VJ: Huh…oh my. We've got Ice Cube and Lightning in the ring all alone! 1 on 1! Man to man!

DD: HAHA! This could be good!

VJ: You can just feel the intensity between these 2! Lightning and Ice Cube…are they gonna go at it right here?!

DD: I think so!!!!

VJ: Lightning and Cube going face to face…this crowd is about to explode in here…

DD: Here we go Vince!

VJ: YES!!!!! ICE CUBE AND LIGHTNING!!!! THERE THEY GO AGAIN!!! ONE ON ONE!!! MANO Y MANO!!!!! THESE 2 MEN ARE TRYING TO TEAR ONE ANOTHER APART!!!

DD: I am loving this!!!

VJ: OH! Ice Cube with a rake to the face of Lightning! Irish whip sends him into the ropes….Lightning reverses and sends Ice Cube flying over the top!!!!! Lightning follows Cube out to the floor…and he's got steel!!!

DD: HAHA! STEEEEEEEEEL!!!!

VJ: Lightning is waiting for Ice Cube to get back to his feet…HERE WE GO…OH!!!! Hard chairshot knocks Cube into the crowd!!!! The World Champion is standing tall…and he's not done!!!!

DD: Get away Ice Cube!! Get away!!!!

VJ: Ice Cube is crawling to get away from Lightning…but Lightning is climbing into the crowd after him!!! Lightning is chasing Ice Cube through the crowd…he will chase him all over the state of Florida if he has to!

DD: Look, I'm not necessarily an Ice Cube fan but he doesn't deserve this!

VJ: Lightning has caught up to Ice Cube…RIGHT HAND!!! He sends Cube staggering down that corridor…there's another sends him staggering back into that door…Cube opens the door…he's headed out to the street!!!! This is getting out of hand here!

DD: Shut up! This is great! This is great as hell!

VJ: Ice Cube has chased Lightning out to the streets of Tampa!!! Lightning has Cube by the hair again…right hand sends him into that limo…OH! Cube with a thumb to the eyes!!

DD: HAHA! Here we go!!

VJ: Cube tosses Lightning headfirst into that limo!!!!! Ice Cube…oh wait a minute!!! FIRESTORM!!!!! IT'S FIRESTORM…BIG TIME ON ICE CUBE!!!!!!! Ice Cube has been laid out with the Big Time!!! What the hell is the meaning of this!

DD: This night is gonna turn out to be the Dynasty's after all!

VJ: Firestorm has Cube…he tosses him into that limo with Lightning!!! He just locked the door!!!!!

Firestorm: (Motioning to someone) Aight! Let's go!!!!

VJ: What the hell?!

VJ: What the hell is that?!

DD: Oh my God! Look!

VJ: That's a Mack Truck…Firestorm just motioned for that Mack truck…OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT TRUCK JUST PLOWED INTO THAT LIMO!!!!!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!! WHAT IN THE DAMN HELL IS GOING ON?!??!!?!

DD: HAHAHAAHAH! That was great!!!!

VJ: There are human beings in that limo!!!!!!!! Who is that?! Who the hell was driving that truck…oh damn it! It's Panther!!!!!! Panther is here!!!!!

DD: HAHA!!! Dynasty Rulz Vince!! Dynasty Rulz!!!!

VJ: Panther just rammed that limo with a Mack Truck! Lightning and Ice Cube are inside the limo!! What kinda sick bastards are the Dynasty?!! Damn them to hell!!!!!!

VJ: Ladies and gentlemen…WE ARE LIVE!!!! From the sold out MCI Center, the Nation's Capital, welcome to Danger Ground!!! I'm Vince Johnson alongside Delaware Dave, and what a night we have ahead of us!

DD: Damn right! I'm fired up!

VJ: Yes! Tonight the Tag Team Titles will be on the line as the New Champion Downcast and a mystery partner does battle with Rodney and Staks, the new Elites! Who do you think Downcast will choose to be his partner!

DD: I don't know! He's been ringing my phone off the hook for the past few days begging me to step in there with him…but I couldn't do that! I have to save your sorry ass out here in the commentary booth!

VJ: Yeah, sure! Downcast will also do battle with Johnny Havok tonight, and the TV Title will be on the line in a Steel Cage ladder match! Tonight could be a Downcast night! Also Big Foot defends the Toughman Title against Blade in an Armageddon Rulz match, which will take place in an empty warehouse somewhere Washington. We will also see Rage defend the X-Treme Title against the Extremist in a 1^st ever Mile High Match, which will take place inside a plane!!!!

DD: What the hell kinda bullsh*t is that?!

VJ: What?!

DD: I mean…just cuz Rage's move is Rare Aire doesn't mean this match should actually take place in the air…that's no fair!!! Knowing that psychotic ass Extremist, he'll try to throw Rage out of the Plane!

VJ: Well Rage deserves it after some of the actions we've seen from he and the Dynasty in the last few weeks. Speaking of which, we saw that horrible Mack truck attack by Panther and the Dynasty on Ice Cube and Lightning this past Friday Night on the Slam, but as Newsman reported on NFWA X-Tra, both men were released on Saturday, but what kind of condition are they in?!

DD: They can't be in good condition Vince! Remember…this was a Mack truck they got hit with! I don't care what they say, they're still hurting after Friday Night!

VJ: Well no matter what, Lightning and Ice Cube will do battle tonight for the World Heavyweight Title will be on the line! What kind o…

DD: Speak of the devil, if it isn't the root of all evil!!!!

VJ: Stop it! Lightning is backstage…he must be waiting for Panther! Can you imagine what he will do to Panther when he gets here tonight…

DD: Uh oh!!!

VJ: That must be him! Panther must be here!

DD: Don't open the door Panther!! That idiot Lightning is waiting!

VJ: I can't believe it! Lightning is gonna get his hands on Panther right he…

DD: Whoa! It's Ice Cube!!!

VJ: The challenger for the World Title…and you know there's bad blood there…OH! He hit Lightning!! Lightning hit him back…ICE CUBE AND LIGHTNING ARE GOING AT IT IN THE BACK!!! THEY'RE GOING AT IT AGAIN!!!!!

DD: HAHAHA! Those 2 idiots!

VJ: Lightning and Ice Cube are tearing into each other…we've got officials are back there trying to separate Lightning and Cube…wow! What's gonna happen when they step in the ring tonight?!

DD: I hope they destroy one another!!!

DD: Freak?! You've got some damn nerve!

VJ: Tina has a steel chair and she's trying to get at Stephanie, Shyanne and Diamond…referee Jenkins is trying to hold Tina back and get that chair out of th…

VJ: Diamond with a spear on Shyanne and they're going at it!!!!!!!

DD: HAHA! Strip her! Go for the bra! Go for the bra!!!

VJ: Diamond is pounding away on Shyanne…Shyanne manages to reverse and now she's pounding the Women's Champ! Stephanie is on the back of Shyanne and she's choking away!!! She's got a hold of Shyanne's top…and Shyanne has a handful of Diamond's hair…

DD: (Drooling into the mic) Damn it Vince! This is the best damn catfight ever!

VJ: Stephanie Jenkins is still trying to get that chair away from Tina…c'mon! Get some control of this! Diamond isn't even in this match!

DD: I don't give a damn who's in the match! I can see CLEEEEEEEEEEEAVAGE!!!!!

VJ: You really need a girlfriend. Stephanie Jenkins is finally in there to try and break up this 3 way catfight…OH!!!!! DAMN IT!!!! TINA WITH A CHAIRSHOT ON STEPHANIE JENKINS!!!!! What the hell is wrong with her?! I can't believe she did that! She's got that chair again…THERE'S A SHOT TO THE HEAD OF STEPHANIE MCMAHON!!!! Shyanne still has Diamond by the hair and she's choking the life out of her…Tina off the ropes…VICIOUS CLOTHESLINE!!!!!! She almost took Shyanne's head off!!!! And she's got that chair again…what the hell is she gonna--NO!!!!!! Hard shot to the ribs of Shyanne!!!! There's one to the head of Diamond!!!!!

DD: HAHA! Tina is destroying just about every woman in this match!

VJ: She has snapped…someone has to stop her..OH GOD!!!! Another hard shot to the ribs of Diamond!!!!

DD: Ya see this Vince! It doesn't matter if it's the men or the ladies, the Dynasty will always reign supreme!

VJ: Yeah?! Well Tina ain't no lady!

DD: Oh like you would know! You've never touched one that wasn't inflatable! Jackoff!

VJ: Stephanie is getting back up…Tina has her by the hair…DDTINA!!!!! She just spiked Stephanie McMahon…she has absolutely assaulted everyone in this match…

VJ: Oh great, what now?!

DD: I don't like this, Vince! That is not regulation theme music!

VJ: Wait…look in the aisle! It's Mandy!!!! Mandy is on her way out to the ring…and look at the look in Tina's eyes! She wants a piece of Mandy after Friday Night!

