DD: HAHA! She don't hafta like it, Vince, cuz if she says 1 thing outta line, Kammy will beat her like a blue-haired stepmom on Labor Day!

VJ: Whatever you say. The table is in the ring…and right now Kammy is setting it up in the corner. Kammy…just what in God's name is she planning? That table setup in the corner…and Kammy has Angel now! What is Kammy about to do?

DD: She's gonna BREAK SOME NECK, Vince!!!!

VJ: Kammy…oh don't tell me! Kammy has…she's not gonna powerbomb Angel! Don't do that, Kammy! She's your sister! She's…I can't believe th--OH MY!!!!!!!

DD: What in the world?!

VJ: ANGEL COUNTERS THE POWERBOMB WITH A RANA! HURACANRANA ON KAMMY!!!! Kammy's head hit hard off the mat, and now is Angel's chance! Can she turn this thing around, Dave? Can she pull off the upset victory over her sister Kammy?

DD: Hell no! Get up, Kammy!

VJ: Kammy slowly trying to get back to her feet…but where's Angel going? Angel…blood in her eyes…rolling out to the arena floor…what is she…

DD: She's running!

VJ: Oh no she's not! Angel looking under the ring for weapons! Angel looking for…OH MY GOD, SHE'S GOT THE WHIP!

DD: Oh no! She cannot…Vince, that's Kammy's weapon!

VJ: Angel just pulled that whip out from underneath the ring! Angel headed into the ring…and you remember what Kammy did to Angel Friday night on the Slam!

DD: Yeah, Vince! But this is tables, ladders and chairs! Not tables, ladders and whips…OH GOD KAMMY NO!!!! OH!!!

VJ: OH MY!!!! WHAT A SHOT BY ANGEL, RIGHT ACROSS THE BACK OF KAMMY…AND AGAIN! AND AGAIN!!! ANGEL WEARING KAMMY OUT!!! WEARING HER OUT WITH THAT WHIP!!!!

DD: Disqualify her, Ruby! Disqualify her!!!

VJ: Angel is beating the hell outta her sister, and Kammy's gonna try and get outta dodge! Kammy rolling out to the floor…

DD: Smart move, by Kammy! Just take your time, get your strategy together…

VJ: Strategy my ass, she's leaving the Cell!!!

DD: What?!

VJ: Kammy just walked right through the Cell Door! Kammy's gonna call it a night!

DD: Well I don't blame her! You've got a psychotic slut in the ring with a damn whip…oh my gosh! Kammy, look out behind you!

VJ: Angel following her out! Kammy trying to make her way up the ramp, but Angel's right behind her! Angel…WHIPS HER HARD ACROSS THE BACK!!!!!!!! AND AGAIN!!! And now she's got her by the hair!!! There will be no escape for Kammy tonight!

DD: Damn it, Vince! This is no way to treat your sister! Whatever happened to family unity!

VJ: oh give me a break!!! OH!!! Kammy facefirst into the cell…that may not have been the kinda break she wanted! Once again!!!! Kammy slammed hard into the steel mesh of that Cell!!!! Angel paying Kammy back for all the punishment caused earlier on! All the punishment caused Friday night! All the punishment she's received since Kammy turned her back on her for Black Blood…and now where's Kammy going?! Kammy…Kammy's…she's not climbing the Cell, is she?

DD: Now wait a minute, Kammy! It's dangerous up there! Don't…that's no place for a lady!!!!

VJ: Kammy climbing the cell…the heels on those boots making it awfully difficult, but hey! And Angel's on her tail now! Angel and Kammy are gonna take it to the roof of this demonic structure known as the cell!

DD: Damn it, whose dumbass idea was it to sign this match, anyway?!

VJ: Kammy's.

DD: Oh…GREAT IDEA KAMMY! You rock!

VJ: Bull…(flags) Kammy on top of the Cell…and Angel not far behind! Angel…oh wait a minute! Kammy waiting on her sister! Kammy waiting for Angel to reach the top of the Cell…BIG BOOT RIGHT TO THE HEAD OF ANGEL!!!!!! And another one by Kammy!

DD: HAHA! What a brilliant move by Kammy! I told ya she was smart, Vince!

VJ: That was a smart move by Kammy. The momentum just switched back into her favor…HEY C'MON!!! DON'T DO THAT!!! Kammy trying to shove Angel off the top of the Cell! C'mon Kammy! Stop it! Sto---OH! Right hand right to the face by Angel! Kammy reeling after that shot as Angel tries to get back to her feet! Ladies and gentlemen, what a match this has been!

DD: Yeah! Kammy's are just a little bit perkier though…OH!

VJ: Hard right hand, what was that supposed to mean?

DD: You were talking about her match.

VJ: I was…nevermind. Angel firing off with rights now…Kammy in some trouble!!! Angel…Kammy staggering back…

DD: Hey wait a minute, Vince! She's getting kinda close to the edge!

VJ: Angel beating Kammy back towards…OH!!!!! Kammy just staggered over…she almost fell off the edge of the cell! Kammy…she's right over us, Dave!

DD: Now c'mon…RUBY!!! You Teenage Mutant Ninja Slut, get your ass up there and Disqualify Angel! This is SO illegal!

VJ: Kammy is out of it, and watch Angel! Angel signaled to the crowd!!! Yes!! Angel charges in…

DD: NO!!! No!!!---OOOOOH!! WAIT A MINUTE, VINCE!!!!!

VJ and DD: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!!!!!!!!!!!

VJ: UNBELIEVABLE!!!!!

DD: THIS IS THE GREATEST MOMENT IN THE HISTORY OF OUR SPORT!!!!!

VJ: Angel…Kammy managed to dodge the clothesline…strip Angel of her top and dropkick her from the top of the cell all the way down through the Arabian International Announce table!!! Angel…my God she may be destroyed!

DD: And we saw BOOOBIES, Vince! Say it with me, now! BOOBIES!

VJ: A woman is seriously hurt down here and that's all you can think about?

DD: Yup!

VJ: Oh my God…Angel is…let's take one more look at that if we can…

VJ: There's a look at…oh…poor Angel! She hasn't moved since going…at least a 20 foot drop!

DD: And it over, Vince! It's all over! Say goodnight to Angel!

VJ: Kammy…oh! 1 finger across the chest…1…2…NO!!! NO! NO!!! ANGEL GOT THE SHOULDER UP!!!!!!

DD: BULLSH*T!!!!!!!!

VJ: Angel kicked out! Kammy can't believe it! Kammy is livid!

DD: Vince…there's no way! What kinda drugs is that bitch taking?!

VJ: Give credit to Angel and Kammy has her by the hair! Kammy…c'mon, Kammy! Remember, that's your family! Kammy…NO! NO!!!! ANGEL HEADFIRST INTO THE TABLE!!!! Angel…she just bounced right off that table…AND STAGGERS INTO A KAMMYPLEX!!!!! Mercifully this match is over, folks! 1…2…3!!!!

VJ: Well there ya have it, folks! The 1^st ever TLC/Hell in a Cell/Swimsuit match is over…and I don't think we'll ever see anything quite like that again!

DD: Vince, does this not prove that Black Blood is the strongest force in the NFWA today?

VJ: Well…they're very strong indeed. Kammy with a big win as Ruby covers up Angel…oh my goodness.

DD: Yeah, Kammy might as well stuff her and hang her ass up over the mantle at Black Blood HQ, cuz Angel is done! She is dead! She is buried! Long live KAMMY!!!!!

VJ: Well folks…wait a minute.

DD: What's wrong?

VJ: I'm being told…folks, we've got another situation in the back!

VJ: What in the…THAT'S LIGHTNING!!! Lightning…is that the Magdra!!!

DD: Damn it, Vince! What the hell has gotten into everybody tonight..OOOH!

VJ: OH GOD!!!!!! Trashcan right to the head!!!! Lightning is beating the hell…officials back there once again…and Lightning has lost it!!! Lightning has absolutely…

DD: What the hell has gotten into that idiot?! Is he crazy?!

VJ: He just may have…he's got him by the hair now! Lightning has the Magdra…just where the hell…c'mon! Don't…NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! HE JUST THREW MAGDRA HEADFIRST…HE THROUGH HIM STRAIGHT THROUGH THE WALL! THE MAGDRA!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE LIGHTNING JUST DID THAT!

DD: Damn it…he has gotta be sent to jail!!!!!!!!

VJ: Well folks….WHEW! I just cannot believe what kinda night it has been. The NFWA…it's absolutely crazy tonight. We saw the Rocker attacked…earlier on, Panther attacked in the parking lot…we've got this situation with Angel just a few moments ago, and now the Magdra! I cannot believe…it's crazy! That's the only way to describe it!

DD: Damn right it's crazy. And I wouldn't put it past old bolt brain to be as low as to attack Panther in the parking lot! I bet he was the one who did it!

VJ: I think not.

DD: Who gives a damn what you think?! You're Canadian! Lightning…we just saw what he did to the Magdra!!! The guy is a psychopathical lunatic and he has no business being in the NFWA!

VJ: But what about Scarlet KV? He got the Panther Cutter Friday! He's got as big a motive as anybody!

DD: But KV has honor! I keep trying to tell ya but your dumb ass ain't hearing me! KV is an honest, chivalristic person, and he would never stoop as low as that peckneck Lightning would by attacking innocent people from behind!

VJ: Well I'm not so sure…"peckneck".

("Dragula" by Rob Zombie hits the PA system, as Scarlet KV walks down the ramp way and slides into the ring. He grabs the microphone from the ring announcer in the ring, and shoves him out to the mat)

VJ: Scarlet KV, the man who attacked Panther earlier tonight has come down to the ring!

DD: What the hell are you talking about? Everyone knows that Canadians have lazy baboon eyes and can't see worth crap. And there is NO PROOF that SKV did the attack.

VJ: SKV is the only man who has the audacity to do a attack like this one. And if it wasn't him, he has something to do with this attack to say the least.

