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Suit: ***Clears throat*** Excuse me!!!!! (Room goes dead silent) I'm sure that you all know why we're gathered here this evening, and that is to discuss some recent changes as far as the NFWA product...most importantly this PPV that you've got scheduled for this weekend called "Breaking the Rules". (Kammy raises her hand) Yes?
Kammy: (stands) Actually, it's called "BREAKIN' THE RULZ"...
Suit: SILENCE!!!!!!!
(Kammy gives him a mean look, then takes a seat)
Suit: It doesn't matter what the name is. As a matter of fact, the former CEO's deviation from conventional spelling standards just goes to show how immoral this cesspool of a fed truly is...and I'm not even going to acknowledge the fact that your date for this particular immorality happens to fall on Easter Sunday...a HOLY DAY...if you will. (sneers and rolls his eyes) Now...it should be no shock to you just how Angelfire feels about this company. We find it to be pathetic...rude...and frankly, we believe that it should be closed on the spot. Luckily for all of you...there is some compassion in our hearts, and for the time being, we will allow you pathetic excuses for wrestlers and the heathen fans of the NFWA to have your shows...enjoy yourselves...but under OUR TERMS!!!!! And to enforce our terms here tonight, she is as of now the acting-CEO of the NFWA...she is the Senior Vice President of Angelfire's Internet Relations...she is one of the finest women that I have had the opportunity of meeting! She is one of the classiest, most beautiful human beings ever to walk the face of the earth...call her the Superwoman...the Baddest Chick...but SHOW SOME RESPECT for TINA...MARIE...LAURER!!!! (There's almost a loud groan from the crowd as the suit steps aside. Suddenly, the sound of static can be heard in the background...as the TV screen begins to light up)
(The dining hall lights begin to flicker on and off before going out completely. Suddenly, "Let Me Blow Ya Mind" by Eve and Gwen Stefani begins to play over the loudspeaker, and an image appears on screen. Sitting in a blood red office, at a black desk, with a black and gold name plate with the letters "T.M.L." on the front, her cherry red hair pulled back into a ponytail, wearing a red see-thru blouse with a black bra underneath, a tight red leather skirt with matching stockings and boots, with a sinister smile on her face, is Tina herself. The camera zooms in on the screen as Tina cracks her knuckles, folds her hands on the desk and begins to speak)
Tina: Hello, NFWA. Glad you could all join me here tonight. Now...as you all know, it has been QUITE a week here in the NFWA. I mean...let's take you back to last week, shall we? I mean...it was the night where I, Tina Marie Laurer, made what had to be the single most brilliant move ever when I decided to book two big matches on the Friday Night Slam...the 1st pitting the so-called "Anti-Angelfire Alliance" of Stevo and Ice Cube against one another...and later Lightning and T Money...with Firestorm and myself refereeing those respective matches. Now...as it would turn out, Firestorm did a bang up job in terms of actual refereeing. I mean...I don't think there's anyone in the NFWA that would deny that he enforced the rules like no one in the history of the NFWA before him, and in the end, we found out that ICE CUBE was the better man...hmm, silly me. I didn't mean to say that. No...that didn't come out right at all. What I meant to say is that ICE CUBE proved that he is BETTER than PSYKO STEVO!!! ICE CUBE kicked PSYKO STEVO'S ass!!!! ICE CUBE showed the entire world that the vicious, nasty comments he had been making regarding PSYKO STEVO in the locker room were the truth, when he solidly, absolutely ANNIHILATED PSYKO STEVO...(smiles) only to receive the same treatment from my Firestorm after the match. Not bad at all...but then later that night came the unthinkable! I mean...there I am...all decked out in my Angelfire appropriote referee's attire...mind you, that outfit cost me 5,000 bucks! That's 10 times more than than T Money's and Lightning's houses put together! And there I was...shining like a star in a match with two rulebreakers...two swindlers! And what I did was referee the match to the best of my ability! I called it right down the middle, fair and square!! Thanks to MY superior officiating, that match was on its way to becoming one of, if not THE greatest match in the history of the NFWA...when it happened! Outta nowhere...that heathen...that sick bastard Lightning punches me right in the face!!!! FOR NO REASON AT ALL!!! He hits me!!! Attacks me, and I had done nothing to him, people! Absolutely nothing at all!!! (deep breath) It just goes to show you what type of society we live in with Lightning...a man many of you see as some sort of hero...some good guy...physically and mentally abused me on worldwide television! I mean...(covers her face with her right hand and sniffles) do you realize how traumatic that was for me? How much that hurt me? I mean...I was only trying to do the right thing! To give people a match they can remember...and this is how I'm repaid?! (Pretends to wipe a tear) Now...any normal woman would've just taken something like that and simply laid down! Any normal woman would've run to the back with her tail tucked between her legs! But me?! I'm not a normal woman! I'm THE SUPERWOMAN, DAMN IT! And I came right back! Beat Lightning within an inch of his miserable life...hand him down on his hands and knees...begging me! Begging! "Please Tina...I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry!" That was your hero Lightning! Your 4-time NFWA Champion! BOWING DOWN TO THE GODDESS!!! BOWING DOWN TO ME!!!! But then what happened? Just when I was about to finish him off...out runs this...this...this...(shudders) DIAMOND!!! That Tina wannabe!!! That...WIFE of...of...I will not say his name! He is gone, and he is not coming back! But his damn wife runs down to the ring, attacks me from BEHIND!!!!!! Like a coward and runs!!! (Sniffles) Naturally...being the individual that I am, I wasn't phased at all by Diamond's weak attack. It didn't hurt at all...but it was late night...I'm under the bright spotlights...I was tired...dehydrated...I was also battling the flu, mind you...so I passed out! It had NOTHING to do with Diamond. And while I was unconscious...out came that no good referee Jim Jonathan to count the fall, and T Money won the World Title. Certainly a memorable night last FNS, right?! But it didn't end there.