DD: I think I want a piece of Mandy too! Look at that outfit!

VJ: Mandy on her way down to the ring…Tina is ready for her…

DD: Wait! Turn around, Tina! Turn around!!!

VJ: OH!!!!! Diamond from behind with a chairshot to the back of the head of Tina and she goes flying to the outside!!!! Tina…Diamond just knocked her brains in!!!!

DD: She cannot do that, Vince! Disqualify that little hussy!

VJ: Disqu…first of all, Tina brought the chair into the match, 2^nd this damn match hasn't even started yet! And Mandy has Tina by the hair…Tina goes hard into the steel steps!! She has her again…Tina goes flying into the ringpost!!!! Mandy has her again…she just tossed Tina over the barricade and right into the front row!!!!

DD: No fair!! That little slut…she just violated Tina!!!

VJ: Tina has been taken out of this one…we've got referee Doug Peterson out here and he calls for the bell…

VJ: This match is finally underway…and look at the carnage in the ring! Diamond is bleeding, Shyanne is bleeding, Stephanie looks like she's 1/2 dead!

DD: She's gonna be fully dead when Tina wakes up! She's gonna beat her ass so bad…

VJ: Shyanne is moving!! She's trying to get over to Stephanie! Steph is out like a light…Shyanne throws an arm across the chest of Stephanie…Peterson with the count…1…2…Diamond!!!!! Diamond pulled the ref across the ring…she's not in this match!

DD: "She's not in the match!" Vince, do the world a favor and do something with your life…end it!

VJ: Aren’t we clever tonight? The ref is trying to get Diamond out of the ring…she's not in this match…Shyanne has that chair again! That damn chair…OH!!!! Right to the head of Diamond!!! Shyanne just KO'd the Women's Champ…Stephanie from behind with a handful of thong…what the…?! 1…2..kickout by Shyanne!!!!!! This match is out of control! Stephanie has Shyanne by the hair…Shyanne with…a low blow!

DD: Damn ass broad!

VJ: Stop it! The low blow attempt by Shy doesn't phase Stephanie…Steph is actually laughing at her…WHOA!!!! SPINEBUSTER BY SHYANNE!!!! Shyanne is all over Stephanie with vicious rights to the head…Steph has been busted wide open! Shyanne has her by the hair..she whips her into the ropes…dropkick right to the face! She rolls into the cover…1…2…Stephanie again kicks out! Shyanne looks a little frustrated!

DD: Damn right she's frustrated, cuz she knows it's only a matter of time before Tina gets back up and…

VJ: Will you stop it?! Shyanne has Stephanie again…Steph with a small package…1…2…kickout by Shyanne! This match is back and forth! Stephanie and Shyanne both back up…Steph with a rake at the face…boot to the stomach! She sends Shyanne into the ropes…she ducks the head and she's caught…

DD: uh oh!

VJ: Shyanne is going for it! The BUTTERFLY SUPLEX!!!! YES!!!!!! This one is over…

DD: Wait a minute Vince…

VJ: Shyanne hooks the leg…1…t…what in the world is Diamond…she just grabbed Shyanne by the hair…wait a damn minute…DIAMOND DROP!!!!!!! Diamond Drop on Shyanne!!!!

VJ: Diamond just cost Steph the match! What the hell was that about?!

DD: She just knocked Shyanne brains out!

VJ: Shyanne has won this via DQ and what is Diamond about to do here?! She has that damn chair again! We've seen it used so many times already in this match! Shyanne is trying to get back up…Diamond is measuring her…NO!!!!!!!! SHE JUST TOOK SHYANNE'S HEAD OFF WITH THAT CHAIRSHOT!!!!! SHYANNE IS DOWN!!!!!!

VJ: Can you believe that Dave?!

DD: No!!!

VJ: Diamond has just left Shyanne lying in the middle of the ring after what was without a shadow of a doubt the most out of control, brutal match in the history of the NFWA women's division!

Downcast: (On his phone) Yeah…so it's all set?!…Good…good! Yeah…(laughs) they won't even see it coming! HAHAHAHA!

KT: Excuse me…Downcast!

Downcast: (Still on the phone) HAHAHAHAHAHA…yeah! Rodney…he couldn't handle me alone…

KT: Downcast!!

Downcast: And Staks…who the hell is he?!…Exactly!!!…that's what I'm saying! And then I got Johnny Havok…

KT: DOWNCAST!!!!!!!!!!

Downcast: (Startled) Wha…what the hell is wrong with you?! Come in here yelling like that!!!

KT: I just wanted to…(Downcast takes his phone and whacks Taylor over the head with it) OWWWW!!! Damn it! I just wanted to ask you a question!!!

Downcast: Well…ok, ok! You wanna ask me a question…go ahead!

KT: Well…I wanted to know if…if you have a partner for tonight.

Downcast: Uh…maybe.

KT: Well…if you do, do you mind telling us who it is?

Downcast: You wanna know who my partner is tonight Taylor? No…shut up! Look, I you pieces of trash always trying to get in somebody's business!

Hibiki: Yeah! Never give us any privacy!

Downcast: You're gonna find out who my partner is, but you're gonna have to wait just like Rodney, just like Staks and just like the rest of the World!

Hibiki: Yeah! You're gonna have to wait!

Downcast: Rodney, Staks, if you're watching this, don't worry about who my partner is gonna be tonight! What you need to do is get ready to get the beating of your lives…and you had damn sure better BEWARE OF DISPEAR!!!!!!

Hibiki: Yes! And tonight, Saiyako Style will reign supreme! YAHOOO!!!! (Pats Downcast on the shoulder)

Downcast: (Turns to Hibiki/looks annoyed) Man…who the hell…

VJ: Wait a minute…AWW COME ON!!!!!! Downcast with a clothesline on Dan Hibiki!!

DD: HAHAHAHA! That was great! Get that little idiot!

VJ: Downcast is stomping away to the midsection of Dan Hibiki! He didn't do anything to you damn it! Leave him alone! Leave him alone! NO!!! TOTAL DISPEAR!!!!!!!! Downcast has just destroyed Dan Hibiki! WHY???!!! WHY DAMN IT?!?!?!

DD: It's official, Downcast is my new hero!!!!

VJ: Damn it!

DD:What? Staks has been here for a long time! Just not here, here.

VJ:True... Morpheus just locked up with stacks and he has him in a head lock, he is tighting it, Northern lights suplex by stacks! And morpheus landed it on his feet! Morphues drops into a pin 1 kickout! Staks the true thug is going thug on morpheus! Staks is dropping lefts and rights on morpheus! Irish whip and my god! Belly To belly suplex of the ropes!

DD:Crazy shit...Crazy shit

VJ:Give me the blunt!

DD:I don't **coughs smoke** have a blunt

VJ:**Grabs the blunt** whats this?

DD:oh... that? I like to call them dubies!

VJ:Whatever... Staks has morephues up and he just closelined him down! Ankle lock bye stacks! Morpheus takes advantage though he kicked stacks in the face, once,twice, three times and stacks gets up holding his sore jaw, Morphues kicked the legs out from underneath Staks! He hit his head hard! Morphes has staks set up for the Matrix, low blow, Morpheus holds on he hits the Matrix! 1…2…3! Wait…

VJ: Morpheus…the ref said he got the win but I don't know about that! It looked to me like Staks got his foot on the ropes!

DD: Why don't you take clean off those coke bottle glasses of yours! Staks got his ass beat!

VJ: I don’t think so! It looked like Staks got his foot on the ropes…we've got referee Al Gore on his way out here! He's talking to referee Jimmy Jonathan!!!

DD: Somebody tell that pinko, commie ass hippy to take his ass to the back before I bust a cap in it!

VJ: What is Al Gore saying to Jonathan?!

VJ: Al Gote has…what the hell did you just say?!

DD: This is bullsh*t, Vince! Nah, it's worse than that! It's yak sh*t!!!!! OOOOH! HAHAHAAH! Did you see that!?

VJ: Morpheus with a clothesline to the back of the head of Al Gote!!!

DD: Who the hell is Al Gote?!

VJ: Your momma's sister! Gore has been laid out by Morpheus…he's got Jonathan now! This Morpheus is out of control! He's going for the Matrix…NO!!! Jonathan shoved him right into a boot from Staks…THUG PLEX!!!!!! 1…2…3!!!!!!

DD: NOOOO!!!

DD: AHHH…that piece of…he had the tights!!!

VJ: He did not!!! Staks with a victory…

DD: He cheated his ass off and you know it! Where the hell is Clinton now?! Huh?! Where the hell?!

VJ: Staks…AWWW! What the hell? Morpheus is back up and he just hammered Staks from behind…MATRIX ON STAKS!!!!

DD: HAHA! Get him!!!!

VJ: Morpheus has just assaulted Staks from behind…oh wait! It's Rodney Demp with two chairs! He slides into the ring…BIG SHOT TO THE HEAD OF MORPHEUS!!!!

DD: You idiot!!! Somebody do something about this!

