3/23/01-Live from Philadelphia, PA in the First Union Center!!!!!
(The NFWA logo appears on the screen and fades away. The camera cuts out to the parking lot of the First Union Center where we see a long black limo pull up. The driver gets out of the front seat, opens the door and Big Foot gets out. Wearing his new World Championship T-shirt and carrying his Title belt over his shoulder, Big Foot prepares to walk into the arena when…)
KT: Big Foot!!!! Big Foot!!!!
BF: Geeez!
(Kevin Taylor runs up to Big Foot with a mic. Big Foot tries to ignore him and continues walking towards the arena)
KT: Big Foot!!! Can I have a quick word with you about tonight?!
BF: Taylor…(sighs) alright! Make it quick! I don't got all night!
KT: How are you preparing for your matchup against former World Champion Rodney Demp? Do you think that you can match up…
BF: Whoa whoa whoa?! Do I think I can match up to Demp?! Ya know what, Taylor, shut the hell up! I already said once that I don't give a damn about Demp! Ya talk about him being a former champ and all of that sh*t…yeah that's all good and well…but he ain't the champ now…I am! Tonight we're gonna see who the better man is!
KT: Yes…and speaking of seeing who the better man is…what about Lightning?
BF: (Stops walking, turns and grabs Taylor by the throat) WHAT ABOUT LIGHTNING???!
KT: (Nervously) W-w-w-well…I just…everybody saw on Gear you hit Lightning. I just wanted to know…
BF: Wait…you think I would hit my cousin on purpose??! (Lifting Taylor into the air) IS THAT WHAT YOU THINK????!
KT: (Choking) NO….NOO!!!!
(Big Foot grabs Taylor by the hair, rams him headfirst into a nearby door and leaves him lying in the parking lot. The FNS Video plays on the screen and the camera opens up to the live Philadelphia crowd cheering and holding up signs as pyro explodes by the FNS set and the FNS theme blasts over the PA system. When the pyro stops, the camera pans the crowd, picking up signs such as "Put the kids to bed…it's Rodney", "WE WANT KURT", "Welcome home Panther", "Welcome Home Sniper" and "F*CK THE POLICE". As that last fan is being arrested, the camera then cuts down to the front row where we see Joey Merlino surrounded by 6 large men in black suits. The camera then cuts to Vince Johnson and Delaware Dave)
VJ: Ladies and gentlemen…we are Live from the NFWA's Home Base in Philadelphia, PA …welcome to the FRIDAY NIGHT SLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!!!!! Vince Johnson here alongside Delaware Dave this card will be a great one!
DD: Damn right it will! We're in Philly! That's just a hop, skip and a jump away from DELAWARE!!!!!!! Marcy, Maggie…Davy's coming home to ya baby! (Growls)
VJ: (Looking at Dave like he's an idiot) Uh…uh huh! Anyway…tonight we've got great action…3 huge title matches…Demp and Big Foot, Lightning and Scarlet KV for the IC Title, Rage and the Extremist…
DD: Yeah, that's good and everything, Vince, but something smells fishy about FNS tonight, and seeing that that skank you call a wife isn't around, I say something must be up with that shifty-eyed Big Foot!!
VJ: Well, when we last saw him on Gear he had hit Lightning…was it an accident or not? Both men will be here tonight, and why in the hell is Joey Merlino here?! Who are those guys in the black suits?! What the hell is going on tonight in Philly?!
(Bright blue and red strobe lights flash over the arena as "Sexy Boy" blasts over the PA system. The crowd goes crazy as Shawn Michaels struts out onto the stage. He poses for a few moment, then, as the music dies down, Shawn points back to the entrance as 4 huge pyro blasts explode in the ring. "You, Me, Him and Her" starts up over the PA system, flashing red and blue lights swarm the arena and the crowd comes to it's feet as Panther and Chyna join Michaels out on the stage. Both Panther and Chyna give Michaels five as they all head down the ramp to the ring. When they get to the ring, HBK does his signature pose in the center of the ring as sparklers shoot up behind him and another huge pyro blast goes off in the background. The lights come back on, the music dies down and Chyna tosses Panther a mic. As the trio stands in the ring the crowd starts up a loud "Panther, Panther" chant)
Panther: (with a big smile) Philly!!! (Crowd cheers even louder) Aight! Aight! Now…as much as P-Diddy would love to come out here and play hometown hero tonight…
(Panther focuses the camera on the Allen Iverson jersey he's wearing and the crowd pops again. He laughs and continues)
Panther: Yeah. As much as I would love to play hero for all of my loving, caring and adoring hometown fans out there, P-Diddy, the 9th Wonder of the World and Mr. HBK have got some biz to take care of! So…
(pyro suddenly shoots from the Firetron and "Tha Block is Hot" blasts over the PA system. The crowd boos loudly as Sniper walks out on stage followed by the 9th Street Posse. They stop on the stage, their music dies down and "The Game" plays over the PA. Triple H walks out with Rebecca, spits water into the air and stands beside Sniper. The Music quickly cuts and "Rollin (Urban Assault Vehicle)" plays over the PA system as Firestorm walks out accompanied by Trish Stratus, Jim Cornette and the rest of the Legion of Destruction. The music dies down and the crowd starts a loud chant of "asshole, asshole" as Michaels and Chyna lead them on. Sniper grabs the mic)
Sniper: Now Panther…(Crowd chants louder) AIGHT, SHUT THE F*CK UP!!!!!!!!!! (Booos) Booooooo! Boo my ass! I can't believe you pieces of shit!!! Do you know who the hell I am????! Huh?! I AM THE GREATNESS, THE XTREME, I AM SNIPER! I was born and raised in this city, right at University of PA hospital!!!!! (Crowd boos loudly and tosses trash) I can remember a time when I was just like the rest of you homeless bastards, sitting in the crowd at either the Spectrum, the Corestates…First Union Center…whatever the hell they call it now, having to put up with with with those lazy ass, good for nothing security guards pushing their weight around, getting hit by pregnant bitches in the crowd…I did all of that in this very arena! Then when I got rich, I never turned my back on the city! (Crowd chants "bullsh*t, bullsh*t") Yeah, after all I've been through here in Philly, you bitches have the nerve to turn on me like that?! You wanna turn on the Posse?! Well I don't give a f…
Panther: Sniper!!!!! Now it's bad enough we have to put up with all your bitching tonight but let me tell you something, boy, if you EVER come out here and interupt me again then I'll send your punk ass right back to University of PA hospital in a bodybag! Ya hear me, bitch???!
DD: He cannot talk to Sniper like that!! He's the Commish!
VJ: Sniper looks furious!
Sniper: Aight…Panther, you wanna be a smart ass well that's fine with me! But you know why we're out here! Last week we made the challenge, Sniper, Firestorm, Triple H Vs you, Michaels and anybody you could scrap up! You beat us, Panther's in charge again! You lose, both of you are out of the NFWA for good! Now we gave you 1 week to find a partner and guess what, time's up! Panther, Michaels, what do you say???!
(Panther tosses the mic back to HBK and the crowd cheers in the background)
HBK: Now…Sniper…as you know…as I know and as the whole world knows, Panther and I don't need a partner to take on you 3 jackoffs! We can do just find by our damn selves! But…no, we haven't been able to find a partner as of yet.
Sniper: What's that Shawn?? I didn't quite hear you. Can you repeat that again?
HBK: I said Panther and I don't have a tag team partner!
Triple H: No! What you're saying is that nobody in their right mind would be stupid enough to go up against us, because they know if they did, they'd they their ass beat! Isn't that what you're saying Michaels?!
HBK: Nah! What I'm saying is that if you bitches got the balls to even show up at Slamfest then me and P-Diddy will beat your asses all over that ring! (Crowd cheers loudly in the background) Hell! Ya know what…I don't give a damn about Slamfest! Why don't you bring your asses down to the ring and we can get it done right now!!!!!!!
VJ: Whoa!!!! Michaels is calling out the Posse and the LOD right now!
DD: he's crazy, Vince!
VJ: Michaels…he's incensed and I think he and Panther are ready to go! And look up on the stage!!!
DD: HAHA! This is gonna be great Vince!
VJ: This may be a big mistake by Michaels and Panther! The odds are against them…we've got both the Legion of Destruction and the Posse headed down to ringside…all hell is about to break…
DD: Damn it, It's the cops!!!!
VJ: We've got police officers out here to break this fight up!
DD: Break it up…damn it! It didn't even get started yet!!!
VJ: We've got dozens of officers out here…they're trying to hold the Posse and the LoD back…OH MY GOD! Sniper just struck a cop!!!! What the hell is the matter with him!!
DD: that was great!!!!! I lo…look Vince!
VJ: Firestorm has that other cop…BIG TIME ON THE RAMP!!!! They're fighting the police and…
Chyna: (Snatches the mic from Shawn) Wait!!!!!! Wait!!!! Guys wait a minute!
DD: Bitch! Who the hell does she think she is?!
VJ: Chyna has the mic and she's telling the guys to wait.