(Tina picks up a glass of water sitting on her deck, and takes a sip. She sets it back down on the table, crosses her legs, folds her hands and continues
Tina: Now...this past Saturday...as I was making my weekly donation to the poor, I received a call from Dr. Jim Andrews. Some of you may know him as the famous orthopedic surgeon for superstars such as Kevin Nash...Shawn Michaels...the man that worked on Triple H last year! He's one of the best in the biz, no doubt. And last Saturday...he called me up, and what he told you will shock you. It seems...(giggles) It seems that that little beating I gave Lightning on Friday night...well it was worse than all of us thought. It seems that I beat him SOOOOO bad...so viciously that I ended up fracturing a bone in his right knee. (sighs) So sad, so sad. He then went on to tell me about the healing process...about how Lightning would be out action for at least 3-5 weeks and...well...that would mean that he'd hafta miss that big Main Event at the PPV, now wouldn't it? (Snaps her fingers) DARN! Well...because of that injury, Lightning is out of action indefinitely and...Ice Cube is left without a partner. Now, I know how much everyone was looking forward to see this match...how they were looking forward to see 3 tag teams get it on and battle for all the gold here in the NFWA! And as much as I don't wanna deprive the fans a good fight...there's someplace I've gotta draw the line. So as of now...as much as I'd hate to see this happen, I'm gonna give you an ultimatum. See...you have 24 hrs to find a partner for the match!!!! Count them! 24 HRS to find anyone in the locker room who can stand looking at you...who can stand listening to you...who can stand the vile odor that comes from your breath...not to mention someone that can stand teaming with you. And you must present him to me by tomorrow night at midnight, or you're gonna forfeit your spot in the match! Meaning that the Universal Title will be held up! Meaning that you will NO LONGER BE THE UNIVERSAL CHAMPION?! NOW...(sweetly) how do you like that?
(Tina bats her eyes and gives her "good wittle gurl" smile into the camera. Then, she picks up a folded sheet of paper from her desk and opens it up. She continues)
Tina: Now...1 last thing I wanna address before I let you all go about your bizness. See...I happened to be looking at this Sunday's final card for the PPV...and I noticed that some IDIOT has Diamond listed as the special guess referee alongside myself! Let me assure you that is not the case! Diamond is NOT going to be the special referee! I never permitted her to be! Firestorm never permitted her to be! We are the two top officials here in the NFWA, and we WILL NOT allow her to ruin this ma...
???: Tina!!!!
Tina: (Confused) Huh?! What the...
???: Oh Tina!!!!
Tina: Wha...what?! Who's that?! Who is tha...
(Suddenly, the lights return in the dining hall revealing, standing on the stage alongside Ice Cube and Diamond, wearing a black NFWA baby tee, a black skirt with silver trim, and knee high black boots...is none other than Tina's sister JOANIE (aka Chyna). On screen, Tina flips when she sees her sister)
Joanie: (smiling) That's right, sis! See...Panther may have had enough of the NFWA, he may have stopped caring about the fed, but me?! No! I was here when it started, and I'm damn sure not gonna sit back and watch you ruin it!!! So last week...last week I went to Panther, and I told him what was going on...I told him what you were doing to the fed...and I told him I wanted his decision making power! (Smiles) Panther never could say no to me, now could he?
Tina: YOU LITTLE BITCH!!!
Joanie: That's right, Tina!!! You're NOT the most powerful female here in the NFWA anymore! And right now, I'm excercing my new power by making DIAMOND the special guest referee for that match!!!
Tina: (bangs the desk) DAMN IT JOANIE!!! DAMN...YOU FUCKING...YOU CAN'T DO THIS!!! YOU CANNOT DO THIS!!!
Joanie: Wait a minute, sis! Not only can I do it, I have done it! And I've also done something else. Ya see...the 24 hrs for Ice Cube? It's not needed! Things are already taken care of! They're already sewn up! See...I knew about Lightning's injury last week, and I informed Ice Cube, and together, we went down the list of people on the roster that were available! Who in the NFWA...would be most likely to team with Ice Cube? I mean...we thought, and we thought, and we thought...thought until I got a headache but then it hit me! (taps herself in the head) "Joanie...who better to team with Ice Cube this Sunday night than the guy he teamed with two years ago when he came to the NFWA?" (smiles) And Tina...if you don't know who I'm talking about...lemme make things a little more clear!
Havok: OH SHIT IT'S RAGE!!!!!!!!!! (Havok and Ice Cube rush towards Rage and shake his hand, as Joanie stands on the stage with a smirk on her face. On the screen, Tina is tossing furniture around her office, as the screen snows out and fades to black)
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