Disclaimer: Don't own 'em, don't sue me.
Distribution: My site and Tango's.
Rating: PG
Content: Some language, reference to f/f relationship.
Summary: Sequel to Girlfriend, The Morning After, The Insecure One,
Outted, Nothing Beats That, It Begins, The Date, The Second Date and The
Fight. Kat finds a friend.
I leave the table and the dining room, my breakfast untouched.
"I saw a McDonalds not too far," Jeff tells me, coming up behind me.
"That sounds like a pretty good idea."
So that's how come I end up sitting in a McDonals, munching on a sausage
McMuffin, no egg, while Jeff wolfs down more of the same, actually two, with egg, in front of me.
"Dayum, that was good."
"You're a little pig," I inform him, handing him a napkin.
"I'm cuter."
"You're more vain."
"Yep. So-- wanna talk about what's bugging you?"
I sigh. "It's just... I don't know... I feel like I'm the only one making
an effort sometimes. It's like I'm listening to her music, going to her
clubs... I'm the sore thumb of the group, Jeff."
"You are not."
"I am. I'm Canadian..."
"So are Adam, Jason and Andrew."
"I'm a woman..."
"Nora and Amy."
"I'm Black."
"That's not a problem Kat."
"I know, you guys don't care. But it's just one more way I'm different.
That and my taste in music. I like the Backstreet Boys and you guys are
into Motorhead, whatever that is."
"So what?"
"We're too different Jeff. She lives in one world and I live in another.
We work together, but that's it. That's all of it."
"You love each other."
"I love her Jeff. She never told me herself. I mean, I don't know if she
really loves me back."
"She does."
"I don't know Jeff. I just don't know. And what she said to me last night.
That was horrible. And I was just dancing. Dancing Jeff. I wasn't doing
anything but that."
"I know. It's just-- I don't know why she said that to you."
"Me too. But she said it. Which means there must be some kennel of truth
to it."
"Come on Kat, don't give me that shit."
"I don't know Jeff. I just don't know."
"What did you expect? Something cool and easy?"
"Yeah, I guess."
"Trust me. Dumas never does anything easy."
"Great."
"Listen, how's this? The Backstreet Boys I'm not big on, but how about you
and I go out tonight? Just you and me and we find a place that plays some
good dance music and we let loose."
"Jeff, that's very sweet and for once, I'm going to be selfish and I'm not
going to say no."
Because of the injury, I'm not scheduled to be on TV so I hang out with
Adam and Jason until Jeff comes for me.
"You ready to go?"
"Yep."
"Where are you guys going?" Jason asks me.
"To dance the night away," I explain.
"You sure about this?"
"I need to put my mind on hold for a couple of hours boys. Just forget
everything."
"All right. Just tell us which club in case we get bored."
Jeff hands them the flyer and pulls me out behind him. When we get there,
the club is literally jumping. It's packed with people and as soon as we
hand in our coats, we hit the dance floor. The bass throbs along with my
heart beat and I let my body move. I close my eyes and I forget. I live in
the lyrics, in the magic of the music and I float away to a different
place of existence where I'm not Kat, where I don't love Amy, where I
belong, where I'm nothing more than music made woman.
Every once in a while, I open my eyes a bit and I see Jeff in front of me,
lost much like I am. We dance until last call and twenty minutes later, I
stumble into my hotel room, only to find Amy curled up on the bed, still
dressed. I head for the shower, sobering immediately. I dress for bed and
then I sit next to her. This hasn't been easy on her and tonight, she's
been crying.
I reach out and touch her hair, so soft. Her eyes blink open and she
focuses on me. They look greener than usual.
"You're back."
Her voice is hoarse, like she's been yelling. Or crying.
"I'm back. I didn't expect to see you here."
"I wanted to talk to you."
"Amy..."
"Kat... I love you. See, I can say it now."
I want to kiss her and slap her at the same time. God give me the
patience.
"Saying you love me is not a cure-all Amy. And the fact that you're saying
it now, after hurting me like you did last night-- it doesn't make it
better."
"Why not? I mean, what do I have to do to make you forgive me? I'm willing
to do anything."
"There isn't much for you to say or do Amy. Not right now anyhow. I'm too
hurt to know how you could fix it."
"I wish I could take it all back," she whispers, sitting up, her hair a
mess.
"I don't. You told me the truth last night."
"No. Last night, I was angry and I was spewing venom. Doesn't mean it was
true."
"Listen Amy, right now, I'm dead tired and I can't deal with this."
"Can I at least sleep here tonight? With you?"
"On one condition."
"Whatever you want."
When Jeff lays out in the bed between us, his arms around me, I know Amy
didn't expect this. Jeff, however, takes it all in stride. It's good to be
in someone's arms, it's good to be in the same bed as Amy but being in her
arms, in bed? That's more than I can deal with right now.
"Can I ask something though?" Amy says from her side of the bed.
"Yes."
"Why him? Why not Adam or Jason or both?"
"Because they were both my lovers and being in bed with two or three of my
lovers would have been too strange. Jeff is my friend."
And that's what I need right now, a friend. More than a lover, I need a friend.