They made me sick
Just a few words
A few careless words
And they made me sick
I do not know
If they were intentional,
A message to me
A warning to keep my distances
Or maybe it was a reminder
A way of reminding me
That I will not get what I want
That I do not have a place here
I thought I was over it
I wanted it to be in the past
I wanted to forget all of it
I wanted to put it all behind me
I even had someone else
I thought that could be it
I thought I would be free
And a few words re-imprisoned me
But now, I wonder and fear
For my sanity
For my sense of self
And I despair.
He's there
Waiting for me, wanting me
Will I give him up for the dream that will never happen?
Oh, how I make me sick...
But what if, just what if
The words were careless
Just innocent niceties,
A sign of friendship
My fears would have resurfaced for nothing
I would have myself sick for no reason
The thought of that succeeds only
In making me feel more sick...
Written on March 25th, 2001