As John McMackey enters his house he notices that the front door is ajar.

Curious he walks in but just can't resist shouting.

John- "Honey, I'm home."

As he walks further into the house, Theres canned laughter heard.

John walks into the livingroom where finds his wife and kids hanging from the ceiling from hooks.

John- "Oh my god, god....Timmy...Sarah....Honey."

He bows his head a second, wipes the tears from his eyes then takes out a tape recorder.

John- "Memo to self, cancel ball game with Timmy."

John then turns to his deceased wife, takes off her shoes then starts licking her feet.

John- "If only i knew who.... WHO DAMMIT?!?! WWWWHHHHOOOO?!?!"

He started shouting at her, then when no reply came he got angry.

John- "So you're going to ignore me, its about that woman, isn't it? She didn't mean anything, I came back for as much as I did for the kids. Just tell me who?!?!"

Again no reply came so John ripped his beloved off the hook. As he did this, her blood sprayed from her neck and coated almost everything in the room. As John was beating up his wife a man walked into the room behind him.

(Immagine Teds voice as that from Max Payne Himself.)

MilitaryTed- "Hello John, ye wanna hang with the fam? Oh and before I forget sarah had a message for you."

As Ted spoke, he spoke in a Mall brat voice.

Ted- "Like oh my gawd, I will like never get these blood stains out and these colours like totally clash. I am like a total fashion disaster, I wouldn't be seen dead in clothes like this. I wonder if the malls open."

Ted spoke again.

Ted- "So ya wanna? You could share your wifes hook cause I'm gonna have to put her back up or you could have one of your own."

John- "Yeah sorry about that, she just makes me so angry sometimes. I'll have one of my own."

John walks up to Ted and put his arm round Ted's shoulder.

John- "I had to share my bed with that women, I don't wanna share my hook with her."

Ted- "Don't worry about it, you've got the kids as well, it's understandable."

John- "And ya know what they say 'A man's hook is a man's hook'. Eh? Eh?"

As the two laugh, Ted then says.

Ted- "You know your an okay person. I'll tell you what...I don't have to kill you right away, You wanna have a beer and we could watch the game?"

John- "Yeah that'd be great."

The two sit down on the sofa with beers in their hands but a problem arose: Timmy's head was in Teds view of the TV.

Ted- "Ehh, hate to be a bother John, but would you mind askin your son out of the way. I can't see."

John- "No problem Ted, Timmy what have told you. Get your head out of the way when we have visitors. Jesus Christ, TIMMY I am your father and you wil-"

Ted interupted him.

Ted- "Ahhh John, you gotta teach your kids discipline or they'll just walk all over ya."

John- " Tell me about it, so Ted what would you do? I don't have my badge but I'm a father in training"

Ted- "It's okay, don't feel bad. It won't matter for much longer. I would do the following."

Ted took out a sawen off shot gun, aims it at Timmy's head and blows it off.

Ted- "See John, just lock and load."

John- "Ahhh, Shame you have to kill me."

Ted- "I know, you seem like a real nice person but the voices would never let me live it down."

John- "So how did ya get in. Not that your not welcome. Cause you're always welcome in my home."

Ted- "Oh, I pretended to be a door to door sexual educator. And that I was going to teach your son and daughter about it. And then I taught it to your wife. But don't worry I asked her permission first."

John- "Ted you are a king among kings. What did she say?"

Ted- "Well, she said no at first then when I said I would not have sex with her children, she said yes. The best part... I wasn't even planning to fuck her kids."

John- "Did she squeal? I bet she did."

Ted- "Yeah, she did."

As the two laughed, Ted said.

Ted- "Hate to bring it up, but I'll have to go soon."

John- "Oh, thats okay. I was just wondering if you could make it quick."

Ted- "Sure, stand up."

As John stood up, Ted swiped upwards with the hook and put it through John's neck. Ted then stuck John to the ceiling.

John- "Would you hurry up and make it fast?"

Ted- "There's no need to be cheeky so just, you know what, just grow a set of balls."

Ted then leaves the house as John hangs there gasping for breath. He then walks down the path, along the footpath and up the driveway of the next house. He knocks the door and a old woman answers.

Old woman- "Hello?"

Ted- "Hi, I'm not trying to sell anything. I just wanna show your kids how to have sex."

Old woman- "There's only my self and my three daughters here. But they're all in their twenties now."

Ted- "All the better ma'am, you can never know enough about sex. Are they sexy?"

Old women- "What?"

Ted- "Never mind, I'll hook you first."

TO BE CONTINUED...