Disclaimer: The idea's mine, the rest ain't.
Distribution: Flights.
Notes: More of Normal. Time passes.
Both my Walkman and my Discman are gathering dust on the shelves of my bedroom. Bear in mind, I am a child of music. It's a Haitian thing. Music is an integral part of our lives. As a child, I took ballet lessons, got to appreciate classical music. Then I took Haitian folk dancing, getting to appreciate the sounds of home. Then, I got into pop music and started copying the moves from the videos. I'm the kind of person who can hit a
club and be on the dance floor from midnight til closing, stopping only to get water. I still remember the Sunday afternoons of my childhood when the house would be filled with French music.
And now, it's been almost a month since my night with Andrew and I barely listen to music anymore. Why? Because I don't want to miss any calls on my cell phone, which is now on twenty-four/seven. Andrew said he'd call me and I haven't dared calling him, even though I know his cell phone number by heart. He must be busy. I don't want to disturb him.
I wish she'd call. She has my cell phone number. Why doesn't she call?
Maybe she's busy. Maybe some other guy's finally seen through all of her and realized how beautiful she is and has snatched her up. Maybe I was just a one night stand for her. Some guy she could boast about. Show off to her friends. Look, I fucked Test. I checked the Ring Rats web site and I'm not on it. But...
Damn it, why hasn't she called?
Adam and Jason keep on bugging me to call her. And I had to erase her number of my cell phone. I don't trust them to not check it out to get her number and call her. Immature bastards. Then again, I'm the one playing mind games with her.
So I check the phone every day. It's in perfect working order, it rings when other people call me. Then why the fuck isn't it ringing when he's calling? Because he has to be calling.
All right, it's been twenty-five days. It's the day before Good Friday. I pick up the phone halfway through Survivor and dial the ten digits to Andrew's cell phone, my heart beating wildly in my chest. He answers.
"Hello?"
"Andrew?"
"Kat!"
"Yeah. I hope I'm not disturbing you."
I turn away from SMACKDOWN and grin.
"Nope. What's up?"
"I was just... I wanted to wish you a happy Easter."
"Thanks. You too."
"Thanks."
I listen to her breathe and I get up from the couch, moving to my bedroom where I'll have more privacy.
"So," I ask her, "what have you been up to?"
"Nothing much, just wrapping up the semester at school and writing."
"You have? I've been checking your site and there haven't been that many updates."
"Well, I'm working on a couple of stories that I want to wrap up before I start sending them out."
"Oh, cool. So, did you watch Wrestlemania?"
"Yeah. You were robbed. Eddie Guerrero will never be half the champion you were. He's nothing compared to you."
"Those are them breaks."
"And anyhow, you're more European than he is. You're Canadian, still a subject of the queen of England! That makes you European. He was born in El Paso. He's American. They rejected Europe and the monarchy."
"I know babe."
Babe? What the hell is he calling me babe for? If I'm a babe to him,
then why hasn't he called before, huh? I'd like to know that!
"Anyhow, the good thing is, Jeff's the new Intercontinental Champion and that rocks!"
"Heard you congratulated him and everything."
"Yep, on slapping Stephanie around."
"Mean boy."
"She's a bitch!"
"Sure."
There's a lull in the conversation. Should I apologize for not calling her?
"So," she asks, "why haven't you been calling me?"
Damn! Most girls would have wondered, they wouldn't have asked. Then again, I like her because she's not like most girls.
"I don't know."
"You don't know?"
"Well..."
"All right, cough it up. There had to be a good reason. Share it with me."
"Kat..."
"What? You ashamed because you bagged some rats on the way?" she chuckles.
Can't believe I just said that! Might as well put it out there! Andrew, I think I might have fallen for you, even if I know you've been fucking your way through the United States and parts of Canada and England.
"Kat!"
"What?"
"I can't believe you just said that!"
Neither can I. "What? You telling me you've been celibate since you and I were together?" Please say yes! God, if he says yes, I will start going to church every week, I swear it! And I will listen to the homily instead of making up stories in my mind and criticizing the other people! Just as long as you make him say yes.
"No, but..."
Sorry God, deal's off. "So? What's so bad about what I said then? It was the truth, wasn't it?"
"Well..."
"Andrew, nothing to be ashamed off. It's not as if I expected you to be completely celibate after me. I'm cool." What a lie! I want to hang up the phone right now and curl into the fetal position and forget about everything. And curse each and every one of the whores who has dared to touch him! How dare they?
I don't believe her. Hell, I don't even want to think about her with another guy. I don't know what and I don't want to think about why. But I want her to give a damn about me and those other girls. She should be mad, fighting mad really.
"So you don't care about the rats I might have slept with on the road?"
