Serena was an unmitigated success in the world of WWF and as well as in the heart of WCW country. Her appearances on Shane's behalf were quickly becoming fan favorites as she was soon proven to be a master of the disguise in a league that equaled that of any incarnation of the Mission: Impossible series. Fans had seen her in the skin of any kind of every day fan, unsuspecting, until she unleashed a fury on whoever was hurting
someone whose cause she was defending.
Along the way, she formed an uneasy alliance with both Chyna and Test, endearing her all the more to the fans and raising her face heat. In WCW, she had interesting ties with all the members of the newly reformed Natural Born Thrillers, all of whom had a great relationship with their boss, Shane McMahon. Among the havoc she created there, there was the incident where she switched Ric Flair's shampoo, giving him, for that evening, a head of jet black hair, which infuriated him to no end.
But it was in the WWF that she made the biggest impact, often being chosen as Linda and Shane's spokesperson whenever they wanted to fuck up Vince's plans, which happened more and more often. She came to the rescue of the Chrises more than once, showing off her comedic skill as she mocked both William Regal and Kurt Angle by doing an impression of the real British hero, by going around the ring, crying and blubbering: It's true, it's bloody true with a fake accent that left no one without a smile on their
faces, except for Regal and Angle, of course.
Through it all though, although their schedules made it more and more difficult, Shane and Katia managed to make their marriage a success. She was still surprised by how in love with her husband she remained. He made her feel loved, safe and cared for. And whenever she was under attack in the ring and he came to her rescue, he made all of her childhood dreams come true. So the handsome prince carried a steel chair instead of a broad sword, same difference, it still made her feel cherished and loved. As for Shane, he loved nothing more than watching his wife's lips curl into a dangerous snarl when someone dared to touch a little too roughly. She was totally possessive of him in the ring and yet, she trusted him completely with all the beautiful women he worked with.
One night, the newly unveiled Ivory, enjoying her freedom after being trapped under the heavy hold of the RTC, attacked Chyna and out of nowhere, Serena made an appearance and helped the Ninth Wonder of the World out of the tight spot. Chyna smiled at her defender before raising both of their arms high up in the air. It was the birth of a strong alliance.
"Chyna," Michael Cole asked her after the match, "not only did Serena come to your rescue out there but you raised both of your arms in the air in a sign of victory. Are were seeing the birth of a new alliance here?"
"Chances are," Chyna responded, smiling at Serena, "you are. I mean, we all need someone to have our backs right?"
"What about you Serena? An alliance with the Ninth Wonder of the World?"
"Well, I could do worse. I could make an alliance with you. Seriously though, you can never have enough friends, you know..."
"That's right," said HHH, coming into the shot with Austin, "you can never have too many friends, and Serena, I suggest you start making them. And fast."
"That a threat little Hunter boy?"
"It's a damn promise," Austin said, coming forward.
"Chy," Serena whispered, "I believe that's our afraid cue."
With a smirk, both women walked off, leaving Austin and Hunter to stare after them, Cole standing next to them, trying to be ignored.
"So," Joanie asked as both women walked to their dressing rooms, "when do I get to kick his ass?"
"Damn, we a little bitter?"
"How unbitter would you feel if from one day to the next, your longtime boyfriend just left you?"
Katia said nothing. She still remembered the completely devastated look in Joanie's eyes when, the morning after a SMACKDOWN taping, Hunter had told her they were over with. No reason, just over with. She'd argued with, tried to get an explanation, but he'd stonily refused, apologizing for hurting her, for making her believe there would be more. Shane and Katia had both tried to talk to him, but this was something he would not speak about.
And though at first Joanie'd been hurt and wearing her heart on her sleeve, after a few weeks, she started to stop sparing his feelings and letting the venom out. She'd been cheated out of a future and she wanted payback. And as it was, no one could argue with her, not even her former boyfriend.
"I'd want to kick his ass," Kat said simply.
"I thought so. So, we going out tonight or are you and Shane hooking up for some sappy romantic deal?"
"He's spending the night in Atlanta, so we're going out."
Katia and Joanie were halfway through dinner when a pair of men, in their mid-twenties approached them.
"Excuse me," said the tallest of the two, a handsome guy with short brown hair and piercing blue eyes, "but you guys are our favorite WWF superstars."
"Why thank you," Kat said with a smile.
"And I can't wait to see what you guys do to Austin and HHH," added his friend, a lanky blond of about 6'3".
"We're going to crush them," Joanie grinned.
With a nod from her friend, Katia invited the two guys to join them. They were both genuinely nice guys with girlfriends who nursed not-so discreet but totally respectful crushes on the two divas.
"When are you going to do your diva shoot?" the dark haired one asked Kat.
"As soon as I can get away long enough. Then again, Shane does need my help in the WWF and in the WCW."
"Yes he does. But we need to see you frolicking on a beach in a tiny swimsuit."
"God," Katia smiled, "you are a flatterer. I like that. What's your name darling?"
"Keith."
"Chyna, be a dear and switch seats with the boy. A flatterer like that, I want to keep close by."
Shane was going surprise his wife. She thought he was spending the night in Atlanta but he was flying up to Chicago to surprise her. She was going to love it. When he got up to her room, he found her open suitcase by the bed, her clothes in a bed on the top cover. That meant one thing. She had gone out. With a sigh, Shane headed back out. His first stop was the hotel restaurant. As he walked around, he heard his wife's laughter. Following it, he rounded and corner and saw her laying a gentle kiss on a strange guy's cheek.
