(The NFWA logo appears on the screen then slowly fades into darkness. The highlight video plays, showing clips of the original Kamikaze Match, when Panther blows up the building, Firestorm's return at Total Annihilation, the formation of the Bronx Bad Boys, Shawn Michaels collapsing on WWF TV, Sniper and the Posse attacking HBK, Squirrel being revealed as the Masked man, Killa winning the #1 Contendership after Anarchy interferes, and Squirrel winning it back on FNS after Anarchy interferes. The Game Time theme and opening video play on the screen as the camera cuts to the sold out crowd in New Orleans cheering and holding up signs as pyro goes off in the ring and over by the entrance. When the pyro stops, the camera pans the crowd and we see signs such as "It's Game Time!", "Squirrel 4:20", "Hogan's a Man baby!!!!!!" (???), and "Killa got robbed". The camera cuts to the announce table where Vince Johnson and Delaware Dave are seated)
VJ: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to New Orleans! Welcome to the Big Easy! Welcome to Game Time! I'm your host, Vince Johnson alongside Delaware Dave, and this PPV is shaping up to be the most controversial PPV of all time!
DD: You ain't lying, Johnson! 1st we've got the controversy over the Main Event match between Squirrel and Lightning for the World Title! Squirrel got screwed out the match last week on FNS and it was supposed to be Killa Vs Lightning, but last night all of that changed again cuz of Anarchy! So now Killa is pissed off!
VJ: There's definitely a lot of controversy surrounding that match, not to mention what we saw last night on FNS between Sniper and HBK! Shawn Michaels arrived at the building last night hoping to find Sniper, only to find out that Sniper had kidnapped his wife Rebecca! We have no idea where they are…we haven't heard from Sniper or HBK since the incident, but they will both be here tonight and they will do battle in a HIGH INCIDENT MATCH!!!!!!
DD: Yeah, they'll both be here, but tell em who won't be here! Tell em!!!!!
VJ: Well folks, as we all know, last night on FNS the odds were evened out! It was GX, with Lightning replacing Ice Cube and Big Foot filling out the handicap, going up against the Firestorm-led LoD, but unfortunately GX has another problem to deal with. Last night, Panther was viciously assaulted by the Bronx Bad Boys in his match against Hollywood Hogan, and was again assaulted by Prez Firestorm backstage. Earlier this morning, we were informed by doctors that Panther has suffered bruised ribs and a concussion, and he has been asked not to compete here tonight.
DD: HAHAHA! That's greater than great! And we still don't know where his little Chyna Doll is, do we?!
VJ: Anarchy and his gang kidnapped her last night…there's been a lot of that going on lately. What is gonna happen here tonight in that Kamikaze match?! Who is gonna be Panther's replacement?! Will Lightning make it to his World Title defense against Squirrel tonight?! Ladies and gentlemen, let's kick this card off!!!!!!
TV Title 4-Way Dance of Death: Scarlet KV (Champion) Vs Rage Vs Staks Vs Big Foot
("Fear" blasts over the PA system as red, blue, green and purple lights flash over the arena. Red pyros shoot up on stage to form an "X" as Rage steps out onto the stage carrying the X-Treme Title Belt over his shoulder. He walks down the aisle, tags a few hands in the crowd before he slides into the ring, climbs to the top rope and raises the belt up over his head. When he hops down, the music dies down as the lights go out and start to flicker orange. Lightning bolts criss cross in the ring, "Hell's Bells" starts up over the PA system and the crowd cheers as Big Foot walks out and heads down to the ring. He steps over the top rope and raises his arms into the air as the crowd goes crazy. His music dies down as "Southern Hospitality" blasts over the PA system. The crowd goes crazy as Staks hops over the barricade, slides into the ring and immediately attacks Big Foot and Rage)
Ding Ding Ding!!!
DD: Can they start this without the Champion???!
VJ: That's what they're doing!!!! Referee Al Gore has lost control already as Staks goes to work on Rage in the buckle…
DD: Wait a minute…they're GX, Staks!
VJ: Big Foot from behind locks Staks in a full nelson! That may not have been the smartest move by the thug…OH!!! Rage with a right hand to the stomach…and another!!!!!! Big Foot with a double axehandle to the back of the head of Staks…we've got a double team on the former TV Champion!!!!!
DD: This isn't fair! It's 2 on 1!!! Come on Staks!!!!! Throw dem bows!!!!!!!!
VJ: Staks is in serious trouble…
("Dragula" starts up over the PA system as Scarlet KV steps through the curtains with the TV and I-C Title belts)
DD: Here comes the Champ, Vince!
VJ: Scarlet KV, the I-C and TV Champion is out here and he looks like he's loving the attack on Staks in the ring. Remember last month at Total Annihilation where Scarlet got a VERY CONTROVERSIAL First Blood victory over Staks for the TV Belt, and until now Staks had never received a title sh…IT'S DOWNCAST!!!!!!!!!
DD: What???!
VJ: Downcast is here!!!!!! The former NFWA I-C Champion just nailed KV from behind with a clothesline….he grabs him by the hair and slams him hard into the steel barricade!!!!!
DD: Who the f*ck does this idiot think he is?! He's not even on the card tonight!!!!!
VJ: But Downcast is making his presence felt on the Champion!!!!!! Irish Whip by Downcast sends KV hard into the ring post!!!!!!!
DD: Where's the LoD when you need em???!
VJ: Downcast picks Scarlet up over his shoulder…he's bringing him over here!!!!
DD: Oh no!!! I thought we had enough close calls last night after that idiot Rage tried to blow up the ring! Don't tell me…
VJ: Downcast drops Scarlet KV facefirst off of the Temptation Island Announce Table…
DD: That announcer is NAKED!!!!!!!!!
VJ: Yes she is. And Downcast has KV on top of that table…he hooks the arms…I can't believe this folks…TOTAL DISPEAR THROUGH THE TABLE!!!!!!!!!!!!! DOWNCAST HAS JUST ANNIHILATED SCARLET KV!!!!!!!!
DD: I can't believe this bullsh*t! Here comes the LoD!!! Beat his ass! Beat it!!!!!
VJ: Kurt Angle, Glacier and Ice are out here with steel chairs and Downcast hops into the crowd!!!! The LoD hops out there after him…the chase is on!!!!! And KV is out!
DD: And that announcer IS NAKED!!!!!!!!!!!!
VJ: Yes she is, Dave. The TV Champion is out on the floor…the ref doesn't know what to do! This is no DQ, no count out and Staks is getting the living piss kicked out of him! Look at that!
DD: This match is so unfair! Whoever signed this needs to be shot! Where's my gat, Vince?!
VJ: (rolls his eyes) Idiot. Big Foot has Staks trapped in the corner…knee to the midsection!!! There's another one!!!!! Irish whip by Big Foot sends Staks crashing HARD off of the turnbuckle…bulldog by Rage puts him down in the center of the ring! Cover…1…2…kickout by Staks!!!! The thug is tough, I will say that for him! Big Foot picks Staks up…he's going for that Gut Wrench Powerbomb…Staks fights it with rapid-fire elbows to the kidneys of the big man! He hits off the ropes and nails Big Foot with a lariat…he won't go down…Rage with a clothesline puts Staks down!!!!
DD: How can you sit here and call the match like this when the Champion has been taken out?! That damn Downcast has ruined this match!!!!
VJ: Rage out to the floor is headed over to the Champion! He picks him up and tosses him into the ring, and now he's got the ring bell!
DD: Oh no, Vince! I don't like this!
VJ: Rage is standing over Scarlet KV with that ring bell…KV is trying to get at Rage with that hand blade but catches a boot to the dome…OH!!!!!!!!!!
DD: He just rang his bell!!!!!
VJ: Rage has just put KV down…cover…1…2…broken up by Staks! This is pin it, win it, by the way.
DD: What?
VJ: Pin it, win it. 1st pin wins.
DD: What's the 'it" that's being pinned?
VJ: Your cousin Michele! HA! Big Foot picks Staks back up by the throat…he's holding him for Rage, who's got that bell again…he swings and misses and hit Big Foot!! Staks ducked…schoolboy on Rage…1…2…Staks has done it again…no he hasn't!!!!!! Rage kicked out!!!! Staks picks Rage up by the hair and he backs him into the buckle…Staks doing a little bit of mudhole stomping on Rage…Irish whip by Staks sends Rage into the ropes…spinebuster! Cover…1…2…broken up by Big Foot!
DD: Can somebody please help out our TV Champion??!
VJ: KV is still down after that bell shot, and now Big Foot has Staks by the throat…CHOKESLAM!!!!!! Staks has been put down…and Big Foot just shoved Rage!
DD: uh oh! You know what I smell?!
VJ: Your upper lip? HA! I'm good tonight! Rage and Big Foot look to be having problems. They're both members of GX…
DD: But like I said last night, friendship is for suckas!!!!! This is about Championships…and that's all they care about! Look!
VJ: Big Foot and Rage are going at it now! They're trading punches in the center of the ring!!!!! This crowd is going nuts! Rage with a rake to the face…Irish whip…reversal by Big Foot sends Rage into the ropes…Big Boot by Big Foot!!!!!!!! Rage is down and Big Foot hits off the ropes…BIG LEG DROP!!!!!!! Rage is in some serious trouble…Staks clips the knee of Big Foot!!!!!!!! Big Foot dropped hard…Staks just picked Big Foot up by the hair…he drives him hard to the mat with a DDT!!!!!! Staks walks over to Scarlet KV and he picks him up…THUG PLEX!!!!! We've got a new Champion…1…2…kickout by Scarlet KV!!!! How did he do it?????!
DD: He's the greatest TV Champion I've ever seen!!!!!
VJ: Staks thought he had the belt won again! He picks Scarlet back up and tosses him into the buckle…he's hammering him with a barrage of rights, lefts and kicks…he is all over KV! He picks him up and sets him on the top rope…he's going for what looks like a superplex on Scarlet KV…KV is trying his hardest to block it!!!
DD: Come on, Scarlet!!!
VJ: Scarlet KV has his legs wrapped around the top rope to keep Staks from taking him over…here comes Big Foot now! Big Foot…he's climbing the ropes behind Staks!!!!!!!!
DD: What the hell are they doing?!
VJ: We've got Staks trying to superplex Scarlet KV and fight off Big Foot at the same time…why is Rage climbing the opposite corner?!
DD: Cuz he's an idiot! That's why!
VJ: Staks catches Big Foot right in the mouth with an elbow…he tries it again but Big Foot locks him in a waistlock or something…oh my…BELLY TO BACK SUPERPLEX ON STAKS BY BIG FOOT!!!!! Staks is down…Scarlet KV off the top rope with a kamikaze headbutt right to the groin of Big Foot!!!!!!!! Oh my God…OH!!!!!!!!!!!!! RARE AIRE ON STAKS!!!!!!!!!! Rage covers Staks…1…2…kickout!!!!!! KV covers Big Foot…1…2…kickout!!!!! What a match!
DD: Can you believe Staks kicked out of the Rare Aire?!
VJ: No.
DD: Well I can! That move ain't nothing but sh*t! Same about Rage! I can kick his ass with 2 arms tied behind my leg!
VJ: Rage picks up Staks and it looks like he's setting up for the Total Annihilation…OH!!!! Superkick by KV just nailed Rage right on the jaw!!!!! Big Foot from behind just grabbed KV…boot to the stomach…Demolition Bomb…OH NO!!!!! Staks with a low blow on Big Foot!!!!! Big Foot staggers over to the ropes…Staks charges in with a clothesline..whoa!!!!! They both go over the top rope and slam right into the steel stairs!!!!!!
DD: Man! Did you hear that???
VJ: Staks and Big Foot hit off of stairs…they may be out cold! Meanwhile back in the ring Rage is trying to get to his feet…Scarlet KV has that hand blade on!!!!!
DD: HAHA! We're fixing to slice and dice!
VJ: Rage doesn't see that he has it! He's walking over to KV, who's balled up in the corner…he lunges at Rage with that hand blade but he saw it coming!!!!!! He side steps him…here comes Total Annihilation…OH!!!
DD: What a counter by the TV Champ!!!!!
VJ: KV goes up and over and lands on his feet…he hits off the ropes..OH!!!! Drop toe hold by Rage sends KV crashing headfirst into the ring bell!!! KV may be out…oh no! Rage just grabbed KV's arm…the same one he's wearing the hand blade on…he just took the hand blade!!!!!!!
DD: You thief!!!!!!
VJ: Rage has the hand blade and he's putting it on!!!!! Back on the floor, Staks just pulled out a table!!!! Staks pulls a table out from under the ring and he's setting it up on the floor!
DD: New Orleans, are you ready for some WOOOOD???! Hey…what's he doing out here?!
VJ: Insane is standing in the aisle watching this match! What's that all about?!
DD: He's not gonna interfere, so shut up!!!
VJ: I…nevermind. Staks is picking up Big Foot…it looks like he's about to slam him through that table but he's too heavy!!!! Big Foot is too heavy!!!
DD: Staks, you need to get out of there!
VJ: Big Foot with a hard axehandle to the back of Staks!!! What's he…OHHHH MY!!!!!!!!!! Demolition Bomb through the table on Staks!!!!!!!!!! Staks has been busted in half by Big Foot! Back in the ring, Rage is trying to drive that hand blade right into the throat of KV!!!
