(The crowd laughs in the background, but quiets down when Dave reaches for his gun)

(Glass shatters and the crowd comes to its feet as Stone Cold walks into the room with an angry stare on his face. Dave runs from the stage as Austin climbs up, grabs the mic and raises the double fists into the air. His music dies down as the crowd chants "Austin, Austin" in the background)

***Commercial****

(When we return from break, Stone Cold is sitting up on the stage drinking 2 cans of beer. He gets up from his seat, walks to the mic and speaks)

Diva of the Year

***Clears throat*** Coming in 3^rd Place…hell…she ain't in NFWA no more…she ain't even in the GNL no more, and simply put, here hair looks like something Stone Cold threw up last week after a trip to White Castle…call her the Superwoman or whatever, but Tina came in 3^rd place!

Coming in 2^nd…she is the 3 time NFWA Women's Champion…the longest reigning Women's Champion in the history of the NFWA…put your hands together for Diamond!

(Diamond waves and Panther claps)

Hell yeah! And the winner…with so many votes that ol' Stone Cold Steve Austin lost count…WHAT?! I said he lost count! She is the former NFWA Women's Champion of the World…DEADLY CANDY ALYSSA SANDERS!!!!!

(Deadly Candy walks up to the stage, takes the award from Austin)

(Stone Cold shoves her off the stage, and she walks over towards her seat)

The New Sensation Award

In 3^rd Place….he hails from Harlem, New York…(Crowd boos) WHAT?! (Crowd Boos) I said he hails from Harlem, New York…he was the 1^st man in the NFWA to hold 3 titles! He is the reigning Universal Heavyweight Champion of the World! Ladies and gentlemen…give it up for Mr. T…Money!!!!!!

(The crowd boos and tosses trash at T Money)

in 2^nd Place…she just got her pretty little ass off the stage! You know her as Alyssa Sanders, but I know her as Deadly Candy…WHAT?!

DD: Vince, I think that idiot's drunk already!

VJ: That's ok. Panther signed you up to be his designated driver tonight.

DD: WHAT!?

VJ: That's the spirit!

Austin: And the winner…and new Sensation of 2001…THE PLAYER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(The crowd claps in the background as Player gives Sabrina Wilson a kiss, walks upon the stage, grabs the award and sits back down)

Austin: (Gulps down another beer) Good luck in 2002, champ! (Gulps some more) Now let's keep it moving, I got somewhere to go in 20 minutes.

Angel of the Year

Now before I present this award, I wanna talk to each and every last one of you about something very important to me. Now every week in the WWF, people see Stone Cold Steve Austin whipping ass as raising all kinds of hell, but believe me, Angels is something that Stone Cold cares deeply about. It all started at Christmas Time…back when I was a little Stone Cold, and Mamma came home with the Christmas tree. She used to say (feminine voice) "Steve!" And I'd say…"WHAT?!" And she'd say "How would you like to put the pretty angel on top of the Christmas tree", and ol' Stone Cold would be sitting back, drinkin that egg nog, and I'm like "OH HELL YEAH!" So…

VJ: Steve…

Austin: So I stuck in my thumb and pulled out a plumb! And…

VJ: Steve…

Austin: Four score and 25 minutes later, Stone Cold Steve Austin was drinkin beer and…

VJ and DD: STEVE!!!!!!!

Austin: WHAT?!

VJ: It's ANGLE of the year! ANGLE! Not Angel!

Austin: Oh…well damn, ain't I just a silly goose!

**Clears throat*** in 3^rd place, we actually got a tie, which I think is the biggest load of crap I ever seen! It's a tie between the Lightning's contract ending angle...and the Riot Makerz reformation angle!

Coming in 2^nd…it got a whole bunch of votes…hell, the whole damn thing took up half the year, and it's arguable the best damn angle the NFWA ever had…it's the NFWA VS GNL ANGLE!!!! GNL, gimme a HELL YEAH!

GNL: HELL YEAH!

Austin: That's the spirit! Never give up! (Takes a sip of bourbon) And the winner…with a whole bunch of votes from a whole bunch of people, ladies and gentlemen, I give to you THE WHO SHOT J-DOGG ANGLE! JOHNNY GUNN, YA WORTHLESS PIECE OF TRASH, GET YOUR ASS UP HERE AND ACCEPT THIS AWARD!!!!