Scarlet KV: (Starting to speak) Hmph... I know what everyone is thinking. That I attacked Panther, right? Well, guess what? Your wrong! (Crowd boos) I did not do crap to the screw job himself... Even though I was going to attack him eventually. Also, IF I had attacked Panther, I would have finished the job. Besides, I am Near-Perfection as it is. (Crowd boos louder) You heard me! Also, I am also going to say right now... That everyone in the NFWA has hell to pay. Ice Cube (Crowd cheers), Lightning (Crowd cheers), Magdra, Dick Bruiser, Kaos, ect and ect... Hell, everyone is going to suffer for screwing over SKV. Cause you know what? Things have changed. Things aren't the same anymore, and all honor and civilary has been lost. So, everybody in the NFWA... You don't want to play by civilary? Fine, cause I don't need rules to win.

(Scarlet KV throws the microphone into the audience, as the crowd chants "SKV sucks", as Scarlet KV slides out of the ring)

VJ: That SKV is nothing but a self-sentered liar and a sore loser!

DD: (Smacks Vince) Shut up! SKV is being screwed over and you know it! Don't you feel any compassion for the guy?

VJ: Well folks…Panther is hurt, KV is denying it…and we still have no concrete evidence…I bet it was KV, Dave! It had to be!

DD: For the last time skankhole, Scarlet KV…

VJ: Well ladies and gentlemen…Lightning…he's headed out here! Lightning…

DD: Oh great! I tell ya, Vince! What's he gonna do now?! He already got Panther and Magdra…

VJ: He did not attack Panther!

DD: You don't know that?! Were you back there?!

VJ: We…

DD: Hell no you weren't back there! Ya probly had your head stuck up a Moose's ass ya yak-licking skankhole! Shut your mouth! Cuz if this idiot thinks he can do what he did to Magdra and Panther to KV…he's got another thing coming!

VJ: Lightning has a mic!

Lightning: Im done messing around!!! Im done talking about climbing back to the top of this fed, and im done talking about doing this and doing that...no more talk...its time to take some action...FNS...I guess you can say Sparked!...a lil more electricity in the bolt...and im about to shock the whole NFWA....FNS...5 people made a huge, gigantic mistake...they pissed me off...and I was PINNED!!!! DAMNIT I WAS PINNED by who....Pinned by a guy named STEVO...a man who puts the wrong damn vowel after his name....you know how bad that pisses me off...I dont think iv ever been so pissed...o wait...there was a time I was a lil more pissed then this..it was when I got screwed out of the World Title after the Ultimate Destruction Match...and I never got to say thank you Panther...maybe some day I will get to say thank you..

DD: Wait a minute Vince…that prove it!!! He just admitted it…

VJ: He did not!

DD: Lightning attacked Panther! Somebody call the police and have his ass thrown in jail!

Scarlet KV: Lightning…I don't mean to interrupt, but why the hell are you telling me this? You dare come out here and interrupt me with your foolish talk? You know…

Lightning: Shut your mouth!!! (Crowd cheers) See….you come out here and whine and bitch like a 14 year old girl that just had her period! "Everybody's gonna suffer for screwing over KV". Well damn it, NOBODY in the NFWA has been screwed more than me! NOBODY!!! (Crowd cheers) Now my purpose is to let you know that if at the end of the night, the roster is just a few men shorter then what it was, then its time to go talent scouting again, because after tonight, Black Blood and a few others will feel the wrath of Lightning...so hold all the security guards back..and hold the refs back...because tonight Lightning Strikes and in a big way...it started with Magdra and it will end when I say it will end....tonight is called Total Annihilation…and before Im done…it will be exactly that!!!!

Scarlet KV: (Smirks) Is that so? Lightning…I'm not sure just who you're out here to impress…because you're not impressing me! You cannot intimidate me! You can talk about your lightning strikes…and whatever. But Lightning…if it's Black Blood that you want…we will have a say on whether or not the Streak will end!!! (Tosses the mic at Lightning)

VJ: Uh oh. Scarlet KV…look at the look on Lightning's face.

DD: He's scared, Vince! He's gonna run any minute!

VJ: Ladies and gentlemen…Lightning and KV…we've got a situation out here! Lightning and Scarlet KV on the stage, going face to face! Eye to eye! Nose to nose! And Lightning's removing his jacket!! Lightning…

DD: Oh boy, Vince!!! This is gonna be great!!!!

VJ: Lightning…the man Scarlet KV has accused of screwing him out of the I-C Title! These 2 men…these 2 NFWA legends could be getting ready to go toe to toe!!!

DD: KV's gonna beat Lightning like the dog…

VJ: These fans…the roof sounds like it's about to blow off of the Staples Center!!!! Lightning and KV!! Lightning and KV!!!!

DD: Oh…Vince…this is good! This is…

VJ: Scarlet KV and Lightning…they could come to blows any minute! Yes! Here we go…her..OH! We've got officials out from the locker room…

DD: Damn it!! Who the hell?!

VJ: Lightning and KV being separated by these officials…I was sure that these 2…oh my goodness!

DD: Oh yeah! Talk about the Streak, Vince! Talk about the Lightning streak! The only streak I see is that yellow one running up his back! He's scared of Scarlet KV!

VJ: Oh please!

DD: Yeah that's right. I bet he paid those officials to come out here, cuz he knows that he cannot beat Scarlet KV on his own! He cannot..

VJ: OH!!! KV JUST TOOK A SWING AT LIGHTNING!!! LIGHTNING SWINGS BACK! THESE 2 MEN TRYING TO GET AT ONE ANOTHER!!!! These 2…as Lightning is dragged back to the locker room…my God what a night it's been!

VJ: Well folks…

DD: See, Vince! Even the idiots agree that those 2 should fight! That damn coward Lightning…

VJ: Will you stop it?! Folks…Lightning being taken to the locker room…apparently this situation is over, although I don't think we've heard the last of either of them tonight. But up next, it's Blaze going 1 on 1 with DJP. A lotta controversy regarding Blaze's return, especially in regards to the situation with Johnny Havok. Let's take a look…

DD: WORST VIDEO EVER!

VJ: AND THAT'S THE TRUTH!

DD: (Slaps Johnson) SHUT UP, VINCE!

KT: Ladies and gentlemen, I'm back here alongside Ice Cube, and Ice Cube, it's been quite a week here in the NFWA. With the upcoming TV Title tournament this Friday on the Slam as well as Panther's impending announcement on the situation with the World Title, it seems like the intensity level of all the NFWA superstars has been raised just that much higher, as everyone seems to be vying for a top spot in the company. Now…we heard from both Scarlet KV and Lightning earlier, and both of them have basically let the world know that they have their eyes set on the World Title here in 2002. But what about you? What are your feelings regarding the World Title?

Ice Cube: Well Kevin, if it wasn't for that Tristram and his little cinder block to the head last month, everybody knows I would be standing here the #1 contender for the belt, if not the NFWA Champion. Now as far as Lightning and KV, they can say whatever they wanna say! They're great athletes…BUT I'M A F*CKING LEGEND!!! I'm a 3 time NFWA Champion! I'm a former I-C Champion! The 2001 King of the Beach! Multiple time Tag Team Champion…I've done more than anybody in the history of the NFWA! You could even say…

Ice Cube: What the f*ck do you want?

KT: Guys…

Ice Cube: what?!?! You got a problem?! Huh? You got something you wanna say to me? Or maybe you wanna get your f*cking ass kicked just like your punk ass friend did earlier. Huh? Is that what you want?

Ahmad: (Shoves Ice Cube)

Ice Cube: (Smiles) Oh…

KT: Guys…c'mon! Guys…(Grabs Ice Cube's arm) C'mon! We've had enough going on here tonight without worrying about…

DD; OH!!!! WHAT THE…

VJ: ICE BREAKER ON TAYLOR!!!!!! ICE CUBE JUST NAILED KEVIN TAYLOR WITH---OH NO!!!!! NO!!!!! Ahmad with a pipe…he just cleaned Ice Cube's clock with that pipe, Dave!!

DD: HAHA! That's a pipejob if I ever saw one Vince! That was great!

VJ: Ice Cube trying to give an interview…just blindsided by that…oh God he's busted open!!! Ice Cube has been busted wide open, and Itani has him again!!! Ahmad…he's got Ice Cube by the hair! Ice Cube not even scheduled to be on the card tonight! What's he…what the hell is he…oh no!! No…NOOOOOO!!!!!! HE JUST TOSSED ICE CUBE THROUGH THAT WINDOW!!! DAMN IT TO HELL!!! THAT SON OF A…GET SOME HELP BACK THERE!!!! GET SOME HELP FOR ICE CUBE!!!

Ahmad: (Smiling) Friday night…we'll finish this you little BITCH!!! (Walks away)

VJ: He's…he's sick Dave! And Ice Cube is hurt! Ice Cube just tossed through a damn window…

DD: I say once again…WHAT THE HELL HAS GOTTEN INTO EVERYBODY TONIGHT?!

DD: Yeah, and not only that, but I have it from a valuable source that WHEN Diamond loses this match tonight, she's gonna retire! Oh my God Vince, I'm getting goosebumps.

VJ: Well we're still not sure whether or not that's the case. I can't for the life of me see why Diamond would throw away such a valuable career over one match…but whether or not she loses remains to be seen.

DD: Please, Vince. I mean…you've got Deadly Candy in there, and we all know what Deadly Candy is capable of doing to Diamond. Then you've got Darkest Desires…she even beat Alyssa! And Pandora…and Sabrina…there's no way Diamond…

VJ: HEY WAIT A MINUTE!!!! Diamond and Sabrina having some words here…but watch Pandora! Pandora sneaking up behind Diamond with that box of candy…Diamond! Turn around! Dia…

DD: SHHHH!

VJ: Pandora from behind---NOOO!!!!!!!

VJ: DIAMOND SAW IT COMING!!! DIAMOND WITH RIGHT HANDS!!!! RIGHT HANDS TO THE HEAD HAS PANDORA REELING!!!!

