DD: (Laughs) Listen you piss drinking jackoff, it's bad enough I didn't get a chance to go on the Cancun trip! I had to spend the last 3 weeks here while the rest of you Yankee-ass bastards ran around on the beach making fools outta yourselves, but at least I was at home in Delaware instead of a low budget, $2, backwater pisshole like Indiana! This is almost as bad as Canada!

VJ: Geez…I really missed you Dave. Asshole. Ladies and gentlemen…as good as it is to be back on the USA Network this week…we have some tragic news. Many of you who joined us for the PPV saw the Mile High Match between the Extremist and Rage…a match that ended with both men tumbling out of the plane. The Extremist survived and will be here in action tonight against Ice Cube and Big Foot for the World Heavyweight Title…but unfortunately we cannot say the same for Rage…whose body was found on the beach in Ocean City, MD just a little over a week ago. We send out condolences out to the family and friends of Rage, and tonight's edition of FNS is dedicated to his memory.

DD: Yeah. Rage was a good friend of mine…he was a great wrestler and it's just tragic to see his life ended in such a way.

VJ: By the way…tonight Rage we will be holding a funeral for Rage. We have tons of action here tonight, let's get you started with…OHHHHHH!!!!

Panther: You know what…I'm really not in the mood for this bullsh*t. (Crowd boos louder) Yeah. The NFWA is fresh off of a 2 week break in Cancun…and I've had 2 weeks to think about this…the Dynasty has had 2 long weeks…and damn it has been the longest 2 weeks of my life. May 6, 2001…the Dynasty lost a teammate. The NFWA lost one of the best damn wrestlers we've ever had. The world lost…(looks like he's holding back tears) one of the finest human beings. And most of all…we all lost a friend. Now incase you haven't figured it out, I'm talking about Rage, and I don't give a damn if you cheer me, if you boo me, I don't give a damn about you people anyway. All that I know is that tonight…Rage, if you can hear me up there…we're dedicating this night to you! Rest in Peace my friend!

VJ: That's a real classy move by Panther.

DD: Yeah…well he's a real classy guy…(wipes a tear from his eye).

Panther: Now…yeah Rage will be missed terribly…but while I'm out here I might as well talk about something else I saw go down at the PPV. Ya know…as a matter of fact, I can't even explain it! You people are gonna have to see this for yourselves! Tech katz…roll the footage!

DD: What's he talking about, Vince?

VJ: He hit hard off the buckle…Ice Cube…ICE BREAKER!!!!!! He hit the Ice Breaker!!! Right on the jaw!!!!!! Lightning is down…1…2…3!!!!!!!! We have a new World Champion!!!!!

VJ: This crowd is not liking this at all! Ice Cube has just defeated Lightning for the World Title…Downcast, the brand new TV Champion from behind just nailed the New World Champion from behind! Downcast has Ice Cube down and he's hammering away with hard right hands to the back of the head! And look in the aisle! Squirrel, Firestorm and Tina! This is an obvious…is Downcast in cahoots…

DD: Does it matter?! All that matters is that somebody is in the ring getting their ass beat!

VJ: Ice Cube is being triple teamed by the Dynasty and Downcast in the ring…The Perfect Thrillas are on there way out to help the new Champion!!!! Havok just hit the ring and he and Downcast are picking up right where they left off earlier on!!!!! Shane Cross is hammering away with right hands to the head of Squirrel! Krazed and Tina…

DD: C'mon Krazed! She's your ex-girlfriend!

VJ: Krazed…Tina tries for a right hand but she's caught…SUPERNOVA ON TINA!!!!!!!

DD: You idiot!!!!!! Where the hell are the police now?!

VJ: We've got Big Foot out here now…Lightning just climbed back into the ring with 2 chairs…OH!!!!! Chairshot to the head of Downcast…there's one to the head of Shane Cross! Big Foot is trying to pick up that other chair…Ice Cube with a thumb to the eyes…he snatches the chair and blasts him right in the head!!!

DD: DAMN! Did you hear that shot?!

VJ: Ice Cube and Lightning had chairs…they're tearing into everybody in that ring--ICE CUBE JUST HIT KRAZED!!!!!!

DD: WHAT?!

VJ: Ice Cube just hit Krazed!!! Lightning with a shot to Havok!!! Squirrel catches a shot from Ice Cube…Big Foot is trying to get back to his feet…Ice Cube is measuring him for a shot…OHHHHH MYYYYY GOOOOOOD!!!!!!! OH MY….DAMN IT DID YOU SEE THAT?!

DD: What the hell just happened Vince?!

VJ: Lightning just blasted Big Foot right in the back of the head with that steel chair!!!! Big Foot…he's out…why the hell did Lightning…Ice Cube with a shot right ro the head of Big Foot!!! Lightning and Ice Cube have basically cleared the ring…they've left bodies lying…and Firestorm is in the ring…Firestorm…LIGHTNING AND ICE CUBE WITH A DOUBLE CHAIRSHOT TO THE PREZ!!!!!!!! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?!

DD: I don't get this, Vince!!!

VJ: Lightning and Ice Cube have taken out just about everyone in the ring…Lightning just picked up the World Title belt…I think he's snapped! Lightning has snapped after losing the belt…HE HANDED IT TO ICE CUBE!!!! Lightning…he just handed the belt to Ice Cube and now he's walking to the back…Ice Cube is walking to the back too! The Dynasty, the Thrillas, Downcast, Big Foot! They have all been KO'd! Can somebody please tell me what the hell just happened here?!

VJ: That's not how I remember it.

DD: Shut up and let the CEO speak!

Panther: I know you're still heartbroken over the fact that Tina left you and went on to become a superstar while your career sank faster than the Titanic. And as hard as it is for your ugly ass to get a girl in the first place…I know she's caused you a lot of sexual frustration too! But Krazed let me tell you this…I don't care about who you are, I don't care about how long you've been in the NFWA, how many titles you've won…NOBODY…and I damn sure mean NOBODY puts there hands on Tina and lives!!!!! (crowd boos in the background) Now it's bad enough that you had an ass whooping coming your way courtesy of Squirrel, but you know something, you had better grow some eyes in the back of your damn head, cuz I guarantee you that the Dynasty is gonna get a hold of your punk ass, and I've got a funny feeling that another NFWA superstar will be leaving here tonight in a bodybag.

