DD: Vince, when the hell are we going back to Delaware?!

VJ: I don't know. But we're in PHOENIX tonight!

DD: F*ck Phoenix! This place is a pisshole! As a matter of fact, I'd tell this whole state to kiss my ass if I wasn't afraid they'd infect it.

VJ: Yeah that's even worse than having gonorrhea!

DD: Much worse.

VJ: Well folks we have a big main event tonight as Big Foot defends the World Title against Ice Cube! We've also got Krazed going 1 on 1 with Squirrel, and get this! Kaos has challenged Lightning to a public confrontation here tonight!!!!!!!

DD: MAN! Do you think that punk ass Lightning is gonna take Kaos up on his offer?!

VJ: It's GX! GX has arrived here tonight! I've got a feeling that this is gonna be a night we won't forget!

DD: Is that Billy Gunn?!

DD: HAHA! Look, Vince! It's my new heroes!

VJ: It's Ice Cube and that damn Rage! They're back together after Rage's actions this past Tuesday Night on Gear…I still can't believe that! What do they have planned for tonight?!

DD: Ice Cube's planning on beating Big Foot's fat ass and snatching that World Title away from him!

DD: Aw crap…they're not headed out here, are they???!

VJ: They may very well be! Ladies and gentlemen, don't touch that dial! All hell is gonna break loose tonight!

Big Foot: A lot can happen in a week, can't it?

DD: Faggot.

VJ: Stop it!

Big Foot: Last week…a lot went down. 1^st we've got Too Xtreme! The new NFWA Discipline Committee, right, Panther? They're supposed to be GX allies, right? Well last week they showed the whole world what they're all about when they attacked set up Lightning in the parking lot! Then…we've got Blade going up against Dan Hibiki, of all people! Then out of no where our buddy Ice Cube shows up and gives him the Ice Breaker, turning his back on GX! And then last week…my own cousin Lightning won the Triple Deck Cell match and he faces the World Champion, ME, at Slam Fest! It didn’t end there! Let's go to In High Gear! Just when we had enough going on in the NFWA, Rage wants to go and turn his backs on the people that made him! He wants to do that, well fine! Tonight, FNS, here in Phoenix, AZ, it's Big Foot and Ice Cube for the World Title and mark my words, I will not lose! Ice Cube, run your mouth, all the poetry, run your mouth talking about how you and Rage were carrying GX, cuz after tonight you can bet that the EMTs are gonna be carrying your ass out of here on a stretcher, and I will still be the World Champ, I will still be going on to Slam Fest and Lightning…may the best man win!

VJ: Those are some strong words from Big Foot. Will Ice Cube make him eat those words here tonight!

DD: Hell no! He's gonna make Big Foot eat his boot when he gives him the Ice Breaker later on! Remember this, Vince, tonight we're gonna have a new Champ!

Lightning: Yeah…may the best man win. But let's talk about tonight. Now last week I got attacked by Too Xtreme and Panth, I'm not blaming you for this. I don't know whether you had anything to do with it or not, but now I hear that Kaos is challenging me to a fight here tonight? Well fine. Kaos, you want a fight well then I won't back down from you or anybody. I will be here waiting for you, and I promise that just like just like your old buddy Rick Bruiser…you will FEEL THE BOLT!!!!!!

Panther: Now…Lightning, Big Foot, Blade…all of you listen up for a second cuz I've got a little something to say. Now as far as this Too Xtreme stuff…I don't know what the hell is going on, I had nothing to do with it, but I will tell the both of you that you've got more important things to worry about. With all of the stuff that's going around here lately, the last thing we need is another GX/Too Xtreme war!

Lightning: Panther, that's the last thing you want! It's obvious that Too Xtreme want a war cuz they came out here and attacked me last week! You can bet your ass that I want a damn war! And ya know what, I bet that each and every last 1 of these fans want a GX/Too Xtreme war! So I say that we make everybody happy and give em a GX/Too Xtreme war!!

Panther: Look, I don't give a damn what the people want! The bottom line is that tonight we've got more important things to worry about…like Ice Cube! Like Rage…just let me handle this thing with Too Xtreme! OK?

Lightning: Panth…

Panther: Just let me handle it!

Lightning: OK…but let me tell ya P-Diddy, if you don't handle it, GX will.

Panther: OK, OK! But when has P-Diddy ever let you down?

Lightning: Well there was the time…

Panther: Shut up! I won't let you guys down.

Blade: You know what…Panther is right, we do have more important things to do right now…like beating the Riot Makerz asses! Ice Cube, Rage, get out here right now!!!!!!!

VJ: WHOA!!!! GX…GX is calling out the Riot Makerz!

DD: Ya know…I always knew this bastard Blade wasn't a smart man, but he just proved to me that he's a total idiot!

VJ: Well will the Riot Makerz…

VJ: OH NO!!! That's not the Riot Makerz!

DD: Wow! Really?! Damn…and they call you Canadian!

VJ: Yeah…you can kiss my ass!

Prez: HAHAHA! GX, don't worry about Ice Cube and Rage. After what I did to my brother Tuesday Night I he knows not to f*ck with me and the LoD! I came out here for you…Panther! Last week you came out here and you tried to shoot me with a flamethrower?! Well damn it, I'm gonna make you pay for that! Boy, I said it last week but you were too stupid to follow orders, so how about at Slam Fest we have a match! Me, you, 1 last time! The winner controls the NFWA! What do you say, P-Dumbass?!

DD: HAHA! P-Dumbass! Now that's funny!

VJ: SHUT THE HELL UP!

Panther: Well…gee, Firestorm. Now let me get this straight…me and you, at Slam Fest…for control of it all?

Prez: That's right! What do you say?

Panther: Well I say no!

VJ: WHAT???!

DD: He's scared, Vince!

Panther: I say, why wait to Slam Fest when I can beat your ass right now?! (Throws the mic down, hops to the floor and heads up the ramp)

DD: Wait a minute!

VJ: Panther…he's not waiting until Slam Fest! Panther wants Firestorm now!

DD: You must mean Panther has a death wis…haha!

VJ: Aww damn it! It's Triple H!!!!! Triple H is out on the stage and he's attacking Panther. What the hell is he doing here?!

DD: Hey, do you think he's joined Lo…NO!!!!!

VJ: He tried for the pedigree on Panther but got caught with a low blow…Panther's going for Da Bomb…IT'S THE POSSE!!!!!!! Sniper and the Posse are out onto the stage and they're doing a number on Panther! The Posse, Sniper and Triple H are trying to maul the head of the Discipline Committee!

DD: HAHA! Why wait until Slam Fest when Panther can just get his ass kicked right here?!

VJ: Chyna is headed up the ramp to help Panther…Triple H nails her with a clothesline!!!!! Sniper is trying to toss Panther off the stage and here comes GX!!!!! GX is storming the stage!

DD: Look out, guys!!!

VJ: OH!!!!!!!! It's GX and the Posse!!!! GX and the Posse are going at it! We've got a brawl on the stage, did Firestorm set this up?! Did Firestorm…

DD: It's Michaels!!!!!!

VJ: Shawn Michaels is out on the stage and he's got Helmsley!!!!!!!! Michaels with Sweet Chin Music on the Game!!!!! Triple H is down!!!!!! Triple H is out!!!! GX and the Posse are tearing into each other…OH!!!!!!!!! Blade just nailed Jamal with a right hand that sent him tumbling 10 ft off the stage! Folks it's chaotic here tonight! Don't go away! We'll be back with more FNS!!!!!!

Chyna: (Gives Billy a hug) Hey, Billy! I haven't seen you in a while! How's it going?

Billy: I'm doing just great!

Chyna: Really? That's good.

Billy: Yeah. Hey Panther! What's up, buddy?!

Panther: (Shaking Billy's hand) Oh…sup, Bubba?

Billy: Nothing much. About to accompany Diamond to her match in a little bit.

Panther: Ok, cool.

Chyna: Hey Billy, you wouldn't happen to know where Firestorm is, do you?

Billy: Me?! HA! You know I don't work here, Chyna!

Panther: Neither does she.

Billy: True…

Chyna: Don't worry about it. We'll find him ourselves. Thanks Billy. Let's go Panther.

Panther: Uh…Chyna you go along, I've got something to say to the Ass Man.

Chyna: (kinda nervously) Uh…ok, sure, Panther. I'll see ya in a bit.

Chyna: Damn it…I knew this was gonna happen! Panther…c'mon!!!!!

VJ: What the hell was that all about?

DD: Don't know.

VJ: This one is turning out just like that thing between Panther and Prez Firestorm last week. We've got Jericho but we've got no Insane! My God, Dave! You don't think that this is another Posse setup, do you?!

DD: We…

VJ: Damn it, son of a bitch I can't believe it! What does the Posse want with Jericho?! What do they want???!

DD: Hey Vi…

VJ: My God Chris! Don't go near that van!!!!

DD: Will you shut the f*ck up you dumb ass piece of sh*t?