(J-Dogg slowly walks up to the stage and takes the award from Austin)

J-Dogg: (Clutching his side) Well…if I had known I would get an award for being shot, I woulda had myself shot 10 years ago! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA…

Crowd: (Complete silence)

J-Dogg: HAHAHA…HA! It was…it was a joke…(flags) anyway! I wanna thank all of you who took great pleasure in my pain and suffering…thanks to X-Pac for setting up the shooting…and thanks to all of you for making 2001 the Year of the DOGG baby! WHOOO!

Austin: Alright! We'll be back after this commercial break!

***Commercial for the PPV****

(When we return from break, rock and roll music is playing in the background while Stone Cold sits on stage drinking a bottle of…Windex. Hmmm…)

Worst RP'er award!!!!!!!!!!

(LOUD boos from the crowd)

Austin: WHAT?!

(LOUD boos from the crowd)

Austin: WHAT?!

(BITCH! I SAID LOUD boos from the crowd)

Austin: HAHA! You so crazy! Anyway…(sip of candle wax) when your name is called, please stand and say WHAT?! ***Clears throat*** Path!

Path: WHAT?!

Austin: Reaver!!!

Hell Lord Reaver: (Sighs) What?!

Austin: Murder Souljah…

Souljah: (LEFT A LONG TIME AGO)

Austin: Oabdira!!!!

Crowd: WHO?!

Austin: (long pause…shrugs shoulders) And Staks!!!

Staks: Motherfu…(stands) WHAT?!

Austin: You SUCK!!! THAT'S WHAT! SIT YOUR ASSES DOWN! YOU SUCK!

(Austin fishes off a bottle of turpentine, then tosses it over his head and hits Pittsburgh Pete, who was getting up from the chandelier incident earlier)

DD: I'm begging him to get a new seat!

Austin: Coming in 2^nd…KAMMY!!!!

Kammy: (Stands) WHAT?!

Austin: WHAT?! WHAT DO YA MEAN WHAT?! YA SUCK ASS, WOMAN! SIT YOUR ASS DOWN!

Kammy: (Sits down/pouts)

DD: Vince, that redneck hick cannot talk to sweet, innocent Kammy like that!

Austin: And the winner…and overall most booty, ass licking, butt munching RP'er of the year 2001…PATRIOT!!!!!!!!!

(The crowd gives a mixed reaction as the Patriot walks up to the stage, grabs the award and sits down)

Austin: Yeah! Now that that's outta the way, it's time to crown the BEST RP'ER OF THE YEAR 2001!!!!!!!

(LOUD CHEEERS FROM THE CROWD)

Austin: Alright, alright! Shut up! (crowd quiets down) Now! In 3^rd place we have…(opens the envelope) Jack Sh*t!!!!

DD: (Nudges Vince with his elbow) Hey Vince, who's that?

VJ: Dumbass! He means the envelope was empty!

DD: Oh…why didn't he just say that?!

VJ: He was trying to be funny and clever!

DD: Well he's from Texas! Texans can't be funny and clever!

Austin: SHUT UP!!!!! ***Clears throat***Now…in 2^nd place…we actually had a tie between Scarlet KV and Rage…but since Rage got his ass fired last week he don't get a damn thing, and that's the bottom line! And the winner…and the best RP'er of 2000…WHAT?! I said the best RP'er of 2001…PLAYER!!!!! GET YOUR ASS UP HERE AND ACCEPT THIS AWARD!!!!

VJ: Man!!! That's Player's 2^nd award of the night! Congratulations to him.

DD: When am I gonna get an award, Vince?!

Austin: (Sipping OXY Balance Multi-Action Astringent facial cleanser) And now it's time for the MOST POPULAR WRESTLER AWARD!!!!! (Opens the envelope) Well I'll be a sweet son of a damn!!! It says here that Panther received the most votes in category of MOST POPULAR WRESTLER OF THE YEAR! HA! Let's all give it up for Panther!!!!!!!

