11/26/00-Live from Seattle, WA in the Key Arena

11/26/00-Live from Seattle, WA in the Key Arena!!!!

 

(The NFWA logo flashes on the screen and then fades away. A highlight video plays on the screen hyping up Tonight’s matches. The opening video for Overkill plays and the camera opens up to the live crowd in the Key Arena cheering and holding up signs as pyro shoots up the aisle and explodes by the Overkill set. When the pyro stops, the camera pans the crowd and we see signs such as “Ride the Lightning”, “If Ya Smell what the Rock is Cookin”, “Anarchy Rulz” and “Bring back Lassie”. The camera then cuts down to the announcer’s table with Vince Johnson and Delaware Dave)

 

VJ: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Seattle, WA, home of the Seahawks, the Sonics, and now home to NFWA Overkill!!!! I’m Vince Johnson alongside Delaware Dave, and tonight is a very special night, isn’t that right, Dave?

 

DD: Yeah, the 1st PPV of it’s kind and I have to spend the night with you…hey Johnson, get that silly look off of your face! The Daveness doesn’t swing that way!!!

 

VJ: What are talking about???! Ladies and gentlemen, we have 3 8-man elimination matches for you tonight as the NFWA’s top superstars attempt to qualify for a 12 man Royal Rumble, the winner going on to face the World Champion next month at Apocalypse now! But that’s not all, because we’ve also got a battle for control of the NFWA, Commish Firestorm battles Prez Panther. This one has been brewing up for a while and it will all explode tonight!

 

DD: Yeah, and don’t forget the I-C Title match! It’s the Rock and Lightning!

 

VJ: What a spectacular PPV this will be! Who knows what will go down tonight at Overkill…

 

(Camera cuts back to the Dynasty’s dressing room where we see Krazed, Tina, Chyna and Prez Panther sitting down. Panther looks sick)

 

Chyna: Panther…I’m sorry!!! I mean…if I would’ve known that you’d get sick I never would’ve come to FNS last week.

 

Prez: (Trying not to throw up) You gave me a stomach flu!!!!!!

 

Chyna: It was an accident! I didn’t mean it! Do you forgive me?

 

Prez: I…I…get the bucket!!!!!!!!!!!

 

(Krazed picks up a bucket and Panther vomits inside of it. Some of it gets on Krazed so he goes to the bathroom and washes his hands)

 

Prez: Chyna…if you worked here I would fire your ass!!!!! I mean that!

 

Chyna: (Laughing) I’ll go get you some soup. (Gets up and leaves, leaving Prez and Tina in the room)

 

Tina: That’s a real shame that you had to get sick the same day the fed was on the line. I know we haven’t been getting along too well over the last couple of months, but I just wanted to let you know…

 

Prez: Bitch, shut the hell up and hold the bucket!!!!

 

Tina: (Punches Panther in the stomach) Asshole!!!!!!!

 

(We hear crashes outside of the room. Prez Panther and Tina run out into the hallway and we see 2 masked men running away. Chyna and Krazed are lying unconscious on the ground as officials run up)

 

VJ: My God!!!!!!!!! Those masked men have attacked Krazed and Chyna back in the locker room!!! Who…who was that, Dave?!

 

DD: I don’t know, Vince!

 

VJ: This night is starting out crazy already!!! Why did they do that?

 

Team 3:Sammy T., Olympus, Shyanne and Posidin Vs Team 4:Shark, Staks, Killa and "Da Man" Lance  

 

(The lights flash pink over the arena and “Party Up” by DMX starts up over the PA system. Shyanne walks down the aisle holding the Women’s Title belt over her head and the crowd cheers. Shyanne climbs into the ring and the music dies down. The theme from 2001 A Space Oddessy begins to play. Posidin and Olympus appear in the aisle and walk down to the ring. Their music stops as “Sweetness” Sammy T.’s theme begins to play. The crowd gives a mixed reaction as Sammy T. walks to the ring accompanied by Double C Chris Cannon. When he gets to the ring, he talks strategy with his teammates as his music dies down. Suddenly Staks runs from the crowd and attacks Olympus)

 

DD: What an idiot!!! Get him out of there, Vince!!!

 

VJ: Staks just ran out from the crowd and he’s going after Olympus…but he’s being attacked by the entire Team 3!!!! The mighty Olympus picks Staks up with ease!!!! He lifts him into the air…OH MY GOODNESS!!!! Staks has been launched back into the buckle by and he’s being hammered away upon by Posidin! Sammy T. just shoved Posidin aside and he’s getting his licks in now!

DD: I’m gonna tell him you said that about him! Sammy T. doesn’t like anything…especially on Staks…HAHA! Shyanne is beating up that loser now!!!!

VJ: Shyanne is nailing Staks with kicks to the midsection and now she and Sammy have Staks by the arms…double Irish whip and he walks right into a Storm Kick from Posidin and rolls to the floor!!! This crowd has exploded for Team 3 here tonight!!!

DD: Hey…how come they’re not Team 1?

(The lights start to flicker blue and Break Stuff starts up over the PA system. When the lights come back on, Killa and Lance are on the floor with Staks. Their music dies down when “Rush” by Tom Sawyer starts up over the PA. Smoke builds up in the aisle and blue lasers fan out as Shark walks down the aisle accompanied by Stacey Blitch. Shark meets his partners in the aisle and they huddle up to form a strategy for the match)

Ding Ding Ding!!!

VJ: Well Staks got a little bit of the action early, but now we’re officially underway!!!! Shark’s team is huddled up on the floor trying to come up with a gameplan..

DD: They’re scared!!!!!!!

VJ: They are not!

DD: Yes they are! Look at the sweat pouring off of Shark’s body!

VJ: I’d rather not…wait a minute! Sammy T. just climbed up on the ropes and…he’s calling out Shark!!!!

DD: I told you he was scared!!!! Look at the fear in his eyes! He calls himself the great white, but he’s moaning like a yellow bellied bastard!!!!!!!

VJ: Will you stop???? Shark is headed into the ring now!!!! It looks like it’s gonna be Shark and Sammy T!!!!!! Sammy cuts Shark off before he can get into the ring! T. is blasting him with stomps right to the back of the head…he’s all over him!!!! He picks Shark back up…right hand blocked…Shark connects with a Shark Bite!!!! Sammy goes for another right but it’s blocked again…Shark Bite once again! Shark with an overhand right just floored Sammy T! Shark picks him up…Irish whips him off the ropes…BIG BACK BODY DROP!!!!!!!!!!! Sammy T is hurt and he scurries over to the corner…he’s hiding behind Shyanne!!!! What an parasite!

DD: Hey, I can’t blame him though. Do you see that outfit Shyanne is wearing? Wow…maybe after this match me and her can get to know each other a little better.

VJ: Don’t let Toronto Terri hear you say that!

DD: Who’s that, you’re mother? I thought I told you that I don’t date men, Vince.

VJ: Sammy T. tags Shy in and just shoves her into Shark! Shark is over 300lbs…this isn’t fair! This isn’t fair at all! Shyanne is walking up to the former IC Champion…Shark doesn’t know what to do. He’s a gentlemen so he won’t hit her. Shark just went over to tag out but nobody wants to fight the Women’s Champion. I don’t think we’ve ever seen…GOOD GOD SHYANNE JUST KNOCKED SHARK’S HEAD OFF!!!!!!!

DD: Did you see that, Vince?!

VJ: Shark looks pissed off but he won’t hit her…Shyanne runs at him with a clothesline but Shark won’t go down…she jumps at him and she’s clawing away at the face of the former IC Champ…Shark doesn’t know what to do!!!!!

DD: Look out!!!

VJ: Stacey Blitch just ran into the ring and she pulls Shy off of Shark…Stacey with a right hand on Shyanne…Shyanne fires back on Stacey…uh oh!!!!!!!

DD: CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATFFFFFFFFFFFFIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGGHT!!!!!!!!!!

VJ: We’ve got a catfight on our hands!!!!!!!! Stacey and Shyanne are…

DD: Rip her clothes off!!!!!! Strip her…HAHAHAHA! Yes!!!!! I can see her bra!!!!!!

VJ: Calm down tiger. Shyanne is trying to rip the top off of Stacey and the ref is trying to get Stacey out of the ring…watch Double C just nailed Shark in the back of the head with the bell hammer!!!!!!!!! Sammy T. is in the ring and he rolls him up…he’s got a handful of tights…1…2…3!!!! Aww damn!!!!!!

Ding Ding Ding!!!

Announcer: Shark has been eliminated!!!!!

VJ: That’s 4 points for Sammy T. for eliminating the captain of the other team!!!!

DD: That was just too…SWEEEEEET!!!!!!!!

VJ: Shark is gone and Sammy T. is celebrating! The ref has been able to get Shyanne off of Stacey…Olympus and Posidin don’t look happy.

DD: F*ck them. It’s all because of Sweetness that they’re gonna get a win…what the hell???!

VJ: Posidin just caught Sammy T. with a Martial Arts kick!!!!

DD: That’s his partner!!

VJ: Shark, Posidin and Olympus proudly represent Total Devastation and blood is thicker than water. Olympus just picked up Sammy T…oh no!!!!!!! Powerbomb over the top rope to the floor!!!!!!! Sammy T. is out like a light!!!! Killa from behind just clipped the knee of Olympus!!! Killa clips him again and Olympus goes down! Killa hits off the ropes…he went for a clothesline but got caught by the throat with that big right hand!!! Olympus is fighting back to his feet…big chokeslam on Killa! Cover…1…2…Lance in there to break up the fall! Olympus picks Killa back up and backs him to the corner…the tag is made into Posidin! Posidin is burying those kicks right to the ribs of Killa! Posidin whips Killa to the buckle…he charges in for a clothesline but Killa catches him in the air…big powerslam!!!!!!! 1…2…Shyanne in the ring just kicked Killa right between the eyes!

DD: Hey…what if Shyanne wins the battle royal and goes on to Apocalypse Now to face the World Champ?

VJ: It could happen. Killa gets up and tags in Lance! This is our 1st time seeing Lance “Da Man” in action against the former Light Heavyweight Champion Posidin! They lock up…side headlock by Posidin on Lance…Lance shoves him to the ropes and gets knocked down with a shoulderblock! Posidin hits off the ropes and goes for a running moonsault but Lance gets the knees up! Lance hits off the ropes and drives him facefirst into the canvas with a bulldog…1…2…kickout by Posidin! Double C is up on the ring apron now…get him down from there!

DD: You can’t tell him what to do! He’ll come over here and lynch your punk ass!!!!!!!

VJ: He’ll do what??? Nevermind. Double C is having words with Posidin…Posidin just nailed him with the Storm Kick!!!!!!! Clothesline from behind by Lance knocked Posidin into the mighty Olympus…and we’ve got some trouble for the Light Heavyweight here!!

DD: Bye bye Lance.

VJ: Wait a minute! Double C  just grabbed Olympus’ ankle…Posidin nails him with a big right hand…OH!!!! Sammy T. once again uses the bell hammer to KO Posidin!!! OH NO!!!!!!!! He just low blowed Olympus with that hammer!!! What kind of man is he???! Lance tags Killa back in…Killa picks up the 7ft Olympus and drives him to the mat with a DDT!!!! He hooks the leg…1…2…3!!!!!!!!

Ding Ding Ding!!!!

Announcer: Olympus has been eliminated!!!!!

VJ: I can’t believe that Sammy T.!!!!!! He just caused his own teammate to be eliminated!!!

DD: Paybacks are hell, Olympus!

VJ: That’s 3 points for Killa and now Shyanne is in the ring! Let’s see how Shyanne fares again Killa.

DD: I’m putting $20 on Shyanne.

VJ: Put your money away! Shyanne is going head to head with Killa…Shyanne with a lockup…Killa with a go behind into a reverse hammerlock on Shy…Shyanne with a low blow on Killa!!!!! She hits off the ropes and catches him with a flying clothesline! Shyanne with the cover…1…2…powerful kickout by Shyanne! Shyanne drops an elbow right into the throat of Killa! 1…2…kickout by Killa! I can’t believe that Shyanne is doing that to the former World Champion!!!! She climbs up to the 2nd turnbuckle and she’s waiting for Killa to get back up…Shyanne takes to the skies…she misses with the high cross body!!!!