"Hey there boss man," Joanie said, smiling at him.
"Mr. McMahon," the two guys said, their eyes going wide at the sight of a slightly annoyed looking Shane McMahon.
"Guys," Katia said, "can you keep a secret?"
"Sure thing."
"He's my husband. So you have nothing to worry about."
"I knew it," Keith said with a confident smile to his friend Harry. "You owe me ten bucks."
"How did you know?" Kat asked.
"When you kicked Kidman's ass after he attacked Shane," Harry said, "we did a close-up with our web cam and we saw the two of you were wearing similar rings on the right fingers."
Kat lowered her head in shame and started to laugh.
The boys left and Shane took a seat next to his wife.
"Out charming the fans I see."
"More like they were charming us," Joanie said, getting up. "I'm going to get us drinks. I'm giving the two of you until I get back to be cute and shit. When I come back, I expect you guys to act normal."
"Yes ma'am."
"So what are you doing in town?" Kat asked, after laying a long kiss on her husband's mouth.
"I wanted to surprise you."
"How sweet," she grinned, pecking his mouth again.
"But I almost turned around and walked out when I saw you kissing that guy."
"Oh, you saw that did you?"
"Yep."
"Well, he was being so nice and charming. I figured I had to give him a little something."
"Well, I suppose it's OK."
"You suppose?"
"I know it's OK. Just gives me a little pinch when I see it, you know?"
"I know. Then again, Major Gunns has been trying to get into your pants lately so I wouldn't talk."
"But that's just on TV, darling."
"Doesn't mean I have to like it."
"My baby's jealous!"
"Yep! Now you tell her to keep her hands where I can see them!"
Shane chuckled and pulled Kat to him for another kiss just as Joanie came back, drinks in her hands.
"I'm back, stop being cute. And no holding hands under the table!"
Slamming their hands down on the table with a grin, Katia and Shane looked at Joanie who simply sighed and kept all the drinks to herself.
ROYAL RUMBLE 2002
Serena was sitting in a dressing room with Chyna and Test, watching something on a nearby monitor. The pager at Serena's waist rang and she checked it the alphanumeric message on it.
"All right," she said, getting up and looking at her partners in crime, "we got to go."
"Where?"
"Shane wants us back at the hotel. He's got to talk to us."
"That's clear across town," Chyna said, "and the show's just starting."
"You know what, I don't question the man. I just obey orders. Let's go."
"All right."
As Serena led Test and Chyna away, Stephanie came out of another locker room, tapping her cell phone with a grin. She dialed a number and put the phone to her ear.
"It's done, they're out of our hair."
Two minutes after Serena drove away in her convertible, Shane's WCW1 limo came rolling into the arena. JR was waiting for him.
"Hey JR, how are things looking?"
"So far so good."
"Cool. You know where I can find Serena and company?"
"Their dressing room, I guess."
"Thanks."
AFTER THE FIRST MATCH
Shane approached Serena's dressing room door and as he was about to knock on it, someone slammed a chair into his back. A grinning Big Show came into the shot and picked Shane up and carried him away.
AT THE HOTEL
Serena pulled into the hotel parking lot and saw Linda leaving the hotel. She ran up to her.
"Linda, do you know why Shane wanted us to come back here?"
"Shane? He left to meet with you at the arena."
"That's impossible. He sent us a message... damn it, we've been had."
Serena ran back to the car and tore out of the hotel parking lot, a set look on her face.
AT THE ARENA
Shane was sitting in a wheelchair when he came to, his hands and feet bound and with his father, HHH, Austin and Big Show staring down at him.
"Not feeling so high and mighty, are you Mr. WCW?" Vince sneered.
"Dad? What the hell?"
"I've got my hands on you Shane. And if you're thinking your precious Serena is going to help you, think again. We sent her on a fool's errand. You're on
your own! Son..."
IN FRONT OF THE ARENA PARKING LOT
Serena looked out to the parking lot and swore when she realized that if she stayed in the car, there wasn't a chance in hell for them to make it there to help Shane. The lot was full of people waiting to see the WWF show.
"So what do we do?" Test ask, a concerned look on his face.
"Well, before we had cars," Chyna said with a shrug, "we had legs."
And out of the car the three of them went and they started to run.
BACK AT THE ARENA
Things were happening fast. Linda had arrived and no matter where she looked, she couldn't find her son. She did run into Trish however.
"Trish, did you see Shane?"
"No."
"What about Vince or Stephanie?"
"I did see Stephanie but that was a while ago. Why? Is anything wrong?"
"Shane's missing."
Chyna and Serena were seen running into the arena, sweat on their foreheads, Test behind them when they were ambushed by Edge, Christian and Big Show. Only Chyna managed to get the upper hand on Edge and armed with a chair, she knocked Christian off Serena. But before she could do anything else about it, Show wrapped a meaty hand around her neck. Panting, Serena grabbed the chair Chyna had dropped and started hammering the Giant until he let go of her friend.
"Chyna?"
"Go, go, Test and I will be fine."
Serena took off down the hall and stopped to watch a monitor Shane being rolled into the ring.
"This seems familiar Shane?" Vince taunted his gagged son. "Only last year, it was your mother that had to be rolled down the aisle to the ring."
"But at least we didn't have to gag Mom."
"But we should have," Hunter piped in.