DD: Fight it, Scarlet! Fight it!!!
VJ: OH! KV with a thumb to the eyes of Rage!!!!!! Big Foot is up on the ring apron…OH!!!!!! Scarlet with an elbow to the side of the head sends Big Foot flying into the steel barricade!!!! KV charges in…OOOOOOOOHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
DD: NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
VJ: I can't believe he just did that!!!!! Rage just stabbed Scarlet KV with that hand blade!!!!!!!
DD: he has got to be disqu…nah, f*ck that! Send that ruthless bastard to jail!!!!!!! Give him the chair!!!!!
VJ: He just stabbed KV right in the arm…Rage catches him with a boot to the stomach…POWERBOMB--NO!!!!! OH!!!!!! Scarlet KV managed to drive his weight down onto the head of Rage and Rage hit hard off the canvas…KV falls back onto Rage…1…2…3!!!!!!!!
Ding Ding Ding!!!!!!
Announcer: Here is your winner…and NEW NFWA TV Champion…RAGE!!!!!!!
DD: WHAT????! What the f*ck is that???!
VJ: I don't understand this ruling at all!!!!! Referee Al Gore is saying that Scarlet KV's shoulders were down…
DD: So were Rage's!!!!!!! What the hell is this???!
VJ: KV is bleeding from the arm…Rage is trying to get back to his feet and the ref just handed him the Title Belt! He's the new NFWA TV Champion!!!!!
DD: Not so fast!!! Here comes the Prez!!!!!!
VJ: Rage is raising the TV Belt into the air…Firestorm just snatched the belt away from him!!! What the hell...he just handed the belt back to KV!!!!!!
DD: What is the meaning of this???!
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen…your winner, and still NFWA TV Champion…Scarlet KV!!!!
DD: HAHAHA!!!!!! That was great!!!!!! Who's the champ???!
VJ: Al Gore is arguing with Firestorm…uh oh!!!!
DD: You did it now, Gore!!!
VJ: Firestorm just grabbed Gore by the throat…WHOA!!!!! He lifts him high into the air for a choke…OH!!! Rage just nailed Firestorm with the bell!!!!!!!!
DD: What the hell is wrong with that idiot???!!!
VJ: Firestorm just got hammered…KV tries to hit Rage with the belt but misses…TOTAL ANNIHILATION!!!!!!!!!! SCARLET KV IS OUT!!!!!!! RAGE HAS THE TV TITLE BELT AND AL GORE RAISES HIS ARM AS THE VICTOR!!!!! RAGE IS THE NEW TV CHAMPION!!!!!!
DD: That's no fair!!!!! How is Al Whore gonna come out here and overrule the Prez???!
VJ: Well Rage is leaving with the belt…Gore is saying he's the champ and frankly I don't know what the hell is going on! Who is the TV Champion???
(Camera cuts backstage where a black limo pulls up. The door opens and Shawn Michaels steps out. He walks up to a security guard)
SG: Hello…
HBK: Where is he???!
SG: Where is who?
HBK: Where's Sniper???! I know he's here!!!!! Tell me now! Where the hell is that son of a bitch???!
SG: Sniper hasn't arrived yet, sir.
HBK: No…you think I'm playing around! I know he's here! If he touches 1 hair on my wife's head…AAAHHHHH!!!!!
VJ: OH!!!!!!! HBK just hit Sweet Chin Music on that Security Guard!!!!!!!!!
DD: is he crazy????!!!
VJ: Sniper has driven Shawn Michaels to the breaking point!
(Camera cuts to Prez Firestorm's office. He's on the phone talking to someone)
Prez: So you're gonna be here tonight??? Great!!!!! That's per…(spots the camera) HEY!!! Get outta here! Get!!!!!!!
(Camera cuts out to ringside)
Hell in a Cell: Glacier Vs Rick Bruiser
(A Huge pyro explosion goes off in the rafters and "Party Up" by DMX plays over the PA system as the Cell lowers down to the ring. When it lands, the music stops as "You Could Be Mine" by GNR starts up over the PA system. The lights go out, blue and white lights begin to flash over the arena and snow falls from the rafters as Glacier steps through the curtains and the crowd boos. He walks down to the Cell, climbs into the ring, gets down on his 1 knee and raises his arms into the air as blue and white pyro explodes from the ringposts. The lights come back on, the music dies down and "X" by Xzibit blasts over the PA. Rick Bruiser steps through the curtains, walks down the aisle and heads to the cell. When he gets to ringside, he opens the cage door, runs into the ring and goes right after Glacier)
Ding Ding Ding!!!
VJ: Well here we go!!! Insane is still out here "scouting"…
DD: What are you trying to say?
Insane: Yeah! I already told you that I'm just out here to enjoy the show. You never know when I might be fighting 1 of these guys.
VJ: Yeah, right. Well anyway, Bruiser is getting the upper hand in this one! He backs Glacier into the buckle and now he's burying the boots to the midsection!!! Bruiser is all over Glacier! He wants to avenge his loss to Glacier a few weeks back in the worst way! Irish whip by Bruiser sends Glacier crashing into the buckle…Bruiser catches him and…look at the strength!!
DD: Come on, Glacier!!
VJ: Glacier is almost 300 lbs. and Bruiser has him up for a Gorilla Press Slam…and he drops him hard to the canvas!!!!!!! Bruiser with the cover…1…2…kickout!
Insane: I've gotta hand it to Bruiser. He's a big guy and a great athlete…but I think that Glacier will take this one in the end.
VJ: What are you trying to say?
Insane: That Bruiser won't win this match!
DD: Don't worry about Johnson, Insane. He doesn't speak English.
Insane: Oh. Ok.
VJ: (Sighs) Bruiser just slid out to the floor and he's looking under the ring for something…he's got…
DD: STEEEEEEEL!!!!!!
Insane: Uh…you ok?
VJ: No. Bruiser is entering the ring with a steel chair…he's coming up behind the fallen Glacier and he swats him down with a chairshot to the back!!! Another one! Glacier is in some trouble at the hands of the Enforcer of Too Xtreme! Bruiser is standing over Glacier…he just pointed at you, Insane!
Insane: Didn't his mother tell him it's not polite to point?
VJ: He's waiting for Glacier to get back to his feet…WHAT THE HELL???! 1…2…3!!!!!!!!
Ding Ding Ding!!!!
Announcer: Here is your winner: Glacier!!!!!!
Insane: Uhh…why did he do that?!
VJ: It looked like Bruiser had this match won!!!!! What the…
DD: Looked like it?! He just threw the damn match!!!!!!!
VJ: Bruiser just laid down for Glacier!!! The Cell is going back up to the rafters…Bruiser is calling for the mic! I'm anxious to here this!!!!!!!
Bruiser: Yeah…is this what you people in the office wanted?! Is this what you want Firestorm…nah, none of that bullshit! Is this what Panther wants?! You want Rick Bruiser to come out here and job week after week?! Well that's cool! You got your way! I don't gotta deal with this shit anymore! You don't want me around…well then FUCK YOU!!!!! (Crowd boos in the background) SHUT THE FUCK UP! As a matter of fact, FUCK PANTHER, FUCK YOU PIECES OF SHIT IN THE CROWD, and most of all FUCK THE NFWA!!!! I'm out!
(Bruiser tosses down the mic and starts to leave. He's stops as Too Xtreme runs down to the ring)
DD: I don't understand this at all! What the hell is going on?!
VJ: Too Xtreme is trying to talk some sense into Bruiser…he's got the mic again!
Bruiser: Oh what do you want?! You want me to stay here?! You wanna stay here?! You wanna keep on being held back by Panther, Firestorm and Sniper well that's fine! Fuck you too!
VJ: OH!!!!! Lance Storm with a superkick to the back of the head of Bruiser!!!!!! Bruiser is being assaulted…Too Xtreme is attacking Rick Bruiser…what the hell is this crap???!
DD: I don't know Vince!!!!
Insane: I don't know what to say!!!
VJ: Justin Credible picks Bruiser up…THAT'S INCREDIBLE!!!! Bruiser has just been put down by That's Incredible…Kaos just locked on the Sharpshooter!!!!! Bruiser has just been put in the Sharpshooter by Kaos!!! Here comes security out here to try to get them the hell off of Rick!!! I can't believe this…Dave???!
DD: I'm lost.
VJ: (Slaps Dave) What the f*ck is wrong with you?! Kaos finally breaks the hold…they're leaving Bruiser lying unconscious in the ring. Can somebody please…just cut to the next segment!
(Cameras cut backstage where a white stretch Hummer and a long black limo is pulling in. The back door to the Hummer opens and smoke billows out of the doorway. Commish Sniper gets out, followed by Maria and the 9th Street Posse.)
Jason: DAMN!!! It’s madd smoky in there!!!
Angel: Yo man, what the hell did that limo follow us here for?
Jamal: I know, that thing followed us from the hotel!
Jovan: Damn, what are yall…paranoid??? Calm down!!!
Maria: Yeah, me and Snip told you we have something planed for tonight, and we do! We’re gonna make sure Shawn Michaels never forgets the Posse or New Orleans!!! That bitch has gave me Sweet Chin Music for the last time!
Sniper: Look guys, let’s just say that might be a little surprise that I picked up on a street corner in San Antonio last night! C’mon, let’s go inside!!!
(The Posse enter the building, and the camera cuts back to the GX locker room where we see GX sitting around watching the show. There's a knock at the door, Blade gets up to answer the door and Rosie Sanchez walks in)
RS: Hi guys…can I have a word with you?
Lightning: Make it quick!
RS: Ok. Tonight is a big night for GX! Of course, Lightning has that big Scaffold Match against Squirrel for the World Title and of course that Kamikaze match against the LoD where now we've been told that Panther has been asked not to compete in this match by doctors. I'm gonna ask the same thing I asked last night, do you have a replacement lined up?
Lightning: Well…tonight I've got that match with Squirrel and tonight Squirrel is gonna Feel The Bolt…but I really don't know what to say about Panther. We don't have a replacement for him yet…if we find somebody we'll let you know. But as for you, Firestorm, I must've said it 1000 times, GX is a family, so when you f*ck with 1 of us you're f*cking with the whole group! You wanna take out Panther, well you had damn sure better be ready for a GX style ass whooping in that Kamikaze match cuz I promise that we're gonna wipe you and your LoD off the face of the Earth!
KT: Thank you Lightning. Vince, back to you!
(Camera cuts outside of the GX locker room where we see the Bronx Bad Boys in a huddle. They open the door, Anarchy throws something into the room and we hear a loud bang)
DD: What the hell??!
VJ: Anarchy just threw something into the GX locker room and we've got smoke or something…is that gas???!
DD: This is great!!!
VJ: The Bronx Bad Boys just ran into that room…they're wearing gas masks! This was a damn setup!!!! Anarchy just cracked Lightning in the head with that bat…Hogan is all over Rage…ZT and Asphyx are hammering away on Blade, Big Foot and Diamond! This is disgusting!!! Get security back there!
DD: Panther may not be alone in the hospital tonight!
VJ: Look at those damn bastards! They're running out of the room like thieves in the night! We need some help for GX!
DD: Wait a minute! What the hell is going on out here?!
Contract Signing
(Fire engulfs the stage as "Rollin" (Urban Assult Veichle) starts up on the PA System. Firestorm walks out, pushing Jim Cornette in a wheel chair. Jim Cornette and Firestorm are followed by to police officers and two lawyers. The walk down to the ring, and Firestorm lifts the wheel chair up and over the top rope, setting Jim Cornette in the ring. There is a wooden table set up, with five leather chairs seated around it. Firestorm and the two lawyers sit in the chairs, and Jim Cornette in between them i nhis wheel chair. Jim Cornette holds a mic in his hand, that he picked up from the table.)
Jim Cornette: Now Blade, I don't want any harm before you sign this contract. I just want to be safe, without you attacking me. I have hired ...
("Last Resort" blasts over the system as the crowd begins to stand. Pyro's shoot off in the ring, and there is an explosion. The men in the ring jump up, except for Jim Cornette, who just shakes. Blade steps out from the back, and his lawyer follows. The crowd is going crazy, and starts to chant "Cornette Sucks!" Blade runs down to the ring, and slides in. He poses for a few minutes, and then the music dies down. He and his lawyer sit in the two chairs that are left.)
Blade: You wanna go and sign your gay little contract, you go right ahead! I am not lifting a finger to even try to write with your damn pen! I won't sign anything!
Blade's Lawyer (Mr. Donovan): Blade, you have to sign the contract, or else you will be fined and sent to jail. You must sign it, or you will have to face major consequences.
Blade: Fine, let's get this damn thing over with!
(Blade motions to the Ring Announcer, who throws him three beers. He opens them, and throws one at Cornette, and chugs the other two. He calls for a few more. He sets them on the table.)
Jim Cornette: Hey! This is a Contract Signing, not a bar! Have some respect for your higher authority!
Blade: You ain't shit! I can kick your ass right now, and Firestorm, whoever said we have to wait until the Kamikazi Match!
(Blade flips him off)
Jim Cornette: OK, where's the contract, let's do this already.
(Jim's lawyer hands him a packet of paper with about 10 sheets.)