DD: Did you see her chest hit off the mat? It might be bruised. Maybe I should massage it for her.

VJ: Killa makes the tag into Staks…Staks picks up Shyanne and takes her over in a fisherman’s suplex…1…2…3!

Ding Ding Ding!!!

Announcer: Shyanne has been eliminated!!!!

DD: Don’t worry baby. You may have lost, but you’re always a winner in Delaware Dave’s bed.

VJ: She’s gonna kick your ass when she finds out you said that. Things aren’t looking good for Sammy T’s team.

DD: He’s surrounded by nothing but losers! NOTHING BUT LOSERS!!!!!

VJ: Sammy T. goes to the floor and he throws Posidin into the ring! That’s not fair! He hardly even knows where he is! Lance nails Posidin with a right hand right to the side of the jaw! There’s another one! Lance with an Irish whip to the ropes…dropkick right on the jaw of Posidin!!!! Lance is looking good in his debut! He climbs to the top rope…look out…OH!!! He just missed with the somersault senton!!!!!!!! Posidin tries to crawl over to the ropes…he’s trying for the tag…Lance hops back to his feet and he grabs Posidin by the tights…he tries for a German Suplex but Posidin counters with an elbow to the jaw!!! He drags Lance to the buckle…Tornado DDT!!!!!!!! He hooks the leg…1…2…Staks breaks up the pin!!!! It looks like a race to see who can get the tag now! Staks is reaching for the ropes to pull himself up while Posidin tries to tag in Sammy T….what in the living hell…

DD: Oh no! Sammy T’s hurt!!!!!!!

VJ: How did he get hurt when he was on the damn apron?!

DD: It happens to the best of them. It’s a common sports injury called bench butt. Michael Jordan used to get that all the time.

VJ: You jackass! Posidin was trying to get the tag but Sammy T. just fell to the floor holding his knee…Lance sneaks up behind Posidin but catches a boot to the stomach…Irish whip by Posidin…reversal by Lance into a Spine Buster type position…OH!!!!!!! Triple Team Stun Gun by Staks, Lance and Killa!!! Lance floats into the cover…1…2…3!!!!!!!!

Ding Ding Ding!!!

Announcer: Posidin has been eliminated!!!!!!

DD: Oh no!!!! Now it’s Sammy T. Vs the World…and he’s got Bench Butt!

VJ: There’s no such thing!!!! Sammy T. has been screwing with everyone in this match and now it’s time for him to get what he deserves…no he’s not! Double C just threw in the towel…he and Sammy T are leaving!

DD: He’s already in the lead in the point system, it’s time to call it a night!

VJ: What a chicken! I can’t believe that Sammy T. is actually gonna run away from this fight…but he won’t go very far!!!! It’s Shark!!!!!

DD: Get that overgrown guppy out of here!!!!!!! Now!!!!!!

VJ: Sammy T. has a look of shock on his face! He thought he was gonna make an escape but he’s stopped dead in his tracks by Shark! Double C just tried to hit Shark with the cane but Shark snatches it away…Double C goes down!!!! Sammy tried to run back to the locker room but Shark picks him up on his shoulder and he’s carrying him back down to the ring where Killa, Staks and Lance are waiting!!!!

DD: Call the Police!!!!

VJ: Sammy is in the ring…Killa lifts him high into the air…Gorilla Press Slam!!!!! Staks picks him back up…Lance is going to the top rope…Piledriver on Double C and Lance comes off the top with a Guillotine Legdrop! Killa is signaling for the end now! He picks up Sweetness…there’s the Takeover!!! The Takeover!!!!!! Killa with the cover…1…2…3!!!!!!!!!!

Ding Ding Ding!!!!!

Announcer: Here are your winners, the team of Staks, “Da Man” Lance and Killa!!!!!!!!!!

DD: Bullsh*t!!!!!! I’ve never seen cheating like this in my entire life!!!!

VJ: Yes, Sammy T. cheated throughout the entire match!!! He got exactly what was coming to him, and now in the point system here tonight, Killa is leading the pack with 8 points, Sammy T., Staks, and Lance each have 4!

DD: We’ve got a 3 way tie.

VJ: Yes, but the 12 wrestlers with the highest points go onto the battle royal. Backstage we have Kevin Taylor standing with the Rock!

(Camera cuts backstage where Kevin Taylor is standing with the Rock. The Rock has the I-C Title belt over his shoulder)

KT: Rock…

Rock: SHHHH! FINALLY…THE ROCK HAS COME BACK TO…SEATTLE!!!!!!!!

(The crowd cheers in the background. Suddenly an NFWA assistant walks in with a box)

Assistant: Rock…you got some gifts.

Rock: The Rock has…gifts?

Assistant: We…

Rock: Who’s sending the Rock gifts? Is it you sweetheart? The Rock sees you looking at him with those hungry eyes! He knows that you’re just dying to serve him up some of that Poontang pie!!!!!!!

Assistant: Actually…

Rock: Or was it you, Kevin Taylor? The Rock always knew you were a little cumsee cumsah!!!! Maybe it’s YOU who wants to serve the Rock up some of that Poontang Pie!

Assistant: Actually Lightning sent that.

Rock: Lightning? Are you saying that Lightning is trying to serve the People’s Champ some Poontang Pie?

KT: Just open the damn box!

Rock: (Gives Kevin Taylor the Rock Bottom and the assistant runs away. He picks up the box and opens it, and inside is a stone covered in ice. The Rock throws it to the ground and leaves for his match)

VJ: What the hell was that all about?

DD: I think somebody wants Rock to Ride the Lightning.

VJ: (Has a look of shock on his face) You’re disgusting!!!!!!!

(Camera suddenly cuts back to the locker room)

REPORTER:...(running with the camera man)..."ANARCHY...ANARCHY...what is going on here???!!"

ANARCHY:...WHATS GOING ON???..I TELL YOU WHATS GOING ON!!!...ANARCHY IS BACK!!!AND WITH A VENGENCE..YOU PISS ME OFF...YOU GET KNOCKED OUT!!!THIS WAS JUST A LITTLE MESSAGE TO ALL THE IDIOTS HERE IN THE NFWA..KIDDIE PLAY TIME IS OVER!!!WHAT HAPPENED TONIGHT IS JUST THE BEGINNING...KRAZED..SCARLET...AND OH YEAH..YOU ROCK...I WANT A PIECE OF ALL YOUR ASS'S...
AND LETS NOT FORGET LIGHTNING...AND THAT BIG PIECE OF SHIT..PANTHER...ONE BY ONE..ALL YOU WILL FELL WHAT ITS LIKE IN.."ANARCHYS HOUSE OF PAIN"...ANARCHY HAS SPOKEN!!!

Team 5:The Rock, Nightmare, Ice Cube and Reaper Vs Team 6:Thor, Anarchy, Big Foot, and #1 Hardcore

(The lights go out and suddenly a high beam shines on the Overkill set. Highway to Hell starts up over the PA system as Anarchy appears in the entrance, walks down the aisle. He picks up a chair from the timekeeper’s table, climbs into the ring and the music dies down. #1 Hardcore’s theme music plays over the PA system and the crowd cheers as Hardcore runs down the aisle and to the ring. He climbs on the top rope and does his signature somersault from the top rope into the ring. The lights go out and an animal crossing sign appears on the Panthertron. Then you hear roars and bloody footprints can be seen behind the sign. Then Lightning strkikes the sign as well as a monster puts three bloody claw marks through it. Then Metallica The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly plays throughout the arena. We hear a motorcycle rev up, and Big Foot rides out on his custom made Big Foot motorcycle. He rides out to the ring. The theme to 2001 A Space Oddessy plays over the PA system. Thor appears in the aisle and walks down to the ring. His music dies down as “For whom the Bell Tolls” starts up over the PA system. The lights go out and fireworks go off as Reaper rides his blue and gray Harley out to the ring. Green smoke begins to pour from the locker room and “Get on Top” starts up over the PA system. Fireworks go off in the aisle as Ice Cube walks out and heads to the ring. “Rush” by Tom Sawyer plays over the PA and the crowd cheers. Nightmare and Darkness appear in the aisle and walk down to the ring. “IF YA SMELL WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKIN!!!!!!!!!” The Rock’s theme music blasts over the PA system as the I-C Champ walks down the ramp with the belt over his shoulder. As he’s walking up the ramp, Asphyx and ZT run out from the locker room and attack him)

Ding Ding Ding!!!

VJ: What the…it’s the DDD/AWO!!!!!! Asphyx and ZT have assaulted the Rock in the aisle!!!! The DDD/AWO has struck the Rock! ZT is holding The Rock…OH!!! Asphyx just tried for a clothesline but hit ZT by an accident! Rock with the Rock Bottom on Asphyx…OH!!! Anarchy just blasted him with a steel chair!!!!!!

DD: All Hell is breaking loose!!!!!

VJ: Big Foot and Reaper are tearing into each other over here by us!!! Reaper just Irish whipped Big Foot, Big Foot reverses and sends Reaper crashing into the steel stairs!!!! Ice Cube and #1 Hardcore are going at it in the ring! There’s bad blood between everyone in this match! Hardcore clotheslines Ice Cube over the top rope to the floor…Hardcore drags Cube to the outside and slams his head into the guardrail!!!!!!

DD: Thor and Nightmare are fighting! I can’t believe that!!!!

VJ: Back up by the entrance Anarchy just slammed the Rock headfirst into the Panthertron!!!! He picks up Lightning for what looks like the Doomsday Drop…Rock breaks free and tries for the Rock Bottom…Anarchy counters with a right hand right to the brain of the Rock!

DD: He hit him right in the People’s Brain!!! Hahahah! What the f*ck???! Look out Vince!

VJ: OH MY GOODNESS!!! Big Foot just tried to run down Reaper over here with that bike of his but caught the ring bell right to the temple! It’s absolutely nuts out here! #1 Hardcore is battling in the crowd with Ice Cube!!! Hardcore tries for a side Russian Leg sweep…OH!!! Cube counters and slams him facefirst into the concrete…OH!!!! Ice Breaker on Reaper!!!!!!!

DD: What??? That’s your tag team partner you idiot!!!!!!!!

VJ: Ice Cube just nailed Reaper with the Ice Breaker and now he jumps over the guardrail…Cube is tearing into him with vicious right hands to the side of the head…Big Foot nails him with a clothesline. Big Foot is pounding away on Cube and watch Anarchy and the Rock in the aisle…OH!!! Rock goes headfirst into the steel stairs and Anarchy catches him with a kick straight South!!! Anarchy has Camera wires and now he’s strangling the life out of the Rock!!!! Anarchy is choking the life…

DD: Who’s on who’s side?

VJ: I forget! Everybody’s just beating on the 1st person they see! Nightmare just ran over here with a chair and he hit Delaware Dave!!!!!!! Why did you do that, Nightmare?! He swings at #1 Hardcore but misses…Hardcore fires back with a chairshot of his own on Nightmare! Hardcore jumps back over the guardrail and he throws Nightmare into the ring. Hardcore sets him up on the top rope…he looks like he’s about to finish Nightmare off…there’s the Pedigree from the top rope!!!! Hardcore hooks the leg…1…2…3!!!! Nightmare is gone!!!

Ding Ding Ding!!!!

Announcer: Nightmare has been eliminated!!!!!!!