VJ: He hands one to stacks and they are beating the hell out of morpheus! Man they are beating the hell out of him! Rodney Has him, Flowing DDT! Stacks with a vicious chair shot to the head! That brought blood! What the hell? Downcast from the crowd with a steel chair! He is taking out the elites! Total Dispair on Rodney!!!!! Downcast has attacked from behind like a coward and now he's escaping! Damn him!!!!!

DD:HaHa! That is fucking a!

VJ:That is not,...Freaking A!

DD:I know, it is fucking A!

VJ:Shut up! Downcast is holding those tag team titles high! And he walks out on top of the world! But I've got a feeling, Dave! Tonight is not gonna be Downcast's night! I've got a feeling that the Elites are gonna walk out of here the Tag Team Champions!!!!

DD: HA! Why don't you feel this!! (Crotch chop)

VJ: THAT'S DISGUSTING!!!!!!!! Wait a minute…ladies and gentlemen…I just got word over my headset that our production crew has caught up with Panther…he's where?!

DD: Who the hell are you talking to?

VJ: The production crew has caught up with our CEO, and I just got word we're gonna hear from him a little later on tonight! But up next, Armageddon Rulz: Big Foot Vs Blade! Let's show you the history between these 2!!!

VJ: Ladies and gentlemen…

DD: Shhhh!!! Be vewy vewy qwiet! Blade's hunting faggots!

VJ: (Sighs) I apologize to anyone offended by that last comment by Delaware Dave. That was rude an uncalled for! Anyway, there you see Blade…he's got a barbwire baseball bat…but where is Big Foot?

DD: Knowing him he probably punked out of the match! I saw we ring the bell and hand the belt over to Blade.

VJ: Blade looks very impatient…I'm surprised. Big Foot is never usually late for a match! Where could he be.

DD: I think either one of 2 things happened. One, the big idiot probably got lost on his way to the warehouse, or 2, he's simply afraid of Blade!

VJ: No! Big Foot fears no one!

DD: HA! Let me tell you something about big guys like him! They have big bodies, small brains and even smaller hearts. There is absolutely no way…

DD: What the hell is that?! You fart or something?

VJ: Sounds like a bike or somethi…oh god!

DD: Blade!!! Look out!

VJ: There he is! There's Big Foot! And he's on a bike!

DD: That's not fair! He cannot drive a bi…

VJ: Big Foot just sped that bike in Blade direction…WHOOOOA!!!!! Blade just moved out of the way!!! Big Foot almost ran down Blade with that bike!

DD: You big idiot! What the hell is the matter with you! Sweet mother of holy bat sh*t he's coming back! Get away Blade! Get away!

VJ: OHHHH! Blade again just able to dodge Big Foot's bike!

DD: This is no fair! That…this is wrestling damn it! Not a damn demolition derby!

VJ: Big Foot is laughing!

DD: Yeah, you laugh! You piece of garbage! I would love to see Blade slap the smile off his ugly face!

VJ: Big Foot is reving that bike up again! Blade…look at the fear in his eyes! He looks like a dear caught in headlights…here comes Big Foot again…OH SH*T!!!!!!! He killed him!!!!! He had to take his head off with that shot!

DD: HAHAHAAHAHA! Beautiful!!! Simply beautiful!!!

VJ: Big Foot rode that bike towards Blade, and Blade damn near decapitated him with that barbwire bat!

DD: See Vince, I told ya! Big body, little brain! And that big jackass just got his brains beat out…get him again! Yeah!

VJ: Blade with that bat right to the ribs of Big Foot! And again! Oh my! The barbwire…it's actually ripping into his skin!!!! Big Foot…OOOOOOOH!!!!

DD: Aww man!!!!!

VJ: Blade with that bat just nailed Big Foot right in the…

DD: Those biggity biggity balls, Vince!

VJ: Big Foot is hurt badly!!!! I cannot believe how sadistic Blade is being!

DD: Hey shut your yap! I'm willing to bet $45.58 that Big Foot doesn't even have balls!

VJ: After that last shot he probably doesn't! And now Blade has that bike of Big Foot's! He's lifting it into the air…what's he gonna do with that?!

DD: He's gonna…OH!!!! HAHAHAHHA!

VJ: He just dropped that bike right across the head of Big Foot! He may have just crushed his cranium! Damn it! Stop the match! Stop it!!!

DD: See, let that be a lesson to all the kiddies out there! Road Rage won't lead to nothing but having a 500-lb bike dropped on your head!

VJ: How good! Blade makes the cover…the referee makes the count…1…2…WHAT THE?! How in the hell did he kick out of that?! Big Foot manage that?!

DD: I dunno! I know he cheated though! I can see it in his eyes!

VJ: Blade can't believe it! He just walked over…he's got that motorcycle helmet that got knocked off of the head of Big Foot earlier…WHAM!!! Right to the head! And again! Blade is going berserk!

DD: HUSSS! HUSSS!! HUSSS!!

VJ: Idiot! Blade has beat Big Foot to a bloody mes... oh No!

DD: OH YEAH!

VJ: C'mon! This is going to far! He's got a sword for God's sake! Damn it don't do it…stop this ref!!! Stop it!!! NOOOOO…Big Foot rolls out of the way!!! Blade just tried to ram that sword right into the heart of the Toughman Champion! And Dave, you have a smile on your face! How can you possibly be happy about something like this?

DD: Happy?! I'm disgusted!

VJ: Well I'm glad you are!

DD: Yeah! I mean…he was standing at point blank range…how in the hell did he miss?! I'm disappointed in that young man!

VJ: You're sickening! Blade is still going after Big Foot with that sword…Big Foot is busted wide open and he can barely see…Blade is gaining on him! Here he comes…look out Big Foot…OH MY!!!!! Blade again tried to chop Big Foot with that sword, but Big Foot was able to get a pipe into the way! Blade is trying to stab Big Foot with that sword…Big Foot desperately using that pipe to try and fend Blade off! That sword is getting closer to Big Foot's face…

DD: This is it! He's gonna get him right--what the OH!!!!!! Damn…OH GOD!!!!!

VJ: Oh my goodness!!!! Big Foot used those strong legs of his to kick Blade back into a bed of nails that was set up against that wall, and then the Bed just fell across the body on Blade! Blade is trapped underneath at least 300 nails…and look at Big Foot! He's standing!!!! How in the hell is he standing! He can't be human! He can't be!

DD: Of course not! He's more of a jackass! Or maybe one of those overgrown Canadian cockroaches you find up in Vancouver!

VJ: Would you…nevermind! Blade is trapped underneath the bed of nails…and Big Foot is climbing on top of some kind of platform! What is he gonna do?!

DD: Something gay no doubt!

VJ: What's with you?! Stop it!!! Big Foot is up on that platform…at least 10 feet in the air…OH GOD!!!!!!!! SENTON BOMB ONTO THE BED OF NAILS!!! 400 POUND SENTON ONTO THAT BED OF NAILS!!! BLADE IS TRAPPED UNDERNEATH!!!! HE MAY BE DEAD!!!!!!! Big Foot…he just moved that bed of nails off of Blade's body…he makes the cover…1…2…OH MY GOD!!!! BLADE KICKED OUT!!!

DD: What the…?!

VJ: I can't believe he did that! What guts by both of these men!!!! Blade and Big Foot…Big Foot looks frustrated!

DD: How can you tell! I can't even see his face, he's bleeding so much!

VJ: Big Foot…he's staggering a bit. He has to be wondering what he must do to beat Blade…uh oh!!!! And he just may have found it!

DD: Vince…tell me that's not what I think it is!!!!

VJ: That's a C4 explosive!! Big Foot has a C4!!!

DD: Damn it! This isn't right! He's taking it too far!

VJ: Big Foot…he's got Blade by the hair! He looks to be going for the finish…

DD: C'mon! Do something about this crap! Somebody call the cops! Call…call Ghostbusters! The Unibomber…Bob Backlund!! Somebody help Blade!!!!

VJ: Big Foot has him setup…the Demolition Bo---

VJ and DD: OHHHHHHH MYYYYYYYYYYYYYY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

VJ: That had to be the damndest Demolition Bomb I have ever seen!!!! Big Foot hooks the leg…the ref with the count…1…2…3!!!!!!

VJ: Big Foot with an amazing come from behind win…Dave, what about that?!

DD: What about that?! That was the most disgraceful display of cheating I have ever seen in my life! I mean…c'mon!!! Blade got robbed! Slicked! Tricked! Bamboozled!!!!

VJ: Will you shut up?! Big Foot…what a win to retained the Toughman Title!! And by God he deserves it!

DD: I don't give a damn what you say! Somewhere down the line…I don't care if I have to get in there and do it myself, Big Foot is gonna get his fat, cellulite ass beat! And that's a promise!

VJ: Yeah sure! Ladies and gentlemen, I'm being told that we have are CEO Panther…via satellite from Philadephia! Do we have it ready?