Panther: And now what I'm sure is on everybody's mind here tonight…"Why Lightning Why?" What's the deal with Lightning and Ice Cube? Are they in cahoots? (Chuckles) Well ya know something, I am one of…hell, I am THE most brilliant mind in the history of sports-entertainment! (Crowd boos) I'm the man with all the answers. I know this business inside and out. But as smart as I am, even I'm confused about this whole thing between Lightning and Ice Cube. But if answers are what you people want, then answers are what you'll get, cuz as soon as Lightning and Ice Cube get here, I'm calling their asses out! If I have to drag both of em out here kicking and screaming then that's what I'll do, but rest assured they will be here tonight, and you people will get all your answers and then some. But ya know what…whether they're friends, their enemies, boyfriend and girlfriend, there ain't a damn thing that either of em could do to keep things around here from going the Dynasty's way! And we ALL know why that is, right?

Chyna: CUZ THERE CAN'T BE ANY OTHER WAY!!!!

DD: What about that, Vince?!

VJ: Panther is promising to call Ice Cube and Lightning out here tonight and he says he's gonna get the answers out of them. He's gonna find out if they're in cahoots or not!

DD: If anybody can do it, it has to be the most brilliant mind in the biz today, Panther! He's great!

VJ: Ya know, 2 weeks wouldn't be long enough to get the taste of corporate ass out of your mouth.

DD: Yo momma!

Blaze: HEY! What the hell is your problem?!

Money: Why don't you tell your bitch to watch where she's going? (laughs)

Blaze: Look damn it, I've been putting up with you all damn week and I'm sick of it! We're in a battle royal in a little bit, but we don't have to wait for the damn thing! I could beat your sorry ass right here…

Money: Whoa! Whoa! Calm down! I didn't mean nothing by it!

Blaze: Yeah right!

Money: C'mon! We don't need no backstage violence here tonight! Just chill. The battle royal is next…if you wanna fight me then…it's all good but for now just try to calm down. Be peaceful! Will ya?!

Blaze: (Let's go of Money) Alright. I'll see you in the ring!

DD: HAHA!! Did you see that, Vince!

VJ: Kid Money with a heinous assault from behind!! Stop it!!!

DD: I like this guy Money guy, Vince! He's great!

VJ: Kid Money is putting the boots to the head of Blaze. We've got officials back there to try and break this fight up…hey wait…wait…OH NO!!! MILLION DOLLAR DREAM ON BLAZE BY KID MONEY!!!!! Money has just slapped on the Million Dollar Dream! Blaze is busted wide open and now he's being put out by this no good son of a bitch Kid Money!!

DD: HAHAHAHA! He keeps this up and he'll go a long way here in the NFWA!

VJ: Oh my God. Finally these officials have been able to pull Money off of Blaze, but the damage has already been done! Ladies and gentlemen…don't go away! The newcomer battle royal is next!

KT: Blade! Blade, may I have a word with you?

Blade: No, I have things to do!

KT: But plea ..

Blade: I said no! But, I will tell you this. There's a champion that better watch his back sometime tonight .. Becuase Blade is coming to get him!

DD: What the hell is that idiot talking about?!

VJ: I don't know? Ice Cube maybe?

DD: It looks to me like Blaze and Money are anxious to kill each other here tonight! Look at em go!

VJ: These 2 men have been at each other's throats all week long and Money just added more fuel to the fire with that backstage attack on…DAMN!!! Kid Money headfirst into the ringpost!!!! Blaze has him by the hair and he's pounding the living hell outta Kid Money!! What a fight we've got on the outside of the ring! Blaze has Money by the hair and he tosses him back into the ring! OH NO! Turner caught Blaze with a boot to the head!

DD: HAHA! Good! What the hell is this idiot Blaze all wound up for anyway?

VJ: Well damn it, if someone tripped my girlfriend and then attacked me, I'd be pissed too!

DD: Vince, please. Like anybody would really waste their time trying to trip your inflatable bitch! Shut up and call the match!

VJ: Idiot. Turner has Blaze backed into the buckle and he's strangling him with his boot. On the other side of the ring we have James Johnson and Aero going at it. We know Johnson can do well in these battle royals. He won the loser's bracket battle royal in Cancun and went onto the 2^nd RD in the King of the Beach tourney a little over a week ago--OH MY GOD!!! What a shot by Kid Money on Chuck Steele!!! Steele just staggered over to the ropes…Bud Brody with a clothesline floors Money! Brody charges in…WHOA!!!!!!! Both Brody and Steele over the top! They're both gone! Which one of these men is gonna walk out with the victory here?!

DD: I don't know, but I'm willing to bet you a nickel it won't be Blaze!

VJ: No thanks.

DD: Ok, ok. 2 nickels.

VJ: I don't gamble, Dave!

DD: Aww…pussy!

VJ: Stop it!!!! Johnson has Aero up…Johnson is trying to dump Aero up over the top rope…will he get him?! Will he…

DD: What in the world?! Look at that Vince!!!!

VJ: KAMMY!!!! KAMMY JUST TOSSED OUT BOTH AERO AND JOHNSON!!!! Can you believe that Dave?!

DD: HAHA! 2 men just got tossed out by…by a girl!!

VJ: Kammy…she shouldn't be in there…OH NO!!! Justice Pain just drilled Kammy with a clothesline and he's putting the boots to her! This isn't right! She's a woman damn it!

DD: Bitch has no business being in a man's world!

VJ: You're hideous! Pain has Kammy up…he's about to toss her over to the floor…Blaze just explodes across the ring and nails Pain with a spear!!!! Blaze is all over Justice Pain with hard right hands! Justice Pain is in some serious trouble..oh! Kid Money from behind with a boot to the head of Blaze!!!

DD: Dumbass! He should've learned by now that you don't turn your back on Kid Money!

VJ: Blaze is down…Kid Money picks Kammy up off the canvas. Whose bright idea was it to put a woman in here with all of these men anyway?!

DD: Panther's.

VJ: Oh…good idea. Kid Money has her by the hair and he tosses her up and over the top rope!!! Kammy has been eliminated and we're down to Blaze, Money, Pain, Neep…what the hell kinda name is Neep anyway?!

DD: I dunno. I think it's Swedish.

VJ: Maybe. And Mayhem is in there too! OH! He just floored Kid Money with a hard right hand! It looks like they kinda forgot about Mayhem for a second! Mayhem has Money up…Irish whips sends him into the ropes…HARD POWERSLAM!!!! Kid Money has just been drilled…Neep from behind with a bulldog on Mayhem!!! He just planted him facefirs into the canvas. Back in the corner Justice Pain is driving that boot into the throat of Blaze…and they're friends! Pain has Blaze up…he drops him throatfirst on the top rope! Neep Turner has Mayhem up now…he misses with a clothesline…Mayhem with a hard clothesline sends him flying over the top!!!! Neep is gone! And Dave doesn't look happy about that! From behind Kid Money drives a hard knee to the back of Mayhem…he's outta there! We're down to 3!!

DD: Yeah! Now if Justice Pain was smart, he'd make a deal with Kid Money and they could team up to take out Blaze!

VJ: What do you have against Blaze?!

