Part 76:
Shane watched his wife laugh with their families and took a deep breath before coming to his feet.
"If you'll excuse us," he said, coming to stand behind Kat's chair. "My wife and I need some private time."
"We do?" Kat asked, looking up at him as Shane helped her to her feet.
"We do."
Kat glared at Shane as he all but dragged her out of the hotel dining room to the lobby.
"What do you think you're doing?" she asked him.
This time, it was Shane's turn to glare as he directed her to the front desk. quot;Excuse me," he asked the long haired receptionist, "but could you get us a cab? My wife and I need to get to a hospital."
"A hospital? Shane!"
"You think I don't know?"
"Don't know what?"
"About the contractions. I know you all too well, darling wife. And the next time, I want to be made aware of when you start delivery of my children."
"Your children? What am I? A test tube?"
"Well, you're not acting like the smart woman I know."
"And love?" Kat asked pointedly.
"Right."
Kat sat back in the back of the cab that would take them to the hospital and watched Shane use his butchered Spanish to get them to the closest hospital. Finally, he sat back next to her.
"You can be as mad at me as you damn well want but I know this is for the best."
"I know," she whispered.
"Then why didn't you do or say anything?"
"Because I was too happy to see my parents."
"I can only imagine the headlines: Heroic wrestler gives birth to twins at the Dajabòn Hilton. Great press."
"Thank you."
"Hey, this is an us thing, right?"
"Right?"
Shane paced outside of the examination room while Kat was being examined. Finally, the doe-eyed nurse came out, smiling.
"You come in now," she said in her heavily accented English.
"Thank you."
Shane followed her inside and found his wife, dressed, sitting in front of the doctor's desk. He frowned immediately.
"What's wrong? Can't they have you deliver here?"
"We could," said the doctor, a man too handsome for Shane's taste as he showed him to a free chair, "if your wife was ready to deliver."
"But the contractions
"
"False labor. It happens quite often as the delivery date approaches."
"She couldn't tell?"
"Not really. Braxton-Hicks contractions are much like real contractions only they do not actually mean a woman is going into labor. However, I would suggest getting your wife back to the United States and into the care of her own physician as soon as humanly possible. She will deliver very soon."
"How soon?" both Kat and Shane asked at the same time.
"Very soon," the doctor chuckled, winking at Katia, making Shane see red.
Very soon my ass, Shane thought.
Idiot flirty OBGYN-Ricky Martin-Enrique Iglesias-Latin lover wannabe! They had been back for two and a half weeks and still, Katia wasn't showing any signs of delivering the twins. She was so not feeling pregnant that she was hosting her very own baby shower in the backyard. Well, the plan was for the get-together to be a baby shower but it had degenerated into a pool party with most of the roster and many members of the McMahon and Dorsaint clans having made it to Greenwich for the occasion.
As for his pregnant wife, Shane caught sight of her beside the pool chatting with her cousins and sister. For a pregnant woman, she was moving rather quickly on her feet and waving her hands around a lot. And she was laughing. He loved to see her laughing. He had trouble equating this woman to the girl he'd met
almost 4 years ago. She had changed since then. And pregnancy had changed her more. Her face was fuller, her breasts were
well, he wanted to build a shrine to them now. She smiled a lot more and laughed a lot. And she had more confidence than ever and damn if that wasn't sexy on her.
Kat looked up from something her cousin Tara was showing her and saw Shane smiling at her. She grinned back at him and re-focused on what Tara was showing her. Finally, she made her way back to her husband, moving a lot more slowly.
"Are you all right?" he immediately asked, getting her a chair.
"Yeah
just a little tired."
"Well, why don't you do the sitting thing for a few minutes? I've been watching you move around, doing the social thing since the party started and I'm getting tired for you."
"Sweet."
"Do you want me to get you something?"
"A glass of iced tea would be nice
and a few of those Haitian patties
and some of that delicious watermelon."
"Will that be all?" Shane looked down at his smiling wife and understood. "For now."
"For now," Kat confirmed.
"Is that the baby kicking you?" Kat's eight-year old cousin Greg asked, pressing his hand against her round belly.
"It's one of them."
"You have two in there. Mommy told me."
"Yep, I've got two in there."
"Does it hurt?"
"Not really. Except when they push against my bladder then I have to run to the bathroom."
"They do?"
"Yep. They're going to be more trouble than you," Kat chuckled.
"I'm not trouble," Greg said very seriously. "You love me."
"And I love you because you're
oh
"
The little boy's eyes went very wide as Kat's face contorted in pain.
"Katia?"
"I'm fine Greg. But I'm going to need you to help me into the house, ok?"
"Ok."
