*¤* Clips are shown from last week's edition of Monday Night Madness. The segment of HHH saying he thinks he knows who is sending the notes is shown, followed by the note being up on the OCW Tron. The camera zooms in on HHH's concerned face...*¤*
*¤* IN THE BACK...HHH opens the door to the DX locker room where Chyna and Mr. Ass are talking. Mr. Ass jumps to his feet, startled by HHH's entrance. HHH stares a hole in Mr. Ass...fade out.*¤*

*¤* The Monday Night Madness logo flashes across the screen and the intro to the show plays. The logo flashes across the screen once again and then the cameras cut to the fireworks shooting off in the arena. The fans go crazy as Cameron Cade and Chase Cassidy walk down to their announcing positions to the theme music of OCW. They sit down and put their headsets on...*¤*

Cameron Cade: Hello everyone and welcome to Monday Night Madness!!!!
Chase Cassidy: Woohoo! What a night this should be!
Cameron Cade: Looks as if HHH is taking it upon himself to get to the bottom of this so-called "mystery".
Chase Cassidy: Do you think he was about to confront Mr. Ass!?
Cameron Cade: I think that's a bit obvious Chase...sometimes you aren't too quick.
Chase Cassidy: I'm quicker than you are!
Cameron Cade: Don't start with me.
Chase Cassidy: Your mom!
Cameron Cade: Ugh, not this again.
*¤* A voice from backstage comes through the speakers...*¤*
Voice: Excuse me! EXCUUUUUUUUSE MEEE!
*¤* Cyrus walks out on stage with microphone in hand. The fans boo loudly and Cyrus acts stunned by the reaction.*¤*
Cameron Cade: Like he wonders why everyone hates him...come on!
Chase Cassidy: It's not Cyrus' fault that he has to do his job. He's with the office you know!
Cameron Cade: Gee, really? (Sarcasm) Who-dah-thunk-it!?
Chase Cassidy: Huh?
Cyrus: Hey Cade, would you please shut up so I can talk!? Although I can't hear you, I can see your little lips flapping all over the place. Don't make me come down there...I'm with the office you know! THE OFFICE!
Cameron Cade: Oh great...
Cyrus: So now that I have that taken care of...it's time for tonight's show!
*¤* Gets absolutely no response from the audience...*¤*
Cyrus: Oh come on people! Live a little! That's where you're supposed to jump up and scream and yell and act like the morons you are!
*¤* The crowd boos and a few people get up to take a restroom break.*¤*
Cyrus: Sit back down fat boy! This is no time to leave! Show respect for me, I'm with the office! You're probably going to get some more hot dogs huh!? You know processed meat isn't supposed to be good for your colon!
Cameron Cade: Gee thanks Doctor...
*¤* Chase and Cameron have disgusted looks on their faces...*¤*
Cyrus: Okay, down to business. Now for all of you people out there who don't know, I'm with the office. I can have any of you kicked out, so watch your mouths!
*¤* Hearing this, the crowd immediately starts an "asshole, asshole" chant.*¤*
Cyrus: What? What's that? I can't hear you!
*¤* Cyrus plugs his ears and jumps around the ring like a four year old boy who is being told to clean his room.*¤*
Cyrus: So for tonight's show, I thought I'd spice things up a little...and I don't mean the adult station on TV you dirty minded peasants! Tonight, we'll have a fantastic show. Hey you...get me my clipboard! Do it now! I'm with the office!
*¤* A member of the ring crew hands Cyrus his clipboard and pen.*¤*
Cyrus: I know this show already gets great ratings because I'm here, but I think we need some...one on one...female...action!
*¤* The crowd actually cheers for that one!*¤*
Cyrus: Seeing as how that man-beast Chyna holds the (makes quotes with fingers) "Women's" title...
*¤* Boos from the crowd.*¤*
Cyrus: ...lets have a number one contenders match here on Madness. I'll pit the Lovely Lita against that spitfire Tori, the winner of the match...that's right, gets a shot at the Women's title on the pay per view! Tori and Lita both have tremendous, TREMENDOUS assets and those assets will definitely benefit the whole company.
Chase Cassidy: That's for sure!
Cyrus: Now on to my pals Edge and Christian...my fellow Canadian heros...my—
*¤* A voice comes from backstage...*¤*
Voice: Excuse me! EXCUUUUUSE MEEE!
*¤* Edge and Christian come out on stage to a surprising ovation.*¤*
Christian: Pals? PALS!? Haha, would pals screw other pals out of their match on the last Monday Madness? Would they...PALLY?
Cyrus: Oh yeah about that guys...I'm really really sorr–
Edge: EXCUSE ME. EXCUUUUSE MEEE! (Fakes coughing) Oh sorry, I had something in my throat...
Christian: You alright bro?
Edge: Yeah, yeah...I think I'll live...hey CRY-Rus...would (makes quotes with fingers) "pals" screw other "pals" out of their match on Monday...and make the stipulation that if they lose, they will have to face a Brooklyn hoodlum and a tattooed bald man with a horrible looking beard at the PPV!? (obviously talking about Taz and Saturn)
Christian: Yeah, that beard is totally horrendous!!
Edge: Saturn is a full on freakazoid!
Cyrus: Okay guys listen...how about this. To make things up to you, I'll give you guys singles matches tonight. Christian you'll face Taz and Edge you'll face Saturn...
Edge: That's making things up to us?
Christian: How!?
Cyrus: Hear me out...if you guys win your matches tonight, you won't have to face those two at the pay per view.
Edge: And what if we lose?
Christian: Haha! Like we'll lose! We totally reek of awesomeness!
*¤* Edge and Christian slap hands in a high five and walk off stage. Cyrus looks relieved as he scratches a few other notes on his paper. He drops the microphone and leaves suddenly...*¤*
Cameron Cade: That was strange...I thought he'd stay out here and torture us some more.
Chase Cassidy: You should be happy then. He set up three matches for tonight, is that not enough for you!? You are always asking for more. Never satisfied (shakes head at Cameron)
Cameron Cade: I need to get you some sort of a muzzle.
Chase Cassidy: I have never bitten you!!
Cameron Cade: No, I was hoping that it would impair your speech beyond recognition.
Chase Cassidy: Huh?
*¤* The cameras cut to the back...*¤*

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