Distribution: Flights
Notes: More of the Normal fic. Might be the last part. Only Kat's POV.
Running into Rolana is like… so weird and prophetic. The last time I saw her as… years ago and she hasn't changed a bit. Yeah, she's been under the knife for a few enhancements but I don't mind. She's cruising forty and stunning and damn, I missed her. She's not really my cousin though. She's my godmother's niece and my godmother's husband is my mom's cousin, three or four times removed… but that's us Haitians for you. If the relationship's too complicated, we shorten it and say whoever is our cousin. So she's my cousin.
"Just clocked my ex-boyfriend."
"The wrestler?"
"How did you know about that?"
"You know… your mother through Aunt Jean to my dad and to me."
"Yeah… the news chain," I say somberly.
"Yeah. What did he do?"
"Cheated on me."
"Which one of them is he?" she asks with a nod behind me.
I turn around and see Adam and Jason coming my way.
"Neither," I tell her before glaring at the boys. "Before you get any closer, did any of you know?"
"Nope. He boinked her on the plane. I found out right before you did."
"Good, you two get to live."
"Introductions?" Rolana asks, nudging me with her hip.
"Yeah, Adam, Jason, my cousin Rolana. These two are fine. As bad at picking friends as I am with boyfriends but hey, nobody's perfect…"
"But you got him good. Sucker didn't think you'd hit him…"
"Asking for a hit from a woman he'd just cheated on was dumb," Adam said, putting his arm around his friend. "But that's Drew for you. Now, are you going to be okay?"
"I'll be fine. Eventually. It's just that right now, I hurt a lot."
"Well, I don't get to see you often cousin," Rolana says, "but I intend on making all of that up to you tonight. There's a salsa contest tonight at the hotel where I'm staying. Let's have a day of pampering and shopping. On me."
"I don't know Ro…"
"Say yes," Jason urges me, "you deserve it. And we'll hook up with you guys after the show."
"She's saying yes," Rolana says, "I'm not letting her say no."
"Fine," I smile, "I'm too weak to say no."
Ok, a day of pampering is exactly what I needed. Rolana just walked into the spa of her hotel and bam, in five minutes, we were laid on tables being massaged by the masseuses with the most wonderful hands in creation. We get manicured, pedicured, epilated, plucked, and exfoliated. By the time we walk out of there, I feel so mellow it's not even funny.
"Now, I take you shopping," Rolana tells me as I stand then in her borrowed track suit.
"Which I can afford," I say with a smile.
"Listen here kid, I have about twenty years to make up for. So shut up and enjoy it."
"You do realize I'm not the same little girl who thought you were the coolest thing since Kool Aid, right?"
"And?"
"I just wanted you to know you can dress me up in pink and stuff… but I'm ok with you paying."
"Good. Now, let's find you a low cut top that'll show off your big tits."
"They're not that big!"
"Whatever. We'll find you a push up bra that'll give you a Grand Canyon like cleavage."
"Ro!"
"Hush… just do as I say… I'll make it worth your while."
Ok so it's fun to let someone else pick up the tab. Too bad I didn't score enough pricey presents from Andrew. Might have made me feel better. Ugh… who cares about him anyways? He can keep his funky money and lanky girlfriend. Tonight, I'm coming out. And with Ro as my personal shopper… I am definitely coming out. She got me this whole deal in bright red leather, a skirt and a matching jacket with this outrageously small top with no straps that feels like it's going to liberate my boobs at any time. Then she does my hair and damn, it's never felt so light and full and my make-up and when I look in the mirror, I'm totally wowed! I don't remember looking this good. And even standing to my model cousin, I know I look good.
"Oh Ro! Thanks so much!"
"Oh please! The basics are already there. I just enhanced them a bit."
"Still… you did good."
"Thanks. So, you ready for tonight?"
"Yeah," I said with a brave smile.
So I'd lied. I wasn't ready to flirt up a storm. I didn't know how to flirt up a storm. I wasn't comfortable flirting up a storm. Sure, I got a great boost from all the guys paying attention to me, especially when I was sitting next to Ro but the laughter never reached my heart. In my heart, I'd still been dumped by a man who'd chosen a skinnier woman over me. Even after Adam and Jason had joined us, keeping up the pretense of smiling was so hard. I wanted to go somewhere and cry.
"Are you okay?"