Chyna: Panther…Shawn…just calm down for a minute, ok? Sniper...Firestorm…they don't have a partner yet…buy give give us some more time!
Firestorm: More time??? We already gave you a week! What else do you want?!
Chyna: What I'm saying is…give us until the end of the night! I promise…if you just give us til then we'll have a partner by then. Ok?
DD: She's trying to back out of the fight for them, Vince!
VJ: Chyna is trying to reason with the Sniper and Firestorm…look at that look on Michaels' face! I think he really wanted to go 2 on 3!
DD: Yeah! He must've really wanted to get his faggot ass beat too!
Firestorm: ya know what…(looks at his watch) ok. Panther…you need to get down on your knees and thank that bitch of yours for sparing your life. Right now it's 9:12…by 11:00, if you don't have your partner, that's it!
(Trish whispers something in Firestorm's ear and he smiles)
Firestorm: Good idea! You know, Panther, since your girlfriend obviously doesn't want you and HBK to get your asses kicked…and if you go 3 on 2 against us that's exactly what would happen…I'm gonna do you 2 lovebirds a favor. If you don't find that partner by 11:00 tonight, you will simply forfeit the match at Slamfest. Incase you don't get what I'm saying let me break it down: No partner, no match, and both of you are gone from the NFWA!!!!! Just think about that…and oh yeah! GOOD LUCK!
(Fire shoots up from the ringposts and "Rollin (Urban Assault Vehicle)" plays over the PA system again as Firestorm, Sniper, Triple H and the others head by to the locker room)
DD: HAHA! Did you hear that, Vince??! Firestorm is a genius!
VJ: that's not fair at all! Panther and Shawn must find a partner by 11:00 tonight! If not…they're gone!!!!!
DD: This is gonna be the greatest night in the history of the NFWA! I love it!
(The camera cuts back to the locker room where we see a red SUV pull up. The door opens and Rodney Demp gets out)
VJ: Uh oh! Look who's here!
DD: Yeah! It's our next World Champion, Vince!
VJ: Rodney Demp is here! Fans, don't go away! We'll be back after this commercial break!
*****Commercial for NFWA X-Tra (1 day left)*****
::::NFWA SLAM OF THE WEEK, BROUGHT TO YOU BY NFWA BRAND BOOTS:::
(In High Gear 3/21/01 :::Tank Vs Insane::)
PP: What a match!
KT: That's the truth!
PP: Yeah! I'd drink her bath water!!! (pants)
KT: Here comes…what the hell did you say???! Forget it…I don't even wanna know! Insane with an irish whip…Tank with a reversal sends him crashing hard into the buckle…he comes back out and nails him with a huge powerslam…1…2…3!!!!! He got him!!!!
PP: Uh uh!!!!! It was a 2!!!!!!
KT: I could've sworn he had him there! Tank picks Insane back up…he may be setting up for the Kannon…low blow by Insane!!!
PP: I'm surprised that one even hurt old Tank…whooo! Look at this one Kevin!
KT: He's setting up for Total Insanity…TANK COUNTERS…TOMBSTONE!!!!!!!!!!! He makes the cover…1…2…it's Freak!!!!! Freak just put Insane's foot on the bottom rope!
PP: He did not! He just had a bad yeast infection, that's all!
KT: Huh?! Tank is trying to get at Freak…Insane from behind…TOTAL INSANITY!!!!! 1…2…3!!!! Forget about it!!!!!
Ding Ding Ding!!!
Announcer: Here is your winner: Insane!!!!
(The Slam of the Week ends and cuts to a scene of Michaels, Panther and Chyna walking backstage. They stop outside of the GX locker room)
HBK: Damn it! I can't believe this bullsh*t! Chyna, if we're not able to find a partner…I'm gonna…
Panther: You're gonna what?!
HBK: (Catching himself) We're gonna be in big trouble.
Chyna: Well Shawn, all I was doing was looking out for you guys. It's bad enough that you have to face them 3 on 2, but with the LOD and Posse there would be no way you'd beat them.
HBK: Look, I said before that it didn't matter how many of them it was…
Panther: Hey Shawn, Chyna's right. If we're gonna go into a war we gotta make sure we've got backup!
Chyna: yeah, and besides…I'm sure you've got the perfect partner right under your nose…(winks at them)
Panther: Damn! Thanks for your support Chyna! And why we find that special partner, we'll let you know. C'mon Shawn.
(Panther and HBK walk into the GX locker room, leaving Chyna in the hallway)
Chyna: Uh…guys…I think you missed the point! Guys!!!!
No DQ: Johnny Havok and Freak Vs Tank and Murder Souljah
(Tank walks down the ramp to the ring with no music. He's carrying a ladder. When he gets to ringside, he climbs into the ring and waits. A Giant M appears on the titantron and beigns to throb and BOOM! red,blue,yellow,light green and,light bluepyros blow up and sparkscome out of the stage and "187" by Murder Souljah blares over the P.A. system as Murder Souljah appears on stage and heads down to the ring. When he gest to ringside, he pulls out 3 table, a gas can and a lead pipe. He tosses all of them into the ring and waits beside his partner as the music dies down. The lights go out and the sound of a twisted laugh is heard over the PA system as the laugh stops lights begin to flash on and off as the arena goes dark again white pyros begin to shoot off and We Give No F*ck by ICP hits the PA system. An figure dressed in total black begins to make his way to the ring stopping every five steps to look out into the crowd. He continues to make his way to the ring. He climbs over the top rope and begins walking around the ring he makes three circles around his opponents and his music dies down. The lights begin to flash and "Stupify" by Disturbed sounds over the PA system as Johnny Havok walks out onto the NFWA stage. Wasting no time, Murder Souljah rolls out of the ring, runs up the ramp and meets Havok with a tremendous spinkick)
Ding Ding Ding!!!!
DD: Look out Vince! This one's gonna be crazy!!!!!!
VJ: Murder Souljah is taking the fight to Johnny Havok up on the stage…OH!!!!! Did you hear that???! He just slammed the back of Havok's head against the steel stage!! It sounded like a watermelon splattering!!
DD: Oh my God, Vince, you don't think Murder Souljah would try to eat Havok's brains, do you?!
VJ: Idiot! This is Johnny Havok's NFWA debut and it isn't starting off to his liking! Back in the ring look at Tank! He and Freak are going at it tooth and nail in the ring! Tank must be pissed about losing to Insane on Gear this week…
DD: Pissed! He's embarrassed! You see, this idiot ran his mouth off for weeks and weeks and see what it got him?! Insane's boot right in his fat mouth!
VJ: Will you shut up???! Freak…this man is a monster! Look at him! Freak just picked up the ladder that Tank brought to the ring earlier…look out…OH!!!!! Right to the ribs of Tank!!! He had to break his ribs with that one!!!! There's another that sends Tanks staggering back to the buckle! Freak follows in with rapid-fire boots to the injured midsection…Irish whip by Freak…OH!!!! Reversal sends Tank crashing hard into the turnbuckle!!!!!!!!!!
DD: HAHA! I don't know too much about this Freak, but he sure does know how to kick some ass!
VJ: Back on the stage, Soujah is still doing a number on Havok!!! Johnny Havok has been busted open and…where the hell is Souljah going?!
DD: he's running, Vince!
VJ: Murder Souljah is going backstage…why the hell…oh no!
DD: Uh oh! Look out, Johnny!
VJ: Havok is out of it and Murder Souljah has returned with a shovel!!!!! This may be going too far!
DD: He's crazy Vince, do something about him!!!
VJ: Souljah is gonna try to bury the career of Johnny Havok…swing and a miss…boot to the misection by Havok!
DD: Oh!!! Thank God! That damn Murder Souljah needs to be shot for trying to do something like that! As a matter of fact…Vince, hand me my gun!
VJ: Johnny Havok just realized he's bleeding and he looks pissed! OH! He just slapped Souljah right in the mouth! And again!!!!! Souljah fires back with a right hand of his own!! Havok! Souljah! We've got a slugfest on the stage, meanwhile…WHOA!!!!!! (Crash)
DD: Damn it, you idiot!!!!!
VJ: Tank just tossed Freak right on top of our table…c'mon! Get it back in the ring!!!!!!
DD: I don't care if they take it back in the ring or not. Just get the hell away from me before I have to bust a cap in 1 of their asses…AH!!!!!!!
VJ:: OHHH! Tank just slammed Freak headfirst into the table!!! And again!!!!! Freak is getting mauled out here on top of our table!!!!! Tank is climbing up here now!!! This is getting ridiculous!!!!!! Tank and Freak…they're on top of our announce table fighting…meanwhile back on the stage Havok has Souljah set up for a piledriver…OH! Low blow by Murder Souljah!!!
DD: Cheater!
VJ: Johnny Havok is writhing in pain…Souljah has the shovek again…OH MY!!!!!!!!
DD: He has got to be disqualifyed!!!!!!
