DD: Wait, wait, wait! What happened to Kevin Taylor???! I lent him a porno tape that he was supposed to give back to me today and now you're here. Where is he?!

VJ: Well, Prez Panther has hired me back to the NFWA…we got that whole USA/Canada thing cleared up and we're ready to get back to normal…well except for the fact that you're not allowed to insult me anymore.

DD: Go back to Vancouver! Idiot!

VJ: Let's get to the 1^st match of the evening!

VJ: Shyanne has charged the ring and she went straight after Downcast! She's mad about what Downcast did to her this week when the Dynasty had her held hostage and OH! Jevona with a forearm shot to the back of Shyanne…Shyanne with a clothesline sends Jevona down…Jaguar with a spear!!!! Those bastards…and now they're triple teaming Shyanne! I can't believe…

DD: Disqualify them!

VJ: If anybody needs to be DQ'd it's the Dynasty for attacking Shyanne!

DD: She attacked them you idiot. Then again, you are from Canada so I shouldn't expect you to have a brain anyway…

VJ: (Punches Dave and knocks him out of his chair) Prez Panther said I can do that everytime you insult Canada. Siege is stomping down on Downcast in the buckle! Demp is doing a number on Jaguar in the other corner! Shyanne with a headbutt on Jevona has her dazed and now watch the Elites…double Irish whip and the Dynasty has just sandwiched Jevona! Takeover on Downcast by Siege! There's the Flowing DDT by Demp on Jaguar…Jevona is in the ring all alone now! This isn't good for her! Spear by Shyanne on Jevona and she is beating the life out of her! She picks her back up…snap suplex on Jevona! She rolls through and hits another one. Shyanne goes to the ring apron and starts to climb to the top rope…this crowd here in Milwaukee is jacked…Jevona is back to her feet and Shyanne makes the dive…Jevona caught her with a spear in midair! That's amazing! On the outside Trish and Leena are loving this. She hooks the leg…1…2…kickout by Shyanne! She's a tough girl.

DD: So is Siege! Look at the look on that idiot's face. He and his lucky Tag Team Partner Demp. They think that they're great, but we all know that they still suck.

VJ: Will you stop it before they come over here? They'll beat you worse than I did. Knife-edge chop to the chest of Shyanne by Jevona! There's another one! Right hand by Jevona catches her right on the jaw and she throws the Women's Champ to the floor. Shyanne has to be feeling terrible after the horrible things that Downcast and the Dynasty did to her this week.

DD: Hey, I talked to Downcast and he told me that the Dynasty never did anything that she didn't want them to do. Those guys are saints!

VJ: Those guys are bastards! And Jevona is flirting with Demp…look on the floor! Trish just hit Shyanne in the head with that boot and now Leena is stomping her into the ground…she picks her up and suplexes her onto the steel stairs! Referee look at what's going on!!! He finally turns around and he's gonna count Shyanne out…1…2…3…4…5…6…7…8…9…Siege picks up Shyanne and throws her into the ring. Jevona has a big smile on her face and she picks up Shyanne…oh no! She's going for Total Dispear! No!! Double leg takedown by Shyanne…slingshot into the buckle on Jevona!!!! Jevona is down and now she's trying to make the tag to Downcast. Shyanne is reaching for the Elites…Jevona tagged Downcast and Shyanne tagged in Siege! Siege and Downcast are going at it in the center of the ring…Irish whip to the ropes and Siege drives him into the mat with a Powerslam! Jaguar runs into the ring and Siege blasts him with a clothesline! Siege mounts Downcast and blasts him with right hands…Jaguar from behind with a dragon sleeper…Demp from behind with a reverse facelock on Jag…he reverses and is going for another flowing DDT…Jag backs him into the corner! Jaguar charges in…hot shot type move sent Jaguar's head bouncing right off of the groin of Downcast! Downcast is hurt badly! The Elites set Jaguar on the top rope and both men are climbing up…Jevona low blows Siege! He falls to the ring and now Jevona shakes the top rope and send both Jaguar and Demp crashing into the steel stairs!!!! My God they may be dead!!!! Downcast picks up Siege…Total Dispear…this match is over but Jevona has the ref distracted…Shyanne has a glass bottle…OH!!! She shattered it over Downcast's head!!!!

DD: That filthy slut! Downcast is gonna kill her!

