Every day, I sit at my desk, listening to dumbasses who want free cells,
free service, free everything and my patience wears thinner and thinner...
but the motto is, never let them see you sweat so I smile through all of
it... I pretend my feelings aren't hurt when they call me names because I
won't give their non-paying asses free caller ID just because their best
friend, who happens to pay his damn bills, got free caller ID for a year.
And then, I have to go out there, in the cold, minus fucking thirteen
degrees Celsius, minus twenty-six with the blessed wind chill factor, and
wait for the damn bus. My cheeks are so cold that they burn and my gloves?
The ones I loved last year? Well, the wool's all stretched out from usage
and the tips of my fingers are numb from the cold. But I put up with it...
why? Cause it's what I do, I'm the world's putter upper.
And through all of my shit, I survive, and I make it through, on the off
chance that I might see you again.
One time, I was in Montreal, and I had to pay my cell phone bill because
it was this close to getting disconnected... Hey, it's not that I don't
have the money, it's just that I didn't let them know I'd moved and I
wasn't getting my bill. So I went into the Montreal office, which were,
thankfully close to the airport, intending to pay the whole thing.
When I saw the line at the counter, I almost got discouraged but then,
the tall black girl behind the counter smiled at me and I didn't want to
rush out anymore. It wasn't the most picture perfect smile I'd ever seen
but it was nice and warm. She had nice teeth, not one of those whiter than
white jobs, straight and her full lips didn't seem to droop under the
thick lipstick. Instead, they were just a little pink... nice, you know.
I couldn't not notice him... I mean, he filled the whole entrance... and
I knew who he was right away. I didn't look at him right away... I was
afraid my jaw would drop and I'd forget how to say my name. I immediately
felt the cold trickle of sweat running down my back under my turtleneck.
But I did feel his frustration when he saw the long line. I smiled at
him and felt so bad... after all, it was kind of my fault. I was helping
the office for a day. I usually worked upstairs, hiding behind the safety
of my computer and my phone. I was slowing down the process. I smiled at
him. And he stayed.
Finally, after fifteen minutes, he was the only one left and Beth, the
other girl at the counter, told me she was going for lunch. She left me
her pager number in case of an emergency and I turned to him, smiling.
"How can I help you?"
"Run away with me."
What the fuck did I say that for? I frightened the hell out of her. But
then she laughs and winks at me.
"I finish at six. Pick me up in front."
"Will do."
"Now, what can I do, cell phone and pager wise?"
"No pager. I just have to pay off my cell phone bill before you guys
disconnect me."
"All right. That I can do. Will you be paying through credit card, cash
or check?"
"Credit card."
I stood there, looking down at her, her smile. Then she raised her
eyebrows ever so slightly.
"I need the credit card."
I felt like the world's greatest idiot.
I took his credit card and our fingers brushed slightly. Thank God I was
kind of leaning on the counter or I would have keeled over. The thin
trickle of sweat that started running down my back became now a
full-fledged river. I processed his payment quickly and handed the card
back to him.
"There. You're paid up and we won't disconnect you."
"Good. Thank you."
"No, thank you for coming in. Now, how's your service? The cell phone's
all right?"
Why did I ask him that again? Oh yeah... I wanted him to stay here
forever.
"Actually, yeah. I'm getting a lot of static." What a lie that had been.
My phone was great but I wanted to stay there, listen to her.
"Really. Let me see it."
I pulled the phone out and showed it to her. She nodded right away.
"The Nokia 6185. It's not a bad phone, but for optimum performance, I
recommend a Samsung. You use it in the US a lot?"
"Yes."
"Then I'd go with a 2530, or even a 3530... or the new one, the T130."
"Really?"
She lead me to a display case and I did the male thing, checked out her
ass.
Shit! I was such an idiot... I made him follow me... he saw my fat ass!
Oh well... there went the hopes of making a good impression. But I kept up
my stupid chatter about the phones. Too late now... he'd seen the great
black ass... I couldn't make him unsee it.
I was almost done when his cell rang. Damn cell phones! Hated the damn
things! He smiled apologetically and picked up.
"Yeah? Adam? I'm close by... I'll be there in 20 minutes. No, I'm not
going to miss the plane... fuck you... you fuckin' idiot! Catch you in a
few."
He was leaving. I wanted to cry...
Her face changed as I spoke to Adam. It looked weird. Maybe she was
relieved. Maybe she wanted me to get out of here.
"Thanks for the information, but I have a plane to catch."
"I heard. Listen, here," she said, handing me a circular. "Look it over
and next time you're in Canada, just go into a Bell World store and pick
up a new one, ok?"
"That's cool. Thanks."
"No problem."
And I walked out.
That had been a month ago. Every chance I got, I checked out his file... kept an eye on his account... I had access to so much information... but I'd never use it... That's the kind of person I am... no matter how much I want to call him, I'd never do it. So... the day was getting shittier and shittier when a car almost cut me off while I was crossing the street to get to the bus stop in front of work. I flipped the unseen driver the bird, with both hands à la Stone Cold, and ran into the cabin that barely kept the wind out and proceeded to count all the reasons why I didn't like the world and why I knew I would never see him again.
For some reason, I managed to get Vince to give me a day off in the middle of the week. And I flew to Montreal. Got there like ten minutes before six to pay my bill and she wasn't there. I hadn't thought about that... I hadn't thought about her not being there... shit! I paid my bill and walked out, calling myself ten thousand kinds of an idiot... maybe she didn't work there anymore, maybe she left early. Damn me and my fucking luck. I guess I wasn't paying much attention to the road cause I almost mowed this girl down. But she didn't wait to give me a piece of her mind. Flipped me the bird with both hands, kind of like Steve and she walked into the tiny bus stop. Damn it! What the fuck did I care anymore, specially when I knew I would never see her again?
Artist: Lenny Kravitz
Album: Greatest Hits
Title: Again
I've been searching for you
I heard a cry within my soul
I've never had a yearning quite like this before
Know that you are walking right through my door
All of my life
Where have you been
I wonder if I'll ever see you again
And if that day comes
I know we could win
I wonder if I'll ever see you again
A sacred gift of heaven
For better worse, wherever
And I would never let somebody break you down
Until you cried, never
All of my life
Where have you been
I wonder if I'll ever see you again
And if that day comes
I know we could win
I wonder if I'll ever see you again
At every time I've always known
That you where there, upon your throne
A lonely queen without her king
I longed for you, my love forever
All of my life
Where have you been
I wonder if I'll ever see you again
And if that day comes
I know we could win
I wonder if I'll ever see you again
All of my life
Where have you been
I wonder if I'll ever see you again
And if that day comes
I know we could win
I wonder if I'll ever see you again
All of my life
Where have you been
I wonder if I'll ever see you again
And if that day comes
I know we could win
I wonder if I'll ever see you again
I wonder if I'll ever see you again
I wonder if I'll ever see you again
I wonder if I'll ever see you again
I wonder if I'll ever see you again
I wonder if I'll ever see you again
I wonder if I'll ever see you again
I wonder if I'll ever see you again