"See Shane-O," Austin sneered, "I don't like people messing with my shit! You practically gave Rock my belt when you interfered in our match Armageddon."
"Not to mention how you screwed us out of the tag belts last week."
"That's right Shane, you got in our way one too many time. And if WCW isn't enough to keep you busy, we'll make sure the only thing you're too busy for is breathing."
The beating that began was a testament to the awesome savagery of the former tag champions. Their blows were so violent that Shane was ripped from the chair, the ropes tying him to it in tatters around his wrists.
Backstage, Serena's face became more and more set as she watched the beating. she stated
"Hey there," she said, opening a dressing room door, "I need a distraction. Care to provide it for me?... Thank you very much... Huh, mind if I borrow that?... Thanks."
And off Serena went, carrying a sledgehammer, Hunter's weapon of choice, over her shoulder.
In the ring, Steph's face was a mask of pleasure as her husband and his partner and her father beat on her brother.
"Hold him up," she shouted, "I want to give him a piece of my mind."
Hunter and Austin were holding up a half-conscious Shane when Debra's music hit. Steve immediately dropped his half of the Boy Wonder and turned to his wife, as did Hunter and Vince. While the Austins argued, Serena slid into the ring and grabbed Stephanie and pulled her out of the ring, pressing a cloth to her mouth. As the billion dollar princess fell into a faint, Shane's bodyguard handcuffed her and pushed her under the ring, pressing a gag into her mouth.
Then, she grabbed her sledgehammer and got back into the ring. She tapped Vince on the shoulder and when he turned around, she hit him in the gut. Then it was Hunter and Austin. Serena was pulling a very weak Shane out of the ring when Regal came at her with a chair. Ever the gentleman, Shane shoved the woman supposed to protect him out of the way and took his second chair shot of the day to the head.
Serena speared Regal to the ground and started hitting him but before she could do any real damage, someone grabbed her by the hair and pulled into the ring. As soon as she was in there, she became fair game and she was brutally attacked by all three men, mostly by Austin and HHH, making their little dance with Lita almost a year ago look like a walk in the park. Blood was staining Serena's teeth and Shane was forced to watch her destruction. Finally, Vince had Austin and Hunter hold her up and grabbed her face, brushing her hair off her face.
"I'm going to ask you once Serena. And bear in mind, no one can help you now. Not Shane, not Test, not Chyna. It's all you. And if anyone in the back has any delusions of being a savior, know this, the moment your little toe steps out onto that ramp, you'll be fired!"
Serena's knees gave out from under her and Regal grabbed her by the waist, pulling her up to her feet.
"Be a smart girl," Regal whispered into her ear, "and tell Mr. McMahon what he wants to know."
"Where's my daughter?"
Serena's head hung down for a moment and when she looked up, she turned her head and smiled at Hunter.
"I think I saw Kurt on my way here. He might have come for her..."
"You think that's funny?"
"Hell yeah, it's very funny..." Serena whispered, "but not as funny as this."
Music hit and four men swung their long legs over the barrier at the same time and made their way to the ring.
"W-w-wait a second," Vince stuttered, "you aren't-- you can't be-- this isn't your place..."
"What old man," the shortest man asked, grabbing a mike, "what isn't our place?"
"You shouldn't be here... Shane... I mean..."
"First of all," one of the other men said, "you want to be letting go of the lady."
"No way you're coming into my ring and giving me orders boy," Austin sneered.
"Hey, we're not boys. We're Natural Born Thrillers."
A fight began in earnest and Regal was the first victim, being thrown out of the ring by a former Commissioner, Mike Sanders. Next up was Vince who was casually manhandled by Chuck Palumbo. As for Hunter and Austin, they were taken to school by a pair of men who knew what it took to be real tag team champions, Mark Jindrak and Sean O'Haire.
Sanders and Palumbo helped Serena and Shane to their feet and O'Haire grabbed the mike.
"Watch how you touch these two," he told Vince and his retreating faction. "You don't want to piss us off."
BACKSTAGE, AFTER THE SHOW
"How many times did you hit her with that chair?" Shane shouted at Austin while his wife was being checked out by paramedics.
"The same number that was planned Shane. Damn it boy, relax, the girl's fine."
"I am Shane," Kat said with a smile on her lips. "We're just being careful, that's all."
"You're telling me that wasn't your blood on your lips after those chair shots?"
"Well, duh, of course it was my blood. But I'm fine, I swear! I just bit into my lip by mistake."
"Is that it Doc?" Shane asked, sitting down next to his wife and patting her hand.
"Yes," the paramedic said. "That's it. Your wife's in tip top shape. A few bruises but that was expected, right?"
"Yeah."
"See Shane, I'm fine."
"Damn girl," Mike Sanders whistled as he approached, "I've never seen a girl take so many hits and be grinning after it."
"What can I say? I'm a glutton for punishment."
"You did good," Mark Jindrak said, pecking her cheek.
"Thanks."
"Hey, hands off the wife," Shane warned.
"Oh, you mean like this?"
Summarily shoving Shane off the cot, Mark pushed a giggling Kat onto her back and started fake-kissing her while her husband tried to pull him off her.
"Oh Mark, Mark," she whispered, "you are so wonderful, so manly. Oh dear, what did I ever see in Shane? Oh Mark..."
"Enough," said the paramedic. "I got to close up that lip. Then Mrs. McMahon, you can engage in whatever licentious behavior you want with your husband's
employees, OK?"
"As long as I get to watch," Shane piped in, coming back to sit next to Katia.