DD: He's a piece of crap!

VJ: You don’t even know him!

DD: Well he smells like a piece of crap anyway! He deserves to burn in hell!

VJ: You're something else. Justice Pain with an Irish whip sends Blaze into the ropes…he catches him in the jaw with a reverse elbow! Blaze hits off the ropes and nails him with tremendous leg drop!! Justice Pain is on fire…and now Kid Money is trying to talk some kinda strategy with him…

DD: HAHA! He just gave him the finger!!!

VJ: Oh Lord! OH LORD!!!!! What a hard right hand by Pain to the face of Kid Money! My God he almost sent his head flying into the front row with that shot!!! He has him by the hair…Irish whip sends him into the buckle…Pain with a hard clothesline!!!! Kid Money is in some trouble right now! Pain with another Irish whip sends Money to the opposite buckle!!! He's signaling to the crowd for something…here he comes again…

DD: Look out, Kid…OH!!!

VJ: Money moved! Pain went for another clothesline and Money was able to move out of the way…Blaze from behind with an elbow to the back of the head…Money with a back drop and Justice Pain is gone!!! We're down to 2! Kid Money and Blaze! This is what these 2 men wanted! Look at that look of intensity in the eyes of Blaze!

DD: Look of intensity my ass! That's fear!

VJ: Will you stop?!

DD: He's scared to death because he knows that he is no match for the almighty Kid Money…OH NO!!!!

VJ: Blaze with a boot to the midsection of Money! He backs him into the buckle and is firing away with hard right hands to the brain!

DD: No! Not the brain!

VJ: Blaze with an Irish whip sends Money back into that buckle! He charges in…Money got the boot up but Blaze saw it coming! Blaze caught the boot of Kid Money…he has the other leg now…

DD: Oh no! this isn't good Vince!

VJ: Blaze has Money…OH MY!!! He yanks him out of the corner by his legs! Almost a powerbomb right in the center of the ring…Blaze has Money set up for what looks like slingshot…YES!!!! Blaze just sent Kid Money headfirst into the ringpost! My God! Money is out like a light!

DD: Damn it! Wait…(reaches in his pocket a pulls out 3 blunt) maybe if…

VJ: (Snatches the blunts and breaks them all in half)

DD: YOU IDIOT!!! WHAT THE HELL IS…THAT'S MY GOOD SH*T!!!!!!

VJ: Blaze has Money by the hair…this one is fixing to be over! Blaze has Money…and he tosses him ov--NO!!! Money puts on the breaks…low blow!!!

DD: HAHA! That's the way ya do it…MILLION DOLLAR DREAM!!!!!

VJ: Oh my goodness! Kid Money has it locked on again! He has in cinched in!

DD: he's about to put Blaze's bitch ass to sleep! I love it!

VJ: Blaze is in deep, deep trouble here!

DD: Yes!!! This is the end of Blaze right here! Right here baby…what?!

VJ: Money just broke the hold!

DD: Why the hell did he do that?! He had him beat!

VJ: This is a battle royal! You can't win a battle royal with a submission hold. But I think Money had it locked in long enough. Blaze hardly even knows where he is.

DD: I know where he's gonna be in a second!

VJ: Kid Money has him by the hair…he's getting ready to toss him up and over the top rope! This is gonna be the end right…OH!!!!!! Low blow by Blaze!!! Low blow by Blaze! Blaze has Money by the hair…HE'S GONE!!!! KID MONEY HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!!!!!!!

DD: NOOOOOOOOO!!!!

VJ: Blaze has just pulled out a victory in this newcomer battle royal and look at the look on Money's face! He can't believe it!

DD: I can't believe it! What a damn cheater this idiot Blaze is!

VJ: He won fair and square…uh oh! Kid Money just grabbed a steel chair!

DD: Look out Vince! He's gonna kill somebody!

VJ: Money is sneaking up behind Blaze…OH!!!! He tattooed him with that chairshot!!!! The match is over damn it! The match is over…OH NO!!! Another one to the head sends Blaze to the canvas! Kid Money is beating the hell out of Blaze with that steel chair! Somebody stop this man!!! He's psychotic!

DD: He's great!

VJ: We've got officials out here…damn it he hit him again! Right in the ribs! The officials have Money again and they're having to drag him out of the ring! My God…what is his problem?!

DD: I like him! He can smoke my blunts anytime!

VJ: (Looking at Dave funny)

DD: What?!

VJ: Well ladies and gentlemen, as you can see, Panther is waiting for the arrival of Ice Cube and Lightning. Are they in cahoots or not?! Panther says we'll find out later tonight!

DD: Yeah! But up next we've got T&A!!!!!!!!

VJ: Up next it's a chain match! Tina goes one on one with Mandy. Don't go away, we'll be back with more FNS!!!

DD: I think I want a piece of Mandy too! Look at that outfit!

VJ: Mandy on her way down to the ring…Tina is ready for her…

DD: Wait! Turn around, Tina! Turn around!!!

VJ: OH!!!!! Diamond from behind with a chairshot to the back of the head of Tina and she goes flying to the outside!!!! Tina…Diamond just knocked her brains in!!!!

DD: She cannot do that, Vince! Disqualify that little hussy!

VJ: Mandy has Tina by the hair…Tina goes hard into the steel steps!! She has her again…Tina goes flying into the ringpost!!!! Mandy has her again…she just tossed Tina over the barricade and right into the front row!!!!

DD: No fair!! That little slut…she just violated Tina!!!

DD: That little heathen!

VJ: This all started a few weeks ago when Mandy used a steel chain to choke Tina out in the locker room area. Trish is trying to keep them separated…

DD: Yeah, the match doesn't start til you put the chain on! Make her put on the chain!

VJ: Tina tossed the chain to Trish and Trish is putting the chain around the wrist of Mandy. Mandy wants to get this thing started in the worst way. She wants a piece of Tina bad! The chain is on Mandy…oh wait just a minute!!!

VJ: Tina from behind with a clothesline on Mandy!! What the hell?!

DD: What guts and determination on the part of young Tina!

VJ: She jumped her before the bell! Tina doesn’t even have the chain on! Look at this…Tina is beating the hell out of Mandy in there! Trish is trying to make Tina put the chain on…OH!!! She just shoved Trish on her ass!

DD: HAHA! And what an ass it is…OH NO! Wait!

VJ: Mandy just wrapped that chain around the throat of Tina!!!! Mandy is choking Tina out again!!!!

DD: This is no fair, Vince!

VJ: Tina…she just backed Mandy into the buckle and the chokehold is broken! Mandy caught Tina by surprise there…OH!!!! Hard chain shot to the back of Tina! And another!!! And another!! And another sends Tina to the mat! Mandy is taking it to the self-proclaimed "Baddest Chick" in wrestling!!

