- November 21st, 1997, Molson Center Montreal -
Jess came to on a pile of mats. Her head felt so heavy and her mouth so pasty. She tried to sit up but couldn't. She could barely open her eyes. And when she did, light blinded her, making her eyes hurt. She brought a heavy hand to her eyes, trying to protect them from the glare and groaned out loud from the pain.
"Good, you're finally coming around," said a familiar voice.
"Chris?"
"Yes. Chris. Jess, what the hell are you doing here? It was okay for you to watch WWF and WCW at home but bringing this out in public, letting everyone see your love of this ridiculous pseudo-sport. It's humiliating."
"I can't move... Chris... I can't move!"
"I know you can't move. I drugged your damn beer. It's the only way you'd listen to any sense."
"I CAN'T MOVE!!!"
"Shut up! What was that idiot Test doing talking to you anyway?"
"Test," she whispered, as it dawned upon her that she was going to miss their date.
"Was he trying to get a piece of ass from you?"
"... ooooh," she moaned as her stomach turned.
"Answer me," he screamed, slapping her hard across the face.
The shock of the slap turned Jess's stomach and she threw up all over Chris's shoes. He slapped her even harder and took a mop and started sweeping up the floor. Jess lay there, her mouth covered with her own vomit as Chris cleaned up the mess. He had always been so obsessive about cleanliness. Even after sex, he would insist on having them shower. It had been annoying then. Now, it was ridiculous.
"Look at this," said Chris as he wiped vomit from her mouth, "you're all dirty and messy. How can you expect for me to make love to you now?"
"Make love?"
"Of course Jess. We grew apart because we needed to grow as individuals. Now that we have, we can be together again."
"No!"
"Of course we can. I love you."
"No! Chris, I won't allow you to do this," she said, regaining her strength and trying to move away from Chris.
"Allow me? Allow me!? We belong together... you belong to me! You have no right to refuse me!" Chris hit her again and Jess lost consciousness again. When she came to, her arms were tied behind her back and Chris was settling between her naked thighs.
"I'm going to make you mine again," he said, pushing his fingers inside her, "I'll make you want me."
Jess wanted to scream with everything that was in her but all she could manage was a muffled moan. Chris's fingers pushed in and out of her ruthlessly and she somehow made herself unresponsive to him.
"Respond to me, damn you! Respond to me!"
As he swore at her, his fingers tortured her insides and his free hand dug into her lycra covered breasts. He shoved the tube top up to her neck and pulled on her sensitive nipples, trying to make them harden in arousal. He pinched them, bit them and save for soft curses, Jess would not respond to him.
That's when he started to use his mouth. He tried for a sloppy kiss that made her empty stomach heave in protest, acid filling her mouth. But Chris would not be deterred. He plunged his tongue inside her mouth, pulled at her lips, covering her face with his disgusting saliva until she wanted to hurl. She tossed her head from side to side but a fist on her jaw stopped her.
His mouth moved south, teeth digging into her skin, her collar bone and her breasts. He bit into the tender flesh as one would a peach, savagely, waiting for and wanting its sweet nectar. But his bites brought for nothing but blood, a few droplets but blood nonetheless. At the pain, Jess bucked her hips, trying to dislodge him, but did not succeed.
His mouth closed on a nipple. First he used his lips, then his tongue and finally his teeth until Jess thought the small piece of flesh would be wrenched from her body.
"Stop, please," she begged. "I'll do whatever you want... please don't hurt me anymore. Please!"
"You're mine and I decide what you do. Now feel this!"
With a push of his hips, his turgid flesh was deep inside her. He pounded into her the same way a jackhammer destroyed a sidewalk, the unlubricated condom making her delicate flesh burn. His nails dug into the soft flesh of her breasts. His face hovered above hers, red and flushed, the tendons of his neck standing out.
In that moment, Jess would have given anything for a weapon, preferably a knife to cut his throat wide open. She would have welcome the bloody shower from his body. She would have embraced anything that would bring
her humiliation to an end.
And then, betrayal of betrayals, her body began to respond to him. Jess felt her insides moisten at the friction. She suddenly hated the weakness of her woman's body, she hated the fact that her body somehow welcomed the intrusion that made her less of a woman.