Holding on to the little cousin's hand, Kat made it into the house and to the bathroom. She sat on the commode and started to breathe.
"Greg," she said, looking at the frightened little boy, "I need you to help me, all right?"
"All right."
"I want you to go outside and get Shane, my husband. You know who he is?"
"Yes. He's the one who goes up really high and falls, right?"
"Right. Go get him and tell him he has a call he has to take inside the house. And come with him."
While Greg ran out of the house, Kat eased back onto the commode, closing her eyes as she tried to count. These contractions weren't that easy to breathe through. But luckily, she didn't get another one while she waited for Shane.
"What's wrong?" Shane asked, rushing into the bathroom.
"I'm having contractions."
"Braxton-Hicks?"
"No
these hurt a lot more."
"Should we go to the
"
Shane's words dies in his throat as Kat grabbed a hold of the closest thing at hand which happened to be his thigh.
"Ouch! Damn it Kat!"
"They're
seven minutes
apart
" she panted, untangling her fingers from the fabric of his Dockers.
"Should I call Sally?"
"Unless you want to deliver the twins, I'd say yes."
"Oh yeah, I'm going to love the delivery room," Shane muttered under his breath. "How come you didn't feel them sooner anyhow?"
"Maybe I did and didn't know it was the real thing. Shane, I'm not in the mood for an interrogation right now
"
"Sorry. Hello? Sally? It's Shane McMahon. Yeah, Katia is having contractions
Seven minutes apart from what she tells me
has her water broken? Baby, has your water
"
And as if the water was waiting for Shane's cue, it started leaking down Kat's legs.
"Broken?" Kat sighed, looking at the mess on the small bathroom carpet, "yeah. Thank God it's not white carpet."
"Yep, water is broken
so we take our time to get there? I think we can manage that. Thanks Sally, we'll see you there."
"She said to take our time?"
"Yeah."
"Shane, I don't want to worry everybody. So let's just leave incognito."
"How are we going to manage that? We're the hosts."
Then, both husband and wife turned to Greg who was standing there, watching them curiously. And together, Shane and Katia smiled wickedly.
<
Part 77:
Greg took a deep breath and walked into the backyard, trying to find the man Shane and Katia wanted him to speak to. He was so big and didn't look very nice. But he had to do it, for Katia and his future godchild. Kat and Shane had promised. So Greg took another breath and advanced.
"Would you just hush?" Greg told Paul Levesque as he went up to him, planting his arms on his hips. "This is exactly what Katia was talking about!"
"And what exactly are talking about little man?" Paul asked Greg as he looked down at him.
"The noise! How can you expect my cousin to rest if you keep on being this loud?"
"First of all, we're not being that loud and what's wrong with Kat?"
"She's trying to take a nap. She's very tired."
"Oh all right then."
While Paul did his very best to get everyone to lower the volume, the confusion and rising noise level gave Kat and Shane the perfect sound cover to leave without being noticed or heard.
"I feel a bit bad about getting Greg to lie for us," Shane told Kat.
"It'll be fine. The little monkey will 'fess up in an hour and we'll cover for
oh shit, that hurts!"
"Another contraction?"
"Yeah."
As Kat breathed, Shane took a quick look at his watch and saw they were holding steady at seven minutes. But that wasn't much comfort to his wife right now as she huffed through the wave of pain.
"Are you all right?" he asked her, reaching over to rub her arm.
"It's not so much that it hurts but it surprises me every time."
"What can I do to make it better?"
"Get me a genie so I can give birth painlessly."
"Damn, left the lamp at home. Want me to turn around to get it?"
"Don't you dare! You know," Kat said after a moment, "I'm glad I'm having children with you."
"Oh baby, that's so sweet."
"I know, sickening isn't it?"
"Absolutely. But I'll be honest."
"What?"
"I'm glad my kids are going to get some of your genes too. They'll be so kick ass. Oh course they will. They're my kids, no?"
Sally peeped up from between Kat's spread legs and smiled.
"We're at seven centimeters. So we're coming along nicely."
"I'm not feeling that coming along nicely thing you're talking about," Kat said tightly. "Really. Get down there and check again."
"I will not," Sally grinned. "You're fine Kat. But you're going to have to get used to the pain."
"I don't want to."
Shane came out just in time to hear Katia. He smiled at her as he came to stand next to the bed.
"Did you reach them?" she asked.
"Yeah. Seems like Greg fell asleep and forgot to tell everyone we were at the hospital."
"They're on their way?"
"Yeah."
"Everyone?"
"Yep. Paul says they're planning the first birthing tailgate party in history."
"Oh hell."