VJ: He damn near knocked Havok's head off with that shovel shot!!!!! Havok may be out and now here comes Souljah back to the ring. He's on his way to help out his partner…
DD: Damn it, this match is so crazy I can't even remember who's with who!
VJ: That's cuz you're a moron. Freak has just tossed Tank back into the ring…he's looking under the ring for something…oh my God! He just tossed a traffic light into the ring! Who the hell keeps putting that stuff under there??? Freak is climbing into the ring…Tank is down but here comes Souljah…he's got the traffic light!
DD: Oh no!!!!! Look out Freak….OHHHH!!!!!!!
VJ: GOOOD LORD!!!!!!!! That traffic light just exploded over the head of Freak!!!! Freak is down!!!! Souljah with the cover…1…2…thr…no!!!!! How in the hell did Freak kick out of that one?!
DD: It had to be drugs!
VJ: Freak…aw man! He's out of it after that last shot and watch Tank and Murder Souljah! We've got a double team situation in the ring right now…Johnny Havok is still out of it on the stage!!! Freak is helpless!
DD: Somebody's gotta do something, Vince!
VJ: Why don't you get in there, Dave?!
DD: It's not in my contract.
VJ: Ok, sure. You didn't have a problem attacking Diamond a few weeks back…Tank has a chair! Tank tosses Freak back to the corner and he's got a chair…
DD: What the hell is that skankhole doing, Vince???!
VJ: What???! Murder Souljah…oh no! He just set up a table on the floor…he's pouring gasoline on the table!!!! Murder Souljah just doused…OH!!!!!!!! Tank just caught a big boot to the face by Freak…he grabs him by the throat…CHOKESLAM ON THE CHAIR!!!! Freak with the cover…1…2…Souljah breaks is up!! What a match we've got on our hands! Souljah is hammering away on Freak now…Irish whip…Freak reverses and sends Souljah into the ropes…whoa…swinging DDT!!!!!!! He Freak bounced headfirst off of that steel chair!!!
DD: He knocked his brains out, Vince!
VJ: Murder Souljah might be setting up for Murder at 1600…oh no! He just pulled out matches!
DD: Arson!!!!! Call the police! Put his ass in jail!!!!
VJ: Will you shut up????! Souljah just lit some matches…HE JUST SET THAT TABLE ON FIRE!!!!!!
DD: NOOO!!!!
VJ: Murder Souljah just set the table on fire! We've got a flaming table on thew floor! This isn't good at all for anybody!!! Both Souljah and Tank are picking up Freak now…
DD: Damn it, Vince! Listen to these inbred Philadelphia bastards! A man is about to die and they're cheering this crap!!!!! What a bunch of idiots!
VJ: Tank and Souljah look like they're going to toss Freak up over the top through that tab…
DD: HAVOK!!!!
VJ: Oh God! Havok just ran out to the ring…OH MY GOODNESS!!!!!! He just knocked Tank's head off with that shovel!!!!!! Tank is down…Murder Souljah misses with a clothesline and catches a boot to the stomach…oh no…wait a minute…OOOOOHHHHHHH MYYYYY GOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Crowd chants "Holy sh*t" in the background)
DD: HAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!! That was great!!!!!!
VJ: That's horrible!!!!! Havok Bomb over the top rope just send Souljah crashing headfirst through that flaming table!!!!!!
DD: A flaming table for a flaming faggot! Good riddance, bitch!!
VJ: You're disgusting! Havok just picked up Tank by the hair…INVERTED RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP ON THE CHAIR!!!!!! He calls that the Havok Impulse!!!! He makes the cover…1…2…3!!!!!!!
DD: HAHAHA!
Ding Ding Ding!!!
Announcer: Here are your winners, the team of Johnny Havok and Freak!!!!!!
VJ: Freak and Havok need to get down on their knees and thank their lucky stars!!!!! They escaped this match by the skin…
DD: Shut up, Johnson! What you just saw in that ring was a world class ass whooping by 2 world class superstars! Look at that idiot Murder Souljah!
VJ: He's hurt badly on the floor…is that a preview of what will happen at SlamFest when he meets up with Havok in a TLC Hell in a Cell match?! Well ladies and gent…
DD: HAHA! Look at that big idiot Tank!
VJ: Freak is in Tank's face, taunting him. Tank is out of it after that shovel shot…OH!!!!!! Tank just speared Freak!!!!!!! Tank…Tank has just snapped on Freak!!!!!!!! Tank is hammering away…oh no!!!! It's Insane!!!!!
DD: Yeah…and he's got STEEEEEEEL!!!!!! HAHAHAHA!
VJ: Insane is in the ring with a steel cha--DAMN IT!!!!!!!! Hard shot to the back of the head of Tank!!!!!!
DD: HAHA! This idiot must never get tired of getting his ass whooped!
VJ: Insane and Freak…they're double teaming Tank!!!!!!!!! We've got a mugging going on in the center of the ring…wait a minute! It's The Extremist!!!!!
DD: Oh no!!! Look out, guys!!!!!
VJ: Extremist hits the ring with a chair and look at those cowards run!!!! Insane and Freak…what is their relationship??? Do you think that Freak is the newest member of Collision???
(The cameras go to the back as they scan threw out the hallways and come across a lockerroom that reads "Demolitionists"....Rosie Sanchez and the camera crew get closer to the door to try and hear whats going on...
Laughter rings out from the lockerroom...and what sounds like some yelling, suddenly it gets quiet..as Rosie husshes the camera crew and puts her ear to the door.......The door opens very fast as Rosie almost falls as Lightning catches her and starts to laugh)
Lightning: Hold on, Rosie I have a GF dont need you falling for me (cracks a smile and laughs)..so Rosie what brings you to our section of the hallway.
Rosie: O nothing really we were just passing by and heard some noises coming from here, I will be on my way now, sorry to disturb you
Lightning: Uh....Rosie...our lockerroom is at the end of this hallway here next to a brick wall..its kinda impossible for you to be just passing by, and convienentaly stop by here..come on now..what is it...I know you dont want to speak with the World Champion Bigfoot....Cause hes having this lil stinky problem going on...(Laughs)
***********From the back************
BF: Go to hell!! Jackass!!!!
(Lightning laughs).......
Rosie: Yeah I guess you got me, um it would be nice if I could get your comments on tonights matchup with one of the toughest wrestlers around here and the man that will be facing Rage at SLamfest for the TV, IC and Possibly Xtreme titles.......
Lightning:WO WO WO!!!....Sorry to interupt but I must correct your mistake...now rewind back 5 seconds ago..you just said the man that WILL be taking on Rage at Slamfest for the TV, Possibly the Xtreme and the...Ic title......see you got 2 out of 4 right....KV vs Rage biggest ppv of the year..Correct: Tv title on the line..Correct:..Xtreme title on the line....Hell Rage has to beat Extremist first...and as for the IC title on the line....EH EH....Ya see KV may have all the confidence in the world that tonight is his night to prove that he is the #2 guy in the buisness and that he can indeed defeat me...But you see tonight is once again my night...my night to prove that I am still at the top of my game, that my loss to Squirrel was a fluke..and now its my chance to shut up KV for all his lil jokes about my Grandma, and about the crappy lil Final Fantasy antics that were said awhile back......I am 100%..I'm whipping ass and taking names for the past few weeks...I have beat people left and right..front and back everywhich way you look..You will see Lightning whipping someones ass, just to step up the ladder that much more...Im almost back on the top of the ladder..just a few more rungs to go till im back on top...but for now I have to stop on the rung Im at...reach out my hand...Kick the hell out of KV tonight win back the IC title...keep climbing untill Slamfest when the true balance of me being on top is decided...right now KV you have a storm hanging over your head...and you dance around in your Final Fantasy Halloween costume...but soon youll feel the raindrops...then youll hear the thunder......but soon..soon enough Kv...Youll see the Lightning....and damnit son.....its going to strike.....and you will.........*Crowd* FEEL THE BOLT..........
Lightning: Your damn right...this interview is over..
VJ: WHOA! Lightning looks ready!!! Will he be able to defeat Scarlet KV! Will Lightning become the I-C Champion tonight for the 3rd time?!
DD: Yeah right Vince! I noticed old Bolt Breath didn't say anything about Big Foot beating his ass on Gear!
VJ: That's not what happened! Stop it!
DD: Don't tell me to stop! Lightning's afraid of the Champ!
VJ: Will you stop????! Ladies and gentlemen…we'll be back after this quick commercial break!
****Commercial***
(Camera cuts back to the GX locker room where we see Panther, Chyna, Tina, HBK, Big Foot, Blade and Lightning sitting around playing poker. Suddenly the door opens and Diamond walks in with Billy Gunn and Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley)
Diamond: Hey guys!
All: Hey Diamond!
Billy: Hey guys…and Panther!
Panther: (Starts to get up)
Chyna: Panther!
Panther: (Sits back down)
HBK: (Puffing on a cigar) Hey…now as fun as it is to be beating all of your asses in poker, Panther…I think we need to continue our search for a partner.
Billy: Hey Shawn, thanks for the offer and all, but sorry! There's no way in hell I'm teaming with that bastard Panther!