VJ: Panther, can you hear us?

Panther: I hear ya Vince!

DD: HI PANTHER!!!! HI CHYNA!!

Panther and Chyna: Hey Dave!

VJ: Panther…I think the 1^st question on everybody's mind is…why aren't you here tonight? I mean…you've never missed a PPV since the start of the NFWA one year ago, and I bet that a lot of people…are viewers at home are wondering that maybe this has something to do with the mack truck incident Friday Night.

Panther: What about the mack truck incident?

VJ: Well…

Panther: What are you trying to say, Vince?

VJ: (Nervously) Well…it's just…

DD: NO!!! Don't try to back pedal now! Panther, you should've heard the evil things he was saying about you and Chyna earlier!

VJ: Oh stop it! That's a damn lie and you know it!

DD: He said Chyna had the clap!

Chyna: WHAT?!

VJ: (Sighs) Will you shut up?! Not you Chyna! Dave! I was saying, we saw Lightning lying in wait for you earlier tonight…many people have to be wondering…or maybe it passed through their minds…

Panther: Vince, do yourself a favor and shut up for a second. Now Vince, you know I don't give a damn about you and you should be down on your hands and knees thanking me for even allowing you to work in the presence of people as great as me, as great as the Dynasty. Now, I don't even know why I'm wasting my time with you, but it sounds like you're trying to say that the reason I'm not in Washington now is cuz I'm afraid of Lightning! Afraid of Ice Cube! Is that what you're saying?

VJ: Well…it's just that you're usually always here…and yeah that's what I'm asking. I said it!

Panther: (Laughs) Vinny! Geez…that's funny. Let me tell you something…see, I would be there tonight, but there are things more important to me than the NFWA…such as my loving girlfriend Chyna. I mean…you may not know this, but today is the 2 year anniversary of the very 1^st time that we…uh…er…well it doesn't matter! It's a damn anniversary, and I'd rather have a nice evening here with the wife than there where any one of those ass scratching hooligans in the locker room can try and ruin our night.

VJ: So what you're saying is that you're afraid to be here tonight!

Panther: Wha--no! I didn't say that! Vince…

DD: panther, don't worry about this idiot! If brains were sunshine, he'd be a black hole!

Panther: (laughs) That's true. But Vince, you and the whole world knows that I don't fear anyone. As for tonight…Lightning and Ice Cube, World Title on the line! See, you saw these 2 in the back earlier, fighting like a bunch of savages, like they got no kinda manners! That match later is gonna be out of control and…we can't have that! We can't! So…being the responsible CEO that I am…to make sure that this match doesn't get too out of hand I'm gonna put a new stipulation in place! The World Title match will be contested under the international outlaw rules…which says in the event of a DQ, the World Title can change hands. And just to spice this up a little bit, if anyone interferes tonight and happens to…help Lightning… Lightning will be fired! Isn't that lovely?! (Crowd boos)

VJ: That's…thank you Panther.

Panther: Later Vince!

VJ: That's horrible! Panther…once again the CEO is trying to screw Ice Cube out of the World Title! What a horrible…

DD: Hey hey! It's in the interest of fairness!

VJ: Fairness my ass! I have a feeling Lightning is gonna be screwed here tonight!

DD:Oh Hell Yeah!

VJ:Don't use cheap WWF sayings! *slaps dave on the head*

DD:Yozers...

VJ:Krazed locks up with suirrel and he just tossed him to the other side of the ring! Squirrel pulls himself up and he is shocked by the strength of Krazed!

DD:**Crying** why you gotta hit me like that?

VJ:Ok... Squirrel just ran threw Krazed with a spear! Krazed is hurt he is holding his mid section and he is hurt! Squirrel picks him up and DDT! Squirrel has him again, powerbomb! Squirrel is show boating for the crowd, he is flexing and Krazed from behind with a sleeper hold! He has squirrel and he isn't letting go!

DD:Its aint! not isnt

VJ:Shut up. Krazed is tightning up! Squirrel is trying to hit him with a low blow but can't do it, squirrel is going out! The ref rasies his arm, its down, again, down, once more...he held it up! Squirrel with a snapmare! Squirrel held on and know he has Krazed in a sleeper! Krazed with a low blow he turns around and knee to the stomache! He toses Squirrel into the ropes and what a reverse by squirrel! He just about killed Krazed with that spear! Krazed is hurt, squirrel is also though.

DD:They suck! Exept for Squirrel that is...

VJ:Why didn't you just say Krazed sucks then?

DD:Don't question my athourity!

VJ:Right... Squirrel put his arm over Krazed cheast 1,2, Kickout by Krazed! Squirrel is on the top rope! He is going for a corcksrew takeout! Reversed by Krazed in to the pin! 1,2 Squirrel roles on top of Krazed! 1, Krazed reverses it into a pin for him 1,2, squirrel with another reverse! 1,2, Krazed roles Squirrel up again! 1,2,3 NO! Squirrel kicked out! Squirrel is up and he just kicked Krazed in the mouth!Krazed out of no were! Super Nova, Supernova! Krazed isn't going for the pin!

DD:Ha! He is to hurt, Squirrel really kicked his ass!

VJ:Krazed is up and he is resting against the turnbuckle, he goes up to squirrel and here is the pin, 1,2 squirrel reverses into an arm bar submission! krazed is going crazy trying to get out! Krazed is reaching for the ropes, he is to far! Krazed is kicking and screaming! Squirrel aplies more preasure! Listen to Krazed scream! Finnaly! Krazed reaches the ropes! Squirrel won't let go! The ref is threatning to DQ him!

DD:Krazed just tapped! Krazed just tapped out!

VJ:What the hell? The ref rings the bell.

VJ:Krazed is up and holding his arm, he is writhing in pain, he just snatched the mic from our ring annoncer!

Krazed:I was at the ropes! I was holding the ropes! What the hell?

DD:What the hel;?Know refere Stephine Jenkins has the mic

Jenkins:This match will continue with the score zero to zer-

VJ:Squirrel just snatched the mic from her!

Squirrel:I was annonced the winner! I am not leaving here with out the first fall!

VJ:Krazed with a school boy! He has the tights 1,2,3!Krazed has one the second fall! Wait, or would that be the first fall?

DD:What the hell? Squirrel has been robed of the first fall!

VJ:Squirrel is all over krazed this a a bar room brawl know! Squirrel just tossed the big seven footer outside! He has a chair know, and oh god! He just smacked the arm of Krazed! And again, and again! Krazed grabed his balls!

DD:That fag!

VJ:He just lifted Squirrel up by the testicles! Look at squirrels face! He dropped him on our table, know Krazed has himset up for the super nova on the table!Knee to the mid section by Squirel and DDT on Krazed threw the table! My god! What carnage!

DD:Yozers! That had to hurt!

VJ:Yozers?

DD:Its the new word! All the cool people say it!

VJ:Ok... Krazed is getting up, he has blood gushing from his head, that is nasty! He just picked up squirrel by his long hair, He tosed him in the ring! Krazed has a chair, he is in the ring and swing and a mis, he is trying to orphain Squirrels childeren! Squirrel is in a corner begging for mercy

VJ & DD:HOLEY SHIT!

VJ:Squirrel just kicked Krazed in the testicals as hard as he could and that made Krazed bring that chair down from over his head and he broke the chair over squirrels head! Both men are out! The refere is counting.... 1,2,3,4,5,6, Krazed is up! 7,8,9, Krazed just picked up Squirrel! He could have won right their! Krazed has squirrel on the top rope, Oh my god... he would not do this. He has squirrel set up to looks to be like a "super" super nova!Christ all mighty! He hit it! Krazed goes for the pin... 1,2,3!

DD: NOOOOO!!!!

VJ: Krazed with the Supernova has just picked up the win over Squirrel! Listen to this crowd go wild!!!!!

DD: Damn it Squirrel! What the hell is wrong with you?!

VJ: We've got Firestorm and Rage out here with chairs!! This isn't good…KRAZED ESCAPES THROUGH THE CROWD!!!! The Dynasty has been had…and look at Rage! He's furious!!!

DD: I would be too! That damn idiot Squirrel!

VJ: There's already heat between these 2 after Friday…Rage just shoved Squirrel! Rage…he's livid!!

DD: Alright! Calm down guys! It's just Krazed! Nothing to worry about!

VJ: Firestorm is getting in there to try and separate these 2…Squirrel is yelling at his partner…there's definite dissention in the Dynasty!

DD: it is not! You're crazy!

VJ: Ladies and gentlemen, what a night it's been so far! But what will it be like next month, June 17, Maximum Carnage!!!!!!

Downcast: Yeah…uh huh! It's almost time!…yeah! Keep your eyes on the TV screen…keep em open! I'm gonna throw up the signal…(Spots Dan Hibiki hiding behind a wall) HEY!!! What did I tell you?!

Hibiki: Uh oh!

