This is a Kat - Carm Production... what's that? It's what happens when a
27 yr old and a 22 yr old stay online way too long... This is the first...
maybe the last of this series... enjoy!!!
D & D: We want them... but can't own them...... ask first.
Summary: You'll get it soon enough
Kevin and Scott sit beside Kevin's pool as paid hookers crowd around them, massaging their sagging bodies with oil, not seeing them as the hunks they think they are, but as guys way past their prime. Their pastoral bliss is interrupted by the sound of breaking glass.
They jerk upright and see Stone Cold Steve Austin walk to them, his customary beer cooler in his hand. Scott perks up immediately.
"Hey yo Steve man, sit down, relax, grab a beer... share with your buddies?"
"Nuh huh ya dumb son of a bitch! I ain't drag my ass from Texas to share my beer with ya, I came to show you how to drink beer on the job and keep your damn job."
"I know how to drink man... trust me."
"No son, ya don't. What you are is a silly excuse for a drunk bastard and let me tell ya what, I show ya how to drink, and you'll keep your ass on the dime at Extra Crazy Wrestling, ok?"
Scott's about to answer when music fills the large backyard.
TEST, TEST, THIS IS A TEST!!!
And out comes the Norse God, his beauty so breathtaking it had to have been fashioned by the hands of a Goddess. (Authors' notes: YES, WE LIKE HIM, OKAY?) He walks to the side of the pool, shakes hands with Steve and looks down at Kevin, who still hasn't moved.
"Gross," he mutters, under his breath.
"I know you aren't talking about me Junior," Kevin says.
"Who else... I mean, people tell me I look like a younger version of you..."
"You should be so lucky."
"... but if you're my future, I'll become a fucking accountant."
"What the fuck are you saying kid?" Kevin asks, getting up and finding himself look Test in the eye.
"That your potbelly's almost as big as Mideon and I'd rather see him naked."
"Hey yo... score one for the kid."
"You go kid," Stone Cold agrees, "kick his lard ass!"
Just then Scott tries sneaking a beer past Steve and gets stunned for his trouble.
"Oh yeah... I mean... your belly's worse than Raven's when he was trying to get out of ECW."
Steve's laughter fills the air as Kevin looks like he's on the verge of tears. Test turns to the laughing Texan.
"Uh Steve... you could use some ab work too."
Laughter ends immediately and Test hops back before he can get stunned.
"But you're nowhere in the same league as these guys," he says quickly.
"Smart kid," Steve mutters.
"So show me how you do it, kid," Kevin challenges, walking up to Test until they're toe to toe.
"Easy... you got a gym here?"
"So?"
"Let's try it out."
As the two blonds head off, Scott gets up to follow them but Steve stops him.
"Nuh huh, ya dumb drunk... now we teach you how to drink."
"I drink just fine."
"Ya don't... ya drink yourself out of every job you have... now look at me, I'm so good at drinking, Vince lets me do it on the job..."
"But you're his biggest draw."
"That ain't it. I ain't a drunk like you... now the trick is... when you drink beer, let most of it fall out of your mouth and just keep a little in."
"But yo man that's a waste of a beer."
"Scott, ya silly jackass... if you do it well enough, you'll get plenty of beer... but ya can't get drunk. Now look at me do it."
Steve picks up a beer and does his thing. Scott watches carefully. Steve then tosses him one.
"Now you do it..."
Scott picks up the can, opens it and starts chugging it down as fast as he can. Steve shakes his head... this is going to take a while.
In the gym, Test points Kevin to a bench and goes over to the weights.
"Don't want to go too heavy, who know when you last worked out... and can't go too light, gotta make you sweat..."
Finally he makes his choices and walks over to Kevin, weights in hand.
"There you go."
"I thought you wanted to work on my potbelly," Kevin whines.
"Well, what's the point of having a flat stomach if you got hanging man titties?"
"Man titties! I'll have you know that my pecs are..."
"Looking good now compared to your gut... that doesn't say much."
"You're a bitch," Kevin mutters as he picks up the weights and starts doing the work.
"Don't flatter me... Dad."
"I am NOT old enough to be your father."
"Yes you are."
"Fine... if I am old enough to be your dad, shouldn't you respect me?"
"Well, you ain't my dad. Now work it."
Two hours later
Kevin walks out of the gym, swearing like... like... Stone Cold Steve Austin. Test follows behind him, smirking.
"I'm telling you Kevin," Test grins, following him, "you work your pecs and abs like that every day and Vince might take you back."
"Fuck you and fuck him... If I can't move tomorrow, I'll send Scott after you."
"I don't think so."
Test points to Steve who's now taking advantage of the hooker's massage. Scott is lying on the ground, crushed beer cans all around his prone body.
"What the hell happened here?"
"The dumb bastard kept on drinking the beer so every time he did, I gave him a stunner."
Test started to laugh while Kevin went to Scott and nudged him with his foot.
"Is he okay?"
"He'll be cool."
As an exhausted Kevin sinks down next to Scott, Andrew sets himself down for his own massage.
"You do realize that if Carm and Kat hear about this, our balls are toast, right?"
"Why do you think they would hear about this?" Steve asks.
"Because they always find out."