"Oooooh, kinky."
"Just your cup of tea my sweet."
Katia smiled and wrapped her free arm around Shane's waist. The man made her so happy, it was almost illegal.
RAW IS WAR
"Last night, Royal Rumble," JR said, "the billion dollar princess disappeared and she is nowhere to be found."
"How do you feel about your precious Serena now JR?" Paul Heyman taunted. "She's nothing more than a kidnapper! Still proud of her?"
"Well I suppose she had her reasons. Folks, let us take you back to last night's Royal Rumble when Serena disposed of Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley by hiding her under the ring. Only problem is when Stephanie's husband and father went to look for her after the show, this is what happened."
Vince and HHH waited as the ring crew disassembled the ring. All too soon, the truth became starkly evident as the only signs Stephanie had ever been there were a diamond earring that was a gift from her father and the cloth Serena had used to subdue her.
"At this time," JR went on soberly, "no one has seen or heard from either woman."
"Kidnapped the billion dollar princess. I told you that girl was no good but you wouldn't listen. Now you see how right I was?"
"Well, if Serena has indeed kidnapped Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley, I'll be the first one to very disappointed in her. But we've got no proof and… OK, I just got word that Test and Chyna were seen coming into the building. Let's see if we can get anything from them."
Both had their bags slung over their shoulders as he laughed at something she said. Before the full brunt of the joke hit Test, something entirely different hit him sending him careening into the wall. Before he could even recover, his attacker pounded, Helmsley's fists hitting the Canadian and hitting him hard.
In the meantime, Regal and Tajiri took care of Chyna, keeping her busy enough to stop her from coming to Test's help. By the time the avenging trio was done, both of Serena's associates were down on the ground, insensate.
"Tell your friend she has one hour to get my wife," Hunter spat down at them. "Or the two of you get more of the same."
"Well," JR said as the camera went back to him and Heyman, "the Game certainly got his point across."
"As well he should JR. I mean, wouldn't you do the same for your wife?"
"Well I…"
"No, of course not because you're a coward! Well, the Game's no coward and he's just the man to teach Serena her place."
"And what is Serena's place?"
"Outside the ring and in it only when it involves bras and panties."
Shaking his head in disbelief, JR turned away from his fellow commentator and started calling the first match.
Vince stood in his son's makeshift WCW office and paced the floor.
"What the hell do you mean Shane's not here?" he asked a hapless Booker T.
"He told me to meet him here before the show and he's still a no show."
"Then he's behind this," Vince growled, "he's behind it all! And you're all going to pay for his mistake."
"Excuse me?"
Booker got up and stared down Vince whose Adam's apple started bobbing up and down rather quickly.
"Well, uh…"
"I know you're worried about your daughter but that wasn't anybody for WCW who kidnapped her. That was Serena and she works for the WWF. So don't you be messing with us, is that clear?"
"It's just…"
"It's just that you want to be getting out of this office before I decide you need to see the WCW belt up close."
Vince hurried out of Shane's office with Booker staring after him.
The rest of the show went on much as it began with Hunter randomly attacking people who'd associated Serena in the past. His attacks crossed federation borders especially after the beating he delivered to the three times WCW Commissioner Mike Sanders. He'd just disrupted a championship bout between Kanyon and Booker T, throwing both contestants out of the ring when the Titantron flickered with static.
"Hunter, Hunter, Hunter," Serena said, "you been misbehaving in my absence?"
"What did you do with my wife, you damn…"
"Nothing…"
"You lying…"
"You know Hunter," Shane said, appearing into the shot, "all this screaming can't be good for you… veins popping and all that. You should try to relax more. Let me teach you this relaxation method Serena taught me."
"We'll show him together. After all, my name is Serena and I am queen of all things serene. You know Serena… serene?"
"That is so funny serene Serena."
"Thank you Shane."
"All right, let's show Paul out to do it."
The camera panned out every so slightly to show Shane and Serena sitting on a beach with sand so light it looked powdery and white. Their legs were crossed and they put their wrists over their knees and started taking deep breaths.
"Serenity, Serena, serene," they repeated softly, their lips curling into a smile. "Serenity, Serena, serene."
"That seems relaxing," Linda said, joining them, sitting down next to Serena and copying her position. "Serenity, Serena, serene. Serenity, Serena, serene."
In the ring, Hunter was now joined by Vince and both of them stared at the screen, eyes full of anger and rage.
"What the hell is the matter with you Linda? Our daughter is missing and that… that… person you're with kidnapped our daughter! You're going to sit with her and play games?"
"See Vince, that might be a touch difficult to prove, this kidnapping theory of yours."
"Difficult to prove? Millions saw you. Now, if you give up Stephanie, I might be willing to consider dropping the charges against you."
"And if I'll just beat you within two inches of your life."
Serene Serena smiled at that and got up, walking away from the still meditating Linda and Shane.
"You know, the two of you have been ranting about getting Stephanie back but I don't think either one of you asked how she was or if she even was OK."
At that, both men had the good grace of looking ashamed. But Hunter was quick to recover from it.
"She was kidnapped! We know she must be scared and confused."
"Funny how I think you couldn't be more wrong."
"Well, you have an unfair advantage Serena," said a female voice. "You know that I wasn't kidnapped, you know I'm not scared or confused. Hell, you know I'm feeling pretty damn good."