Downcast: I said get outta here! Get the hell…(grabs a huge bucket of hot coffee and tosses it over Hibiki's head)

Hibiki: AAHHHHH

Downcast: Son of a bitch! I told you…(starts to stomp him)

VJ: Good God! Downcast…he's out of control!!!! Downcast is out of control…

DD: Uh oh! Look out Downcast! It's the Elites!!!

VJ: Staks and Rodney are back there and Downcast escapes again!!!! Look at him…he doesn't look so tough now!

DD: Yeah?! Well give him 5 minutes! He'll show you!

VJ: Here we go! The tag champions DOWNCAST taking on Staks and Rodney! Downcast earned his titles.... he beat two men!

DD: Well, he'll have to do it again tonight.. unless his partner decides to show his face...

VJ: Well..lets get right to the match!

VJ: Staks will be starting agaisn Downcast. Not wasting any time.. he rushes him with a clothesline... OH! Downcast ducked under and delived a German Suplex! He dropped him right on his head!

DD: Come on Staks! You lost to Morpheus.. you can't fail me now!

VJ: No he didn't!

DD: Morpheus got robbed! With a gun!

VJ: Downcast still on the attack.. he sends Staks into the ropes and runs off the opposite side. Stacks leapfrogs over.. watch Demp! OH! Demp caught Downcast with his knee in his lower back! Staks with momentum off the ropes..OHHH! He just speard Downcast right through the ropes to the ouside!

DD: Thats they way they do it in the ghetto!

VJ: How would you know.. your from Delaware!

DD: Hey! There's some baaad baaad parts of Delaware!

VJ: I bet.. Staks on the outside. He has Downcast by the steel steps.. he just slammed his head hard off of them! He's going to do it again.. Downcast blocks...he lifts him way up for a suplex... AND DROPS HIM ON THE STEPS!

DD: He got STEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL!!!

VJ: Watch Demp! OH! He just connected with a diving clothesline off of the apron! Now he's hammering away with hard rights to Downcasts face! He sends him in the ring.. and tends to his partner.

DD: Lets go Staks! You have to tag Demp in!

VJ: Staks slides in... and does just what Dave says... he tags in Demp! Demp charges Downcast.. he ran him right over! Now he's trying to choke the life out of him! Look at the look on his face! The ref is trying to break it up.. Demp just shoved the ref out of the way!

DD: Haha! There's no place for authority when Demp's in the ring!

VJ: Yes there is! The ref threatining to disqualify.. and Demp breaks the hold. He pulls Downcast to his feet.. boot to the midsection, he backs up off the ropes and connects with a swinging neckbreaker! 1..2...kickout!

DD: Damn him!

VJ: Demp is really puttin it to Downcast.. who DESPERATLY needs a tag partner. Demp shoves Downcast in the corner.. and is pummeling him with vicious rigtts and lefts! Downcast is down. Demp pulls him back up by his arm. Whats he going to do? He pushes him into the ropes.. but still has his arm.. OHH! What a lariat! Downcast did a 360º in the air after that one!

DD: PIN HIM! PIIIIIN HIIIIIM!!

VJ: Demp with the pin..1..2...NO! Downcast is up! How does he do it?

DD: Because he dosn't know whats good for him.. thats why. He's stupid! He should have just gave up before the match started!

VJ: I can't picture Downcast even DREAMING of doing that..he's too good!

DD: Good? Ha! If you want good then you have to look at Demp.. HE is good!

VJ: Demp tags in Staks. They are both pounding away in the corner on him! Staks sends him off the ropes...double clothesline...missed! Downcast ducked! DOUBLE DROPKICK! What a move by Downcast!!! Demp is out of the ring.. Downcast is TRYING to make a tag but he has no parnter!

DD: HA HA HA!

VJ: It's not funny! Downcast pulls himself up on the ropes.. Staks runs at him.. Downcast just laid out Downcast with a HUGE haymaker! What force! He picks him up.. POWERBOMB! 1...2....Staks got the shoulder up.

DD: HELL YEA!

VJ: Downcast looks upset.... he pulls Staks up to the top rope.... whats he going to do? OHHHHH MYYYYY GOOOOOOD!!!!! TOTAL DISPEAR OFF THE TOP ROPE!!!!! IT'S OVER!!! 1...2...DAMN RODNEY DEMP! DAMN HIM!!!

DD: THATTA BOY DEMP!!

VJ: Downcast had the match won! Demp..FLOWING DDT ON DOWNCAST!!! Demp is pulling Staks over to Downca--

DD: It's Rage!! YAY!

VJ: What's Rage here for? Could he be Downcasts partner!?

DD: He must be! He is going nuts all over Demp!

VJ: Rage is literally beating Demp sensless! The ref pulls Rage off.. and Rage kicks Demp out of the ring! He just laid Demp out!  

DD: Because Rage is great!

VJ: The ref sending Rage back to the corner.. Downcast is up.. he tags in Rage! Rage climbs to the top rope.. dropkick off the top! Staks is down! Rage picks him up... TOTAL ANNIHILATION!!! Demp is in the ring.. but Downcast takes him out! TOTAL DISPEAR ON DEMP!! Rage cover Staks...1.....2....3!!!!!

DD: Downcast and Rage are having a stare down in the middle of the ring! It may explode any minute!

VJ: Why?? Tell me why? Rage just helped Downcast.. they are the tag champs!

DD: Downcast is holding both titles....what's he gonna do?

VJ: THEY SHOOK HANDS!!! Rage and Downcast just shook hands! And Downcast handed Rage a title!!!!

DD: This is great, Vince!!!

VJ: Rage raised Downcasts arm... we finally have two tag champions.... two very DANGEROUS tag champs! Ladies and gentlemen, what a match that was…what the hell is Downcast's association with Rage?!

Downcast: Thanks man! I told ya…together, Total Dispear+Total Annihilation=Total Destruction!

Rage: HAHA! They looked pretty…destructed to me!

Jevona: Is that a word!

Downcast: What do you know?!

Rage: Hey! Look, it was good beating some ass with you, but I gotta plane to catch!

Downcast: Yeah! I got Johnny Homo up next! Later!

Rage: Good luck, dude!

Squirrel: You and Downcast?!

Rage: What about it?!

Squirrel: You want the tag belts so you go outside of the group to get em? I thought we were supposed to be a family?!

Rage: HA! Look Squirrely, as much as I like wasting my time here with you, I gotta go catch a plane! So…

Squirrel: (Grabs Rage by the shoulder) Yo…don't screw with me man! I'm warning you! Don't screw with me! (Turns and walks away)

Rage: Don't worry! I don't swing that way! (Under his breath) Jackass!

VJ: Did you hear that?!

DD: I heard nothing!

VJ: Rage called him a jackass!

DD: he did not! I heard from a very reliable source that Rage has bad hemorrhoids. So you may have thought he said jackass, but what he really said was "Ow! My ass!" That's the truth!

VJ: You are so full of sh*t!

DD: So is Rage from what I hear!

VJ: Stop it! Next is probably going to be one helluva match. Downcast is taking on Johnny Havok in a Steel Cage Ladder match!

DD: Tell me, Vinnie, how exactly would you go about winning one of these matches?

VJ: ....you have to climb the ladder, and grab the belt!

DD: I knew that!

VJ: I'm really sure of it...

DD: I did!

VJ: Well, I wonder what kind of shape Downcast will be in after that tag match...

DD: He's fine! Besides.. Johnny Havok isn't in Downcasts league!

"One Step Closer" by Linki Park hits on the PA system. Blue mist goes down the ramp.. and Downcast walks out making motions around his waist that the T.V. title will be his. He walks in the cage door, and shakes the cage a bit to make sure it's sturdy..Then, "Stupify" by Disturbed blasts on. Johnny Havok steps out and raises his T.V. title. He walks down into the cage. The ref takes the title, and buckles it around the loop that will hold it. It rises up.. and the bell rings... as the ref closes the door and locks it.

Ding Ding Ding!!!!

VJ: The title is raised.. and here we go! Downcast goes right after Havok! They tie-up. Downcast shoves Havok in the corner.. and he just punch him rignt in the nose! That upset the champion.. and Havok fires back with a series of left hands.. OHH! Big right knocks Downcast down.

DD: Get the ladder.. I wanna see some.. um.. ALUUUUUUUUMINUUUUUM!

VJ: You have problems! Havok has Downcast by his hair.. OH! He just sent him face first into the side of the cage!

DD: Did you know that cat urine glows under a black light???

VJ: I don't care. And what the hell does that have to do with anything?

DD: I thought it was interesting!

VJ: ...you would.....

DD: WHAT?

VJ: Nothing....

DD: Thats what I thought foo! Don't make me bust eight caps in yo ass!

VJ: Havok has Downcast by his hair again.. bulldog! He mounts him.. and is hammering away with piston-like shots to the face! Downcast is in trouble! Havok is starting to climb the cage!

DD: Get him, Downcast!

VJ: Downcast is scrambling to his feet... Havok dosn't know he's up.. now he does! Downcast has Havok by the foot.. he just yanked him off.  Havok hit HARD!