Chris didn't seem to realise the change as he pounded deeper and deeper into her. Jess closed off her mind to her body. She focused on the most pleasant thought she could think of, and that thought was of Test, of the way he'd brushed his cheek beside hers to make the date. She lost herself to Test in order to save herself from the horror that was Chris.
The rapist kept on pounding into her until he felt himself on the edge of bliss. He quickly pulled out of the somewhat wet hole and came in a jerky motion, anointing her body with his evil seed.
Once he was done with her, Chris looked at the woman he loved, at the woman who'd forced him to abuse her. Why had she done that, he wondered. Why couldn't she grasp their joined destinies? He sighed tiredly and got up and eased himself back into his boxers. He cleaned everything up, including her and picked up the Stone Cold Steve Austin jersey he'd taken off her body. He would bring this home with him. It would make for nice memories. He also took out a camera and took pictures of his unconscious victim. He would teach her how to please him that way again.
He pulled up Jess's panties and pants and readjusted her tube top. Luckily, their little amorous escapade hadn't messed up her hair. He would have to carry her out but in this cold November weather, with only a tube top, she was sure to catch pneumonia. Chris grabbed his new windbreaker and eased her arm into it. He'd have to remind her to give it to him once he dropped her off at home.
Using a discreet entrance he knew of because of his weekend job at the Molson Center as a sanitary engineer, Chris led Jess out to the employee parking lot. Her feet dragged a lot. But all of a sudden, she stepped on his insole and slammed her elbow into his throat and started to run.
Chris watched as Jess ran blindly into a street and was hit by a car.
Damn that bitch, he swore. She would tell. She would tell.
- Six years later -
Jess stood in front of that concession stand as all the memories came to her. It was like an unstoppable flood. She remembered her life, she finally remembered her childhood, her parents, everything. Jess staggered at the shock, a headache overwhelming her with pain. But through it all, she remembered her son and she remembered how desperately he needed her.
As Jess walked, the pain of the memories of her rape eased. She would deal with it later, she decided. For now, she had to save her son.
"Where did she disappear off to?" asked Dwayne, looking around.
"I don't know. Damn it!"
"So what do we do?" asked Paul. "Do we call the cops or do we..."
"Dwayne," said Steve, "you go back to the hotel and get Andrew. Real quiet like, okay? Let's see if we need to get the cops involved in this? It might just be Jess letting off steam."
"Do you really think so?" asked Paul to Steve as the door swung shut behind Dwayne.
"No. But regardless, Andrew's got to know about this."
"Great, so what do we do? Do we split up or what?"
"No. If Jess is crazed, you want to take her on by yourself or with backup?"
"Good point."
Jess was rounding the corner to the small equipment room off the second gym in the basement of the Molson Center. That's where Chris had said he'd be. With Luke. Jess waited outside the door, listening for a sound, a clue, something that would tell her for sure that her son was in there. And then, as if he'd felt her, Luke cried out:
"I wanna go potty!"
Jess burst into the room, slamming the door open with her foot. Chris stood there, his back to her, his eyes on various monitors stacked on a wall. Luke sat on a chair next to his captor, his hands tied behind his back and his waist tied to the chair.
"Hi honey," said Jess as softly as she could.
"Mommy! I wanna go potty!"
"That's what I hear. We'll take care of that as soon as possible, okay?"
"'Kay! Mommy, I'm hungry!"
"We'll take care of that too. Just give me time to talk with Chris, okay?"
"'Kay."
"Do you remember this room Jess," he asked.
Jess looked around the room, slowly realising that this was where she'd been violated, where she'd been raped. A sob rose in her throat and she hissed out a curse.
"This is where we last made love."
"You don't know the meaning of the word," she answered heatedly.
"Mommy, where's Daddy?" asked Luke.
"At the hotel, you'll see him soon."
Chris chose that moment to turn around, his arms folded around his chest, tapping a remote control on his pursed lips.
"I'm disappointed," he said calmly. "I thought I told you to come alone."
"I did."
"Not quite," he said, pointing to a screen.
Jess's blood went cold as she recognized Steve and Paul as they stalked down some hall, opening doors.