"Steph?" Hunter asked. "What…"
"Didn't quite expect me to walk away from you, did you Hunter? Marriage was fun but it got boring, you know? I wanna trying a bitch on my own. Might be fun."
"What are you talking about?"
"I'm dumping you."
The look of utter shock on Hunter's face was made even comical as he was being dumped in front of millions.
"Stephanie," Vince said, sending a worried look to his shell-shocked son-in-law, "you can't be serious, darling."
"I am Dad. I don't want to wait until Hunter starts acting like a dog like you. That and he's pushing for kids and I'm not ruining this figure."
As she said that, the camera did a downward span, taking in a shot of Stephanie in a very revealing outfit consisting of a white tank top that was tied under her breasts to show off that very asset and of blue bikini bottoms.
"I can't believe any daughter of mine would act so despicably."
"Well Vince," Serena grinned, "make the leap of faith."
"Actually, I thought you'd have been proud of her Dad," Shane said. "After all, a scheme like that is definitely worthy of the Higher Power's daughter."
Vince's face went blank as son and daughter shared a laugh.
"Vince," Serena added, still smiling, "I believe that was a buuuuuuurn!"
The whole arena, except for Hunter and Vince burst into laughter at that.
"Just to let you know Dad," Shane said, "we're taking the rest of the week off to celebrate Stephanie's divorce so you enjoy your last week in control of the WWF because next week, we're taking over."
Once the camera was done with the shot, Katia and Shane fell back on the makeshift beach, giggling like kids. Linda and Stephanie watched them for a short minute and away they went.
"Reminds me of our honeymoon," Shane sighed.
"Me too."
"I want to have another one."
"Honeymoon?" Kat asked, coming to her feet and pulling Shane up along the way.
"A vacation or something, yeah."
"What brought this on?"
"Before, I didn't have to share you with anybody. Now I've got to share you with millions of fans. I want some time with my wife."
"That's an awfully nice thing to say. And I got to agree. Some us time would be quite nice."
"Cool, I'll see dad in the morning and see what he can do about getting us a whole week off."
Kat's eyes were full of tears when she came out of the bathroom into the empty office she shared with Shane. Her darling husband was currently begging his father for a week off. She was torn between happiness and sadness, and leaning toward a feeling of complete ineptitude. She sat down at her desk, shaking her head at her silliness and tried to work. But she couldn't do it and tears stained her cheeks as she got lost in her repetitive screen saver.
That's how Steph found her, staring at a dumb screen saver.
"You done already?"
"Huh?"
"The story line for the Dudleyz, you're already done?"
"Oh huh, no I'm not."
"Are you OK?"
"What? Oh huh, I'm all right, I guess."
"Kat?"
"I'm pregnant," she blurted out, tears starting anew.
"Oh Kat, that's so wonderful! Right?"
"Right… Well, I don't know anymore…"
Stephanie pulled her sister-in-law to the couch and sat down next to her, Stephanie took Katia's hands in hers and gently rubbed them. Shane's wife sobbed quietly and tried to breathe a little more calmly.
"It's not that I'm unhappy. I am. I'm going to be a mommy. And I'll be a good mommy and Shane'll make a great dad."
"But…"
"You know your father and you know your brother. I'm going to be taken off TV. And, call me crazy, that's the last thing I want."
"Katia…"
"I know, you think it's dumb. But I get such a charge out of being on TV. It's almost a turn on. And now…"
"You can't do it anymore."
"No," Kat said forcefully, "I can do it. Chances are, they won't let me. And it's not as if I'm asking to be bounced around the ring like a rag doll. I could manage. Like you do Hunter."
"I get slapped around a lot!"
"I know. But I wouldn't. I just… don't you think it's time the WWF portrayed a realistic pregnancy?"
"Well, how realistic do you think we should get?"
"Well, as real the WWF can get."
Steph bit into her lower lip and started to nod with more and more enthusiasm.
"I'm guessing you have an idea?" she asked her sister-in-law.
"You'd be right."
"All right. Hit me."
When Shane came into the office, he found his wife and sister working hard on a script, their heads bend together.
"Ladies," he said, bending down to kiss his wife, "am I disturbing you?"
"No, not at all," Kat said, almost shyly.
"This is my cue to jet," Stephanie said. "Kat, we'll talk later?"
"Steph, you don't have to…"
"Yes, I do. Coward. Bye Shane."
"Steph? What's wrong with her?" Shane asked, sitting down behind his desk.
"She thinks she's funny," Kat whispered.
"What's the matter with you?"
"Come and sit with me."
Kat moved to the couch and Shane followed her, sitting next to her.
"I love the WWF," she said, "you know that right?"
"Of course I do. You love it as it you were a McMahon."
"Right. And you know how I love being out there on the stage too?"
"What's wrong Kat? What's going on?"
"Let me do this Shane. Please."
"OK."
"If, for any reason, I was pulled off TV when I was still doing good, I'd be crushed."
"Kat, you're scaring me. Why would you be pulled off TV?"
"I'm pregnant Shane."
Shane's eyes went so wide, they looked bigger than Canadian Twoonies. He let out a series of joyful whoops and picked up his wife in his arms, twirling her around the large office until Katia couldn't stop laughing with him.
"I'm going to be a father! A dad! Oh this is going to be so much fun! We're going to train the first next generation of McMahon wrestlers. They'll learn their Swantons from Jeff Hardy and Sean O'Haire and Dwayne'll come up with a modified version of the People's elbow for them and… and…"
"Don't you think Dwayne'll teach his People's Elbow to his kid first?"