VJ: Watch your mouth! Downcast turns to Shyanne and grabs her by the hair…Siege low blowed Downcast and Shyanne hooks him in a small package…the ref turns back around…1…2…3!!!!

VJ: I can't believe it! Downcast has been defeated by Shyanne!

DD: No he hasn't! Downcast got beat by NOTHIN!!!! Shyanne wasn't even the legal man! You know damn well that wasn't fair!!!

VJ: Well it serves him right…Jaguar is back up…OH! He just hit Demp in the back of the head with a crowbar. He runs back into the ring and he has Shyanne by the hair!!! Jaguar is gonna beat Shyanne with that sledgehammer…oh thank God! Siege back up and he's tearing into Jaguar…what the hell? That's referee Brad Patterson!!! Referee Brad Patterson just came out and clotheslined Siege from behind…it didn't phase Siege and he has Patterson by the throat! Jaguar just blasted Siege with a crowbar right between the shoulder blades! Siege is down and what the hell is Patterson doing? Crippler Crossface on Siege!!!! Brad Patterson is trying to humiliate Siege! Shyanne just kicked Patterson in the back of the head…Jaguar just hit her with the crowbar!

DD: Yeah!!!! Paybacks are hell!

VJ: Jaguar goes to the floor and he's looking underneath the ring…oh no. He's pulling out a table! Jaguar grabs Shyanne…he's gonna put her through that table but Downcast is trying to stop him.

DD: You see, I told you Downcast is a good guy.

VJ: I think you may be kinda right. Jaguar puts Shyanne down…now Downcast grabs her by the hair and drags her to the ring apron!!!! I he has her up for a piledriver…don't do it!!! NO!!!!! He just piledrove Shyanne from the ring apron through the announcer's table! Here comes the Revolution out to the ring with baseball bats and the Dynasty leaves the ringside area but the damage has already been done to the Elites and Shyanne! And Dave you say that Downcast is a good guy! You can kiss my ass!

DD: Hey! Calm down Canada boy! She broke a bottle over his head, and what goes around comes around!

VJ: We've got officials and EMT's coming to work on Shyanne…we'll be back.

("Ballers" by Ram Squad starts to play and the crowd gets on their feet and cheers as professional walks out onto the stage. he has a somber look on his face, and walks down to the ring talking to himself, muttering things under his breath. he climbs into the ring, without posing, or flaunting his belt for the fans. instead he just grabs a mic..)

Professional: Hello all. It's good to be here in uh..wherever i am..yeah..it's nice.

DD: I'll tell you, this fed is full of nothing but non-geographical jackasses!

VJ: Well we're sad to see the Professional go. He'll be missed. I wonder if Prez Panther and Sniper even know what happened. Ladies and gentlemen we'll be back.

Kurt: This isn't fair! Who gave him the right to sign a tournament? He's not the Prez! You're the Prez! You should give me the belt!

Downcast: Kurt's right, but I need the belt! I'm the Champion! I never lost the belt, I've never been pinned for it.

Kurt: Well I guess that would make Shyanne the Champion cuz you lost to her! I've never lost to a woman, and we don't need person who loses to the weaker sex to represent this fed as our Champion! It's true!

Chyna: Hey Kurt, shut up!

Prez: Yeah, that was ignorant.

Downcast: No wonder he doesn't have a girlfriend!

Prez: Listen, we'll do the little tourney thing, we're the best in the NFWA and nobody will stop us. And Downcast what are you worried about. You were in the last World Title tournament and you went to the finals. See, it doesn't matter what kind of match it is, all that matters is that things will be going the Dynasty's way. Now I've got some important biz to take care of so you guys can work this out while I'm gone.

Kurt: I've got a match now! You just have some integrity and think about what I said!

DD: The only reason that he lost that match is because Kaos is a big cheater! I mean, he hangs around Rick Bruiser so you know it's true. It's true!

VJ: This is gonna be a wrestling match…there's the collar and elbow lockup and he backs him into the buckle does Kaos…Angle reverses and the referee calls for the break…Angle gives him a clean break. OH! Kaos slaps him in the face! Angle tries to fire off with a right hand but misses…armdrag takeover by Kaos and he locks him in an armbar.

DD: Come on, Kurt! Kick him in the nuts!

