Disclaimer: Don't own them, please don't sue me.
Distribution: Flights.
Rating: R
Content: References to f/f relationship and sexual situations.
Summary: Sequel to Girlfriend, The Morning After, The Insecure One,
Outted, Nothing Beats That, It Begins, The Date and The Second Date. Kat stays mad.
When I get to our room, I hurry and pack my bags. I do not want to see her tonight. I don't want to be reminded of her petty jealousy. I do not want to lie in a bed next to her, wanting her while I'm still so angry at her.
So five minutes after I get there, I'm out of there and knocking on my boys' bedroom door. I hear a few choice curses and finally Adam appears, looking at mite disheveled and somewhat ticked.
"Kat?"
"I need a place to stay for the night."
He doesn't say anything, he just opens the door. I go in without saying another word and I head straight for the bathroom with a bag. As I clean up and change into my sleeping apparel, I hear him and Jason talking in the bedroom. By the time I come out, they're both standing there, waiting for me.
"What happened?" Jason asks me.
"I don't really want to talk about it."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah. I just want to sleep."
So into bed we go, with me between them. It's familiar and it's comfortable. We've done this often in the past, when I was with Adam, and when I was with Jason too. I put my forehead in the crook of Jason's neck and I let the tears come. He dries them with his thumbs while Adam whispers comforting words in my ear. At some point, I fall asleep.
I wake up though to find myself alone in bed. I hear Jason and Adam talking in the other room. I get up and am about to join them when I hear Matt and Jeff's Southern accents.
"Amy's in a bad way too," Jeff says.
"What exactly happened?" Adam asks. "Kat won't say a thing."
"It's stupid. Amy got jealous of this guy Kat was dancing with."
"Oh."
"Not that I blame Kat. She just wanted to let loose, you know."
"Oh come on Jeff. That guy had his hands all over her. And she was enjoying every second of it."
"She was dancing. What was she supposed to do, huh? Not dance? Or maybe drag Amy on that dance floor?"
"I don't know..."
"Seems to me that all Kat did was enjoy herself," Adam says.
"She completely ditched Amy," Matt jumps in, "I mean, she was out on that dance forever before she came back to the table."
"You know what, you guys, it's none of our business," Jason says. I can almost see him rubbing his hands all over his face. "It's Amy's and Kat's. We shouldn't be taking sides."
"Too late. I'm with Kat on this."
"Jeff..."
"I am. Too late. I've taken a damn side."
"You're an idiot bro."
"So are you."
"Where's Amy now?" Jason asks.
"Bunking with Nora. She was crying when we left."
"Same here. Kat finally got to sleep but she's been crying a lot too."
"Ugh. I wish women didn't cry so much," Matt sighs.
"I know... Listen, we let them solve this. But if it looks like they're going to fuck up..."
"We know, then we fix it."
Jeff and Matt leave and I sit on the bed, waiting for Adam and Jason to come back. They look like little boys caught with the hand in the cookie jar.
"We worry about the two of you," they tell me.
"I know."
"We didn't mean to intrude."
"I know that too."
"Kat, how mad are you?" Jason asks me.
"At her or at you?"
"Her."
"Pretty mad."
"Mad enough to..."
"Give up on Amy? I don't have that much anger left in me. But I wasn't going to be able to lie down next to her and not get mad, get angry, I mean, really, really angry. Not tonight."
"I'm sorry."
"So that's why I interrupted your little sex games."
They both flush right then and there. I still got it. I can still rattle them. I lie back in the bed and pat the empty sides next to me. They join me almost too eagerly.
In the morning, when we get to the gym, I realize I'm still angry. So I drag Jason along to the punching bag and I let loose. After a while, while I'm going through a drill of jabs, someone lays a hand on my shoulder.
Steve Blackman.
"What's up Steve?"
"Want to give Blondie here a break and take on someone your own size?"
"You're my size?"
"Nah, but you can take me on."
Steve leads me to an area of the gym with mats all over the floor and we get down to business. Before wrestling, I took some kickboxing classes and it stuck with me. Steve's good and he's making me focus on him instead of my anger at Amy. I have to watch him, keep my eye on him, watch how he moves, make sure I stay out of his way. It's a challenge and it's exactly what I need. Finally, I have to declare myself beaten. He helps me to my
feet.
"Feel better?"
"Yeah. Thanks."
"Listen, you and cute girl need to work this out."
"Cute girl?"
"You telling me your girlfriend isn't cute?"
"She's beautiful."
"She fucked up is all."
"Does everyone know about this?"
"Adam's got a big mouth."
I turn around to glare at Adam and I see Amy instead, at the bench press, spotting Nora. She looks good, as always. But I can see the purple smudges under her eyes.
"If she fucked up," I tell Steve as I head to the locker room, "she should apologize."
Naturally, at breakfast, we're sitting together. The boys have to learn how to be subtle. They're too obvious, filling up all the seats but two, side by side. I sit down with a sigh and Amy sits next to me. Oh God, she smells so good. I want to reach over and nuzzle the back of her neck, inhale that spicy scent that's just hers. I want to forgive. But in the same breath, I don't want to forgive. I'm mad damn it! Before I can get into the whole angry mode, Jeff reaches across the table and puts my hand into hers. I react instinctively and pull my hand away but her fingers tighten around mine. Resolve, where have you gone?
"I'm sorry," she mutters.
"..."
"Kat-- I don't know, I saw you in his arms, I saw you smiling, dancing, moving so closely and I got so jealous."
"We were just dancing," I say, wrenching my hand out of her grasp. "Just dancing. Nothing more."
"I know but..."
"I wanted to enjoy myself. Dance to music I liked. Music I enjoyed. How many times did I go to your clubs with you and at least tried to enjoy myself? You were out there, enjoying yourself, dancing or whatever. You were allowed to be glad that I was just there for you. Did I think about all the guys who were too eager to bump into you by accident, the ones checking you out?"
"Kat..."
"One guy Amy. One guy who was told, the second he got busy hands that my girlfriend was there and that he didn't interest me."
"Shit." That was Matt.
"I wanted one night for what I liked. And you ruined that. And you didn't trust me. You told me I was whoring myself."
"Babe..."
"You can't even bring yourself to say you love me," I say bitterly, tears in my eyes. "But now I know why."
"I do love you," she says, crying too, "I'm sorry about last night. I really, really am."
"You hurt the fuck out of me."
"What am I supposed to do? How much more can I apologize?"
I don't know what to tell her. I really don't. Last night, her words tore me in two. Ripped a hole right through me.
"I love you," I whisper, "but I'm hurting."
"I love you too."
But loving me doesn't unsay those horrible words. They're still there. Hanging over us. And though we're started, we haven't quite solved the problem.