Shane stopped and looked at his wife as if she'd lost her mind.
"We're McMahons!"
"So?"
"We get dibs! Oh this is so fantastic! Dad will be ecstatic! His first grandchild, the first in the new McMahon generation, with two superstar parents!"
"Shane," Kat laughed.
"We'll build a little ring in the gyms at both houses so he…"
"Or she…"
"Or she can practice. Baby, I don't care if it's a boy or a girl but our kid is going to be a WWF heavyweight champion at some point."
"Shane, Shane, stop planning the kid's life before it's born."
"But... but..."
"Hush," Kat whispered, laying a finger over his mouth. "Shut up for a second."
"OK."
"I want to stay on TV. Throughout the pregnancy. Until I have to be rolled down the ramp."
Shane went really quiet at that and looked at his wife. She looked serious, her mind set.
"But baby... It could be dangerous. For you and the baby."
"True. But I'm not going to do Swantons or crazy jumps off scaffolds. I just want to participate Shane."
"I don't know honey."
"Once everyone knows I'm pregnant, no one will do anything to hurt me. We both know that."
"I know baby, but..."
"It can be done Shane. Stephanie and I worked it out. It can be done."
"Kat..."
"Shane. Please. If Steph and I go to your dad and the rest of the booking team with this, we'll get shut down. But if we have you on our side..."
"Kat, I don't know if I want to do this."
"Why not?"
"First off, how far along are you?"
"I made a doctor's appointment for tomorrow to be sure but I'd say seven or eight weeks."
"First of all, let's see how healthy you and the baby are and then…"
"Shane," Kat said, touching his hand with hers, "until tomorrow, think about it. Please don't dismiss this. Please?"
Shane shook his head and gathered his wife into his arms.
"Don't ask me to make any decisions about this right now," Shane said. "Let me just enjoy my impending fatherhood, okay?"
"All right. This is pretty cool, isn't it?"
"Oh yeah. And I say our kid will win all the belts the WWF has to offer at some point or other."
"And WCW?"
"Those too, but in while the kid's still a teenager."
Laughing, Kat kissed her husband, the father of her future child.
Shane and Kat sat in the doctor's office, holding hands, knees touching while Sally looked over the results of Kat's physicals. Finally, she put down the folder and looked at her patient and her husband.
"I thought we'd agreed that you two would speak to me before getting pregnant."
"I know but I guess the pill failed," Kat said. "We weren't trying for kids. We wanted to wait another year."
"Well," Sally sighed, sliding her glasses back on top of her nose, "you're healthy, both of you. The blood work came back positive. Kat, I'm going to start you up on some prenatal vitamins and stuff and I want you back here in 6 weeks for another check up."
"All right."
"Can you tell us how far along she is?"
"I'd say seven and a half weeks to eight."
"I was right!" Kat gloated.
"Yes, you were. Now, what about physical activity?"
"You want to know if you two can keep having sex?"
"No! Well, yes... Huh, can we?"
"Yes, of course."
"Good, but what I really meant was can she work out and stuff?"
"Yes, but I want you to slow it down Kat. With your metabolism, you'll be back in tip top shape very quickly. Let yourself go. Get a little fat."
"I can do that."
"Now, let me guess... you want to keep working in the ring, right?"
"Yeah..."
"Well, it won't be a problem as long as those idiots don't come at you with a chair, OK?"
"Exactly what I told Shane!"
"And no sliding into the ring on your stomach!"
"Well duh!"
"Just strut your stuff and look bitchy," Sally chuckled. "That'll do you just fine."
"I can do that."
"That's right," Shane said thoughtfully. "She can do that."
"Absolutely out of the question," Vince growled from his desk. "There is no way in bloody everlasting hell that my grandchild is going to make its WWF TV debut before it's even born."
"It's not like it's only your decision here Vince," Kat said.
"Oh, but yes it is!" he shouted. "And no grandchild of mine..."
"That you know of."
"... Is going to be on... What did you just say?"
As Vince turned cold eyes to his daughter-in-law, everyone in the room slid their chairs from the conference table, not wanting to get drawn into the fight which had now gotten nasty.
"I said that you don't know the first grandchild that you know of to be on WWF TV," Katia said belligerently.
"Young lady..."
"Yes, Papa McMahon?" Kat said almost perversely.
"My private life..."
"...Is out there for the entire world to see. You think anyone still believes in the myth of the perfect Vince McMahon? You couldn't be more wrong!"
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
"That the second I start showing, news of my pregnancy is going to hit the Internet and you're going to get in shit for hiding your pregnant daughter-in-law."
"Are you presuming to teach me anything about the business you little upstart?"
"Now Dad," Shane said, rolling his chair closer to his wife's, "bear in mind, this is my wife you're talking to."
"Same goes for your wife, son!"
"Dad, our idea isn't bad," Stephanie said. "After all, we have to make up for our previous pregnancy angle."
"And what if she gets hurt?" Vince asks. "What then?"
"I won't get hurt."
"She won't Vince," Paul Heyman intervened. "Our guys aren't animals. There isn't anybody on the roster, on any of our rosters, who'll touch her while she's pregnant. We all know that."
"But what if..."
"They won't."
"We won't," the other Paul said, smiling at Kat. "Actually, I think it'd be a good idea too. We really have to make up for the Mae Young fiasco."
"Right," JR agreed. "And Vince, it'll win us some credibility points."