Jim Cornette: (Reading the paper aloud) This contract states: Blade cannot touch Jim Cornette until March 31, 2001, on the NFWA's next PPV, Slamfest. If Blade touches Jim Cornette he will be fined, and put in jail immediately for six months. In the event tha ...
Blade: Screw you, you stupid son of a bitch! Gimme the contract, so I can sign it and get out of this place!
(Jim Cornette signs the contract, and hands it to Blade. Blade looks down at it, and smiles. He signs it, adn throws it back in Cornette's face.)
Blade: Jimmy, you just put yourself into a helluva lota trouble, son! This week on FNS you will have a bit of a surprise for yourself. Now, this contract states that I can't touch you, no one ever said anything about that bastard sitting next to you!
(Blade dives over the table and tackles Firestorm. He gives him left and rights on the mat. He hops out of the ring and gets a steel chair. He slides in, and hit Firestorm on the head. He staggers a bit. He hits him on the knees, and he falls. Blade goes behind him, and nails him in the back of the head. Firestorm is busted open! Blade carries him up to the top rope. Sawblade off the top rope through the table! Blade taunts him, and flips him off. "Last Resort" blasts over the PA System, and Blade and his lawyer walk to the back, so Blade can get ready for his match.)
DD: What the hell was that for???!
VJ: Blade has just done a number on Firestorm!!!! The Prez has been busted open!!!!
DD: This Blade is TOTALLY out of control! GX is totally out of control! The whole damn system…
VJ: Will you shut up?
(Cameras cut back to the Posse’s office where the group is sitting watching the show. Sniper is in warm-ups putting on elbow pads.)
Sniper: I can’t wait man!! Michaels is goin’ down!!!
Jovan: (toking a blunt) You can say that again! That pussy tried to cut Maria’s head off last night!!! He don’t know he f*ckin’ wit the wrong crew!!!
Maria: Not to mention how many times he kicked me in the face…
Angel: (grabing the L) Or threw beer cans at us in a match! Tonight, we’re gonna show him why we did what we did in Syracuse! It was for his own good, and now he wants to make a come back? I don’t think so!
Sniper: Don’t worry Posse…first I’m gonna punish his ass for coming to the NFWA…OUR turf, and trying to f*ck with us!!! Then I’m gonna make him bleed just because it’ll make me laugh! And after I’m threw toying with him, you guys will have your fun with him. Then we’ll drop another bomb on him as it pertains to that slut-wife of his, Rebecca!!!
Jamal: Wasn’t she a Nitro girl?
Sniper: (everybody looking at Jamal funny) It’s a shame you watched that CRAP!!!!!!!! Now I see why you’re so f*cked up!!! Anyway, tonight…we finish this game…we finish Michaels…and we destroy the HBK legacy FOR GOOD!!!!
Angel: Yo, but what about Panther? You know him and Michaels are boys! And when you get up on the scaffold, I got a feeling he’s gonna try yo inter…
Sniper: Don’t worry about the little pussy-cat tonight, Ange!!! That quadruple chairshot he took last night will have cows circling his head for weeks to come! If he even THINKS about getting’ froggy here tonight, we’ll put his ass out for good too! NO QUESTIONS ASKED…and TAKE NO PRISONERS Posse!!! It’s GAME TIME…HOLLA BACK!!!!
VJ: Up next, it's Killa going 1 on 1 with Anarchy! Let's show you what's lead up to this huge match!
(Highlight video plays showing the Stairway to Hell match when Anarchy helps Killa beat Squirrel, followed by the Hell in the Cell match where Anarchy helps Killa beat Squirrel. The camera cuts back to the interview area where Kevin Taylor is standing with Anarchy and the Bronx Bad Boys)
KT: Anarchy, last night you came to the ring during the Hell in a Cell match and caused Killa to lose his spot in the main event against Anarchy. Now the whole world wants to know why. Why did you…
ANARCHY: WHY DID I ATTACK KILLA LAST NIGHT? BECAUSE…I CAN!!! LAST NIGHT I GOT SCREWED…AGAIN! I HAD LIGHTNING BEAT…I HAD THE WORLD TITLE AND THE NFWA STAFF WANTS TO CALL IT…A DOUBLE DQ? WELL I GET SCEWED, WELL SO DOES THE REST OF THE NFWA…STARTING WITH KILLA TONIGHT! AND AS FOR SQUIRREL…AND LIGHTNING…WHOEVER IS THE WORLD CHAMP AFTER TONIGHT…YOU WILL HAVE TO DEAL WITH ANARCHY!!!!! (Turns to walk out to the ring)
KT: Wait! Anarchy, another thing that we would like to know is what did you and the Bronx Bad Boys do with Chyna last night? Where is she???
ANARCHY: BOOKING COMMITTE...YOU GET CHYNA BACK...WHEN I GET A TITLE MATCH...NO INTERFERANCE...NO OUT SIDE HELP...BUT WITH SPECIAL STIPULATIONS THAT I WILL ANNOUNCE AFTER MY MATCH IS GARUNTEED..YOU GET HER BACK AFTER THE MATCH...NOT BEFORE... I AWAIT YOUR RESPONSE!!!'
Killa Vs Anarchy
(The lights begin to flicker blue as "Break Stuff" blasts over the PA system. When the lights come back on, Killa and Brian Demp are standing in the ring. Demp climbs to the floor and the music dies down. The lights go out and a bright, red light shines over the PA system. "Anarchy" by Busta Rhymes starts up over the PA system as Anarchy and the Bronx Bad Boys appear in the aisle and head down to the ring)
VJ: This match was signed as a result of what happened last night and…wait a minute! What are they doing out here???!
DD: Last night I told your dumb ass this is a free country!
VJ: This is supposed to be a 1 on 1 match but those bastards in the Bronx Bad Boys are coming out here! Last night they attacked Panther, kidnapped Chyna, we still have no clue what they've done with her but they're holding her hostage for a World Title match…
DD: Yeah, but you know the funny part about that is Panther doesn't have the power to book matches anymore! Do you really think that Firestorm or Sniper would give him a match if it meant that Panther was gonna suffer? Anarchy's a genius!
VJ: Well speaking of Firestorm, the BBB attacked him last night for no apparent reason, then earlier tonight they attacked G…it's the LoD!!!!!!!
DD: WHOA!!!
VJ: It's Angle, Scarlet KV, Glacier, Ice and Chris Jericho! They've just assaulted Anarchy and the Bronx Bad Boys in the aisle!!!
DD: It's all breaking loose now, Vince!!!
VJ: It's total chaos!!!! We've got officials coming out from the locker room trying to break this brawl up…Anarchy has Jericho by the hair and he's hammering him with vicious right hands!!!!!
DD: Watch Killa, Vince!!!!
VJ: Killa is running up the aisle…BOOM!!!!!! He literally took Anarchy's head off with that shot!
DD: He did not!!!! I told ya you don't not talk good English!
VJ: Huh? Killa picks up Anarchy by the hair…hard right sends him flying into the guardrail…Killa is firing off with punches right to the face…HOGAN GOES DOWN!!!!!!!!!
DD: YES!!!!!!!!!
VJ: Killa just nailed Hogan with a right…ZT, Asphyx and Ahmen Rah grab Killa and toss him back into the guardrail…Anarchy charges in an clotheslines Killa into the crowd!!!!!! Killa is in the front row and Anarchy is out there after him!!!!! Demp is out here with a Singapore Cane and he just cracked Asphyx right in the brain!!!! ZT just caught Demp with a kick to the face…Angle nails ZT…we've got just about every official this side of the Mississippi trying to break this brawl up!!!!! Meanwhile Anarchy and Killa are still going at it in the crowd!!
DD: Has this one even started yet?!
VJ: I don't think it has!!!! Anarchy has Killa by the hair…he slams him headfirst into the guardrail!!!!! Anarchy…he's having a few words with a fan…damn it!!!!!! He did it again! He just tossed 1 of those fans out of his seat!!! He's gonna get us sued 1 of these days!
DD: The way the company has been screwing him lately he should have a lawsuit against the NFWA!
VJ: He took that fans chair and now he's running at Killa with it…Killa got the boot up and knocks the chair right back into the face of Anarchy!!! Anarchy is hurt…Killa with a clothesline and knocks him right back over the guardrail and to ringside! Killa hops over the guardrail and he's standing over the fallen Anarchy. He's laughing at him!
DD: Anarchy ain't no joke, Killa! You need to watch yourself!
VJ: Killa picks up Anarchy by the ha…low blow! Killa is reeling and now Anarchy has a smile on his face. He's getting back to his feet…OH!!!!!!! Oh my God!!!!! He just ran at Killa, grabbed him by the hair and slammed him headfirst into the ringpost!!!!
DD: Did you hear Killa's head bounce off of that post?
VJ: He may have knocked his brains out! Anarchy picks him up…he tosses him into the ring!
Ding Ding Ding!
VJ: This match has finally started! Killa is in the ring…but Anarchy isn't. He just went underneath the ring and pulled out a steel chair!
DD: We're about to have some more STEEL action, Vince!!
VJ: Anarchy…this isn't a No DQ match! Anarchy just climbed into the ring with that chair and he's trying to get to Killa…no! Stephanie Jenkins is in his face! She's trying to get Anarchy to get rid of that chair…OH!!!!!!! Anarchy just hit Stephanie!!!!!
DD: Bitch got what she deserved!
VJ: That's a woman, damn it!!! Anarchy just KO'd Jenkins…leave her alone! Anarchy picks up referee Jenkins…PILEDRIVER ON THE CHAIR!!!!!!!! Why did he do that??? Killa with a spear on Anarchy!!!!!!! Killa is all over Anarchy!!!!
DD: This is a helluva fight, Vince!
VJ: Killa picks up Anarchy by the hair and tosses him back to the buckle…Anarchy nails him with another low blow and Killa goes down like the Titanic!
DD: HAHA! That might be Anarchy's new favorite move. Uh oh, look at this!
VJ: Anarchy is climbing to the top rope!
DD: He's taking a little long, isn't he?
VJ: Anarchy is headed to the top…Killa is already back to his--OH!!!!!!!!! Killa just picked up that chair and he just destroyed Anarchy with that shot! Anarchy is out!!!
DD: He's still on the top rope, Vince!
VJ: I don't think he even knows where he is…Killa sets the chair down and now he's climbing up there with Anarchy…he's going for a superplex…
DD: I don't like this, Vince!
VJ: Killa…he just hooked Anarchy's leg…oh my…OH MY!!!!!!!! Super Fisherman's Buster from the Top down onto that steel chair!
DD: He broke Anarchy's neck!
VJ: Anarchy is out! Killa with the cover but the ref is down!
DD: Anarchy may have killed her with that piledriver, but after that move by Killa he may be dead.
VJ: Killa is trying to wake Stephanie…Hogan is in the ring!
DD: DAMN HIS FOUL SOUL!!!!!!!
VJ: Hogan has brass knuckles…he just hit Killa right in the back of the brain!!! Killa is down…Hogan hits off the ropes…there's the Big Leg Drop on Killa!!!!! Hogan slides out of the ring…I can't believe he just did that! Both Killa and Anarchy are down…we've got another referee out here. He's counting both men down…1…2…3…4…5…6…7…8…Anarchy is back up! Anarchy is back to his feet…how he is I'll never know! He has Killa by the hair…there's the Doomsday Drop on Killa! The count…1…2…Brian Demp just pulled the referee to the floor!
DD: What???!
VJ: Anarchy may have had this match won if not for Brian Demp! Wait a minute!!! ZT and Asphyx have Brian Demp on the floor…what are they about to do???!
DD: Here's Rodney!!!!!
VJ: Rodney Demp…OH!!!!!! Singapore Cane shot right to the head of Asphyx!!!!!! ZT tries for a right hand…he catches a cane shot to the head! Anarchy is trying to get at Demp on the floor…OH!!!!!! Cane shot right to the head of Anarchy…he staggers back into Killa and gets drilled with a powerslam!!!!!!! Killa pops back to his feet…I think he's signaling for the Takeover!!!
DD: It's about to be over for Anarchy I think!
VJ: Killa picks Anarchy back up…here it comes…THERE'S THE TAKEOVER!!!!!!!!! Cover…1…2…3!!!!!!
Ding Ding Ding
Announcer: Here is your winner: Killa!!!!!!!!
VJ: Killa has just picked up a big win over Anarchy!!!!
DD: Watch Ahmen Rah!
VJ: Rah is up on the ring apron…Killa with a big boot caught him right in the eye!!! Anarchy has that chair again…he's coming up behind Killa…Demp is in the ring and he nails Anarchy with the Flowing DDT!!!!!! Demp is putting the boots to Anarchy now…Killa walks back over now and he's getting him some more of Anarchy!!! The Elites are doing a number on Anarchy in the ring and now here come the Bad Boys!!!!
DD: It's breaking loose again!
VJ: The Bronx Bad Boys have the Elites outnumbered in the ring…we've got another assault on our hands…THE LOD IS BACK!!!!
DD: Hit the deck!
VJ: The LoD hits the ring and we've got another war on our hands!!!!!! LoD and the BBB are tearing into each other…
DD: Oh no! It's Al Whore again!
VJ: Referee Al Gore just came out to ringside…
DD: That walking Ass Lick!