VJ: We’ve actually got Police officers out here trying to get this under control!!!! I’ve never seen a match like this! Nightmare has been eliminated by #1 Hardcore, who gets 3 points going into the Royal Rumble later on tonight. Oh! Ice Cube attacks #1 Hardcore from behind and he’s putting the boots to him. Cube picks him up and drives him back to the buckle…OHH! Knife-edge chop right to the chest of Hardcore! Dave is still out like a light over here…I’m really concerned about him. There’s another chop by Ice Cube on Hardcore. He sets him up in the corner…uh oh…running powerbomb!!!! 1…2…kickout by Hardcore!!!! Ice Cube almost got him. He reaches back to his corner to make a tag but both the Rock and Reaper are down! Hardcore with a low blow…DDT!!!! Cover..1…2…Ice Cube got the foot on the bottom rope!!!! That was a close call for the former World Champ! Hardcore is dragging Cube back to the buckle…Anarchy just tagged himself in!!! I think Hardcore was going for the top rope pedigree but it was foiled by his own partner! Anarchy lifts up Ice Cube…sidewalk slam almost drives him through the mat! He hooks the leg…1…2…kickout by Cube! Thor is looking to be tagged in now…Anarchy picks Ice Cube up…I think he’s about to give him a tombstone piledriver…it’s reversed by Ice Cube but Anarchy reverses it back…Thor just tagged himself in much like Anarchy did…Anarchy drops Cube in the tombstone!!!!!!! Thor is picking up Cube…damn it Anarchy just nailed him with a right to the temple and Thor falls to the floor!!!! Anarchy tries for a big lariat but misses…Cube connects with a neckbreaker!!! The Rock is back up in the corner and he’s looking to get tagged in!!!!!! Can Ice Cube make the tag…YES!!!! The Rock is in and he’s setting the house on fire!!! Big right hands right to the jaw of Anarchy…BOOM!!! SmackDown!!! In comes Hardcore and he catches much of the same! Rock catches Big Foot sleeping on the apron! Thor is behind the Rock…whoa!!!!!!!!! That was Angel!!!!!! Angel just came from the crowd and nailed Thor in the back of the head with a lead pipe…the ref didn’t see it and neither did the Rock! Rock with a Samoan Drop and here comes the most Electrifying move in Sports-Entertainment…PEOPLE’S ELBOW!!!!!! Cover…1…2…3!!!!!

Ding Ding Ding!!!!

Announcer: Thor has been eliminated!!!!!!

VJ: Thor is gone and the Rock picks up 4 points!!! Anarchy from behind with a clothesline from hell!!! He picks the Rock up…piledriver!!!! He hooks the leg…1…2…kickout by Rocky!!!

DD: What I miss…Good God Reaper and Ice Cube are fighting again!

VJ: Reaper and Ice Cube are going at it on the ring apron…meanwhile Anarchy is looking for the Doomsday Drop…Rock with a low blow!!!! Rock is reaching for the tag…he tags Reaper in!!!!!! Reaper was brawling with his partner Ice Cube on the apron and didn’t notice the Rock tagging him in…Anarchy just made the tag to Big Foot…Reaper just slammed Cube headfirst into the stairs and the Rock just threw Reaper into the ring!!!!!!

DD: WHAT???! Kick his ass, Reaper!

VJ: Reaper and the Rock are having words…Big Foot picks up Reaper and drills him with a side suplex!!!1 Cover…1…2…kickout by Reaper!

DD: What a damn cheater the Rock is! He’s lucky I don’t go up there and smoke him (pulls out a blunt and starts to smoke)

VJ: (Sighs) Reaper caught Big Foot with a thumb to the eyes…neckbreaker!!!!!! Reaper looks hot and now I think he’s about to finish off Big Foot.

DD: Here it comes…Open Hell baby!!!!!

VJ: He’s pointing at Ice Cube…Ice Cube just spit water right into the eyes of Reaper!!!!!

DD: Ice Cube, you damn fool! What the hell was that???

VJ: Big Foot with a boot to the midsection…Gutwrench Powerbomb! Cover…1…2…3 points for Big Foot!!!!!!!

Ding Ding Ding!!!!

Announcer: Reaper has been eliminated!!!!!!

DD: That wasn’t fair!!!!! I ought to call Sammy T. back out here! He knows how to handle people!

VJ: Reaper is out of it! Ice Cube climbs into the ring and he’s laughing in Reaper’s face…stomp to the chest of Reaper…Big Foot with a schoolboy…1…2…kickout by Cube! Big Foot hits off the rope…Ice Cube tries for an Ice Breaker but the foot is caught…Hardcore runs in there and hits him with a spear!!!!! Cover…1…2…kickout by Cube!!!! Hardcore with a forearm shot to the back of the head of Cube…he’s trying for a Pedigree in the center of the ring this time…double leg takedown by Cube…Ice Cub e just slingshot #1 Hardcore into the turnbuckle…there’s the Ice Breaker!!!!! 1…2…3!!!!

Ding Ding Ding!!!

Announcer: #1 Hardcore has been eliminated!!!!!!

VJ: Hardcore is gone but now Anarchy is in the ring…Ice Cube doesn’t see him…BOOM! Doomsday Drop!!!! 1…2…3!!!!!!!!

Ding Ding Ding!!!

Announcer: Ice Cube has been eliminated!!!!

DD: HAHAHAHA!!!! DID YOU SEE THAT????!

VJ: That’s how fast an elimination can come! Just like that!!!! And now the Rock is left against Big Foot and Anarchy!!!! Anarchy wants a piece of the Rock bad!!!!

DD: Just Bring it, Rock!!!!

VJ: How are you even alive after that shot Nightmare gave you a little while ago? The Rock is headed into the ring and Big Foot and Anarchy jump right on him! Big Foot and Anarchy are working together not because they’re friends, but because they both want a piece of the World Title, and everybody knows that 2 heads are better than one!

DD: That explain..

VJ: No, shut up! Anarchy and Big Foot whip Rocky into the ropes…double clothesline and he goes down! Big Foot hits off the ropes…Big Leg Drop!!! Anarchy climbs to the 2nd rope…ouch! Fist drop right into the chest of the People’s Champion! The Rock is being decimated by unlikely tag team partners Big Foot and Anarchy. Anarchy just climbed to the 2nd rope…

DD: Here we go! You might as well change his name from the Brahma Bull to Roadkill cuz he’s fixing to become street pizza!

VJ: Big Foot sets The Rock up on his shoulders…Doomsday Device!!!! Anarchy makes the cover…1…2…Big Foot pulled him off!

DD: Big Foot must be from Canada cuz not even Indianians are that dumb! You had the match won you skankhole!!!!!

VJ: “Indianians”, huh? Big Foot picks up the Rock…Anarchy just shoved him!

DD: We’ve got a problem here!

VJ: Anarchy and Big Foot both wanna pin the Rock! They both want the 4 points to advance to the battle royal…the Rock is back to his feet and he catches them both…DOUBLE ROCK BOTTOM!!!!!!!!!! Rock covers Big Foot…1…2…3!!!!!!!

Ding Ding Ding!!!!

Announcer: Big Foot has been eliminated!!!!

VJ: What a match!!!!!

DD: What a Jackoff! Then again, he is from Canada!

VJ: He’s not from Canada!

DD: Yeah, even Canadaians are embarrassed of him! That’s a damn insult!

VJ: Are you ok? You sound like you might have a concussion.

DD: No, I already ate.

VJ: Anarchy is still down from the double Rock Bottom…can the Rock get the cover? He’s getting closer and closer and closer…he drapes an arm across his chest…1…2…Anarchy kicks out!!!!!!!!! The Rock was 1 pin away from becoming the sole survivor of this one! This is a helluva matchup we have here! Rock is back to his feet…it looks like he’s going for the People’s Elbow!!!!!! The Rock hits off 1 side…he hits off the other…he trips over Big Foot’s body and falls to the mat!

DD: Rock, get your clumsy ass up!

VJ: The Rock tripped over Big Foot when he was going for the People’s Elbow! Anarchy gets back up to his feet…DOOMSDAY DROP!!!! 1…2…3!!!!!!!

Ding Ding Ding!!!

Announcer: Here is your winner: Anarchy!!!!!!!!!

VJ: What a big victory for Anarchy! He has just defeated the I-C Champion the Rock, and look at that sick smile on his face!

DD: He knocked the Brahma Bullsh*t out of the Rock! All hail the new King of the Ring…Anarchy!

VJ: This isn’t the King of the Ring you jackass! But Anarchy now has 8 pts and has pretty much secured his spot in the rumble! The Rock is in good position as well with 10 pts for himself. Earlier tonight the Krazed and Chyna of the Dynasty were assaulted by 2 unknown men dressed in cloaks. Backstage we have Rosie Sanchez in the medical area with the Dynasty.

(Camera cuts back to the medical area where Prez Panther and Tina are looking over Chyna. Rosie Sanchez is with them)

RS: Well Vince, Krazed is ok and is headed to the next match as we speak, but Chyna looks pretty hurt. Now Panther, I know that you’re not feeling too good tonight, so how does that and the attack on the Dynasty affect…

(Tina shoves Rosie down and hands the mic to Panther. Before he can even begin to speak, Commish Firestorm walks in with Trish. Trish looks sick too)

Commish: I already know what you’re gonna say! You’re gonna come out here and make excuses about being sick and your little girlfriend getting hurt cuz you know that when I fight you tonight I’m gonna kick your ass and I’m gonna be the one calling the shots around here!

Prez: You know what, you’ve got a lot of nerve busting in here trying to steal my spotlight. Yeah it’s true I don’t feel good tonight, yeah I’m worried about Chyna and yeah I know that you probably hired some goons to try and take me out of the match, but that ain’t happening! I’m gonna be there tonight, and I might not be at 100%, but that won’t stop me from giving you a 1st Class, genuine, Grade A, P-Diddy Style Ass whoopin!!!

Commish: Come on tough guy! Let’s go right now!

DD: WHOA!!! He just slapped the taste out of Panther’s mouth!!!!

VJ: Prez Panther is trying to get at Firestorm but we’ve got a bunch of officials back there trying to separate them!!!!!! It’s absolutely crazy tonight!!!

(Camera cuts to the parking lot where we see Sniper talking on a Cell Phone)

Sniper: Yeah…uh huh…tonights the night. Take no prisoners…(Spots the camera) wait a minute…hell no! Get that f*cking camera out of my face! Get it…

(Sniper picks up a 2X4 and hits the cameraman! The screen snows out and fades to black)

 

Team 1:Professional, Kaos, Scarlet KV and Krazed Vs Team 2:Rick Bruiser, Rage, Lightning and the Godfather

(“Rollin” hits over the PA and the crowd cheers. Blue lights shine over the arena and pyro explodes in the aisle as Rage walks down the aisle and heads to the ring. “Nobody does it better” plays over the PA system as The Godfather walks down the aisle to the ring. A huge lightning bolt strikes and the lights begin to flicker. “Ride the Lightning” starts up over the PA system and the crowd goes wild Lightning walks down the ramp towards the ring. Lightning bolts shoot from the ringposts and his music dies down. “The Way I Am” starts up over the PA and the crowd cheers. Rick Bruiser appears in the aisle and walks down to the ring. As Bruiser’s team huddles in the ring, “Dragula” by Rob Zombie starts up over PA system. Scarlet KV runs down the ramp wearing a hand blade. He slides into the ring. His music dies down as “Bitch Please 2” starts up. Kaos walks down the aisle and climbs into the ring. His music dies down as “Hit Em Up” by 2Pac plays over the PA system. Krazed walks down the aisle without Tina and heads over to the commentary booth. BOOM. The lights drop and X by Xzibit begins to blast over the PA and Yellow lights flash over the arena as the Professional walks down the ramp to the ring. He looks very nervous as he’s walking down the aisle. When he gets to the ring, pyro goes off and his music dies down. Krazed grabs a mic)

Krazed: It's Here one of The Biggest Exstravaganza's of The Year and The
Revolution Tried To out Smart The Human Wrecking Machine and all of you fans
out there

VJ: What does Krazed Mean ?

Krazed: Yes , Kaos and Bruiser Really Think They can Fool Me . Well Bruiser
you Can't . Bruiser you told a little Story back at The Pre Show . About
Thanksgiving and The Little Family Fight between The 3 of you Imbesles . But
, That is a Lie cause you are just Trying To chjeat your way to #1 Contender
Slot's well here how it is going Down . Look up at The PantherTron we see
Bruiser , Kaos and Viper having a Couple of Beer's about 10 Minutes ago .
Well Rev you guys want To Play Some Games . Well Here is The New Team That I
hand Picked My Good Freinds Raven and Death

VJ: Krazed runs Down , And Look it's Raven , It's Raven , Evenflow on Bruiser That other Man , He Hit Kaos with a Chair

DD: Why is it that all of these idiots tonight wanna attack their teammates???! Don’t they realize that a World Title shot is on the line tonight?!

Ding Ding Ding!!!

VJ: There’s the bell…what the hell is wrong with the Professional?

DD: He got raped.

VJ: Oh. That’s the answer to everything these days. Raven and the other guy…Death (???) are being escorted away from ringside…Rage is on the top rope…there’s Rare Aire on Bruiser!!!!!!!!!! And when I said Bruiser I meant Kaos!!!!!! Cover…1…2…Scarlet KV just rushed the ring and he attacked Rage!!!! Rage fires back with a right hand…who’s legal?!