After about three hours, the contractions started coming in a little faster and Katia started to feel the real pain. Shane didn't know which limbs to offer her anymore. And the pain was making his wife get a tiny bit nasty.
"Give me your dick. I'll squeeze it off ya. It's the best way of guaranteeing I'll never be in this much pain again," she growled.
"Baby
"
"I am not having another child again! Ever! Not until they can transport the kid right out of my womb and avoid all this fucking pain!"
"Sweetie
"
"Why don't you just stop with all the fucking sweeties and babies and all that shit! Damn! You know, I wonder if you still know my fucking name."
"Oh, I know your name. Bitch!"
"Oh!"
"I'm going to need you to push now Kat," Sally said.
"Push? You want me to fucking push?"
"You know, if you stopped whining and bitching," Shane said flippantly, "we might actually deliver these kids before another millennium passes."
"I am so killing you when this is over Shane McMahon! I am killing you dead. And just like Serena, I'll get Paul to say he's my kids' dad. And I'll pay him off with Vince's money."
"Sticks and stones baby
"
"Oh yeah, I am totally killing
argh!!!"
"Push Katia," Sally ordered. "Push your bastard husband's kids right out of that womb so you can finally be able to kick his ass."
"Now that's a fucking incentive!"
Leaning forward, Kat started pushing and pushing and pushing until she had no more strength left. Finally, the first child came out.
"And ladies and gentlemen," Sally announced, "I introduce you to the first child of the fourth generation of wrestling McMahons, I give you baby girl McMahon."
And just like every McMahon alive and on TV, the little girl let out a lusty cry right on cue. A nurse took the baby while tears of joy started coming down Kat's face.
"You're only halfway done," Sally told her. "Your daughter's got a sibling who needs out too."
"I can't, I'm too weak
"
"Canadians," Shane snickered. "Can't finish any fucking thing."
"Fuck off McMahon! Sally, you'll hold him down when I'm done so I can kick his ass properly?"
"Yep. I've got handcuffs in my office and everything."
"Good."
With Shane cheering her on, Kat pushed until she blacked out from it. When she came too, there were a couple of red-faced, crying babies lying on her chest. Shane was sitting next to her, crying unashamedly.
"One of each," he told her, tears in his eyes, "a boy and a girl! I
Kat, I never expected
I love you and I love them
and I
"
"I love you too Shane. I'm so glad I could give them to you. And
they're healthy?"
"They're perfect."
"Well duh
they are our kids, aren't they?"
Shane bent over and laid a gentle kiss on top of his wife's head as his babies slowly quieted down. This was what life was about. This was the best life had to offer, his wife and his babies
the very best.
Part 78:
Katia was finally sleeping. It was one of the few times she'd fallen asleep without giving him a full page of instructions in case the twins woke up while she slept. Shane looked over at the crib next to their bed and saw his daughter was awake, staring up at the ceiling, a vacuous smile on her lips. Smiling down at her, Shane carefully picked her up in his arms and softly padded out of the room, leaving her mother and brother to sleep.
"You know," he told her, pecking her soft cheek, "you're a miracle. It's true, you are. It's not so much that your mother and I couldn't have kids or anything and we did have a lot of fun practicing but you're something truly special, special because I helped make you." Shane started walking down the stairs and into the den. "One day," he went on, "you'll understand how important and wonderful you are to me and your mother. We'll hurt, maim and probably kill for you and your brother, no matter what happens. As of now, you're the most important thing in our lives. Now, let me show you how your daddy can fly
now, I don't want you thinking I'm Superman or anything but I come pretty damn close
"
Her son was still sleeping when Katia finally woke up. He's so beautiful, she mused as she reached out to touch his silky brown hair. Just then, he opened his big brown eyes and stared straight at his mother. She blinked at him a few times and picked him up. She held him at arm's length for a few seconds and brought him close to her heart. She walked over to the mirror and looked at the reflection. All ten of her little boy's fingers were tightly curled into the collar of her yellow Edge & Christian tee-shirt and he was merrily drooling over the stenciled words.
Unable to do anything by smile, Kat walked over to the tape deck and slid in one of her tapes. It was a French singer, Michel Fugain, singing one of her favorite song:
Fais comme l'oiseau (Be like a bird)
Ça vit d'air et d'eau fraîche un oiseau (Living off air and fresh water, the bird)
D'un peu de chasse et de pêche un oiseau (From a little a bit of hunting and fishing, the bird)
Et jamais rien ne l'empêche l'oiseau (And nothing stops the bird)
D'aller plus haut (From going higher and higher)
She twirled around the room with her baby boy, laughing in delight, feeling happier than ever.