VJ: Sorry! Jericho is looking for Insane…oh no! He's got a tire iron! Jericho has a tire iron! What do you think he'll do when he finds Insane?

DD: Knock his brains in!

VJ: Jericho is inching closer and closer to that red car…do you think Insane is in there? Jericho is looking in that car…where the hell is Insane?!

DD: He's…he's right there!

VJ: Oh no! Jericho! Turn around…OH!!!!!!!

VJ: Damn it! Insane from behind just nailed Jericho from behind with a hubcap!!!! Jericho just got knocked goofy!

DD: He was always kinda goofy if ya ask me!

VJ: Insane…OH GOD! He hit him again! And again! Insane is mauling Y2J! He picks Jericho up by the hair…here it comes! Total Insanity…Jericho wiggles free…OH!!!!!!! He pulled Insane headfirst through the window of that red car!!!!!!!!

DD: Damn it! MY CAR!!!!!!! I paid $25, 000 bucks for that car…oh wait that's not mine.

VJ: Idiot. Insane may be dead! Jericho has him by the hair…belly to back suplex…and here it comes!!!! Walls of Jericho…

DD: In the Parking lot?!

VJ: Yes! Walls of…

VJ: What the hell is that?

DD: It sounds like a moto…oh yeah! It's Prez Firestorm!

VJ: Prez Firestorm…he's in the parking lot! He's in the parking lot with that bat…he and Jericho are talking trash to one another…I have a bad feeling about this one! Jericho…he has the tire iron again…it's Scarlet KV!!!!! KV from behind…it's the Natural Disasters too!!!! Damn it!!! Jericho is being assaulted…Insane is being assaulted! We've got an LOD mugging! This was nothing but a setup by Prez Firestorm!!!!!!

DD: And it worked beautifully! HAHAHAHA! (Lights up a blunt)

VJ: Oh Lord.

Prez: BREAK THEIR RIBS! HAHAHAHAHAHA!

VJ: What kinda sick bastard is Prez Firestorm?! Firestorm just tossed that bat to Scarlet KV…OH! Hard shot to the ribs of Jericho! OH!!! There's one to the ribs of Insane! One more to Jericho…Iceberg with a big splash to the ribs of Jericho!!!!! Insane and Jericho are being destroyed and Prez Firestorm is loving every moment of this!

Prez: Jericho you quit the Legion? I told you when you joined **gets right in jerichos face** YOU TURN ON ME, I MAKE YOUR LIFE A LIVING FUCKING HELL! and as for you Insane, Collision? Collision my ass, were are they know? Why arent they helping you? Insane, YOU PIST ME OFF!

VJ: My goodness. I can't believe what we've just seen! What the hell is wrong with the Prez?!

DD: You keep talking about him like that and he'll do the same thing to you! Then fire your punk ass!

VJ: Well damn it…Prez Firestorm is a damn heathen! Insane and Jericho have been left for dead…wait…Insane is moving…he's crawling over to Jericho!

DD: (Puffing on the blunt) You've gotta be kidding me!

VJ: He's almost…he throws an arm on Jericho…1…2…3!!!!

VJ: Damn it! Damn Firestorm!!!!

DD: SOMEBODY doesn't want a job.

VJ: I said…nevermind what I said! Jericho has just been screwed by the Prez and Insane is trying to get back to his feet…

DD: HAHA! I like this Insane, Vince. He and Prez may have bad blood, but he's got spunk. I like spunk! That's one spunky mother…

VJ: Stop it! OH! It's Tank! Tank just showed up in the parking lot and nailed Insane in the head with a brick!

DD: NOOOO!!!

VJ: Tank just mounted Insane…he's hammering him in the head with that brick…and again! And again! And again! And…oh!!! Who's that?!

DD: I don't know!

VJ: We've got 2 MORE masked men out here and they're attacking Tank! Tank is being hammered in the parking lot…1 of them have Tank by the hair and…DAMN!!!!!!!! He just slammed him through the windsheild of that red car!!!!!!!! Tank is being assaulted by these men…here comes the Extremist!!! The Extremist out to help his partner and he catches a low blow!!!!!!!!! These masked men…they just picked up Insane and they just tossed him into that limo! They're driving away with Insane! Who the hell is that?!

DD: I don't know, but I know who they--I mean SHE is!

VJ: It's Trish Stratus, and she's about to do battle with the Women's Champ! It's Diamond and Trish! It's next!

Kaos: P-Diddy!

Panther: Hey…wassup?

Kaos: Nothing…so did that punk ass Lightning accept my challenge?

Panther: Kaos…guys…we gotta talk.

Rebecca: Why in the hell wasn't Shawn arrested for Superkicked my man earlier tonight?

DD: That's a good point!

Rebecca: I demand that somebody call the police and send him to jail!

DD: Yeah! That redneck felon!

VJ: Both of you stop it!

Rebecca: What the hell is he doing here?!

DD: Don't worry! If you just hide between my legs I'll make sure he doesn't hurt you.

VJ: Shawn M…alright Dave! That was uncalled for. HBK is coming down to ringside…look at the look on Triple H's face! He's…he's coming over here!

Rebecca: Vince! Dave!!!

DD: Don't worry! (To HBK) Hey skankhole, the table's full this week!

VJ: OH!!!!!!! Michaels with Sweet Chin Music on Dave!!!!!!! Shawn has Dave by the hair…he tosses him into the ring! Shawn…he's joining us at the commentary booth!

HBK: First of all ya dumb bitch, you've got the nerve to…

Rebecca: Damn it Shawn! You watch your damn mouth!

HBK: How could you do this to our son?! How could you just throw our family away like that?! You're a piece of sh*t!

VJ: Well here we go. Diamond and Trish, with Triple H as the guest ref, Billy Gunn and Prez Firestorm at ringside and with Shawn Michaels and his estranged wife Rebecca doing commentary. Mark my words, this is will be the most entertaining match in the history of…

HBK and Rebecca: SHUT UP!!!!!!

HBK: Don't tell Vin to shut up!

Rebecca: You told him to shut up, too!

HBK: Well I'm the man! I'm the Heartbreak Kid, sweetheart! I do whatever the hell I want!

Rebecca: Yeah, everything except me! Jackass!

VJ: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOK! Dave is down in the ring after getting Sweet Chin Music…he's trying to get up but watch Diamond!

HBK: Diamond's hot!

VJ: Yes, and she's sneaking up on Dave…DIAMOND DROP!!!! Dave is down…Trish mounts Diamond and she's hammering away with hard right hands to the braaaaaaaaain!!!!!! Oh God!!!!!!!! Diamond just tossed Trish about 10 ft into the air! Both women are back to their feet…Diamond turns Trish inside out with a lariat!!!!!!!!!!!! Cover…Triple H very slow on the count…

HBK: I think his nose is so damn big he can't get to the mat to count the pin!

Rebecca: You're so immature!

HBK: I am rubber and you are glue, whatever I say, bounces off of me and sticks to your anorexic ass!

VJ: Geez! Diamond is arguing with Triple H! Trish with a low blow!

HBK: On Diamond?

VJ: Apparently.

HBK: Stupid bitch!

VJ: Well for obvious reasons that shot didn't phase Diamond and she's back to her feet…she has Trish by the throat and lifts her high into the air!!!!!! Diamond looks like she's about to toss Trish into orbit…DOWN GOES TRISH!!!!!!!!!! She's hurt and hurt badly…Firestorm is up on the apron…Billy Gunn yanks him down…he nails Firestorm with a right hand!!!!

HBK: YEAH!!!!! Atta boy, Billy!

VJ: Uh oh! Firestorm has Gunn…BIG TIME ON THE ONE!!!!!! BILLY GUNN IS DOWN!!!!!! Diamond is on the ropes and she just spit in Firestorm's face…TRISH JUST HIT DIAMOND WITH HER BOOT! Right in front of Triple H!!!!!!!!!

Rebecca: No she didn't! You're just seeing things!

VJ: Yes she did!

Rebecca: No she didn’t!

VJ: I'm not gonna argue with you! Trish with a cover on Diamond….fast count! 1…2…Diamond got the shoulder up!!!!!

HBK: Damn! I didn't think that boy could count to 2!

Rebecca: Then again, as long as I've known you, you could never think that good anyway!

HBK: (Shaking his fist) 1 of these days, Becky!

Rebecca: Oh please!

HBK: BANG! ZOOM! RIGHT TO THE MOON!!!!!!

VJ: Will you please stop it???! You sound like a married coup…oh yeah, that's right. Trish picks up Diamond and backs her into the buckle…she's choking Diamond! C'mon, Triple H! Choking is illegal!

Rebecca: Says who?

VJ: The rulebook!

Rebecca: Well rules were made to be broken!

HBK: If Triple H keeps pissing me off I'll break his damn neck!