DD: Everything’s legal here tonight! Shut you mouth and call the match!!!!

VJ: Rage and Scarlet KV are brawling…Krazed is measuring KV…big clothesline knocks both men over the top rope and to the floor!!!! Rage and Scarlet KV are out on the arena floor…OH! KV just kicked Rage right in the face!!! He just…oh my God he’s got that hand blade!!!!

DD: This isn’t Seattle, WA, this is Elm St.!!!!!!!!! Freddy Lives!!!!!!!!!!

VJ: Will you stop? Scarlet KV is going after Rage with that hand blade…we’ve got officials out here to try and separate those 2…damn it Anarchy just came from the crowd and attacked Scarlet KV with a chairshot!!!!!!! Why did he do that?! He turns around and hits Rage for no reason at all!!!!!!!! Anarchy has come out here and taken out both Rage and Scarlet KV!!! Officials are out here trying to get him away from ringside and he wants a piece of Lightning!!!! Anarchy wants a piece of Lightning…

DD: Come on, Sparky! Let’s see how tough you are now?!

VJ: Lightning is headed down the aisle but he and Anarchy are being separated by officials…

Ding Ding Ding!!!

Announcer: Both Rage and Scarlet KV have been counted out!!!!!!

VJ: Damn Anarchy to hell for what he just did! He’s turned this entire match upside down and we’ve got just about every suit in Washington State trying to keep Lightning and Anarchy away from one another…back in the ring…it’s Krazed and the Godfather going at it!!!! The Godfather has the upper hand on Krazed…he backs him to the buckle…Godfather misses with a big splash and Krazed…he tags in the Professional!!!!! The Professional is headed to the top…beautiful twisting huracanrana!!!!!!!! He hooks the leg…1…2…kickout by the Godfather!!!!! Anarchy is finally getting out of here! He’s caused enough trouble for 1 night!

DD: Vince, shut your damn mouth! Anarchy can do whatever he wants!

VJ: Professional picks up the Godfather…snap suplex takes him over! The Pro still looks very nervous out here…I’m kinda worried about him. He tags Krazed back in…Krazed picks up the Godfather…Supernova!!!!!!!!!! He hooks the leg…1…2…3!!!!!! The Godfather has been quickly eliminated!!!!!!

Ding Ding Ding!!!

Announcer: The Godfather has been eliminated!!!!

VJ: Krazed picks up an easy 3 points by eliminating the Godfather! That’s impressive, I must say. We’re down to Krazed, Professional and Kaos against Lightning and Bruiser and Bruiser got his clock cleaned before the match. Lightning steps into the ring to go up against Krazed…what in the World???! Kaos just clotheslined Krazed from behind! Lightning picks up Krazed and drills him with a spinebuster!!!!!!! He hooks the leg…1…2…kickout by Krazed!!!!! Lightning picks Krazed up…he’s hammering away to the small of the back of Krazed! Irish whip sends Krazed to the ropes…Lightning turns him over into a powerslam…1…2…kickout by Krazed! Lightning walks over to Krazed’s corner now…he just punched the Professional right in the mouth! The Pro goes down hard…Krazed charges in a Lightning but misses with a clothesline…Lightning lifts him up on his shoulders and drives him to the mat with a DVD! Lightning is a house of fire and he just nailed Kaos with a huge right hand!!!!!!!

DD: I think he’s been using some of Warrior’s heroine again!

VJ: Lightning whips Krazed hard into the buckle and blasts him with a boot to the stomach…powerbomb! Lightning bridges and hooks the legs…1…2…it’s broken up by the Professional and Kaos! I think they’re hot at Lightning! They just dragged him into the corner and now they’re beating the hell out of Lightning!!!! Bruiser just ran out of his corner and nearly decapitated Krazed with that clothesline!!!!! And now he’s helping out Lightning!!!!!!! Bruiser is hammering away to the side of the head of the Professional…he just clocked his partner on the side of the ear with a clothesline and knocks him to the floor!!!!

DD: We got a good old piece of biness goin on!

VJ: What the f*ck did you just say?! OH!!!! Damn! Bruiser charged in at Krazed and got speared out of his boots!!!

DD: I think he knocked 1 of them into the front row!

VJ: That wouldn’t surprise me! And now Kaos wants the tag in! Krazed doesn’t wanna tag him in…this has gotta be the worst team I’ve ever seen in my life! Kaos wants a piece of Lightning…Krazed slaps him right in the face!!!!!!

DD: That’s a tag if I ever saw one!

VJ: OH!!! Krazed was stepping over the top rope and Kaos gave him a low blow…Ticking Time Bomb on Krazed!!! He just gave his own damn partner the Ticking Time Bomb!!! What the hell…Lightning went for a small package…1…2…reversed by Kaos…1…2…kickout by Lightning! Both men back to their feet and Lightning sends Kaos to the ropes…he misses with a clothesline…he went for an elbow but Kaos smartly goes right for the knee of Lightning!!! Kaos has Lightning’s right leg…dragon screw leg whip into the Sharpshooter!!!!!!! Sharpshooter by Kaos!!! He has it locked in on Lightning right in the center of the ring…Lightning is writhing in pain!!!!

DD: He’s gotta give up! There’s no way he can stand the pressure!!!

VJ: Lightning is trying to fight this hold but it looks like it’s no use…OH!!!! Bruiser just broke the hold and nailed his friend Kaos with a big clothesline!!!! Kaos is back up and he doesn’t look happy about that…he just slapped Bruiser right in the puss!

DD: CAT FIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!

VJ: Stop it!!! Bruiser retaliates with a right hand to the jaw of Kaos and now those 2 are trading blows with one another!!! Kaos and Bruiser are going at it! The Revolution is exploding right before our very eyes!!!!!!!! Kaos is thrown to the ropes by Bruiser…double clothesline!!!!!! Bruiser is knocked to the canvas but Kaos is staggered…here comes Lightning from behind…INVERTED DDT ON KAOS!!!!!! He hooks the leg…1…2…3!!!!!!

Ding Ding Ding!!!

Announcer: Kaos has been eliminated!!!!!!!

DD: HAHAHA! This is great!!!! Kaos is eliminated thanks to outside interference from his own friend!!!!!!!! I love it!

VJ: I knew you would!!!! Kaos looks pretty damn pissed off at Bruiser! We’re down to…Krazed just snuck up behind Lightning and Krazed grabs him by the throat…chokeslam on Lightning!!!!!!!!! Lightning is done!!!!!!!!! Krazed is looking to finish Lightning off now! He’s setting Lightning up for the Tombstone…Bruiser enters the ring to help out his partner…oh!!! He just kicked a hole right through Bruiser’s chest and he goes tumbling to the floor! Lightning is able to wiggle free…he rolls Krazed up..OH!!! Lightning just hit heads with referee Al Gore…

DD: Looks like that skankhole is gonna be working here full time for now on.

VJ: Probably. Al Gore is down again. Lightning is back to his feet…Krazed charges at him with a clothesline but Lightning ducks it…he sets Krazed up on the top rope…he’s going for the Lightning Rod…

(A random fan in a hood jumps over the guardrail. He rolls into the ring and just stands there for about 30 seconds)

DD: Security!!!!!!!!! Security!!!!!!!!!!!!!

VJ: Some guy in a hood is in the ring.

DD: Vince, tell you Aunt to get out of the ring. We just got it disinfected!

VJ: Lightning has Krazed on the tope rope…Lightning Rod!!!!!!! He makes the cover but there’s no ref! Who can somebody get this fan out of the ring?!!

(“The Way I Am” starts up again over the PA system)

DD: Oh no! Not Viper!

VJ: Viper is on his way out to the ring now!!!! He just walked up to Kaos and he’s saying something to him…Lightning just got up from the pin and now he’s looking over there…what the hell…???! That fan just hit Lightning with a pipe!!!!!!!

DD: HAHAH! That was the greatest pipejob I’ve ever seen!!!!

VJ: He just hit Lighting right in the ribs…Bruiser is back in the ring and now he’s in the guy’s face…damn it he just gave Lightning the Ripper!!!!! What in the World???! That’s no fan!!!!! That’s Ron Vicious!!! My God, Ron Vicious…he’s joined the Revolution! Lightning has been set up!!!! Viper just threw water on the official and Krazed covers Lightning…1…2…3!!!! I can’t believe this!!!!!!

Ding Ding Ding!!!

Announcer: Lightning has been eliminated!!!!!

DD: That was great! No, no, no!!! That was greater than great!

VJ: That was despicable!!!! How could Bruiser do that?! How could the Revolution do that?!

DD: Oh please! This is Lightning you’re talking about! His own parents hate him! If I was Bruiser I would’ve done the same thing!!!!!

VJ: The Revolution…this isn’t good for Krazed and the Professional now! The Professional hasn’t really done much in this match and Krazed is surrounded by the entire Revolution!!!!

DD: Beat his ass!!!!!!!!!!

VJ: The Revolution has Krazed trapped…it’s Raven and Death again! Raven and Death back from the crowd and they just attacked Kaos and Viper!!!!!! OH! Krazed just nailed Vicious with a Superkick that caught him right on the jaw!!!!! Bruiser with a kneelift knocks Krazed to the floor…

DD: Look out, they’re going crazy again!!!!

VJ: Raven just tossed Viper right into the lap of Delaware Dave!

DD: You say that cuz you’re used to having dudes in your lap! In Delaware we have a little thing called Concision!!!!!! How ya like me now???!

VJ: (ignoring Dave) It’s all broken loose once again…wait! Anarchy’s back!!!!!!! Look out Krazed…sledgehammer shot right to the head of Krazed!!!! I can’t believe that!!!!!!!! Anarchy rolls Krazed back into the ring and look at that bastard Bruiser!!! He’s got a sick smile on his face! 1 foot across the chest of Krazed…NO!!! 1…2...3!!!!

Ding Ding Ding!!!

Announcer: Krazed has been eliminated!!!!

DD: This is the greatest night in the history of our sport! Look at these idiots Death and Raven! They missed the whole thing!

VJ: Ok Phoney Shivonne! We’re down to Bruiser and the Professional…it’s captain vs captain and here we go!!!! Pro hits the ring and he’s taking it to Rick Bruiser!!! Irish whip by the Pro sends Bruiser into the ropes…tilt-A-whirl backbreaker!!!! Cover…1…2…Kaos just pulled the Pro out of the ring! Professional just nailed Kaos with a right hand to the side of the head! Viper has a steel chair…he tried to hit the Professional but accidently hit Kaos! Pro just nailed Viper with a superkick and now he has the chair…OH! Baseball slide by Bruiser just knocked the chair right back into the face of the Pro! Bruiser is punishing the Pro’s ribs with those stiff kicks! He picks him up and it looks like he’s bringing him over here…he launches the Pro right on top of the West Texas Redneckian Announce table…Professional with a thumb to the eyes of Bruiser!!! Pro hops down and he picks up that chair…he nails Vicious right in the head with it!!!! Pro picks up Bruiser…he suplexes him right on top of the announce table!!!!! The Pro is headed back up to the top rope now…

DD: Disqualify him ref!!!!!!

VJ: Look out…OH MY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He went for the Maneuver but Bruiser moved!!!!!! The Professional went crashing from about 20ft in the air straight through that announce table!

DD: That’s it! He’s done! Forever! Stick a fork in his ass, he’s done!

VJ: Bruiser rolls him back into the ring…he picks up the Professional now…there’s the Hot Shot!!!!!!!!!! It’s over!!!! Cover…1…2…3!!!!

Ding Ding Ding!!!

Announcer: Here is your winner: Rick Bruiser!!!!!!!!!

DD: Vince, you’ve gotta give him credit! Rick Bruiser came out here against all odds and has triumphed over everybody! Even the unstoppable Professional! The Revolution is stronger than ever!