"I didn't tell them to come Chris, you have to know that."
"I wonder."
"I'm here for Luke. I would not jeopardize his life."
"No, you wouldn't, would you? You're a good mother to your son."
"I try to be."
"Until now. This changes my plans. He'll have to come with us."
"No! You promised. Please. Let Andrew have his son."
"NO!!! If we'd had the time to disappear and drop your son off somewhere, everything would have been okay but now, with these two idiots searching the building... no, Luke comes with us."
"Mommy, I want a happy meal."
Jess came forward and to a stop in front of Luke's chair.
"Are you okay honey," she asked, focusing on her son, feeling his little limbs.
"Uh huh, I'm 'kay. Where's Daddy?"
"I told you, he's at the hotel. Luke, honey, listen, I need you to be quiet while I talk with Chris, okay?"
"But Mommy..."
"Quiet, please," she said, her eyes filling up with tears.
"But I have to potty."
"It's going to have to wait."
With a soft kiss to her son's cheek, Jess got up and came face to face with Chris, her eyes suddenly icy cold to him. Her hatred of him made no doubt. But for some reason, he didn't seem willing to see it.
"It'll be troublesome but I'll make him fit to our lives."
"You will not!"
"I will. Believe me. I will. I might even start to love the little bastard," said Chris, running his hand through Luke's curly brown hair.
"Don't you touch him," said Jess, shoving Chris away from Luke.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, what's this? Are you rebelling against me? I'm giving your son a chance at a good life here."
"He has a good life already. We both do."
"Please. He's on the road, four or five days a week. No stability, surrounded by violence every single day. He has no real friends, he's not going to school. This is not a life."
"He does have a life, a good life. He gets to spend time with his father He spends time with me. He has friends in and out of the WWF. He's right on track in his development. There is no reason for me to change his lifestyle."
"You're thinking you have some sort of a choice here. You don't."
"I do. Now, I'm going to set my son free. And then you and I are going to have a serious conversation."
Jess turned her back on Chris, half-expecting him to hit her in the back of the head. But she kept on moving. Jess kneeled behind Luke's chair and started undoing his ties.
"All right Luke, honey, I need you to listen to me and pay very close attention. Okay?"
"Uh huh," said Luke, nodding, as if he'd suddenly grasped the important nature of this situation.
"I'm going to untie you, okay?"
"'Kay."
"Then I'm going to let you out of this room. I want you to run as fast as you can, yelling for uncle Paul and uncle Steve. Okay?"
"Yeah."
"I'm counting on you here Luke. Do exactly what I told you."
"All right."
"And what was that?"
"You want me to run out and find uncle Steve and uncle Paul."
"Good."
Once she'd undone his bonds, Jess came around and eased Luke on his feet. She quickly massaged the firm little legs and arms and walked with him to the door. She gently pushed him outside and was about to close the door when he looked up at her, his eyes full of tears.
"Mommy," he asked, "are you going to be okay?"
"Oh yes, honey, I will be. Just give me a big hug before you go, okay?"
Jess crouched in front of Luke and wrapped him in his arms, giving him the kind of hug that usually had him scurrying to his father. But this time, he didn't shy away from it. In fact, he gave it back to her in kind. Luke held on to his mother, his tears wetting her bare shoulder.
"Go on now," she urged him, gently pushing him away.
"Bye Mommy."
Jess stood at the door and watched her little boy run away as fast as his little legs could carry him. Once he was out of sight, she stepped away from the door, but not before closing and locking it.
"Now, it's just the two of us," she said, turning around to face Chris.
"I allow you too much freedom," he said softly.
"I had to free my son."
"But I was weak. I should have kept him. I thought I would show him how his mother loves me more than she ever did care about his father."
"Sorry."
"Come on. We have to go."
Chris showed her a second door, which had been hidden behind the wall of monitors. He started heading toward it but Jess did not move.
"Come along now."
"I am not going anywhere with you."
"I don't have time for your games. Our destiny awaits."
"Destiny. What a fascinating word you seem to enjoy abusing."
"This is not the time."
"It's the perfect time. Perhaps," she said, pacing across the room, "it was my destiny to be raped by you, perhaps it was my parents' destiny to die at your hands, but for you to believe that it's my destiny to walk off into the sunset with you, you have to be crazy."