Panther: Hey Lightning…damn! All of you got matches at Slamfest, right?
Lightning: Yup.
Billy: I don't have a match at Slamfest, but I refuse to team with a bastard like…
Panther: What about X-Pac?
Chyna: I thought Three 6 killed him last year!
HBK: No, Chyna! That's just silly. Panther, that's a great idea! I'll call him up now!
Panther: Good.
Billy: Yeah! Good! I didn't wanna be your stupid partner anyway!
VJ: What about that, Dave? Could it be Panther, Shawn Michaels and X-Pac!
DD: Ya know, it would take somebody with half a brain to go up against Sniper, Triple H and Firestorm, and after that pipejob Three 6 gave X-Pac at Sin City, he'd be perfect!
VJ: Pipejob???!
DD: Yeah, skankhole! Did I stutter??!
VJ: Well…uh…pipejob.
(Ice Cube is seen backstage and he is walking into is lockeroom)
VJ: Oh my God! Ice Cube opened the door and was attacked!
DD: Who was that fool! Its Rage!
VJ: Why is Rage attacking Ice Cube they are partners! Ice Cube is down and Rage shuts the door and keeps beating him!
DD: No!!! What about the Riot MakerZ!
5 Star Lance Perfection Vs Kaos
(The camera cuts back to ringside and "Put Your Hands up" by Jadakiss plays over the PA system. The crowd cheers as Krazed walks out onto the stage wearing a white suit. He points back at the entrance and the crowd continues to cheer as Lance Perfection walks out, does a double-bicep pose and then walks down the ramp with Krazed. Perfection slides underneath the bottom rope, climbs to the top and poses as fans take pictures. The music dies down and "Role Model" plays over the PA system. The crowd cheers again as Kaos walks out onto the stage and heads down the ramp to the ring. He's wearing a Too Xtreme/Discipline Committee t-shirt. He slides into the ring and poses on the ropes. Perfection creeps up from behind and charges…)
Ding Ding Ding!!!
VJ: Look out, Kaos! OH! He just caught Perfection with a right hand!
DD: illegal!
VJ: Kaos catches him with another one! Irish whip sends Perfection into the ropes…Kaos ducks the head and Perfection with a leap frog comes off the other side…FLYING SHOULDERBLOCK!!!!!! Kaos is down…cover…1…2…kickout!
DD: What's going on with Too Xtreme and GX now, Vince?
VJ: Well I don't know.
DD: Oh yeah, I forgot, you're Canadian! No brain.
VJ: Hey, asshole! I think Kaos needs to be concentrating on this match instead of worrying about Lightning and GX! Perfection picks him up…HARD IRISH WHIP!!!!! Kaos' back just exploded off of the buckle…here comes Perfection with a bulldog…OH NO!!!!!
DD: His babies!
VJ: Kaos caught him coming off and dropped him right on the top rope! That wasn't a perfect landing for Perfection!
DD: Oh! You're a riot this week, Vince!
VJ: Thank you. Perfection is writhing in pain and here comes Kaos…BOOM!!!!!!! Hard clothesline sends him tumbling--OH! No!!! He hit the back of his head off of the steel stairs!
DD: STEEEL, Vince!!!! STEEEEL!
VJ: I see it, Dave! He may have a concussion there…Krazed is coming over to check on his man…and here comes Kaos!
DD: look out Krazed! He'll eat you!
VJ: Shut up! Kaos is behind Krazed!!! What's gonna happen here?!
DD: He touches Krazed he'll be on the floor so fast that--AAH!
VJ: Kaos has Krazed by the hair…SIDE RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP ON THE FLOOR!!!!! Krazed is down…Kaos has his legs now…wait! Here's the Sharpshooter on Krazed!!!!!!!
DD: He's retired, damn it! YES!
VJ: Perfection with a clothesline just send Kaos for a loop! He picks him up by the hair…OH! Kaos hard into the steel stairs! Perfection…he's still a little dazed after landed on the stairs…
DD: What courage by this young man. Most people take a fall like that and they're brain dead. Hey, maybe if I do that to you, Vince, you'll actually grow a brain!
VJ: I'll brain you!
DD: What's that supposed to mean?
VJ: Nevermind. Perfection has Kaos trapped in the corner now…he's putting the boots to the midsection of Kaos! He's mounting the ropes…
DD: I don't know, Vince! Do you think these Yankee-ass Philly bastards can count to 10?
VJ: You're hideous! Perfection has Kaos…1…2…3…4…5…6…7..8…9…10!!!!!! 10 punches right to the dome of Kaos! Kaos may be done for! Boot to the stomach by Perfection…he's going for a piledriver…OH! Inverted atomic drop by Kaos…small package…1…2…kickout! Kaos almost stole this one and he walks right into a knee to the mid--wait! Kaos with a schoolboy…1…2…kickout by Perfection! Both men back up…OH! Kaos just drilled him with a spinebuster!!!!!!
DD: Oh no, Vince! Kaos is going crazy in there!
VJ: He's on fire! Kaos is setting up for the Ticking Time Bomb and now Krazed is on the apron! Krazed is giving Kaos the badmouth…we've got heated words between these 2!
DD: Don't mess with Krazed, Kaos! He'll hurt you…wait a minute! Get your hands off of him! He's a manager!
VJ: Kaos has Krazed by the throat…the ref is trying to break this up…OH! Perfection from behind with a knee to the back of Kaos…RIGHT HAND BY KRAZED!!! The ref didn't see it…Perfection with a schoolboy…he has the tights…1…2…3!!!!
Ding Ding Ding!!!!!
Announcer: here is your winner: 5 Star Lance Perfection!!!!!
DD: WOW! What a debut!
VJ: He had the tights! Pefection and Krazed have just stolen a victory and look at them running off like thieves in the night!
DD: You're just jealous that you've never won anything!
VJ: I have to won something!
DD: Vince, the British Columbian Ugly Contest doesn't count!
VJ: Idiot!
(Camera cuts back to the locker room where we see Rodney Demp getting a beer. Suddenly Dan Hibiki hops out of a closet)
Dan: A HA!!!!!!! Rodney Demp! We meet at last!
Rodney: Kiss my ass!
Dan: Kiss your ass??! Fool, you cannot handle my Saiyko style! I challenge you, and you will be beaten by the greatest of all time! YAHOO!!!!!!
VJ: OH! Rodney with a boot to the midsection!!!! FLOWING DDT ON HIBIKI!!!!! DAN HIBIKI IS DOWN!!!!!!
(As Rodney looks down on Hibiki's body, he notices the Old Woman standing in the door)
Rodney: What the f…
Old Woman: RODNEY!!!!
Rodney: Who the hell are…
(Suddenly the old woman is shoved down and ANOTHER masked man runs into the room and hits Rodney with a pipe)
DD: HAHA! What in the world?!
VJ: Rodney Demp…that Old woman was shoved down…Demp is being assaulted with that pipe…who the hell is that masked man???! What the hell is going on here?!
*****Commercial*****
(After the commercial, the cameras come back to a pitch black, sold out Philadelphia arena. The camera focuses on the FireTron as a huge, red Canadian Maple Leaf shows up on the screen. The camera focuses on the Maple Leaf until red and blue strobe lights flash throughout the crowd and then both end up on the arena stage. Then "Stupify" by Disturbed plays on the arena P.A System, for about five seconds, and then pyro goes off and the "Canadian Career Killer" Johnny Havok steps out from behind the curtains. The crowd gives him a standing ovation for his great match. Johnny still doesn't care what the fans think of him, and continues walking to the ring. He climbs through the ropes and flexes his arms on all four turnbuckles. After he is done taunting the crowd, he asks for a microphone from the ring announcer. After he is tossed up a mic, he waits for the crowd to stop cheering.)
Johnny Havok: I'm not out here tonight for a standing ovation, so everyone sit your fat asses down. Now Murder Souljah, I told you that I was gonna shut your bitch ass mouth for you, and I did, by Havok Bombing you through a flaming table!! How'd that feel you son of a bitch!? Just wait for the Pay-Per-View...When you'll be stuck with me 1-on-1, in a hell in a cell, No DQ, TLC match! You think that Havok Bomb was bad?? Wait until I get the IMPULSE. You haven't seen or felt pain yet, no you haven't little man. You haven't even seen me mad yet. Just wait until Slamfest. You think a Havok Bomb through a flaming table is bad...well wait till you get the Havok Impulse from the top of a ladder through a stack of two tables. Then you'll be hurting. So rest up you sorry son of a bitch, cuz you gonna need all the energy you can get. Now another thing...you were saying that you were gonna murder me?? Well it looks like the other way around. And i'm the biggest jackass?? Well thanks for the compliment. Oh and about being beter than you, have I showed you how good I am yet?? Have you noticed that when it's crunch time, I am as good as anybody?! So come Slamfest, you had better be ready, cuz when the IMPULSE comes..there's NO WAY to stop it!!!