DD: Damn it, Trish! Get of your nice…soft…pretty ass and do something about this!

VJ: Mandy is whipping the hell out of Tina…Trish is back up and she's telling Mandy to calm down so that she can…OH!!!!! Oh my!!! Mandy just swung that chain and accidentally hit Trish in the face with that chair.

DD: Oh no! I think…I think Trish took that shot right in the eye.

VJ: Trish is hurt badly in the ring. Mandy is over there to check on Tina…wait a minute! Do you see…

DD: It's another Tina!!!

VJ: 2 Tina's?! Wait…no! That's her sister Chyna wearing a red wig! She looks just like Tina…and Mandy doesn't see her coming!!! Mandy…look out!! Turn around…NO!!! Chyna has Mandy by the hair…INVERTED DDT!!!!!!! Did you see her head snap off the mat?!

DD: Yeah! What a move by Tina!

VJ: That's Chyna and you know it is!!! Chyna just put the chain on her wrist…she makes the cover on Mandy!! Trish is starting to get up…don't let it end like this! No!! 1…2…3!!!!! No!!!!!!!!

DD: HAHAHA! What a win by the lovely Tina!!!

VJ: This is the biggest sack of horse sh*t I've ever seen! How in the hell…Chyna and Tina have just stolen this match from Mandy!!!

DD: This is the greatest moment in the history of Women's wrestling! Look at this!

VJ: Oh no!! Tina and Chyna are going face to face…they've got Mandy now! The match is over! C'mon! Stop this!!! Stop…NO!!!!

DD: HAHA! What goes around comes around!!!

VJ: Those 2 women just wrapped that chain around the throat of Mandy!!! Mandy is being choked out by both of em! Oh my God they're gonna rip her head off with that chain!!!

DD: It's like Panther said! Things around here are always going the Dynasty's way…look out!

VJ: Wait! Here comes Diamond! Diamond hits the ring with a chair…OH! She just nailed Tina right in the head! And the Chyna bails out! Diamond has come to the aid of Mandy. Mandy has been royally screwed here tonight by the Dynasty! This is disgusting!!!

RS: Guys, Danger Ground wasn't a good night for the Natural Born Thrillas. As we saw earlier on, the new World Champion Ice Cube turned his back on you guys…and to top it off, Downcast defeated Johnny Havok for the TV Title…

Havok: (Punches a hole in the wall) Rosie!!!!!! Let me say this for you…for Downcast…for the whole world! I DID NOT LOSE THE TV TITLE AT DANGER GROUND! DOWNCAST DID NOT BEAT ME AT THE PPV! HE HAS NEVER BEATEN ME!

RS: Um…but we saw…

Havok: I don't care what you saw! Downcast didn't beat me! He simply stole the title from me! But…

Cross: Hey! Johnny…don't even worry about Downcast! Cuz tonight I've got a feeling that he and his worthless career will both go up…in…smoke! HAHA!

Havok: You know…I'm not worried about Downcast cuz I know you'll kick his ass tonight! But Rosie…as bad as Cross is gonna beat Downcast tonight…what I do to him when I get my hands on him…well let's just say you will know why they call me the Canadian Career Killer!

VJ: Johnny Havok is intense, but up next we've got Freak going one on one with Staks! And what will happen when Ice Cube and Lightning arrive?! Will we get our answers tonight?!

Ice Cube: Kid Money!!!!

Money: Yo…you know people are looking for you, right?!

Ice Cube: I don't give a damn. People are always looking for me for some kinda sh*t! But I'm glad to see you. I saw your match earlier on…and I apologize!

Money: For what?!

Ice Cube: For dissing you earlier in the week. I was wrong to say the stuff I said to you.

Money: Damn right you were wrong.

Ice Cube: I know. That's what I just said. I'm sorry.

Money: Damn right you are. Let's go Babe. (Grabs the Million Dollar Babe by the arm and prepares to leave)

Ice Cube: Oh wait! Wait! I forgot to tell you one thing!

Money: (Stops and turns) And what's that?!

VJ: OH!!! Ice Cube just blasted Kid Money right in the face with an Ice Breaker! Kid Money is down! Kid Money is down!

DD: Damn it!!

Ice Cube: Look! I don’t like Trash Talking rookies. I don't give a fuck what you did in any other feds because this is the NFuckingWA..And now..YOU'RE IN MY HOUSE!!!

DD: Oh my God! Can you believe what Ice Cube just did?!

VJ: Kid Money is gonna be pissed off when he wakes! The World Champion is here…now where is Lightning?! Will we get the answers tonight?!

DD: Shut up! Staks is trying to beat the hell outta Freak! And he's doing a damn good job…OH! Well…he was doing a good job!

VJ: Freak with one huge blow just knocked Staks to the canvas. There's another catches him in the small of the back. Freak has Staks now…he's setting him up for a suplex!

DD: HAHA! He could destroy Staks right here if he hits this…OHHH!!!

VJ: Freak hangs Staks up on the top rope! I thought he was going for a suplex…OH GOOD GOD!!!! He just speared Staks off the ropes!!! My God! All 320 lbs right into the ribs of Staks!!

DD: Ya know what he calls that move?!

VJ: What?!

DD: The Splat!!

VJ: He does not!!

DD: He does to! Ask him!

VJ: Fine. Freak has Staks by the hair now…Irish whip…Staks reverses and sends Freak hard into the guardrail…what in the world?!

DD: Huh?!

VJ: We've got some jerk fans that just tossed their drinks all over Freak!! Freak looks hot about that! Staks from behind just knocked Freak right into the crowd! Right into the lap of those wild fans…and…WHOA!!!!

VJ and DD: HOLY SH*T!!!!!!!

VJ: We've got chaos out here ladies and gentlemen!!

DD: Security!!!! Security!!!

VJ: We've got several guys from backstage…they just came out here and attacked these fans and now they're getting security is trying to get them out of here! This is chaotic!

DD: Who the hell are they?!

VJ: I don't know! Staks throws Freak back into the ring…DDT!!! He hooks the leg…1…2…he got the shoulder up!!! Freak somehow kicked out of the pin! How did he do it?!

DD: See…he pressed his legs against the mat and…

VJ: Will you be serious?! Staks now…he just grabbed Glacier by the hair! There's a little bit of bad blood between these 2…OH!!!! Glacier with a thrust chop to the throat!! Freak from behind…THE LAST ACT ON STAKS!!! He hooks the leg…1…2…3!!! We've got an upset here!

DD: Upset?! Why does it have to be an upset?!

VJ: Well…it's just that Staks is a former TV Champion! He nearly won the Titles at Danger Ground!

DD: So?! Freak won that battle royal in Cancun, didn't he?!