"Come with me!"
"No. Now, back to the whole destiny conversation. Where was I? Ah yes, destiny. Yours and mine. Well, I've already decided mine won't lay anywhere near yours. So let's talk about yours. I foresee you getting a sound beating, courtesy of me. And I foresee you getting arrested, going to jail and becoming some fat guy's bitch."
Chris actually opened his mouth to order Jess out of the equipment room but his mouth was met by the heel of her shoe. She then proceeded to hit his jaw with a series of well placed jabs which she'd perfected with the Road Dogg's help. Chris slumped to the ground, dazed.
"You raped me," said Jess, kicking him in the groin. "You violated me. You took me without consent. You drugged me. You took away my choice to say no. You tried to make me your whore." Each accusation was punctuated with another kick to the groin until Chris wailed like a baby, curled on the floor in the fetal position. As he laid there, weeping, Jess turned her attention to the wall of monitors. She couldn't find Luke on any of them but she did see Paul and Steve. As well as Dwayne and Andrew as they made their entrance into the building.
Luke was tired of running. He wanted to go back to Mommy and the mean man. He didn't want to find uncle Steve or uncle Paul. He wanted to get in bed between Mommy and Daddy and sleep there. He leaned against a wall, catching his breath, tears streaming down his face. He wanted to go home.
Paul and Steve didn't see the little boy sitting on the cold floor, his knees brought up against his chin, as he cried softly. Yet, for some reason, Paul stopped and retraced his steps.
"Luke!"
"Uncle Paul!"
"Steve, I've got Luke," yelled out Paul as he picked up the little body and held him tight.
"Oh thank God," said Steve as he turned around and saw them.
"Uncle Paul, Mommy sent me to find you."
"Where is she?" asked Steve, ruffling the little boy's hair, "I have to find her."
"I don't know," he cried. "She's with her friend. Chris. I don't like him."
"All right, what do we do now?" asked Paul over Luke's head.
"You go back to the door we came through. Wait for Dwayne and Andrew there. I'm going to find Jess."
Jess watched the monitors as Steve stalked down the hallways. She realised she had very little time to deal with Chris as she intended.
She turned around and looked at his body, curled up in a ball on the floor. He disgusted her so much this pathetic excuse of a man she'd
actually wanted to marry. Her rapist. Her parents' murderer. Her son's kidnapper. And her ex-fiancé. He'd been so many things to many people in her family. And most of it had been bad.
"Come on," she said, bending over him, grabbing the collar of his shirt, "wake up you sick maniac. I'm not done with you yet."
His lashes fluttered and Jess slapped him, making sure he was conscious.
"Look at me," she barked, "because I'm about to make you wish I'd never remembered what you did to me, including our initial meeting."
Jess dragged him to a corner and pulled him up to his feet. Chris staggered, his eyes evidently unable to focus on her. And she started pounding, first with her knee to his midsection. She hit him so much and so hard that he wanted to fall to his knees begging for mercy.
"Not quite, you fuckin' ass! After all of this, you think this little beatdown is all you get? Not quite."
Anchoring her fingers into the front of his shirt, she swung him from left to right, rejoicing as she heard flesh and bone mush up against the concrete walls.
"Did that hurt, baby boy? Did that hurt," she asked.
And evidently, it did hurt, as Chris let out a stream of piss run down his legs and between Jess's sneakers.
"Do ya have to go potty," she asked, "hell, even Luke knows to ask for the bathroom when he has to pee. Why the fuck can't you?"
Jess pulled him out of the corner and kicked him straight in the ass. The kick made him stumble into the chair where he landed, face first. He didn't move.
Steve knew Jess was somewhere in here along with Chris. But what scared him the most was what she would do to him. There was nothing worse than a woman scorned, except maybe a mother on a rampage. And Jess knew how to kick ass in the most effective way. All he knew was that he had to get to her before someone else did.
Steve was rounding a corner and he came face to chest with Andrew.
"Fuck man, can't you watch where you're going?"
"Where's Jess?"
"In my back pocket. Fuck it man, I haven't found her yet."