(After Johnny Havok is done speaking, he tosses the microphone back to the announcer and walks up the stage, with "Stupify" by Disturbed playing over the arena's P.A system. The scene then cuts back to Rodney's locker room where he is being looked after by EMTs. The Old Woman is standing over him.)
VJ: Well folks…moments ago Rodney Demp was attacked by some unknown man…
DD: This is getting ridiculous, Vince! All of these damn masked men are starting to piss me off!
VJ: There jave been a lot of them…who is that Old Woman? She's watching over Rodney…who is this woman and what is her connection to Rodney Demp!
DD: Screw that bitch! Is Demp gonna be able to fight Big Foot for the title tonight?!
(The scene opens up and Ice Cube is knocking on the Collision lockeroom)
Ice Cube: Insane you were right...I owe you an appology, and about me joining Collision, count me in
Insane: Good, now we can take out Rage, now that he is stranded alone!
VJ: Oh my God, Dave!!!!! Ice Cube has just…
DD: I heard what they said damn it!!!!! Shut the hell up!
VJ: The Riot Makerz have disintegrated here tonight on the Slam!!!!!
X-Treme Title I Quit Match: The Extremist (Champion) Vs Rage :::Scarlet KV is the guest ref:::
("Dragula"starts up over the PA system and a red spotlight roams the arena. The crowd boos as Scarlet KV walks out. He's wearing his hand blade and a referee shirt. He slides into the ring, stands in the corner and the music dies down. "Whatever" starts up over the PA system and the crowd cheers as the Extremist walks out onto the stage carrying the X-Treme Title belt. He climbs into the ring and goes face to face with KV as the music dies down in the background)
VJ: This match is gonna be intense! There's been a rivalry between Rage and the Extremist over the X-Treme Title for the past few weeks, but after Rage's brutal assault on In High Gear it has become personal between the 2!
DD: Yeah…I think Rage has gone crazy! 1st we saw that attack on the Extremist, then tonight he attacked Ice Cube! What the hell has gotten into that idiot!
VJ: Well we saw Ice Cube backstage with Insane…I don’t know what to say about that, but perhaps he will try to get revenge on Rage during this match!
(The lights go out completely and red pyrooes off on the stage. "Fear" starts up over the PA system and we hear what sounds like a car engine in the background)
DD: Vince…did you fart?
VJ: NO!!!!! It sounds like a car or something.
DD: Don't lie to me you dirty ass motherf*cker! You busted your ass, didn't you???!
("Fear continues to play over the PA system as the camera focuses on the entrance. We see 2 white lights coming out of the entrance…they begin to get bigger as if they're getting closer to the ring.)
VJ: What in the world…oh no! Dave…it couldn't be!
DD: Oh my God! It's the Evil Gamblor: Ruler of the Universe!!!!!! He's come to take over the NFWA and kill us all!!!!!!!
VJ: You jackass…that's a car!!!! It's Rage!!!! Rage is driving a car out to the ring! What the hell is the matter with that son of a bitch?!?
DD: I told you, Vince! He's crazy!!!!
VJ: Look at that look on the Extremist's face…do you think that Rage is gonna try and run…oh no! Extremist has a sledgehammer!
DD: This is gonna be nasty! Look out Rage!
VJ: Extremist just grabbed a sledgehammer and he's headed towards that car…OH!!!!! He just shattered the windsheild with that sledgehammer!!!!
Ding Ding Ding!!!!
DD: Vince, this is psychotic!
VJ: The Extremist is beating up that car with the sledgehammer!!!! Glass is everywhere…on the floor, in the crowd…if 1 of those fans get cut we're gonna ger sued! The Extremist just opened the door of that car…rage just pulled him inside!
DD: here we go, Vinny!
VJ: For the 2nd week in a row we've got an X-Treme Title match going on inside of an automobile!!!!!! Rage and The Extremist are trying to kill one another in there?!
DD: Can you see what's going on?!
VJ: No I can't! This match is already starting out…look!!!!! The Extremist is trying to shove Rage through what's left of that windshield! Rage is being sliced open by that glass!!!! Oh my God…Scarlet KV, get in there and do something about this!!!
DD: Oh my God!!!!! Look at Rage, Vince!
VJ: Rage just crawled out through the windshield…he's bleeding from the midsection and his face is cut. The Extremist is trying to crawl out through the windshield now but Rage has the sledgehammer! Rage has that sledgehammer…look out!!!!! OH!!!!!!!!! Hard shot right to the dome of the Extremist!!!!
DD: he cracked his head like an egg, Vince!!!
VJ: He just drove that hammer right into the back of the head and now what is he doing?! He's going for a camel clutch on the hood of that car…OH MY GOODNESS! He's using that sledgehammer to choke out the Extremist!!!! We've got a submission hold on the hood of a car!!!!! This is a 1st!!!!
DD: This is crazy! If they come over here I quit!
VJ: Scarlet KV is over by that car and he's asking The Extremist if he gives up…how the hell did he get this job, anyway?!
DD: Shut up! When you're in the Legion of Destruction you can do whatever you want!
VJ: Knowing that pyschopath he might try to attack the winner and steal the belt again! Rage just broke the hold cuz The Extremist wouldn't give up…my God! That white car has been drenched in blood! Rage now…he's standing over the body of the Extremist…he picks him up by the hair…he just said "This is for you, Ice Cube"! What's that supposed to--TOTAL ANNIHILATION!!!!!!! Total Annihilation on the roof of that car!!! The Extremisr is done!!!! He has to be!!!!
DD: yeah, but Rage has to make him say I Quit!
VJ: KV is checking on the Extremist…if he goes unconscious the match is over…oh my God! He's getting up after Total Annihilation!!!
DD: He's on steroids!!!!!!
VJ: Rage…he's shocked! The Extremist is back up to one--damn it son of a bitch!!!!!!!!
DD: Potty mouth!
VJ: Rage with another sledgehammer shot just knocked the Extremist right off of the car!!!!! He's lying on the steel ramp and Rage just jumped back into that car!
DD: He's gonna run him over!
VJ: This is going too far! Rage is gonna try to run the Extremist over…NO!!!!! Don't do it!!!!! OH!!!!! The Extremist smartly rolled off of the ramp…how he's even conscious I'll never know and he's getting back to his feet!!!! He's not human!
DD: Yeah! He must be Canadian!
VJ: Will you stop with the Canada comments???! The Extremist is trying to get back to his feet…Rage has him by the hair and he catches a right hand to the stomach!!!!! There's another!!!!!!! The Extremist is trying to mount an offensive…he's back to his feet!!!!!!! He's hammering Rage with right hands!!!!! Rage falls back into the ramp and The Extremist is beating him to a blooddy pulp!!!!! Rage is going down! Rage is going down! Rage is going…OH NO!!!!!!!!!!
DD: HAHA! He went down alright!
VJ: Low blow by Rage sends the Extremist down to his knees! Rage…what the hell is that?! He just pulled a chain out…he's choking the Extremist with that chain!!!!! Rage is trying to drag the Extremist up the ramp by that chain…Scarlet KV isn't doing anything about this! Why doesn't he do something?!
DD: He's just chillin'! Call the match, skankhole!
VJ: Rage has dragged the Extremist to the stage by the chain and now what the hell is that nut doing?! He's climbing up the Firetron!!!!!
DD: He's not gonna jump, is he?!
VJ: I don't know that the hell is going through Rage's mind tonight! Rage is climbing the Firetron and THE EXTREMIST IS BACK UP!!!!!! What does it take to put this man down?!
DD: (Aims his gun at the Extremist)
VJ: (Slapping the gun out of his hand) STOP IT!!!!!!!!!! The Extremist is back up and he's climbing the Firetron behind Rage!!!!!!! We've got both men climbing to the top of the Firetron!
DD: that thing is slanted! They need to be careful!
VJ: Rage is up there 1st…here comes the Extremist! But Rage is waiting for him…
DD: They're about 50ft in the air!
VJ: if 1 of them falls from up there…The Extremist is pulling himself up but rage stepped on his hand!!!!!
DD: Oh my God! HE'S GONNA DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!
VJ: Will you SHUT UP!!!!!!!????? Damn it! The Extremist is hanging from the top of the Firetron by 1 arm…OH!!!!! He just used the other arm to hit Rage with a low blow!!!!
DD: he has NO honor!
VJ: Rage is writhing in pain on top of the Firetron and now the Extremist is pulling himself up…wait a minute…WAIT!!!! NO!!!!!!!! OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! He just chokeslammed Rage from the top of the Firetron through a table on the floor below!!!!!!!! Rage has been destroyed!!!!!!!! My God he's dead!!!!!!!!!!
DD: Somebody needs to put this idiot Extremist in jail!!!!!! He's a murderer! A damn murderer!!!!!
VJ: He's standing tall on top of the…wait! He's getting dizzy! It looks like those sledgehammer shots are finally starting to take it's toll on the Extremist and look out!!!!! NO!!!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DD: NOW HE'S DEAD!!!!!!!!!!
