The
crowd hastily anticipates the next feature of the packed full 4WF Consequences
Pay Per View. The low humming of conversation suddenly turns into a huge mix of
cheers and boos, as World War 3 hits the arena speakers, bellowing out to every
ear in the arena, and preceeding the arrival of the Impakt Ikonz. The crowd near
the Titantron stretch their heads to see which Ikonz will be coming down, and
after the music plays for about 5 seconds, the trio of Makaveli the Don,
Impaler, and Apocalypse come down slowly to the aisle. All three wearing
serious faces, obviously a bit disgruntled at something or over.
Bret:
Yay! Walking along….singing a song…..walking in an Ikonz wonderland……
Kave:
Oh shut up. These three aren’t booked into the match, what the hell are they
doing here?
As
Apoc and Impaler roll into the ring, Makaveli hands the ring announcer, Tony
Jordan, some notes, and then Tony Jordan gets ready to speak.
Tony
Jordan: Now in the ring, weighing a combined weight of ..er…quite a bit
really..we have Impaler, the true World Champion, Makaveli The Don, the true
Supreme champion, and Apocalypse, the true cruiserweight champion.
Kave:
Hahah, yeah right
Bret:
What you on about? Tony Jordan is the official 4wf announcer…he speaks the
truth! We have 3 champions in the ring right there.
Kave
strokes his chin, while Apoc grabs the mic, and watches Makaveli roll into the
ring, and then proceeds to talk.
Apoc:
Look…before we start…I just need to get something out of the way. We are
designed to make you lot boo, so I guess I’ll have to say something
boo-worthy. So here goes. You lot stink of poo!!
The
crowd boo intensely at Apoc, as Apoc throws the mic over to Makaveli.
Makaveli:
Like my man Tony Jordan says, the man on the mic now is the SUPREME champion of
the 4wf except er…I haven’t got the belt. But what’s a belt anyway? A
material thing; Wotto maybe the Supreme champion, but in everyone’s mind, I am
the true Supreme masta of the world!!! Consequences Smonsequences.. it’s
Deathrow where I make my mark…Because all you smelly fans now that me,
Makaveli, is the best wrestler…..ever! And I will be the first to lead the
Ikonz to greatness when I win the Supreme championship
The
crowd do the boo thing, as Makaveli hands his mic over to Impaler, who then
begins to talk.
Impaler:
You know, people…tonight, you will watch a match with love handles and skirts
galore. The love handles being provided by the lovely Belly, and the skirts
being supplied by the sadistic twatmaster EWM. Look at these two people..and
then realise, that they are two people challenging for the highest accolade in
this sport; the 4WF World championship.
Notice something wrong? Yes, the two most pitiful wrestlers in the
business are the two highest. “Oh my god!” I hear you cry. “Who will save
us from this fate worse than death?” Well, my adoring fans, I seen the
opportunity to right the wrongs of the world division, and announced that I am
the new number 1 contender for the belt! Just call me Superimp, as that’s what
I am.
Impaler
bows, as the crowd begin to boo. Makaveli and Apocalypse tell the crowd to shut
up frantically.
Impaler:
Are these people booing me?
Apoc:
Nah…they’re booing…erm…..Kave
The
camera quickly switches to the commentating table.
Kave:
What is he talking about??
The
camera switches back to Imp, who then passes the mic over to Apoc, who gazes at
the Cruiserweight title in his hands, and then begins to talk calmly.
Apoc:
No offense to my colleagues, Impaler, and fellow Master Of The Game, Makaveli
the Don, but after all the talk of World belts and Supreme belts, I’m sure you
lot are getting bored, Well, as usual, I will save the day. I will talk about
the bigger things in the 4wf…..namely…..my cruiserweight belt!!
The
crowd begin to boo. They are an original lot, aren’t they.
Kave:
These fans certainly not liking Apoc or any of the Ikonz for that matter.
Bret:
Pff….these fans all smell of poo!
Kave:
Are you just saying that so you can one day become an Ikon?
Bret:……maybe…..
Apoc:
Look…to show that I am a true fighting champion…and also because I do not
have a match at this event, I would like to give a cruiserweight hopeful a shot
at my belt this evening! Before you go mental cheering for the opportunity to be
closer to me, I will be choosing completely at random.
The
crowd begin cheering to get in the ring and get on television, but Apoc points
to a man, about 18 years old, who shouts loudly, and gets his back patted by his
friends, he rushes into the ring, but Apoc quickly stops him.
Apoc:
Ah ah ah! We have to do the one cruiserweight thing before we do……it’s the
scales!
Apoc
then breaks into song.
Apoc:
Scales in the morning, scales in the evening yeah yeah yeah!!!
Makaveli:
What the hell was that!?!?
Apoc:
I felt a bit sorry for the scales…so I gave them their own theme tune..
Makaveli:
Hahahah! You mentalist!
Apoc:
Just shut it and pass me the scales!
Makaveli
hands Apoc the scales, and Apoc proceeds to place them on the ground.
Man
picked from audience: Yeah!! I’m on tv!! Hi mum!!!
Apoc:
Stand on the bloody scales.
The
man hastily stands on the scales.
Man:
Yeah!! I’m stood on scales on T.V! Hi mum!!!
Apoc:
Shut up……wow look at that…..340 lbs! You should start working out.
Man:
There’s no way!!
Apoc:
Yes way…and I guess I wont have to fight tonight…ho hum.
Man:
What the hell!!!
Apoc:
Just get over it and go!!!!!!!!!!!! You fat twatmaster!!
Man:
I coulda sworn I was 150 lbs this morning…..then again I did have a rather
large portion of chips for dinner….
Impaler:
That’ll be it…now go!
Apoc:
Like Hellfire, a man who we all thought was quite a skinny person until he
turned out to be heavier than Belly, it is proved that nowone can beat me!
Impaler:
People…Deathrow…..the revolution begins!!! Watch out 4wf.