DD: Get that big ol' ladder, Downcast!

VJ: Well, Downcast is climbing the cage... he is almost at the top.. but here comes Havok! Havok climbing the side of the cage like.. like a spider! He meets Downcast at the top.. they are exchanging blows... Downcast with an eye gouge! He tries to shove him off.. but Havok won't budge!

DD: Somone is going to fall a LONG way!

VJ: Havok sitting on the top of the cage with his feet dangling to the outside.. and Downcast is standing on the outside, holding on with one arm, fighting with another.. right at the tippy top of this cage...

DD: Havok is kicking him!

VJ: Downcast is going down! He grabs Havok.. and Havok is pulling him back up.. Downcast hooks him...... he is going to try and suplex him off the damn cage!!!! OHHHHH MYYYYYY GOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!!!

(Crowd chants "Holy Sh*t, Holy Sh*t, Holy Sh*t...)

DD: HOLY SH*T IS RIGHT!!!

VJ: DOWNCAST WENT FOR A SUPLEX.. BUT HAVOK SHOVED HIM OFF THE CAGE.. BUT THEN HAVOK LOST HIS  BALANCE AND THEY BOTH CRASHED THROUGH THE POOR OLD CUBAN ANNOUNCE TABLE!!!

DD: Ehh, who cares... Cuba dosn't deserve the damn NFWA! They are all too poor to afford T.V.'s the way it is.. but wait.. their cigars!!!!! Somebody help that table out!!!

VJ: IS THAT ALL YOU CARE ABOUT??

DD: No...

VJ: Downcast and Johnny Havok are both out cold on the floor below....

DD: Are they moving yet?

VJ: I don't think s--yes! Downcast AND Havok somehow are beginning to get up... Downcast pulls himself up on the saftey rail. Slowly... he makes his way over to the ladder... he has one... what is he doing??

DD: This is gonna be good!

VJ: Downcast.. holding the ladder like a battering ram.. OH! HE NEARLY DECAPITATED HAVOK!! He sets the ladder up.. and starts climbing the cage.. what is he trying to do?

DD: I know what he is gonna do...

VJ: Tell me then

DD: He's going to try and get to the the top of the cage.. then pull the ladder in over the top!

VJ: You know sumthin.. you may be right for once!

DD: I am! Look, he's reaching for it.. OHH!!!

VJ: Ha! Havok just smashed Downcast in the face with the top of the ladder.. OHH! AND DOWNCAST FELL IN THE RING OFF THE TOP OF THE CAGE!!!!

DD: That had to hurt!

VJ: Yes it did! Havok doing it the easy way.. opens the cage door and puts the ladder through.. and what is he doing under the ring? HE HAS ANOTHER LADDER! Havok has two ladders in the ring!

DD: Only ONE is needed! Can't he count?

VJ: More excitment this way, Dave! Havok sets one up.. and climbs to the top...

DD: Why the hell dosn't he go for the belt??

VJ: NO CLUE!! But he jumped off!! That HUGE man just jumped off and squashed Downcast like a bug!!! He rolls off..and pulls Downcast up. Havok runs him into the ropes...he gets low, and Downcast runs over him. Havok pops back up.. Downcast with a leapfrog over... Havok misses with the boot to the face...

DD: When will this end?

VJ: NOW!!! With a huge Lou Thesz press by Downcast! Havok hit his head off the ladder, and it fell onto the ropes. Downcast is hammering away! He gets off.... and throws Havok into the ropes.. he lifts him and sends him face first onto the ladder against the ropes.. OH MY GOD! Havok just got catapulted into the other ladder... and it fell on Downcast!!!

DD: This match is amazing!

VJ: I agree!

DD: ...WHAT!?

VJ: I said I agree!

DD: We never are supposed to agree!

VJ: Oh well! Downcast is getting up. He sets the ladder up.. and he is climbing it! He almost has it.. OHHHHH!!! Havok just kicked the ladder over.. and Downcast crashed ribs first onto the top of the cage! OHHHHH! And he fell and nutted himself on the top rope!

DD: I've never seen anything like this! EVER!

VJ: Havok is climbing the ladder now... its' too far over to the left!

DD: He's going to fall over!

VJ: Havok is reaching for it.. WHOA THERE! He almost fell off!

DD: Better watch your step.. caz it's a nasty fall! And there's noone to catch ya when ya fall right on your ass!!!

VJ: He's gonna jump!!

DD: He missed!!

VJ: Havok missed the title.. by an INCH! Maybe less! He hit pretty hard. Meanwhile.. Downcast is getting up... he is settin up the ladder.. whats he doin? He is takin a break in the corner! Meanwhile Havok is climbing up it! Downcast spotted him! He's climbing the other side!

DD: They are at the top.. what now?

VJ: Downcast just poked Havok in the eyes! Havok fires back with a forearem shot. Havok going for a Haymaker... blocked TOTAL DISPEAR OFF THE LADDER!! TOTAL DISPEAR OFF THE LADDER!!! TOTAL DISPEAR.... OFF OF THE DAMN LADDER!!!!!!!!!!

DD: I get the point! Havok is broken in half! UP the ladder Downcast is going!!!

VJ: Almost there... he grabbed it!! The ladder fell over!!!!!

DD: He's hanging in mid-air!!

VJ: He has the title in his hand!! But he dosn't wanna let go! It's a LOOOONG way up!!!

DD: HE FELL!!!

VJ: IT'S OVER!!! IT'S OVER!!!

DD: Finally!

VJ: What a HELL of a match! These two individuals put themselves through a HELL of a beating! But in the end--

DD: DOWNCAST KICKED HAVOKS ASS!!!

VJ: It was a well earned victory.. and Downcast is a double chamion!!!

DD: Hell yea!

VJ: Ladies and gentlemen…up next! 1^st of it's kind! It's a Mile High match for the X-Treme Title! It's the new Co-Holder for the Tag Team Titles, Rage, Vs the former X-Treme Champion: The Extremist! Let's take a look back in time and show you how this match came about!

Referee Orlando Jones, Jr: (Wearing a huge black and white stripped pimp hat, a ref stripped pimp suit and carrying a black cane) Now brothas…before we start this match…I got a lil sumptin I wanna tell you 2! Rage, Extremist…y'all some crazy motherf*ckers! (Coughs/puffs on a cigar) Now…let me explain the rules to this match! You pin the man…you win! You make him quit…you win! You fall out this plane…you die! And I know this is gonna be a violent match…but if either of you…get blood…on my fly ass suit…all hell is gon break loose. (puffs on his cigar) Can you dig it baby?!

Extremist and Rage: (Looking at Orlando like he's crazy)

Orlando: What…y'all deaf of hearing or sumptin?! I said…can you dig?!

Extremist: Uh…yeah!

Rage: I guess so!

Orlando: Good! Now…(raises his cigar into the air) 1…2…3! Let the games begin!

VJ: Where the hell did we find that guy?

DD: Fool…do you know who the hell…that's the mighty Orlando Jones, Jr.! The greatest pimp this side of the Red Light District! He was pimpin' bitches back when the Godfather was just the Stepson! You should get down on your hands and knees and kiss his royal loafers!

VJ: Only a man who's slept with as many prostitutes as you would know about a pimp!

DD: What?! Please! Women pay me for sex!

VJ: Sure. We've got an intense staredown between Rage and Extremist…it's all about the Extreme Title…WHOA!!!!! Extremist with a hard slap to the head of Rage…Rage with a hard right hand…

DD: What in the world?!

VJ: Uh oh! We're experiencing a little turbulance…OH!!! Rage with a low blow to the Extremist! He has him by the hair…he slams him headfirst into the side of the plane!!!!! Again!!! Rage!!! He's got Extremist by the hair…Irish whip…reversal by Extremist…

DD: Don't go into the cockpit!!! OHHHH!!

VJ: Extremist hard into the pilot of the plane…the plane is out of control…

DD: You idiot!!!! What is the matter with you Extremist!!!

VJ: That plane…the pilot is trying to regain control…Extremist caught him with a kick to the midsection…X-TREMELINER!!!!! He makes the cover…Orlando Jones…is not counting!

DD: He ain't ruing that suit for those 2 tricks! Shoot! That suit costs more than that cardboard box of yours!

VJ: Jones…finally down for the count…1…2…kickout by the Extremist!! And when I said Extremist I meant Rage!

DD: Non-nomial nutjob!!!!

VJ: Extremist…he looks pissed at Jones for not counting the pin!

DD: You're messing with the wrong…OH MY GOD! HE'S GOT ORLANDO!

VJ: Extremist has Jones by the collar…Jones has that pimp cane and he's hammering Extremist in the head!! I'm beginning to suspect that he's a member of the Dynasty…OH!!!!! Rage from behind with a German Suplex…Jones with the count…1…2…kickout by Extremist!!!! My gosh! It's gotta be extremely difficult to wrestle in such a small plane! Rage is back up…

DD: (Gasps) He just snatched the pimp cane!