VJ: That's a big win for Freak. I just can't believe this situation out here with those ringside fans…

DD: I told ya this place was a worthless pisshole, those jackass fans are living proof! I hope we never come to Indiana again!!!!

Downcast: Who is it?

Downcast: Hold your horses! I'm coming!

Downcast: Hmm, that's odd. Oh well.

Downcast: Assholes! I am a Tag Team Champ! I am the TV Champ! Who do they think they ..Wait a minute .. DIdn't that guy Blade say he was coming after a ...

VJ: Oh my God!!!!!

VJ: Well folks, I'm glad to say that security restrained Blade before he could do anythign with that weapon of his. I'm just glad nothing happened to Downcast ...

Blade: This isn't over yet! I am gonna get that title .. If it's the last thing I do! I am gonna get out of jail before In High Gear, so you better watch you back, bitch!

Firestorm: So what are you gonna do when Lightning gets here?

Panther: Exactly what I said. I'm gonna bring em out to the ring and make them explain to the world what the hell went down at the PPV.

Tina: Hold on Panther…I know Lightning and I know Ice Cube too. And I know they won't just give you an answer that easily.

Chyna: Yeah. I hope you got a good plan.

Panther: (To the Disasters) Ok…now I know you 2 musta lost your damn minds!

Glacier: You know what, Panther! My brother and I are sick and tired of the treatment we've been getting here in the NFWA.

Panther: Come again?

Iceberg: Don't come again us!

Panther: What the hell are you talking about?!

Glacier: Give us what we deserve! We deserve a tag team title shot…tonight!!

Firestorm: Whoa whoa whoa! Calm the hell down! First of all, incase you didn't notice, Rage is dead. Rage and Downcast were the Tag Team Champs, and don't expect Downcast to defend em alone cuz he already has a match.

Glacier: Well damn it. Give us a shot at another belt.

Iceberg: Yeah…like the I-C Title! I want that!

Panther: (Sighs) You…you just don't get it do you? (Chyna whispers something in Panther's ear) Hmmm…ok. Ya know boys…I don't know about gold…but I think I can give you something that's worth at least 10…12…45 times more than gold.

Glacier: And what's that?!

Panther: CASH!!!! You like cash?

Glacier: Well…yeah.

Panther: Well step into my office.

Iceberg: We're already in your off…

Panther: Hey…shut up and come here!!!

DD: No he can't! No one can stop the Dynasty, but isn’t it that our head referee Trish Stratus happens to appoint herself the ref for her boyfriend Krazed's match?

VJ: Oh please.

DD: You saying you don’t smell something fishy?

VJ: Just your breath. Krazed doesn't need anybody's help to win a match. He's a former World Champion. They lock up in the center of the ring…WHOA!!!! Look at the power of Krazed!!! He just shoved Squirrel hard to the canvas…and he gives a little wink to Trish!

DD: This is such a conspiracy!!!

VJ: I think that's what Squirrel is pointing out. He's having some words with Trish…OH!!!! Squirrel took a swing at Trish! That rotten bastard…Krazed nails Squirrel with a big boot! Right in the face!!! Squirrel just got knocked for a loop. Krazed has him by the hair…Irish whip sends him to the buckle…whoa! His momentum took him all the way over and to the outside! And listen to this crowd go crazy for Krazed…and there's another wink for Trish.

DD: Aww…I hope Squirrel rips out Krazed's eyes and feeds em to him.

VJ: That’s disgusting!! Squirrel just walked over to the timekeeper's table and grabbed a chair! C'mon now!

DD: Anything goes!!

VJ: He charges in with that…OH!!!! Another boot by Krazed sends the chair back into the face of Squirrel! Squirrel may have been busted open by that shot!!! Krazed scoops him up…he slams him down! Did you hear the sound of his back exploding off of that chair! Krazed off the ropes…BIG LEG DROP!!!!! He hooks the leg…Trish telling Krazed there are no pins!

DD: Jackass. Knowing that ignorant slut she'd change the rules in the middle of the match and make pins count.

VJ: She can't do that. She's not THE BOOKER anymore!

DD: Yeah but she's still THE SKANK in my book.

VJ: Will you stop?! Krazed has Squirrel back to his feet…Irish whip into the ropes…Krazed catches him in a tilt-a-whirl slam…wait no!!!! Squirrel counters…dropkick right to the face and the big man goes down! And Squirrel is busted open.

DD: I think it was the chairshot that did it!

VJ: Squirrel just mounted Krazed and now he's hammering away with right hands right to the dome! OH!!!! He's banging his head against the mat! Squirrel has snapped!

DD: He's about to snap Krazed's neck!

VJ: Squirrel picks Krazed back to his feet…he hits off the ropes and blasts him with a flying clothesline!!! Krazed doesn't go down!!!

DD: Kick him in the nuts!

VJ: Squirrel off the ropes with another clothesline…he still won't fall!

DD: Kick him in the nuts! Kick him in the nuts!

VJ: Squirrel tries for it again and he still won't fall!

DD: I said…kick him in the nuts!!!! Oh yeah!!!!

VJ: Krazed goes down like a ton of bricks after Squirrel kicked him in the…

DD: Nuts!

VJ: My momma's watching!

DD: Tell her to die! Bitch doesn't deserve to live anyway! I'd go to her funeral just to piss on her grave.

VJ: I'm warning you! Krazed using the turnbuckles to help pull himself up…Squirrel…NUTT BUSTER!!!!! SQUIRREL IS RIDING THE NUTT BUSTER! Krazed is in deep trouble!

DD: This is gonna be the end of Krazed right here!

VJ: Squirrel now…he just turned to Trish and he said you watch! What a baffoon!

DD: Hey! That ain't right!

VJ: Squirrel is setting up for the Nutt Shot…Trish just jumped on his back!!!

DD: WHAT?! I can't believe this!!!!

VJ: Trish has Squirrel in a chokehold…OH! Squirrel just flipped her off of his back! Squirrel looks mad…what's he gonna do to Trish?! Leave her alone you idiot! Leave her alo--OH!!! Krazed just explodes out of the corner and spins Squirrel around with a hard right hand! Squirrel tries for a shot of his own…but he just got blasted with the Supernova!!!

DD: NOOOOO!!!!

VJ: This is it!!! Krazed just planted Squirrel…here comes Firestorm out to ringside!

DD: Oh yes! The Prez will put a stop to these shenanigans!

VJ: No you didn't just say…nevermind! Krazed is staring into the eyes of Prez Firestorm…what's gonna happen here…OH MY GOD!!!!!!!

DD: What?!

VJ: DID YOU SEE THAT DAVE?! TRISH!!!! TRISH JUST HIT KRAZED WITH A LOW BLOW!!! DAMN HER!!! DAMN HER!!!!