DD: Damn it, Vince, ya no good snitch!!! Get away Pandy!!!!

VJ: And that's exactly what she's doing as this thing starts to break loose!!! Sabrina and Dark…OH!!! Alyssa getting in there as well! We've got a 3 way brawl inside the ring, and watch Diamond…Pandora trying to get away from the Women's Champion, but Diamond is hot on her heels! Diamond chasing Pandora around the ring…

DD: Faster, Pandy! She's gaining on you! She's gaining…

VJ: WHOA! She dove right into the crowd!!! Pandora trying to make an escape through this capacity crowd, but Diamond is headed out there after her!

DD: Damn it, Vince! It's the LA Riots all over again---WHAT THE HELL??!?!

VJ: What in the World…those fans!!! ALRIGHT NOW!!! Those damn suits…they're attacking Diamond!!!

DD: HAHAHA!!! Can you believe this, Johnson?!

VJ: These men in suits…they arrived at the beginning of the show, this is the 2^nd time damn it! This is the 2^nd time tonight…OH GOD!!!! LOW BLOW!!! LOW BLOW!!! DIAMOND GOT ONE OF EM!!! DIAMOND…

DD: Oh my God!!! POLICE!!! POLICE!

VJ: Diamond with one of those clipboards…AND SHE NAILS ONE OF THOSE SUITS!!!! AND ANOTHER ONE!!! DIAMOND TEARING INTO WHOEVER THESE GUYS ARE IN THE CROWD!!! DIAMOND…

DD: She's attacking fans, Vince! She's attacking fans…

VJ: These men are no fans!!! These men…I have no clue who they are or what they're doing here, but Diamond giving them exactly what they deserve…and finally security trying to calm this situation down! Trying to get…GEEZ.

DD: Ya see this, Panther!!! Ya see what your bitch just did?! We're getting sued tonight! I know it!

VJ: Well we still have no word on Panther's condition. We'll keep you updated throughout the show, but security is finally doing their job and kicking these guys outta here! These men being ejected from the arena!!! And the Women's Champion is furious! I can only imagine what is going through that young lady's mind after all she's been through tonight.

DD: I'm guessing air, but I could be wrong.

VJ: Stop it! Pandora…God only knows where she went, but Diamond wants her bad. And back in the ring, we've got a double team situation. Sabrina and Deadly Candy…working together against Darkest Desires…

DD: C'mon!!!! Alyssa!!!!

VJ: Desires trapped in the corner…both Wilson and Alyssa standing on her throat…referee Jenkins trying to get in there…she has absolutely lost control of this situation, Dave.

DD: Yeah, she's so busy checking out Sabrina's ass…

VJ: She's not a lesbian!

DD: And your mother's not a woman! I don't give a piss!

VJ: Will…nevermind. Stephanie finally able to cause the break…OH!!!! Schoolgirl by Alyssa!!! Schoolgirl…1…2…STEPHANIE ABLE TO KICKOUT!!! AND RUNS RIGHT THROUGH ALYSSA WITH THE DAMNDEST CLOTHESLINE…SHE TOOK HER HEAD OFF!!!! The cover…

DD: Cover my ass, she's trying to kill her!!!

VJ: Sabrina Wilson…oh she's snapped!!! Sabrina Wilson hammering away upon Deadly Candy with hard right hands…Deadly Candy being rocked! And Sabrina…she's on fire! Sabrina Wilson on fire--WATCH DARK!!! DESIRES WITH A BULLDOG!!! BULLDOG ON SABRINA!!! The leg is hooked…1…2…NO MA'AM! Sabrina out after 2!!!

DD: Whew! Oh Vince.

VJ: What a wild night it has been…and it can only serve to get…what's that? Oh boy…

DD: What?

VJ: They're telling me over my headset that Ice Cube is ok…

DD: DAMN IT!

VJ: (Gives Dave a mean look) Ice Cube is ok…he was a little shaken up after the incident with Ahmad, but apparently now he is on the prowl. Ice Cube scouring the backstage area for Ahmad Itani!

DD: Well if that man has a death wish, it's about to be granted! Cuz I tell ya…Ahmad and the Magdra are crackheads!!! You ever been in a fight with a crackhead, Vince? They're beat you to death and pawn your body for crack money…

VJ: Will you stop?! And you're one to talk about drug use.

DD: I'll have you know I've never done a drug in my life!

VJ: Riiiight. OH! Darkest Desires just laying into Sabrina with those hard chops to the chest!

DD: HAHA! I think they're swelling Vince!

VJ: Well…GEEZ! Another hard chop by Desires!!! And another! Darkest Desires absolutely lighting up the chest--OH!!! SLEEPER!!! ALYSSA FROM BEHIND WITH A SLEEPER ON DARK!!!

DD: Well…nighty night, Dark!

VJ: Darkest Desires…OH!!!! COUNTERS WITH A JAWBREAKER!!!!!! Alyssa just rocked…but watch Sabrina!!! Sabrina has Dark by the legs…

DD: Wait a minute, Vince! No!! What the…

VJ: Sabrina Wilson…about to take us deep into the heart of Texas…AND THERE IT IS!!!! CLOVERLEAF! THE TEXAS CLOVERLEAF…DESIRES IS IN DEEP, DEEP TROUBLE!!!!

DD: Damn it…get those cops back out here! That bitch has just smuggled a foreign wrestling hold over California borders!!

VJ: What the hell are you…shut up!

DD: This is so illegal!

VJ: Desires is trapped. She is nowhere near the ropes, and is she submits, Sabrina Wilson will become the new Women's Champion…

DD: Somebody help Dark! Where is Tristram when you need him?!

VJ: Desires…Stephanie Jenkins right there to see…LOOK AT THE TORK ON THE BACK! Sabrina Wilson leaning back with all her might…and now look at Diamond. Diamond back in the ring now…and now what's she thinking?

DD: Diamond, do something useful for once in your life and help Dark!

VJ: Well if Dark submits…Diamond loses the title, but Sabrina's her best friend…

DD: Screw friendship! A friend in need is nothing but a pest! Diamond…wind back and knock the sh…

VJ: OH! Alyssa Sanders with a boot to the head of Sabrina…the hold has been broken now! Diamond just looking on in the corner…what the hell? Alyssa going for a Sharpshooter!

DD: Smart move! Did I ever tell you I'm marrying her…OH! What the…

VJ: Axehandle blow by Sabrina halts that process! And watch Diamond! Diamond measuring Alyssa! Diamond measuring the former champion…OH! Boot to the midsection and she spikes her with a DDT!!!!! Alyssa has been planted by Diamond! And watch Dark! Darkest Desires catches a right hand from Sabrina! Diamond from behind…AND PLANTS HER WITH AN INVERTED DDT!!!!! 2 down…and then there was one!!! Diamond and Sabrina…standing all alone in the ring.

DD: Well, well!

VJ: Diamond and Sabrina…they're best friends. What's gonna happen here?

DD: I wouldn't care if she was my uncle, if I was Sabrina right now, I'd slap Diamond's head into the 8^th row…

VJ: What the…Sabrina extending the hand to Diamond. Sabrina…

DD: bullsh*t Vince. This is sposed to be a match!

VJ: Well…friendship will apparently prevail. Sabrina extends the hand, and Diamond's gonna shake---NO SHE'S NOT!!!!!!!

DD: WHAT?!?!

VJ: DIAMOND…SHE JUST SUCKED SABRINA IN WITH THAT CLOTHESLINE, AND I GUESS NOW WE KNOW! Friendships don't matter!!!!

DD: Well, Vince you'd actually hafta have friends to know that, but yeah! That's what I said all along, and if Sabrina wasn't such a stu…OOOH!

VJ: oh my! Diamond firing off! Rights…lefts! Chops…kicks! She's throwing everything at her but the kitchen sink…AND AN IRISH WHIP SENDS HER HARD INTO THE BUCKLE!!!! Diamond about…oh! Right hand blocked…and another Irish whip by Diamond sends Desires right into Sabrina!!!

DD: Uh oh!

VJ: Sabrina and Dark in the buckle, and now she's got Alyssa! Diamond…Irish whip…AND WE'VE GOT A DARKEST DESIRES SANDWICH!

DD: (Smiles)

VJ: pervert!

DD: What?

VJ: Desires, Wilson and Sanders all trapped in the corner…oh my.

DD: no she's not, Vince! She can't!

VJ: Diamond is calling for it! Diamond…my goodness, Dave will you listen to this crowd!!!

DD: Damn it to hell, I'm begging one of you to move! MOVE!

VJ: She's calling for it, and here it comes! Diamond…Diamond…DIAMOND ELBOW!!!! THAT'S THE BIGGEST DIAMOND ELBOW I'VE EVER SEEN!!! AND THE QUEEN OF EXTREME IS RULING THE RING! DIAMOND IS STANDING TA--

DD: PANDY!!!

VJ: Pan…WHO?! OH LOOK OUT!!! PANDORA WITH A CHAIR…AND SHE JUST WAFFLED DIAMOND WITH THAT SHOT!!!!!!!! DAMN IT!!! DAMN IT!!!

DD: Whoohoo! Vince, never underestimate the powers of a psycho bitch! YEAH!!!

VJ: THERE'S ONE FOR SABRINA!!! ALYSSA CATCHES ONE…PANDORA HAS LOST IT!!! PANDORA HAS ABSOLUTELY LOST IT!

DD: Newsflash, skankhole! She never had it!

VJ: Pandora…DAMN IT! She has just laid out every woman in the match with that chair! Desires is down! Alyssa is down! Sabrina is down! And look at Pandora…arrogant cover on the women's Champ! Not like this…1…2…NO!!!!! SHE KICKED OUT! DIAMOND KICKED OUT!!!!

DD: What?!?! NO WAY!

VJ: HELL YEAH!!!! It's gonna take more than a chair to beat the Queen of Extreme!

DD: (Pulls out his gun)

VJ: (Slaps the gun out of Dave's hand) WILL YOU PUT THAT AWAY?!