VJ: Trish rides Diamond right back to the mat with another bulldog! She hooks her up in a reverse chinlock! Trish is wisely trying to wear down the champion and look at the smile on Firestorm's face! Diamond looks like she may be fading…this crowd is trying to rally behind the women's champ!!!! Diamond is trying to get back to her feet…elbow to the stomach of Trish! There's another! Diamond breaks the hold! She hits off the ropes but misses with a clothesline by Trish…Triple H misses with a clothesline on Diamond…Diamond nails both Triple H and Trish with a flying clothesline!!!!!!!!!

Rebecca: That psychotic bitch! Disqualify her Triple H!!!!

VJ: Well if she's DQ'd, Trish doesn't get the belt!

Rebecca: Well…kick her in the nuts, Triple H!

VJ: Stop it! Michaels, your wife is a crackwhore (Rebecca slaps him and Shawn laughs)! OW! Diamond has Trish…Irish whip sends her to the buckle…DIAMOND ELBOW!!!!!!!! Trish has just been rocked…boot to the midsection by Diamond…Firestorm is in the ring damn it! Firestorm has Diamond by the throat…

Rebecca: HAHA! I'm gonna enjoy this!

VJ: Firestorm…watch Billy Gunn!!!! OH!!!!!!!! Chairshot to the back of the head by Billy!!!!! Diamond with a low blow on Firestorm…ONE AND ONLY ON FIRESTORM!!!!!!! Billy Gunn has just put Firestorm down with the One and Only…OH NO! Triple H just shoved Diamond into Billy, knocking him to the floor. Diamond swings at the Game but catches a boot to the midsection…PEDIGREE!!!!!!!!! Diamond is down!!!!!!!!!!! Triple H pulls Trish on top of Diamond…1….2…(long silence) oh…my. HBK just mooned Triple H…

HBK: (Still mooning Triple H) How ya like a full moon, Hunter?!

VJ: EWW! That's disgusting! And you have a smile on your face!! Triple H stopped in mid count and he's headed down here!

HBK: (Pulling his pants up) I think he might have been a little excited by that, ya think Vinny? OH!!!!

VJ: Triple H just speared Michaels!!!!

Rebecca: Get him, Hunter! Get him!!!!

VJ: It's Panther and Chyna!!!!!!! Panther and Chyna are headed out to the ring with chairs!!! Panther…he's headed over here…OH!!!!!!!!!! He just caved Triple H's skull in with that chairshot!!!!!!!!!! The Game is down!!!!!! Back in the ring Chyna has Trish by the hair…Chyna's gonna batter Trish…OH!!!!! Firestorm has Chyna and he's gonna give her the Big Time…Panther slides into the ring…BOOM!!!!! He nails Firestorm with a huge shot but it doesn't phase him…here comes another…OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!! HE JUST BROKE THAT CHAIR OVER THE HEAD OF FIRESTORM!!!!!!!!!!!! MY GOD PREZ FIRESTORM HAS TO BE DEAD!!!!!! HE'S GOTTA BE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Trish just jumped on Panther's back…Diamond from behind pulls Trish off of Panther…DIAMOND DROP!!!!!!!!!!! Here comes referee Stephanie Jenkins…1…2…3!!!!!!!

VJ: What a crazy ass match! Rebecca just stormed off in anger…Triple H is down over here, Firestorm is down in the ring and Panther and Chyna are putting the boots to him! Firestorm and Trish roll out to the floor…Firestorm is out of it! Firestorm may not even know where he is after that shot by Panther…HBK is up in the ring now and he's celebrating with Diamond, Billy, Panther and Chyna! What else can hap…Panther just raised Diamond's hand and Billy shoved him. Hmm…Panther just shoved Billy…THERE THEY GO AGAIN!!!!!!!! Panther and Billy are fighting again…ya talk about 2 guys that just don't get along. HBK and Chyna are trying to separate the 2…man!

Blade: Hey Sparks, remember I like pepperoni and cheese.

Big Foot: I'm feeling a little fishy tonight…I'll have anchovies.

Lightning: (looking at Big Foot funny) I'm not calling for pizza.

Blade: Well then who ya calling?

Lightning: Nunya.

Big Foot: Cool. I haven't heard from him since grade school. Tell him I said hi.

Lightning: Jackass.

Blade: OK, but when you're done with Nunya…can you order us up some pizza?

Lightning: (Looks annoyed) Sure. You've got it.

VJ: Nunya? Pizza? We'll be right back.

RS: Excuse me, Panther!

Panther: (Started) WHAT?!

RS: I just wanted to ask you a few questions.

Panther: You've got questions, Rosie?

RS: Yes.

Panther: Well…I'd like to answer them but…me and Chyna got some biz to handle.

Dan: Curses!!!!!!!

RS: Not you again!

Dan: Rosie Sanchez, you have offended me! I challenge you to a match! You and I, 1 on 1, on In High Gear! Are you prepared to face the greatest, Rosie? YAHOO!!!!!!!!!

RS: (Kicks Dan in the nuts and shoves him to the ground) Just bring it!!!

VJ: Dan Hibiki Vs…ROSIE SANCHEZ???????!!!!!

DD: Go Dan Go!!!!!!!!

DD: You who needs to get their ribs crushed? That damn stupid Michaels! And that negative slut Diamond! And that Jackass Billy Gunn! And that over…

VJ: Justin Credible with a dropkick catches Iceberg right on the jaw!!!!!!! There's another one catches him on the jaw!!!!!!! Justin with a clothesline!!!!!!!!!!! The big man staggers through the ropes and out to the floor!!!!! Glacier goes for the Meltdown but his foot it caught…Credible spins him around and drills him with an inverted DDT!!!!!!!!!! Glacier is down and he's hurt!!!!!!! Credible is putting the boots to him now!!!!!!!!!!! He picks Glacier back up…Iceberg is up on the ring apron!!!! Credible tries for a right hand…OH! Headbutt by Iceberg staggers Justin…Justin responds with a hard right…look out…

DD: OH NO!!!!!!!!!!!

VJ: Glacier went for another Meltdown but this time he hit Iceberg!!!!!!! Storm with a spin kick has Glacier reeling…THAT'S INCREDIBLE BY JUSTIN!!!!!!!!!! Justin makes the cover…they've finally done it! They've finally defeated the Natural Disasters!!!! 1…2…

VJ: Wait a minute!!!!!!! Did he get the 3?!

DD: I…I don't know! What the hell is going on, Vince?!

DD: Oh my God!!!

VJ: What the hell happened?! The ref makes the count…1…2…3!!!!!

DD: HAHAHAHA!!!!!! The DA goes down again! I love it!

VJ: I don't understand this! What the hell happened?!

DD: I'll tell ya what happened! It was old bolt breath! I know it!

VJ: Are you saying Lightning did this?!

DD: Of course. How many people do you know that set Lightning bolts off indoors?

VJ: At least 2 other people. Why?

DD: Shut up! It was Lightning, and Too Xtreme ain't gonna be happy about that!

VJ: Jim Cornette is in the ring trying help up his team…wait! It's Blade!!! Blade just ran out to the ring…he's got Cornette…WOOD CUTTER ON JIM CORNETTE!!!! Blade is trying to annihilate Cornette…watch Glacier…MELTDOWN ON BLADE!!!!!

DD: HAHA! Big mistake, jerkface!!!

VJ: HA. HBK and Diamond must've beat the material out of you. Glacier and Iceberg are doing a number on Blade…Iceberg is climbing up to the 2^nd rope…OH!!!!!!! 560-lb. Splash from the 2^nd rope!!!!!!!! Blade is hurt and he's hurt bad!!

DD: Well, Sparky needs to bring his electric ass back out here cuz his buddy is about to get burned! What the…

VJ: Here comes Slammer with a chair! He hits the ring…BOOM! Right to the head of Iceberg!!!! There's 1 for Glacier and look at those bastards retreat with Cornette! My Goodness! We'll be back after this commercial break!

Kaos: DAMN IT, PANTHER!!!!!

Panther: SHHHHHH!!!!! Can't you see I'm on the phone?!

Kaos: Oh. Ok. Sorry. (Sits down on the sofa)

Panther: (To the person on the phone) OK…what do you mean you dyed your hair green?! (Pause) So?! (Another pause) Yeah…but I was starting to like the pink hair. It was kinda cute…well damn it you should've kept it black! (Another pause) Forget it!!!!!! Forget it! I'll talk to you later, T. bye bye! (Hangs up the phone and looks up to Kaos) Aight, you were saying…

Kaos: DAMN IT, PANTHER!!!!!!!!

Panther: What?

Kaos: You think I don't know it was your boy Lightning that attacked the DA out there?

Panther: Huh?

Kaos: Well let me tell you this: We tried to be nice, I tried to do what you wanted, after what Lightning did tonight, you can bet that this means war! The challenge is back on!!!!

Panther: Kaos…c'mon! (Kaos walks out of the room) C'mon, man! He didn't mean it! He di…CHYNA THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!!!!!!!!!!

Chyna: What I do?

Panther: Nothing, Chyna. Read your book.

Chyna: OK.

DD: HAHA! Vince! The war is back on!!!!