Finally, Katia caught up with Shane in the den
well, caught up with him
she found him, sound asleep, his daughter asleep on top of his shoulder.
"Look at that," Kat told her son, turning him around, "that's your sister and your daddy, sleeping
"
"She's sleeping," Shane corrected drowsily, "I'm resting my eyes."
"Is that what they call it nowadays?"
"Yes. Did you and my son enjoy your little nap?"
"Yes we did, didn't we honey?"
The baby blinked a few times and let out a wail that had his mother and father laughing. Then, his sister woke up and responded in a similar fashion.
"Yeah," Kat said as she sat down next to Shane on the couch, "they're definitely related."
"They most certainly are. But
"
"But what?"
"Kat baby, we're going to have to face facts, we have to find names for them."
"I'm telling you Girl and Boy Dorsaint McMahon is perfect."
"I am not calling my daughter Girl or my son Boy."
Kat chuckled as her daughter's tiny fingers curled around her father's earlobe and just pulled.
"Do you have any ideas?" she asked Shane, grinning at him.
"A few. You?"
"Yeah
the roster's been coming up with a few weird ideas though."
"Tell me about it. But my personal favorite to date was Matthew Jeffrey Hardy Dorsaint McMahon."
"They didn't! Matthew Jeffrey Hardy McMahon Dorsaint? That's as bad as Deborah Joan Dorsaint McMahon."
"Who suggested that to you? Debra or Joanie?"
"Believe it or not, that was Amy's idea."
"Amy? What the hell?"
"I don't know
but I had a few ideas for our beautiful boy."
"Do tell."
"What do you think of Brandon Joshua Vincent Anthony Dorsaint-McMahon?"
"Tribute to the fathers
I like it in a my boy's got my name sort of way. And I know my dad's ego is going to adore the stroke, yours too."
"Good. No jealousies, I can deal with that."
"And you know the funny thing?" Shane asked as he shifted his baby girl to his other shoulder. "I was thinking of something along the same lines for our baby girl. Alexandra Marie Belinda Solange Dorsaint McMahon
does that sound good to you?"
"How did you find out what my mother's middle name was?"
"I have my ways
"
"You asked her didn't you?"
"Yeah. So, do you like it or not?"
"I love it. What do you think baby boy? Joshua? That sound good to you?"
"And you, miss Alexandra? You think you can handle that lovely name?"
Both babies gurgled and smiled beatifically. Just as Shane and Katia was extolling their children's virtues, a dubious smell escaped from their diapers, explaining their suddenly content expressions.
SIX MONTHS LATER - ON RAW
"Ladies and gentlemen," JR said, "tonight Shane McMahon and his sister Stephanie, the respective owners of WCW and ECW are going to make an announcement that will completely shake up the wrestling world. And I'll tell you what, I'm kind of afraid of what these two have in store for us."
"I'll tell you what," Paul Heyman taunted his co-host, "seems to me like you're ALWAYS afraid of what Shane and Steph have in store. Could it be that you're afraid JR? Afraid they won't let you run your mouth like their father did?"
"Hell no, I'm not afraid. I'm just concerned about what they have to say, like any other WWF employee is I'm sure."
"Well, the WWF is finally dead," Stephanie gloated in the ring. "It might have taken us a full two years but we finally did it, finally wiped our father and his puny WWF off the map. Tonight, the Alliance will welcome the world to its wonderful way of doing things, the only way of doing things, the Alliance way."
"That's right," Shane agreed. "Last night, at BACKLASH, Stone Cold and I showed my father and his heir who the true dominant males in sports entertainment were. Without the precious help of their buddy Serena to interfere in their matches, they didn't stand a damn chance. And tonight, my sister and I don't just rule over WCW and ECW, but the WWF, the great and wonderful WWF, stands at our mercy as well. So if any of you WWF superstars in the back still give a good damn about your job, come out here so I can tell you exactly what my sister and I have in mind for you."
Slowly, looking defeated and depressed the WWF roster came out, HHH, Chyna and Test leading the troops, trying to put up a brave front in the face of defeat. All three of them got into the ring and Vince's heir snapped for a microphone.
"You know what Shane, making us languish would probably be a lot of fun for you but it's not necessary. Just tell it to us straight: do we have a job here, yes or no?"
"Wow, the mighty Hunter Hearst Helmsley begging for a McMahon to get things over with? After all that's happened? I think not! Oh no ex-husband of mine, we are finally going to have fun with it. Over the course of the next week, Shane and I will be meeting with all of you individually to determine if you have a place in our organization."
"Let me guess," Hunter said, "the three of us shouldn't even bother coming, right?"