DD: Damn it!!! C'mon, Pandy!!! This is your time to shine!

VJ: Pandora…she…is that a razor?! Pandora…oh no! Hell no! Stephanie! She cannot…

DD: Hey…you wanted to know what she could do…

VJ: Diamond's already been busted open by that chairshot. The exact same spot opened up a week earlier on the Slam, and now that psychotic woman has a razor! She cannot…Stephanie Jenkins desperately trying to get that thing away from Pandora…AND SHE HIT STEPHANIE! WHAT A NO GOOD…PANDORA JUST FLOORED STEPHANIE WITH A RIGHT HAND! And she's got a razor! She is stalking Diamond with that razor! No! good got, no!

DD: Well…I always said Diamond couldn't cut it as a wrestler…and I guess Pandora's fixing to prove me wrong! HAHA…oh no!!

VJ: OH!!! Double leg takedown!!! Diamond with a double leg takedown! Pandora…OH!!!!!!!!!! SHE HIT THE POST!!!!!!! SLINGSHOT BY DIAMOND, AND PANDORA HIT HEADFIRST OFF THE POST!!! DIAMOND WITH A SCHOOLGIRL…1…2…C'MON STEPH!!!!

DD: HAHA! Hey Vince, I think Stephanie's lesbitis is acting up again!

VJ: Stephanie way out of position…Diamond's got the match won…1……2……PANDORA GETS THE SHOULDER UP!!! What a heartbreaker…Diamond's gotta feel that!

DD: Yeah…well feel this…

VJ: Wha---OH! Alyssa with that chair…AND DOWN GOES DIAMOND!!!!!!!! She…sounded like gunshot just went off! Diamond is down, and Alyssa with Pandora now. Alyssa…what's she gonna…OH MY!!! COUGH DROP ON PAN---NO!!!!!!!

DD: What the hell?!

VJ: ALYSSA SENT STERNUM FIRST INTO THE BUCKLE!!!! ALYSSA…GOOD GOD, AND PANDORA WITH AN UNBELIEVABLE NECKBREAKER!!!!!! Neckbreaker on Deadly Candy! That could do it! That could do…SABRINA WITH A SPEAR ON PANDY!!!! SABRINA AND PANDY NOW!!! SABRINA…

VJ: Catfight is right!!! Sabrina…OH! All over Pandora! This thing has absolutely broken down! Sabrina Wil…

DD: Wait, Vince! Look…

VJ: OH!!!!! MOONSAULT ON ALYSSA!!! DESIRES…1…2…OH SHE GOT HER!!!!

DD: (Smiles) HEY!!!!!!

VJ: Desires…that moonsault out of nowhere on Deadly Candy and we've got a new Champion! Darkest Desires has won this thing…and look at Diamond! Look at the look on her face! She can't believe it!

DD: hold on, Vince! I've been waiting for they for months. (Stands up on the table) HEY DIAMOND…YOU LOST, BITCH!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAH!!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!

VJ: (Shoves Dave) Get down from there! Darkest Desires…I don't wanna say an upset…but in her PPV debut…

DD: She beat Diamond's ass! And now Diamond is gone! She's gonna retire, and she's gonna get the f*ck outta my life forever!!! Vince…this is so great…I need a smoke! I need…

VJ: You need to stop! Congrats to Desires…but Diamond…I sincerely hope the rumors aren't true.

(In the back, Amy "Lita" Dumas catches up with T Money to get a few words in before his match)

AD:T Money...T..T, can I please get a few words in with you before your match tonight?

T Money:Hurry up, I gotta get prepared girl!

AD:Ok T, tonight has to be one big night..Maybe one of the biggest of your NFWA career. How do you feel going into tonights Best Of Best Match for your Universal Championship match with Rick bruiuser?

T MOney:(Looks into the camara)Rick, I know yo big ass is watching..Listen! Tonight, all your trash talk, all your lip ends here! Talking now, will get you nowhere! The only thing it's going to et you is a broken neck, jaw, back, and whatever other part of your dumb ass is in my way! You talked alot, but tonight, I will shut you up! You've always talked about how you didn't want to be on top of the World anymore? You always said how you wantd to be on top of the Universe now...heh! Well, tonight, here;'s your chance! You got the biggest opratunity of a life time..No, not becoming Universal Champion, but backing up and that shit you spit! beating me! if you do so, you will have the right to be named the Universal Champion! So far, I have been the best Universal Champion of NFWA or GNL and I plan on making it stay that way! So get readsy Ricky..Tonight, "Best Of The Best", me and you, one on one! What will you do? Will you prevail? Over my dead body! it's on in that main event!
...Come hell or high water, you are going down! If you think your ready, then step up son...Two, maybe three matches..I done it before..Can you hang big man? CAn you run with the big dogg? Huh? Can you run with T Money? heh! I don't think so! Remember when you stole my belt? Well, that is the closest you will ever be to getting that Universal Championship from!This right now, is a no laughing matter! Tonight, your next..Get ready to get slaughtered like a pig bitch!

AD:Wow! T, tonight is it. Just you and Ruick bruiser, battling it out for the Universal Championship...How do you think it will go? Do you think it will go to three matches?

T Money:Well Amy "Lita" Dumas..heh! Nice name! Anywayz, I can't really tll you that cuz I have not the lightest clue..But to be truthful..It may indeed go to three falls..maybe cuz Rick gets lucky, or maybe cu I want it to! Either way it goes though, I will win! And ther will be nothing Rick bruiser can do about it..Nothing! When I am decalred the winner and still Universal Champion! Get laced up big bitch, cuz tonight, you are stepping into a warzone! See ya later Ricky! And see you after the show Lita! Hahaha!

AD:(Blushing)Strong dic---I mean strong words from T Money..Well, there ya have it, good luyck tonight T Money.

T Money:(Shaking his head) I don't need no damn luck!

(Lita looks at T Money as he walks off down the hallway and the scene cuts back to the women's locker room, where Kammy is pacing back and forth. Suddenly, the door opens, and Darkest Desires rushes into the room with the Women's Title belt)

Desires: I won!! Kammy…I won!!!

Kammy: Oh! That's great!

Lightning: OH LADIES!!!!

Kammy and Desires: Huh…AHHH!!!

DD: OH MY GOD! VINCE!!!!

VJ: LIGHTNING!!! LIGHTNING FROM THE CLOSET…

DD: RAPE!!!! RAPE!!!! RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPE!!!!!!!!

VJ: Down goes Kammy! Oh! Dark tried to hit Lightning with that title belt, but she goe shoved right on her ass! Lightning…I dunno if I agree with this…

DD: Agr…that faggot came out the closet and now…put her down you idiot! Put her down!

VJ: Lightning has Kammy…oh! He's got a whip of his own!! Lightning…if you remember, Friday night on the Slam, Lightning received a whipping…

DD: Damn it, Vince! This isn't Singapore! THIS ISN'T SINGAPORE!!!!!!

VJ: OH MY…

Crowd: 1…2…3…4…5…6…7…8…9…10!!!!!!!

VJ: 10 lashes to hide of Kammy!

DD: Damn it, Black Blood! Where the hell is Black Blood! KV! Somebody help Kammy!!! No not Dark too! No!

VJ: Lightning has Dark Now!! Lightning…Oh my goodness…

Crowd: 1…2…3…4…

VJ: Ladies and gentlemen…I don't know quite what to say about that!

DD: Well I do! That damn Lightning is nothing but a lowlife, 2 bit, cotton-picking FORNICATOR!!!!!!

VJ: Please.

DD: Don't please me! How dare he do that to wholesome, church going young women like Kammy and Dark?! And Dark is the new Cha…oh he's gonna pay for that!

VJ: Church-going?!

DD: That's right.

VJ: Give me a break! Well, ladies and gentlemen…it's been quite a night. A quick update on the situation with Panther. Um…Panther…we're not sure exactly how severe the injury that he received earlier tonight was. But according to doctors they suspect a mild concussion. Um…he's being kept overnight for further observation…and right now we're just gonna keep our fingers crossed. The good news is that Panther has regained consciousness…he was out for quite some time. Since the attack happened earlier tonight. He has regained consciousness…and we're wishing him Godspeed.

DD: Vince, Panther's in enough pain already without having your Canadian lips give him an ass infection. Now I hate to see anything like that happen to somebody who signs my checks and all…and I hope Panther's ok…but I wanna know who the hell did that to him!

VJ: Nobody knows. We have no witnesses.

DD: Well the way old bolt brain's been acting tonight, I wouldn't be surprised if it was him!

VJ: I seriously doubt it!

DD: Oh you bet your sweet ass he did it. Probably all highed up on that PCP!

VJ: Well we don't know who did it, and we'll keep you informed as more information unfolds. Now up next, it's a War Zone match! The NFWA X-Treme Title on the line as Kaos does battle with Psycho Stevo. Let's show you the history between these 2 gladiators…

VJ and DD: We gotta fire that guy.

DD: Yeah…but what the hell is that idiot Peterson wearing?

VJ: (Laughs) Don't be surprised. This match has a 30 minute time limit…and the catch with these War Zone matches is that when the time limit expires…the ring explodes.

DD: WHAT?!?!!?!?!

VJ: What do you mean what? You worked with Panther before. You should know the rules to this match…

DD: What the hell do you mean the ring explodes! Not with…how can…damn it, Vince! What the hell?!

VJ: Well…I'm pretty sure that neither man will settle for a time limit draw, so don't worry.

DD: Yeah…well I tell ya what, Johnson. If I get blown up tonight, I swear I'm coming back from the dead and I'm busting a cap in somebody's ass!

VJ: Yeah sure. Stevo and Kaos…these 2 men going face to face…the calm before the storm!

DD: Vince, I wanna know what Too Xtreme and Black Blood have against each other. Does Kaos have some naked pictures of Darkest Desires that we don't know about?

VJ: Well..actually jackass, he did videotape her in the shower a few weeks back.

DD: Oh yeah, that's right.

VJ: Kaos and Stevo now…getting ready to tie it up!