"We'll find her," said Lexi from behind Andrew.
She was standing behind Jess with Rock, Paul, Joanie, Adam and Christian.
"Let's split up in teams of two," said Andrew, "and guys, knock down doors if you have to. I'll pay for it."
"And when we find her?"
"Everybody's got a cell phone right?"
"What about Jess?" asked Adam. "Doesn't she have hers too?"
"I didn't think about that," said Andrew, quickly getting his and hitting Jess's number on speed dial.
Jess was standing away from Chris's unmoving body when her cell phone rang. She palmed it and looked at it, recognizing her husband's number.
"Andrew?"
"Where the hell are you?"
"He's not moving," she said, her eyes on the body.
"Where the fuck are you?"
"If I killed him, do I go to jail?"
"Jess, just tell me where you are?!"
"I think he's dead!"
"No I ain't bitch!"
Jess's phone clattered to the floor, the battery breaking off it before Jess could say another word, but not before Andrew heard his wife's strangled cry.
Jess lay on her back, dazed by Chris's shoulder to her stomach. He sat astride her, his crotch on her chest, his knees pinning her arms. He looked down at her, blood from his nose wetting her face.
"You think you had me you two-bit whore! 'He's dead, Andrew, I think I killed him,'" he mimicked her.
Jess bucked her hips, trying to dislodge him, all the while, gathering her saliva. Chris loomed over her, laughing at her attempts at freedom when she launched the king of all loogies at his face. He relaxed his position, allowing her to sit up abruptly and sending him down on his back, his head hitting the floor.
But he wasn't out. Neither was Jess, who rushed him into the door, her shoulder connecting with his midsection. She hit him and hit him until she could hardly feel her shoulder anymore. So then, she switched shoulders.
The pack of wrestlers ran down the halls, listening for sounds of a fight. As they ran, Lexi saw a light down a corridor.
"Guys, wait up. Steve, did you check this out?"
"No."
They made their way across a smaller gym, with much less equipment than the one they used on the upper floor. That's when they heard the pounding. Steady pounding.
"JESS!"
"Here," she called, going for the door.
She had it just about unlocked when Chris caught the side of her mouth with a fist. She stumbled sideways and somehow managed to stop his rush toward her with a sidekick. She assaulted him with a series of sidekicks until he fell to the ground.
But out of despair, because of the control he saw escaping him, Chris rushed her one last time, using a spear that would have made Adam proud.
She fell flat on her back but got him with a doubled up fist to his collarbone.
Just as she was about to hit him again, the door crashed under the combined efforts of Andrew and Steve's shoulders. Lexi rushed to Jess while Andrew wrapped his hand around Chris's throat. He hauled him to his feet and higher until Chris's feet no longer touched the ground.
"Why should you live, asshole?"
"Andrew," cried Jess, "no!"
"Why the fuck not?!"
"Because if he dies, he doesn't pay for what he did."
Andrew tossed Chris's body to the ground and went to his wife.
"For now," he said, "I'm not going to get mad at you for going at this alone. But I will later."
"Okay."
In the early hours of the morning, when the police reports were filed, Jess and Andrew finally made it to their suite. Luke was sitting in front of the TV, curled up in Patty's lap, sucking on his thumb, something he hadn't done in over six months now. When he saw his parents, he leapt for them, his little arms hugging them tightly.
Patty left the family to their reunion, feeling a bit out of place. They all made their way to the huge bed and lay down on it, Luke curled up into his mother who was spooned against her husband's body, his big arms wrapped around both of them. As a family, they loved to sleep that way.
It was comfortable, it was warm and it was fun. Usually. They'd tickle each other and laugh until sleep stole them away.
But tonight Luke held onto his parents like his life depended on it and Jess's body was stiff in Andrew's arms. Something had changed in this family and it would take them a long time to heal.
- Six months later -
Chris had been tried and convicted of Jess's rape, of her parents's death and of Luke's kidnapping. He'd been sentenced to a total of one hundred years in jail with a possibility of parole after 25 years. Jess had made a note in all of her agendas to attend that parole meeting.
That bastard was going to serve out his full sentence. She would see to it.