DD: HAHA!!!! That was beautiful!!!!

VJ: What in the hell…look at the look on Krazed's face!

DD: He's heartbroken again…and now watch Squirrel…

VJ: OH!!! SQUIRREL WITH A TREMENDOUS CHAIRSHOT TO THE HEAD OF KRAZED!!!!! Krazed…Trish has turned her back on Krazed…Krazed has been busted open by that shot and Trish is counting…1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10!!! That was a fast count damn it!!!!

DD: What about that, Vince?!

VJ: I can't believe what we've seen here!!!

DD: Believe it! And this is all in the name of our dearly departed friend…Rage! God bless that man!

VJ: Out of respect for the dead, I'm not gonna respond to that comment. Firestorm just climbed into the ring now…Squirrel just grabbed Krazed and he's holding him in place. Squirrel is making Krazed look at this…FIRESTORM AND TRISH ARE KISSING!!! I cannot believe this!!!!!

DD: HAHA!!! That oughta learn him to stay the hell outta people's relationships!

VJ: Squirrel has that chair again…ONE MORE TIME TO THE HEAD OF KRAZED!!!! Firestorm and Trish are back together…what else can happen here tonight?!

DD: What now?!

Squirrel: Hey…wait a minute! Rage's funeral is later tonight! Aren't you guys gonna stick around for the funeral?!

Firestorm: Squirrel…Rage was a good friend…and he was one of my best friends…but…(points to Trish) LOOK AT THAT!!!!!

Squirrel: Yeah…but…

Firestorm: Look…just tell em I said hello! I gotta go!

Squirrel: But…

VJ: What a cold hearted son of a bitch!

Diamond>Now I bet you guys are woundering why I am out here.Well it has to do with this title right here.My Womens belt.Now I have been undefeted while defneding this title and tommorrow willl be four months since i won it in the triple threat match with Leena and Stacey Blitch.I love being the Womens Champ but I am ready to go for some other belt now.I mean you other women in the back are no compition for me.I know it and so do you.So what I am going to do is put the belt up for grabs in a match.Now the match will be Stephanie vs. Kammy.Now if it was up to ,me I would just hand it down to Stephanie but no I have to put it in a match for her to win it before she can defend it.

Billy>NOw do you think its smart to do that.I mean everytime you have went againest a man you have lost.You really think you can beat Rage or Ice Cube or Downcast for their belts.

Diamond>Billy shut up.Now yes i think I could beat them but I have one more thing to discuss oujt here and that is I still want a match againest Chyna.Now I think I deserve it.I mean come on she has cut my hair and choked me with a chain around the ring.Now yes I did get her back for that but still I want to face her for my last match againest a woman.Considering she is the only woman left in the back besides Maria who i have not faced yet.So what you say Chyna how about it.

Chyna: My gosh, Panther…can you believe this?!

Panther: Honestly, no I can't. Billy is without a doubt the dumbest son of a bitch I have ever…

Chyna: No, not Billy! I mean Diamond! She actually has the nerve to challenge me to a match! Now Diamond…obviously you haven't learned from your little friend Mandy earlier tonight. Well it looks like class is just gonna have to be in session again. Diamond, to answer your death wish, I accept. Anytime you want, anyplace you want, it really doesn't matter to me! All I know is that you will get the beating of a lifetime! And ya wanna know why that is?

Panther and Tina: CUZ THERE CAN'T BE ANY OTHER WAY!!!!

Chyna: Words to live by!

Diamond>Chyna…you have no idea what you have gotten yourself into!

VJ: Well ladies and gentlemen…up next! Inferno Match! The Icon Shane Cross tries to avenge his partner's loss at Danger Ground by taking out the man who beat him for the TV Title…Downcast! Don't go away, we'll be back after this commercial break!!!!

KT: Ladies and gentlemen, we have a big scoop! My sources have told me that Lightning has arrived here in Indianapolis! Now hopefully we'll be able to get a word with him right here, cuz in a couple of moments he will step through that very door…(The garage door begins to raise) OH MY GOD LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! IT'S HIM! IT'S…IT'S…THE SIDE SHOW FREAKS?!?!?!?!?!?!

KT: What the…they said Lightning was…guys…what are you doing here?!

Avenger: BOOOOOM! (Grabs Taylor and puts him in a headlock) AVENGER GO BOOOOM! (Repeatedly pounds on Taylor's head)

MC: (Slaps Avenger) STOP THAT YOU IDIOT!!!! (Avenger lets Taylor go) Alright…now we need to speak with Panther! Now! Where is he?!

KT: Um…his office is right down that way!

MC: Good. Let's go.

MC: Damn it! Put that down!

Avenger: (Pretending to fly an airplane) VRRRRRROOOOOOM!!!!

MC: DON'T PLAY WITH THAT! PUT IT DOWN! PUT IT DOWN!

Guard: OH MY GOD!!!!! RALPH!!!!

MC: Huh?!

Guard: You killed him!!! You killed Ralph!

MC: Who the hell is Ralph?!

Jiggly Steve: We just got here!

Police Officer: Come with us!

MC: No! We didn't do nothing!

Police Officer: You 3 have the right to remain silent! Everything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.

VJ: Well…the Side Show Freaks are back…I think!

DD: How many people have to die here in the NFWA?!

DD: Oh my God! We're gonna get the truth…hey!

VJ: Wait a minute. Downcast just crawled out from underneath the ring! Downcast…what the hell is going on. Downcast just rolled into the ring with a kendo stick! Look out Shane…OHHHHH!!!!! Hard shot to the back of the head by Downcast!!!

DD: HAHA! What a brilliant move by Downcast! Flame-on!! Start the match!!

VJ: Downcast with a sneak attack from behind is beating the life out of Shane Cross with that kendo stick!!! Cross…he doesn't even know what hit him! He hasn’t even seen Downcast yet…and the flames have surrounded the ring. Shane Cross is in big trouble here!

DD: Look at this! Downcast isn't wasting any time…HAHAHA!!!

VJ: TOTAL DISPEAR!!!! DOWNCAST JUST HIT TOTAL DISPEAR ON CROSS!!!! This match may be over before it even started!

DD: So much for Johnny Havok's revenge, huh?

VJ: Downcast has just put Shane Cross down with Total Dispear and he's picking him back up again…what the…not again…TOTAL DISPEAR!!!!!! Downcast did it again!

DD: HAHA! Earlier they were talking about Downcast's career going up in smoke. Well what now, jackass?!

VJ: Downcast…c'mon! You've proven your point! He just picked Cross up again…DAMN!!!!! A 3^rd Total Dispear!!!! This is unnecessary! Referee…get in there!!!! Downcast…what's he doing now?! He's rolling Cross onto his back!