DD: Stevo, this ain't no time to be drinking water…WAIT A MINUTE!!!! He can't…did you see that?!

VJ: Stevo just spit that water all over Kaos!!!!! Kaos…Kaos can't believe it!

DD: Vince, that TOTALLY lacks home training! GET HIM KAOS!!!

VJ: I thought you…OH!!! Right hand blocked by Stevo…STEVO OPENING UP NOW!!! RIGHT HANDS!!! RIGHT HANDS TO THE HEAD OF KAOS!!!!!!!! Psyko Stevo opening up big time now! Irish whip now…Kaos off the ropes, Stevo misses with the spin kick…here he comes off the otherside…AND HE RUNS RIGHT INTO A SPINNING HEEL KICK FROM THE CHAMPION!!!! Psyko Stevo...LOOK AT HIM GO NOW! RIGHT HANDS! PISTON-LIKE RIGHTS TO THE FOREHEAD OF THE CHAMPION!!! Stevo is determined not to let Kaos walk outta here a 5-Time Champ!

DD: Well he's looking near-perfect right now! You better do something quick, Kaos!

VJ: Stevo now…Irish whip…Kaos reverses…OH!!!!! Stevo hard into the buckle, and now here comes Kaos! Head full of steam…uh oh!

DD: Oh…Kaos!

VJ: Kaos got caught coming in! Psyko Stevo now…looks like he's setting up for…THE WIDOWMAKER!!!!! YES!!!! THE WIDOWMAKER!!! IT'S BEEN LOCKED IN FOLKS, AND THIS TIME IT'S LEGAL!!!! THERE'S NOTHING THE REFEREE CAN DO TO BREAK THIS HOLD! KAOS MAY HAFTA GIVE IN!!! KAOS MAY….OH NO!!!!!

DD: What the…what happened, Vince?

VJ: Stevo…looked like he slipped. Stevo slipped off those ropes…he had the Widowmaker locked in…oh no. He landed right on top of that barbwire. Stevo landed on top of that barbwire on the floor!

DD: Well…this is a War Zone Match, and Psyko Stevo may be the 1^st casualty.

VJ: Stevo…that barbwire tore right into his back…and now what's Kaos doing? Kaos…he's got a shovel now.

DD: Um…I don't think he's gonna be digging any trenches…WHAT THE F*CK?!?!?!

VJ: OH MY GOODNESS!!!!!!! KAOS UP AND OVER THE TOP ROPE!!! HE JUST NAILED STEVO RIGHT IN THE HEAD WITH A DIVING SHOVEL SHOT!!!!! PSYKO STEVO NAILED RIGHT IN THE HEAD!!!!! Stevo…that could be it right there! That's gotta be! Kaos with a cover on the outside…referee way outta position…

DD: Put him in the ring, you idiot!!! Hurry!!!!

VJ: Kaos…he just knocked Stevo's brains in, and that ridiculous outfit is making it difficult for the referee to get out there…oh wait a second. Kaos has Stevo by the hair now…

DD: Put him back in the ring!Put him in the…OH!!!!!

VJ: OH MY!!!! Kaos dropped throat-first across that barbwire!!! I mean Stevo was!!!! Stevo…already bleeded from the back and look at Kaos! Kaos hammering away across the back of Psyko Stevo! Kaos wailing on the champion!

DD: Now Kaos is going crazy. I can't believe this!

VJ: Kaos ready to rock and roll! Stevo tossed back into the ring now…and watch Kaos! Kaos headed up top! Kaos…could be going for the kill here...OOOOOOH!!!!! NOBODY HOME!!!!!! Kaos misses the guillotine leg drop…watch Stevo! Stevo watch that C4 pad…

DD: hey wait!!! Kaos…

VJ: OH…

VJ and DD: OH SH*T!!!!!!!!!

DD: HAHA…Vince…oh…did you just…

VJ: HELL YEAH I SAW IT!!!! PSYKOTINATOR!!!!!! PSYKOTINATOR WITH THE C4!!!!!

DD: He blew his face off, Vince. I swear he did.

VJ: Kaos may have been killed!!!! Psyko Stevo with the cover…1…2…NOOOOO!!!!!!! KAOS GOT THE SHOULDER UP!!!!! HE…HOW THE HELL?!

DD: Damn it, Vince, what kinda idiot is Kaos?!

VJ: Kaos…what guts and determination…

DD: That's called stupidity! No belt is worth getting your face blown off!

VJ: I'm surprised Kaos is even alive, much less able to kick out after that one. Give him credit…but watch Stevo here. Stevo going up top it looks like. Kaos is down in the center of the ring…PSYKOTIC SENTON!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT WILL DO IT!!!!! Stevo with the cover…1…2…thr---DAMN IT!!!! HE KICKED OUT AGAIN!!!!!!!! KAOS KICKED OUT ONCE AGAIN!!!

DD: What?!

VJ: Kaos!!! My God, this crowd can't believe it!

DD: Damn it, Vince. Kaos is a friend of mine. I know the man has guts, but this is too much, damn it! He's gonna kill himself!!!!

VJ: Stevo is in shock himself…no one has kicked out of the Psykotic Senton! No one!!! Until now!

DD: And Stevo's gonna make him pay for it!

VJ: Stevo with Kaos now…OH!!! Elbow right to the top of the head! And again! A boot to the midsection! Irish whip…reversal by Kaos…Stevo off the ro---OOOOOOOH!!!!!!!!

VJ and DD: OOOOOOOOOOH!!!!!!

VJ: OH MY GOD!!!! OH…I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT!!!! DROP TOE HOLD!!! STEVO'S FACE BOUNCED RIGHT OFF THAT C4 PAD!!!! KAOS WITH THE COVER!! WE'VE GOT A NEW CHAMPION…2…NO WE DON'T!!!! DAMN IT, HE KICKED OUT TOO!!!!

DD: NO WAY!!!!!

VJ: DAMN IT TO HELL, I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!!!! KAOS AND PSYKO STEVO!!!! I HAVE NEVER SEEN GUTS AND DETERMINATION LIKE THIS IN MY LIFE!

DD: Well if it's like that I'm getting the f*ck outta here, cuz there ain't no way these 2 are gonna make it outta here without a time limit draw!

VJ: Sit down! Kaos…he's hurt, as is Stevo! And…oh, he's got 1 of those rifles.

DD: oh my God, Vince! He's gonna bu…

VJ: It's unloaded!

DD: bullsh*t!

VJ: Kaos…he just grabbed an assault rifle. Stevo is out of it on the mat!!! And Kaos…taking a page outta Mark McGuire's book!

DD: Why not Barry Bonds?

VJ: Why don't you kiss my ass?! Stevo slowly getting back to his feet. Kaos is waiting for him! Kaos…OH! Swing and a miss! Stevo from behind---WHITE RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP!!!!!!!!!! Stevo with a White Russian…there's the cover…1…2…KAOS WITH THE KICKOUT!!!!! My God…what do you hafta do to beat these men?

DD: I dunno. These 2 guys are gonna keep on fighting and they're gonna die right there in the ring!

VJ: Stevo has Kaos…OH!!! 3/4 NELSON!!! OUTTA NOWHERE!!! KAOS…1…2…STEVO KICKS OUT!!!!!!! Psyko Stevo…Kaos is frustrated!!!!

DD: What do ya mean he's frustrated! The man is half dead! He got his nose blown half way to Chicago…

VJ: He's got Stevo by the hair now. Kaos…he may be--STEVO WITH A RIGHT TO THE GUT! And Kaos with one to the head!!!! Stevo fires back…but Kaos responds with a boot to the face! Kaos…and another one…geez! Stevo is out of it! Stevo…a boot to the midsection by Kaos!

DD: Uh oh. You wanna know what can finish it? Well here it is! Here it is, Vince. Ticking Time Bomb….

VJ: Kaos…TICKING TIME BOMB…YES…YES…OH WAIT A MINUTE!!!!

DD: What in the would…

VJ: DDT!!!!!!!!!!!! STEVO…STEVO COUNTERED THE DVD WITH A SWINGING DDT!!!!!! Kaos has been spiked!!!!! Stevo…hooks the tights…2…he got him!!!!!

VJ: Ladies and gentlemen…oh my goodness. That one wasn't pretty. That one wasn't pretty at all! You've gotta give credit…

DD: F*ck credit. Call the ambulance! Both these guys are gonna be on life support in a coupla hours!

VJ: Well folks…Stevo…they call it a War Zone match, and that's exactly what it resembles. The EMT's now on their way to ringside…both these men likely to be on their way to the hospital, but give em credit, damn it. Both these men…they gave it their all! They gave it their all, and it's a damn shame that we can't call them both the X-Treme Champion, cuz they both damn sure fought like champions.

DD: (Brief silence) SHUT UP, Johnson!

VJ: Well there they go. These fans giving these men the standing ovation that they so rightfully deserve. Up next, ladies and gentlemen, it's the Main Event. The Universal Title will be on the line in a Best of the Best match. It's T Money defending against Rick Bruiser. The Black Blood/Too Xtreme rivalry continues. Ladies and gentlemen, let's show you how this one came about!

Ahmad: What the f*ck is he doing, yo?

Magdra: Wha…(scoffs) You f*cking Arabs! What does it look like he's doing?!

Ahmad: I dunno. He looks like you getting ready to molest little boys…

Magdra: Yeah…(swings at Ahmad) shut the f*ck up! You got the pipe?

Ahmad: (Holds it into the air)

Magdra: (Sinister laugher) GOOD! Now you know what to do. Just like Ice Cube! We beat his ass, and we make sure he knows not to f*ck with us again. You ready?

Ahmad: Yeah!

Magdra: Aight…on 3! 1…2…3! Let's go!!!

DD:OH MY GOD!!!

VJ: Ice Cube out of no where with a led pipe to the back of Ahmad! And now The Magdra...Ahmad and The Magdra are down! And sometones gotta stop Ice Cube before he seriously hurts someone!

DD:I am about to go back there and stop him!