VJ: Al Gore is in the ring trying to stop the insanity…WHOA!!!!!! He just slapped Killa…and now he slapped Anarchy!!!! What the hell is he thinking???!
DD: Al…you ran for Prez last year, well you had better get ready to run again!
VJ: Al is trying to do some fast talking…Brian Demp grabs him by the hair and tosses him into the ring…Killa caught him with a kick to the ribs…Angle with a right hand…Anarchy with the Doomsday Drop on Gore…AL GORE IS BEING ASSAULTED BY THE BBB AND THE LOD!!!!!!!!!
DD: HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!! This is great! Hold my stash, Vince! (Throws down his headset)
VJ: Where are you going?! Referee Al Gore is getting a Presidential Ass kicking in the ring and…Dave is in there!!!! Dave is stomping Gore!!!!!! Jericho is out here now…Insane is back out here…this ring is filling up with people from both groups who are itching to get a piece of…
(HUGE pyro explosion on the stage as red "X's" shoot up on the stage. "Generation X-Treme" plays over the PA system)
VJ: It's GX!!!!!!!! This is really getting out of control now!!!!! GX hits the ring and they're tearing into both groups!!!!!!
DD: (Gets tossed over the top rope by Rage)
VJ: Man! We've got more officials out here…we've got police out here to try and break this up!!!! This is insanity out here!!!!!
DD: (Back on headset) Can you believe those idiots, GX???! Look in the aisle!!!!!
VJ: What?! Firestorm is in the aisle! He's headed down to ringside…what's he up to?
DD: He's gonna try to break this crap up! It looks like a war zone out here!
VJ: Prez Firestorm is on his way down to the ring…Big Foot just spotted him and he's calling Firestorm to the ring!!!!! Big Foot is calling Firestorm out!
DD: He don't want him to do that! You saw what happened to Panther last night.
VJ: Well why is Firestorm backing down?! Big Foot is calling him..DAMN!!!! Jericho just molly whopped Big Foot with a huge chairshot! And look at Firestorm laughing! He's…
DD: It's Tina!!!!!
VJ: What?! Tina is coming up behind Prez Firestorm…OH!!!!!!!!!! She just shattered that mirror over the head of Firestorm!!!!!!!!!
DD: What the hell is her problem!!!!
VJ: Tina has Firestorm…DDTINA!!!!!!! DDTINA ON THE PREZ!!!!!!!!! Tina is trying to kill him on the floor!!!!
DD: Somebody do something about this!!!!! Arrest her ass!!!!!!!
VJ: Tina just assaulted the Prez…
DD: From behind!!!
VJ: The LoD is headed out to the floor to get Tina off of Firestorm!!!! We've got security dragging Tina back to the locker room…the Prez has been busted wide open!!!! This has to be the wildest thing I've ever seen!
***Promo for the next PPV, Slam Fest, March 31, 2001 from Washington, DC in the MCI Center***
(Cameras cut to the parking lot where we see the limo that pulled in with the Posse sitting. No one has gone in or come out. Cameras zoom out to the street where a red sports car is speeding into the lot. When it stops, Shawn Michaels jumps out wearing street clothes, and grabs a rifle out of the trunk. Kevin Taylor approaches Michaels.)
KT: HBK, the Posse is here tonight, and they are promising a BIG surprise for you here….
HBK: SHUT THE F*CK UP!!!!!!!!!!!!! That bastard Sniper stole my wife last night, and I’m gonna kill his ass, right here tonight! WHERE IS HE?!!!
KT: Uhh..oh…ehh…in his…
HBK: DIDN"T I TELL YOU TO SHUT THE F*CK UP??!!!!! HUH?! Well SHUT—THE F*CK—UP!!!! You don’t f*ck with a man’s family. I had my son at "FNS" last night, and that stupid son of a bitch thinks his has balls big enough where he can go to my home in Texas and kidnap MY WIFE??!!!! Who the hell does he think he is?!!! Listen to me carefully! Cuz I’m only gonna say this one time…and then I’m goin’ on a HUNT TO KILL!!! The Heartbreak Kid lays down for absolutely NOOOOOO-BOODDDYYYYY!!!!!! I did it once, I will not do IT again!!! You want to play THE GAME with me, Snip…well that’s fine! This pay-per-view is called "GAME Time" isn’t it?! Well let’s play, boy! Just don’t forget where we’ve been in the past, and just what I’ve done in this business! And tonight, you are gonna be the one taking the big plunge off of the scaffold, and down thru a ring filled with tables!!! Yeah, I know ALL ABOUT "SNIPER_175", but tonight you’re getting a taste of your own medicine, and I’m taking my wife back to Texas, WITH ME!!! Now get the hell of my way, ya pile of sh*t!!!
(Michaels pushes Taylor down and enters the building. Cameras cut to the Posse’s office where Sniper is giving them instructions.)
Sniper: HA! I’m glad that piece of shit wants to play the GAME with me tonight…cuz that exactly what we’re going to do! Only in more ways than he can imagine!
Maria: What the hell are you talking about???!!!! That bitch tried to make Chop Suey out of me last night with a axe, and now he’s coming in here with a sawed-off shotgun!!! Do something about that!!! You’re the Commish, right?!
Sniper: Don’t push my buttons at a time like this, please! I know Michaels better than anyone here! He’s not fooling anyone! He doesn’t have the balls to pull the trigger on that gun!
(Cameras cut to a hallway in the backstage area where HBK is walking with the gun.)
HBK: WHERE THE HELL IS SNIPER??!!!! Come on out you little bastard!!! You kidnap a man’s wife, then don’t the balls to show your face!! (kicking in a door) COME ON OUT, YOU SCARED SON OF A BITCH!!!! (cocks the gun)
VJ: Dave, this is getting out of control!!!
DD: PANTHER!!! GET OFF YOUR FAT, LAZY ASS, AND DO SOMETHING ABOUT THAT SH*T BACK THERE!!!
VJ: Back where?
DD: (sucker puches Vince) HA! Serves you right! This is a time for seriousness! Our Commish’s life is at stake!!
VJ: Asshole!!!
HBK: I’m gonna find you Sniper! You can’t hide all night! And if you make me wait til match time, I’M GONNA MAKE YOU DIE SLOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Michaels pulls some of his hair out) REBECCA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (fires the shotgun into the air…5 seconds later a security guard falls thru the ceiling holding his chest) SON OF A BITCH!!!!
VJ: Shawn Michaels done lost his damn mind!!!!
DD: DAMN----STUPID—MICHAELS!!!!!!!
(HBK comes up on the door marked "9th Street Posse" and tries to enter, but it’s locked. He blows the lock off and runs in. When he gets there, the Discipline Committee is sitting around eating donuts.)
HBK: You fat, ugly pigs!!! Where the hell is Sniper??!!!
DC #1: I don’t know what you’re talking about! You have…
(Another Committee member tackles HBK, and the others pile on and take the gun.)
DC #3: I don’t know what the hell you think you’re doin’, or what your heat is with Commissioner Sniper…but this ain’t the way to solve it!!!
HBK: Do you have a wife, Porky?!
DC #3: Uhh…no…no si…
HBK: (griping him up) EXACTLY!!!!!!!!!!!!! SO YOU WOULDN’T KNOW HOW IT FEELS WHEN SOME JACKASS LIKE SNIPER KIDNAPS HER FROM YOUR HOME WHILE YOU’RE THOUSANDS OF MILES AWAY…DEFENSELSS TO HELP HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
VJ: Well where the hell is Sniper?! He was in there a minute ago!
(Cameras cut to a luxury box at the top of the New Orleans Arena where the Posse is laughing.)
Sniper: (trying to stop laughing) Hey Shawn, we’re over here! Stop trying to malest our Discipline Committee…and pay attention to the monitor! Yoou said you wanted to play right? Well I’m playing with you!!! I am a master player of this game…and tonight, you meet your maker! See, you should know one of my favorite tricks in the GAME is the LIVE/MEMOREX conspiracy! Are my promos live or taped! In this case, we took care of our promos hours before this show even started!!!
Maria: Tell ‘em Snip! You shouldn’t have f*cked wit us Michaels!!!
Angel: Yo, let’s go f*ck him up NOW!!!
Sniper: Chill, bro! In due time! So we taped the interviews, and had a cracked production staff place them in the show sequence pertaining to when YOU were expected to show up…and it worked perfectly!!!
Jovan: See, Shawn…we’re up here in the Sky Box! And you to play wit gats, son?! Don’t get it f*cked up…the Poose knows how to play wit those toys more than anything!! Don’t forget our leader is Sniper…and he don’t got that name for nothin’! So you better watch your ass!!!
Sniper: That’s right!!! Cuz when you think you’re coming for us…the reality of it will be that we are right behind you…waiting to attack at the right moment! Face the facts Shawn…there’s NO WAY OUT of New Orleans for you…on your own power! A lot of people have downplayed the Posse in the past! KV, Y2J. Firestorm…and even the "Disguised Figurehead" of the NFWA, whose name escapes me now!!! (oops, there’s a "SHOOT" for all of you) But tonight will be different! After Game Time, the chanes of ANYBODY disrespecting the Posse in the future…will be the same chances you have in the HIGH INCIDENT MATCH…NO CHANCE IN HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m gonna proove to the world that not only am I the greatness, and the TRUE Main Event…but when it comes to this game…I’m the Purest Player in it!!!
Angel: Aight, can we go kick his ass now?! I’m getting board!!!
Jovan: Damn Angel, why so evil man?! Let the man enjoy his last couple hours of health!!!
Maria: You want to do something Angel…go over to that closet door, and open it for me!!!
(Angel opens the door, and Michaels’ wife Rebecca falls to the floor, and she’s been hog-tied. Her lips are taped and she appears to have bruises all over her body.)
HBK: REBECCA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH HER??!!!!!! You better not hark another hair on her head, or Sniper I promise you…
Sniper: PROMISE ME WHAT???!!!!! What the f*ck are you gonna do? You can’t do sh*t to me, dawg!!!!!! You say you know me…well then you know me and Panther used to get our kicks out of throwing people out of balconys, and off of buildings…sh*t like that!!! If you even make one attempt at coming towards out Sky Box here, or my office down there…I’ll toss this $2 ho out of the Box, all the way down into the crowd to her death! DON’T FORGET WHERE YOU ARE SHAWN! My name is NOT Vince McMahon, and this ain’t the WWF!!! You’re in the NFWA, where senseless acts of violence…such as throwing poor Mrs. Hickenbottom (oh damn! There’s another "SHOOT"! Hot damn!) out of a Sky Box, some 80 ft. to her messy death!! So don’t think about playing HERO tonight, cuz it ain’t happenin’!
Maria: Oh, an just to throw a little fuel on the fire, I’m issuing a 0 Tolerance rule on you Michaels until match time! Now you don’t work here…so your punishment for touching Sniper or any of us before the match starts…will result in you never seeing this slut ever again…and us allowing Angel to give her a slow, painful, agonizing death!!!!
Angel: (toking a blunt) F*ck dat!!! I’ma rape dat bitch a couple times first!!
Sniper: Aight, there you have it! 0 Tolerance for YOU ONLY til match time! If you come near my office or Box, this bitch dies!!! And later, you take a ride like never before. SNIPER_175 says your ass is going thru tables…LOTS OF THEM!!!!!!!! Holla back…and don’t worry…Rebecca is safe, and in good hands!!!
(Cameras cut to ringside with Vince Johnson and Delaware Dave.)
VJ: Can you believe that SON OF A BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don’t thik I’ve ever seen anything like that in my entire life, ladies and gentlemen!!! Sniper kidnaped Shawn Michaels’ wife, Rebecca, last night in San Antonio…and now he’s unloading a barrage of mind games on HBK, and he may just snap before the scheduled time of their HIGH INCIDENT explosion here tonight!
DD: You ain’t kiddin’! There are tables everywhere out here! All around the ring, in the aisle, and by the set!!! And both these men have evil intensions for each other! But Sniper is smart…he’s a genius!!! He’s exactly what he said he is…a Master Player of the GAME and the Purest Player!!! Shawn Michaels doesn’t know what he’s walking into here…and the games the Posse are playing are ruthless. 0 Tolerance or they’re gonna rape and slowly kill his wife??!!!! GO GET ‘EM SNIPER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
VJ: SHUT UP, you’re pathetic!!! It’s the man’s family…and Michaels doesn’t deserve this!!! Well obviously not to neglect a very serious situatoin brewing here tonight at Game Time, but it’s time for our next match!!!
(Camera cuts to another room where we see Scott Steiner in the back getting ready for the big 6 Man Tag Match)
RS: Hey Scott you
Scott: Did I ask for a God Damn Interview. Did Big POPPA PUMP ASK FOR A GOD DAMN INTERVEIW. Do you know who I am?? I am the man with the biggest Arms in the world and you actually think that you can barge in here like your Me. So what you want "ROSIE" WHAT DO YOU WANT WITH BIG POPPA??