"As a matter of fact, you should," Shane gloated. "after all, even you need to pick up your last paychecks since you're all FIRED!!!"
Hunter had to be restrained from hitting Shane and Stephanie. Chyna and Test were still struggling to stop him when a new song started. It was an unedited version of a new Pink song and the woman who appeared from the backstage area was dressed to match in a light pink tank top and matching leather jacket with a pair of loose light blue jeans. As she came down the ramp, a lot of the WWF superstars patted her shoulders or shook her hand. She smiled at them, never taking her eyes off the six people in the ring.
"Fire my boyfriend and my two dearest friends?" she asked Shane as Hunter gave her the microphone. "I think not. You might have destroyed Vince McMahon, with help, but do you think you have what it takes to take me on Shane?"
"You?"
"Yeah. Me. After all, I can't be that much of a threat to you since I'm just a girl and you're Shane McMahon, the Giant Killer."
"I don't think so," Shane said carefully.
"What? Are you scared of me? I mean come on Shane, I haven't been inside of a ring in more than a year. And even when I did get in the ring, I don't have half the experience you have."
"You know what, part of me wants to say yes but the rest of me doesn't trust you as far as I can throw you."
"That hurts Shane, really it does. You don't trust me?"
"Smartest move he ever made," Steph grinned. "Look at me. I trusted you and look what I got in return
"
"You got shit in return
and by shit, I mean your new boyfriend
" Serena quickly glared at Chris Jericho and burst out laughing. "It always begins with this pretend hatred before blossoming into deep, passionate
"
"Oh shut up!"
"You might as well remember this lesson now Stephanie," Serena snarled, "don't you ever tell me what to do, or how to do it. Now, cowardly Shane
you ready to show your WCW/ECW boys and girls you're the guy they should look up to for a reason?"
"Is this what you want it to be about?"
"Oh yeah Shane, that's exactly what it'll be about. You and me in a true battle for sports entertainment dominance. No interference
just you and me babe, kind of like it used to be. On an even playing field. You have the experience, I have the determination. What do you say?"
"I say tonight is going to be the first night I'm going to enjoy beating the living daylights out of a woman."
Part 79:
Serena was standing in the WCW locker room, an angry look on her face as she scanned over the faces of the men who'd pretty much betrayed her trust.
"It's not like I chose to leave," she told them. "I was pregnant. What did you expect me to do? Stick around and deliver in the ring? Should it have been a RAW or a SMACKDOWN main event?"
"Serena
"
"What O'Haire? Did I not tell you to call me if you, if any of you, had problems or concerns about management?"
"Yeah but
"
"But what? You telling me all of you preferred running to Shane O'Mac instead of trusting me? Of believing in me? Didn't I always have your backs? Didn't I always stand by you? Fuck guys, what the hell happened to fucking loyalty?"
"
"
"Well, you used to be loyal to Shane."
"Then him and his sister tried to screw me. It's not limitless this loyalty deal but I never betrayed you guys, did I?"
"
"
"Damn, you guys have never been this quiet
that's all fine and good. But tonight, I'm going to put myself on the line out there for the WWF guys. I just want to know, am I out there for your asses too?"
"
"
"I want to see my heirs!" Vince said, walking into the dressing room Serena was sharing with Hunter. "Where are my precious bundles of joy?"
"Right here," Hunter said, "right where they belong."
The babies, curly black hair stark against Hunter's white tee-shirt, were in his massive arms, tugging on his long locks.
"Who's who?" Vince asked, moving closer to the babies.
"This beautiful girl is Alexandra," Serena explained, as she picked up her daughter, dressed in light green "and her brother's named Joshua."
"And they're the future of the WWF. May I?"
With a nod from Serena, Hunter handed Joshua over to Vince and once the little boy was settled in the older man's arms, she handed him Alexandra. As the babies cooed at him, the two wrestlers exchanged a secret glance Vince was too busy to see.
"Serena, before your match tonight," Vince said as Alex's busy fingers fastened on the buttons of his shirt, "you and Hunter should come and see me. I have the papers drawn up. Serena, as agreed, you'll get the settled on amount and the power of attorney for the shares I'm giving the children."
"Vince, we can handle that later," Serena said with a smile, "this is my first day back after all
"
"No. Tonight. If I know my kids, they'll do everything they can to stop this from happening and the sooner you sign everything, the better I'll feel."
"But they can still fight it out in court and
"
"No they can't. I made the agreement foolproof. There are no loopholes, even for me. These kids' future is assured."
"Thank you," Serena said, pecking his cheek, "for my kids and me."
"No problem. These kids are my legacy; I'll do my damnedest to protect them."