DD: What's he gonna…uh oh! He's got that stick again!

VJ: Downcast has the Kendo stick…don't do that! Not again…OH!!!!! Right in the face!!!! And again!!! And again!! Stop this! Ref…stop the match! Downcast has gone too far!!!!

DD: Stop your bitching! This is wrestling, damn it! If you can't take the heat then get the hell out the kitchen!

VJ: He's repeatedly hammering Cross in the face…here comes Johnny Havok! Havok on his way out to the ring…

DD: There ain't nothing he can do! The ring is surrounded by fire!

VJ: Havok! Look at that look of anger and Downcast just saw him. Downcast just saw Johnny Havok and he stopped! Thank God…

DD: Oh…I don't think he's done!

VJ: I sure hope he's done. Oh God…Downcast is picking him up again! Don't do that! C'mon…you've proven…Downcast just picked Cross up over his shoulder…don't…don't…OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!! HE JUST DROPPED CROSS FACEFIRST ONTO THE FLAMES!!!!!! DAMN IT!!!!!!! DAMN IT!!!!!!!!!!

VJ: My God…turn off the fire!!!! Turn it off! Shane Cross…he was dropped facefirst…his whole body has been engulfed in flames!!!!

DD: BURN BABY BURN!!!

VJ: You son of a bitch! That's a human being!!! That's….they've finally turned the flames off and look at Downcast run!!!!! Downcast…my god!!! They've got fire extinguishers now and they're trying to get to Cross!!! Oh my God this is bad!!!!

DD: This is great! Downcast walks out with yet another great victory, proving to the entire world exactly why he is and will forever be my hero!!!

VJ: The flames have finally been extinguished and EMT's are out here putting Cross on a stretcher! This is bad! This is very bad. Cross' face went right into the fire…we may have seen the end of a career here!

DD: Hurray!!!! This may be the greatest FNS EVER!!!

Panther: Now…I see…uh…I see we just had another unfortunate…tragic situation out here with Mr. Cross. It's sad…it really is. But Ice Cube…Lightning, I know you're both back there…if you wanna avoid another tragic situation…I suggest you get both your asses out here right now!!!

DD: Whoa! He did it! He said he was gonna do it and he did it! What a guy!

VJ: Panther has called out Lightning and the World Heavyweight Champion.

Panther: Aight…cut that sh*t off! (The music stops) Now…Sparky…I know you're here damn it! These people want answers…I want answers…get your ass out here…

Ice Cube: (Snatches the mic) Panther…

Panther: (Snatches the mic back) Whoa whoa! Look…don't make me whoop your ass cuz I will! Ok?!

DD: Uh oh!

VJ: I can't believe he just said that! We could have a fight right here between Ice Cube and Panther!

Panther: Now since you seem to have so much to say here tonight, why don't you tell the whole world your story! Just what went down at Danger Ground! What's the deal…with you and Lightning.

Ice Cube: First of all, you watch who the hell you're talking to! I'm not one of your stooges in the back, I'm the World Champion!!! You treat me with respect or I'll beat your ass! (Crowd cheers) SHUT THE F*CK UP!!!! (Crowd boos) That's better. Now you wanna know what's the deal with me and Lightning?! Well what you see is what you get. We came…we saw…we beat their asses, and now Ice Cube and Lightning are the strongest force in the NFWA today!

Panther: Is that so?!

Ice Cube: Yeah that's so!

Panther: Ok. Good…but Ice Cube…I've known you for a while, and I know that you lie more than Pinnochio after an overdose on Viagra. So I wanna hear it from the horse's mouth! I wanna hear it from Sparky himself, so Lightning…maybe you didn't hear me the 1^st time, but when I told you to get your ass down here…I MEANT IT!!

Panther: Now…I was gonna say cut the music…but they already did it so…I'm gonna ask you just like I asked ol' Frosty here: Are you or are you not in cahoots with Ice Cube?!

Lightning: (picks up a mic and raises it to his lips but he says nothing)

Panther: (Sighs) Ya know…when I want you to shut up you won't do it. But I give you an open mic, give you the chance to run your fat mouth and all of a sudden you're a damn mute! Lightning, these people want answers!!! Are you or are you not in cahoots with Ice Cube?!

Lightning: (Smiles) You want answers?!

Panther: That's what I said!

Lightning: Well…

VJ: OH!!!!!! LIGHTNING BOLT ON PANTHER!!!

DD: What?!

VJ: There's your answer!! Lightning has just laid out the CEO of this company…Chyna just nailed him on the jaw with a right hand…ICE CUBE JUST FLOORED HER WITH AN ICE BREAKER!!!

DD: What in the hell is going on?!

VJ: Ice Cube and Lightning have just laid out Panther and Chyna! Oh my God…Natural Disasters from the crowd with chairs…OH!!!! They just nailed Lightning and Ice Cube from behind with those chairs!! What the hell are they doing out here?!

DD: I dunno, but thank God! They're giving these 2 heathens exactly what they deserve!

VJ: They are beating the hell out of Lightning and Cube with those chairs!!! Glacier has that chair and he's jammed it into the throat of Lightning…and watch Iceberg…he just climbed to the 2^nd rope…OH!!!! Big splash!! Right onto the ribs of the World Champion!

DD: HAHA! The most powerful duo in the NFWA today, right?!

VJ: I still don't know if they’re in cahoots or not! And now here comes Tina out here. She's carrying a breifcase!!! What is she doing!? Panther and Chyna are back up…Tina opens the brei…WOW!!!

DD: That must be over $1 million in there!!!

VJ: Oh I get it now! Panther has paid the Natural Disaster off! This was a damn set up!!!!! The Disasters have sold out to the Dynasty!!!!

Extremist: Haha! I almost forgot how damn great that was! It sorta sucks Rage is gone though... now I can't kick anyone's ass! Hahaha!

Extremist: What the-OHH!

VJ: Oh my god! Someone... or someTHING is attacking the Extremist in his locker room!

DD: Good for him! Making fun of poor old Rage's death...

VJ: He's out cold!!

DD: This is great! Whoever did this to the Extremist is my hero!!!!

VJ: And we're back! Wa-wait a minute. I just heard that the Extremist is being taken to the hospital...

The camera switches to the locker room where three paremedics are wheeling the Extremist out. They get to the door and...

Paramedic 1: The door won't open...

Paremedic 2: What do you mean?

Paramedic 1: Try and open it!

Paramedic 3: Here, let me try..(tries to open it) Door won't budge!

Paramedic 2: Now what the hell are we supposed to do?

VJ: Some very strange things have been happening latley...

DD: I'll say....WHOA!!!

VJ: Holy sh*t!

DD: Watch your mouth! This is a family show!