VJ: The Extremist just fell off of the Firetron!!!!! He crashed hard into the concrete floor!!!!!!! Rage and Extremist are both down and out! Scarlet KV is standing over the both of them…my goodness I can't believe what we've seen! He just said he's gonna put down a 10 count on both men!
Scarlet KV: 1…2…3…4….5…
DD: If they don't get up the match is over?!
VJ: Yes! It will be a draw!
Scarlet KV: 6…7…8…9…
DD: Rage is getting back up!!!!!!
VJ: NOOOOOOO!!!!
Scarlet KV: 10!!!!!!!
Ding Ding Ding!!!!!!!
Announcer: Because The Extremist was unable to answer the referee's 10-count, your winner, and NEW NFWA X-Treme Champion: RAGE!!!!!!!!!
VJ: DAMN THAT NO GOOD SON OF A BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!
DD: Hey! Why don't you watch your fuckin' mouth! We got fuckin kidz watching the fuckin show! Shut the fuck up, ok!!!!!
VJ: Rage just barely escaped with the X-Treme Title…both of these men will need to be carried out of here! What a match! Extremist would still be Champion is he hadn't fallen from the Firetron!
DD: HA! He can't fool me! I bet he tried to commit suicide, cuz once Rage got back up he knew he was gonna whoop his ass!
VJ: Well you can make up all of the stories you wanna make, but Rage NEVER MADE THE EXTREMIST SAY "I QUIT!"!!! Remember that, Dave!
DD: I wish your father had said "I Quit" in the back seat of that Pinto the night they were conceiving your dumb ass! That way I wouldn't be forced to put up with you!
VJ: You heathen!
(Camera cuts to the hallway outside of the GX locker room where Panther is pacing back and forth waiting for HBK. Diamond walks out of the locker room carrying the Women's Title belt)
Diamond: Hey Panther!
Panther: Hey. Need something?
Diamond: Well…actually yeah! I need to know what the hell is going on with you and Bill…
Tina: (Running up to Panther) Panther! I gotta tell you something!
Diamond: Can't it wait?!
Tina: Shawn talked to X-Pac! He said no!
Panther: WHAT????! And after I let him into the Dynasty…gave him money to support his drug habit and everything, he has the nerve to say no!
Tina: Yeah! Next time try not to book SlamFest on the same day as the National Marajuana convention!
Panther: Damn it! Diamond, I'll talk to you later.
Diamond: But…
(Panther runs off, leaving Diamond and Tina alone. Diamond shoves Tina down and walks out to the arena)
DD: HAHAHA! Not much time left Panther!!!!
VJ: Ladies and gentlemen, up next, Triple Threat Match for the Women's Title: Diamond Vs Tina and Trish Stratus!!!!!!
*****Commercial*****
(Rodney Demp is seen walking the halls looking for the Masked Man. He goes through a door to the parking lot and the Masked Man is behind the door. Rodney walks by him, and the Masked Man nails him with a lead pipe. He leaves him laying in the parking lot bleeding. The Masked Man jumps in a nearby car, and drives away.)
DD: HAHA!
VJ: Who is that masked man????!
Women's Title: Diamond (Champion) Vs Trish Stratus Vs Tina
(Fire engulfs the stage and an orange light shines over the arena. "Rollin (Urban Assault Vehicle)" blasts over the PA system and the crowd boos loudly. Firestorm rides out onto the stage on his motorcycle. Trish Stratus is on the back. They ride down the ramp, Firestorm parks his bike in he aisle, Trish hops off and climbs into the ring. The music dies down and "It just feels right" starts up over the PA system. The lights begin to flicker on and off, green fireworks go off on the stage and pink spotlights roam the arena. The crowd cheers as Tina walks out onto the stage and poses. With her hair dyed purple and wearing a black outfit with "THE BADDEST CHICK" on the back of her tights, she walks down the ramp, flips off Firestorm in the aisle then climbs into the ring and gets into Trish's face as her music dies down. Black Diamond starts up over the PA system, red, blue and purple lights shine over the arena and pyro goes off on the stage. The crowd cheers again as Diamond walks out with the Women's title on her shoulder, "The One" Billy Gunn and Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley at her side. They all walk down to the ring and when she gets there, she goes face to face with Tina. She hands her belt over to referee Stephanie Jenkins and she calls for the bell)
Ding Ding Ding!!!
VJ: Tina and Diamond are face to face, nose to nose, eye to eye…
DD: Mouth to mouth!
VJ: Stop it!!!!!! Pervert! They're both GX members but there appears to be a little bit of tension between those…two…hey Dave…do they kinda look alike to you?
DD: Of course not!!!!! Tina's hair is purple! Damn freak!
VJ: Maybe she's having an identity crisis or something…watch Trish…OH!!!!!! Diamond nails her with a right hand!!! Tina follows up with 1 of her own! Diamond and Tina…they're mauling Trish Stratus!!!!! Firestorm doesn't like this 1 bit!!!!! He's up on the ring apron…OH!!!!!! Tina just blasted him with a low blow…Billy Gunn with a clothesline just ran right through Firestorm!!!!!! Billy Gunn…Billy Gunn is mauling the Prez of the NFWA!!!!
DD: WHAT A HEATHEN!!!!!!!!!!!!! He fights with Panther, he fights with Firestorm! He's so anti-social!
VJ: Diamond whips…
DD: I bet Billy Gunn is the kinda guy that likes to snatch old lady's walkers just so he can beat them over the head with it! He should be dragged out into the street and shot! As a matter of fact…(pulls out a bow and arrow and shoots at Billy. The arrow bounces off of the ringpost and hits the ring announcer in the foot)
VJ: Idiot! Trish is backed in the buckle and here comes Diamond…DIAMOND ELBOW!!!! Trish is dazed…Tina with a boot to the stomach…PICTURE PERFECT DDTINA!!!!!! Trish Stratus is done! Tina with the cover…1…2…what????! That's Merlino!!!! Joey Merlino just jumped out of the crowd and pulled Tina to the floor! What the hell is the meaning of that?!
DD: Maybe he's got a fetish for chicks with purple hair!
VJ: Merlino is in Tina's face…oh what the hell is that???! He just slapped Tina!!!!! Those men in the black suits just grabbed Tina by the hair…what in the hell????!
DD: They're kidnapping Tina!!!!!!
VJ: Merlino just jumped back into the crowd and now the Mob is leaving with Tina!!!! Why in the hell are they doing this?!
(Merlino and the men run out through the parking lot and out onto the street where a limo is waiting. They toss her in the back of the limo, hop in with her and then speed off down the street)
VJ: Where in the hell are they going with her?!
DD: Maybe they're making her an offer she can't refuse. She always was a slut, ya know!
VJ: Jackass! Diamond barely did a thing to help out Tina. She has Trish…DIAMOND DROP!!!!!! Trish is done…it's the Posse!!!! Angel, Jovan and Maria are in the ring and they're attacking Diamond!!!!!
Ding Ding Ding!!!!
Announcer: here is your winner, as a result of a DQ: Diamond!!!!!
VJ: Diamond is the winner but she's being assaulted by the Posse!
(Camera cuts back in the locker room and we see GX's dressing room locked. The camera cuts back to the ring and we see Sniper, Triple H and Rebecca coming out to the ring)
DD: HAHAHA! This is gonna be pretty, Vince!
VJ: Diamond is all alone…Billy Gunn is being attacked on the floor by Jamal and Fredo…Triple H and Rebecca are getting into the ring! They're sitting back watching Diamond get attacked by--STEPHANIE WITH A SPEAR ON REBECCA!!!!!!
DD: She's crazy!!!
VJ: Stephanie McMahon is tearing into Rebecca…oh no!! Triple H has Stephanie by the hair! That's his wife, damn it! That's his wife! PEDIGREE ON STEPHANIE MCMAHON!!!!!!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE HE DID THAT!!!!!!!
DD: That homewrecker!
VJ: Stephanie is down in the ring…Sniper and Firestorm just told the Posse to get Diamond…now they're dragging Diamond backstage!!!!!! What in the world is going on????
*****Commercial*****
(Camera cuts backstage where we see Panther and Shawn Michaels talking to former NFWA superstar Three 6. The crowd cheers wildly when they see his image on the Firetron)
Three 6: Now let me get this straight…you want me…to team with you at the PPV?
HBK: Look, I've seen you're matches…I know you're good! If anybody can help us beat Firestorm's ass it's you!
Panther: Yeah…maybe you could give him 1 of them pipejobs…like you gave X-Pac.
Three 6: PIPEJOB????! Well…I'm sorry. It's not that I'm not flattered…but I'm in retirement. I'm having fun now…doin what I always wanted to do?
Panther: Rappin?
Three 6: nah, man! I just opened up a soul food chain. I call it "Grits and Bitches"! You like that?!
Panther: Um…yeah. Aight man, thanks anyway!
(Three 6 walks away and suddenly Chyna comes running up to Panther and HBK)
Chyna: Panther…Tina got kidnapped!!!!
Panther: Huh?!