VJ: Shutup Dave! And now Ice Cube is picking up Ahmad...He hand cuffing Ahmad to a pipe! And now he has that lead pipe again! Hes beating his face in! MY GOD!! His nose is broken! Someone stop this!

DD: HE SAID HE'D SEE HIM FRIDAY, VINCE!!! IT'S NOT FRIDAY!!! DAMN IT! IT'S NOT FRIDAY!!!!!!

VJ: And..No! ICE BREAKER on Ahmad! And now The Magdra getting up...He just picked up a piece of wood! Noo! He swung and almost took Ice Cube's head off but Ice Cube ducked! Ice Cube with a kick to the mid section! MY GOD!! He just used that lead pipe like a baseball bat and hit The Magrda in the side of the face..And look at The Magdra..He did not fall! He is standing their dazed! ICE BREAKER!! He just took off The Magdras head with the ICE BREAKER!! Whats this!? Ice Cube tying The Magdra's feet in a rope! And Ice Cube left...

DD: Whats that fool doing!?

VJ: I donno, wait, Ice Cube just pulled up in a brand new Mustang Cobra! He tied the rope to the back of the Mustang! No! Don't do it Ice Cube! Don't do it!

DD: Stop! I'm gonna bust a cap in his ass!

VJ: Ice Cube just opened the window and stuck his head out..

Ice Cube: Go back to Afganistand motherfucker! Take your camel riding manager with you motherfucker!

VJ: Ice Cube has snapped! And he just got out again! He is walking back over to Ahmad! He unhandcuffed him! Thank God! Thank..NO!!!! He just handcuffed Ahmad to The Magrda! He hopped in the Mustang! HE FLOORED IT!!! Ice Cube!! NO!!!!

DD: He can't do that! Arrest that man!

VJ: Ice Cube drove out of the arena with The Magrda and Ahmad being dragged! Whats wrong with him! Someone make him stop!!

VJ: Well, ladies and gentlemen…FINALLY!! After all we have seen tonight…it's the Main Event. After all the chaos, all the carnage, the Universal Title is on the line, and Dave will you listen to this crowd response for Rick Bruiser?!?!

DD: Heh! Well…this is California!

VJ: This crowd is solidly behind the challenger here, Dave! That could be an omen!

DD: Now don't be bringing that gypsy talk into this match! This is a wrestling match, and T Money is the greatest wrestler in this industry right now until somebody can prove him wrong!

VJ: Well so far tonight, Too Xtreme is 0-1 against Black Blood…as we've got heated words in the center of the ring. It's 2/3 falls, and we're starting off with a submission match…and this thing is turning into a shoving match now! Ladies and gentlemen…you can just feel the intensity between…

DD: OOOOH!!! What..did you see that Vince?!

VJ: Bruiser…Bruiser just slapped the taste outta the mouth of T Money…OH! AND T MONEY GOES RIGHT AFTER HIM!!!! T MONEY…trying to get at the left leg of Bruiser…driving the challenger back to the buckle! T Money, must be anxious to avenge what happened to him Friday night at the hands of Rick.

DD: What? Bruiser attacks T Money from behind and all of a sudden that means he's sposed to be coming out on top in this one?

VJ: He made T Money tap!

DD: bull pucky! T Money can tap and tap until your mom comes come, Vince! If it ain't a match, it don't matter!

VJ: Referee Jonathan trying to separate these 2 men. Money's got Bruiser's leg all tied up in the ropes….

DD: He'll break it, Vince. He's vicious, ya know.

VJ: Yeah well…Jonathan finally able to get T Money to break…man! This crowd does not like the Champion…OH!!!!!! BUT THEY LIKE THAT!!!!! BRUISER JUST EXPLODED OUT OF THE BUCKLE WITH A CLOTHESLINE ON T MONEY!!!!! Money just knocked outta his boots…

DD: Time out, Vince! Time out!

VJ: Time out my ass!!! Right hand by Bruiser just rocked T Money! And another one sends the Champion back into the ropes! Irish whip now…T Money off the ropes…

DD: Wait a minute…wait…OOOOOOH!!!!!!!

VJ: GORILLA PRESS SLAM BY BRUISER!!!! T MONEY JUST DROPPED CROTCH FIRST ACROSS THE TOP ROPE!!! And this crowd is ballistic! It's total Pandemonium inside the Staples Center!!! And watch Bruiser!!!! Bruiser measuring T Money! Bruiser…he charges in…AND SENDS T MONEY UP, OVER AND OUT OF THE RING WITH A BIG CLOTHESLINE, AND THE CHALLENGER IS A HOUSE OF FIRE!!!!!!! Listen to this, Dave!!!!

DD: Now wait…CALM DOWN, DAMN IT!!! Now Vince, you know I like Bruiser but that had to be the biggest bunch of cheating I've seen in a long time! This is not some kinda street fight! Save that crap for the 2^nd fall! This is a WRESTLING match! Rick Bruiser should WRESTLE the man! Right now he's acting like some back alley hobo fighting over the last chicken bone!

VJ: Well Bruiser…T Money walked right into the post!!!

DD: OH!! T!!!

VJ: T Money…he is out of it! This 1^st fall is no DQ, no count out! Submission rules. You must make your opponent submit in order to win…

DD: And that's exactly what T was doing. You see that fine work…THERE IT IS AGAIN! LOOK AT THAT!

VJ: Bruiser caught off guard with a single leg takedown…and look at T Money! Money dragging the challenger towards the post! Dragging Bruiser…what's he gonna do…OH!!!!!!!! He slams Bruiser's leg hard against the steel!!! And again!!!! T Money…his target appears to be the left leg of Rick Bruiser!

DD: Yeah! He's good at breaking some leg. Just ask Rage! HAHA!

VJ: Yeah well…wait a minute. T Money…don't tell me…he's not…not a ringpost figure four!!!!

DD: Yeah, Vince!!! Hey Rick…you wanna see a REAL tap out! Well here it is…WAIT!!!!

VJ: OH MY!!!!! BOOT TO THE FACE BY BRUISER JUST SENT T MONEY FLYING OVER THE GUARDRAIL!!!!! T MONEY JUST KNOCKED INTO THE FRONT ROW!!!! T…

DD: Watch these idiots in LA, T! Last week, you already got jacked once!

VJ: Stop it! Bruiser showing his power, and T Money…he can't believe what just happen. And now here comes Bruiser. Rick Bruiser is headed out there after T Money…where's he going, Dave?

DD: Site Seeing!

VJ: Site Seeing! T Money…he's running! T Money trying to make a getaway through the crowd!

DD: You calling him a coward?

VJ: HELL YEAH I'M CALLING HIM A COWARD! And Rick Bruiser's gonna have something to say about that! Bruiser following Money through the crowd!!! Rick Bruiser is on T Money's heels!

DD: Um…faster, T! Faster! He's behind you!

VJ: Faster! T Money…trying to force his way through this capacity crowd, but here comes Bruiser! Here comes Bruiser…CLOTHESLINE NAILS T MONEY FROM BEHIND!!!!!! T Money is down!!! T Money is down…and Bruiser is all over him!!! Rick Bruiser!!!! Rick Bruiser is beating the hell outta the Champion…

DD: No fair!!! These fans are trying to get shots in too! That old lady just tried to hit T in the head with her walker! Did you see that, Johnson?

VJ: Stop it! Rick Bruiser hammering away on the Champion…what's that now? Bruiser just grabbed…a bottle of beer from a fan! Rick Bruiser…

DD: Damn it, Vince! This ain't no time to be drinking on the job.

VJ: I don't think he's gonna drink it. T Money back to his feet…AND BRUISER JUST--DAMN!!!! Bruiser shattered that bottle over the head of T Money! He went down like he'd been shot!!!

DD: Oh…I think he's dead, Vince!

VJ: Referee Jonathan out there to make sure that no submissions occur in the crowd…and Money's bleeding. T Money has been lacerated by that glass bottle!

DD: Just thank the Lord this isn't 1^st Blood and get outta there, T! Get it back to the ring…oh no!

VJ: Bruiser has him by the hair now! The blood beginning to drip from the forehead of T Money! What's Bruiser gonna do with him? Rick Bruiser…Irish whip sends Money crashing hard into that barrier!!!! Rick Bruiser beating T Money's ass all over the Staples Center! He's got him once again! Rick Bruiser…what's he gonna…another Irish whip…T Money with the reversal…Money…oh!!! HARLEM…HARLEM DEATHLOCK---BRUISER COUNTERS WITH A LOW BLOW!!!!!!

DD: CHEATER!!!!

VJ: Bruiser countered the Deathlock with a low blow!!!! Boot to the midsection now…Bruiser has Money…oh no!

DD: Vince, he can't do this! He can't do…NOOOOO!!!

VJ: OH NO…PILEDRIVER ON THE CONCRETE FLOOR!!!! T MONEY HAS JUST BEEN OBLITERATED!!! AND THIS CROWD HAS GONE NUTS!!!!!!!

DD: WHAT?!

VJ: I said this crowd has gone nuts!!!!

DD: Oh…I can't even hear you! Oh T!!!

VJ: T Money has been spiked, and Rick Bruiser is standing tall! Bruiser is standing tall, and watch this now. Bruiser…with T Money's limp body draped over his shoulder…and he's carrying him back to ringside. Bruiser carrying the Champion back to the ring.

DD: Damn it, Vince…you have gotta do something about this!

VJ: T Money being carried back down here. He is out like a light, and Bruiser is firmly in control! Bruiser…Money just dumped over the barricade, and now it's just a matter of time!!! We're just moments away from the end of the fall!

DD: But he's gotta make him submit!!! The match can't end if T Money doesn't tap!

VJ: Yeah, but if he can't answer the ref's count, the match will be stopped.

DD: What?!?! What kinda dumb ass rule is that??! How the hell…

VJ: That's the way things work! Bruiser tossing Money into the ring, and if he can lock in a submission hold and T Money doesn't respond, then this fall will be over! Rick Bruiser will be awarded the fall and the opportunity to go 2 straight!