RS: UMM
SCOTT: OH SO YOU WANT BE ONE OF MY FREAKS. YOU DO KNOW THAT NO ONE IS FINER THEN BIG POPPA SCOTTY STEINER. WHY DONT YOU GO BACK THERE WITH ALL THE OTHER FREAKS AND YOU BETTER BE READY FOR THE BEST TIME IN YOUR LIFE BUT FIRST I GOT TO HANDLE SOME WRESTLING BUISNESS. JERHICO, I HEAR YOU GOT A WINNING STREAK GOING ON WELL I THINK I AM GOING TO START MY OWN WINNING STREAK. AND JERHICO I REALLY WANT YOU TO START OFF THE STREAK. JERHICO AT IHG OR FNS I WANT YOU 1 on 1 NO INTERFERENCES but THISWILL NOT BE ANY REGULAR MATCH NAH IT'S GOING TO BE A I QUIT MATCH AND TO BE MORE FARE FOR YOU, I LET YOU PICK THE SECOND STIPULATION. BUT JERHICO IT DOESNT MATTER WHAT YOU PICK CAUSE ONE WAY OR ANOTHER YOU ARE GOING TO FEEL THE STEINER RECLINER. NOW HOLLA IF YOU HEAR ME
(Hall and Nash walk into the room. They call Steiner over and they head out to ringside for the 6 man tag. The camera cuts back to another area of the locker room where we see the LoD and Trish checking on Firestorm)
Prez: (Holding an Ice pack on his head) That bitch! After that Kamikaze Match I'm gonna track her down and…
Trish: Just calm down! I'll handle Ms. Tina! Killa, Rodney, your match with Krazed is up next. You ready?
(Suddenly Anarchy and the Bronx Bad Boys walk into the room and try to get at the LoD but they're held back by official, security guards and police)
VJ: What is wrong with Anarchy and his gang?!
DD: They can't get enough of the LoD…here we go again!!!
VJ: The LoD is trying to get at the Bronx Bad Boys…the Elites are trying to get out to the ring…it's crazy back there!
The nWo Vs Krazed and the Elites
(Rodney picks up an empty beer bottle off of the ground and throws it at Anarchy, hitting him in the head and knocking him to the ground. "Break Stuff" starts up over the PA system as they walk over to the entrance and out into the arena. The lights flicker blue as they walk down the aisle. When they get to the ring, the music dies down as "I got that fire" starts over the PA system. Strangely, no one comes out. His music dies down)
VJ: That's strange.
DD: Aww! Did Krazed puss out on this match?!
VJ: Well the Elites said that they didn't want him as their partner…maybe he took their advice.
(The nWo theme starts up over the PA system and the crowd boos wildly. Flashing blue and red lights shine over the arena Scott Steiner and the Outsiders walk out to the ring. When they get to ringside, they pose for the crowd as we get a mixture of cheers and boos in the background. The music dies down as the ref calls for the bell)
Ding Ding Ding!!!
VJ: Well Here we go! Rodney is starting this one off since Killa appears to be affected by that last match. There's the lockup…Hall shoves Demp hard to the mat…he tossed a toothpick in his face!!!!!
DD: That bastard!
VJ: Ya know! Demp is back to his feet…I don't think he took too kindly to that! He and Razo…
DD: Excuse you!!!!!!
VJ: I said he and Hall lock up again…go behind into a waistlock by Ramon--I mean Hall! Rodney with a NICE reversal into a waistlock of his own…drop toe hold by Hall…whoa!!!!! Hall slapping Demp in the back of the head!
DD: HAHAHAHA! That was great! Do you see the look on Demp's face?!
VJ: Rodney Demp is getting back up and look at Hall taunting him. Scott Hall is a real piece of OH!!!!!!!! Demp just exploded on Hall!
DD: That might not have been a smart thing for Scotty to do!
VJ: Demp with right hands right…left hands…damn he's hitting him with everything but the kitchen sink…OH!!!!! Thumb to the eyes by Hall! Irish whip sends Demp to the ropes…he ducks the …FLOWING DDT!!!!!!!!!!!!! Cover…1…2…Nash breaks it up!!!!!! Killa into the ring and he blasts Nash with a hard right hand!!!!!!! Killa stomping hard to the midsection of Nash!!! Scott Steiner is on the top rope…Killa just caught him with a backhand and sends him flying into the guardrail!!!
DD: They may be in the LoD, but it seems like New Orleans is ELITE COUNTRY!
VJ: They're going crazy for Killa and Rodney! The Elites have Nash trapped in the corner and they're…
DD: CLUBBERIN!!!!!!
VJ: WHAT????!
DD: 4 fisteses on 1 guy! CLUBBERIN'!!!!!
VJ: Is that how they talk in Delaware?! Irish whip by Killa sends Nash hard into the buckle…Rodney charges in…OH! Nash caught him in the face with a big boot…he tosses Demp to the floor and walks right into a Killa Clothesline!!!!!! Cover by Killa...1...2...kickout!
DD: That's not even the legal man! Hall is legal!
VJ: Wait a minute!! Did you see that???! Scott Steiner just sprayed Demp in the face with spraypaint…he slams him hard into the steel stairs!
DD: He might have blinded Demp!!!
VJ: I don't like….
(Cameras cut backstage were we see someone put a lock on the LoD dressing room door)
DD: Wait a second!
VJ: Steiner slides into the ring and he blasts Killa with a Steinerline!!!!! He's putting the boots to Killa now…Demp is still down on the arena floor! Nash and Hall are now circling Killa…they're stomping away on him in the ring…Killa is being decimated! And somebody locked the LoD's dressing room!
DD: This smells like a setup!
VJ: Maybe the nWo has something to do with why Krazed isn't here! Nash Irish whips Killa hard into the buckle…he follows through with a clothesline!!!!!!!! Here comes Hall…OH!!!!!!!!!! And now Steiner catches him…T-BONE SUPLEX!!!!!!!!!! Killa is in trouble…BIG ELBOW DROP by Nash caught Killa right in the sternum!!
DD: HAHA! Droppin' BOWS on him!
VJ: You really like that song, don't you?
DD: Yes.
VJ: Staks will be proud. Hall drops an elbow right into the face of Killa…cover…1…2…kickout!!! Demp is trying to get back to his feet…Steiner catches him with a hard Steinerline that sends him hard to the mat!
DD: This ain't good. Maybe I need to get in there and be the Elites' partner.
VJ: Oh that would be good! Hall sets Killa up on the top rope…he follows him up now…BELLY TO BACK SUPERPLEX!!!!!!
DD: Where the hell is Krazed?? It's 5 minutes in the match and the Elites are getting tourchured with no help
VJ: Wait there's a limo pulling up to the arena
DD: Who's in it. That's Krazed
VJ: He's Running down to the ring here he comes
DD: Krazed is in the ring. Look he just passed all 3 nwo members he's picking up Killa
VJ: WHAT!! KRAZED JUST HIT THE SUPERNOVA ON KILLA
DD: LOOK AT NASH HE HAS JUST SHOOKE HANDS WITH KRAZED. HALL is going FOR THE PIN 1…2…3!!!
Ding Ding Ding!!!
Announcer: Here are your winners: The nWo!!!!
VJ: I can't believe this!!!!! Krazed is back and he has turned his back on his tag team partners, the Elites!!!!!
DD: And the NWO is in business!!!
VJ: Killa and Demp may just try to assassinate Krazed when they catch up with him!
DD: Maybe I'll do it for them…(pulls out a gun but Vince slaps it out of his hand)
(Camera cuts back to the GX locker room where we see the group getting ready to leave for the Kamikaze Match. Rosie Sanchez comes into the room)
RS: Well guys, it's almost time for the Kamikaze Match. Do you have a replacement for Panther?
Big Foot: Nope. And you know what, Rosie, we don't need one! If it's a handicap match so be it. All that matters is that Panther is looking on at home and he's gonna be happy when he sees what we do to Firestorm tonight!
Lightning: That's right, tonight, the Kamika…
(Tina suddenly walks into the room)
Tina: Wait a minute, you guys! Now what Firestorm did to Panther last night really pissed me off…and what Firestorm did to me a few weeks back pissed me off! And now I hear that GX is looking for a replacement in that Kamikaze match…well you just found 1! That's right…me!!!!!
DD and VJ: WHAT????!!!!!!!!
Tina: That's right, Firestorm, LoD, you're getting ready to find out why GX is the best damn stable in the biz, you're fixing to find out exactly why Tina is THE BADDEST CHICK this game has ever seen, and most of all, you're gonna know exactly why there's no right way, there's no wrong way, there's only the GX way, AND THERE CAN'T BE ANY OTHER WAY!!!!!!! (Grabs her bags and walks away)
Rage: Wait a minute…can she do what???!
Lightning, Blade and Big Foot: Tina, wait!!!! Tina!!!!!!
DD: IS SHE CRAZY???!
VJ: Well folks, the ring has been filled with tables, staked about 4 layers high.…
DD: Yeah, I understand Sniper ordered that scaffold to be raised, so they could put more tables in the ring!!! He’s trying to murder HBK here tonight!!!
VJ: That’s what I’m afraid of! And it’s pay-per-view so anything can happen!!! Folks, let’s take a up-close-and personal look at the storied past between Shawn Michaels and the Sniper!!!!
(A highlight package comes on. We hear dramatic music in the background as and we see a shot of the actual parking lot outside the Syracuse nightclub. Then we see jump cuts of the Oct. ’95 Raw matche; Michaels Vs Owen Hart…and him calapsing at the end of the match! We then see clips of Michaels’ recovery and road back to wrestling. Then we see Michaels and Panther fighting the Posse…the Posse attacking HBK in the parking lot…the Sniper Bomb on HBK at Total Annihilation©…Scarlet KV saving HBK in the lot…HBK kicking Maria and throwing beer cans at the Posse…and finally the Posse putting HBK thru a car windsheild on Slam!!!!! A split screen comes up of HBK laying face down on the car…and Sniper celebrating after his Inferno Match win @ DOA with Kurt Angle.)
High Incident Match: Sniper Vs Shawn Michaels
(Cameras cut to the arena where "Sexy Boy" begins to play on the PA, and the fans cheer loudly as they come to their feet. HBK stands at the set and does his signature pose as pyro shoots up behind him. He walks over to the scaffold and climbs it.)
(A HUGE explosion goes off by the set and "Tha Block is Hot" plays up. Commish Sniper walks out with Maria and Jovan laughing at HBK. Sniper has a mic.)
Sniper: Hey Shawn…I got something for you to look at while I’m kicking your ass tonight!!!! Being though you want her so bad… I’m gonna let her hang right next to us while we fight!!!
(Jovan pushes a button on his cell phone, and a black sheet falls off a cage hanging next to the scaffold…Rebecca is in the cage wearing shreaded clothes and crying.)
HBK: REBECCA!!!!!!!!!!!!! Let her down you son of a bitch! Better yet, come on up here so I can throw you thru these tables!!! Get your ass up here!!!!!
R: SHAWN!!!!!!!!!!!!! Help me!!! Help me!!!! You don’t have to do this!!! Just get me down…
VJ: Wait, here comes Sniper!!! Sniper os climbing the scaffold, and HBK is waiting for him! Michales wants to maim the Commissioner of this company…
DD: It’s gonna EXPLODE!!!!
VJ: Here we go…Michaels has Sniper by the shirt…and he is leveling Sniper with right hands! HBK has always known how to throw those fists! And we’ve talked about his championships, and other accolades he’s achieved…but that’s all set aside here! Michaels is out for his pride, dignity, and honor of his wife and family!!!
DD: Ohh, get off his nuts, Johnson!!! You make it sound soooooooooooo sweet! Michaels has no place in the NFWA! I’ve been saying that since he walked his hee-hawin’ ass in here…and now Sniper’s gonna put him out for good!!! Yeah, get him, Snip!!1 Beat his damn ass!!!!!!!!!
VJ: Michaels was here as an invited guest of Panther, he doesn’t deserve this kinda treatment from anybody…especially low-down dirty thugs like the Posse!!!!!!!
DD: You better hope I don’t go over to the set and tell Maria and Jovan what you’re saying about them!!! Call the match jackoff!!!
VJ: Sniper just caught HBK coming in with a flying clothesline…and now he’s stomping away at the head!!!
DD: It doesn’t matter, he never had any brains to begin with…from what I’ve been told!
VJ: Can’t you be nice for once in your miserable life?
DD: NO!
VJ: I knew it. Sniper picking up Michaels by the hair…and he just buried a few knees right to the gut…and there’s a DDT on the scaffold! Look out…Sniper with a full head of steam…rolling legdrop right to the face! (Rebecca screaming in the background) And you hear HBK’s wife…being forced to watch this!!!
Sniper: SHUT UP BITCH!!!!!!!!!
DD: Yeah! YEAH!!!!! YEAH, SHUT UP BITCH!!!!!!!
VJ: Sniper is absolutely disgusting…and Michaels has had enough!! HBK with a spear takedown…and he is trying to tear Sniper apart. He’s gotta steel chair now, and he swung it…OHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
DD: Kick ‘em!! Kick ‘em down ‘til he dies from it!!!!!!!!!
VJ: My God…HBK swung that chair…Sniper ducked…and HBK almost went flying off the scaffold down thru the tables. But somehow, he kicks Sniper back…Michaels skimming the cat back onto the scaffold…Sniper throws a punch…HBK counters with his age-old side suplex! Now a short dropkick send Sniper rolling across the bed of the steel structure, hanging above the ring – filled with tables!!!
DD: Come on, Snip!!! Do it for Lassie!!!
VJ: Lassie??? What have you been smoking? (Cameras cut to Jovan at the set, lighting a blunt)
DD: Nothing, yet! Hey Jovan, over here man!!!!!!!!!