VJ: You idiot! Angle with a nice escape from the armback and counters into a top wristlock! Angle yanks him by the hair and drives Kaos to the canvas! Nip up by Kaos and he's back to his feet…Angle drives the knee into his midsection! Angle grabs Kaos by the hair and rams him headfirst into the turnbuckle! Irish whip and Kaos' back bounces hard off of the buckle!

Kurt: WHOO!!!!!

VJ: That jackoff!

DD: I'm gonna tell him that you insulted his masculinity!

VJ: He was crying like a girl at the Olympics. Angle charges at him but Kaos back body drops Kurt over the top rope and sends him crashing hard to the arena floor! Kurt is hurt and Jevona is checking on him outside! Kurt and Jevona are about to leave! What ever happened to the 3 I's?

DD: The 3 eyes all went blind when they saw your fat ass mama get out of the shower last night! Kurt's just taking a rest…

VJ: Will you stop it??!!! Damn it! Kaos runs to the floor and he grabs Kurt by the hair…right hand sends him to the concrete! Kaos picks Kurt up over his shoulder and is carrying him back to the ring! Kaos throws Angle into the ring and he climbs to the top rope…flying clothesline! He almost took Angle's head off! He hooks the leg…1…2…kickout by Angle! Angle back to his feet and got caught with a clothesline! He hits off the ropes…Jevona caught his ankle! Kaos has Jevona by the hair…Kurt is back to his feet and he hits a beautiful German Suplex on Kaos! 1…2…3!!!! No! I thought he had him! Kurt thought he had him! Angle picks him back up…Angle Plex!!!! 1…2…kickout by Kaos!!!! It was a miracle that he kicked out of that. Angle back to his feet and he's stomping away on him! Again with the stomp! Angle scoops him up and slams him hard to the canvas! Kurt climbs to the top rope…moonsault press! There's the count…1…2…Kaos got the Shoulder up!!!! Kurt is mad! He's gotta be frustrated that he can't get the win over Kaos! Kaos is proving to the World that his win over Angle at Sin City wasn't a fluke.

DD: If you were smart enough to know how dumb you really are you would still be an idiot! Angle has 3 I's. Intensity, integrity and intelligence! Kaos doesn't have 3 I's but he's got 4 chins! He's a fat slob, Angle is in better conditioning and he's gonna win and he's gonna be the #1 Contender for the World Title.

VJ: Angle is up in the ref's face…Kaos is back to his feet…he tries for a big boot but KO'd the referee! Olympic Slam!!! This match is over!!!

DD: What the hell is that thing up on the Panthertron???!

VJ: That's that puppeteer thing from the Godfather movies! The lights are starting to flicker!

DD: Oh God the Dead have risen and they will kill us all! Especially you Vince!

VJ: That's the Godfather! What's he doing out here?! He's got a steel chair and he climbs into the ring…he just blasted Kurt Angle!!! Kurt Angle is out like a light! He wakes up the referee and he's leaving! I can't believe that that just happened!

DD: That guy had so much class…why did he throw it away by messing with the Dynasty?! Why?

VJ: Kaos pulls himself over to Angle and throws an arm across him…1…2…3!!!

DD: No!!!!!

VJ: Yes!!!!! Kaos looked like he had lost this match but thanks to the Godfather that didn't happen! Kurt Angle is back up to his feet and he's headed to the back to look for the Godfather!

VJ: Well up next, we've got a 2 fall Triple Threat Match for the TV and X-Treme Titles! It's Rodney Demp going up against Bad Influence and Kaos! Stay with us as FNS continues!

Chyna: Hey Mick. I just wanna let you know that even though I'm with the Dynasty and we haven't seen eye to eye all of the time, I just wanna tell you that you were a great Commish and we're all really gonna miss you.

Commish: Thanks Chyna. You know what, tonight when I'm beating your buddy Panther's brains in…I'll remember what you said to me. (Wipes a tear from his eye) Can I have a hug?

Chyna: Uh…(smiles) ok.

VJ: It's Prez Panther from behind with a chair! Look out Mick!!!! OH!!!! Foley saw it coming and moved Chyna in the way of the chairshot! Prez Panther just KO'd Chyna! He's checking on her…Foley just put the Mandible Claw on Prez Panther! I can't believe I just said that! The Commissioner of the NFWA has just laid out the Prez!