(The crowd cheers loudly as Panther gets up from his seat, gives Diamond a kiss on the cheek and walks up to the stage. He takes the award, shakes Stone Cold Steve Austin's hand, and the audience begins to chant "PANTHER, PANTHER, PANTHER". Panther is almost in tears as he approaches the mic)

Panther: (Holds up a hand to quiet down the cheers) Please…please…(sniffles) aww geez. Who…who would've thought this past July…when everybody hated me…when everybody booed me for the stuff I was pulling with the Dynasty…who would've thought that you people would turn around and vote me as the most popular wrestler of 2001! Yeah…I know I'm not a wrestler…and I know that a lot of you people out there may think that I don't deserve this award…but damn it…but on behalf of the NFWA, I wanna thank each and every last one of you who cast your vote for me…each and every last one of you that have shown me love, that have shown the NFWA love since day 1! (Wipes a tear from his eye) I know I've done some bad things in the past, but I mean it from the bottom of my heart when I say that Panther would not be where he is today if not for each and every last one of you people! (Crowd claps and cheers in the background) All the love you've shown me…I feel it, and I have that same love in my heart for all over you. (Tearing up) Phoenix…not just Phoenix, but to all the boys and girls in the back…and every fan watching around the world…I'm accepting this award not for me…but for each and every last one of you! This is your award! Thank you very much!

(The crowd gives Panther a standing ovation as he nearly breaks down into tears. Stone Cold walks up to him, gives him a big hug and raises his arm in the air as the audience begins to chant "PANTHER, PANTHER, PANTHER" for a good minute and a half. Austin then wipes a tear from his eye, takes a sip of vegetable oil and grabs the mic)

Austin: Panther…(voice cracking) Man, that was a very touching and heartfelt speech! (Tearing up) And damn it, I gotta tell ya, man there ain't nothing in the world that I wanna do right now more than present you with the MOST POPULAR WRESTLER OF THE YEAR award…but since you didn't win it, sit your ass back down!!!!

VJ and DD: WHAT?!?!

DD: Austin just said…HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

VJ: Panther…after all that…he didn't even get the award?!

DD: This is great, Vince!

VJ: Look at the look on Panther's face! He is not happy about that!

(Panther walks back down off the stage, takes a seat next to Diamond and looks pissed)

Austin: Now…coming in 3^rd place as the 3^rd most popular wrestler in 2001…it was ICE CUBE!!!!!!! I love his music, by the way! (Snorts and takes a sip of Tang) Coming in 2^nd Place was you, Panther! Now hard feelings…right?

Panther: (Flips off Austin)

Austin: I LOVE THAT GUY, MAN! Anyway…the winner…AND MOST POPLIPULAR WRESTLER OF THE YEAR--WHAT?!--I SAID THE YEAR 2001! HE IS A 3 TIME, 3 TIME, 3 TIME…3 TIME…3 TIME HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRLLLLLLLLLD!!! LIGHTNING!!!!!!!!

DD: WHAT?!

VJ: HE SAID LIGHTNING!

DD: OH!

VJ: Lightning is the Most Popular Wrestler of 2001…and Panther…unfortunately got the most votes…only problem is half of them didn't count…and Lightning won the award!

DD: Aww…poor Panther. Let's get him a puppy!

VJ: No!

DD: C'mon! I heard your mom got knocked up last night! We can give him one outta her litter!

VJ: Will you stop?! Folks, we've gotta take a break! More awards when we return!

****Commercial****

(When we return from break, Stone could is drunk off is ass and licking up a spilled bottle of Clorox Bleach on stage. When he realizes the camera is on, he gets up to the mic, pulls out a bottle of whisky and chugs it down)

Austin: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to the Stone Cold Steve Austin Award show! I'm your host, Stone Cold Steve Austin and we're having a good time here tonight! It is now time for me to present some more awards…so let's get down to some more biness, shall we?

***Clears throat*** Most Hated Wrestler of the Year!

(Crowd boos loudly in the background)

Austin: (Laughing) Shut the f*ck up! (Sips whisky) Ladies and gentlemen, I know we had a lotta unpopular people in the NFWA this year, now let's see who made the cut! ***Clears throat*** in 3^rd place we have…(opens the envelope) a nude pic of Carmen Electra!

DD: WHAT?!?!? LEMME SEE THAT!!!!

VJ: Down boy!!!

Austin: (Tears up the pic and tosses it in the trash) Coming in 2^nd place…well I'll be a duck's left noodle, it's time to call some roll once again! ***Clears throat***

Kid Money!!!!!!! Kid Money!!! Where the fu…sumbitch! Panther…

Panther: (Tosses a bottle at Austin's head, which bounces off the podium, off the edge of the stage and pops Pittsburgh Pete right in the eye)

DD: OH! Pete!!!

Austin: Well…alrighty! Rage…is fired! Good for him! Rick Bruiser…Kammy…and J-Dogg…please stand.

(They all stand)

Austin: (Runs to the edge of the stage and points) WE…DON'T…LIKE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Austin begins breathing heavily and stares into the camera for a moment. He suddenly calms down, turns and walks back to the podium like nothing happened)

Austin: And the winner, and the Most Hated Wrestler of 2001! I give you…SCARLET KV!!!!!!!!