VJ: I've got the feeling it's gonna explode between GX and Too Xtreme here tonight!

"Fear" by Disturbed blasts over the PA system. The words "THE RAGE REPORT" flash up on the FireTron. Rage walks down with his X-Treme Title around his waist. He has on his Riot MakerZ shirt, and cargo pants. The crowd is booing him, and he slides into the ring....

Rage: Today, is a special edition of the RAGE REPORT! I know the first one was really fucked up... but oh well! Here it is, so I suggest you guys sit down and SHUT UP! Ok. The big question is, why did Rage leave GX? Well, I will tell you why. I am sick and tired of people not pulling their weight. Blade, he didn't do shit! If it weren't for me, he just about would NEVER get title shots.. and barley ever get matches! Then after I am kind enough to fight him.. he complains he got screwed afterwards? SORRY! Never happened! Then there is Diamond. I don't know who the dumb fuck was that let her in the stable in the first place! She didn't do anything! Promos once a month... matches once a month.. and then she goes and tries to get involved in the men's division? Sorry, you belong in the women's division with all the other ladies. And Panther. I forgot he was in the stable over half the time! Same with Chyna! And Tina, whoever THAT is.. was allowed in, and she didn't do a damn thing! Then we move to Lighting. He lost to Squirrel. 'Nuff said! Getting screwed or not... he still lost... to SQUIRREL! Thats just a LITTLE pathetic. Then Big Foot... the guy I can beat if I ever got a shot... comes into the stable... and wins the world title off of Squirrerl, the person Lighting can't beat. Well, he shouldn't be too excited about that, because Squirrel sucks in the first place! If it were me, instead of Big Foot, I would have won. But, no. I am too busy with my X-Treme title. And if Big Foot can beat Squirrel, and Lighting can't.. then Lighting must REALLY suck... because Big Foot isn't that damn great anyway! Then, we look to Ice Cube. He is probably the best person in the NFWA. He can beat Lighting, he can beat Big Foot, he beat Blade, he can beat Panther, Chyna, Diamond, Tina.. EVERYONE! He even beat me.. but that was back then. I think that the situation would be a little different now. But, another thing is, while me and Ice Cube are the Riot MakerZ...NOBODY can even come CLOSE to beating us! We are the most feared group ever. Natural Disasters.. bring it. Extremist and Tank.. your not even worthy of fighting us! Blade and Slammer... SIT DOWN!! Elites.. how many times did we beat you?? A LOT! I think that is reason enough. But Ice Cube... I joined you because I trust you. I swear... if you are planning to screw me over, it will be the end of you. But, they are the reasons. If you think they aren't GOOD enough.. then come right here and tell me... we'll see just who gets the last word in. Well, I have a match today against a loser named Demp that can't wrestle, and an egotistical pile of crap that is going to learn for the second time NOT to mess with Rage. So, until next time.. this is RAGE with the Rage Report!!!!!

"Fear" hits, and Rage walks to the back...

VJ: Rage sure has changed. I'm…I'm disappointed in that young man.

DD: You should be disappointed in yourself! Do you ever look in the mirror these days?!

VJ: Not really.

DD: I don't blame you. HAHAHA!

DD: What did that hooligan Krazed do, now?!

VJ: The police department is on it's way down to the ring…we've got 15 or 16 cops out here! They're surrounding the nWo!!! What's…what's the meaning of this?!

DD: I don't know…but can you hold this bag for me, Vince?

VJ: Get that thing away from me! The Police just told Krazed to go to the ring…they're arresting the rest of them!!!! Steiner, Hall and Nash are going directly to jail!!!!!!!! Can you believe that, Dave?!

DD: Yes…yes I can actually. Hall and Steiner have been in jail so much the police are thinking about making em pay rent.

VJ: HA! That was a bad joke but it's funny cuz it's true. Krazed is livid! Krazed is being forced to go into this match without the nWo all because Scott Hall, Scott Steiner and Kevin Nash got in trouble. This is not good for the former World Champion!

VJ: Wait a minute!!!! It's Zydrex!!!!!! Zydrex just came from the crowd and he's hammering away on Krazed!!!! That's not right! C'mon, ref! Get him out of there!!!!!!

DD: Hey, I've gotta admit, this is kinda unfair.

VJ: Kinda unfair????! Krazed is being attacked before his match even…Krazed fires back with a right hand!!!!! And again!!!!!! Krazed is hammering away with hard rights right to the brain of Zydrex!!!! Irish whip by Krazed sends Zy into the ropes…Krazed ducks the head and gets caught!

DD: So sorry, goat boy!

VJ: He's going for the Dominator…Krazed is too heavy for Zydrex!!!

DD: Oh no! He hurt his back!

VJ: Zydrex hurt his back and now Krazed has him hooked…SUPERNOVA!!!!! Supernova on Zydrex…Squirrel is in the ring!!!!!!!!

VJ: Squirrel from behind and now he's doing a number on Krazed! The winner of this match gets a shot at the World Title down the line and Squirrel would do anything to get his hands back on that belt! Then again, so would Krazed!

DD: I'm not even sure Krazed deserves the belt!

VJ: Why did you turn on Krazed like that?!

DD: Cuz he's not my Squirrel! Squirrel's my hero!

VJ: I though you said, nevermind. Squirrel backs Krazed to the buckle…he's stomping a mudhole in Krazed! Irish whip by Squirrel…Krazed reverses into a supernova…NO!!!!! Squirrel counters with an elbow to the side of the head…DDT!!!!! NO!!!! Krazed lifts Squirrel up…OH NO!!!!!!! He crotches Squirrel on the top rope!!

DD: Well Squirrel after that move I think Squirrel's gonna be bustin nutts in a higher octave!

VJ: What?! Squirrel is trying to get of the ropes but Krazed has him by the throat…Krazed has Squirrel by the OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He just chokeslammed Squirrel off the top rope and he landed in the crowd!!!!!!!!What power by Krazed!!!!!!! What unbelievable power!!!!

DD: What an unbelievable cheater! You know that over the top rope is an auto DQ!

VJ: It is not!

DD: Well it is in Delaware, damn it! DQ the skankhole!

VJ: Squirrel landed hard off the concrete floor and now Krazed is headed out. He…he just snatched a steel chair from the ring announcer!

DD: Aww man! Vince…can you smell it?

VJ: I'm afraid so…

DD: STEEEEEEEEEEEEEL!!!!!!!

VJ: Oh Lord. Krazed is measuring Squirrel for that shot…watch Zydrex from behind…DAMN!!!!!! What a shot by Krazed!!!! Almost took Zydrex's head off with that one! And now he turns back to Squirrel…Squirrel is trying to climb out of the crowd…Krazed winds back…oh no!!!!!! Squirrel just tossed powder into the eyes of Krazed!!! Krazed has been blinded by Squirrel…Squirrel climbs up on the barricade now…huracanrana attempt…blocked by Krazed into a powerbomb!!!!!

DD: Oh no!!! Squirrely just can't win, tonight!

VJ: I wonder why the hell the nWo was arrested. More importantly, who called the cops?

DD: it was probably that snake ass Kevin Taylor. He always looked crooked to me.

VJ: I doubt that. Krazed is trying to get his vision back after getting that powder thrown in his eyes, Squirrel is just trying to get his wits back about him after that powerbomb and that unbelievable chokeslam. Squirrel is getting back up…

DD: More STEEEL, Vince!

VJ: Oh great! That's all we need! Krazed is still blinded and Squirrel has that chair…OH!!!!!!! He charged in and Krazed kicked the chair right back into the face of Squirrel! Krazed damn near knocked Krazed's head off and look at that sinister smile! Krazed knows he's got this one won!

DD: Come on, Squirrel!

VJ: Krazed picks Squirrel up over his head…gorilla press slam!!!! Look at the strength of Krazed…he tosses Krazed over the top rope and back into the ring!!!!! Krazed has got this one well in hand now! It's just about over for Squirrel…

DD: Why is that idiot going to the top?!

VJ: Huh? Krazed is headed to the top rope!

DD: We've been through this before! Krazed does not belong on the top rope. Bad things happen when he's on to…Oh!

VJ: Squirrel just rose up and racked Krazed on the top!!!!!!!! Krazed just had a tender landing, much like we saw with Squirrel earlier on, and he falls down into the corner!

DD: Uh oh!!!!!!

VJ: This isn't good.

DD: You know what we're gonna see!

VJ: Squirrel is setting up for it…THERE IT IS!!!!! NUTT BUSTER!!!!! NUTT BUSTER!!!! SQUIRREL IS RIDING KRAZED!!!!

DD: Why'd ya have to go and say that!? You insulting Squirrely's masculinity?

VJ: What masculinity? Squirrel is…he's disgusting!

DD: And he's fixing to finish off that NW-Ho Krazed!

VJ: That's just wrong. Squirrel is setting up for the Nutt Shot now! Krazed is trying to get back to his feet…here it comes…

DD: YES…NO!!!!!