DD: Thank God he's leaving, cuz he's out of control!

Commish: That was a nice try Prez, but tonight, whether you like it or not I'm gonna be the one who picks my replacement! Now you 2 have a nice day!

DD: Actually that's the Japanese Announce table you ignorant bastard!

VJ: I thought this fed had a business deal with China.

DD: Yeah, but that all changed. Prez Panther hates China now.

VJ: For some reason I find that hard to believe. Now Kaos is back to his feet…OH!!!! Chairshot right to the floor! He had to shatter his brains! Cover…1…2…kickout by Kaos! Clothesline by B.I. sends Kaos into the crowd! B.I. picks that chair back up and climbs to the ring apron with that chair…he dives off and nails Demp right in the head with it! Cover…1…2…kickout by Demp! Kaos climbs up on the guardrail…he's about to jump over…OH! B.I. threw that chair right at his head! Kaos is hurt and B.I. grabs him…OH! Jackknife through the Siberian Announcer's table!!!! OH! Demp just jabbed B.I. with a fork! Flowing DDT on that steel chair! He hooks the leg…1…2…3!!!

VJ: Demp gets the win over B.I. so now we're into the 2^nd fall! Demp makes another cover on B.I.! We're gonna have a new TV Champion! 1…2…NO!!!! Brad Patterson just crawled out from underneath the ring and pulled Demp off of the pin!!! He just got robbed!

DD: Actually no he didn't, the regular ref is just an idiot! The 2^nd fall isn't a falls count anywhere match!

VJ: He's staring a hole through Patterson! Demp is chasing him with a steel chair! He's running up the ramp and he's calling for help! The referee has left ringside and he's going to help Head Referee Patterson!!!! I can't believe that! Back at ringside we've got Kaos and B.I. trading blows in the ring! Irish whip by Kaos…reversal by B.I. sends him to the ropes…B.I. ducked the head and he's caught in position for what could be Kaos' Ticking Time Bomb…low blow by B.I. and he took his head off with that superkick! B.I. is ready to finish this one off it looks like… Demp is banging Patterson's head against the structure that holds up the Panthertron and the referee is trying to stop…what the hell is going on???? That's Rich Richman!!! Rich Richman just nailed B.I. with that steel chairshot! Kaos is back to his feet and he picks up B.I….there's the Ticking Time Bomb!!! Richman runs up the stage and grabs the ref…he sends him back to the ring…1…2…3!!! No!!!!

DD: Look at that! I told you that damn Kaos is a shady character! This is the 2^nd match that he won on interference tonight!

VJ: Why did Richman attack B.I.? B.I. is back up and he's mad as hell! I just hope that he doesn't catch up with Rich Richman here tonight!

Kurt: Who is this Godfather character?! I demand to know Prez! He cost me my shot to be a World Champion!

Prez: You're in the tournament Kurt, and I just got Foley's disgusting hand put in my mouth so I've got more important things to deal with than that. I've seen he scratch his ass before and I'm not even gonna think about where else that damn thing has been. He could've given me rabies or something like that!!!

Downcast: Look, I'm about to go win the I-C Title AGAIN! Now you guys listen, I've seen people interfere in Kaos' matches both times, and you know that he's friends with Bruiser so they're gonna try everything that they can to take us out. I need you guys to watch my back. Can you do that?

Kurt: Only if I get the 1^st Title shot when you win.

Downcast: Um…sure Kurt! No doubt. Sniper, Panther, Chyna, are you guys gonna watch my back.

Sniper: If you need us.

Prez: I don't know about Sniper and Chyna but I don't feel too good tonight. I think that Mandible Claw gave me malaria. I'll be there in spirit man.

Downcast: Ok Prez. Ladies, let's go.

VJ: It's Downcast and Rick Bruiser and we will finally crown a new I-C Champion! Stay with us!

Siege: Get up pretty boy! You like to attack us, huh? You wanna try and make us lose? Well boy, if you want me to lose a match then why don't you fight me like a man. Me and you on Gear, and if you think getting hit by a car is bad, you ain't seen nothing yet! Come on Demp!

VJ: Downcast is backing up from Bruiser and…he's hiding behind the ladies! He deserves to go to jail after what he did to Leena earlier on! Bruiser crawls through Trish Stratus' legs and grabs Downcast!!!