Minutes before the match, Serena was seen coming out of Vince's office with Hunter beside her, both of them smiling as she rubbed her hands together almost gleefully.
"Step one, Vince," she said, turning to him.
"Check," Hunter said with a nod.
"Step two, Shane
"
"About to be checked
"
Serena came to the ring first, alone, hair loose and wearing black track pants and a tight red baby tee. She didn't do any showboating
just got in the ring and started to stretch. Shane came out, on his own too, looking very cocky as he hopped down the ramp to the ring. Once he got in the ring, Hebner gave them their instructions and the match got underway.
For Katia and Shane, it was one of the weirdest moments in the world. They were standing toe to toe in the middle of the ring, dishing it out to each other, regardless of the fact that they were married. She finally got her hip into his middle and started hitting him, backing him into a corner. But Shane was soon able to get back on top of things and started throwing his wife around like a rag doll. As he straddled her chest and started slapping her around.
As he did, Shane leaned over her, a smile on his lips.
"How you doing?" he asked. "Am I hitting you too hard?"
"Shane! We're supposed to hate each other, no chatting!"
"What can I say? I love you sweaty!"
As he said that, Shane pulled her limp body into a turnbuckle and got to humping her chin for a Bronco Buster. Feeling victory was at hand, Shane moved away from his opponent, flying like a butterfly and looking like anything but stinging nothing but dead air like a bee. Behind him, Kat slowly got up and almost laughed at her husband's silly showmanship. But in this ring, she was all business and she proved that as she walked over to him and tapped him on the shoulder. He turned around and kissed her incoming forearm.
With the fans cheering her on, Serena took down Shane with a series of clotheslines from hell. When he was lying on the mat, looking much too dazed to realize defeat was impending, Serena stepped outside the ropes and started climbing on top of the turnbuckles. Once there, she crouched on the top rope, waiting for the perfect moment to leap. And then she flew, landing a perfect elbow on top of Shane's chest.
Then, Serena crawled over to Shane and covered him for the three-count. Both parties were still in the ring, too exhausted to move when Steph came down the ramp, Jericho, Angle and Austin in tow. Serena barely had the strength to roll out of the ring and was too weak to fight off Jericho and Angle as they pushed her into the ring. Steph slapped around the woman who'd just defeated her brother and pushed her toward Austin who delivered a Stunner.
By then, the woman in the ring was unable to react or respond. And Kurt approached, an unholy gleam in his eyes.
"Enough," JR shouted, almost getting up from his chair, "she can't even defend herself. This isn't right!"
"Right? You're worried about what's right? Did you think it was right for Serena to steal Stephanie's husband away? To get Vince to sign over Shane and Stephanie's inheritance to her bastard children?" Heyman asked. "It wasn't right but your precious Serena did all of that and now she has
"
Paul's words died in his throat as a bevy of wrestling stars came running down the ramp, both WWF and WCW. Among them Jeff Hardy, Christian, the Acolytes, the Brothers of Destruction, Tazz, Mike Awesome, Lance Storm, Hugh Morrus, Billy Kidman, Hurricane Helms, Booker T, and the Rock. But instead of helping the woman whose ankle might break, thanks to Kurt Angle's infamous Ankle Lock, they surrounded the ring to watch the show.
"That's right," Steph gloated. "Come one, come all, and witness the fall of the woman who thought she could take the place of the rightful McMahon heirs. And she wanted to be your leader. Look at her now."
With deliberate slowness, Kurt took off Serena's running shoe and got into position, tightening his hands around her ankle. Then, he applied pressure.
The pain jolted Serena back to life and she screamed in pain, desperately reaching for the rope. Her calls for help went unanswered and actually elicited a grin from an observing Jeff Hardy, a young man who'd been showing a surprising mean streak for the past few months.
"You're going to be wanting to let go of the lady's ankle," said a disembodied voice.
While everyone in and around the ring looked all over for the owner of the voice, a fight began in the stands. While security rushed to stop the fight, a group of hat wearing men in the first row stood up and removed their hats. When the fans recognized some stars from another form of sports entertainment, the stars of Battledome, Bubba King, Cuda, D.O.A., T-Money, Jake Fury and Mike O'Dell, they went absolutely nuts!
The confusion created by the Battledome stars, the fight in the crowd and the voice from nowhere gave the Natural Born Thrillers, led by Mike Sanders, the perfect opportunity to take down the Acolytes, Hugh Morrus and Mike Awesome who guarded the side of the ring in front of the commentators' tables.
The opening allowed chair-carrying Chyna and Lita to get into the ring and clock both Angle and Jericho. While Lita threw Steph into Shane and Austin, Chyna helped a very weak Serena to her feet.