VJ: Squirrel missed…Chokeslam by Krazed!!! He hooks the leg..1..2…kickout by Krazed! He almost had him beat!!! What a match between these 2. Krazed picks Squirrel back up…Irish whip sends Squirrel crashing hard into the buckle!!!! Krazed…he's signaling to the crowd…he charges in…OH NO!! Krazed charged in but Squirrel moved, sending him flying hard into the buckle!!!!! Krazed may be out on his feet…

DD: And now he's gonna be out on his back…NUTT SHOT!!!!!!!

VJ: It's over!!!!!! Squirrel with a cover…1…2…3!!!!!! Damn it!

VJ: Squirrel picks up the win, and that means that Squirrel secures his spot as a top contender for the World Title!

DD: That's right. Everybody's talking about Lightning Vs Big Foot for the World Belt, huh? Well after tonight they're gonna get to see the dream match of a lifetime! Squirrel Vs Ice Cube!!!!!! It's gonna be great!

VJ: If Ice Cube can win the belt and get by Lightning at Slam Fest…c'mon!!!!!!! Squirrel is stomping Krazed! The match is over now! The match is over! Squirrel is stomping away to the head of…oh no. Zydrex is walking into the ring with that sledgehammer! What the hell does he have the sledgehammer for?!

DD: I'll give ya 3 guesses, Vince.

VJ: Oh no! C'mon, stop this! Where's the Discipline Committee? Where's Too Xtreme…OH NO!!!!!!!!!! Sledgehammer shot right to the ribs of Krazed by Squirrel!!!!! And again!!!!!!! And again!!!!! Squirrel is decimating Krazed!!!!!! My God!!! We've got officials out here trying to get Squirrel out of here…he's snapped! Squirrel is swinging that sledgehammer at anyone in sight! Not even Zydrex will go near him!!!!

VJ: Well there you see the participants for our next match! It's Rodney and Brian Demp Vs the Demoltionists! It's a family feud up next, but will Too Xtreme play a role in the ending?! Will the war begin tonight?!

KT: Rock! Hey, Rock!

Rock: Hush, hermy!

Rock: FINALLY…THE ROCK HAS COME BACK TO….PHOENIX!!!!!!!!!

VJ, KT and DD: OH MY GOD!!!!!!!! IT'S….THE SHREDDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Shredder: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! FOOL! Did you really think that your so-called electricity could match up against my mutant army?! Rocksteady!!!! Bebop!!!!! GET HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIM!!!!!!!

Bebop: (Snorts) Sure thing, Boss!

VJ: (Total silence)

DD: (Total silence)

Shredder: HAHAHAHAHA! Foot Clan! ATTAAAAAACK!!!!!!

Shredder: Good! Now bring him to me!

KT: Shredder!!!

Shredder: (Turns around) FOOL!!!! What do you want?!

KT: Why have you done this to the Rock?

Shredder: Well it's this simple: Those blasted Turtles have foiled my plan to takeover the world 1 time too many, so if I can't take over the real world…I can always take over the wrestling world! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! AAAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! AAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! This is just the beginning! All will suffer beneath the power of the SHREDDER!!!!!!!!!!! TO DIMENSION X!!!!!!!

DD: Well I'll be damned.

VJ: Ya see something new every week here in the NFWA.

DD: Uh oh, Vince!!!!

VJ: I've got a bad feeling about this!

DD: Vince, I feel a war coming on!!!!

VJ: I think you may be right. Panther does not want it to happen but it's inevitable! Too Xtreme and GX are gonna hook up, and it's gonna happen tonight! It could even happen moments from now, seconds from now! It will happen here tonight! And look at the Demolitionists talking Trash…the Demps from behind!!!!

DD: HAHAHA! Never turn your back on a Demp!

VJ: Rodney and Brian Demp, the 1^st father/son tag team in the history of the NFWA are working over the Demolitionists…Lightning just got tossed out to the floor! Big Foot is still in the ring and now he's being double teamed!!!!!! Flagrant double teaming by the Demp family!!!!

DD: That's tag team wrestling, skankhole!

VJ: That's cheating!

DD: What?!

VJ: Yeah! I said it! The Demp have Big Foot…Double Irish whip sends him into the ropes…Big Foot breaks through the Demp double clothesline…big foot to the head of Brian!!! Rodney tries for a right but her got caught ait a huge clothesline by the World Champion!!!

DD: Come on, Rodney! The last thing we need around here is another Indianian running around here with gold!

VJ: Well after this match that could happen! Big Foot has Demp up by the hair…he benches him up over his head!!!!! He's got him up for a gorilla press slam…Brian is back to his feet…OH!!!!!! Big Foot just launched Rodney Demp right onto his father!!!!!! The Demps are in trouble thanks to Big Foot! They're out of it on the ropes now…Big Foot sends both of them flying to the outside with a double clothesline!!!!!! Will you listen to this crowd?!

DD: NO!

VJ: Alright. Rodney and Brian are out on the floor trying to regroup…

DD: Watch out for Lightning! He's crazy!

VJ: Lightning has Brian and Rodney by the hair…double noggin knock…NO! The Demps counter with a double knee lift to the midsection of Lightning!!!! Brian Demp has Lightning set up…OVERHEAD BELLY TO BELLY!!!!!! My God! That just came out of no where!!!

DD: Watch out for Rodney…what the hell?!

VJ: He's picking up the stairs! Rodney Demp is picking up the stair…Good God! He just threw the stairs at Big Foot in the ring!!! What the hell is the matter with that guy?! He could've killed somebody!

DD: Good. I wish he'd kill you. Bastard.

VJ: You're all heart. Rodney rushes into the ring…he spears Big Foot…he's too big to take down!!!! Big Foot is way too big…he's setting Rodney up for the Demolition Bomb!

DD: Look out, Rodney…HAHA!!!!!

VJ: Big Daddy Demp just tossed a bottle of sports drink right into the eyes of Big Foot!!!! Big Foot has been blinded…watch the Demps…they're not!!!!

DD: They are!

VJ: Oh my…he's over 400…OOHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! Double belly to back suplex on Big Foot and his head bounced right off of those stairs!!!!! Rodney with the cover…1…2…kickout!!! They should be DQ'd for that!!!!

DD: It was an accident!

VJ: Well Rodney had no reason to throw the stairs in the ring.

DD: Hey, he was just being a good Samaritan. Before this match, I heard that he found out that Big Foot needed a little more STEEEEEEL in his diet! All he was doing was following the doctor's orders.

VJ: Your jokes are getting worse than ever these days. Lightning has climbed back to the ring apron and now Rodney Demp is in there with Big Foot. Rodney hits off the ropes…he drives the elbow hard into the throat of Big Foot! And again!!!!!! Rodney now for the cover…no he's choking him!!! Come on! Get in there, ref!

DD: Why don’t you shut up and call the match?!

VJ: Why don't…nevermind. Big Foot has been busted open in the top of the head and Rodney is zeroing in on that cut. Rodney has Big Foot's arm now…he's dragging him over to the buckle! What the…OHHHHH!!!!

DD: Can you feel it, Vince?!

VJ: Here's the tag! Here comes Brian Demp! Now let's see what the old man can do!

DD: Old man?! Did you call him an old man?!

VJ: What's what he is, isn't he?

DD: You know what your problem is, Vince? Agism! You're nothing but a lowlife agist bigot!

VJ: There's the pot calling the kettle black!

DD: Was that a racial comment?! You keep it up and you're gonna be banned from TV, Mr.!

VJ: Oh please! Brian Demp is picking up Big Foot…he locks him up…there's a European Uppercut by Demp just rocked the jaw of Big Foot! There's another one! Brian Demp has Big Foot reeling so far and look at the DA up on the stage! They're loving it! Brian Demp hits off the ropes…look out!!!!!!!! OH!

DD: Oh no!!!!!

VJ: Big Foot with a flapjack type move just send Brian into orbit!

DD: he can't do that to an old man!

VJ: But I thought you said…

DD: Hush it, hussy! I said he can't do that to Rodney's pappy! No!

VJ: There's the tag and Lightning is in!!! Lightning is hammering away with hard right hands to he jaw of Brian Demp! Irish whip sends him into the ropes…POWERSLAM!!!!!! Brian is out! 1…2…Rodney breaks it up!!!!!! Rodney…he's hammering away on Lightning!

DD: Beat his ass, Rodney!!!!

VJ: Rodney is doing just that…but Lightning is firing back!!!! Rodney Demp and Lightning are trading blows in the center of the ring…Demp shoves Lightning into the ropes and Lightning fires back with a flying shoulder block! Shades of the Ultimate Warrior!

DD: yeah, they're both big crackheads!

VJ: Stop it. Brian Demp back to his feet…Lightning catches him with a boot to the stomach…RUNNING POWERBOMB!!!!!!! 1…2…Rodney with a kick to the back of the head…and here comes Big Foot with a clothesline!!!!

DD: It's getting crazy in there now, Vince!!