Luke was slowly starting to trust people again. He'd gone through a rough time, during which he'd spoken to no one except his parents and his nanny. Now, he was getting on friendlier terms with Lexi, Patty, Joanie, Steph and Linda but he remained weary of the men he'd called uncles Paul, Steve and Rock. And he was still having trouble spending anything more than a few minutes away from any of his parents.
Which leaked into bedtime. Since the kidnapping ordeal, Luke insisted on sleeping with his parents. When Andrew and Jess tried getting him back to his own bed and his own room, he would cry until he made himself sick with it. The situation, for which Jess blamed herself, had somewhat dampened the couple's amorous urges.
And whereas Andrew yearned for a closer companionship with his wife, Jess was grateful for the lack of intimacy in their relationship. For the time being, she didn't judge herself able or willing to deal with the sexual intricacies that made up her relationship with Andrew.
Until that one night when Luke fell asleep watching his favorite movie, 'The Prince of Egypt.' Jess carried her son to bed and stayed with him for almost an hour, until Andrew came for her.
"Is he okay," he asked softly.
"He's fine. For now. It's just so good to see him sleeping peacefully. It's been a while."
"I know."
Andrew joined his wife at the foot of the bed and carefully laid his hands on her shoulders. And, for the nth time in six months, he felt her tense at his touch. He didn't know why she did it. But what was worse, she didn't seem to want to talk about why she shied away from any kind of touch.
"Let's go to bed," he suggested gently.
"Okay."
And, as per her new routine, Jess picked up her long flannel nightgown and went to change in the bathroom. Andrew stripped down to nothing and went to stand by the window in their 40th floor suite. As he stared out into the dark Chicago night, he heard her come out of the bathroom and felt her disapproval at his nakedness. But he was going to have none of it tonight. He would get to the bottom of this.
"Do you think Luke will make it through the night," he asked, turning to his wife.
"Maybe. I hope so."
"So do I. I missed having you all to myself at night."
"But I enjoyed spending that time with Luke. It certainly made him feel better."
"Of course it did. But now, it's my turn to feel better."
Andrew rushed his wife and picked her up in his arms, carrying her to bed. Jess stiffened in his arms once more, bracing her hands against his bare shoulders.
"Andrew, no," she protested.
"Oh honey, I just want to sleep with my wife tonight. For once, I have you all to myself."
"I'm not ready," she whispered.
"For my arms?"
Jess knelt on the bed, pulling at the long locks of hair fanning her shoulders.
"Compared to what you and I have," she whispered, "my relationship with Chris was hell. Literally. He treated me so badly. He bullied me into so many things. Did so many things against my will. And I let him."
"Why?"
"Because... because everyone was being loved. My parents had each other, Patty had a never-ending string of boyfriends and lovers, and all of my friends had a steady boyfriend. By the time Chris started paying attention to me, I was so desperate for affection, I took whatever he gave, no matter how bad it was for me."
"Did you know that as it went on?"
"I think I was aware of the fact that it wasn't right for me, but I didn't want to accept that. What woman would want to accept it? What person is willing to walk away from the one person who might love you?"
"Eventually, you did. Walk away from him."
"But I always thought it was wrong for me to do so. I knew so many women who took back cheating husbands, cheating lovers. I wondered if I hadn't acted too rashly. He could have changed. Or so I thought. I felt so bad about my decision that I hid out in my room for so long, almost six months, trying to convince myself that I had done the right thing. It was hell. I wanted to die."
"How did you get out of it?"
"I wrote. Every day. And I sent my journal out to these friends, virtual friends actually. I met these women on the Net. On some discussion lists. They responded to my pain, my shame, to my fears. And they helped me build myself back up again."
"Good for them... and for you."
"Yes, it was... they saved me... but when I forgot, I found a form of bliss... it's like... I knew, you know... I knew that somewhere deep inside of me, there were things I was ashamed of. Things I wasn't too proud of. Mostly my relationship with Chris. I was ashamed of that... and it was like somewhere deep inside my mind, even though I'd forgotten every thing, I remembered that there was something in my past, something I should remember. It's like I willed myself to forget my whole life, in order not to remember that particular time, that shame..."
"And now?"
