7/16/00: From the Conseco Fieldhouse in Indianapolis, IN!
(A screen that says "In Memory of Mad Dog" comes up on the Panthertron and then fades away. The NFWA logo flashes upon the screen and then disappears. The opening video for Sin City plays on the screen and the camera cuts to the live crowd in the Conseco Fieldhouse cheering and holding up signs as pyro goes off over by the Sin City set. When the pyro stops the camera pans the crowd and we see signs such as "Krazed = New Champion", "Feel the Bolt" and "We want puppies!!!" The camera cuts to the announcer's table with Vince Johnson and Delaware Dave)
VJ: Ladies and gentlemen, we are live on Pay-Per-View!!! Live from Indianapolis, IN!!! Reggie Miller is in the front row and we are ready for Sin City!!!! Vince Johnson alongside Delaware Dave and we are fired up tonight!!! In the main event we will have a Triple Threat Ladder Match for the World Heavyweight Title! Crazy Lou will go 1 on 1 with…no one! It will be Crazy Lou Vs Krazed Vs Downcast with Prez Panther, Mick Foley and Sniper as the special enforcers and there has been a lot of heat between the NFWA staff lately so who knows what will happen there!
DD: Yeah, and we're gonna have Double C beat Shark for the I-C Title!
VJ: Yeah right. Let's get to ringside…
(Camera cuts backstage and we see Prez Panther talking to Trish Stratus when Krazed tries to attack him)
DD: What the hell?!! He just attacked Prez Panther! Didn't he do enough on Gear tonight?
VJ: There's never enough punishment for the Dynasty. And look at Prez Panther running! He's running from Krazed and…Krazed has Panther and Trish trapped!!!
DD: Call the police, he's gone nuts again!!!
VJ: Who is that…that's Jaguar…OH MY!!!! He just blew that stick of fire right into the face of Krazed…I think Trish's hair caught on fire too! And now here comes Crazy Lou and Double C! They're stomping Krazed!!! They're getting payback for what he did to them on Gear just a few minutes ago! Wait…here comes Commish Foley and he just attacked Prez Panther! He and Panther are going at it tooth and nail!!! Lou nails Foley in the back with that baseball bat and he's standing over Krazed!
Lou: Like I said, you don't even deserve to touch my belt and you just paid for it. See you tonight bitch!
(They all walk away laughing. The camera cuts to ringside for the opening match)
Devastation Vs DX 2000
(The DX theme plays over the PA system as a dim green light flashes over the arena. X-Pac, Road Dogg and HHH all walk out onto the ramp and then do crotch chops to the crowd and "X's" shoot up on the stage. They walk down the ramp and towards the ring and when they get there the Outlawz climbs into the ring as HHH climbs onto the ring apron and raises his arms into the air as he spits water into the crowd. The lights come back on and the music dies down. The arena goes dark and begins to rumble. Red, blue and green laser lights shoot across the arena and the theme from 2001 a Space Odessy comes over the PA. Posidin, Thor and Olympus make their way out onto the entrance ramp and the crowd erupts as the three men throw their arms into the air. The camera pans the crowd and we see signs such as "The Dynasty fears Total Devastation", and "Prepare for the Devastation". The camera comes back onto the three men now making their way down towards the ring. Thor, Posidin and the big Olympus climb into the ring. The music dies down)
Ding Ding Ding!!!
VJ: Here we go. The 2 Light Heavyweights X-Pac and Posidin are gonna start it off. Both these guys are martial artists so this will be very interesting. There's a lockup and X-Pac drives him back to the buckle…oh! Big chop to the chest and there's a thrust to the throat by X-Pac. X-Pac with another chop and Posidin fires back! We've got a chopfest in the in the middle of the ring between these 2.
DD: Isn't that that Chinese food festival in Georgia?
VJ: What the…nevermind. Speaking of Chinese the 9th Wonder of the World Chyna is not in the house tonight because she's been suspended. Good for her. Irish whip by X-Pac and Posidin springs off the ropes and connects with an elbow square on the jaw! In comes HHH and he catches a crescent kick that knocks him to the floor! Road Dogg in and he misses with a clothesline…Posidin hits off the ropes….he slides through the legs…inseguri!!!! DX has been taken out by Posidin and this crowd is loving it here tonight. There's the tag to Thor…Thor just lifted Posidin up for a gorilla press…he tosses him right down onto the entire DX group! That was incredible! He throws HHH back into Posidin and HHH back into the ring and there's the Big hammer by Thor and he goes down hard!!! Thor makes the cover…1…2…HHH got the shoulder up. Thor picks him back up and drives him to the buckle…rapid-fire boots to the midsection of "The Game".