(The crowd boos as KV gets up from his seat, walks up towards the stage and snatches the award from Austin. He then stares evily into the crowd, rolls his eyes into the back of his head, sneers and speaks into the mic)

KV: Um…YOUR MOMMA!!!!!

(KV then takes the award, steps off of the stage, walks back over to the Black Blood table and takes a seat)

VJ: Real mature, KV! Real mature!

DD: He lacks discipline!

VJ: Totally!

Austin: Now…uh…(counting on his fingers) New sensation…Most Popular…most Hated…what the hell…oh yeah! (Pulls out a bottle of Lysol Anti-bacterial dish washing liquid, unscrews the top and takes a sip) FEUD OF THE YEAR!!!!!

I can tell as ugly as half you people are there's bound to be a coupla feuds here in the NFWA, but only the best one's count so I'm gonna run through the top 3 right now!

Coming in 3^rd…It's Rage and T Money!!! They did not like each other at all! Oh no! Not one little bit! Coming in 2^nd…damn, Rage sure won a lotta crap for somebody that lives in the Unemployment line now! Anyway, coming in 2^nd Momma Boy, Scarlet Kaphion Vastle!!!

And the winner…and the most fun Feud to watch in the Year of 2001…(drum roll) NFWA VS THE GNL!!!!!!!!! Now…since no one person can have this award…I'm keeping the sumbitch for myself!

DD: Listen skankhole, if anybody's taking that award home with em, it's gonna be me…

(Austin turns and tosses the award at Dave's head, but he ducks and it hit's Lightning…who calmly gets out of his seat, walks over to Pittsburgh Pete and wacks him over the head with it!)

VJ: Your cousin really needs to start staying home when we have these awards shows!

Austin: Up NEXT! IT'S BEST PPV! I'M GONNA GIVE YA A QUICK RUN DOWN OF HOW IT ALL WENT DOWN!

Coming in 3^rd…it was Total Annihilation, which saw the Double Jeopardy Cage match for the World Title, a Battle for Control between Panther and Sniper with Trish Stratus as the referee, and a whole bunch of crap that Stone Cold is too drunk to remember! (Takes a swig of Scope Mouthwash, swishes it around and spits it out on Pittsburgh Pete's fallen body)

Coming in 2^nd…it was On Deadly Ground, which saw Panther and J-Dogg try to kill each other in a 1^st Blood Match, and that crazy ass Ultimate Destruction Championship match with Every damn title in the fed on the line!

And the winner…and #1 PPV of the Year…with a Hardcore Rumble, a bunch of Tag Matches, and Rage and T Money in a bloodbath…IT WAS OVERKILL!!! GIMME A HELL…YEAH!!!!!

Audience: HELL…YEAH!!!!

DD: Why'd they say it like that?!

VJ: I dunno. Folks, don't go away, still more awards to be presented!

****Commercial…YOU KNOW THEY HAVE SOME X-BOX STUFF UP IN THERE****

Austin, Welcome back! Stone Cold Steve Austin here, getting drunk, and giving out awards! I ever tell you guys about the time…

VJ: (Pointing at his watch)

Austin: WHAT?!

VJ: (Pointing at his watch)

Austin: WHAT?!

DD: HE SAID HURRY UP, JACKASS!

Austin: Well damn it! Do I look like I speak Canadian?! Piece of trash!

DD: (Rolls eyes) Let's never have him host a show again! We woulda been better off with Warrior!

VJ: And he was a no good, lunatic…zero head!

DD: Exactly!

Austin: ARE YA READY FOR THE MATCH OF THE YEAR?! (Crowd cheers) Hell yeah! Now…we had a bunch of great matches in 2000…and the sumbitches got even better in 2001! So that means in 2002…aww screw it! Here's how it goes!

Coming in 3^rd…with 2 whoppers, a double cheese burger and double your money back on the pickles….it was Overkill's Hardcore Rumble!!!!

Coming in 2^nd…with 2 crazy ass legends and a World Title on the line, and a stipulation that said titles can change hands on a DQ, I give you the Ice Cube/Lightning match from Danger Ground!

VJ: Personally, I thought the one from Hell on Earth was better.

DD: Well personally I like it when you get your dentures stuck in the dish washer, but you don't see me bitching!

VJ: I'm warning you!

