Disclaimer: Don’t own them but the dolls will soon be mine. Oh yeah, the intellectual concept is mine too.
Distribution: My site, the WWF_DivaSlash site when it’s up.
Notes: More of Single. Chyna questions life.
The ride to the hotel had been a quiet one. Molly sat up in the front seat next to Test and Chyna had taken a seat behind the woman she loved, pressing her head against the window, letting her tears mix with the condensation on the window. Back in the hotel room, she’d made a beeline for the bathroom, locking the door after her. Taking a bottle of medication out of her jacket pocket, she set it down on the rim of the tub and proceeded to strip down to nothing as she let the tub fill itself with lukewarm water.
“Are you OK in there?!” came Molly’s voice.
“Yeah. I’m just going to take a warm bath. I’ll be fine.”
“Chyna,” Molly’s voice came through as nothing more than a whisper, “would you tell me if you weren’t OK?”
“Probably not.”
“Open the door Chy,” Molly said.
Filling the hotel-issue glass with cold water, Chyna set it down next to the prescription bottle and stepped into the tub, barely noticing how water sloshed over the side. She sunk down into the water, letting it wet her long hair, enveloping her with its warmth.
“Chyna?” It was Test this time.
“Which part of LEAVE ME ALONE don’t you people understand? LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!”
“Chyna,” Molly again, “we’re just worried about you.”
“Don’t worry about me! I’m fine. Now, can I finish my bath?”
“Yeah.”
Outside the door, Molly looked up at Test and they both shook their heads.
“What happened?” Molly asked.
“What are you talking about?”
“You came to get her and then she comes back, her hand all bandaged up. And yet, it’s not you she’s mad at.”
Test swallowed hard. Molly grabbed his arm and pulled him down until their faces were at a level.
“Cough it up big boy.”
“Uh…”
“Test, you know something. Now tell me what.”
The Canadian Blonde looked down at the little Holly and sighed. He led her to a couch and pushed her into a seat. But he didn’t sit next to her. He paced in front of her, running his hands through his hair and pausing a few times, looking down at her expectant face, opening his mouth to speak, and then closing it again, unable to find the words.
“Tell me already!” Molly said.
“Tori’s cheating on you,” he blurted out without finesse.
“Excuse me?”
“Well, if she isn’t already, she’s been looking into it.”
“What the hell are you talking about? She loves me!”
“She offered herself to me, Raven, Austin and Hunter. Those are the guys that I know of.”
“You must have been mistaken.”
“Molly…”
“She wouldn’t do that to me,” she whispered stubbornly, oblivious to the tears filling her eyes.
“She is doing that to you.”
“You must have misunderstood… yeah, that’s it. You misunderstood.”
“I didn’t misunderstand Molly,” Test whispered, sitting down next to her and putting her hand in his huge ones.
“You must have. Tell me what she said. Exactly.”
“Molly…”
“Tell me!”
“She told me she was going to be in New York next week and she invited me to join her. I wouldn’t have to rent a room or bring clothes. She had plans to keep me naked and in her room all week long.”
“You are lying!” Molly screamed, slapping Test’s face as hard as she could. “She didn’t say that!”
“She offered it to me, Raven and Austin and Hunter,” he repeated, “and last I heard, Steve was going to take her up on it.”
Molly stared at Test and she collapsed on the couch, wrapping her arms around her middle. Test gathered her into his arms and laid a gentle kiss on the back of her neck and held on to her as she cried.
Chyna sat in the tub, looking at the painkillers she’d set up in a military row on the side of the tub. She’d counted them. There were twenty-seven. The sticker on the bottle said thirty. She’d taken two at the arena and one had fallen in the tub. It had dissolved on her thigh. She could still see the white residue on her skin. Her eyes then went to the tall glass of water next to her hand. Yeah, if she chugged them six or eight at a time, she wouldn’t even need a refill.
And she filled her hand with the first pills. Chyna counted them. Seven. She smiled at the irony. Would painkillers be the tool to truly end her pain? She prayed it would be so. She started humming a song. It was something by Cher… she remembered the title… Heart of Stone. Mercy, mercy, she sang as she unwound the bandage from her damaged hand, Wish your heart was a heart of stone / (With a heart of stone, you'll be well protected) / Don’t you sometimes / Wish your heart was made of stone / (With a heart of stone, you'll be well connected).
