Damn it! She was smiling there for a good part of the day and then with a
careless word, I brought Mom to mind and she seems sad for a moment. I
swear to God, if that old biddy wasn't my mother. I sigh and smile.
"I like it. but I'm sure we can find you that screams CARM a little
louder."
"We can?"
"Yeah, a friend of mine, Alan, is a designer. His stuff is a bit out there
but I'm sure he can cook you up something absolutely wonderful."
"Really?"
"Oh yes. Let's dump this place. He's at his studio right now and I know
for a fact that he'll bump any of his clients for moi."
"What are you to him?" the kid asks me, her eyes narrowing on me.
I wink at her and nod at her to go change. While she's in there, I pull
out my cell and give Alan a call.
"Chéri," I say the moment he picks up, "I have a challenge for you!"
"You want me to prove to you that your delicious hubby is gay after all?"
"Bite your tongue."
"What then?"
"My sister's getting married."
"Good for her. Am I invited?"
"Depends. She needs a dress... something beautiful and that fits her
personality. And you wanna hear the kicker?"
"Hit me."
"Her fiancé is paying for it, right? And his orders are clear: she's to
spare NO expense."
"Carte blanche?" Alan asks me. I can feel him get excited.
"Yes... and if I like what you have in store for her, I might allow you to
design my matron of honor gown."
"Are you serious?"
"Yes. Two commissions and this wedding is going to have a good profile. If
it's covered, you can bet I'll make sure they know our dresses were made
by none other than you."
"How soon can you get here?"
"We're on our way."
"So?" Carm asks as she comes out of the dressing room.
"We're in."
"You never answered my question," she says while I drive us to Alan's
studio. "What is this Alan guy to you?"
"Why?"
"Kat..."
"You know how I used to hang out at gay clubs when we used to live in
Montreal?"
"Back when Mom thought you were a lesbian?"
"Yeah," I chuckle, "that's when I met Alan... we used to do... certain things
for each other."
"You had sex with a gay man?"
"Well... but let's just say we took care of each other's itches."
"Who are you?" she asks me with a smile. "I mean... sex with a gay man?"
"He thought he was bi. I wanted to convince him."
"Does Jean-Claude know?"
"What am I? Crazy? Of course not! And he's better off not knowing. I just
want to warn you, Alan and I are very touchy feely... but there's nothing to
it."
Although I warn her, I wonder if the kid's going to be ready for how
touchy feely Alan and I are. I'm not cheating on Jean-Claude... after all,
he gets to have pretend sex with women in his movies all the time and
they're all hot for him. Alan and I flirt outrageously but now that he
kicked open the closet door, I know he'd die before approaching me
sexually again.
This is nothing new to me. Trust me, living in California, I've run across
my fair share of gay men and... actually, they're kind of fun. I just love
to take them shopping with me. One guy, Tony, actually helped me pick out
my outfits to wear on camera. So... I figure Alan can help me with the
dress.
We walk into his studio and the first thing he does is give my sister this
deep ass kiss. I just look at her cause she really looks into it, then
when she stands back up, she's laughing and so is he... If that's touchy
feely, I'd hate to see what he does when he's really into someone. Whoever
his current boyfriend is, though, is definitely a lucky man. It never
ceases to amaze how many hot gay men there are and how few hot straight
men there are. I guess I lucked up with Rob. He's one of those few and far
between.
Anyway... amidst the playing and the touching and the feeling and the other
bits of PDAs that I have grown to despise over the years, we manage to
come up with exactly what I want. I may not want traditional but... I at
least want it to resemble a wedding dress. And this definitely does that.
The length is good. The material... completely satin with a lace overlay.
And it shows just enough cleavage to have Robbie gasping for breath when
he gets to see it. And ya know... it's like I always say. Sleeves are highly
overrated in a wedding dress. I know another thing Momma's gonna bitch
about: my tattoos. So what if the dress show's all of them off. Proper my
ass. I spent good money on these things and I want them seen. So. it's not
like she'll come anyway so. who cares.
The price makes me gasp just slightly until I quickly realize. Hey! I can
afford this! Once that thought pops up, it's all good. It's nice to be
able to go all spend thrifty and actually be able to afford to do it. I
really did meet the perfect man, huh? He's hot, he's paid and he gives me
whatever I want. Cool.
"So?" Jean-Claude asks me when I get home, "how did the shopping
expedition go?"