"I care but Andrew, I knew from the get go. I wasn't fooling myself."
"So if another guy came along and came on to you, you'd said yes to him?"
"I might..."
No! No! No! I don't want that to happen! She's not to talk to anyone, specially not guys who are interested in her.
"Actually, there is one guy..."
I stop breathing. There is one guy? A guy who's interested in her? Not that I blame the guy but damn it! There shouldn't be any guy! Except for me.
"Who?"
Yeah, this is the part that is supposed to make me look good, right? But how good can a girl look when she's boasting about a guy she's met on the Internet?
"His name's Kevin."
"Kelly?"
"Yes, I'm going out with Hermy." Idiot!
"Sorry. It just came out."
"I'll bet."
"So tell me about this guy, where did you meet him?"
"Promise me one thing first."
"What?"
"Don't laugh."
"I won't laugh. I swear."
"I met him through a personal ad I put on the Internet a few years ago."
He bursts out laughing. I hang up the phone. I hate men. The whole species has to die. We can harvest sperm from them before we kill them and raise a whole new bunch of males. Give them the right ideas.
I tried not to laugh. I really did. But I couldn't help myself. I still can't help myself. He's a guy on the Internet, probably some geek who can't score in real life who's stringing her along. He must look like a reject from Revenge of the Nerds. I have to calm down before calling her.
All right, it's been fifteen minutes. Chances are she won't pick up the phone but a man's gotta try.
"Kat?"
"I don't know why I picked up the phone. You are such a conceited little bastard Andrew Martin. Yeah, with your drop dead good looks, it's easy for you to score! Hell, you probably score in your fucking sleep! Not so easy for the rest of us. Do you know how many men want to approach a woman who could take them on at arm wrestling and give them a run for their money? Much less sleep with her? A woman who probably wears the same size of
shoes as they do, maybe bigger. A woman who can fill out their clothes better, and not only because of the breasts and the ass?"
Well, that shut me up.
I hope that shuts him up! Damn it, it's not because he thinks I'm attractive that the whole world does too. I'll bet there are a lot of guys who see me in the street and think I'm pretty and all but few of them, if any of them, will ever get the guts to approach me.
"Kat..."
"It's funny to you that I met a guy on the Internet, isn't it? You probably think he's a geek too, right? Well, he's not a geek. He's 6' 3", well built, has shoulder-length light brown hair and you know what, his words, just his words make me feel wanted and protected. And he has the nicest, most beautiful green eyes."
"You've met this guy?"
"No. He sent me a picture of himself and I sent it to a few of my friends and they all agree that he's a very good looking guy."
"Really?"
"Really."
Jeez, you'd almost think he was jealous or something.
He's good looking? 6' 3"? He's supposed to be a fucking geek! Geeks don't look good. They look... Geeky! But I am curious about one thing though.
"Has he ever seen a picture of you?"
"Yes."
Yes? Yes? What the fuck does that mean, yes?
"You sent him a picture of you?"
"Yes."
"And he liked it?"
"Is that so unbelievable?"
"No, of course not."
"He thinks I'm beautiful, stunning really. I told him I was okay looking and when he saw me, he said that I had to have brain damage to think I wasn't good-looking. Apparently my eyes and my smile light up a room."
"They do."
"Excuse me?"
"Your eyes and your smile. Kevin's right. They do light up a room."
"Then why did I have to wait to hear that from him?" I ask. "Why couldn't you tell me that? You've met me. You've slept with me."
"Kat..."
"I spend my whole life waiting to hear these kinds of nice words Andrew. The fact that you couldn't say them to me and that Kevin could... Well, doesn't help me."
"I'm sorry baby."
"And the babe and baby thing? In my mind, they're for loved ones Andrew, not for rats you might want to be friends with."
"I want to be friends with you."
"Then why are you jealous of Kevin? I'm tired of playing around."
I want to know what to do. Kevin's been pressing me for a meet and I don't want to say yes until I know where I stand with Andrew.
"Because..."
"Because why? Andrew, I need to know. I deserve to know."
"Because I don't want you to meet anyone else. I want you to wait for me."
"While you sleep with other women?"
"..."
"I won't do it Andrew. I've held myself back from Kevin long enough."
"So what are you saying? You and I have no shot at being together, just because..."
"He wants to meet me, make love to me."
Make love to her? I made love to her. Making love to her is my prerogative, not his.
"No."
"No what?"
"Don't meet him. Don't make love to him."
"Why?"
"Because I'm here, I'm with you."
"Andrew, it's been so long."
"I know but I don't want you to meet him. Wait for me."
"It's been so long Andrew."
"But has it been too long baby?"
She hangs up the phone. And I don't call her back.