But now the three women of the WWF stood alone in the ring, Serena unable to defend herself as she leaned on Chyna, and Lita delivering a few warning chair shots. But it soon became clear that they wouldn't be able to hold off the opposition forever. And the Thrillers were in no position to help.
"Give it up girls," Steph sneered from outside the ring. "You're outnumbered. And my boys can and will destroy you if they have to."
"Damn Steph," Serena chuckled weakly as she picked up a discarded microphone, "are you telling me your boys are afraid of two women and a cripple? Sad
how incredibly sad
"
"We're not afraid!"
"Well you should be!"
limping, Serena ran to the end of the ring and hit Stephanie with a baseball slide. In the meantime, the Battledome guys crossed the dividers and started getting down to business. And then the rest of the combined roster who'd remained faithful to Serena came running down the ramp, cleaning house. While the remains of the Alliance pitifully made their way backstage, Serena grabbed a microphone, hopping away from the support HHH offered, leaning on her uninjured foot.
"Steph, Shane, the two of you have gone and pissed me off. Now, I tried to be nice, I tried to be kind but as of now, the fucking gloves come off and trust me, I'm gonna tear you both a new one!"
And no one in attendance had to wonder exactly what Serena was going to tear Shane and Stephanie.
Part 80:
Alex was not being good today, Kat thought as her daughter threw down a bowl of her favorite banana pudding. She'd checked the diaper, she'd checked her for teething, she'd checked her for fever
but her baby girl was just having a temper tantrum.
"All right," Kat tried to grin, "we're determined you're not hungry, you're not dirty and you seem physically fine. Now why are you trying to give Mommy a banana pudding hair treatment?"
The little girl looked her mother straight on for a few seconds and opened her mouth to spit out what little pudding she'd swallowed.
"That was absolutely lovely Alex, really lovely and what a beautiful way of expressing your difference."
As if she'd understood her mother's sarcasm, Alex almost smiled before letting out one of the longest and smelliest farts Katia had ever been given to hear.
"You got your manners from your father."
Upon peeling back the diaper, the young mother was assaulted by a smell that was beyond belief.
"How could such a tiny little body take sweet smelling food and turn it into radioactive material? That's absolutely foul kid, really truly foul. As a mother, it makes me wonder if I haven't failed you in some way
especially when it comes to what I let into your body because that shit, literally, is absolutely vile!"
And then, simply, out of nowhere, Alex smiled and Katia knew all was forgiven. Until the time came for Katia to dress her daughter.
Shane came home, his son in his arms, both of them feeling rather good. Today had been a good day. Josh had gone to work with his dad and he'd behaved like a little gentleman. Everyone at titan loved the babies and today Josh's behavior had guaranteed they would always be welcome in the most important building of the McMahon Empire.
"That's it," he heard his wife say, "no clothes for you
you don't want to stop wriggling around for me to dress you? Fine with me little lady but being naked is the price. That's right
just you and diaper today
it's the new look for arm-waving, leg-moving, body-wriggling baby
don't you look at me like that
don't you
Alex! That is totally unfair!"
Shane found his wife sitting on the bed, Alex-sized overalls and a tee-shirt next to her, starting at her daughter who was busily munching on her big toe.
"Honey?"
"Look at that Alex, that's your brother and father. Wanna know where they were today? Out! Just like men
"
"No way, nuh huh," Shane protested, "you are not feeding my daughter that men are just wrong because they are male crap."
"Watch me!"
Shaking his head, Shane turned on his heel and put Josh down in his crib, taking off the baby's shoes and outer clothing. Then, without a word, he picked up Alex and put her down too. The little girl was crying but with a kiss from her father who was careful to put her pacifier in place, she was out like a light.
"Now you," he said, coming into the master bedroom.
"What about me?" his wife asked, almost biting his head off.
"Well, we need to get you to relax, first of all. And to wash your hair
is that
"
"Banana pudding. Your daughter
"
"Say no more."
With a smile, Shane led his exhausted wife to the bathroom where he proceeded to draw her a warm bath. Once she almost disappeared under a mountain of Calgon-scented bubbles, he grabbed the cordless phone and called his sister.
"Remember how you offered us babysitting at any time?"
"You have to be kidding me! I have a date Shane. The first one in ages and this guy's not even into wrestling. I am not
"
"I'm calling in one of my favors."
"Which one," Stephanie hissed, looking through her Filo-fax from her date's business card.
"The Mexican trip."
"Mexico? This must be big!"
"It is. Not only do I need you to baby-sit but I also need you to cater a little meal for me, at the house. Coordinate with the housekeeper. I want all of Kat's favorites; Judy knows what they are, in the bedroom so we can have the night all to ourselves without interruptions. And you know what? Send a masseuse over."