"Now, I remember the rape... I remember the horror... I remember how I hated the fact that somewhere deep inside, my body reacted to him... I hated the fact that I was weak... and I hate the fact that he... oh God, he made me dirty Andrew... he made me so dirty..." Jess sobbed, her tears racking her whole body, making her shake nervously. Andrew stood in front of her, somewhat afraid of touching her. He wanted to tell her that he didn't care, that it didn't matter, that her heart was pure, that her soul was pure. He wanted to comfort her "I love you," he said softly, "I love you with all my heart, with everything that I am, with everything that I do. I love everything that you are, everything that you do, everything that you feel. I'm sorry for what he did to you. I'm sorry I couldn't stop it from happening. I'm sorry for all the pain... And you have to know that I love you regardless of what he did to you... you are a beautiful woman, a survivor... you're the one who gave the most precious things in my life... the power to love and the opportunity to be loved."
With tears running down her cheeks, and water running down her nose, Jess lunged into Andrew's arms, wrapping her arms around him, holding him tight. He squeezed her back fiercely, enjoying the feel of his wife's body next to him. He carried her to the bed and lay down beside her, folding her body into his.
"I'm not ready to make love to you yet," she whispered, rubbing her fingers on the nape of his neck.
"Okay."
"I'll... I'll be ready... soon."
"Don't rush anything. Making love is good... but your sanity is better. Take all the time you need."
Jess nestled in her husband's arms and started to feel better, loved, worthy of that love. It was the first step to a long, perilous road.
Andrew was coming home in two hours. Jess was as excited as she could be. Her baby was coming home after being on the road by himself for the past month and a half and she had a surprise for him. Things had changed so much after that night when she'd allowed Andrew to hold her. That closeness, the intimacy he hadn't tried to force on her, all of it had urged her to get better.
Both her and Luke had been going to therapy for the past three months. Her little boy was now able to sleep through the night and he'd re-established his friendships with all of his uncles. He no longer shied away from them. As a matter of fact, he now ran to them as enthusiastically as he had in the past. Which was why Luke was now spending the night at the Marriott with his uncle Rock and his aunt Lexi. As for Patty, she'd gladly given up the house for the weekend. She needed some private time with her new fiancé, Adam.
Jess put the finishing touches in the kitchen, laying out the strawberries, the peaches, the champagne and the chocolate syrup on the large dining room table. She then ran up the stairs to her room. It took her over an hour to lay out all the candle holders and the candles in her private bedroom suite. She then got everything ready in the bathroom, set the massage oil by the bed and changed into a pair of Andrew's blue silk boxers and nothing else.
When Andrew got home, he was tired... and he wanted to see his wife and his little boy. He set the bags down on the floor by the door and called out for them.
"Luke, Jess, Daddy's home!"
"I'm upstairs Andrew," said Jess.
Andrew climbed up the stairs two by two until he reached the top floor. He saw the flickering light coming from the bedroom and approached slowly.
"Jess," he asked, opening the door.
"Yes Andrew?"
She appeared in the doorway leading to the bedroom and Andrew thought he'd died and gone to heaven. Her hair was gathered in a loose knot on top of her head and her arms were crossed under the naked breasts. His wife had never looked better, more beautiful.
"Welcome home," she said softly.
"Jess... you look... wow!"
Andrew tore his sight from Jess and saw all the candles around the room. The stage was set for a seduction and he was going to be an incredibly willing victim. He started to undo his shirt but Jess came to him before he could do anything about it.
"Let me take care of that."
Standing on the tips of her toes, Jess slowly undid the buttons of his shirt, pulling it out of his jeans, which she willingly peeled off him. There was no use disguising the excitement that popped from a pair of boxers which were a burgundy match for Jess's. But she wasn't planning on getting to that yet. She pulled him to the supersize bed and pushed him on it, having him lie on his back.
"Relax, honey, I think you've been worried about me and Luke just a bit too much in the past months."
"It's normal for me to be worried," said Andrew, watching as Jess stretched herself out in front of him, reaching for the massage oil.
"But this is what I'm saying, you don't have to worry anymore. Luke and I are much better now. You'll see that when Lexi and Rock bring him back tomorrow afternoon."
"He's with Dwayne?"
"Yeah."