VJ: (Trying not to laugh) Orlando doesn't look happy about that! Rage has that cane…he's choking the Extremist with it!!! He just wrapped that cane around the neck of the Extremist and he's choking him out! Look at that sadistic look on the face of Rage!!! Extremist…look at his face!

DD: HA! His eyes are about to pop out the back of his head!

VJ: Rage…finally breaks the hold! He tosses the cane back to Orlando and there's a hard kick right to the head! And another one! Rage is in solid control of this match…HEY!!!!! Rage just grabbed referee Jones!!

DD: NOOOO!! That's the 1976, 77 and 78 Pimp of the Decade you've got your hands on! Rage…you can't!

VJ: Rage…why would it be Pimp of the Decade for 3 years?! Nevermind! Rage is about to send him back to the 70's! Here comes Total Annihilation…NO! Extremist from behind has Rage by the hair…OH!!!! He slammed Rage's head right through that window!!!! My God…do you realize with the air pressure…do you know how that must feel?!

DD: Not good!

VJ: No crap!!! Extremist has Rage…rail rodder…NO!!! Rage counters…Total Anni…NO!!!

DD: Oh no! Not more turbulance!!!

VJ: What a wild match…Rage back into the wall…SPEAR ON THE EXTREMIST…the speared him into the door and the door opened…MY GOD!!!! MY GOD!!! BOTH MEN FELL OUT OF THE PLANE!!!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!! NO!!!!!! NO!!!!!!!! DAMN IT!!!!! TELL ME THAT DIDN'T JUST HAPPEN! TELL ME THEY DIDN'T JUST FALL…THEY'RE ABOUT 30 THOUSAND FEET IN THE AIR DAVE!!!!

DD: Oh my…that's not good!

VJ: Rage and the Extremist…oh my God…ladies and gentlemen…

DD: Who won?

VJ: Who won?! Who won?! 2 human beings may have just fallen to their deaths!!!!! Son of a bitch!!!

DD: Ok! Ok! Calm down!

VJ: How can you…(sighs) Ladies and gentlemen. I don't know what else to say about this match…Rage and the Extremist…this is…this is tragic! Uh…let's…let's cut to…Lightning and Ice Cube is…it's next! I can't believe…

Firestorm: I can't believe this sh*t!!! Who the hell…who booked that damn match?!

Squirrel: Look…don't worry about it! Don't worry about it!

Firestorm: What the hell do you mean don't worry about it?!

Squirrel: Just remember the plan! Just stick to the…

Firestorm: Officer! Hey…you heard anything about Rage?! What the hell happened?!

Officier #1: Um…we haven't heard anything about Rage…but we did get a report about a Firestorm and Squirrel. Is that you?

Squirrel: Yeah that's us. What about us?

Officer #2: You have the right to remain silent! Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law…(begin cuffing the 2)

Squirrel: Whoa, whoa! What…you can't!

Officer #1: Shut your mouth before we tack on a resistance to arrest charge!

Squirrel: What the hell?! He ain't do nothing!

Officer #2: Think again scumbag! We got a tape at the station of you and your buddies murdering a kid name Terrets. You 2 are going away for a LOOOOOOOOOONG TIME!!!!

Squirrel: No!!!! You can't do this!! That was Rage!!!

Firestorm: This isn't fair! C'mon damn it!!!

Squirrel: I'm gonna…wait I hear from my lawyer! Your asses will belong to me! I'm gonna own that damn police station...the Donut shop too! I don't give a damn!

DD: Oh my God! Somebody stooged off the Dynasty!!!!!

VJ: This match is starting right away! And this crowd isn't liking the way that it's starting! This could be the most important Title match in the history of this sport, and look at Ice Cube!

DD: HAHA! This crowd don't have to like it, but they gotta live with it, cuz at the end of this match Ice Cube will be the brand new Champion!

VJ: Lightning is catching those heavy boots into the midsection by the man many call the greatest World Champion of all time…Lightning caught that last boot!

DD: Kick him Ice Cube! Kick him!

VJ: Lightning has the leg of Ice Cube! Cube is in a bad position here…HE MISSES WITH THE ENZIGURI!!!! Lightning hits off the ropes…Ice Cube back up and he walks right into a flying shoulderblock! Cover…1…2…th…No!

DD: Whew! Don't scare me like that Ice Cube!

VJ: Lightning was 1/2 a count away from ending this quick! He has Ice Cube by the hair and tosses him into the buckle…turn about is fairplay! Big boots right into the midsection of Ice Cube! Lightning pounding him with heavy right hands to the face! Irish whip sends him into the buckle…WHOA!!!! He floors Ice Cube with a hard clothesline! Lightning hits off the ropes…ELBOW RIGHT INTO THE THROAT!! He hooks the leg…1…2…kickout by Ice Cube! The crowd is booing in the background…what the hell is that all about?!

DD: They've finally come around! They've finally figured out that Lightning is a no good…

VJ: Oh no! Look in the aisle! It's that damn Downcast!

DD: HAHA! My new hero!!!

VJ: C'mon! This match is supposed to be fair!

DD: It will be! Remember Panther's ruling earlier on?!

VJ: That damn Panther…I wouldn't be surprised if he was behind Downcast coming out here! Back in the ring…Lightning has Ice Cube by the hair…he's going for a powerbomb…he just saw Downcast! Lightning just saw Downcast in the aisle and look at that look in his eyes…OH! Back body drop by Cube…reversed into a sunset flip…1…Cube rolls through…another roll through into a double leg pin…1…2…Lightning bridges out of it! What leg and back strength by the champion…into a backslide attempt…OH!!!!! LOW BLOW BY ICE CUBE!!!

DD: HAHA! Now that's how ya win 3 World Title! Look it!!!

VJ: Clothesline by Ice Cube sends Lightning flying over the top rope!!!! Lightning is out on the arena floor…and he has to be very careful out there! The title can change hands on a DQ thanks to that idiot Panther!

DD: You are soooooo fired!

VJ: He knows I'm just playing! Ice Cube slides out to the floor…he's got a steel chair!

DD: HAHA! Now this is how we get the job done!

VJ: Ice Cube is headed after the champion…wait! Doug Peterson just snatched that chair out of the challenger's hands!

DD: C'mon! He cannot do that!!!

VJ: Ice Cube looks pissed…hey! He just tripped the ref up along the ropes and he has the chair…OH!!!! Lightning with a hard right causes Ice Cube to drop the chair…Lightning has it! He's gonna blast…

DD: Go ahead! You'll lose the title! Knock his brains out!

VJ: Lightning…I think he's having 2^nd thoughts…ICE BREAKER INTO THE CHAIR!!! The champ is down and his head bounced off of the steel stairs!!!!!

DD: Would that be what you call a…STEEEEEEEL sandwich?!

VJ: Lightning…he just got the daylights knocked out of him! Ice Cube has that chair…Doug Peterson is warning him…Lightning is trying to get back to his feet…OH!!!!!!! Ice Cube with a hard chairshot right to the brain of Lightning! Lightning is hurt…Ice Cube has him by the hair and sends him flying into the ringpost!!!

DD: This is beautiful! Does the title change by Count out too?!

VJ: I have no clue! Knowing how Panther is, Lightning make is so that if Lightning makes the pin he'll lose the damn belt! Panther would do anything to get that belt from around his waist, but why against an opponent like Ice Cube? Isn't he enough?

DD: Call the damn match!

VJ: Ice Cube is trying to get back to his feet…Ice Cube busy taunting the fans…Peterson just will not count these men out! Here comes Lightning now…

DD: WAIT A MINUTE!!!

VJ: WHOA!!!! Lightning with a drop toe hold sent Ice Cube bouncing face first off of the Siberian Announce table! Lightning…he has Cube by the hair…OH! He slams him hard into the announce table!

DD: Uh huH! Look at that ref! DQ!! Illegal use of a foreign announce table! DQ!!!!

VJ: Oh please! At least this Doug Peterson guy has a brain, unlike so many other people in this damn fed!

DD: Oh please! I don’t think there's one brain in your whole country, so don't even talk!

VJ: Shut up! Lightning has Ice Cube again…he slams him hard into the announce table! Lightning tosses him onto the table and follows him up!!!

DD: C'mon!! Lightning…damn it! This is not fair!

VJ: Lightning has Ice Cube on that table…he's going for the Lightning Rod!!!

DD: If he does this without being DQ'd this idiot referee…

VJ: Wait!!!! Ice Cube manages to counter…he slips behind Lightning…LOOK OUT…OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH!!!!!!! GOOOOOOOD!!!! HE BROKE HIS NECK!!!! HE BROKE LIGHTNING'S NECK!!!!!!

DD: HAHAHA!!!!! It's all over!!!!!!

VJ: Ice Cube with a belly to back suplex dropped Lightning headfirst through our table! God as my witness I have never seen a man's neck fold up like that! Lightning could be…he could be paralized!