VJ: Since when did you become such a Revolution fan? It’s as plain as day that Bruiser and the Revolution stole this match! And now ladies in gentlemen with that win, Bruiser has 8 points. Here’s what we have for the Royal Rumble later on tonight based on the point system…

1) The Rock-10pts

2) Anarchy-8pts

3) Killa-8pts

4) Rick Bruiser-8pts

5) Krazed-6pts

6) Lightning-4pts

7) Sammy T. –4pts

8)Staks-4pts

9)”Da Man” Lance-4pts

10) Big Foot-4pts

11) #1 Hardcore-4pts

12) Ice Cube-3pts

VJ: There you have it! It will be those 12 men competing later on tonight for the World Title Shot at Apocalypse Now…but up next, the I-C Title will be on the line as Lightning attempts to regain the title from the Rock! Earlier tonight we saw a present from Lightning delivered to the Rock. It was a stone covered in ice. Well we have some more footage that happened just a little while ago as the Rock was getting ready for the match in the locker room. Take a look:

 

NFWA Replay:

(The Rock is in the locker room when someone knocks on his door. He goes to open it and it’s the NFWA assistant again. She hands him another package)

Rock: What the hell…look sister the Rock knows that you wanna feel a little of his electricity but he’s way to busy to be playing your Mickey Mouse games…

Assistant: It’s from Lightning again.

Rock: Lightning…it had damn sure better be a Playstation 2 the way that roody poo has been bugging the Rock tonight.

(He opens it and pulls out a rubber snake)

Rock: What the hell kinda present is this???

Assistant: I’m just the messenger!

Rock: That monkey piss drinkin sumbitch! The Rock had better not catch him sending him anything else or he’s gonna layeth the Smacketh Down on his Candy Ass! Then again the Rock already did it once, he’ll do it 10 times worse here tonight!

(Camera cuts back to the Rock’s locker room where he’s standing with Rosie Sanchez)

RS: Well Rock…

Rock: Enough! Tonight everybody wants a piece of the People’s Champ! Everybody wants a piece of the Rock! 1st we got this jabroni Anarchy, he gets his jabroni friends to come out of the woodwork and attack the Rock. Well the Rock has said it before and he’ll say it again, Anarchy if you want a piece of the Rock then you know your damn role, shut your damn mouth and just bring it! And as for Lightning, your cheap ass comes around here buying the Rock 50 cent presents like you’re supposed to impress the Rock! Well the Rock will say this…

RS: LOOK OUT!!!!!!!

(Someone throws something at Rock’s head but he moves out of the way and it hits the wall. He picks it up and shakes it)

Rock: A baby’s rattle?

(The Rock looks confused as he walks out of the room and heads to ringside)

VJ: What do a rubber snake, a stone covered in ice and a baby rattle have in common.

DD: you Canadians and your lazy brains! It’s obvious…Kevin Taylor is running an underground cocaine ring back in the locker room and Lightning’s his chief seller! I know it’s true! It’s DAMN true!!!!!

VJ: Idiot.

I-C Title: The Rock (Champion) VS Lightning

(The lights go out......a womans voice "Warning" "Warning" "Severe Thunderstorm Warning" "Lightning will......2 Lightning bolts strike the panther tron...as "Ride the Lightning hits the Pa"....Lightning walks out to the cheers of the fans...he goes and climbs up the Panther trons base..and raises the Xtreme and Tv titles in the air..He climbs back down and rolls in the ring..Jumps on the turnbuckle and raises the titles then criss cross's them as Lightning bolts shoot out of the ringposts behind him. His music dies down. “IF YA SMEEEEEEEELL WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKIN!!!!!!!!!” The Rock’s theme music blasts over the PA system. The Rock walks out to the entrance with the I-C Belt over his shoulder and the crowd cheers as he walks down the ramp to the ring. When he gets to the ring, the Rock climbs up on the ring apron, climbs to the top rope and raises his belt into the air as the fans cheer. He hops down, hands the belt to the ref and goes face to face as the music dies down)

Ding Ding Ding!!!

VJ: There’s a lot of heat between these 2! Lightning just held up 3 fingers…2 fingers…oh my! 1 finger salute by the TV and X-Treme Champion…Rock connects to the jaw of Lightning!!! Lightning fires back…Rock…Lightning…Rock again…Lightning again!!!!!!! Lightning and the Rock are trying to knock each other’s heads off and this crowd is loving it!!! Rock is getting the upper hand!!! Rock backs Lightning back to the buckle with repeated right hands…here it comes…Rock misses with that patented right hand of his! Lightning hits off the ropes and blasts the I-C Champion with a clothesline!! Lightning off the ropes again…another clothesline floors the champ! Lightning is setting up for another clothesline…he charges in but the Rock side steps him…Side Russian Leg Sweep!!!!!!! The Rock hooks the leg…1…2…kickout by Lightning! Lightning quickly back up to his feet…Lightning looks a little woozy! The Rock is waiting for Lightning to turn around…BOOOM!!!!!! Unbelievable clothesline over the top rope sends the former I-C Champion to the floor and listen to this huge crowd explode!!!!!!!

DD: Man! Now I can see why Lightning tried to buy Rocky’s friendship earlier. He’s getting his ass beat!

VJ: I don’t think that’s what Lightning was trying to do!

D: Yes it was! Admit it!

VJ: Lightning is trying to get some rest on the floor but it looks like the Rock ain’t having it! Rock just threw down the ring announcer! Rock has a steel chair!

DD: Sparky is about to get a taste of STEEL!!!!!! STEEL!!!!!!!

VJ: The Rock is headed over to Lightning with that chair…look out Lightning…OH!!!! Lightning moved out of the way and Rock hit the ringpost!!! Rock swings again…Lightning hits a Russian leg sweep using the steel chair for leverage!!!!! The Rock is hurt and now Lightning is picking up that chair!!!! The ref slides to the floor and now he’s up in Lightning’s face! He’s threatening to disqualify him!

DD: I know you’re not gonna let that little faggot stand in your way! Kick him in the nuts and knock Rocky’s head into the 8th row!!! Now!!!

VJ: Lightning hands the chair to the ref…Rock nails him with a low blow while the ref’s back was turned! Rock is back up and now he’s hammering away once again with right hands to the challenger! Rock picks up Lightning by the hair…he sends him crashing hard into the steel barricade! Lightning is hurt! The Rock throws Lightning back into the ring and follows in after him. Rock picks Lightning back up and tosses him to the buckle…Rocky is stomping away hard to the midsection! As someone else would say, the Rock is stomping a mudhole in Lightning! Irish whip sends Lightning bouncing hard off the turnbuckle…the Rock catches him in a sleeper!!!!!!!!!! Lightning is in some serious trouble now!

DD: I love it, Vince! Nighty-night Lightning!

VJ: Lightning is trying everything he can to break this hold but it’s no use!!!! The Rock has it cinched in deep and Lightning drops to 1 knee…Lightning goes down!!!!!!!! It could be all over right here! Lightning is fading fast thanks to this sleeper hold from the Rock! The ref checks the arm once…it drops once!!!!!! He checks it twice…it drops twice!!! He raises Lightning’s arm a 3rd time…if it drops again this match is over…

DD: IT DROPPED!!!!!!!! IF YA SMELL-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA…

VJ: Lightning got the arm up!!!!!!!!!!

DD: …LA-LA…WHAA??! No!!!!!!!!!! He was out!

VJ: Lightning isn’t out at all! He’s trying to get back to his feet! Lightning is gonna try one last time to break this hold! He’s back to 1 knee…Rock is applying more pressure…Lightning fires back with an elbow to the midsection! There’s another one…and another elbow breaks the hold!!!!

DD: No fair! That was a low blow and you know it!

VJ: It was not! Lightning is back to his feet now…Rock charges in and misses with a clothesline…DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE!!!!!!! The Rock and Lightning are both down! They may both be out cold right now! This crowd is split right down the middle. I don’t think they know who to root for in this one.

DD: I’m rooting for everybody that’s not Lightning.

VJ: I figured you would. Rock is the fresher of the 2 so he makes it back to his feet 1st. He picks up Lightning…inverted atomic drop on the Rock! The Rock is hurt and Lightning hits off the ropes…bulldog!!!!!! Lightning mounts the Rock and now he’s hammering away with rapid-fire right hands to the side of the head! He picks the Rock up…Irish whip sends the I-C Champ to the ropes…Lightning drives him into the mat with a spinebuster!!! The leg is hooked…1…2…3!!!! 3 damn it! 3!!!!!!!!!!

DD: It’s was a 2!!!!!!!!!!

VJ: Aww man that was close! Lightning thought he had him. He picks the Rock up…snap jab sends the Rock staggering into the buckle…Irish whip…the Rock reverses and sends Lightning to the buckle…the Rock charges in and he gets back body dropped over the top rope and all the way to the concrete floor!!!!!!

DD: Did you see the Rock’s head splat off of the concrete???

VJ: The Rock is busted open!!! Lightning goes to the floor after Rock. He picks him up and slams the Rock’s head into the guardrail! And again!!! The Rock picks him up and throws him back into the ring!!! Lightning is looking underneath the ring now…

DD: What is that idiot doing, Vince?

VJ: He’s got a table!!!!!!!!

DD: Oh no! Lightning may not have any Poontang pie, but he does got WOOD!!!!!!!

VJ: Pervert. This isn’t a no DQ match!!! Lightning is setting up the table inside the ring…has he lost his mind!

DD: Everyone knows that he never had a mind to begin with!!!

VJ: The referee is trying to get that table away from Lightning…oh! The Rock with a clothesline from behind!!!! Rock with an Irish whip…Lightning reverses and sends the I-C Champ crashing right into the referee!!!!! The ref is down…Lightning hits off the ropes and went for a clothesline…OH MY GOD!!!!!!!! Samoan drop through the table by the Rock!!!! Lightning may be broken in half!!!! Rock hooks the leg…the ref is still down!!! The Rock had this 1 won!!!

DD: I know there are about 11 referees in the back. Get your lazy asses out here and count the pin!! Oh…it’s referee Brad Patterson!!!!

VJ: Oh great! I thought he was dead! Patterson is running out to the ring…Rock with a boot to the stomach…DDT on Patterson!!!!

DD: What the f*ck is wrong with you??? That’s Brad Patterson!

VJ: How is Lightning even standing?! The Rock goes for a float over DDT but Lightning counters and drops the Rock across the top rope!!!! Lightning hits off the ropes and connects with a high knee…LOOK OUT DAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!

DD: OH SH*T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

VJ: Good God!!! Lightning just knocked the Rock off the ring apron and he went crashing headfirst through our table!!!!! The Rock is dead!!!!!!!!! He has to be!!!

DD: I sure hope so!!!!

VJ: I thought you liked the Rock? Lightning walks out to the floor and he picks the I-C Champion back up! This crowd is going crazy. Lightning rolls him back into the ring…he sets him up in the corner now…running powerbomb on the Rock!!!! The referee is waking up!!!!

DD: NO!!!

VJ: The referee is way out of position…1…2…Rocky gets the shoulder up!!!!!!

DD: That was a little slow!!!

VJ: Lightning thought he had him beat and he may have!!! He picks the Rock up…it looks like he’s going for the Lightning Rod…Rock just nailed Lightning with a knee to the ribs…ROCK BOTTOM!!!!!! It’s all over!!! 1…2…thr…Lightning got the foot on the ropes!!! Damn it that was close!

DD: Foot on the ropes my ass! Lightning is nothing but a pu…

VJ: Watch your mouth! Both the Rock and Lightning are dazed and they have to be thinking what they have to do to beat the other man!

DD: I think Lightning’s had enough. He’s thinking what he has to do to keep the Rock from killing his ass!

VJ: Rock is going to the top rope!!!!!!! That’s unusual for the Rock…

DD: Don’t do it Rock!

VJ: Rock is on the top…Lightning shakes the top rope and the Rock has a bad landing!!!!

DD: Rock! I told you not to do it!!!!

VJ: Lightning is climbing to the top rope with the Rock…here it comes…LIGHTNING ROD!!!!!! It’s all over…1…2…3!!!!!!!!!

Ding Ding Ding!!!

Announcer: Here is your winner, and new NFWA I-C Champion: Lightning!!!!!!!!

DD: NOOO!!! Why, Rocky, why?

VJ: Lightning has done it for the 2nd time!!!! Lightning is once again the NFWA I-C Champion but he had to work hard to get it. That was an unbelievable battle between 2 incredible athletes and this crowd is giving both of these men the credit that they deserve!!!

DD: Lightning doesn’t deserve anything but my foot in his ass!!! You and I both know he got lucky!!!