Chyna: The Mob kidnapped Tina!!!!!!
Panther: Damn it! You know where they went?!
Chyna: I don't know! They got in a limo.
Panther: Sh*t! Aight…we gotta get her back.
(Panther and Chyna walk towards the parking lot)
HBK: Whoa! Hey Panther…we gotta find that partner!!!!! Panther!!!!! Damn it!!!!!
(The camera cuts to the LoD/Posse locker room where Firestorm walks in with Diamond. has her by the throat, he brings her over to a dark corner, and pulls a chain spreading light threw it. Standing their HHH and Rebeca. Rebeca slaps her and when she tries to retaliate Firestormgrabs her by the throught and throws her against the wall holding her off the ground.
Firestorm:Dimond, dimond. We could have been friends. Why you gota go bad mouth me like that? I have feelings also, ha. Whats the matter dimond your face is getting kinda purple. Dimond, you might want to stop if the fag billy gun sees this he will think your ugly, cause you know that Purple clashes with your blond hair.
HHH:Bringing my wif-EX-wife? You god damn bitch!
(He punches her as hard as he can directly in the nose as Dimond starts to cry and blood comes from her nose,she is struggling for air still being choked.)
HHH:I am sorry, did that hurt? Did that hu-
(Billy gun from behind nails him with a spear Firestorm picks billy up and bashes his head against the wall. Dimond is on the floor crying and struggling for air. Rebeca starts to kick her in the ribs. HHH and Firestorm kick the crap out of "the one billy gun" They leave him laying unconcious and walk back to the locker room to find GX dismanteled and the posse/LoD standing over them. Firestorm and Sniper slap hands)
VJ: Oh my God!!!!! Diamond has just been assaulted!!!!! GX is down!!!!!! Folks…what is gonna happen next?!
DD: I'll tell ya! Lightning's gonna lose!!!!!!!!
****Commercial****
(Camera cuts out to the parking lot where we see Rodney Demp talking to someone in a car)
DD: Who's that?!
I-C Title: Scarlet KV (Champion) Vs Lightning
("Dragula" starts up over the PA system and the crowd boos. Scarlet KV walks down to the ring accompanied by Firestorm and Trish. Scarlet slides into the ring as Firestorm and Trish head over to the commentary table)
DD: HAHA! Look Vince! We're being graced with the presence of our fan friendly Prez!!!!!! And our lovely Co-Booker Trish!
VJ: Oh this is great! Those bastards make me sick! How could they do what they did to Diamond! Welcome Firestorm!
Firestorm: Hi!
DD: he was talking all kinds of trash on you before you came over here!
Firestorm: Oh really?!
VJ: Now c'mon!
Trish: Yeah…and I noticed you didn't say hi to me! What, you don't want us over here or something?! You got a problem with us, Vince Johnson!
VJ: Now…
DD: And Trish, he was making fun of Canada all night long! Personally I love Canada!!!!!!
VJ: I'M FROM CAN…(Firestorm grabs Vince by the throat and chokeslams him through the table)
DD: HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!
Firestorm: He's lucky I didn't fire his ass…
(A lightning bolt strikes the stage and "Ride the Lightning" starts up over the PA system as Lightning walks out from the ring. He's limping from the attack back in the locker room)
Trish: My, Firestorm! Lightning looks a little hurt! I wonder what happened to him!
DD: HA! Knowing that jackoff he was probably in the back drinking that cheap whisky, got drunk and broke his leg or soemthing!
Firestorm: Wait…is he coming over here?!
DD: He's not that stupid…wait a minute! This is Lightning I'm talking about! Of course he's that stupid…AHHH!!!!!
Trish: Who do you think you are???!
DD: Lightning just hit the Prez!!!!! Lightning and Prez Firestorm are fighting over here….LIGHTNING BOLT!!!!!!! He just KO'd Firestorm!!! You kamikaze jackoff!!!! Get him KV!!!!
Ding Ding Ding!!!!
DD: Yeah! This match is underway now! Lightning is getting his ass beat by Scarlet KV on the floor…OH!!!! He just hit him with a right hand! There's another!!! C'mon Scarlet!
Trish: Get the hand blade and kill him, KV!!!! Kill him!
DD: Damn! Kinda bloodthirsty, ain't ya Trish?
Trish: Well…yeah!!!
DD: Scarlet is trying to get that hand blade…oh boy! Lightning's gonna die!!! He's gonna die…HAHA--NO!!!!! Lightning with a boot to the stomach and he just slammed his head into the Scottish Announce Table!!!!! Lightning has KV up…OH NO!!!!! He's got him up for a gorilla press…he just threw him into the crowd!!!!!! Damn it! That idiot!
Trish: What the hell is the matter with him???!
DD: He's lucky that you and Sniper don't fire his ass! Lightning is climbing into the crowd after KV…HAHAHA! He just clipped Lightning's knee!!! Break his leg! Break his leg!! HAHAHAA! He broke his leg!!! Break it again!! HAHAHAHAHA! Scarlet KV is the man, Trish!
Trish: Yeah! Who knows? If he can take out Lightning, maybe we'll have a World Title for him in the future!
DD: Yeah! He's 10 times better than that flea bitten faggot Big Foot! KV just tossed Lightning over the barricade and now they're headed back into the ring. Eww! Trish, Vince is slobbering on my new suede shoes! (Kicks Vince in the face) Close your mouth! Damn skankhole!
Trish: Dave, you're something else!
DD: Hey…Firestorm isn't looking right now, maybe you and me can…OH NO!!!!! Lightning just tossed KV into the buckle!!!! He's stomping a mudhole in him!!! He's too clean to be soiled by Lightning's dirty feet! Fire his ass Trish!
Trish: C'Mon, Scarlet!
DD: Irish whip by Lightning sends KV crashing into the buckle…boot to the stomach…RUNNNG POWERBOMB!!! 1…2…kickout!!! Lightning had the tights!!!!! What a cheater! He picks KV up and sets him on the top rope…he's going for the Lightning Rod!!!!!
Trish: C'mon Scarlet! Get…YES!!!!!!!!!!
DD: HAHAHAHAAHHA!!!!!! He just stabbed Lightning in the knee!!!!! Lightning is down!!!! Lightning is done!!! He's done!!! Lightning is lying on the mat and he's bleeding! Look at the blood, Trish!!!! BLOOOOOOD! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Trish: Will you shut the hell up???! You're so damn annoying!
DD: Sorry! You pissed in your bath water? KV is stand on he top rope…he's gonna drive that hand blade right into the heart of Lightning! I can see it now! Here is comes…NOOOO!!!!!! Lightning moved!!!
Trish: Damn it, Scarlet!!!!!
DD: His hand is caught in the ring!!!!! C'mon KV!!!!! Lightning is starting to get up…he's bleeding! Pull your hand out of the mat…there! Oh, you're gonna die, Lightning! Scarlet swings with the hand blade…he missed! NOOOOO! LIGHTNING BOLT!!!!!!! Lightning with the cover…1…2…NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Ding Ding Ding!!!!
Announcer: here is your winner, and NEW NFWA I-C Champion…Light…
DD: OH! Firestorm is back up! He just KO'D the announcer! You're gonna get it now Lightning! You're gonna get it! Firestorm has Lightning by the throat…Lightning with a low blow…NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! He just gave him another Lightning Bolt!!!!!!
Trish: This is bullsh*t!!!!!!!! Lightning may have won this one, but as the booker I promise that Scarlet KV is gonna kick his ass on Tuesday Night! (Throws down her headset and goes into the ring to check on Firestorm)
DD: Oh no…my heart!
(Camera cuts backstage where we see Ice Cube walking to the ring)
DD: Hey! It's Ice Cube!!!!
*****Commercial****
(When the break ends, we see Ice Cube standing in the ring with a mic)
Ice Cube: Rage...You messed up...Thats why I got my new partner..Insane!
(Insane comes to ring)
Insane: Rage I told Ice Cube but he thought you would not turn on him, he was wrong and now both of us are gonna make yoiu wish you were never born!
Ice Cube: Rage..GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE!
DD: Rage isn't dead?!
(Rage comes to ring)
Rage: Ya know...Insane, i never liked ya much, and honestly I don't think Ice Cube does much either!
Ice Cube: How would ya get that idea?
Rage: Because Insane is about to get a Riot MakerZ ass kicking!
Ice Cube: Hell ya!
VJ: Oh myGod whats going oN! Rage and Ice Cube are beating on Insane! Total Anilahation..Ice Breaker!
Ice Cube: DUmb fucker! Don't tell Rage I am turning on him! Don't tell me Rage is turning on me...YOU FUCKED WITH THE RIOT MAKERZ, now you got burned!
(The Riot Makerz walk back to the locker room, the camera cuts back to the GX locker room where we see Big Foot preparing for his match and Shawn Michaels talking on the phone)
DD: Times running out, Shawn!!!!!
VJ: Panther and Chyna have gone to look for Tina…Shawn Michaels is all alone! Ladies and gentlemen up next, it's Big Foot Vs Rodney! Don't go away! The Title's on the line!!!!!!