DD: That pervert!

VJ: Trish just slapped Bruiser in the face! Bruiser has Trish by the throat and Downcast headbutts him down there! Downcast hurt his head when he did that and it didn't phase Bruiser!

DD: That guy Bruiser must have Titanium Testes!

VJ: And I'm sure that you would like to go in there and find out! That's how you people from Delaware are, you know! Bruiser was wearing a steel cup! He just pulled it out and he raised it into the air…Leena blasted him with a low blow and he went down faster than the Titanic! Now Downcast should be DQ'd for that! He clears the womenfolk from the ring and he's putting the boots to Rick Bruiser. He picks him back up…he rope burns his face on the top rope! Downcast with a strong right hand to the nose sends Bruiser back to the buckle where Downcast is putting the boots to his midsection! Whoa! Bruiser grabs his foot and spins Downcast around! He has him by the throat and damn near chokeslammed him through the mat! He makes the cover…1…2…kickout by Downcast! Downcast gets back to his feet and charges at Bruiser but caught a reverse elbow…he charges again and this time he caught a right hand to the mouth! Downcast charges a 3^rd time…spinebuster by Bruiser! 1…2…kickout! Downcast quickly rolls to the arena floor like the coward that he is…Bruiser has him by the hair but Downcast tripped the ankle. He drags Bruiser over to the ringpost and rams his leg into the post! He's trying to break it….he did it again!

DD: That's not a coward, that's somebody who's smart. You see, that beastly Shyanne tried to bully Downcast around earlier on so he thought of the perfect plan and sent that big bully to the hospital!

VJ: Damn it, Shyanne is only 5'9" and 135 pounds! How could she in anyway bully somebody like Downcast?! He deserves to go to hell for what he's done to that poor young lady here tonight. Downcast back in the ring distracting the referee while Trish and Jevona rake away at the eyes of Bruiser! Downcast is nothing but a cheater. Downcast walks back over to the corner and is choking him with his boot. Downcast with right hands to the forehead of Bruiser and he drags him out to the center of the ring…figure 4 leglock!!!! Downcast is trying to snap the leg of Rick Bruiser…Bruiser is trying to reach the ropes! Can he make it?

DD: No, it's impossible! He just gave up! Downcast is the new champion! Give me that belt, timekeeper!!!

VJ: SIT YOUR DUMB ASS DOWN!!!! He didn't submit! Bruiser is trying to reverse the hold…he's turning Downcast…Downcast is trying to fight it but Bruiser is too strong! He reversed the hold and now all of the pressure is on Downcast's knee so Downcast breaks the hold! Downcast is back to his feet before Bruiser and both men are limping…Downcast went for a clothesline that missed…HOT SHOT!!!!!! Bruiser just put Downcast down with the Hot Shot but can he get up to make the cover…Trish is up on the ring and she's flaunting her assets…Bruiser has the match won and Leena is in the ring raking his eyes! Bruiser grabs Leena by the hair…there's the Leena Cutter…no Bruiser shoves her into the referee who went into Trish and knocked her off of the ring apron! The ref goes to the floor to check on Trish…there's the Ripper on Leena! Downcast with a spear!!!! Downcast just nailed the spear and now he hooks Bruiser up…Total Dispear!!! The ref is on the floor and damn it Rich Richman is back! Richman is in the ring with that steel chair and he blasted Downcast in the back of the head!!!! Downcast is down and Richman sends the referee back to the ring…he runs back in…Bruiser puts his arm on top of Downcast…1…2…damn it! Jevona just pulled Bruiser to the floor! She hooks him up for Total Dispear…Bruiser lifts her up and puts her on his knee…Rick Bruiser is spanking Jevona. Dave is smiling about that for some reason. The ref jumps to the floor and is arguing with Jevona about breaking up that pin…Siege and Demp just came through the crowd…Takeover on Bruiser!!!! I thought that they left! Demp pulls Downcast on top of Downcast…the ref looks back into the ring…1…2…Rich Richman pulls the ref out of the ring! The Elites just attacked Rich Richman on the floor! Here comes Kaos out here now and damn it he just attacked Siege!!! Rich Richman and Kaos are battling the Elites on the floor while both Downcast and Bruiser are down in the ring…it's Team Hardcore!!!! B.I. and Reckless Youth are out here and they're tearing into Rich Richman and Kaos…and the Elites!!! We've got total carnage on the floor…Kurt Angle and Jaguar are out here to help out Downcast…the brawl is spilling into the ring!!!!! They're fighting in the ring…Bruiser just went after Siege and Downcast went after Richman…the ref has lost total control…here comes the Godfather back out here!!!! I can't believe that…

DD: Draw my ass! You know that Downcast had the title won!