I look up at the voice and see a guy… his name's Jorge. He's here for the salsa competition. I'd seen him move. He'd been great. He's a good-looking guy. Certainly not the most handsome man in the room but he holds his own. And he's got a great smile.
"I'm fine," I smile brightly.
"You look a little sad."
"Let's just say that I've had better days."
"We all have. What's got you down?"
"Nothing. Really."
"Really?"
Jorge wears me down and in the middle of a noisy club, I find myself laying it all out for him, telling him about my insecurities, Andrew, his cheating… and in the dim lighting, he reaches up and wipes away my tears. Oh God, I don't know what to do. I want to give it to this silly urge to be seduced by this man and yet, years of good behavior hold me back.
"Dance with me," he says, getting up from the booth, my hand in his.
"I don't know."
"It's a slow song. You don't have to do much except hold on to me."
Again he wears me down and I'm on the dance floor in his arms, swaying to an old Toni Braxton hit. I close my eyes and put my head down on his shoulder, letting him lead while I just move with him. He feels all right I suppose but he doesn't feel anything like Andrew though. In Andrew's arms, I'd felt safe and secure and like nothing could touch me. In Jorge's arms… I don't feel the same. I feel sexy but ordinary, not safe, not secured, not cherished, and just wanted for that one night. Whatever happens between him and me won't go beyond one night and that breaks my heart. Before, with Andrew I'd… oh God…
I push Jorge away and stumble from the dance floor and I see him, leaning against a wall, watching me. I toss my hair back and I walk out of the club onto the small terrace for a breath of fresh air.
"We're not getting back together, are we?" he asks me.
"No."
"I was too impatient, huh?"
"Were you that mad at me?" I ask. "That mad that I couldn't drop everything and come to you when you called for me?"
"Yes."
"I never figured you for being a spoiled little brat."
"I didn't think I was either."
"Why her? Of all the women you could have been with, why her?"
"Because you hated her so much," he says simply.
God… kill me now… out of all the things he could have said, that has to be the most hurtful.
"I… I didn't think you'd ever say no to me," he whispers. "I always figured you were so lucky to be with me that you'd always want to do whatever you could to make me happy."
"Was I that much of a pushover?" I ask, "so much of a pushover that you thought you could just threaten to dump me and I'd come running to you?"
"No… but I wished you'd been. I know you loved me and that you'd do a lot for that love but…"
"I didn't go as far as you'd expected, right?"
"Yeah."
What is there to say? Nothing really. I shrug but I don't stop him when he covers my shoulders with his leather jacket.
"I'm going to go back inside," he says.
"…"
"I'm sorry it had to end like this. I wish it could have been better between us."
"…"
"Bye Kitty Kat."
He leaves and I sit down on one of the cold benches lining the hotel. I cry… a good long cry until Rolana joins me. She sits next to me and covers my hand with both of hers.
"He's an ass," she says.
"Just a bit."
"How do you feel?"
"Like a raccoon."
"Funny, you look like one too. Come on, let's take care of this."
We're laughing it up in the bathroom while she fixes my make-up when Stacy and Torrie walk in. I don't want to look at her but I can't help it. It's strange how she fascinates me now. She's so different from me in so many ways. Definitely doesn't fit my beauty standards but my standards didn't really matter here. Torrie smiles at me shyly. We'd hung out a few times when I'd visited Andrew at house shows. She'd always been cool with me.
"Hi Kat."
"Torrie."
"Is that her?" Rolana asks me in French while Stacy heads into a stall.
"Yeah," I answer in kind.
"He's an idiot. At least you have tits," she mutters.
I laugh as Stacy comes out. She eyes me critically and rearranges her ass in what little skirt she has on.
"Damn, look at that skirt," she tells Torrie snidely, "I'd get two pairs of pants from that."
"Oh my God," Ro laughs, still in French, "I think she's supposed to be funny."
"I swear."
In the club, music's blasting and the DJ's switched from salsa to disco. Jason and Adam join us and Adam puts his arm around me.
"You all right?"
"Well, I'm not completely all right but I'll end up being fine somewhere along the way."
"Good. Now dance with me."
Eerily enough, Adam and I hit the dance floor just in time for Gloria Gaynor's I Will Survive. I've always loved that song but tonight, it means something special to me. It means that I will be ok, no matter what happens. And you know what? Saying I will survive doesn't quite fit the bill. Andrew can try to survive without me. I don't care. But me, I'll do him one better: I will thrive.