DD: You know what, I'm getting really sick and tired of Shark and his Devastation guys! Who do they think they are?
VJ: Somebody's low on material. Backbreaker by Thor…and he's pointing to the big man…the Heavy Hitter of the group…
DD: Hey, hey, hey! What it skankhole there's only 1 Heavy Hitter!
VJ: Oh what a Corporate Kiss ass you are! There's the tag to Olympus and look at that look of fear on HHH's face!
DD: How can you see it, his nose blocks everything!
VJ: I thought you liked HHH. HHH is like a cornered rat! He runs at Olympus and catches a big boot right to the face! There's a beal across the ring and he almost sent HHH into orbit! He's begging off…oh HHH grabs him by the tights and the Outlawz are doing a number on him from the ring apron! The tag into Road Dogg…he's hammering with the right hands to the jaw…juke and jive and another right! The big man doesn't leave his feet! Road Dogg runs over and hits Thor and he tries to run into the ring…oh come on ref!! X-Pac and HHH are double teaming Thor!!! Road Dogg with a kick to the testicles!
DD: The testicles my ass he booted him in the balls Vince! Say it!!!
VJ: You're pathetic. The tag made to X-Pac…spin kick combo in the corner and the mighty Olympus finally leaves his feet as he slumps down in the corner! And watch X-Pac…Bronco Buster! The bigger Bronco Buster of all time! He tags in the Game now and HHH is stomping away at the midsection of Olympus. He picks him up and measures the right hand…and there's another one! HHH hits off the ropes and nails the high knee and he goes down like a big redwood! HHH to the corner…Harley Race type knee drop! 1…2…no! Oh and look at HHH…he's going to work on the knees of Olympus! There's the tag into X-Pac….he climbs to the top rope…big splash down onto the knee of Olympus…1…2…no! X-Pac is outmatched in here against Olympus…he makes the tag into Road Dogg and Road Dogg locks on the figure four. Olympus is in intense pain in the center of the ring. He is hurting badly and he's reaching for the ropes!
DD: Road Dogg's gonna tap out…look it's the Professional! He's my new hero!
VJ: He's gotta be in cahoots with the Dynasty after what he did earlier tonight on Gear. And now I'm sure he's out here to help DX. Olympus is reaching for the ropes…HHH is giving Road Dogg leverage from the floor! Come on ref! The ref sees it and he kicks HHH's hands! HHH is in the face of the official…the ref just shoved him! HHH shoves the ref and he shoves him back!!!
DD: What is that bastard referee doing in there! Oh did you see that? HHH just knocked his lights out…OH he hit HHH back! HHH hit him back…we've got a fistfight between HHH and the referee!!!
VJ: Oh my goodness! HHH misses with a clothesline and the ref caught him with a right hand square on the jaw…Olympus with a big chokeslam on HHH!!!! He calls that move the Olympic Drop! Road Dogg runs at him and catches a big boot! Now Olympus is crawling for the tag…yes!!! Here comes Posidin!! He climbs to the top rope…missile dropkick on HHH! There's a superkick on Road Dogg and X-Pac blasts him from behind with a spinning heel kick! Thor's in there now and he's on the Road Dogg! HHH is still down and watch X-Pac, he's going for the Bronco Buster…Posidin got the boot up and X-Pac just got kicked in the balls Dave!!!! Square in the balls!!! Storm kick knocks him to the buckle…Posidin sets him on the top rope…there's the tidalwave! From behind here's Road Dogg, who's still legal…Pumphandle Slam!!! Thor from behind…there's the Crush!!!
DD: Oh no! He's gonna rip Road Dogg's arms off and sell them on Ebay!!!
VJ: You've got some serious issues you need to address. Low blow by HHH… Pedigree on Thor!!! The mighty Olympus is back in and HHH hits him with a boot to the stomach…Pedigree…back body drop…he grabs HHH by the throat and lifts him back up…there's the Mortalizer!!! Cover…1…2…the Professional just pulled the referee to the floor!!! What the hell is going on? He knocked the ref down and this time he doesn't fight back!