"And he doesn't mind?"
"No. He was actually eager to go. Apparently, uncle Rock promised him they'd have a pizza eating contest."
"Wow!"
As they spoke, Jess rubbed Andrew's legs and feet with massage oil, her fingers digging deep into the hot skin. He watched carefully as she focused on her hands and his body, biting her lower lip in concentration. She moved on to his chest, massaging his sore muscles, paying close attention to his large nipples.
"All right, all right," he said, laying his big hands on her waist, "now it's your turn."
"Not quite. Turn over."
"Jess, don't make me hurt for this. I want you. Do you want me?"
Jess's eyes darkened when Andrew asked her that question. But instead of answering it, she urged him on his back... she wasn't done with him yet.
Andrew turned over on his back and Jess straddled his hips. He rested his chin on top of his hands and smiled. It had been so long since Jess had allowed them to share such intimacy and it felt heavenly.
"Come on," she said, pulling at his hand once she was done with his back.
"Where are we off to now?"
"Just be a good boy and follow me."
Jess directed Andrew to the bathroom and followed him in. The musky smell of sandalwood permeated the air as Jess slid the silk boxers off his long legs. She gave his throbbing erection a little squeeze and a kiss and had him slide into the hot tub.
"I'll wash your back," she offered.
"No, enough Jess. Lovemaking is a two partner sport. Join me."
"Tonight is for you Andrew, not for me. It's to make up for all the waiting you had to do while I was recovering."
"Do you love me?"
"Of course I do. I love you with all my heart."
"Do you love our son?"
"Oh yes."
"Then you've made up for everything you think you've ever done wrong." Andrew slid the boxers off Jess and picked her up in his arms. He settled into the hot tub and sat next to her, wrapping his arms around her.
"I love you," he said, wrapping his hands around her breasts.
"You do, you really do, don't you?"
"Yes. And we have a future together. We're going to be happy, Mrs. Commissioner."
"Really?"
"Oh yeah."
"You know," she said after a moment, "Luke and I were talking. He told me what he wanted for Christmas."
"We're in February."
"You make the calculations."
"You're not... are you..."
"It was Luke's idea."
"A baby?"
"A baby."
"Does that mean... are you ready... for us to..."
"Make love? The past few weeks were hell for me. I want you so much it drove me almost insane."
"And why are we playing stupid games in the hot tub and with massages?" asked Andrew, getting out of the tub, dripping water all over the floor and picking up his wife.
"Foreplay," she explained as he laid her down on the bed.
"Foreplay? Jess, you and I haven't been together, in the biblical sense, for over a year now... I've had all the foreplay I could stand."
Andrew kissed his wife, passionately, wildly, covering her body with his. Slowly, carefully, as if she were getting behind the wheel of a new, expensive car she had never driven before, Jess started to run her hands up and down Andrew's shoulders. She touched him lightly, as if she was afraid of damaging him in some way.
He ran a careful hand over her curves until his fingers got lost between her legs. The feel of his hands there, in her most private of places, sent shivers of pleasure all over Jess's body.
"Now," she whispered in the crook of his neck. "I think I want you now."
"Are you sure?"
"I think so... oh yes, I'm sure... now."
Andrew looked down at his wife and covered her mouth with his. He used his fingers to open her up and came into her, slowly, carefully. The minute he was embedded inside of her, Jess remembered how great her life with Andrew had been. She had never forgotten it per se, but she had never focused on the positive of her life after Chris. She'd been so focused on her negative experiences that she'd forgotten how good her life had been.
The tears that flooded her eyes alarmed Andrew, making him stop right away.
"What's wrong?"
"Thank you," she whispered, "thank you so much."
"For what?"
"Giving me the right to be happy."
This is it... Jess and Andrew are living happily ever after, with Andrew spending a lot of time on the road, and Jess dividing her time between the corporate offices of the WWF and their St. Bruno home. Luke and his little sister Leia are planning on joining their parents in the business as soon as they grow up. Adam and Patty are still engaged but they're still not sure on when to get married.
Chris is rotting away in prison, where he belongs. Audrey's made the ultimate sacrifice and agreed to be his wife. They deserve each other.
And Jess is happy.