VJ: Stop it!!!! HBK has climbed a pole on the scaffold, and that’s not a safe place to be! Michaels off the scaffold…huracanrana on Sniper!!!
DD: What the hell???
VJ: Shawn Michaels with an amazing move…and now he’s trying to roll Sniper off! HBK is trying to throw Sniper off the scaffold!! (Cameras cut to Jovan on his phone.) Hey, what the hell is he up to?
DD: NOTHING!!! Mind your own damn business!! Yo man, pass dat sh*t!!!
VJ: Is that all you’re worried about?!
DD: Basically, yes!!!!
VJ: (sighs) Wait a minute, what the hell is this? Angel just climbed up that scaffold so quick…it looked like he flew!!!
DD: Yeah, and he just gave Angel Dust to HBK!!! Don’t smoke it all in one place, crackhead!!!
VJ: That spinning DDT/suplex he calls "Angel Dust" just dimmed the lights of HBK! We have Angel and Sniper on the scaffold with Michaels at their mercy! He looks like he’s unconscious!!!
DD: GOOD! Then all will be right with the world when they throw his ass thru these tables!!! C’mon, throw him down here!!!
VJ: You’re sick! And now they’re picking him up…and they may be ready to toss him off…YES, that’s what they’re doing!!! They’re gonna throw HBK off the scaffold…what the hell???
DD: No, they’re not done with him, Vince! They we’re just playing with the minds of all these inbred hicks in the Arena, and that meddlesome shrew, Rebecca!!!!
VJ: HOW DO YOU SLEEP AT NIGHT???!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DD: Actually, quite easily!
VJ: Sarcastic bastard! Wait, there’s KV! Scarlet KV has come to the aid of HBk, and he’s taking it to Angel! Sniper charges in…spin buster on Sniper! Here comes Angel…Samoan drop for him!!!
DD: NOOOO!!! This ain’t right!!! Get that faggot off the scaffold!!! He’s ruining everything!!!
VJ: He’s doing the right thing! He can’t just stand by and watch a legend get the screws put to him worse than a White House intern!!!
DD: And you get on me for having no material! Geesh!!!
VJ: KV has his hand blade out, and he just sliced Sniper across the forehead!!! Sniper has been busted open at the hands of KV. HBK back up…Sweet Chin Music on Angel, and he’s out cold.
(Cameras cut inside the black limo that’s been out back all night. We hear a familiar voice in the darkness. The camera is "to" someone’s back talking on a cell phone.)
Voice #1: So everything’s in place? It’s all set, and ready to go?! Ok, we’re on our way in!
Voice #2: What did they say?
Voice #1: They said everything’s a Go! They said somebody’s out there now trying to f*ck it up, so we better go inside!
(Two people exit the limo and slam the door before the cameraman can get a good shot. We cut to Jovan closing his phone at the set, and Maria smiling.)
VJ: What the hell is going on? What the hell was that all about??!!
DD: (Pimp smacks Vince) That’s for smacking me earlier, Canadian! (smacks him the other way) And that’s for asking too many damn stupid questions! Worthless ass-bitch!!!
VJ: Thank you! Wait a minute…Jamal and Fredo are on the scaffold, and Fredo just cradle suplexed KV! That could’ve snapped his neck…and now Jamal with a huge powerbomb on KV!
DD: They better be careful, that scaffold could break!!!
VJ: Yes it could! It’s tittering back and forth…and Sniper just tattooed HBK with a steel chair!!
DD: HBK got STEEEEEELLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!
VJ: Indeed! Hold on a second…here comes Rage, Blade, and Diamond from GX!!!
DD: What are you 3 idiots doing?! This match doesn’t concern you!!!
VJ: HBK is cool with Panther, and being though he can’t help HBK tonight…GX is doing the honors!!! And Y2J is joining the brawl now!!! We’ve got a stable war on the scaffold between GX and the Posse!!! It’s Y2J, Scarlet KV, Rage, Blade, Diamond, and Michaels Vs Sniper, Jamal, Angel, Fredo…and now Jovan is climbing up there to even it up for the Posse!!!
DD: Even it up??!!! Diamond is up there to ya know!!!
VJ: Jamal and Angel are going at it with Rage and Blade…look out…OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHMMMMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYGGOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Crowd cheers wildly and chants "Holy Shit" "Holy Shit")
VJ: Good God…Jamal and Angel delivered an X Bomb…which is their powerbomb/neckbreaker combo…but a piece of the scaffold broke…
DD: AND ANGEL CAME CRASHING DOWN INTO THE CROWD WITH BLADE AND RAGE!!!! Fans got taken out too!!!
VJ: I’ve never seen anything like this in my life folks! Sniper Driver on HBK…and there’s a Chronic Plow on KV by Jovan!!! Fredo just tossed referee Jim Jonathan off the scaffold for no reason!! And now…as if we needed one…there’s no ref! It’s Martial Law out here!!!
DD: It’s the Battle in the Bayou, Vince!!! You gotta love it!!! C’mon, stop wasting time…throw Michaels off the damn thing!!!
VJ: Y2J has Fredo in the Walls of Jericho…but Jamal from behind with a lead pipe!!! Discipline Committee members are trying to get the unnecessary people off the scaffold…and the Posse is coming down. They are going over to where Angel fell off with Rage and Blade…and they’re doing a number on GX again!!!
DD: I see Trish!!!! Trish is attacking Maria at the set, Vince!! MEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!
VJ: Stop it! Trish Stratus has attacked Maria by the set folks…and you know she’s pissed about being demoted to a referee! Diamond has come down from the scaffold…and she’s joining in with Trish!!!
DD: What do these ladies want to harm Maria for? She the sweetest ting since Mom’s apple pie!
VJ: OOOOOKKKKKKKK!!!!!! Trish has the phone, and she’s letting Rebecca free!!!! Trish has set Rebecca free from the Posse’s capture…and that’s her repay for all the weeks Michaels rescued her from…
DD: Tell it like it is, Vince…HBK saved her ass from the Posse!!!
VJ: Yeah, that’s what I said! Sniper went for the Sniper Bomb, but HBK countered…there’s a neckbreaker on Sniper! HBK climbing the structure again…picture-perfect moonsault on Sniper!!! Michaels is tuning up the band!!!
DD: OHHHHHH NO!!!!!!! This is worse than Hulking Up!!!!
VJ: Michaels is feeling it…he knows his wife is safe down here by us…he tries for the high back body drop…and Sniper with the wherewithal to hook his leg to that pole…saved himself right there!!! Here he comes again…hip toss by HB…and Sniper with a amatuer-style waistlock…prevent the throw-off again!!! Sniper with a fireman’s carry on Michaels…HBK with the kick-up…ducks the clothesline by Sniper…here comes Sweet Chin Mu…
(The arena goes black and the crowd pops! "The Game" by Motorhead blasts and the crowd gives a mixed reaction. The lights come on, and Triple H is standing behind HBK with a sledgehammer.)
VJ: WHAT THE F*CK IS HE DOING HERE??!!!!
DD: He works here, moron!
VJ: NO-HE-DOES-NOT!!!!!!!!!!
DD: Yes he does, ya stupid monkey-in-the-bush!!! Read the roster page some time!!!
VJ: Ok, Triple H is here…and just leveled HBK with that sledgehammer!!! That no good, lousy, SON OF A BITCH!!!! Sorry, I had to get that out! Triple H is assaulting HBK, who has been busted open at the hands of the Game!!!
DD: Look at that little hussy!!! Get her down from there!!!
VJ: Rebecca has seen about all she can take of her husband getting the hell beat out of him…and she’s going to do something about it!!!
DD: Yeah, sure you’re right!!!!!!!!!!! She’s gonna get her ass beaten!!!!!!
VJ: Sniper off the structure HBK flew off of earlier…and he nailed the Senacon Bomb!!! Triple H putting the boot Michaels now…and Rebecca is almost up there!!! Look at that ingrate Sniper!!! He’s spitting right in Michaels’ face!!! Show some respect, you insignificant bastard!!!!
DD: VINCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Calm yo nerves fool!!! Before I have to bust 8 caps in your ASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
VJ: That don’t sound good! No, no, no!!! Rebecca is up there now… and she yanks Triple H off her husband! And she just slapped Triple H!!!
DD: BIG MISTAKE REBECCA!!!!
VJ: Triple H has Rebecca locked in the Pedigree!! DON’T DO IT!!!!!! Wait, Sniper is talking to Triple H…and she just slapped Sniper!!!
DD: KILL THE BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
VJ: NO!!! HBK lunges for Triple H…who we thought was his closest friend in the business!!!
DD: Typical Canadians, trying to think with no brains!!! Give it up, Vince!!!
VJ: Coming from someone from Delaware! Yeah, I’m so hurt! Sniper is beating HBK down with that pipe...and Rebecca is pleading with them to stop!!! Have some compassion guys…it’s his wife for God’s sake…and you’ve beat the man half to death!!!
DD: Well, might as well beat the rest of the way! Can’t leave a job half down…half-assed like your entire life, Vince!!!
VJ: OK! It looks like Sniper is telling Triple H to back off! And they’re walking towards the part where you climb down!!!
DD: DON’T TELL ME YOU GUYS ARE GOIND SOFT ON…..
VJ: WHAT IN THE LIVING F*CKING HELL IS HER PROBLEM???!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DD: The bitch finally smartened up!!!
VJ: What?! Rebecca helped Shawn Michaels up…and then kicked him in the balls!!! And now Triple H and Sniper are back…stomping another mud hole in HBK!!!! He doesn’t deserve this damnit!!!
DD: Yes he does…he never even treated her good! It’s true, Vince!!!
VJ: HOW DO YOU KNOW??!!!!! Where you in bed with them at night?!
DD: As a matter of fact I was…hey SHUT THE HELL UP, Johnson!!!
VJ: First HBK has to deal with all the crap Sniper and the Posse are throwing at him…but now he has to deal with the fact it was all a set-up with the kidnapping thing…Rebecca was with them all along!!! And look at Triple H…he’s kissing Rebecca right in Michaels’ face!!! And HBK’s trying to get at him…but Sniper stomps him down again!!! Triple H is picking HBK up…and there’s the Pedigree on the scaffold!!! If he wasn’t done before, he’s damn sure done now!!! Sniper’s got a damn microphone! Cut his mic off!!!
Sniper: See Shawn, I wasn’t lying when I said I was the Purest Player in the Game…and a master as well!!! You wanted to play with me…well this is how I play! This is how my peeps play! And if it’s too hot for you to handle…thenm get out of the fire!!! The plan has come full circle, and we’re not even half way thru the game yet! There’s more to this story…so come back to us when you heal…cuz I want to finish, FINISHING you off right here in the NFWA…where it’s ALL LEGAL!!!
(Sniper slams down the mic. He picks Michaels up and gives him the Sniper Bomb off the scaffold thru 4 stacks of tables in the ring. The crowd chants "Holy Shit" "Holy Shit".)
VJ: OHHHHHHHHHH MYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY GGGGOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DD: YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Michaels, you just got knocked the F*CK out, man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ohh, this is great!!!!
VJ: This is the darkest day in NFWA history!!! Rebecca has screwed her husband, Shawn Michaels out of this match along with Triple H and Sniper!!!
Announcer: Here is your winner, Sniper!!!!!
VJ: Sniper officially wins this match-up…but as far as class and dignity goes…he looses big time!!!
DD: What you mean? Sniper came to Game Time, and did exactly what he said he was going to do. He embarrassed HBK…he bloodied HBK…he robbed him of his pride, dignity, and most importantly…HIS WIFE, and probably CAREER!!! Shawn ain’t coming back here after tonight!!! He knows who’s better!!!
VJ: That’s your opinion and you’re sticking to it!!! But this was absolutely repulsive!!!!
("Tha Block is Hot" plays up, and Sniper climbs off the scaffold with Rebecca and Triple H. The Posse comes out except Angel to celebrate with them, as EMT’s rush the ring to help Michaels.)
VJ: I can't believe they did that! The Son of a bitch!!!!!!! Up next is the Kamikaze Match, GX Vs the LoD! Let’s show you how this match came about!
(Flashback, we get Firestorm and Sniper getting blown up, Firestorm coming back and attacking Panther, Firestorm powerbombing Tina through a table, Panther joining GX, GX kidnapping Trish, Ice Cube announcing his retirement, Lightning taking his spot, Big Foot taking the extra spot and Panther getting his ass beat by the BBB and Firestorm. Cut to the roof)
Kamikaze Match: Generation X-Treme Vs Legion of Destruction
DD:This should be one hell of a match, but Vince I got to go with the LoD on this one, Ha Ha Ha! Especially now since Panther is out with a concussion and, Ha Ha Ha! Tina is taking his place!
VJ:Well we should be getting the picture on the Firetron in a second. What the hell is this? My Generation by Limp Bizkit is blaring out of the speakers! And oh my sweet lord!
DD:Curse you god!
VJ:It's Ice Cube making his way down to the ring! He is on cruches and has on a neck brase! He is comming over to the annonce table.
DD:Why Ice Cube? Why?
VJ:Hello Ice Cube, it's great to have you hear!
IC:Hey man! Dave... It's great to be back, I decided hell, I can't fight in the match i'll annonce it!