DD: That's gotta be the dumbest rule…OH NO!!!!!! Vince…

VJ: Bruiser just grabbed a chair! Bruiser…he just tossed a chair into the ring!!! Bruiser may be ready to finish this!

DD: Vince…not STEEEEEEEL!!!!

VJ: Bruiser usually more technically sound than this. I expected him to spend more time working a body part…setting Money up for that sharpshooter…oh he's gonna try and break the leg!

DD: Now Vince, this is going too far!!!

VJ: Bruiser putting the chair on the ankle…and I think I know exactly what we're fixing to see here!

DD: Damn it, Vince. I like Bruiser…I demand that you shoot his ass right now!

VJ: Stop it!!! That chair placed on the ankle of T Money, and Bruiser's headed up top! Rick Bruiser is headed to the top…all 300 lbs…oh! T Money's up!!! T Money…

DD: IT'S A MIRACLE!!!!!

VJ: T Money's got the chair! Money's got the chai---DAMN IT HE TOOK HIS HEAD OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!! T MONEY…

DD: STEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

VJ: T Money…how the hell is he standing, Dave!!!! Tell me how the hell T Money is standing after that piledriver in the crowd?!

DD: Because he's a bad mamma jamma, Vince!! You wanna talk about heart and determination, you can't spell heart without TEEEEEEE MONEY!!!! He's my hero, Vince!

VJ: Rick Bruiser just got his brains knocked out…T Money still out of it after…oh wait a second now. T Money…he is not gonna…

DD: Oh yeah!With his own hold, Vince!!!! He's gonna beat him with his own hold!

VJ: T Money…he's got Bruiser locked in! Don't tell me…T Money…SHARPSHOOTER!!!!!!!!!! SHARPSHOOTER ON BRUISER!!! SHARPSHOOTER ON BRUISER!!!! T MONEY'S GOT IT CINCHED IN!

DD: RING THE BELL! RING THE BELL! RING THE BELL!!!!!

VJ: T Money…this could be it right here! Bruiser…the wise thing to do would be to give up before any real damage can be done! He's got 2 more falls to make it up!

DD: Ya know, the end of the World must be near cuz for once in your life, you're actually starting to make sense!!!! TAP. RICK! TAP!!!!!!

VJ: Rick Bruiser…desperately trying to hang in there…I dunno if he can! I don't…wait a minute! Is he gonna…Bruiser's gonna try and break it! Rick bruiser…

DD: no way, Johnson! Nobody breaks the Sharpshooter! Nobody!

VJ: Well if anybody knows that hold it's Rick Bruiser…and right now he's using that upper body strength to bridge out of that hold! Bruiser…T Money trying to hold on! Can T…

DD: More pressure T!!! Like you’re the Toolman! (Grunting) HO HO HO HO HO!!! HO HO HO HO! NOOOO!!!

VJ: THE HOLD HAS BEEN BROKEN!!!! RICK BRUISER BROKE THE HOLD!!!!! And T Money cannot believe it! The Champion is in a state of shock..WAIT A MINUTE! BRUISER'S LOCKING IT IN NOW! RICK BRUISER HAS THE HOLD LOCKED IN ON THE MAT…

DD: GOOD GOLLY MISS MOLLY, NOT AGAIN!!!

VJ: Bruiser…BRUISER HAS IT!!! SHARPSHOOTER ON T MONEY!!! SHARPSHOOTER!!! THIS IS THE SAME MOVE HE USED FRIDAY NIGHT!!!!! T MONEY…SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF HIS LUNGS!!!! THIS HAS GOTTA BE IT, DAVE!!!! THERE'S NO WAY!!! T MONEY…damn it, he got to the ropes! Money just too close to the ropes, and he had better thank his lucky stars cuz if that was the center of the ring, he woulda tapped!

DD: (Breathing heavily) You know what you're problem is, Vince?

VJ: What?

DD: You got no faith!!! Why don't you go to church or something…get some religion in your life!

VJ: Well Bruiser can't believe Money was able to escape. T Money back to his feet, and Bruiser's waiting on him. Rick Bruiser…INVERTED ATOMIC DROP!!!!! T Money staggers back into the buckle, and Bruiser follows him in with a clothesline!!!! We might hafta change Rick's name to Kobe the way he's got T Money bouncing around this arena. Watch this now! Irish whip by Bruiser…T MONEY GOES CRASHING HARD INTO THE BUCKLE ONCE AGAIN!!!!! T Money…he may be on his last leg here, Dave! He had better do something fast…

DD: Watch out, T! He's behind you! HE'S BEHIND YOU!!!!

VJ: Bruiser measuring him once again…OH!!!! T Money ducks the clothesline…HARLEM DEATHLOCK!!!!!!!!!

DD: HAHAHA!!!!!!! IT'S OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!

VJ: T MONEY'S GOT IT LOCKED IN!!! THE HARLEM DEATHLOCK!!! BRUISER…BRUISER TRYING EVERYTHING HE CAN TO ESCAPE THIS HOLD…T MONEY HAS IT LOCKED IN PERFECTLY!!!! PERFECTLY EXECUTED…AND BRUISER HAS NO CHOICE BUT TO TAP!!!!! HE TAPPED OUT, DAMN IT!!!

DD: HAHA!!! Vince!!! Who's Da Champ?! Who's Da Champ?! Who's Da Champ?!

VJ: T Money…give him credit. He pulled that one out of his ass!

DD: Eww!

VJ: Oh grow up! T Money with the Harlem Deathlock outta nowhere was able to win this thing. The score is now Money 1! Bruiser 0! It's do or die for Rick Bruiser, and where the HELL is T Money going?

DD: Well…it's Street Fight time…so maybe he's taking it to the streets, Vince…

VJ: Oh damn! No!!! T Money…he just grabbed the damn sledgehammer!!! He just pulled the sledgehammer out from under the ring…c'mon, damn it!!! Ref!!!!

DD: Listen, Johnson, it's anything goes! No holds barred! And right now T Money's fixing to hit Bruiser so hard his brains are gonna end up in China!

VJ: Bruiser is down in the ring, and T Money is stalking him with that hammer! C'mon ref…don't let him do this! Don't…T!! No! No!!! OOOO---BRUISER MOVED!!!!!!!

DD: What?!!

VJ: Bruiser just barely able to roll outta the way…AND AGAIN! AND AGAIN! T MONEY IS DETERMINED TO HIT BRUISER WITH THAT HAMMER AS THE CHALLENGER ROLLS OUT TO THE FLOOR.

DD: See, Vince! And you were ready to write T Money out after the 1^st fall! He smells blood now! It's just a matter of--WHAT THE HELL?!

VJ: OH!!!!! BRUISER JUST BUSTED…IS THAT A TOILET SEAT?!

DD: Wha…WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT DOING UNDER THE RING?!

VJ: To Pete if I know! T Money is down in the ring…and now here comes Bruiser!!! Bruiser back into the ring…AND HE'S GOT STEEL, DAVE!!! BRUISER'S GOT STEEL!

DD: Damn it, Vince! You know Steel and Money don't mix!!!!

VJ: T Money trying to get back to his feet, but Bruiser's waiting on him! Bruiser…

DD: T!!! Watch it, T! Watch it…DAMN!!!!!!

VJ: BRUISER…BIG CHAIRSHOT RIGHT TO THE FACE OF T MONEY!!!! You wanna talk about a face-off! There's the cover…1…2…T Money able to kickout before the 3!!! Bruiser…he's in total shock!!!

DD: I keep telling ya, Vince! T Money's got heart! Guts! Determination! He reminds me of me before the ills of the world got me down!

VJ: Well…(trying not to laugh) I'm not even gonna comment on that. Bruiser's got that chair again. T Money trying to get back to his feet, as Bruiser towers over him with that chair! The 1^st one couldn't get the job done…I've got a feeling this one might do it…ye--OH!!!!!!!! LOW BLOW BY MONEY!!!!! T MONEY WITH A CHEAP SHOT!!!! What a no good, lousy…Money off the ropes…AND CONNECTS WITH THE MONEY KICK!!!!!! Money Kick to the back of the head of Rick Bruiser…and this crowd does not like that!!!!

DD: Vince, who gives a damn what these people like! T Money…SHUT UP YOU IDIOTS!

VJ: T Money with the Money Kick, I'm surprised he's not gonna attempt a cover there. He's got Bruiser by the hair once again…don't tell me he's gonna try that ridiculous Spinnerooni again.

DD: Hey! He's been practicing!

VJ: Please. T Money backs Bruiser into the buckle…HARD knife edge chop!!!!! Money just lighting up the chest of the challenger…AND AGAIN!!!! T Money…GEEZ!

T Money: THIS IS IT!!!!! (Crowd boos)

DD: OH! You heard that, vince?! This is it?

VJ: Well it could very well be. T Money…setting Bruiser up on the top rope…yes this is it.

DD: Uh huh! All that talk about Bruiser being the new Champion! Bruiser being the rightful Universal Champ! Ya wanna know where it got ya, Rick?! It got your ass beat 2 straight falls by the RULER OF THE UNIVERSE!!!! TEEEE MONEY!

VJ: Bruiser is out of it on the top, and now Money headed up there with him. I'm suspecting some sort of superplex…

DD: It's a shame, cuz I always liked Rick. But you gotta know that…HEY WHAT THE HELL?!

VJ: OH!!! BRUISER WITH A LOW BLOW OF HIS OWN!!!! BRUISER CAUGHT T MONEY…

DD: Damn it, Vince!!! He cannot do that!

VJ: No Holds Barred, bitch! And now watch Rick…what the hell is he…Rick bruiser has T Money on the…oh no! He's not…Bruiser…

DD: Wait a minute, Vince! He can't do this! He can't do…

VJ: Oh wait!! Wait…MMMYYYYYYY GOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!!! MY…SON OF A BITCH!!! THE RIPPER FROM THE TOP ROPE!!!!!!! THE DAMN RIPPER FROM THE TOP!!!! GOD AS MY WITNESS HE'S DEAD! T MONEY IS DEAD!!!!!! THERE'S THE COVER…1…2…3!!!!!!!!!