Oh yeah, Chyna thought. With a heart of stone, it’d all roll off my back. I wouldn’t have to wonder the real reason why Hunter’d left me. I wouldn’t have to wonder why Molly doesn’t want me that way. It’d be so much easier. Not half as much pain. And I wouldn’t be sitting here with a bunch of pills in my hands about to--
“Chyna! Get out here!”
“What the fuck do you want from me? I am tired and I fucking need to relax, do you think you could let me do that?”
“Molly needs you.”
Those simple words, words she’d been dying to hear and Chyna jumped out of the tub, dropping the pills and wrapping her body into a robe. In the few seconds it took her to wipe her wet feet, she realized that she would never be able to take her own life. That act required a total lack of self-esteem and love and through all the heartache, Chyna had always loved herself. Even when no one loves me back. She swung the door open and came face to face with Test.
“What the fuck were you doing in there?” he asked, looking over her shoulder. He saw the pills on the edge of the tub and he grabbed her arm. “Tell me you weren’t…”
“I’m not right now, am I?”
“I’m serious Chyna.”
“So am I. And I’m still alive. So that should tell you all you need to know.”
“Did you take any of the pills?”
“No.”
“Should I believe you?”
With a shrug, Chyna snatched back her arm and went to Molly. She eased her back into a sitting position and made her look into her eyes.
“Tell me.”
“He told me… That T-T-Tori was-- going to cheat on m-m-me.”
“I know…”
“What do you mean, you know?”
“That’s why I punched in that mirror. I was so mad at her.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I don’t know, a bit scared I guess.”
“Of what?”
“You might have not believed me.”
“Why wouldn’t I believe you?”
“You might think I was just jealous.”
“But you wouldn’t lie to me like that.”
“Don’t be so sure.”
“I am.”
“Molly, if it meant a shot at being with you, I can’t guarantee I’d always be noble.”
“But you wouldn’t lie to me like she did.”
Chyna sighed as Molly put her head down on her lap. Yes I would, she told herself, and it’d be worse because you wouldn’t expect it from me.
Across the room, Test watched them and sighed. Hopefully, someday soon, Molly would see that Chyna could really make her happy.
Upon waking, Chyna’s heart fell when she saw that Molly’s side of the bed was empty. Nothing had happened beyond hand holding but as little as that had been, it had given her sweet and soothing dreams. She sat up and saw Test on the couch, reading a magazine.
“Morning,” she told him, running a hand through her hair.
“Hey. And before you ask, Molly went downstairs to have breakfast with her cousins.”
“I wasn’t going to ask,” Chyna lied.
“Liar. Get dressed, we were invited to join them.”
With the first smile she’d felt in months, Chyna walked into the hotel dining room with Test. First thing she saw was Raven.
“Let’s get out of here,” he said, grabbing her arm and spinning her around so fast her hunger made her dizzy.
“What?”
“Food sucks. I saw a Denny’s not too far. It’s on me.”
“What’s your problem?” Chyna laughed, moving past him and scanning the room for Molly.
She was there, sitting next to Crash, facing Bob, both men tearing into their breakfasts. Tori was on Molly’s left, talking to her intently while massaging the blonde’s neck. And Molly was smiling at her, actually smiling at her. She had fallen for her lies.
Chyna turned on her heels and smiled at Test and Raven.
“Denny’s, you said? On you? Sounds just right.”
“Let’s go,” Raven said, leading the way.
“You OK?” Test asked her.
Taking a deep breathy Chyna looked up at him and smiled, rolling her tongue for her best Cher impression.
“Wish your heart was a heart of stone / (With a heart of stone, you’ll be well protected) / Don’t you sometimes / Wish your heart was made of stone / (With a heart of stone, you’ll be well connected).”
“Heart of Stone? Think that’ll help?”
“It’s my new motto. It’ll help,” Chyna said with a last look to Molly and Tori. “It has to…”