DD: What a punk bitch!
VJ: Stop it! Pro has a cinderblock…he just hit Olympus in the head with a cinderblock! The damn thing actually punctured a hole in the ring it's so damn heavy!!!! And he walks to the back like nothing happened. X-Pac has Olympus…X-Factor…Three 6 hits the ring!!!! He has a lead pipe…he just nailed X-Pac in the head with that pipe…that's the hardest pipe shot I've ever seen!!!!
DD: The hardest what?!
VJ: Posidin to the top rope…moonsault on X-Pac!!! Three 6 throws the ref back into the ring…1…2…3!!!
Ding Ding Ding!!!
Announcer: Here are your winners: Devastation!!!!
VJ: That was an unbelievable win for Devastation!!! Give them credit cuz they earned that win!!!
DD: No, give that hoodlum Three 6 credit! He cheated and you know he did Vince. Then again you probably think it's fair to hit somebody in the head with a pipe. I hear that's how you people mate in Vancouver!
VJ: Damn it! DX got what was coming to them after what the Professional did…X-Pac hasn't moved since that shot. He's bleeding badly.
DD: Oh my God, they killed X-Pac!!!!
VJ: Shut up! X-Pac is being carried out on a stretcher…damn he got nailed. That shot just made the highlight video for FNS. Up next the Hardy Boyz will take on Cason and Madman…and has anybody hear about Krazed? Rosie Sanchez is backstage with the doctors!
(Camera cuts backstage where we see Rosie in the medical area)
RS: Thanks Vince. Krazed was burned here tonight by the mysterious Jaguar and he might not be able to compete here tonight in either of his matches. He was scheduled to take on Jaguar in a stairway to hell match and then that big main event but now it looks like he won't wrestle at all. This is a tragedy for Krazed.
DD: Is he dead Rosie?
RS: No Dave, he's still alive.
DD: Sh*t!!!!!
VJ: Stop it! Thank you Rosie.
(The camera cuts back to the Dynasty locker room where Trish and Prez Panther are sitting. HHH and Road Dogg walk in)
Trish: What happened?
HHH: You saw what happened! Three 6 came in and knocked X-Pac's brains out!
Dogg: Yeah, I swear I saw his brains lying in the middle of the ring. That's how hard he hit him.
(Double C walks in. Road Dogg extends his hand)
Dogg: Wassup Chris?
Double C: I come out tonight to talk a little Dynasty business. It has come to my attention that some members are not pulling their weight. They seem to slack off a bit. And let me give you a hint, the members are not Lou or myself. Now DX all we asked you to do is to get us some drinks at parties, answer the door, and shine our shoes. And you punks can't even get that right. I mean shit, look at the wax buildup on my shoes. I ought to use them to stop a hole in you punks.
(He walks away angrily. The camera cuts to a nice looking chick at ringside)
DD: Look, there's that hot chick with the big boobs again! Man check her out all in leather.
VJ: Yeah, she does look good, but look at the size of that guy next to her. That's three weeks they've been showing up and sitting ringside.
DD: Yeah, and they jumped Double C at the Slam, they shouldn't let that guy in here. Hey, I'm gonna go talk to her.
VJ: Shut up and sit down.
Madman and D. Cason Vs the Hardy Boyz
(The Hardy Boyz theme music blasts over the PA system as the lights begin to flash. Matt and Jnco run out onto the stage, pose for the crowd and then run down towards the ring. When they get to the ring, they climb on the ropes and pose as pyro goes off in the background. Their music dies down as Madman's plays over the PA and a green light shines over the entrance as he walks out onto the stage. He stops and his music dies down. Madman points back at the entrance as the Thong Song by Sisqo blasts over the PA and we see footage of D. Cason on the big screens. Cason walks out and he and Madman walk out to the ring. When they get to ringside Madman shakes the big man in the crowd and gives the woman a hug. He climbs into the ring and the music dies down)
Ding Ding Ding!!!
DD: Why did he hug my woman?
VJ: She's not your woman. We're all still wondering about that Jaguar thing. What kind of a man would burn another human being besides the Undertaker, Kane, Prez Panther, Sgt. Slaughter, Sabu, Terry Funk, Cactus Jack or the Original Sheik? They could all be Jaguar for all I know!