VJ: Whatever!!!! As Lightning celebrates his Title win, let’s take you backstage to…oh no!!!!!! The Rock just hit Lightning from behind with a chair!!!!

DD: HAHAHA!!!!! That was great! Layeth the STEEL down!!!!!!

VJ: What is it with you and steel lately?

DD: The Rock is putting the steel chair down on Lightning’s Candy ass and I love it!!!

VJ: The Rock picks up Lightning and slams him down on that chair!!! It looks like he’s going for the People’s elbow now!!!! Here it comes…he hits off 1 side…he hits off the other…

DD: Here it comes…

(The lights go out)

DD: Oh no!! I’ve gone blind!!!!!!!

VJ: The lights have just gone out…what the hell is going on?

(clips come up on the Panthertron showing the assistant giving the gifts to the Rock)

DD: Look at Lightning! He’s beggin for mercy!

VJ: We’ve got those clips on the Panthertron…there’s a 3 up there..1…6??? What in the…

(Glass Shatters and Stone Cold Steve Austin’s theme music blasts over the PA system)

DD and VJ: OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!! IT’S STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

VJ: I can’t believe my eyes!!!! It’s Steve Austin! Austin just drove his pickup truck out to ringside and look at that look on the Rock’s face!!! He’s stunned!!!!

DD: This ain’t no place for drunk drivers! Get him out of here!!!!

VJ: Austin stops that truck in front of the ring and he climbs out onto the hood of the truck!!!! OH MY!!!!! He just nailed the Rock with a flying clothesline!!!!!!! It’s Pandemonium!!!! The Rattlesnake is tearing into the Brahma Bull!!!!! He picks him back up and slams him into the buckle…Austin is stomping a mudhole in the Rock and he’s walking it dry!!!!

DD: This isn’t fair!!!! Call the Police! Take his ass to jail!!!

VJ: Stone Cold has the Rock…STONE COLD STUNNER ON THE PEOPLE’S CHAMP!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stone Cold Stunner on the Rock!!!!!!!! The Rattlesnake has struck and I can’t believe it!!!!

DD: This is a travesty…uh oh!!! Look at that look Austin just gave Lightning!!!!!! He gonna open up a can of whoopass!!!!!

VJ: Austin is staring a hole into Lightning’s head! Lightning has the I-C Belt over his shoulder and…he just told Austin to bring it!!!! Austin and Lightning are gonna go at it!!! They’re going face to face…

DD: Here we go…what??!

VJ: Lightning just nailed Rock with the I-C Title belt…STUNNER!!!!!!!!!!! Austin just called for some Steveweisers!!!! He tosses one to Lightning and we’ve got a celebration going on in the ring!!!

(Glass Shatters again and Austin’s theme song starts back up. Lightning and Austin start walking back to the dressing room)

DD: That was so gay!

VJ: Austin and Lightning are celebrating…meanwhile the Rock is trying to get back to his feet in the ring. Wait a minute…Rock just called for a mic.

DD: Yeah Rock! Lightning had no right to bring that damn wino in here to assault you! Give em a piece of the People’s Mind!

Rock: Well the Rock says this. Lightning, you have the audacity to come out here in front of the Millions and Millions of the Rock’s fans and you bring out Stone Cold Steve Austin?! Well Lightning, anytime your monkey ass wants a piece of the Great One…walk down the People’s…

VJ: Austin’s back in the ring!!!

DD: Look out Rock!!!!!!!!!

VJ: STUNNER!!!!!!!!!!!!! Lightning hits the ring too and he’s pouring beer all over the Rock!!!!!!!!!!!

DD: This is the darkest moment in the history of the NFWA!

VJ: Lightning has the mic!!!

Lightning: Hey Rock, You want to come to the NFWA and run your mouth, well I decided to call up the biggest trash talker I know the toughest SOB, the best damn Redkneck from Texas Stone Cold Steve Austin So Rock I guess Paybacks a bitch. (Austin takesthe mic)

Austin: IF ya think Rock is nothing but trash give me a Hell Yeah..(Hell Yeah) If You think Stone Cold should stick around till this sumbitch is out of this fed for good give me a Hell Yeah (Hell Yeah) Well Rock, It looks like Stone Cold's not leaving till, I hang your Brahma bull head on my mantel, and Stone Cold is going to make your life a living hell from now untill your gone...And thats the bottom line...Cause Stone Cold.....Said So....(Glass Breaks and "Ride the Lightning hits)

VJ: Well…

DD: I have nothing to say about this. Those damn alcoholics!!!! Rock will get his payback!!!!

VJ: Well ladies and gents, up next it’s the battle for the ownership, it’s Prez Panther going 1 on 1 with Commish Firestorm and we have Panther in the back right now with the Dynasty.

(Camera cuts back to the Dynasty’s locker room where Panther is with Krazed, Raven, Death and Tina)

RS: Well, Panther…we’re just moments away from you putting the control of the NFWA on the line against Firestorm. What’s going through your mind right now?

Prez: Rosie, let me tell you something, Firestorm comes out here and tries to be a big shot. He wants to try and come out here and run the show like he’s P-Diddy! Well Firestorm, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, this is MY SHOW!!! The floor you’re standing on right now is my floor!!!!!! The air that you’re breathing right now is my air! When you step out to the ring in about 2 minutes, you will be standing in my ring! Face it Commish, this is my world and for almost 3 months I’ve been allowing you to exist in this world. But that all ends tonight! Tonight, you’re gonna find out what my World is all about and your world will come to an end. There’s no excuses. Stomach flu or no stomach flu, Chyna or no Chyna, Dynasty or no Dynasty, nothing, but NOTHING is gonna keep me from dropping Da Bomb on you and sending your ass right back into the garbage where I found you! You making rules, huh Commish? Well here’s one for you to remember: There’s no right way, there’s no wrong way, there’s only the Panther’s Way…AND THERE CAN’T BE ANY OTHER WAY!!!!!!!!!

RS: Thank you Panther. Back to you Dave!

VJ: Back to Dave?!

Battle for control of the Fed: Commish Firestorm Vs Prez Panther

(The lights begin to flicker on and off in the arena before going out completely. After 30 seconds darkness, a huge pyro blast goes off in the aisle. The Dynasty theme starts up over the PA system and a flashing red light covers the arena as Prez Panther appears in the aisle and begins to walk down to the ring. The crowd gives him a mixed reaction as he climbs onto the ring apron and steps into the ring. He climbs onto the ropes, slowly raises his fist into the air and more pyro shoots from the ringposts. The lights come back on and the music dies down)

DD: Do you think Prez Panther is well enough to wrestle this match?

VJ: Panther has unfortunately fell victim to the stomach flu and he must go…what the hell!!!! It’s those guys in the cloaks again!!!!! They just attacked Prez Panther from behind much like they did to Krazed and Chyna earlier on!!!! Get some help out here!!!

DD: This is…this is…what the hell is this, Vince?

VJ: 1 of those men in the cloaks just lifted Panther back up and now he’s holding him…Panther has been busted open!!! The other guy tries to hit Panther with the pipe…he missed and hit the other guy!!!! Panther Cutter on 1 of the cloaked men!!!!!!! Prez Panther has been able to fend off…

(The lights turn orage and flames shoot up from the stage and around the ring. “Frayed Ends of Sanity” plays as Commish Firestorm rides out on his Harley and rides down the ramp to the ring. When he gets to ringside, he parks his bike in the aisle. His music dies down)

Ding Ding Ding!!!

VJ: Firestorm’s getting a steel chair and he’s bringing it into the ring. That’s not good for Panther. The Commish is headed in now…OH!!!!

DD: Whoa!!!

VJ: Prez Panther just baseball slid that steel chair right into the mouth of Firestorm. Firestorm is hurt and now Panther is climbing to the top rope early…Firestorm doesn’t see him and Panther takes to the air…OH MY GOD!!!!!!! Firestorm just caught Prez Panther in midair!!!!! Look at the strength of this 7ft monster!!!!!

DD: He’s swinging Panther around like a rag doll! Maybe Prez should’ve picked on somebody his own size.

VJ: Firestorm still has Panther up and he bench presses him over his head with 1 hand!!!!!! Have you ever seen anything like this??? He tosses Panther over the top rope and into the ring!!! This may have been a BIG mistake for the 5’11” 198-lb Prez! Firestorm picks up that chair and he’s headed into the ring. I don’t think Prez Panther even knows where he is…Firestorm with a big forearm shot to the back of Panther. And again!!!! 1 more time!!!

DD: HAHA! He’s toying with Panther. This has to be the easiest match Firestorm has ever had.

VJ: Panther definitely let his ego get the better of him this time. Firestorm picks Panther up by the throat…he launches him across the ring and Panther hits hard! Firestorm is laughing! He’s measuring Panther for something…he charges in and nails him with an incredible clothesline.

DD: Oh! It’s Trish!!!

VJ: Trish Stratus looks like she likes what she sees. Firestorm looks extremely overconfident and the Prez is out of it. Firestorm just grabbed Prez Panther by the hair and pulls him back to his feet…he told Trish to get a table!!!

DD: AH HA! WOOD!!!!

VJ: Trish just slid that table into the ring and now Firestorm is setting it up!!! This looks like the beginning of the end for Panther.

DD: All hail the new owner of the NFWA!!!

VJ: Firestorm picks Panther up…Powerbomb…Panther counters and somehow manages to wiggle free! Firestorm tries to catch him with a clothesline but Panther ducks…OH!!!! Superkick catches Firestorm right on the jaw and he falls back onto the table!!!!!!! Panther goes to the ring apron and takes a leap to the top rope…look out…frog splash through the table on Firestorm!!!! Prez goes for the cover…

DD: No he’s not! He’s trying to assassinate Firestorm!!!

VJ: Panther is hammering away with big rights to the brain of the Commish and now he’s slamming the back of his head against the pieces of the table!!! Panther looks pretty pissed and…he’s got a chair!!! Prez is waiting for Firestorm to get up…OH!!!!!!! He just took his head off!!!!! Firestorm just fell like a redwood tree and hit hard off the floor!!!

DD: Trish, get some help for him.

VJ: Trish doesn’t look to good right now and neither does Panther. I hear both of them have been bothered by a stomach flu…

DD: Thanks to that slut Chyna!

VJ: Panther looks like he’s headed over here!

DD: I didn’t mean what I said about Chyna!!!

VJ: Panther is headed back to the top rope once again!!! Firestorm is back to his feet…Panther connects with a corkscrew Plancha and he’s all over the Commish right now!! Oh no!!!!!!! Trish just nailed Panther with a low blow from behind!!!

DD: Hahaha!!! Paybacks are a bitch!

VJ: And so is Trish. Trish is laughing in Panther’s face…uh oh!!! Here comes Tina!!!

DD: What’s she doing out here! Get away!!!

VJ: Tina is out here and she’s trying to get a piece of Trish…Firestorm just caught her by the throat!!! Leave Tina alone!!!

DD: She didn’t have any business being out here!!

VJ: Come on!!! Don’t do it…Big time on Tina!!!!! Her head just hit hard off the floor!!! Panther just speared Firestorm but he couldn’t take him down…OH!!! Powerbomb on the floor by Firestorm!!! The Prez is done right here!!! Firestorm lifts him up by the hair and tosses him into the ring. This pretty much looks like the end for Panther.

DD: Damn…I always liked Panther, too. I feel sorry for his mother.

VJ: You asshole! I think Commish Firestorm could finish this anytime he wants to…he just asked Trish to get him another table.

DD: Panther’s gonna get wood if it’s the last thing…

VJ: OH WOULD YOU SHUT UP ABOUT WOOD????! Trish just shoved that table into Firestorm and it looks like it’s all over. Firestorm just said he’s going for the Big Time through the table!!!

DD: I’ll miss you Panther!!!!

VJ: Here it comes…he lifts Panther up for the Big Time…OH MY!!!!!!!!! Panther counters with a Panther Cutter through the table!!!!!!! What a move!!!! Panther hooks the leg…1…2…Trish just pulled the ref out of the ring!!!!! Trish slaps the ref and he goes down! Panther had the damn thing won! Panther is getting up in Trish’s face now!

DD: Prez, look out for Firestorm!!!!

VJ: Firestorm is back up but Panther doesn’t see him! He charges in at Panther…SPINEBUSTER by Panther on Firestorm!!!!! I can’t believe he just did that!!!! Panther with the cover…the ref is back in…1…2…kickout by Firestorm!!!