VJ: The Demps and the Demolitionists are battling it out in the ring…Rodney and Brian back them to opposite buckles!!!! Uh oh! Double Irish whip by the Demps…Double reversal by the Demolitionists…they just send the Demps crashing right into one another!!!!! Brian goes down hard and Rodney gets catches a boot to the midsection… LIGHTNING ROD!!!!!!!!! He just knocked Rodney's lights out!!! Lightning makes the cover…the ref just informed Lightning that Rodney is the illegal man!

DD: Yeah, you illogical jackoff! Let him go!

VJ: Lightning's not doing that! He's hammering down with hard right hands to the head of the younger Demp! OH!!!!!! Brian just nailed Lightning with a hard clothesline to break the hold!

DD: I told ya, you don't mess with Big Daddy Demp and get away with it!

VJ: You may be right! Brian is choking Lightning with that boot of his…

DD: Oh no! Brian…watch Big Foot!

VJ: Big Foot is coming up behind Brian…he doesn't see him!

DD: Ref, you've gotta do something about this!!!!

VJ: Brian just backed up off of Lightning…HAHA! He backed right into the World Champion! Big Foot has him by the throat…this crowd is about to blow the roof off of this building!

DD: Damn it!!! NO!!!!!!!!

VJ: Big Foot has Brian Demp set up…here it comes…OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!! He just folded his neck up with that chokeslam!!!!!!!!!!! Oh my God!!!!!

DD: Damn it, Vince! Call 911, call 411, call the AARP, the NAACP, call AAA, the NCAA, the ASPCA! I don't care who the hell you call, get 1 of those lazy ass bastards to get off of their fat asses and do something about this idiot Big Foot! This guy's a psychopath!

VJ: Brian Demp isn't moving after that shot and now Lightning is setting him up on the top rope!!! He could be setting up for the Lightning Rod!!!

DD: Vince, get up there and help Brian!

VJ: NO! If you're so concerned, you help him!

DD: I've gotta help you out here, though.

VJ: Oh right. Lightning is setting up for the Lightning Rod…wait a minute. The Dangerous Alliance is on their way down their way down to the ring…Lightning has Brian set up for the Fireman's carry…wait a minute!!!! Justin Credible just hooked the ankle of Lightning…OH NO!!!!!!!!!!! Did you hear that???! Both Lightning and Brian just tumbled off the top rope and went crashing hard into the steel stairs!!!!! Lightning…he's hurt. He's trying to get back to his feet…watch out for Lance Storm…NO!!!!!!!!! He just bashed Lightning right in the face with that steel chair!!!!!!!

DD: HAHA! Paybacks are hell!!!

VJ: Damn it! Lightning and Big Foot may have been screwed! Big Foot is out on the floor to try to help Lightning up…the ref is putting the count down…he's up to 4…5…6…7…8…9…10!!!!

DD: Double count out! Bullsh*t!!!!!

VJ: Lightning is not moving after what that shot from Storm and Brian Demp may have been severely hurt after that fall onto the stairs…and now where's Big Foot going?! Is he going after the DA?!

DD: Yeah! He obviously wants to get his ass beaten even worse than it was during the…look!!!!!!!!

VJ: Oh God!!!! Rodney Demp has lost it!!!!!!!! C'mon!!!!!!! Rodney Demp is assaulting Lightning out on the arena floor…he's hurt damn it!!!!!!!!! He's hurt!!

DD: Well he needs to get hurt some more!

VJ: Rodney picks up Lightning by the hair…FLOWING DDT ON THE FLOOR!!!!!! He just spiked the former World Champion!!!!!! Rodney Demp…why did he do that?!

DD: Why this! Why that! Why don't you shut the hell up before I do that to you?!

VJ: Lightning is down…Big Foot has gone to the locker room so there's no help…KENDO STICK TO THE BACK OF LIGHTNING!!!! And again!!!!!! Demp is beating the hell out of Lightning!! Come on! This is not right, damn it!!!!! We've got officials out here to try and break this up!!! They're trying to get Rodney and Brian Demp back to the locker room!!!! We need some help for Lightning out here, folks!

VJ: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to the Friday Night Slam and Lightning…he said that he's not leaving without saying something!

DD: Well then shut up and let him say it, skankhole!

Lightning: You know what…DA, Too Xtreme…last week you wanna come out here and attack me in front of the world…then tonight you wanna come out here and cost me and Big Foot the tag belts? And all throughout the night I've been hearing about another GX/Too Xtreme war! Well damn it, I want it…Too Xtreme, you want it! Phoenix, you obviously want it…(crowd cheers in the background) So let's do it! Kaos, bring your ass!

VJ: WHOA! Lightning just said the war is on!!!!! As JR would say, Business is fixing to pick up tonight here in Phoenix…

DD: Here he comes Vince!

VJ: Listen to the crowd!!! They can't believe this!!!

DD: Hell! I can't believe this! Not only do we get to see the Rock kidnapped by the Foot Clan, but we get to see Lightning get his ass beat twice in 1 night, back to back! HAHA! I love it!

VJ: Kaos is climbing up the steps…he climbs into the ring and the fight is on!!!!!!!!!! The war begins right here!!!!!!!!! Lightning and Kaos!!!!! Lightning and Kaos are trading blows in the ring! This crowd is going nuts!!!!!!!!!!! Kaos is getting the upper hand on Lightning…Irish whip sends Lightning into he ropes…LIGHTNING COMES OUT WITH A SPEAR!!!!!!!! Lightning…he's hammering away with hard right hands to the head of Kaos!!!!!

VJ: My God, Dave! Did you see that?!

DD: Yeah! The Riot Makerz have caught up with GX! HAHA! So much for that GX style ass whoo…

VJ: Aww sh*t! It's Too Xtreme…damn it!!!!!!!! The Dangerous Alliance from behind just pulled Lightning off of Kaos…superkick right to the jaw of Lightning by Lance Storm!!!!!!! Lance Storm…Lance and Kaos are all over Lightning in the ring!

DD: Where's Justin going?!

VJ: I have no clue! Justin…oh boy!

DD: WOOOOOD! He's got WOOOOD! HAHAHAHA!

VJ: I can’t believe this!!!!! Justin just went to the floor and he threw a table into the ring!!!!!! They're gonna try and maim Lightning!!!

DD: this is gonna be great! The war has begun and Lightning's gonna be the 1^st casualty!

VJ: The DA is setting that table up…this isn't right damn it! GX has been taken out in the back by the Riot Makerz….Kaos has Lightning….he may be going for the Ticking Time Bomb though the ta…

VJ: It's Panther!!!!! Panther is out here with a steel chair…Panther has come to the aide of Lightning. He shoves Kaos off of Lightning…

DD: C'mon Panther! Would you attack your own Discipline Committee?!

VJ: Panther is holding that chair…he's trying to back up Too Xtreme it looks like…

DD: Or maybe he wants to beat Lightning's ass himself!

VJ: I doubt that.

DD: Hey, that Panther is a no good, sneaky son of a bitch! I don't put a damn thing above him!

VJ: Chyna has made her way out to the ring and she's backing Panther up in this…Too Xtreme is backing down. They're headed back to the locker room!

DD: Bullsh*t!!! I want my $38 back!!!!

VJ: $38?! Thank God Panther and Chyna were able to stop this savage attack on Lightning…

DD: OHHH! Our loving Prez has returned, Vince!

VJ: Firestorm is back out here…look at that look on his face!!!!!!!! Prez Firestorm is pissed after receiving that chairshot from Panther in the Women's Title match…he's coming down to the ring!!

DD: HAHA! Now Panther gets to get his ass kicked! Look at the fear in his eyes!

VJ: Fear?! He just told Firestorm to bring it! Panther is holding the ropes open for Firestorm and Trish….

Prez: HA. Panther…you obviously don't get it, do you?! (Laughs) Well if you don't, allow me to make things a little more clearer for you!

VJ: What the hell…has Triple H joined the LOD?!

DD: I don't…

VJ: What in the hell is going on???! Sniper and Triple H are both standing beside Firestorm! We've got the LOD and the Posse out here too! What's going on?!

Sniper: Hey Panther! What's wrong?! You look kinda confused! Well let me clear this up for you, Posse + LOD=the end of the Panther! Let's go!

VJ: Wait a minute!!!

DD: Did you hear that, Vince?!

VJ: This is like somekind of merger from hell!!!!! The Posse, Triple H and the LOD are all coming down to the ring! Lightning is still hurt in the ring, Chyna and Panther are no match for all of them!

DD: This is gonna be the greates…

VJ: look from the crowd!!!!! It's Shawn Michaels!!!!! HBK just slid into the ring…

DD: He's got a flamethrow…OHHHHH NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

VJ: HBK just shot that flamethrower in their direction and look at them scatter!!!!!!! Sniper and Firestorm's forces have been run off thanks to Shawn Michaels and that flamethrower…but that's not the point here! We may have just seen the formation of the most powerful alliance in the history of Pro Wrestling!!!!!!!!