DD:Were you invited down here?
IC:Nope, but Ice Cube don't need no damn invitation!
VJ:Well we got our picture and it shows all these men on top of that abanded building! This should be a great match! Refere Stephine Jenkings has started the match and Rage and Scarlet KV are going right at it! Rage takes down KV with a spear and he is picking him up, he is draging him over to the,..They just fell threw the roof!
IC:My bro is so cheap in picking buildings.
DD:The building is abanded what do you eccpect?
VJ:Well we have a camera down with Rage and KV on the floor below the roof. It is kinda dark and shadowy, I don't see them yet and over in the corner their is scarlet KV holding his head and Rage is getting up, he has a board from the celling and he clocks KV right in the side of the head! Rage winds up again, KV chaches it with his hand blade! He throws it down and know he is is tackling Rage, he has KV on the ground, he just slashed him across the cheast!
DD:Ha Ha This is great, Rage is rolling on that floor in pain! Rage gets up and is sent right back down with a super kick by KV!
IC:Come on Rage! Beat his ass!
DD:Like he can hear you...
IC:Shut up!
VJ:Rage is staggering to his feet and KV has Rage by the hair he opened the door to the stair well and they are going back up to the celling, KVopenes the door to the roof and their right back up their! We got a picture of Blade and Chris jericho going at it know! Jericho takes Blade by the legs and he has the walls of jericho locked in! Blade is screaming in pain! Blade is raising his hand ready to tap out! Here is Dimond from behind she grabs Jerichos long hair and throws him right off the Roof! Who the man,.. I meen Women know Dave? Who the women know?
DD:Jericho, my god!
IC:Ha Ha! Jenkings got the count going she is going to count him out! 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10! Jericho has been eliminated!
Ring Annoncer:Chris Jericho has been eliminated!
DD:Noooo! Not Chris! Not Chris!
VJ:From behind!Kurt Angle has Dimond up by her pants! And here is bigfoot! He hits Angel with a Double Axe Handle Chop! He drops Dimond and Dimond hits a low blow and Dimond Cutter! Dimond has Angel and she just threw him to big foot! Big Foot just power bombed Angel off the damn building! This is horible! In a good way!
DD:No, not kurt **Crying** not kurt... Why!
IC:Quit your damn whyning before I hurt you!
DD:**Holding in the tears** Sorry...
VJ:Jenkings has the count on Angle and 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10! Kurt Angel is gone!
Ring Annoncer:Kurt Angel has been eliminated!
VJ:Rage and KV are still going at it, KV is bloody and Rage looks to be in controll Rage is looking to spear KV off! KV moves Rage is hanging on the side of the building! Look at the smile on KV's face! He just jumped on Rage's fingers! Come on Scarlet, this is un neccacary! Bigfoot just turned KV around and he is going for a power bomb but KV slashes him right down the center of his head! Bigfoot is down holding his head! KV just licked the blood off of his Hand blade! Rage is back up and he just tackled KV from behind! KV slashes him right down the arm! Rages arm does not look good at all!
DD:Ha Ha! They can't stop one man! This is great!
IC: Don't make me hurt you...
DD:Sorry Mr. Cube.
IC:Thats better!
VJ:KV has bigfoot and he is draging his face across the barbwire wall! Big foot is screaming in pain! Bigoot just tried to grab the wall to back out and his hands are stuck! They barbwire is in his hands so far he can't pull them off, Rage is on the ground holding his arm! Dimond and Firestorm are going at it and Firestorm is having fun with here! And lightning from behind with a slege hammer! He clocked Firestorm and he is out cold! And Rodney Demp is hammering away on Lightning he grabs the sledge hammer and he just clocked him! Dimond picks up Firestorm and is going for the Dimond Cutter but Firestorm shoves her to the edge, her head is hanging off! Firestorm is chocking the life out of her! She is turning purple and Our camera know switches to Glacier and Blade going at it! Glaicer is hammering away on Blade! Glacier with an Irish Whip into the land mines and Blade may be dead let alone getting up, Jenkings counts 1,2
DD: Letm me have the honers! 3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10! Blade is gone!
Ring Annoncer: Blade Has been eliminated
VJ:Well we got a picture with KV, Bigfoot and Rage again. KV is shooting them with a paint ball gun! Rage is down and covering his place and his special spot.
DD:Special Spot?
VJ:Right Dave. Bigfoot still cant move he is leaning against that wall of barbwire and he is bleeding horibly! He is in pain but since he is not on the ground and he is still somewhat standing they can't count the TKO on him! KV know has a baseball bat! He smaches Rage over the back with it and Rage is screaming in pain! He goes over to Bigfoot and he is bashing him in the damn head! Over and Over! Here comes Prez Firestorm he tells KV to move and he hits a Big Boot on BigFoot sending his head into the barbwire! The Prez just ripped Bigfoot off that wall slicing him in half! Bigfoot has blood pouring out of him! Bigfoot is screaming in pain as Firestorm know is hammering him with that bat!
IC:Shit! Firestorm just cracked that bat over the back of Big Foot! Know he just tossed Big Foot of the building! The only reason the people getting tossed off live is because their is a mat down their. And that mat aint to thick they'll be seriously hurt!
DD: Jenkings is counting Big Goof out! 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10! Big Goof is gone!
Ring Annoncer:Big Foot has been eliminated!
VJ:It is down to Dimond, Tina, Lightning, and a hurt Rage for GX and for LoD it is Prez Firestorm, Scarlet KV, Glacier, and Rodney Demp! Scarlet KV has Lightning and he is draging his face accross the Barb Wire and Lightning turns around holding his face in pain and Scarlet tries to slash Lightning but he ducks and comes back with a right hand knocking KV on his ass! Lightning has mase out of his pocket! Lightning just spraed that directly in his eyes! KV droped faster than a dress on prom night!Rodney Demp with a huge closeline on Lightning taking him out for the moment he has the mace and he is spraying it in the face of Lightning! He just tossed it to Glacier and he told him to spray it in Rage's wounds!
IC:Come on Rage move!
DD:He aint moving! YOU IDIOT!
IC: Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha
VJ:Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha HaHa Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha HaHa Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha HaHa Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Glaicer just sprayed that mase the wrong way! It went right back in to his face and, Glacier is backing right off the building! Glacier just fell of the building on his own! What a retard! Oh My God!
IC: What a loser! Glaicer I thought you were an idiot before this incident but know, Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha God you loser!
VJ:Dimond is cheaking on Rage and Rage is getting up! Out of no were comes Demp and he just shoved Dimond right off the damn building! Rage spit at demp and those two are hammering on each other! Demp just threw rage threw the hold that KV and Rage went threw earlier! Demp turns around and is met by a Lightning Bolt!
DD:Jenkings is counting for Dimond! 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10! Dimond is gone!
Ring Annoncer:Dimond has been eliminated!
VJ: Scarlet KV is all over Lightning and he is hammering on him! KV hit him with a DDT! KV is stomping away on him! And here is The presededent he is chasing Tina! He has tina by the shirt! Tina just un buttoned her shirt! I have seen Tina's Bra! Finnaly! Firestorm has Tina by the bra and that just broke! Tina is topless on a roof with a bunch of men! Out of no were it is Panther! He has a big bandege around his head and he is hammering on the presedent he just tossed him off and he gives Rodney and KV a low blow! He just shoved Rodney Demp off the ring, He takes of his jacket and covers Tina up!
DD: Damn you!
IC:Shut up Dave! Tina didn't deserve to be humiliated like that in front of the world! Right Vince?
VJ:**Drooling** Wha? what? oh yeah she didn't deserve to be humiliated like that! Panther is taking tina off the roof! Jenkings is counting for Tina,Demp, and Presedrent Firestorm!1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10! Demp, Prez and Tina are all eliminated!
Ring Annoncer:Rodney Demp, Presedent Firestorm and Tina have been eliminated!
VJ: It is down to Rage who just got back on the roof, Lightning and Scarlet KV! This spells Trouble for KV!
DD: Trouble T-R-O-U-B-L-E Trouble!
IC:Dave, **Grabs Dave by the back of the head and slams his head into the annonce table knocking him out temporaraly** Shut Up!
VJ: I would have to agree with that! KV is hammering on rage! He has the upper hand and from behind! Lightning just broke that 2X4 over the back of Scarlet KV! Scarlet is in aginising pain! Lightning hits the Lightning bolt! Blade is puts on a set of weeding gloves from the weapons pile and puts them on! He starts to climb the Barb Wire wall! He just jumpped off the top! Thats an extra 25 feet in the air, he hit the "Rair Ait" on KV!
IC:Hell Ya Rage! Go G fucking X! Know that shit took some balls!
DD:What I miss?
VJ:Shut Up! Rage is going to throw KV off the building but Lightning stops him! Lightning is suggjesting they torcher him more!
IC:Thats Lightning for ya!
VJ:This is great! Lightning just gave him another Lightning Bolt! He has a Chair and he just threw it to Rage! Know he has his own chair! Conchairto!(Double Chair shot for those of you that don't watch WWF) And my god KV is getting up! He just slashed Rage across the stomache and he got lightning in the face! He has Lightning by the pants and shirt and he is going to throw him off! Lightning with an elbow and KV just slashed him across the back, he runs over to Rage and he is going to throw Rage off! He did it! Jenkings counts 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10!
Ring Annoncer:Rage has been eliminated!
VJ:KV Just picked up the chair and he is hammering Lightning Lightning appears to be out cold! It's Panther!
DD:He ruins everything!
IC:Panteher just in time KV was going to throw off Lightning but Panther just clocked him in the samll of the back with a sledge hammer! And he just threw off KV! Jenkins counts! 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10! G fucking X baby! G fUCKING X!
VJ:Lightning is already down the stairs with the EMT'S, They have to get him ready quick for his title defense against Squirrl! And My god! Panther Turns around and from behind it is firestorm with a blow tourch he has just lit panther on fire! Firestorm is limping, he looks like he just roze from the dead! He is laughing at Panther and panther in such a panic he just fell of the roof! Rollin (Urban Assult Veichle) By Limp Bizkit is playing at the abanded building as Firestorm stands on the top of the building alonne! He has his Blow Tourch held high and he is spraying it! GX has won the match but they don't look like winners!
Ring Annoncer: Scarlet KV has been eliminated! Your winners, Generation X-tream!
VJ: GX pulls out the victory…Panther is in serious trouble…
DD: But what about Lightning???! He just went through all of that, and his World Title match is up NEXT!!!!!!!!!!
VJ: Lightning may regret taking Ice Cube's place in that match. Well…while we give Lightning a chance to revive himself for the Main Event, let's give you another preview of NFWA X-Tra, which will be officially launched on March 24th! Here…is the most interesting thing I've ever seen…the pre-recorded RAGE REPORT!!!!!!!!
(Camera cuts to Cartman from South Park)
Cartman: (Singing) It's the Rage Reeeeeepoooooooorrrrrrrt!!! Yeeeeeesssssssss it's the RAAAAAAAAAAAAGE REEEEEEPOOOOOOORT! Reported by RAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE! For the new NFWA PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE!!!!!! Now here's RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE!!!!!!!!!!
(After the stupidest intro in the history of TV, the scene cuts to Rage, who's sitting in what looks like a school house. He's wearing a blue GX jersey with red lettering. In the background we see a NY Giants football helmet)
Rage: First, Slam Fest.. the biggest PPV ever in NFWA. Slam Fest will mark the opening of NFWA X-Tra! When the site is up.. check there for future Rage Reports, Easy E, and more! Now, to the report. I want to talk about Melting Flame. Well.. I told you I would beat you! Did you really think you had a chance? (He walks over to his freezer and pulls out a chunk of ice that looks like a flame...)Yea yea.. I get a refrigerator in my locker room.. where else would I keep my beer..er... cherry coke! Ok.. anyway.. what I have here is a Flame.. but.... (puts it near the heater) when I put it near the heater.. it's a MELTING flame! Haha! This is just what happened in the match.. he thought he had a chance.. but I just kept pounding and pounding until......(the flame is melted.. and there is a puddle of water on the floor) there was nothing left! Now, as for Ice Berg... you got a cheap shot in at the end... sore loser. Anyway... (goes to his feeezer, and pulls out a chunk of ice)....now.. this may not be an actual ICE BERG.. but it's close enough.. after all.. they are both chunks of ice! Now.. lets see why Ice Cube was such a sore loser....(Rage whips the "iceberg" and the ground and it smashes) it's because I destroyed him! Just like that! HAHA! Now.. we have this new loser named Sphere.. and he likes to light things on fire.. well.. I have something perfect for you! (Rage reaches in his bag... and pulls out a softball. Then he walks out of his locker room.. and down the hall... when he see's Sphere's locker room.. he kicks the door down...)Noone here.. just as I suspected. Man.. who would wanna be in here.. it's scummy! Well.. the sucky wrestlers get the sucky locker rooms I guess....(looks around... finds a gasoline can and blow torch)...now how did I know a pyromaniac like that would have this here? Well.. anyway...(he pours gasoline all over the locker room.. then he pours a little on the softball.... he lights the ball on fire.. and whips it at the wall.. the whole locker room catches on fire! Rage nonchalantly walks back to his locker room...) Sphere.. you wanna light ME on fire? Well.. I got your locker room.. but YOUR NEXT!!! Thats right, Sphere... next week I challange you ONE on ONE in an INFERNO match! I will even put my X-Treme Title on the line.. even thought you don't deserve it! Well...thats all for this weeks Rage Report... check back for more!