Austin:And the #1 match of last year…HELL YA KNOW WHAT IT WAS! SO STONE COLD AIN'T EVEN GOTTA SAY IT! GOODNIGHT!

(Stone Cold staggers towards the curtains and walks backstage. After about 30 seconds he returns with 2 40's and an NFWA bandana tied around his head)

VJ and DD: What a worthless alcoholic.

Austin: Like I was gonna say before I got so rudely interconducted…the Ultimate Destruction Match…WHAT?! I said the Ultimate Destruction match is the winner! To the 10 men and women involved, give yourself a pat on the back…WHAT?! I SAID GIVE YOURSELVES A PAT ON THE BACK!!!!!!

(All 10 participants pat themselves on the back)

Austin: Now ya done something! ***Clears throat****

DD: That's the 40^th time he cleared his throat tonight. What the hell does he have in there, Vince?!

VJ: Beer…and a whole bunch of other crap!

Austin: WORST STABLE!!!!!

(Crowd boos)

Austin: Yes, yes! Last year, the same team won both awards! Will it happen this year?!

DD: If it does, somebody's getting shot!

Austin: Now…coming in 3^rd…when your names are called, I want a representative from each group to rise and say DIDDLY!!!!

VJ: (laughing)

DD: It wasn't that funny, Johnson!

Austin: Ok, ok! TnT!!!!!

Kammy: (Stands) WHAT?!?!

Austin: WHAT?!?!

Kammy: WHAT?!?!

Austin: DIDDLY!!!!!!!!

Kammy: WHAT?!?!

Austin: YOUR STABLE SUCKS! SIT YOUR ASS DOWN! Collision…

Freak: (Slowly stands) Diddly.

Austin: WHAT?!

Freak: (Agrily) DIDDLY!!!!!!

Austin: That's better! Now take a bath, cuz your stable STINKS! Any Riot Makerz in the house?!

Ice Cube: DIDDLY!

Austin: I said stand! WHAT?! I SAID STAND!!!

Ice Cube: (Stands) DIDDLY!

Austin: Peaches! Now be seated! ***Clears throat*** Coming in 2^nd…Black Blood…just incase you didn't know…you absolutely suck!

VJ: That's not nice!

DD: Shut up, bitch!

Austin: And finally…the winer…with 12 rebounds, 2 assists and a 2 year average as the WORST STABLE IN THE NFWA…TOO XTREME!!!!!!!!

DD: I feel so sorry for Rick's mother!

(Rick Bruiser walks upon the stage, snatches the award from Austin and takes a seat)

Austin: Thank ya very much! We're running outta time, I'm being told, so I'm gonna move this along more quickily! BEST STABLE OF THE YEAR…presented by the good people at Milton Bradley, makers of my favorite game in the world…(wipes a tear) Candy Land!

DD: I thought that was Parker Brothers.

Austin: It's Milton Bradley cause STONE COLD SAID SO! (Crowd cheers) SHUT UP! Now once again, the overall winner was the Dynasty…

(Panther starts to rise)

Austin: EH EH, jackass! See once again, half your votes did not count, and the Dynasty must once again settle for 2^nd place!

(Panther sits down and pouts)

Austin: Now…coming in 3^rd…we got a bunch of people! When I call your stables name just feel all warm a gushy inside cuz if ya say 1 word I'll beat the hell outta ya! GX….Too Xtreme…and Riot Makerz…all of you guys…like…totally rock! Totally!

And the winner…ain't the Dynasty! But it's the Scarlet KV led stable known as BLACK BLOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!

(The crowd boos loudly as Scarlet KV gets up on the stage, grabs the award and takes a seat)

Austin: Walk faster man! We gotta close this thing out! Now it's time for the MOST IMPRROOOOOOOOOOOOVED WRESTLER OF 2001! Can I get a roll call! (Chuckles) HELL NO! EH EH! No ties here! Coming in 3^rd, is Mr. Alyssa Sanders…the Rocker! (Waves) Hi Rocker!

Rocker: Hi Steve!

Austin: (Blushes) Coming in 2^nd…The NFWA Champion Johnny Havok…and if he wasn't off crying about his broad getting kidnapped I would give him a nice fine howdy-do to you too! But he ain't, so f*ck him!

And the winner…he is the FORMOR QUADRUPLE HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WORLD….but now he's just the quadtriple champ! His name is MR. T……MONEY!!!!!!!!!! YEAH!!

(T Money leaps from his chair, high fives Tristram, runs onto the stage and accepts the award)

VJ: T Money…the most improved wrestler of 2001!