RS: Prez Firestorm, Commish Sniper, guys, can I have…

Sniper: Damn it, Rosie! I'm getting sick and tired off all of this BS with Shawn Michaels! Everytime I turn around he's sticking his nose in my biz! He's sticking his nose in the Posse's biz! The son of a bitch doesn't even work here, damn it! He does not belong in the NFWA, he's damn lucky we didn't finish him off last month at Game Time…but you know what, I think just like Firestorm said with Panther it's time that we stop all this bullsh*t once and for all!

Prez: That's right and I think I've got an idea for the PPV. It's the biggest PPV of all time, right? So how about we give the fans a big match. Why don't we kill 2 birds with 1 stone? Michaels, I know you want a piece of Triple H cuz he stole your wife, and I know you want a piece of Sniper cuz he beat you and embarrassed you at Game Time. And Panther…I know that you want more than anything in the World to get back in control of the NFWA, right? Damn right I'm right. So how about we do both of you a favor, HBK, Panther, we'll give you 7 days! 7 days to find someone who could actually put up with the both of you, 7 days to find yourselves a tag team partner, and IF you find that partner, bring him to Slam Fest, bring him to the Continental Airlines Arena and put him in the ring with Sniper, the Game and me! If your team wins, then Panther gets what he wants, he gets control of the NFWA. But if we win, none of you can show your faces in the NFWA ever again!!!!!!! How does that sound?

Triple H: I like that!

Trish: Yeah!

Sniper: Well good! The challenge is on, all you bitches have to do is accept! And oh yeah…leave the flamethrowers at home damn it!

DD: Yeah! He got robbed in the last match! He ain't getting robbed again!

VJ: This match has started without the champion!!!!!!! Demp backs the Extremist to the buckle and is hammering away with hard rights to the jaw…Extremist is trying to fight back but Demp stops his offense with a kick to the groin!

DD: HAHA! The ultimate equalizer! Come on, Demp!

VJ: Rodney with a hard Irish whip…reversal by Extremist…DAMN! Did you hear Demp's back bounce off the buckle…tilt-a-whirl into a backbreaker!!!!!!!!!!!!! Rodney has been drilled and the Extremist bails to the floor!

DD: He's scared, Vince!

VJ: Uh…I think not! The Extremist is looking under the ring…he just pulled out a shovel and tosses it into the ring!!!!!!!! He just…he's looking for something…a wheel barrel?!

DD: What the hell?!

VJ: He just tossed a wheel barrel into the ring! And he's looking for more!

DD: Who puts this crap under there?!

VJ: Orlando Jones, Jr. Anyway…he's pulling out…is that…

DD: A sofa????!

VJ: It is not! That's a mini-refridgerator!!!!!!!! He just pulled out a mini fridge and tossed it into the ring…OH!!!!!!!!!! Demp with a baseball slide that knocks the Extremist into the steel barricade!!!!

DD: HAHAH! STEEEEEEEEL!

VJ: Idiot.

DD: Here comes the Champion! My hero Rage!

VJ: How many heroes you got…OH NO!!!!!!!! Baseball bat right to the knee of The Extremist!!!!!!!! Rage just nailed him right in the knee with that steel baseball bat…OH!!!!!! He slams him knee first right into the steel stairs!!!!!!!!! Rage is attacking the knee of the Extremist! Watch Rage now…he picked up the steps…HE DROPS THEM DOWN ACROSS THE KNEE OF EXTREMIST!!!!!!! And again!!!!!! Stop it!!!!!!!!!!

DD: HAHAHA! Rage is smoking the Extremist!!!!! And speaking of smoke…(reaches into his pocket but finds nothing) Hey! Damn it Vince, the weed is gone!!!!!!!

VJ: Oh that's a shame. Rage has the leg of the Extremist…he's going for a spinning toe hold! He's gonna try to injure the knee of…OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!! Rodney Demp!!!!!! Rodney just pulled out a roll of barbwire and wrapped it around the champion!!!!!!!!!!!! He…my God he stuck it right in Rage's mouth!!!!!! Rage is in horrible pain…

DD: Where the hell is my weed, Vince??? What did you do???! You took it, didn't you??!

VJ: (Ignoring Dave) Rodney has Rage by the hair…no…he's dragging him over by us…hip toss sends Rage right on top of the Central American Announce table!!!!!! Rage…oh no. He's bleeding horribly from the mouth! Rodney…he just came over here and snatched our pitcher of Kool-Aid!

DD: Yeah! I bet it was that skankhole that snatched my weed! Give it back, ya big jackass!

VJ: I thought Rodney was your hero?

DD: HEROES ARE FOR SUCKAS!!!!!!!!!!!!

VJ: OK. Demp has that pitcher of Kool-Aid and he's measuring Rage…OH!!!!!!!!!!! He just shattered the glass right over the head of Rage!!!!!!!!!!!! Rage may be dead over here…watch the Extremist…SPEAR!!!!!!!!!!! He just ran right through Rodney Demp with that spear and knocked Demp right onto that table!!!!!!!! The Extremist is on top of Demp and he's hammering away with big right hands…Rage is being crushed under the both of them! Dave is still looking for…his weed. GET YOUR HAND OUTTA MY POCKET!!!!!! (Slaps Dave) We've got all 3 participants in the match on that table! The Extremist is trying to climb to his feet…OH! Demp with a low blow!!!!!!!!!! The Extremist is hurt…Demp is back up and he's got him hooked…FLOWING…no!!!!!! Extremist counters with a right hand to the kidney…there's 1 to the head…OH MY GOSH!!!!!!!!!! The table just collapsed under the weight of those 3 men!!!!!! The back of Rage's head just bounced off of the…LOOK OUT DAVE!!!!!!!!

DD: AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

VJ: THE X-STREAM LINER THROUGH OUR ANNOUNCE TABLE ON DEMP!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Rodney is out!!!!!!!!! Rodney is out!!!!!! The Extremist with a cover…1…2…Rage breaks up the fall!

DD: (Picking a bag up off the floor) Hey! I found it!

VJ: Rage is still out of it but he mustered up the ener--GEEZ!!!!!!! The Extremist just grabbed Rage by the hair and slammed him into the concrete! And again! He picks Rage up and tosses him into the ring! The Extremist follows him in…Rage is busted wide open! The Extremist picks Rage up by the hair…Irish whip sends Rage to the buckle…he follows him in but rage moved!!!!!!! Rage moves out of the way and now he's got that shovel…WHAM!!!!!!! Rage just took his head off with that shovel!!!!!!!!!!! He makes the cover…the ref is way out of position…1…2…kickout by the Extremist!!!!! What a fight!

DD: (Lightning up and puffing) Yeah! I ain't done seen a fight like this since 1975 between Allan Jenkins and Ralph Wiggum.

VJ: From the Simpsons?

DD: Yeah.

VJ: Forget it. The Extremist has been lacerated and now Rage is climbing up to the top rope!!!!! Rage is setting up for something…FROG SPLASH! PERFECT EXECUTION!!!!! 1…2…OH!!!!!!!! Demp breaks it up!!!!! I'm sure that would've been all for the Extremist!

DD: You don't know nothing! (Blows smoke up into the air)

VJ: Rodney picks up Rage…Rage catches him with a hard right to the face…Demp fires back and we've got another slugfest in the ring!!!!!!! Rodney and Rage are going…

DD: Look out!!!!!!

VJ: Oh man! It's Tank!!!!!!! Tank is headed down to the ring…IT'S ICE CUBE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DD: HAHAHA!!!!!!!! Things just never work out for that bastard, do they?!

VJ: Ice Cube just popped out from under the ring and nailed Tank right in the head with that frozen lamb leg!!!!!!!! Ice Cube…My God!!!!!! He's beating the hell out of Tank on the floor! Ice Cube has lost it!!!!!!!

DD: HAHAHA! Look out Ice Cube!!!!!

VJ: OH NO!!!!!!!!! Demp just picked up that mini-fridge and threw it right at the head of Ice Cube!!!!!! He just knocked him out with an ice box!!!!!!

DD: Oh you're real funny, aren't you?

VJ: Yes. Rodney just floored Cube..

VJ and DD: DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DD: Oh my goodness, Vince! Can you believe that?!

VJ: Rage just picked up that wheel barrel and bashed Rodney over the head with it!!!!!!!! Rodney is down and out!!! Rage is waiting for the Extremist to get up now! Here it comes…

DD: Get ready to be Annihilated…HAHAH--WHAT THE??!

VJ: Rage went for Total Annihilation but the Extremist saw it coming and shoved him into the rope…OH NO!!!!!!!!! Tank with a sledgehammer to the small of the back of Rage…X-STREAM LINER!!!!!!!!!!! Cover…1…2…WE'VE GOT A NEW CHAMPION!!!!!!!!

DD: That's a pile of sh*t and you know it!!!!!!

VJ: Thanks to Tank, the Extremist comes out on top…ICE BREAKER ON TANK!!!!!!!!!! Tank has just been KO'D on the floor by Ice Cube…Ice Cube enters the ring with that lamb leg…he swings at the Extremist and misses…DDT!!!!!!!!!!! The Extremist…

DD: WHAT THE HELL IS THAT???!