****Commercial****
(Camera cuts back to the locker room where we see Ice Cube again locking the GX locker room)
VJ: Not again!!!!
DD: Hush, hussy!!!!
NFWA World Title: Big Foot (Champion) Vs Rodney Demp
(The lights go out as Yellow, blue, red, orange, and gray lights flicker on and off. Then Big Foot by Alcatrazz plays through the arena as pyros shoot up from the stage and two lightning bolts cris cross through the stage. Then Big Foot walks out with the New Heavyweight Title wrapped in barbed wire that Lightning gave him. Then he stands in the middle of the ramp and holds it in the air, as the crowd cheers wildly. Then he rolls in the ring and raises the World Belt into the air as the crowd cheers. His music dies down and the lights flicker blue and go out. When they come back on, Rodney Demp is in the ring and he attacks Big Foot from behind)
Ding Ding Ding!!!!
VJ: Here we go!!!!!! Demp has been attacked twice tonight! You have to wonder what kinda condition he's in!
DD: he's in good enough condition to beat Big Foot's fat ass!
VJ: Demp backs Big Foot to the buckle and he's stomping away to the midsection! Irish whip by Demp sends Big Foot across to the other buckle…OH!!!!!!! Big Boot right to the face of Demp!!!
DD: He knocked his face into the 8th row!
VJ: Big Foot picks Demp up…he lifts him high over his head for a gorilla press…NO! Demp with a thumb to the eye of Big Foot…watch Rodney! FLOWING DDT---BLOCKED!!!! Big Foot picks Rodney up…he just tossed him up over the top rope!!! Demp crashes hard off of the arena floor…
(Fire engulfs the stage as "Rollin (Urban Assault Vehicle)" plays over the PA system. The crowd boos as the 9th Street Posse, Triple H and the Legion of Destruction walk out to the ring)
VJ: What on earth is going on now?!
DD: Hey! The LoD is coming out to help their boy Rodney!!!! He's gonna bring the World Ttitle to the LoD where it belongs!!!
VJ: The Natural Disasters are helping Rodney back to his feet…WAIT A MINUTE!!!!! MELTDOWN ON RODNEY!!!! OH NO! Big splash to the ribs by Iceberg!!! What the hell is going on????!
DD: HAHAHAHA!
VJ: Scarlet KV is down here now…he's doing a number Rodney!!! Demp is down! Firestorm is laughing! What a hideous son of a bitch!!!!
DD: You wanna get chokeslammed again, don't you?!
Firestorm:Man, you were cool. One of the best. But then Killa left and you got all shity. Barley ever here, not making promos then bitching that we are neglecting you from LoD? Man I would have been glad to keep you here, but when you bitch, it gets old. Peace out little man, Ha!
VJ: What a bastard Firestorm is…
(The lights go out and "Break Stuff" starts up over the PA system)
DD: Aww Vince!!!! What the hell is going on now???!
VJ: The lights are out and we hear Rodney's music playing again! What's going on?!
(The lights come back on and Killa is standing behind Firestorm with a chair)
VJ and DD: OH MY GOD!!!!! IT'S KILLA!!!!!!!!!
DD: He's gonna beat Demp's ass too..NO!!!!!
VJ: He just drilled the Prez with a chairshot! Firestorm is down…KV catches one! Here comes Sniper from behind…Sniper catches one! There's a shot for Iceberg! We've got officials out here to break this fight up on the floor…
DD: Fight?! Killa's being a bastard!!!!!!
VJ: Big Foot is out to the floor and he's helping the Elites out! We've got Big Foot and the Elites fighting the LoD/Posse on the floor!!!!!!!
DD: Vince, do something about this!!!
VJ: Wait a minute! Big Foot just grabbed Demp by the hair and tossed him into the ring…OH!!!!!! Killa just nailed Big Foot in the head with a chairshot when he was getting back into the ring!!!
DD: NO FAIR!!!!!
VJ: Killa just nailed Big Foot and watch Demp…FLOWING DDT!!!!!!! BIG FOOT IS DOWN! WE'VE GOT A NEW CHAMP!!!!!! 1…2…ICE CUBE!!!!!!!
Ding Ding Ding!!!!
Announcer: here is your winner, as a result of a DQ: Rodney Demp!!!!!
VJ: That no good bastard Ice Cube just cost Demp the belt!!!!!!!!
DD: Serves that homo right!
VJ: He just came into the ring and hit Demp in the back of the head with a leg of lamb…what the hell???! Killa is in the ring!! He's beating the hell out of Ice Cube!!!!! Killa is trying to destroy Ice Cube in the ring!
DD: That damn fornicator…we've got more cops!!!!
VJ: The police are out…they're cuffing Killa!!!! Killa and Rodney are being cuffed!!!! This is disgusting!!!! GX is locked in their dressing room again and watch Ice Cube now…ICE BREAKER!!!!! Big Foot just got nailed with the Ice Breaker!!!!! My God! What's going on???
Ice Cube: Big Foot..I had you beat..You know...I know it..The fans know it! And thats why the title WILL NOT be changing hands until Ice Cube gets another shot! Who is this Demp fucker? A old wached up wrestler? Maybe 2 years ago you could be here Demp but not know! No one to help you! Oh wait I have some friends Big Foot!
(The lights go out and you here a animal roar and claws slash on the Firetron)
VJ: Oh my God its A Big Foot! Sashquash! And the police!
Big Foot: U's tuk mi name! Mu's no think fair! U b arestid!
(Cops arrest Big Foot)
Ice Cube: Paybacks a bitch aint it, and jsut remember! I am not messingwith you..YOUR MESSING WITH ME!!!
VJ: This is horrible! Rodney has been screwed out of the World Title and Big Foot is going to jail!!!!!
DD: HAHA! What goes around comes around!!!!!
*****Commercial*****
(Camera cuts to the parking lot where we see The Riot Makerz leaving the arena when suddenly a red hummer pulls up)
VJ: We're back…what the hell is going on???! We've got a car pulling…OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!! THAT CAR JUST RAN OVER THE RIOT MAKERZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DD: WHAT IN THE WORLD IS THAT?????!
VJ: It's the Elites!! Killa and Demp were in that hummer!!!! They're attacking the Riot Makerz out in the parking lot!!!!!
DD: get the cops back out here!!! That's attempted vehicular homicide!!! Somebody help the Riot Makerz!!!!!!
(Camera cuts back out to the ring where we see the LoD and the Posse)
Sniper: Well…I know Panther left, but Michaels, your time is up! Get your ass out here and let us know who your partner is!!!
("Sexy Boy" starts up over the PA system and the crowd cheers as Shawn Michaels walks out onto the stage. His music dies down)
Sniper: OK, you know the stip, no partner, you and Panther are both gone! So do you have a partner???
HBK: Now Snip…
(4 Huge pyro blasts go off on he stage. "You, Me, Him and Her" blasts over the PA system and the crowd goes crazy as Panther, Chyna and Tina walk out beside HBK. The music dies down again)
Sniper: I'm glad your tardy ass could join us for this discussion! But where in the hell is your partner?!
Panther: (takes the mic from HBK) HAHA! Now Sniper, I bet you think that we don't have a p…
("I've got it all" starts up over the PA system. Panther looks pissed)
DD: This is bullsh*t, Vince! Where the hell is their partner???
VJ: I have…it's Billy Gunn!!!!! It's "the One" Billy Gunn! What's he doing out here!
(The music dies down and Billy takes the mic)
Billy: Triple H, Firestorm, Sniper, when you put your hands on Steph, when you put your hands on me, and when you put your hands on Diamond you made the biggest mistake of your life! Now it's payback time! Now me and Panther don't get along, but I damn sure will stand by his side and Shawn's side if it means I get to kick your asses at the PPV! So you wanna know who the partner is…IT'S ME!!!!!!!! Panther, Shawn, what do you say????
Panther: (Looking annoyed) Man…GET YOUR DUMB ASS BACK TO THE LOCKER ROOM!!!!!!
DD: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!
VJ: That was mean.
Panther: Sniper, to answer your question the partner is Chyna! Now, it doesn't matter if it's 3 on 3, 3 on 2, 1 on 1,what you're gonna find out at the PPV is that this is STILL MY SHOW, that is STILL MY RING, and things around the NFWA will ALWAYS AND FOREVER be going the Panther's way! Why??
Crowd: CUZ THERE CAN'T BE ANY OTHER WAY!!!
HBK: So until SlamFest, we got 2 words for ya…
Crowd: SUCK IT!!!!!!!!!
("You, Me, Him and Her" starts up again)
VJ: So it's Panther, HBK and Chyna???!
DD: they are soooo gonna get their asses whipped at the PPV!!!!!
(A sign flashes on the Firetron that says "The Man is back")
DD: What the hell???!
VJ: "the Man is back"??? What does that mean? Fans, thanx for joining us! We'll see ya next week on Gear!!!!!
©2001 NFWA Productions, Inc.