DD: I always believed in ya, T!

T Money: (Grabs the mic) It's about time T Money won some sh*t up in this mothaf*cka!!!! (Crowd boo) YEAH! YEAH! All y'all jealous! Y'all jealous of Black Blood, cuz we the best stable in the World! Y'all jealous of T Money ,cuz I done improved more better than all y'all suckas out there! Now I ain't gonna give no punk ass speech! I'm only thanking 3 people tonight...ME...MYSELF...AND KATHY IRELAND!

VJ and DD: WHAT?!

T Money: Yeah! Like it…love it…and dig it…SUCKAS!

(T Money takes the award and struts off the stage)

Austin: That Kathy Ireland, brother! I tell ya! WHAT?! I said I tell ya! We gotta go to a commercial break! When we return, more people will be getting awards, a bunch of people will smile, and other people will cry! And incase you forgot, MY NAME IS STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN…and I'll be back…after this!

***CHEERIOS!!!!!!!!!!***

(When we come back, Austin is vomiting into a blue bucket. When he's done, he wipes his mouth, walks up to the mic and says…)

Austin: WHAT?!?!?!

DD: Ya know what, Vince! Next person that says WHAT?! Is getting shot! Ya hear me!

VJ: Sure! Whatever!

Austin: Now we're gonna wrap the sumbitch up with…

Rick Bruiser: Wait a minute!

(The crowd boos and toss batteries at Rick as he rushes up to the stage with what looks like a Plaque. Stone Cold has a big smile on his face, and holds his arms open like he's expecting something. Rick just stares at him for a moment and grabs a mic)

"Can I have your attention? Ladies and gentlemen.(Coughs)
Shows not over. Actually I came up here to present and award that nobody voted for but if it was on the ballot this award would have gotten like 1000 votes or more. Its called the "CEO of the Decade" award. This guy who is going to receive this award has done more in two years than any Promoter, President, Chairman or anybody has done in ten years. This guy has done it all for this company. He runs the NFWA. He is the brain behind the braun. If it wasnt for this man, nobody would be standing here right now. To say that this man loves this company, well, its more than that. He has defended the NFWA from crappy leagues, the GNL, the RMWF, the GFW and other federations that were nowhere near the level of the NFWA. He is the mastermind working in the back at all the shows and damn it I think he deserves to be recognized and appreciated. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the CEO of the Decade, Mr. P-Diddy himself...(Austin walks up to him, grabs the plaque and gives him a hug) um…no…I meant…PANTHER!!!"

DD: HEY!!! WHAT A CLASSY GUY, VINCE!

VJ: Rick Bruiser giving Panther the CEO of the decade award…it's well deserved although I'm surprised that Rick Bruiser…he must be up to something, Dave!

DD: Are you kidding me, Vince?! You said yourself Panther deserved it!

VJ: Yeah but…let's just enjoy the moment!

(Panther walks up to the stage, gives Austin an evil stare, shakes Bruiser's hand and hugs it like he's holding a newborn child. Mixture of laughter and cheers from the crowd)

Panther: Um…thank you Rick! I'm glad SOMEBODY appreciates what I'm doing around here! (Under breath) Votes don't count my ass! Shiiiiiit! Anyway…you heard what I said earlier…I'd like to thank all the little people…I'd like to thank Austin's head polisher for damaging the eyesight of everyone who's come up here to get an award tonight…and half the front row…I'd like to thank my sweetie pie Diamond for being there for me through the thick and thin…even though I spent half of last year trying to break your neck and drive you out of the NFWA! And most important of all…I'd like to thank Bob Backlund for being a crazy ass…

Rick: What about me?

Panther: You…well…Rick, I think I'll buy you an extra strength tube of toothpaste so you can get the taste of ass outta your mouth! Phoenix…(bangs his fist into his heart as the audience cheers. Bruiser looks pissed in the background as Panther walks back to his seat with the plaque)

VJ: I don't think that was the kinda response Bruiser was looking for---WAIT A MINUTE! STONE COLD! STONE COLD!!!! STUNNER ON RICK BRUISER!!!!!!!!!

DD: WHAT THE HELL?!?!?!!?!?!?!

Austin: Damn it, ya sumbitch! Stone Cold Steve Austin wants a plaque too! What, ya think I don't got no feelings?! Ya think I don't wanna be loved?! Huh?! Huh?! HUH?!

PP: Don't you mean…WHAT?!?!?!?!!?