"So all of you want Katia to wobble up and down the ramp, hauling a steel chair and managing?"
"Yes," came the response from everyone in the room.
"I want everybody out of here. Except for the mother-to-be."
Everyone left, except for Shane.
"Shane," his father said, "unless you're planning on turning into a mother by way of some weird surgical procedure, I suggest you get up and walk out of here."
"Dad..."
"Shane, your father won't hurt his first grandchild's mother. It's cool."
Squeezing Kat's shoulder one last time, Shane got up and left. Vince sat down and looked at his daughter-in-law. She was grinning at him. He burst out laughing.
"You are a smart little bitch, aren't you?"
"The smartest."
"Until when? Do you want to be on TV that is?"
"Until I can't do it anymore."
"We've turned you into one hell of a glory hound, haven't we?"
"Oh yeah. Momma loves the limelight."
"And if you don't get it?"
"Vince, think about it... I'm pregnant and I'll be backstage. Do you want that kind of atmosphere?"
"You're the devil," he sighed.
"I'm actually a lot cuter than Satan."
"Come here," Vince said, getting up and opening his arms to her. "You know, you're almost as tough as a McMahon."
"Almost?" Kat asked, hugging him tightly.
"Yeah. Almost. But you're getting there."
"Thanks."
RAW IS WAR, the following week
A limousine came into the arena's parking lot and stopped as Michael Cole rushed it, camera crew trailing after him.
"Vince's limousine's already arrived," Michael announced, "and that can only mean one thing. The McMahons are arriving. By the McMahons, I mean Linda, Shane and Stephanie. And they're probably accompanied by Serena herself."
The door opened and out came Shane, cocky grin well in place. Then he made a big show of helping his mother, his sister and his partner in crime out.
"Stephanie," Michael Cole said quickly, "is your decision to leave your husband final? Aren't you going to give your husband, HHH, one last chance?"
Stephanie looked thoughtful for a second and finally shook her head. "See Michael, my life has always been about the men in my life. When I was younger, I was always Shane's sister or Vince's daughter. Then I was the Undertaker's victim, Test's fiancé and finally, I was HHH's wife. As of now, I want it all to be about me, Stephanie. I want to start enjoying the ride."
"But..."
"Run along Michael," Serena chuckled, "this is about all you're getting out of her tonight."
"Well, this is all Stephanie seems to be willing to say about her impending divorce proceedings. Can you believe it? Both McMahon women are divorcing their husbands at the same time."
"Stop gloating JR. it's not like you have a shot with either one of them. They're lonely, not blind!"
"You thought I… well I never… you…"
"Well since I finally got him to shut up, let's join Jonathan Coachman who's standing by the Game's dressing room, waiting for comments on his soon-to-be ex-wife's statement. Come on Coach, knock on the door already."
Looking like he wanted to shit in his pants, Coachman raised his hand to knock on the door and it swung open. HHH stood there, staring down at him and at his camera.
"Well, I guess now's as good a time as any. Steph, you want a divorce? You got it."
"She does?"
"Oh yeah. It's hers."
"That's very generous of you."
"Yeah."
"What brought this on?"
"Maybe," Vince said, coming out of the dressing room, "the fact that I just disowned my children and made HHH my heir."
"You have?"
"Yeah. Just signed the papers."
"B-b-but what about Shane and Stephanie?"
"I don't give a damn about those two! If their mother has anything to give them when she finally croaks, it's her business."
"But Mr. McMahon, to turn away from your children…"
"I've had it with those two!" Vince screamed, face mottled with anger. "They're constant disappointments! Ever since he became my son-in-law, HHH has never disappointed me. And I'm going to reward him for that."
"He can't do this! Disown us? Mom, he can't do this, right?"
"Actually, your father can do whatever he wants with the money he has left when he dies."
"But that's our money! He can't give it to Hunter! He's not even going to be part of the family when he signs the divorce papers!"
"Calm down," Serena said softly. "Getting excited isn't going to help."
"Shut up!" Steph screeched. "This is family stuff! You don't even belong here."
Serena's face hardened at that as she stared down the youngest McMahon. Finally, Stephanie looked away.
"I'm going to check up on a few friends."
"Serena," Shane started to say but the dressing room door was already slamming shut. "Damn Steph, there's a reason why Serena's on our side. She's too dangerous to have as an enemy."
"I'm Stephanie McMahon-Helm…" Steph's words dying on her lips as she realized what she'd been about to say. "Well, I'm dangerous too! I'm a McMahon damn it!"
"Being a McMahon doesn't guarantee strength," Linda said softly, "but it helps."
"Serena does too," Shane added.
"Well," JR said, "Linda and her children seem to have regrouped but Serena still hasn't shown up. Shane's been looking for her but he's constantly missing her by a few minutes. He either has atrocious timing or Serena doesn't want to be found."
"I'd go with your door no. 2 there JR. Serena's so drunk on what she thinks is her power, she needs to learn her place. And that's not as a part of the McMahon inner circle."
"We'll see how this develops. Right now we're getting ready to see Vince's new heir face Kurt Angle in a payback match. Last week on RAW, still enraged over the fact that his wife was divorcing him, Helmsley took some of his anger out on Rhyno. That's when fellow team RECK member came to his aid. And all Angle got for his trouble was a savage beating. So tonight Angle gets his revenge."
"Kurt?" Stephanie said, coming into the team RECK dressing room, "do you think I could talk to you for a second?"