VJ: That's…that's Bozo!!!!!! Bozo da Klown just ran out to the ring…TAZOR!!!!!!!! He just shocked the new champion with a Tazor!!!!!!! We've got another referee out here!

DD: 24/7, remember that, Vince!

VJ: The Extremist…he's laughing! The Extremist is laughing!

DD: Yeah! People tend to laugh when they see no good pissants get the piss kicked into them!

VJ: The Extremist…he must be delerious! Bozo picks him up…PILEDRIVER!!!!!!!!! He makes the cover and the ref counts…1…2…Rodney Demp breaks up the count…FLOWING DDT!!!!!!!!!!!!! Demp just killed…he makes the cover…1…2…Tank pulls Demp out of the ring and…nails him with a right hand…here comes Insane!!!!!!! Insane is in the ring…he just covered the Extremist…1…2…Rodney pulls him out of the ring!!!!!!

DD: Vince! Hold my weed! I'm gonna try to get in this!

VJ: (Sighs) but…

DD: And if I find out you smoked some, I'll bust a cap in your ass! What in the World?!

VJ: Referee Al Gore just covered The Extremist and he's counting his own pin…1…2…referee Jim Jonathan breaks it up! OH! Right hand to the head by Gore…Jonathan fires back….

VJ: It's pure insanity out here! Ladies and gentlemen, don't go away! The World Title match is up next!!!!!!!!!!

Rage: Extremist!!!!!

Extremist: What?!

Rage: Gimme back my belt!

DD: Uh oh! It ain't over Vince!!!!!!!!

VJ: Rage is going after the Extremist and Tank in the parking lot!!!!! Rage is being double teamed! Wait! It's Scarlet KV!!!!!!

DD: Huh?! He's helping Rage?!

VJ: Yes! Scarlet KV is attacking Tank! He just nailed Extremist in the ribs with a pipe! Rage makes the cover on Extremist…1…2…kickout!!!!!!! This is amazing! I don't think I've ever seen anything like this…Rage and KV are going at it now!!!!!! The co-TV champions are going at it in the parking lot…Tank just grabbed the Extremist and threw him into that limo…they're escaping!

Rage: Get your ass back here!

DD: HAHA!

VJ: Rage is chasing the limo out to the street. KV is chasing Rage out to the street…referee Al Gore is chasing the both of them out to the…

DD: Oh my God, Vince!!!!!!! Did you see that???!

VJ: Rage just jumped hopped onto the back of that limo…Rage just hopped through the sunroof!!!!!! Rage is inside the limo…KV just hopped on the back of the limo…he just hopped in through the sunroof too!!! Al Gore is doing the same!!!!! My God! We've got an X-Treme Title match going on in the back of a limo!!!!!! I have never seen anything like this in my life!!!!!!!

World Title: Big Foot (Champion) Vs Ice Cube

DD: I can feel it! Tonight we have a NEW World Heavyweight Champion! 3 time, 3 time, 3 time, 3 time, 3 time, 3 time, 3 time….

VJ: Will you shut the hell up?????! Damn it?! Ice Cube picks Big Foot back up to his feet…Irish whip sends him flying into the buckle! Cube charges in and he's caught!

DD: NO!!!!!!!!

VJ: Big Foot catches him by the throat and lifts him high into the air!!!!!!!!! Ice Cube…he's being choked out!!!!

DD: Damn it! He has got to be disqualified! No! Strip him of the title!!!!!!

VJ: Stop it! He send Cube crashing down hard to the canvas!!!!!!!! Ice Cube doesn't know what hit him I think…Big Foot charges in with the big boot but miss…OH! He crotched himself on the top rope! Big Foot is hurt…ICE BREAKER!!!!!!!!

DD: HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's over!!!!!!!!!

VJ: Ice Cube with the Ice Breaker sends Big Foot tumbling to the floor! He caught it right on the jaw!!!!! Big Foot has to be out!!!!!! Referee Jenkins is putting the count down…1…2…3…4…5…6…7…8…9…10!!!!!

DD: Wow!!!!!

DD: It's over Vince! Your new World Champion….

VJ: The Title cannot change hands as a result of a countout!

DD: Sure it can. Ask my momma.

VJ: The title cannot change hands…

DD: Screw you! And gimme back my weed, asslick!

VJ: Big Foot is barely moving on the floor and Ice Cube has the mic.

Ice Cube: Hell no!!!!!!!!!! If you think I'm leaving here without my belt you've got another thing coming! Big Foot, bitch, get your fat ass off the floor and get back in the ring and face me like a man!!!!!!!!!!!!! C'mon!!!!!!

DD: Yeah, Big Foot! Face him like a man!

VJ: The match is over…Big Foot is barely conscious!

DD: Stop making excuses! Ice Cube beat his ass in record time, and now he wants his belt!

VJ: Well Big Foot…wait a minute! He just told the ref to ring the bell! Big Foot just told the ref to restart the match!

VJ: Here we go again! Big Foot climbs onto the ring apron…Ice Cube with a running elbow sends the Champ flying into the guardrail!!!!!!! Big Foot is down on the floor…Ice Cube is laughing! He's laughing!

DD: He's the new World Champ! Like it or not! Where's he going now?

VJ: Ice Cube just went to the floor and grabbed a steel chair! I don't like this!

DD: Here comes some ice cold STEEEEEEEEL!!!!!

VJ: OH! Hard shot to the back of the head of Big Foot! That should be a DQ! Big Foot has been KO'd on the floor and look up on the ramp! It's Lightning! Lightning is on his way down to the ring!

DD: get a good look, Lightning! This is what's gonna happen to you at Slam Fest!

VJ: Lightning has a smile on his face…Ice Cube with a side Russian Leg Sweep sends the back of Big Foot's head into the steel barricade!!!!! Ice Cube he's pointing at Lightning and Lightning has a smile on his face. What's he smiling for.

DD: he never liked Big Foot.

VJ: That's not true.

DD: It is so. He always told me he hates him cuz he's adopted.

VJ: Big Foot isn't adopted! Stop that! Ice Cube has Big Foot back in the ring now…side suplex!!!!!

DD: Plus he said Big Foot is a worthless alcoholic!

VJ: Will you…

DD: And a drunk!

VJ: That's the same…

DD: What a lush!

VJ: Will you shut up?! Ice Cube is climbing to the top rope…FLYING ELBOW!!!!!!!! It's about to be all for Big Foot!

DD: Yeah! Normally his illegitimate orphan ass would be getting a taste of liquor, but now he's about to get another taste of the ICE BREAKER!!!!!!

VJ: Here it comes…YES!!!!!! ICE BREAKER! Big Foot is out…Ice Cube is cocky! He's arrogant…1 finger on the chest…1…2…

VJ: What the hell?!

DD: What happened?!

VJ: Wait a minute…that's Squirrel's song! What is going on?!

DD: Well we saw Squirrel snap…

VJ: Who the hell is…

DD: IT'S ICE CUBE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

VJ: No silly. Ice Cube is in the ring!

DD: No skankhole! It's Ice Cube THE RAPPER! WESTSIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDDDE!!!!!!!!!!!

VJ: (Embarrassed to be sitting next to Dave) Ice Cube is with Lightning…they're staring at Ice Cube in the ring…and now we've got police!

DD: Quick Vince! Stash the weed!!!!!! Run Ice Cube, run!!!!!!

VJ: It looks like Ice Cube is in trouble with the law. I tell ya, it seems like these rappers can't keep out of tr…wait a minute! They're not arresting Ice Cube…they're arresting Ice Cube!!!!!!!!

DD: huh?

VJ: Ice Cube the wrestler!

DD: For what?!

VJ: I don't know…Ice Cube just said something about gimmick infringment! What does this mean?

DD: it mean Ice Cube is being screwed out of the World Title!!!!!!!!!

VJ: Jenkins is putting down another count…1….2….3….4…5..6…7…8…9…10!!!

DD: NOOO!!!!!!!

DD: Bullsh*t!!!!!!!!!!! What the f*ck kinda sh*t was that????

VJ: Ice Cube is going directly to jail!

DD: This match ain't over!

VJ: The police say it's over!

DD: F*CK THE POLICE!!!!!!! CUBE GOT SCREWED!!!!!!!

VJ: Lightning is in the ring with his cousin…whoa!!!!!!! Big Foot just shoved Lightning!

DD: Wait a sec! We could have something interesting here!

VJ: I think Big Foot wanted to win it fair…he looks a little mad at Lightning!

DD: Punch his head in Big Foot!

VJ: We've got an argument on our hands…Panther and Chyna are headed out here to the ring…Big Foot just shoved Lightning down…Lightning shoved him back!!!!!!! It's getting heated in there!!!!!! Panther and Chyna are trying to separate the 2…what's going on between the Demolitionists?!

DD: They're gonna explode!

VJ: Fans we're out of time! So long!!!!!