DD: Panther’s feeling it now!! He’s getting hot!!!

VJ: Panther picks the Commish back up…Irish whips him to the buckle…running dropkick right to the face of Firestorm!!! Panther tries for a slam but it’s too much weight!!!! Firestorm knocks Panther to his knees with a shot to the back of the head. He’s climbing to the top rope…Panther springs back to his feet and he shakes the ropes and Firestorm has a tender landing!!!! Prez climbs up to the top with Firestorm…he can’t do that!!! I don’t believe…Pantherplex from the top rope on Firestorm!!! 1…2…kickout by the Commish!!!!

DD: What’s that that Trish has?

VJ: She just pulled a bucket out from underneath the ring…don’t tell me that she has another bucket of vomit!

DD: I think that’s exactly what it is!

VJ: This isn’t good at all. Trish is sneaking up behind Panther with that bucket of vomit…look out Panther!!!

DD: Here comes the payback!!!

VJ: Panther turns around at the last second and Trish just froze in her tracks.

DD: Don’t hurt her, Panther. She’s too sexy to die!!! Wait a minute…watch out Trish!!!

VJ: Tina just snatched that bucket of vomit from Trish and she dumps it over Trish’s head again!!!!!!!! Trish Stratus has been covered in vomit once again!!!!!!!

DD: NOOOOOO!!!

VJ: Trish is livid! Tina with a boot to the stomach…she spikes Trish with the DDTina!!!! Firestorm is back up again…he swings at Panther but he misses…Tina with a low blow…Panther Cutter!! Panther just signaled for the end!!!! He’s getting ready for Da Bomb!! He picks up the Commish…here it comes…

DD: he can’t lift him!!!!

VJ: Panther just tried to give the Commish Da Bomb but he’s too heavy. Firestorm gives Panther a back body drop and runs through Tina with a clothesline. Panther is back up and he walks right into the huge hand of the Commish!!! Big Time on Panther!!! It’s over!!!!!

DD: Pin him Firestorm!!! Pin him!!!!

VJ: This crowd is booing Firestorm like crazy and he’s just standing there laughing! Firestorm has laid out both Panther and Tina but he won’t go for the pin!!! Firestorm climbs to the top rope and he’s posing for the fans…it’s Chyna!!! Chyna is on her way down here!

DD: What do these bitches want from Firestorm?

VJ: Chyna is walking down the ramp and Firestorm is laughing at her…she’s carrying a bag…Firestorm is talking some serious trash to Chyna out on the floor.

DD: Firestorm, go for the pin…what the f*ck is that?!

VJ: Chyna just pulled out that C-2000 bazooka of hers…OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!! She just shot Firestorm in the face with that bazooka!!!!!!!! Prez Panther is back up and he sneaks up behind Firestorm…OH!!!! Da Bomb on Firestorm!!!!!!!!! The bazooka fired into the face of Firestorm followed by Da Bomb and now Panther makes the cover..1…2…damn it!!!! Those cloaked men are back out here again!!!! They’re attacking Prez Panther and Chyna…this is ridiculous…

DD: It’s the Thug Posse!!!

VJ: The Thug Posse just came from the crowd and they’re attacking the men in the cloaks!!!!! Olympic Slam by 1 of those thugs on 1 of the cloaked men!!! He just ripped the cloak off…that’s Reaper!!!!!!!! Reaper was the man in the cloak who attacked Krazed and Chyna earlier…OH!!! Prez nails him with a chairshot to the back of the head! Angle grabs the other one and rips his cloak off…that’s that man in white that we saw with Firestorm and Reaper on Gear…Panther nails him with a chairshot!!!

DD: Damn! That’s one pissed off kitty!!!!

VJ: Here comes Sniper now!!! Sniper walks down the aisle and into the ring…is the Thug Posse in cahoots with the Dynasty?

DD: How many times do I have to tell you this: Sniper doesn’t know them!

VJ: Sniper is in the ring now and it looks like the Bomb Squad is fixing to show Firestorm what a Dynasty-style ass kicking is—WHAT THE HELL???! SNIPER BOMB ON PANTHER!!!!!!!!!!! SNIPER BOMB ON PANTHER!!!!!!!!!! NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DD: What’s going on here, Vince???!

VJ: I have no clue! Sniper just called the Posse and they’re leaving!!! Sniper is leaving with the Thug Posse!!!

DD: Told ya he doesn’t know them.

VJ: Trish just handcuffed Chyna to the ringpost…Firestorm with 1 arm across the chest…NO!!! 1…2…3!!!!

Ding Ding Ding!!!

Announcer: Here is your winner, and the new owner of the NFWA: Commish Firestorm!!!!!!!!!

VJ: I can’t believe this bullsh*t!!!!!!! Prez Panther has pulled some lowdown, dirty tricks in the past but he didn’t deserve to be screwed like that!!!!

DD: I can’t believe what we’ve just seen!!! We’ve got a new owner of the NFWA!!!! This is great!!!

VJ: Reaper and this other guy just picked up Firestorm…he can barely walk after Panther gave him Da Bomb but they’re escaping like thieves in the night!!!! I can’t…this is disgusting!!!

DD: What did Sniper attack Panther for?!

VJ: I can’t believe this!!!! Prez Panther has been robbed here…is he still the Prez? I don’t know what to say. Nothing like this has ever happened before? Ladies and gentlemen, the Royal Rumble is next! Let’s take a look at how everyone got here.

(Highlight video plays showing clips of the Tag Team matches)

12 Man Royal Rumble (Winner gets a shot at the World Champ at Apocalypse Now!)

(Prez Panther is leaving the ring with Chyna and Tina when the Rumble is about to start. Suddenly “Highway to Hell” starts up and Anarchy walks out. He passes Prez Panther in the aisle)

DD: What’s going on here?

VJ: Panther and Anarchy are having a few words. Tonight hasn’t been a good night for the Prez so you can imagine how he’s feeling! Anarchy just shoved Panther! Panther just shoved Anarchy back!!!

DD: Were supposed to be having the Royal Rumble but we’ve got another Rumble on our hands!!!

VJ: Panther and Anarchy are going face to face, nose to nose…we’ve got officials out here to try and get these 2 separated!!!! Panther is pissed and he just spit right in Anarchy’s face!!!! Panther is irate!

DD: I can’t believe…Anarchy has a sledgehammer!! Look out Panther!!!!

VJ: Anarchy just hit Panther right between the shoulder blades with that sledgehammer!!!!! I can’t believe he just did that!!! Chyna catches him on the jaw with a right hand…Doomsday Drop on her!!!! Anarchy has just savagely attacked Prez Panther with that sledgehammer!!!

DD: He had it coming! He spit in the man’s face!

(A lightning bolt strikes the aisle and “Ride the Lightning” starts up)

VJ: It’s Lightning!!! Lightning must be #2 in the rumble and he just ran from the back and nailed Anarchy with a big clothesline!!!!! Lightning is all over Anarchy in the aisle!!! This is the Royal Rumble right here but they have to make it to the ring for this to start!!!! Lightning with an Irish whip sends Anarchy crashing into the guardrail!!! There’s another Irish whip…reversal by Anarchy sends Lightning crashing into the steel stairs at ringside!!! Anarchy is going back for Panther…Lightning from behind catches him with a clothesline! He has Anarchy by the hair and tosses him into the ring…this one is underway!!!!

Ding Ding  Ding!!!

VJ: Every 59 secs another wrestler will enter the ring and look at Lightning go to work on Anarchy in the corner!!! Huge right hands to the side of the head and now he’s putting the boots to him!!! Irish whip by Lightning sends Anarchy to the buckle…Lightning sends him for a ride with a back body drop!!!! Lightning mounts Anarchy and his hammering away with rapid-fire right hands to the side of the head!!!!

DD: Somebody get some help for Prez Panther.

VJ: Chyna and Tina are helping up the Prez in the aisle and it looks like they’re gonna get him some medical attention! He’s coughing up blood over there and that’s not good!

Crowd: 10…9…8…7…6…5…4…3…2..1…(BUZZ)

(Stak’s music starts up over the PA system. Staks runs from the crowd and attacks Lightning)

VJ: Staks is in there and he’s hammering away on Lightning!!!! Big right hands to the side of the head by Staks and now he just took off his belt…he’s strangling Lightning with it!!

DD: Choke his ass out!!! Choke him out!!!!

VJ: Stak’s picks up Lightning and tosses him over the top rope…he’s trying to hang Lightning!!!! Staks is trying to hang Lightning by that belt!!!!

DD: You idiot! Let him go so he’ll be eliminated!

VJ: Anarchy from behind just nailed Staks with an axehandle blow!!!! Once again he catches him with a forearm shot to the back of the head, which allows Lightning to get some breathing time. Anarchy sends Staks to the ropes…big powerslam by Anarchy!!!!!!!

 Crowd: 10…9…8…7…6…5…4…3…2..1…(BUZZ)

(“Get on Top” plays over the PA system as Ice Cube walks down the aisle. Before he can get to the ring, he’s attacked from behind by #1 Hardcore)

DD: What in the world???!

VJ: #1 Hardcore is out here and he wants a piece of Ice Cube in the worst way!!!! #1 Hardcore grabs Cube by the hair…BOOM! He slams him hard into the Steel guardrail!!!!

DD: This isn’t fair Vince!!! You know it isn’t!!!

VJ: Hardcore isn’t done it looks like! He picks up Ice Cube…NO!!!! Piledriver on the arena floor!!! Where’s the Professional???

DD: I don’t know!

VJ: Hardcore tosses Cube into the ring…that wasn’t very nice!

DD: You have the nerve to make jokes at the expense of Ice Cube! You suck Johnson, Vince!!!!!

VJ: (pause) I think you said my name backwards.

Crowd: 10…9…8…7…6…5…4…3…2..1…(BUZZ)

(“The Way I Am” plays as Bruiser runs out to the ring)

VJ: Rick Bruiser is headed out to the ring and Lightning isn’t wasting any time!!!! Lightning rushes to the floor and he goes right at Rick Bruiser with right hands!!! We’ve got a big brawl on the floor between Bruiser and Lightning! Meanwhile…Staks is waiting on Ice Cube…BOOM!!! Ice Cube just got eliminated with a helluva clothesline by Staks!

DD: No, he got eliminated by #1 Hardcore!!!

VJ: Staks is celebrating…OH!!! He just got caught from behind by Anarchy…Staks is gone!!!!!! Meanwhile Lightning and Bruiser have fought over to the Columbian Announce Table…

DD: I told you Lightning was smuggling drugs into the NFWA!

VJ: Stop! Oh no!!! Anarchy has that sledgehammer….he’s sneaking up behind Lightning and Bruiser…OH GOD!!! He just tried to take their heads off!!!! Lightning just tossed a pitcher of water in Anarchy’s face…Bruiser nails Lightning in the back of the head with a chairshot!!! Anarchy is blinded and Bruiser takes advantage with a big shot to his head!!! Bruiser tosses Anarchy into the ring and it looks like he’s gonna try for the elimination…

Crowd: 10…9…8…7…6…5…4…3…2..1…(BUZZ)

(The lights flicker blue and “Break Stuff” starts up over the PA. Lance “Da Man” runs out with a trashcan full of weapons and tosses it into the ring)

DD: Look out!!!!

VJ: OH!!! That trashcan just hit Anarchy right in the brain!!!! Lance looks underneath the ring and pulls out a ladder…he’s climbing to the top of that ladder…high cross body and he takes out Ricky Bruiser!!!!

DD: Call the white coats!! This guy is crazy!!!

VJ: Lightning is in the ring and Lance catches him with a right to the jaw…he picks up a cello…BOOM!!! Cello shot to the head of Lightning!!! Anarchy from behind just nailed Lance in the back of the knee with a baseball bat!!! Anarchy is mauling Lance now…Lance is in some serious trouble! Anarchy picks him up and he’s trying to get him out of the ring…Lightning just speared Bruiser on the other side of the ring!!!!! This match is getting out of hand!!!!

DD: It’s total chaos out here!

VJ: Lightning has brass knuckles and he backs Bruiser to the buckle.  He mounts him in punching position…1…2…3…4…5…6…7…8…9…10!!! Anarchy from behind nails Lightning with a low blow!!!!!! Anarchy shoves Lightning off the top and Lightning’s gone!