(More Cartman)
Cartman: That's the RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE REEEEEEEEEEEEEEPOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRT!!!! YESSSSSS!!! The RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE REEEEEEEEEEPOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRT!!!! That's what you saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw!!!!! And that's aaaaaaaaaaaaaalll! So…screw you guys, I'm going home!
(Camera cuts back to the commentary booth with Vince Johnson and Delaware Dave)
VJ: Uh…well. That's Rage…the man that may be the NFWA TV Cha…
DD: That had to be the dumbest thing I've ever seen!
VJ: That's not true. After all, don't you look in the mirror?! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!
DD: Uh…yeah. Anyway, if Rage thinks that's gonna make him the TV Champ, he's wrong! Dead wrong! KV is the TV Champ, like it or not!!!!!
VJ: Well ladies and gents we're almost ready. Let's show you how this match between Lightning and Squirrel came about!!!
(We get the flashback. Masked Man stalks Pro, Masked Man beats Pro with hammer, Masked Man attacks Lightning, Masked Man turns out to be Squirrel, Lightning throws Squirrel off of roof, Anarchy costs Squirrel Title Match, Anarchy helps Squirrel get match back, Lightning Vs Squirrel is next…but before that, the camera cuts back to the locker room where Rage is in the medical area after the Kamikaze match. Suddenly the door bursts open, Scarlet KV runs in and they begin to fight)
VJ: WHOA!!! We're supposed to be having the World Title match right now, but we've got a brawl between Scarlet KV and Rage backstage!
DD: Rage knows KV is the real Champ! Give him his belt back!!!
VJ: Rage is getting the upper…who the hell is that???!
DD: HAHAH!
VJ: We've got some mystery man back there and he's attacking Rage!!!!! KV and this man are doing a number on Rage…OH!!!!!!!! He just bashed him in the head with a lead pipe!!!!! We've got officials in there to break this up…Rage is hurt!!!!!!!!
World Title Scaffold Match: Lightning (Champion) Vs Squirrel
(The lights flicker once…twice…3 times before finally going out. "SQUIRREL 4:20" appears on the Firetron and "Natural Born Killaz" blasts over the PA system. The crowd erupts in a chorus of boos as Squirrel steps out through the curtains. He starts to walk to the ring but stops. He motions for somebody to come from the back)
DD: Who's he calling for?
VJ: I don't know…something just doesn…wait a minute!!!!! THAT'S ZYDREX!!!!!!!!!! Squirrel's former tag team partner from Total Domination!!!! What's he doing here???!
DD: Welcome back!!!!!!!!! This is gonna be great, Vince!
VJ: Something stinks about this one! Squirrel has brought Zydrex back to the NFWA…they're gonna try and screw Lightning out of the belt!
DD: Screw my ass…wait a minute! That didn't sound right…
VJ: I don't even wanna know what you were trying to say. None of your ridiculous excuses! This just plain reeks of conspiracy!
(When they get to the ring the music dies down. Suddenly a HUGE lightning bolt strikes the ring and the crowd goes crazy. "Ride the Lightning" blasts over the PA system and Lightning rides out on his zamboni and carrying his custom made NFWA World Title belt. He parks the zamboni, climbs into the ring and poses on the ropes with the belt in his hands. He hops down and goes face to face with Zydrex. While his back is turned, Squirrel comes up from behind and nails him with a clothesline)
Ding Ding Ding!!!
DD: HAHA! Bye bye, Sparky!!!!
VJ: Zydrex just dis…
DD: Don't even say it! Lightning was just too damn stupid to turn around. Actually I think he might have a little crush on Zydrex too!
VJ: You know he's gonna kill you, right?! Squirrel picks up Lightning and tosses him back to the buckle…he's stomping to the midsection…the way you lose this match is by tossing your opponent off the scaffold and 40ft down to the ring below!
DD: Why aren't they up there, then?
VJ: Because Squirrel is trying to murder Lightning in corner right now…wait! Lightning fires back with a right hand! Squirrel with 1 of his own and LIGHTNING RESPONDS!
DD: Damn! Calm it down, a bit!
VJ: Lightning is fighting his way out of that corner!!! He's got Squirrel on the run…Irish whip by Lightning but Squirrel reverses…hey!!!!! Zydrex tripped Lightning up when he hit off of the ropes!
DD: I didn't see nothing! You're just…OH!!!!!!!!
VJ: Squirrel charged in at Lightning and got back body dropped right on top of that zamboni!!!
DD: That'll crack your back and bust a few nuts!
VJ: Really, Dave????! Squirrel is down on top of that Zamboni and Zydrex is trying to help his friend up…Lightning is out on the floor and he nails both men with double clotheslines!
DD: Damn it, that's unnecessary roughness! 5 yd penalty!
VJ: This ain't football! Lightning picks up both members of Total Domination…OH!!! Double noggin knocker and both men go down! Lightning with a right floors Zydrex…there's 1 for Squirrel and he tosses him back into the ring! Lightning picks Squirrel up and chops him back to the ropes! Irish whip by Lightning…reversal by Squirrel sends the champ into the ropes…OH!!!!!!!!! Stun Gun by Squirrel!
DD: HHAHAHAH! That was a thing of beauty!
VJ: Squirrel backs Lightning into the buckle…stomp right to the stomach! He's choking Lightning in the corner and he slumps down…Lightning is in big trouble thanks to Squirrel!
DD: Oh yeah!!! The mood is right Vinny! Can you feel what I feel?!
VJ: What's that?!
DD: NUTT BUSTER!!!!!!!!!
VJ: Squirrel with the Nutt Buster on Lightning!!! And the crowd used to go crazy for this move! Well they're not now! Squirrel just hit the Nutt Buster on Lightning…and now it looks like he's setting up for the Nutt Shot!
DD: Yeah, but he should hit that up on the Scaffold…knock Lightning down and make him go boom!
VJ: He's setting it up…Lightning is back up and here it comes…no!! He caught the foot…he spins Squirrel around…LIGHTNING BOLT!!!!!!!!! Squirrel has just been KO'd with the Lightning Bolt…he makes the cover but the ref is telling him uh uh! You've gotta knock him off of the Scaffold! Meanwhile…what is Squirrel…Zydrex just grabbed Lightning's belt from the timekeeper…he just took his belt and hopped into the crowd with it! Lightning sees Zydrex leaving with the belt and now he's chasing after him! Lightning is chasing Zydrex through the crowd…
DD: Run, Zy! Run!!!!!
VJ: Zydrex is trying to run up the stairs but Lightning caught his ankle…double leg takedown and now Lightning is hammering away on Zydrex!!!!!!! Lightning is beating the life out of him with those vicious right hands! He picks him up by the hair now…
DD: Oh no!!!!!!
VJ: Atomic drop on the steel banister by Lightning and Zydrex is hurt…Lightning has his belt back!!!!!
DD: Look up on the scaffold!!!
VJ: Squirrel is making the climb!!!! Squirrel is headed up to the top of the scaffold…he's there!!!!! Squirrel is over 40ft in the air…he's calling Lightning back!!!
DD: uh oh! Somebody's gonna…DIE!
VJ: Lightning is still in the crowd with Zydrex but he sees Squirrel saying bring it…and Lightning's bringing it!!!!!!! Lightning is headed back to ringside…he's fighting through those fans and…here we go!
DD: He's climbing to the top…to the VERY top!!!
VJ: Lightning is headed up…this crowd is going crazy…he's at the top of the scaffold and here they go again!!!! Lightning and Squirrel! They’re going at it on that thin Scaffolding, much like Sniper and HBK did earlier on tonight…and I'm not even gonna comment on the sickening thing that happened in that match! That was just…I still can't believe it!
DD: Me neither! HBK sure got his, didn't he?!
VJ: My God that was disgusting! Anyway, Lightning is getting the upper hand on Squirrel…Squirrel is staggering…Lightning nails him with a right hand and Squirrel staggers back…another!!!
DD: Incoming!!!!!!!
VJ: Squirrel's gonna fall…HE FELL!!!!! But he caught the edge of the scaffold!!!! Lightning is standing over Squirrel…if Squirrel falls he may not only lose this match, he may lose his life!
DD: Come on, Vince! Do something about this!!!!
VJ: Lightning just stepped on Squirrel's hand…his hand slipped!!!! Squirrel is handing on by 1 hand…no he got the other one back on!!!! Lightning is stepping on it…what is Squirrel doing?!
DD: He's rocking to try and shake the sca…HAHAH!!!!!
VJ: Lightning slipped and fell!!!!! Squirrel rocked the scaffold and caused Lightning to fall back!!! 1 more inch and this match would've been over!!! Squirrel manages to pull himself back up onto the platform and he's choking out Lightning! He's trying to shove him off of the platform…LIGHTNING WITH A KICK TO THE GROIN!!!!!!
DD: I've got butterflies in my stomach, Vince!
VJ: This has to be the most nerv…wait! It's the nWo again!!! What are they doing out here???!
DD: Free country, Canadian!
VJ: We've got the nWo coming out to the ring and they're watching the match on the floor. Meanwhile Lightning and Squirrel are trying to get back up without falling off of the scaffold!
DD: This is like 1 of those pirate movies where you walk the plank!
VJ: They're both back up…and they're trading right hands again!!!!!! We've got an all out war going on in the rafters between these 2…Squirrel with a rake to the face! He's signaling for…THE NUTT SHOT!!! It's blocked and Lightning catches him in a fireman's carry…
DD: He wouldn't!
VJ: LIGHTNING ROD ON THE SCAFFOLD!!!!!!! Lightning has just planted…whoa!!!!!!!!!!
DD: Oh my God!!!!!
VJ: Squirrel just rolled off of the scaffold!!!! He's ankle got caught in the chain that's connecting that platform to the scaffold and he's hanging upside down above us!
DD: If he falls, he's dead!
VJ: Lightning is standing above him laughing…if he kicks his foot out of that chain Squirrel is done! Lightning…don't do it!
DD: What the hell do you mean don't do it?! Squirrel ran him over with a van!
VJ: That's true…but he'll come crashing down on his head! The impact will kill him! Lightning…now Scott Steiner is climbing up there! Steiner is up on the platform…he just nailed Lightning with a right hand that staggers him back!
DD: Thank you Scotty!!!
VJ: Scott Steiner has just saved Squirrel! He reaches down off the platform…Steiner has Squirrel by the arm and pulls him back up to safety! That whore!
DD: You're a damn hypocrite! 1 minute you're sitting here begging Lightning not to drop Squirrel, and when somebody saves him you're mad about it!
VJ: Scott Steiner has saved Squirrel…Lightning just clotheslines Steiner from behind…OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! STEINER JUST GOT CLOTHESLINED OFF OF THE SCAFFOLD!!!!!!!!! HE WENT 40FT DOWN AND CRASHED RIGHT INTO THE RING!!!!!!
DD: Oh my God, he's dead!
VJ: The nWo is in the ring to check on him…Lightning is trying to pick up Squirrel…OH! Squirrel with a low blow on Lightning!!!
DD: HAHAHA!
VJ: Lightning is staggered and Squirrel is trying to pull himself back to his feet…NUTT SHOT!!!!! LIGHTNING FALLS!!!!!!! NO!!!!!! NO!!!!!!! NO!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ding Ding Ding!!!!
Announcer: Here is your winner, and new NFWA World Heavyweight Champion: Squirrel!!!!!!!!!
DD: Vinny, can you dig it????!
VJ: I can't believe that just happened!!!!!!!! Squirrel has just won the World Title!!!!! Lightning…oh my God Lightning broke the ring!!! The ringpost just caved in!!! I can't believe this!!!
DD: (Singing) We got a new Champion, we got a new Champion!!! Long Live Squirrel!!!!
VJ: And the nWo is looking on laughing…hey!!! Squirrel just grabbed the World belt…Lightning's custom made belt, and he's leaving ringside with it!
DD: Hey! That's Squirrel's!
VJ: The nWo is leaving with the Title and Squirrel is the champion!!! Squirrel just climbed down where he's greeted by Zydrex…Zydrex just told him what went down and now they're headed after the nWo!!!! Total Domination is chasing the nWo back to the locker room as Lightning lies unconscious in the ring!
DD: Vince, you know what I'm gonna do?! I'm gonna get the biggest blunts, the biggest boobs, the bestest asses and the finest champagne and celebrate that we have a new World Champion!!! HAHAHA!
VJ: We've got officials out here trying to help up Lightning…he's hurt badly…it's the Rock!!!
DD: Huh???!
VJ: The Rock just came from the crowd with a steel chair…OH!!!! He just hit Lightning right in the head!!!!!! Damn it!!!!!!! Son of a bitch!!! Damn it!!!!! The Rock is going to work on Lightning!! He picks him up…ROCK BOTTOM! Rock Bottom through what's left of the ring!! The Rock is standing over Lightning…here comes GX to ringside and the Rock hightails it out of there!!! Folks…we're out of time! We'll see you next month at Slamfest!!! We have a new World Champ!!!!!!!
©2001 NFWA Productions, Inc.