DD: Why don’t I find out! Hey Lightning, ya big idiot! Can you feel this?! (Kicks him in the ribs a few times)

VJ: Stop it! Ice Cube has him by the hair…he tosses him into the ring…Ice Cube is headed up to the top…FLYING ELBOW!!! RIGHT INTO THE HEART!!! HE HOOKS THE LEG…1…2…kickout!!!!!!!Lightning…how did he do it?!

DD: Cheated!

VJ: For somebody who…nevermind! Jerk! Ice Cube cannot believe he didn't get him! He has Lightning by the hair…Lightning with a small package that's blocked…1…2…kickout! Ice Cube back up…hard elbow! And another! And another! He hits off the ropes…BIG SPLASH…Lightning got the knees up!!!!

DD: Damn it Cube!!!!! Never do that move!!!

VJ: Ice Cube got caught coming in and he's writhing in pain! Now is the time! Now Lightning can make the comeback. Lightning trying to get back to his feet…Ice Cube is doing the same…Lightning…he hits off the ropes…he hits off the otherside…DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE!!!!!!

DD: DAMN!!!!!

VJ: They damn near took one another's heads off! Both men are down…the referee is utilizing the count…1…2…3…4…5…6…7…8…Ice Cube sat up!!!

DD: Yes!!!! C'mon Cube!!! All you gotta do is crawl over and you'll be the World Champion for the 3^rd time!!!!! C'mon!! It's right there!

VJ: Lightning isn't moving! Ice Cube is holding his ribs…

DD: F*ck the ribs! Make the pin!

VJ: Ice Cube…he hooks the leg…1…2…SHOULDER UP!!!!!! HOW?!?!?!?!?!!?

DD: (Crying) Come on damn it!!! What does he have to do to beat this man?!

VJ: Ice Cube…he is frustrated! And…Downcast is headed to the ring! Downcast…he just grabbed a chair…he just slid into the ring with a chair…he's measuring Ice Cube!!!

DD: HAHA! Hit him Downcast!!!

VJ: Oh no! If Downcast hits Ice Cube, Ice Cube will become the new World Champ because of that stip!

DD: HAHAHA! Finally, the Lightning era comes to an end…with a mighty…what the?!

VJ: Ice Cube ducked the chairshot…ICE BREAKER!!!!!!! He just nailed Downcast on the jaw with an Ice Breaker!! Downcast is out!!!

DD: C'mon Ice Cube! What he hell are you doing?!

VJ: Ice Cube…as sick and twisted as he is, he would actually wanna win this thing fair and square, not the cheap way!

DD: Ahh that's bullsh*t! I'll hit him myself!

VJ: Sit down, Dave! Ice Cube is waiting for Lightning to get up…he hits off the ropes…OH!!!!! Lightning with a powerslam just sent Ice Cube's back exploding off of the steel chair! He makes the cover…1…2…thr…no no no!!!!! Ice Cube kicks out!!!!

DD: I gotta hand it to both of them…actually I don't have to hand em sh*t! But this is a helluva match!

VJ: Lightning has Ice Cube by the hair…boot to the stomach…LIGHTNING BOLT!!!! He hit the Lightning bolt! It's over…1…2…FOOT ON THE ROPE!!! FOOT ON THE ROPE!!!!!

DD: IT'S NOT OVER YET!!!!!

VJ: How in the hell are these 2 men still going?! Lightning has Ice Cube by the hair…Irish whip sends him into the buckle…Lightning charges in and runs right into a double boot from Cube!

DD: HAHA! Beautiful!

VJ: Ice Cube nailed Lightning and now he's climbing to the top rope…he may be planning…OH! Lightning just shook the ropes and Ice Cube with a tender landing on the top…

DD: Oh no!!! Get down from there Cube!

VJ: Lightning is climbing up with him! We're about to see the Lightning Rod!!!! If Lightning hits this, it will be all!

DD: Fight it, Cube! Fight it!

VJ: Lightning has him up on his shoulders…this on is…ICE CUBE IS WIGGLING FREE! Ice Cube is managed to wiggle free from the shoulders of the champ…Cube up and over and lands on his feet…he has Lightning hooked…RUNNING POWERBOMB…LIGHTNING COUNTERS WITH A HURACANRANA…NO!!!!! Ice Cube blocks it…SLINGSHOT SENDS THE CHAMP FLYING INTO THE BUCKLE!!! He hit hard off the buckle…Ice Cube…ICE BREAKER!!!!!! He hit the Ice Breaker!!! Right on the jaw!!!!!! Lightning is down…1…2…3!!!!!!!! We have a new World Champion!!!!!

DD: HAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

VJ: This crowd…

DD: It's party time!!!!!

VJ: This crowd is not liking this at all! Ice Cube has just defeated Lightning for the World Title…

DD: Go ahead! Say it! You were talking about the Dynasty! Panther screwing Lightning out of the belt! And how did Cube beat him?! How did he beat him?!

VJ: Fair and square…

DD: Damn right! Long live the new Heavyweight Champion of the World!!!

VJ: Ice Cube has become the World Champion for the 3^rd time…and this crowd is not happy! You've gotta feel for Lightning, the former champion. It came down to 1 move…

VJ: Hey! Wait just a minute!

DD: Did you see that?!

VJ: Tina…she's helping Firestorm and Squirrel escape…she can't do that!!!!

DD: The Dynasty does what they want, when they want!

VJ: The Dynasty has been let loose and it looks like they're headed out here! The Dynasty is headed out here ringside! Ice Cube just saw them on the Panthertron! Ice Cube…he looks like he's ready for them! Ice Cube is waiting…OH!!! Downcast from behind!!! Downcast, the brand new TV Champion from behind just nailed the New World Champion from behind! Downcast has Ice Cube down and he's hammering away with hard right hands to the back of the head! And look in the aisle! Squirrel, Firestorm and Tina! This is an obvious…is Downcast in cahoots…

DD: Does it matter?! All that matters is that somebody is in the ring getting their ass beat!

VJ: Firestorm has a huge smile on his face and his brother, his flesh and blood gets beaten down in the middle of the ring, Squirrel and Tina into the ring now and they're joining in on the attack! Ice Cube is being triple teamed by the Dynasty and Downcast in the ring…

DD: HAHA! This is great! Give him some STEEEL!

VJ: Tina just laid that chair flat on the mat…Downcast and Squirrel have Ice Cube…it looks like we're about to see a double team Total Dispear…

DD: Uh oh! Guys, you've got company!

VJ: The Perfect Thrillas are on there way out to help the new Champion!!!! Here they come! Johnny Havok, Shane Cross and Krazed on their way out to the ring! Here we go…Havok just hit the ring and he and Downcast are picking up right where they left off earlier on!!!!! Shane Cross is hammering away with right hands to the head of Squirrel! Krazed and Tina…

DD: C'mon Krazed! She's your ex-girlfriend!

VJ: Krazed…Tina tries for a right hand but she's caught…SUPERNOVA ON TINA!!!!!!!

DD: You idiot!!!!!! Where the hell are the police now?!

VJ: We've got Big Foot out here now…Lightning just climbed back into the ring with 2 chairs…OH!!!!! Chairshot to the head of Downcast…there's one to the head of Shane Cross! Big Foot is trying to pick up that other chair…Ice Cube with a thumb to the eyes…he snatches the chair and blasts him right in the head!!!

DD: DAMN! Did you hear that shot?!

VJ: Ice Cube and Lightning had chairs…they're tearing into everybody in that ring--ICE CUBE JUST HIT KRAZED!!!!!!

DD: WHAT?!

VJ: Ice Cube just hit Krazed!!! Lightning with a shot to Havok!!! Squirrel catches a shot from Ice Cube…Big Foot is trying to get back to his feet…Ice Cube is measuring him for a shot…OHHHHH MYYYYY GOOOOOOD!!!!!!! OH MY….DAMN IT DID YOU SEE THAT?!

DD: What the hell just happened Vince?!

VJ: Lightning just blasted Big Foot right in the back of the head with that steel chair!!!! Big Foot…he's out…why the hell did Lightning…Ice Cube with a shot right ro the head of Big Foot!!! Lightning and Ice Cube have basically cleared the ring…they've left bodies lying…and Firestorm is in the ring…Firestorm…LIGHTNING AND ICE CUBE WITH A DOUBLE CHAIRSHOT TO THE PREZ!!!!!!!! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?!

DD: I don't get this, Vince!!!

VJ: Lightning and Ice Cube have taken out just about everyone in the ring…Lightning just picked up the World Title belt…I think he's snapped! Lightning has snapped after losing the belt…HE HANDED IT TO ICE CUBE!!!! Lightning…he just handed the belt to Ice Cube and now he's walking to the back…Ice Cube is walking to the back too! The Dynasty, the Thrillas, Downcast, Big Foot! They have all been KO'd! Can somebody please tell me what the hell just happened here?! What the hell is going on?!?!?!?!