DD: See, Vince! I told ya he could do it! You gotta start listening to me more often!!!!

VJ: Oh will you…

DD: Shut up, bitch! I said it all along! Too Xtreme 4eva suckas!

VJ: (Shakes his head) Well folks, we are tied at 1! And now it's time for the ladder match…and thankfully for T Money the belt wasn't hung before the match, so that'll give him some much needed rest time. Folks…unbelievable! Let's show you that move one more time! The Ripper from the top rope!

VJ: Well ladies and gentlemen…there's the bell, and the 3^rd and final fall is underway. It's tied at 1 a piece, and Bruiser's…T Money still out of it after that Ripper! T Money…

DD: Rick, you worthless crackhead! Don't just sit there! Get the ladder! Get the ladder!

VJ: And that's exactly what he's doing! Rick Bruiser headed out to the floor…and he's going for the ladder. Ladies and gentlemen…I guess you could say it's all over but the crying. Rick Bruiser…he's got the ladder…and he's bringing it into the ring. Rick Bruiser has just introduced the ladder into this match…T Money still has not moved!!!!

DD: Oh…T!!!! If you're alive, you'd better do something quick! You're fixing to get belt-jacked for real this time!

VJ: The ladder has been set up in the center of the ring…and now Bruiser's making the climb! Bruiser's gonna do it, Dave! He's gonna do it…

DD: no, no..I mean yes, yes! I mean…damn it I dunno what I mean anymore!!!!

VJ: Bruiser halfway up the ladder…T Money just starting to come to, and it's pretty much academic from here! Bruiser…just a couple more rungs is gonna do it!!! Rick Bruiser…he's GOT IT!!!! BRUISER'S GOT IT, DAVE!!!!!

DD: Wha…he can't pull it down?

VJ: bruiser trying to pull the belt down from that h---OOOH WAIT!!!! T MONEY SHOVED THE LADDER! MONEY SHOVED THE LADDER OVER…AND LOOK AT BRUISER!!!! BRUISER HANGING FROM…BRUISER'S HANGING FROM THE HOOK!!!!!!

DD: Are you kidding me?

VJ: T Money shoved the ladder out from under him---AWWW SON OF A BITCH!!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!

DD: OH NO…T!!!!!!

VJ: Bruiser just dropped from those rungs…all 300 lbs right across the back of T Money! What a match this has been folks!!! Definitely a match of the year candidate!!!

DD: Whew! You ain't lying there, Johnson! This is a helluva match!!!

VJ: Man. And T Money's taking all kinds of punishment in this one! And now look at Bruiser! Bruiser's got that ladder…

DD: Oh wait a second! No---OH!!!

VJ: BRUISER!!! HE JUST DROVE THAT LADDER RIGHT INTO THE RIBS OF T MONEY…AND AGAIN!!! AND AGAIN!!! RICK BRUISER HAS LOST IT!!! HE HAS ABSOLUTELY LOST IT, FOLKS!!!

DD: Alright, alright Rick! Calm down! Forget about him and get the belt!

VJ: bruiser…ONE MORE TIME!!! Drives that ladder right into the sternum of T Money!!! Bruiser…he is pissed off, folks, and now what's he doing? Bruiser dragging Money…setting him up between…oh no.

DD: What's he doing, Vince?

VJ: Bruiser…he just sandwiched T Money's head between that ladder…c'mon Rick! You may be taking this a little too far!!! Rick…he's got that chair!!!! Rick Bruiser…c'mon! C'mon Rick!!!

DD: NOOOOO…

VJ: OH!!! DAMN IT!!!! BRUISER!!!! BRUISER POUNDING T MONEY!!!!!! POUNDING T MONEY LIKE A RAILROAD SPIKE!!!!!! THIS CROWD IS ABSOLUTELY GOING CRAZY!!!!!!!!!

DD: How can these people cheer violence like this?! Are they crazy?!

VJ: Hell yeah they are! And T Money has just been obliterated in that ring!!! And Bruiser's still not done, it looks like. Rick…

DD: I'm telling ya, Rick! Go up and get the title! You've got the match won…

VJ: Scoop up and a slam by Bruiser…and now he's setting the ladder up in the corner! The ladder…it's way outta position. What the hell is Bruiser doing?

DD: He's being a faggot! Bruiser, damn it if you've got a brain in that body of yours…you'll forget about T Money and grab the damn title!!!

VJ: Money is a bloody mess! And Bruiser is climbing to the top of that ladder…Bruiser…what the hell is he gonna do?! Bruiser…he's well over 300 lbs…don't tell me he's gonna dive!

DD: No…he can't do that, Vince! That…

VJ: Bruiser on top! T Money down on the mat! Bruiser…what on earth is he gonna---GOOOOD GOD!!!!!!!!!!! GOOD GOD!!! 450 SPLASH!!!!! BRUISER WENT FOR…THAT'S THE BIGGEST 450 I'VE EVER SEEN, AND THERE WAS NOBODY HOME!!!! T Money just Barely able to get outta the way of that one! And this crowd…they can't believe it!

DD: Well that's what his dumb ass gets! He had the title won right there! I told him to grab the belt…

VJ: T Money has the sledgehammer! T Money has that damn sledgehammer! Hey Rick!!! RICK…OH!!!!!! RIGHT TO THE FACE!!!!!!! T MONEY JUST BLASTED BRUISER RIGHT IN THE FACE WITH THAT SLEDGEHAMMER…AND I WOULD SUGGEST THAT IS ALL!!!!!

DD: You damn right that's all!

VJ: Bruiser is down!!!! T Money…still trying to clear the cobwebs…and now he's setting up that ladder! T Money…the ladder is set up, and now he's gonna make the climb! T Money climbing the ladder…rung…by rung…by rung…

DD: Vince, he's gonna do it!!! He's gonna do it…

VJ: Bruiser starting to move! Bruiser starting to…

DD; HE GOT IT!!!!!!

VJ: DAMN!!!!

VJ: T MONEY HANGS ON BY THE SKIN OF HIS DAMN TEETH!!!!!! DAMN IT!!!!

DD: Ahh shut the f*ck up, Johnson! Bruiser had his chance, he blew it! LONG LIVE TEEEEEEEE MONEY!!!!!!!!!!

VJ: T Money still the Universal Champion…and I can't believe it! What a matchup that was, folks.

(The lights go out and "Dragula" by Rob Zombie hits the PA....Scarlet KV...Kammy...Darkest Desires..Venom..Reaver..And The Black Angel of Death apear at the top of the ramp..)

VJ: This does not look good for Rick Bruiser! They all are running to the ring...My God! They are ambushing Rick Bruiser! And now T-Money joining in! This is TEN vs ONE!! Make it stop!

DD: POWER IN NUMBERS!! YA BLACK BLOOD!!

VJ: And now Scarlet KV told Venom and Reaver to hold Rick Bruiser! KV is in his face! NO!! Bruiser just kicked KV in the face! And now he just punched Reaver and Venom! KV, Reaver, and Venom are all down! No! Now T-Money tackles Bruiser and begins to beat his face in!

DD: Don't mess with Black Blood! This is what he gets for helping Ice Cube anbd Lightning on Friday night when Black Blood attacked them!

(Just then "My Hero" hits the PA..Ice Cube runs down to the ring with a frozen lamb leg and slides in)

DD: The Psychopath is back! CALL THE ASYLUM!!

VJ: Ice Cube in the ring! He just grabed Kammy's whip! HE JUST KNOCKED HER HEAD OF WITH THE FROZEN LAMB LEG! Now he took Darkest Desires whip! He droped the lamb leg and has two whips! He just whiped Darkest Desires in the face and now shes down! Now he drops the whips and picks up the lamb leg again...T-Money still on Bruiser.. Ice Cube's gone crazy! Now the Black Angel of Death just grabed a whip off the ground and whipped Ice Cube in the back..Cube droped to his knees! Uh oh! This does not look good for Bruiser and Ice Cube!

(A lightning bolt strikes and "Ride the Lightning" hits the PA..Lightning runs down to the ring.)

VJ: Lightning jsut speared The Black Angel of Death as he was about to whip Ice Cube again!

DD: No!! Stupid Lightning! No!!

VJ: And now Lightning goes strait to KV! He tackles KV!! He just picked im up now! LIGHTNING BOLT!! LIGHTNING BOLT!!

DD: NO!!!

VL: And now Lightning ALL OVER KV!! Hes on him like a fly on..

DD: Shit! Did you see that!?

VJ: Ice Cube taking T-Money off Bruiser..ICE BREAKER!!! Now hes got Tristram...He threw him into the rope...RIGHT INTO THE ICE BREAKER!!!

DD: Come on Black Blood!

VJ: Venom and Reaver up..And they are looking at Ice Cube..Lightning STILL BEATING KV!! Only Venom and Reaver left! Ice cube just jumped out of the ring..He grabbed two cinder blocks from under the ring! He just got in..MY GOD!! DOUBLE HEAD SHOT WITH THE CINDER BLOCKS!! Thats not possible! Now Ice Cube helping up Bruiser...And he is leaning him against the rope..Ice Cube don't! Do hurt him! He is defencless! Wait, he just picked up T-Money..Ice Cube pushed T-Money into Rick Bruiser...THE RIPPER!!! RICK BRUISER JUST HIT T-MONEY WITH THE RIPPER!! Thanks to Lightning and Ice Cube Rick Bruiser is standing and ALL TEN MEMBERS of Black Blood!! Black Blood has been destroyed by three men!! What a way to end a PPV!! This is insane! I can't imagine what Black Blood is going to do on FNS to retaliate against this attack! MY GOD!! For Deleware Dave I am Vince Johnson saying GOODNIGHT!!

("Whoa" by Black Rob hits the PA and Ice Cube and Lightning help Rick Bruiser out of the ring..)