"Fairly well. Alan is designing Carm's dress and my maid of honor gown."
"Alan?"
Jean-Claude tenses up right away and I try not to sigh. He's not overly
fond of Alan. That might be because the first time he saw me and Alan
together, my little gay buddy stuck his tongue so far down my throat that
I swear he was trying to feel my navel from the inside.
"Oh please," I say, rubbing myself against him from behind as he tears
lettuce apart for dinner, "Alan's gay."
"Then why does he get off on fondling my wife every chance he gets?"
"Because he gets off on shocking the hell out of people. Especially you."
"Perverted freak!"
"Jean-Claude, Alan's one of my best friends."
"So what? Chérie, the man can't be gay!"
Now when my hubby gets upset, he lapses into French. Thank God I
understand the language and speak it because let me tell you, he
speed-talks when he's upset.
"You've met his boyfriends."
"And you've slept with him before," he replies my hubby, chopping up red
peppers with a vengeance.
That piece of red pepper I'd stolen from his chopping board? Yeah well, I
almost choked on it. How the hell did he know about that?
"He told me about it in passing," he explains, mixing the lettuce and
peppers together.
"I'll kill him!"
"Why didn't you ever tell me about the two of you?"
"It was a long time before us. You didn't tell me about all of your
women."
"I don't kiss my other women in your face like you do with Alan."
"Jean-Claude," I whisper, spinning him around so he faces me. "I could
spend an hour making out with Alan, and I'd be completely dry. but I spend
a second, just looking at you and I forget how to say no."
"So you don't love Alan?" he asks, a childishly poutish smile on his lips.
"As a friend, nothing more. You... you're different," I explain, running a
tongue along his jaw.
"Different how?" he asks, running his hands down my hips to my ass.
"Well, I could fuck you for days on end and I'd be perfectly happy."
"How happy?"
"Very happy," I whisper, running a hand down the front of his pants.
Later, we're lying in bed, our room stinks of sex, which is perfectly fine
with me, and him, when he asks me a loaded question: "So you like this Rob
guy of Carm's?"
"Her fiancé? Yeah, I like him. He's a decent guy and he loves her. Why?
Don't you?"
"He's all right, I guess."
"But?"
"I don't know. I get a weird vibe from him."
"That couldn't be because his stage name is Rob Van Dam, Mr. Jean-Claude
Van Damme?"
"Kat, I came up with that name."
"Sure Mr. Van Varenberg. What's your problem with Rob anyhow?"
"I don't know."
"You know, you guys do look a lot alike."
"What are you saying?"
"Me? Nothing?"
But my mind is working furiously. I got an idea... and I got to talk to Carm
about it in the morning.
Definitely an interesting conversation we have when my sister calls. And
it's all things that I've been thinking about. There are a lot of
similarities between our men, that's for damn sure. And a lot of
coincidences, too.
"They look just alike, Carm," she tells me. "Well... not just alike but...
like brothers at least."
"I know. And the hair... the eyes... hell, even the mouth are the same."
"And they were both adopted."
"It's like a twenty year gap, though."
"Yeah, so? Who says parents ever want kids?"
"True... but... Okay," I sigh. "Now, ya know I don't particularly care for
your husband's choice of languages, but... he does have certain good
qualities. One in particular he shares with Robbie."
"And that would be?"
"His ass!"
"Hey! You've been checkin' out my man's ass!"
"You can't help but! He walks away and. damn nice view."
"Yeah, I know. It does." I hear her getting all dreamy and I can almost
see the look on her face.
"Ugh. Stop daydreaming."
"I'm not! I'm... remembering."
"Whatever. Just... stop it."
"Yeah, yeah. So, where is your lover boy?"
"He's at the gym. He likes to go early. He's one of those unfortunate
morning people."
"You should get up earlier, you know. It's not good to laze the day away."
"Anyway. I don't laze. I just prefer not to wake up any earlier than I
have to." I stop for a minute and think. "What do we do about them?"
"I don't know. But... with their attitudes toward each other, you know
they'll just deny it."
"Oh, of course. But... hum... maybe we can find something out. It's just TOO
coincidental."
"Yeah, I know. But what do we do?"
"Didn't I ask you that already?" I swear, she was the older one, right?
That meant she was supposed to know what to do, right? Wrong. When would I
learn?
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