VJ: It didn't look like that to me. But we've still got that big brawl going on in the ring…but more important than that we still have no I-C Champion!!! I can't believe this…good God look at B.I.!!! He's trying to kill Richman for costing him the TV Title earlier tonight! Ladies and gentlemen…this is great! Here come the police! Ladies and Gentlemen we're gonna take a commercial break while the Police take care of this…oh they're coming over here!

DD: He was smuggling crack into the arena and somebody stooged him off. Stop looking at me like that.

VJ: Well the entire Dynasty was arrested after that brawl so how is Prez Panther gonna be able to get out of this one if he gets in trouble?

Prez: Ladies and Gentlemen…I have tragic news for all of you. Right here tonight…I was given the Mandible Claw by that freak Commish Foley. And I've been feeling really bad since that happened. So you know I talked to Chyna…who's actually got a medical degree and is a certified doctor…

VJ: She is not!

DD: You calling the Prez a liar?!

VJ: Um…not at all.

Prez: …so I talked to Chyna and she has informed me that my worst fears have come true…thanks to that Mandible Claw earlier on…I have been diagnosed with the ebola virus!

VJ: That lying son of a bitch!!!!!!

DD: Watch your mouth, hussy!

Prez: So Foley…man you win, so just come out here and make your little announcement about the new Commish and I'll just leave you alone.

Commish: Well Prez…I always knew that my hands were deadly weapons but I'm sorry to say that I didn't know that they were that deadly. Well I feel your pain…and well…I always kinda liked pain so I guy that I like yours too!

DD: Jerk!

Commish: Now, as far as my replacement…he is the one…the only…

VJ: Prez Panther tried to attack him from behind but Foley saw it coming again!

VJ: This match is underway and Prez is in the Mandible Claw again…low blow by Prez Panther! Clothesline knocks Foley to the floor! Foley gets back up…Sniper took a shot at Foley but he's in the Mandible Claw now!

DD: Oh great, now he's got ebola!

VJ: Chyna tried to help Sniper but he locks the Mandible Claw in on her too!

DD: Ebola in stereo! Somebody really needs to quarantine that faggot Foley! He's worse than that little monkey from Outbreak!

VJ: Shut up you idiot! Prez Panther is on the top rope…OH! Corkscrew Plancha just nailed Foley! Prez looks mad! He throws Foley back into the ring…he's measuring for something…Foley gets back up and falls victim to the Panther Cutter! We know what that's the setup for! Panther is being arrogant and cocky, as usual when he wrestles and he's mouthing off to the fans…he picks Foley back up and he's about to go for Da Bomb…Foley with a back body drop…Mandible Claw on Panther!!! It's all over! No, Chyna has the referee distracted…that's Firestorm from the crowd…he picks Foley up by the throat…the Big Time!!! Prez Panther looks like he's about to throw up! Firestorm picks the Prez back up and rolls to the floor…Chyna gets down from the apron…Panther looks like he's gonna go for Da Bomb again…no…1 finger on the chest of Foley…1…2…3!!!

VJ: Damn that lousy son of a bitch!!! Prez Panther has just stolen this match from Commish Foley with the help of Firestorm, so that means he chooses the new Commish! Sniper is back in the ring and he just pulled something out of a bag…Prez Panther has the mic again!

Prez: Whoo! There you have it, once again the almighty Champion of Champions comes out on top without even breaking a sweat! Foley, you put up a good fight! You really did, now get your fat ass out of the ring cuz you don't work here anymore! Now ladies and gentlemen, without further adieux…your new NFWA Commissioner…the one…the only…FIRESTORM!!!!!! There you have it, he's the new commish, this, like always went the Dynasty's way, so to each and every last one of you loving fans out there, I just have 4 words for ya…HAVE A NICE DAY!!!!

VJ: Firestorm is the commish?! Oh my God! What does that mean for the NFWA????!