VJ: Oh my god! Did you see that? Extremist just got smashed THROUGH the doors! Look at that hole!! Panther won't be happy when he hears about that...

DD: The Extremist isn't having much luck tonight!

VJ: No he isn't.... the paramedics have already left.. and the Extremist is laying in the middle of the parking lot!

DD: SOMEBODY....RUN HIM OVER!!!

VJ: Lets just....well obviously the Extremist won't make it to his match…who the hell did this?!

VJ: Ice Cube was attacked by the Natural Disasters, Glacier and Iceberg before the break! Will he be at 100%?!

DD: i don't think so, they gave him quite a beating!

DD: C'mon, you have a match, loser! What are you afraid?! You can win the World Title! Forget you!

VJ: He was attacked in the locker room! He was rushed to the hospital! How can you say that!

DD: Lick my grapes! Skankhole!

DD: If only Extremist showed up! He's just afraid to step into the ring with .. WHOOA! Bi gFoot just rocked Ice Cube with that Clothesline! Ice Cube quickly up .. Another Clothesline takes him down! Big Foot has him by the hair .. What a right hand! Big Foot in control of this match! Suplex by Big Foot! There's another! If Ice Cube wants to retain his title .. He'll have to turn things around! And quick!

VJ: He's one of the best NFWA wrestlers! He has plenty of time! It's early yet! Big Foot has his up again .. Hard Irish Whip to the buckle! Ice Cube runs back at Big Foot .. Scoop Slam! Ice Cube is down! Big Foot is fired up! He looks like he's ready to finish this one! He looks like he's ready to become a World Champion for the 2^nd time…

DD: What in the world?!

VJ: Lightning is on his way out to the ring…we could get our answers right here! Is he or is he not in cahoots with Ice Cube!

DD: I say he is, Vince!

VJ: Lightning has a steel chair and he's climbing into the ring. Look at that look that Big Foot just gave him! I'm sure he hasn't forgotten what Lightning did at Danger Ground!

DD: I'm…hey wait a minute. He just walked past…he wouldn't!!!!

VJ: Lightning just walked over to Ice Cube! He'g gonna hit him with the chair! Ice Cube is gonna blast Lightning! I meant that the other way around! Lightning is gonna blast the champ…Big Foot spins Lightning around…OH NO!!!!!!!! HE NAILED BIG FOOT RIGHT IN THE HEAD WITH THAT CHAIRSHOT!!! Big Foot is down…Lightning is headed back up the ramp…Ice Cube with the cover…1…2…3!!!!

VJ: Lightning…what the hell was that?!

DD: there's your proof! Lightning is in cahoots with Ice Cube!

VJ: I don't know! He just left the ring…that could've been self defense!

DD: SELF DEFENSE THE ROCK'S ASS!!!!! Lightning knew exactly what he was doing, just like he knew at Danger Ground.

VJ: Lightning just stopped on the stage…he's staring at Ice Cube…Ice Cube is staring back. What's the deal?! Are they in cahoots or not?!

VJ: Ladies and gentlemen…it's been a wild night. Right now…(wipes a tear from his eye) right now we're here to pay our respects to a great NFWA superstar…(looks around)

DD: What's wrong?

VJ: Just checking. Tonight we pay our respects to a great NFWA superstar and a helluva man! Rage! Right now…please turn your attention to the Panthertron where our technical staff…fondly refered to as the Tech Katz…made a great video package for Rage. Let's take a look…

VJ: (Trying to hold back tears) And now…here to say a few words…

VJ: Sweet mother of gravy, not again!

Woman: (Crying) WHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYY?!?!?!?!?! RAGE…PLEASE DON'T LEAVE!!!! TAKE ME WITH YOU!!!! TAKE ME WITH YOU!!!! AWWWW GOD!! TAKE ME INSTEAD! WHY RAGE!!! WHY!!!!!!!

VJ: Ma'am!

Woman: RAGE!!! OH MY GOD!!! I WANNA DIE!!! OH GOD!!!!!!!

VJ: Thank you Diamond. Now…here to say a few words…

DD: Let me say something!

VJ: No!

DD: C'mon! Let me say something! I'll be good this time! Promise!

VJ: (Sighs) Ok. Here to say a few words…Delaware Dave.

DD: Rage and I were…good friends and it's sad to see him go…not like that faggot ass Mad Dog. I was glad when he died…but I actually liked Rage. He was one of the few people I know who had the same passion for purple-flavored Kool-Aid that I do. (Wipes a tear from his eye) Rage…if you can hear my down there in hell…I need you to do one thing for me. Find the biggest gun that you can find…Satan's evil so I know he's got at least 7 or 8 of em. So get one of his guns when he's not looking…and I want you to find that dead bastard Mad Dog! And when you do…I want you to shoot the sh…

VJ: (Snatches the mic from Dave and shoves him out of the ring) Ok! Ok! Here to say a few words right now…is NFWA broadcaster Rosie Sanchez.

RS: Well…I never really liked Rage that much…actually I hated Rage. We never got along. But I guess if I had gotten to know him a little better…I probably would've…

VJ: Thank you Rosie!

RS: But I'm not done!

VJ: Yes you are! (Grabs Rosie by the hair and tosses her to the floor) Now ladies and gentlemen…we're running short on time so if there's nobody else…

Ice Cube: Rage…I know the last couple of months we haven't really be getting along too well…but I've gotta say…I was the one who helped bring you to the NFWA and I'm sad to see you go! You were my best friend…you were a good guy…and eventhough I never said it…eventhough I always talked trash about ya…I was proud to call you my friend and my partner. I'll miss you buddy.

(Ice Cube taps on the casket and looks like he's trying to hold back tears. Suddenly the casket lid pops open and Rage's body sits up and looks at Ice Cube. As the whole arena looks on in horror, Rage shoots a fireball into the face of Ice Cube, catching his hair on fire. Vince Johnson and Dave run out out the ring and back to the locker room. On the floor, a group of masked pallbearers jump Lightning from behind and toss him into the ring. The pallbearers climb in and begin stomping Lightning. A lot of the wrestlers head back to the locker room, but Diamond, Blade, Johnny Havok, Blaze and several security guards climb in to stop the attack, but are all beaten down by the pallbearers. They unmask themselves, turning out to be Squirrel, Firestorm, and Downcast. They tie Lightning's wrist to the ringpost, leaving only Rage and Lightning. As Ice Cube rolls around in pain on the mat, Rage grabs a pair of brass knuckles and bashes him in the spine. He then picks up the huge picture of himself, raises it above his head and shatters it over the head of Ice Cube. He picks Cube up and gives him Total Annihilation. Panther grabs the World Title belt, hands it to Rage and he raises it high over his head as "My Way" blasts over the PA system. The camera does a closeup on Rage as the screen fades to black)