DD: No! 1 foot hit the floor!

VJ: Lightning sneaks back into the ring…he blasts Anarchy with a bulldog!!!!

Crowd: 10…9…8…7…6…5…4…3…2..1…(BUZZ)

(“Hit Em Up” by 2Pac plays as Krazed runs down to the ring with a crowbar! He immediately goes after Anarchy with it)

VJ: Krazed is attacking Anarchy with that crowbar!!! He’s hammering away right to the knee!

DD: Why is it that everybody in the NFWA seems to be pissed off at Anarchy!

VJ: Because he’s a damn troublemaker!!! I don’t know if this personal or if it’s payback from Anarchy’s attack on Panther before this match!!! Krazed is trying to choke Anarchy with that crowbar now…Lightning grabs him by the hair and drives him to the mat with an inverted DDT!!!! Lightning gets back up and Bruiser clips his knee!!!! Bruiser has the same brass knuckles that Lightning used against him a little while ago…but I don’t think he knows where he is!!!

DD: Rick, you’re in the Royal Rumble! Lightning’s right in front of you!!! Look out!!!

VJ: Lightning with a low blow just nailed him!!!!! He picks up the same crowbar that Krazed just had…shot right to the jaw of Bruiser sends him falling over the top rope!!!! Bruiser is gone!!!!

Crowd: 10…9…8…7…6…5…4…3…2..1…(BUZZ)

(#1 Hardcore’s theme plays as he runs down the aisle to the ring. Before he can get to the ring, Ice Cube runs out from under the ring and throws a sack over his head)

DD: Oh my God!! Ice Cube is gonna rape #1 Hardcore!!!

VJ: He is not!!! Ice Cube just came out from underneath the ring and threw a sack over his head…Ice Breaker on #1 Hardcore!!! Ice Cube has snapped on Hardcore!! He slams him headfirst into the steel stairs!!!! Ice Cube has assaulted Hardcore and throws him into the ring with that sack on his head!

DD: Paybacks are hell, Hardcore!!!

VJ: #1 Hardcore is in the ring now…Krazed with a clothesline sends him packing!!! #1 Hardcore is gone!!!

(Camera cuts backstage where we see the Professional sitting in a corner rocking back and forth. Shyanne walks into the room)

Shyanne: Hey Pro…what’s wrong?

Professional: GET AWAY FROM ME!!!!!!! You’re just like the rest of them!!!!!!

Shyanne: What?

Professional: Don’t play dumb with me…I know!!! You’re trying to kill me aren’t you??!!!

Shyanne: No…I’m not trying to kill you!!!!

Professional: LIARRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Pro gets up and starts breaking things. Shyanne runs out of the room and the camera cuts back to ringside)

VJ:…

DD:…

Crowd: 10…9…8…7…6…5…4…3…2..1…(BUZZ)

(Sammy T’s theme plays over the PA system as he runs down the aisle with Double C’s cane. He immediately goes after Lightning)

DD: Pro done lost his damn mind!

VJ: Yup. Meanwhile Sammy T. is in there and he’s beating the snot out of Lightning with that cane! Anarchy sends Krazed to the ropes…he catches him with a Stun Gun! Anarchy’s got Krazed up and he’s about to go out…Lance just nailed Sammy T. with an amazing dropkick!!! Lance picks up that dented trashcan…big shot right to the head of Sammy T!!!! Lance tried to toss Sammy he’s able to hold on!!!!! Krazed and Anarchy are still wrestling along the ropes…Lightning is trying to recover in the corner. There are 3 men left to join in this Royal Rumble!!! The Rock, Big Foot and Killa! Each of these men are fighting to see who gets the World Title shot live at Apocalypse Now on PPV!!

Crowd: 10…9…8…7…6…5…4…3…2..1…(BUZZ)

(The lights start flashing blue and “Break Stuff” starts up over the PA system. Killa runs out with another trashcan full of weapons and tosses it into the ring. He pulls out a barbwire baseball bat and starts to attack Sammy T.!)

VJ: Here we go!!!!!! We’ve got more weapons and now Killa is out here! Killa just nailed Sammy T. right in the head with that barbwire bat!!!!

DD: You can’t do that to Sweetness! He’s sweet!

VJ: (Snicker) Killa just hit T. in the ribs with it! Lance just picked up a mirror out of that garbage can…he shatters it over the head of Sammy T.!!!

DD: No fair!! It’s 2 on 1!!!

VJ: Killa and Lance working together to get Sammy T. out…HE’S GONE!!!!!!!!

DD: NOOO!!

VJ: Sammy T. is gone…Lightning just nailed Killa with brass knuckles to the jaw…clothesline and now Lance has been eliminated!!!!

Crowd: 10…9…8…7…6…5…4…3…2..1…(BUZZ)

(The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly plays over the PA system as Big Foot runs down to the ring.)

VJ: Here comes Big Foot…OH! He hit his cousin Lightning!!!! Lightning fires back on Big Foot…we’ve got a brawl between the cousins!!!

DD: This brings new meaning to a family feud!

VJ: Big Foot and Lightning are trading blows…Anarchy and Killa break up that little fight!!! Now Anarchy and Killa are going at it…Lightning catches Killa from behind with a double axehandle. Krazed catches Big Foot from behind with a big boot!!!! Krazed slams him hard into the buckle!!!!! We’re all awaiting the Rock now! Any second the former I-C Champion will step through those curtains and the entrance will be complete! Here we go…

Crowd: 10…9…8…7…6…5…4…3…2..1…(BUZZ)

(“IF YA SMELL WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKIN!!!!” The Rock runs down the aisle and heads straight for Lightning!!!!)

VJ: Rock is pissed off at Lightning because of that whole Austin situation earlier on!

DD: Yeah, Rock’s pissed off and Lightning’s about to get pissed on!

VJ: Rock throws Lightning out to the floor…Rock sneaks up behind Anarchy and drives him to the mat with a DDT!

DD: The Rock is full of piss and vinaegar!

VJ: He follows Lightning out here and he’s got the ring bell…he nails Lightning right in the head and knocks him on top of the…what the hell is that announce table called again?!

DD: You non-geographical jackass!!! It’s the Columbian Table!

VJ: Lightning is on top of the Columbian Table with the Rock…Rock takes a sip of water and spits it right in Lightning’s eyes! He grabs Lightning now…Rock Bottom through the table!!!!!!

DD: Juan Valdez can kick my ass!!!!!!

VJ: That’s always nice to know. Back in the ring…Killa and Big Foot are fighting along the ropes…OH!!! Krazed tossed that trashcan right at their heads and both men go tumbling over the top and to the floor!!!! Killa and Big Foot are gone! We’re down to Krazed, Lightning, Anarchy and the Rock!!!! Anarchy and Krazed are alone in the ring and these 2 are squaring off…here we go!!!!!!! Krazed and Anarchy are going back and forth with right hands!!! Irish whip by Krazed…he tosses a chair to Anarchy and Anarchy almost took his head off!!! Anarchy is pounding away at Krazed with repeated chairshots! He picks Krazed up and backs him to the corner…Anarchy is trying to get Krazed up and over the top rope! Krazed is going out…no! He counters with a thumb to the eyes!!! Supernova on Anarchy by Krazed!!!! Anarchy is gone…Krazed hits off the ropes…whoa!!!! The Rock was getting back into the ring and he accidentally low bridged Krazed!!! Krazed is eliminated thanks to the Rock!

DD: Accident my ass! The Rock knew exactly what he was doing! Back in the ring…the Rock is measuring Anarchy…Rock Bottom!!!! The Rock just hit Anarchy with the Rock Bottom, and now he’s about to go for the most electrifying move in Sports-Entertainment today…the People’s Elbow!!! Rock hits off 1 side…he hits off the other…he drives the elbow right into the heart Anarchy!!! Krazed is in the ring…Krazed just nailed Rock with a chairshot!!!

VJ: Hey, shut your damn mouth, Skankhole! Play by play is my job!

DD: Don’t make me bust a cap in your ass!

VJ: Krazed just bashed Rocky in the head with that chair and he’s leaving!!! The Rock is trying to get back up…Anarchy with a stomp to the back of the head…The Rock is gone!!!! We’re down to…Lightning just tried to clothesline Anarchy out but got back body dropped over the top and onto the ring apron…Lightning with a right hand to the jaw…slingshot clothesline by Lightning just drilled Anarchy!!!!

DD: Hey, Lightning and Anarchy were the 1st 2, and they’re the last 2!

VJ: True!!! These 2 have given it their all tonight…it’s the Professional!!!!!

DD: What???!

VJ: The Pro is out here with a steel chair and he just blasted Anarchy!!!! The Pro has snapped and he’s attacking Anarchy!!!! The Professional has lost his mind!

DD: Some body send that crackhead back to the nut house where he belongs!

VJ: Professional just nailed Lightning with a chairshot! The Pro is doing a number on Lightning and Anarchy…the referees are getting in there to stop him but Pro is taking them out too!!!!

DD: What the f*ck is wrong with him?

VJ: We’ve got the NFWA Discipline Committee out here with…tranquilizer gun?! They’re shooting at the Pro with tranquilizers!!!

DD: This is some crazy…(Gets shot in the arm with a tranquilizer dart)…hey Vince…Vince…Vince…(Passes out)

VJ: Hasn’t been a good night for Dave! They have shot the Professional with tranquilizer guns and now they’re carrying him away from ringside! That’s a 1st!! Anarchy is trying to get back to his feet…Lightning tossed him over the top!!! Lightning wins!!!!!!

DD: I didn’t hear a bell!!!

VJ: Lightning just tossed Anarchy over the top rope and to the floor, so Lightning will be going on to Apocalyse no…Anarchy just ran back into the ring and attacked Lightning from behind….DOOMSDAY DROP!!!!!!! Anarchy tosses Lightning over the top rope!!!

Ding Ding Ding!!!

Announcer: Here is your winner: Anarchy!!!!!!!!

DD: HAHAHAHA!!!!

VJ: No! Anarchy was eliminated by Lightning!

DD: 1 foot touched!

VJ: Both feet touched!!!!!!! He was standing right in front of us!!!

DD: Everybody knows you lazy eyed baboons up in Canada can’t see if your lives depended on it! Shut your damn mouth and praise the winner of the Royal Rumble!!!

VJ: Anarchy has actually stolen this one from Lightning…Tina is out here now and he’s talking to the referee about something. She’s telling the ref that Anarchy was already eliminated!!!

DD: She’s a damn liar!!!!!! I curse that lying witch!

VJ: Tina is trying to tell the ref what really happened…OH!!! Anarchy just hit Tina in the back of the head with a wrench! What kind of man is he?! Doomsday Device on Tina!!!!!

DD: Well that settles it, Anarchy is the winner…

(Footage appears on the Panthertron of Anarchy being eliminated by Lightning)

DD: No!!! That’s not true!!!

VJ: We have video taped proof! Anarchy was already eliminated by Lightning!!!

DD: That’s not true! That wasn’t Anarchy…that was a stunt double!!!

VJ: Will you stop!!!

Announcer: The referee’s decision is that because Anarchy was already eliminated before the elimination of Lightning, this match must continue!!!!

DD: Bullsh*t!!!!!!!!

VJ: Finally a fair ruling here tonight!!! Anarchy is pissed off! He’s headed back to the ring and he’s arguing with the referees…Lightning has Anarchy by the head…Anarchy nails Lightning in the throat with a right hand!!! Anarchy slides into the ring…that’s Scarlet KV…clothesline to the back of the head of Anarchy!!!!!! Lightning grabs him by the head…Anarchy is gone!!!!!!!!!

Ding Ding Ding!!!

Announcer: Here is your UNDISPUTED winner of the Royal Rumble: Lightning!!!!!!!

DD: What the f*ck is going on here?!

VJ: Lightning got the win!

DD: Who does this Scarlet KV think that he is?! Anarchy just got robbed!!!!!

VJ: Yeah, well why don’t you demand a recount!!! Lightning picks up the win with a slight assist form Scarlet KV!!! Anarchy is angry and he’s going to the locker room after KV!!!! Lightning is the winner but not without controversy! Fans, thanks for joining us here from Seattle! We’ll see you next month at Apocalypse Now!!!!!!!!!

©2000 Panther 187 Productions