"Strippers too? Male? Female? Both?"
"Both!"
"Shane!"
"Trust me, you do this for me and dad will never know about you and Essa Rios in
"
"Shut up! Fine, I'll do it. But you bring that up and I'm telling your wife about your first blow job!"
"Don't you dare!"
"Same to you."
Katia heard her husband walk back into the bathroom and sat up a little, feeling very sad and down.
"Tonight is yours. I realize I've been counting on you a lot lately to do it all and I should have given you a day just for you."
"It's ok. I don't mind so much. I love getting free time with my baby."
"But?"
"Today was just bad," she sighed, letting tears roll down her cheeks. "I don't know what's wrong with Alex today but she was just not like her usual self. She was having a bad day. And I was too; one of those bad days mothers pretend don't happen."
"Baby
"
"I wanted her to be quiet Shane. I wanted that so much, more than anything. I wanted her to be a good baby and eat her bananas and stop being so difficult about it!"
"Kat, it's normal
"
"Shane, you know how I used to kid around about kids when they were too noisy? Grind a few relaxants in their drinks and stuff?"
"Did you do it?"
"No
but I thought about it. Really, really hard."
"Did you actually get up and do it?"
"No."
"Honey, I think you and I need help. Our work keeps us both super busy and moderately stressed
"
"What are you saying?"
"Let's hire a nanny."
"No!" Kat started getting up out of the tub and wrapped a large towel around her body. "That is just not going to happen."
"Baby
"
"Shane, there are two of us, two of them, we can handle it. We don't need a nanny. Our parents handled it!"
"But we do need a break every once in a while. You will agree to that, right?"
"Yes," she sighed dropping down heavily on the bed.
"And a nanny won't take over for you. She'll just help you along. Think of her as a mothering assistant."
"Does that mean you'll get a fathering assistant too?" she asked flippantly.
"If I need one. Honey, I'd rather you get some help with the twins than wear yourself out with them."
"You know," Kat said as Shane laid down next to her, "you could help a bit more. I mean, playing with them is great but there's more to being a dad than making faces and tossing them up in the air."
"You noticed, huh?"
"That you have a way of disappearing 70% of the time their diapers need to be changed? Yeah, I noticed."
"It's just
it smells so much
and Josh keeps aiming for my eye every time."
"Shane
"
"I'll make an effort."
"If you make an effort, I'll have some preliminary meetings with nanny candidates."
"God let me meet a nanny I can stand," Katia sighed as she threw down her pen after her fourth interview of the day.
"What was wrong with her?"
"Did you not feel her hand when she shook your hand?"
"What was wrong with her hands?"
"They were full of calluses. I don't want her and her rough hands touching either of my babies."
"Katia
"
"She was after a WWF contract, not a nanny job."
"That's ridiculous."
"She paid more attention to your European belt than to the pictures of Alex and Josh. Nope, don't like her."
"Kat, delaying the inevitable isn't going to make it go away sweetheart. We need help."
"Fine, send the next one in."
"No way in hell!"
"Shane, his qualifications are
"
"Not going to happen."
"It will happen."
"Katia
"
"You convinced me we needed the help. And we do. What's wrong with getting help from the best person for the job?"
"He's
"
"Handsome, straight, available? With a body to die for?"
"Yes to all of the above."
"He's waiting outside and I'm going to tell him that he's hired as soon as we clear him with the private eye."
"No!" Shane ran to bar his wife's exit out of the office they shared.
"Why?"
"Because? Give me one good reason and we'll get someone else."
Shane stepped out of his wife's way and rubbed his forehead.
"Give me a second to think
"
"One
two
three
four
five
six
"
"He's a manny, not a nanny and
"
"A real reason Shane
"
"He's too cute!"
Laughing, Kat opened the door and waved their new nanny in.
"That is one hell of a pretty nanny you got there!" Dwayne told Shane with a grin.
"Oh shut up!"
Kat heard Dwayne's comment but didn't flinch. Hiring Allan to help with her kids had been her best move in a long time. He had a way with them which worked very well
unless the kids were just refusing to cooperate. In which case, it was his hair that got the banana pudding treatment.
"We hired him for his ass," Katia grinned. "Shane just loves it. All tight and round
kind of reminds us of yours."
At that Dwayne sobered quickly and glowered at Kat.
"Some things just aren't funny," he told her very seriously, "just not funny!"
As he walked off, he kept looking over his shoulder and finding Shane and Katia staring at his rear end.
"That's going to get us into trouble," Shane chuckled. "Into big bad trouble
"
"I love trouble
"
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