"Steph, if you think that just because we're friends…"
"Wow Kurt, you still think of me as your friend?"
"Of course! You did the right thing by supporting your husband. You were married to HHH, not to me."
"Thank you for being so understanding. Now about your match tonight…"
"I'm not going to take it easy on Hunter just because you might still have feelings for him."
"Take it easy on him? Kurt, I want you to tear him apart!" Stephanie said as her face turned into a grimacing mask. "And when you apply that ankle lock, I don't just want you to have him tap out. Break that ankle Kurt!"
"Oh I will Steph. I'll break it just for you."
"And you know what else Kurt? I'm going out there with you and I'll be there to hear that bone snap."
Laughing and talking, Kurt and Stephanie walked out of the dressing room, leaving Edge, Christian and Rhyno to stare after them.
"He really likes her, doesn't he?" Rhyno asked his friends.
"Guy," Christian answered, "he wants to be the whipped cream on her Jell-o pudding."
"The vanilla ice cream on her apple pie," Edge added.
"The filling in her Twinkie," Rhyno said with a demented grin.
Edge and Christian took a moment to stare at Rhyno and then nodded their agreement.
"Exactly," they said, as they all three high-fived each other before joining Kurt and Stephanie.
"Well, here we are at ringside," JR said, "Vince is already here with his new heir and we are waiting for Kurt Angle. And here he is now."
Kurt came out to his theme song and had quite a few people accompanying him, among them, his fellow team RECK members and Vince's rejected heirs, Shane and Stephanie. The battle lines were drawn very quickly and Kurt was fast becoming another victim of the Game's in-ring mastery.
But then, Stephanie stepped onto the apron to distract the referee giving Shane the perfect opportunity to use his kendo stick on the Game. Hunter fell, weakened, and Angle moved in for the kill. Just as he applied the ankle lock, Serena came tearing down the ramp, carefully sliding into the ring and stopping when she was face to face with Hunter.
When he recognized her, the McMahon heir started moving toward her, trying to wrap a huge hand around her neck but she slowly slid back out of the ring. Being so close to the ropes after crawling around after Serena, Hunter grabbed a hold of them and held on until Hebner got Angle to release his hold on Helmsley.
Irritated by the turn of events brought about by Serena, both Shane and Steph started going after her but she refused to answer any of their questions. Back in the ring, Hunter was literally cleaning house especially when Edge, Christian and Rhyno got into the ring. Finally, Hunter got Angle alone in the ring and put him into the pedigree. That was the decisive move and Hebner got the bell rung for the winner of the bout. On the ramp, Shane and Stephanie turned around and saw a victorious Hunter raise his hands in the air.
Angered, they turned to Serena and found her grinning back at them. She stopped their questions and words by raising a hand in the air.
"You know what Steph? You might have been right earlier. I'm not part of the McMahon family. But here's where you're wrong: I belong here. I am known here. I'm liked here. I'm loved here. By all."
"You're nothing," Stephanie screeched. "You fucked up the match."
"Did I really? What makes you think I wanted Angle to win in the first place?"
"B-b-b-but…"
"But nothing. You don't know me darling. So don't think you can guess my motives, ever."
"Serena," Shane asked, "what the hell is that supposed to mean?"
"That means you're going to have to look for a new enforcer Shane. Cause I quit."
"Quit! You can't quit on me. I'm Shane McMahon."
"And I quit on you."
Shane raised his hands to Serena and stopped there as wrestlers came out from the back, both WCW and WWF. His hand in the air, Shane watched them warily. Finally bolstered by their presence, he looked at Serena.
"Hell, I don't have to hit you; I can just get one of my employees to do it for me. Booker?"
The WCW champion shook his head and looked away. As did most of the superstars standing there. As he realized what was happening, Shane started backing away.
"You see Shane," Serena said, walking toward him, "you made a mistake when you brought me into your inner circle. You got me to do all of your dirty work but no one respected you. They all respected me. So tonight, you find out that all the respect you thought they had for you is for me."
"You can't mean…"
"That all of these people will answer to me before answering to you? Oh yeah Shane, I do mean that… and I'm about to prove it."
Snapping her fingers, the wrestlers at Serena's back rushed Steph and Shane, picking up the billion dollar princess and dragging her brother into the ring. There, Angle, Edge, Christian, Rhyno, Hunter and Vince found themselves similarly detained. With the help of the men of Kronic, Serena got into the ring. She walked over to the detained people.
"This is about natural selection. And I naturally select Vince, because without him, none of us would be here tonight. He's the real brains of this operation."
Freed by a massive Undertaker, Vince smoothed down the folds of his jacket and glared at his children.
"You can't even pick trustworthy allies. Constant disappointments."
"Aren't they just?" Serena chuckled. "Now I move on to Rhyno. Something incredibly exciting about a man who can perfect the gore that way… and with such power."
So then it was Rhyno who was released by Hugh Morrus.
"And last but not least… no point in courting Vince's anger by humiliating his heir any further."
Thinking it was him Serena was talking about, Shane stood up a little straighter but Test's hold on him was unforgiving. Hunter however walked over to Serena, a smile on his lips.
"This is real power Stephanie," Hunter told his soon to be ex-wife. "And you might have been able to fool yourself into believing that you were the dominant female in the wrestling world but I think my new… friend just proved you different, wouldn't you say?"
Laughing, Serena, Vince and Hunter walked out of the ring, leaving Shane and Stephanie to wonder which way was up.
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