DD: Do you smell barbecue?
VJ: Yeah actually now that you mention it I do.
DD: It's probably from old Dragon Breath Cason!
VJ: Jnco Hardy hammering away on D. Cason from behind. Irish whip and Cason goes hard into the buckle…tilt-a-whirl slam by Jnco!!!! 1…2…no! Scoop slam by Jnco…he makes the tag to Matt Hardy and Matt climbs to the top rope…Guillotine leg drop on Cason! Cover…1…2…no! Dropkick by Hardy and Cason goes down! He climbs to the top rope…he misses with the moonsault…Cason is back to his feet and he takes Matt over in a huracanrana!!!!! And Cason makes the tag to Madman and he dedicated this match to Mad Dog earlier on and look at him go!
DD: Wow! He's gone nuts!
VJ: Irish whip by Madman and he catches Matt Hardy in a powerslam! Jnco runs in and catches a knee to the gut followed by a right hand…there's a clothesline and Jnco goes down. To the top rope goes Cason and he catches both Hardy Boyz with a missile dropkick! D Cason sets Jnco Hardy up on the top rope…there's the Dragonplex!!!! And watch Madman now…he scoops up Matt…Matt with a go behind and shoves him to the floor. Matt Hardy hits off the ropes and nails Madman with a plancha! Watch Cason…he climbs to the top and nails a spinning heel kick from the top to the floor! They throw him back into the ring now…Madman is singnaling…there's the Jackknife powerbomb…Cason takes out Jnco with a clothesline and Madman makes the cover…1…2…3!!!
Ding Ding Ding!!!
Announcer: Here are your winners, the team of Madman and D. Cason!!!!
VJ: That was an impressive victory and that victory was for Mad Dog.
DD: You know it's funny how you couldn't give a rat's ass about Mad Dog when he was alive but now that he's dead you mention him in every other sentence.
VJ: Uh…your momma! I'm being told that Kevin Taylor is backstage with an NFWA newcomer, the Rock.
DD: Wasn't the Rock…
VJ: I said newcomer! Take it away Kevin!
(Kevin Taylor is backstage with the Rock)
KT:HOW DOES IT FEEL OF BEING AT YOUR FIRST SHOW.
THE ROCK:I TELL YOU IT FEELS GREAT JABRONI AND I AM STILL LOOKING FOR THAT MATCH WITH RENEGADE.
KT:ACTUALLY WHAT IS THIS MATCH THAT YOU WANT WITH HIM.
THE ROCK:NOW LISTEN JABRONI I TOLD YOU NOT TO ASK ME ABOUT THAT MATCH NEVER IN MATTER OF FACT THIS INTERVIEW IS OVER.
KT: OK…back to you Vince!
VJ: Up next we've got the long-awaited rematch from our last PPV Maximum Carnage. The tag team titles are on the line, Total Domination Vs the Side Show Freaks. Let's show you a little history between these 2 teams…
(The lights go out and a red "A" covers the arena and then disappears)
DD: What was that?
VJ: I don't know. Let's just show you the history.
(A highlight video plays showing the Freaks winning the belts, losing them to Total Domination, Total Domination losing them to Angle and Jevona, winning them back from Angle and Jevona, and that street fight from FNS after the tag team battle royal)
Tag Team Titles: Total Domination (Champs) Vs the Side Show Freaks
(Carnival Music plays over the PA and we get a mixed reaction from the crowd as Midget Clown, the Black Avenger and Jiggly Steve walk out onto the stage and down the ramp towards the ring. Steve is juggling 3 lit cigars and is smoking one too. When they get to the ring the Freaks stand in the corner as we hear PREPARE TO BE DOMINATED over the PA system and Squirrel 4:20 appears on the big screens. A dim blue light covers the arena as Natural Born Killaz by Dr. Dre and Ice Cube blasts over the PA system as Squirrel and Zydrex appear on stage carrying the Tag Title belts over their shoulders and then down the ramp and towards the ring. As they walk down the ramp the camera focuses on a sign in the crowd that says "The Freaks will be Dominated". Squirrel and Zydrex climbs into the ring as pyro goes off behind them. The music dies down and the lights come back on)
Ding Ding Ding!!!!
DD: Wow…look at Pikachu go!!!!
VJ: Pikachu…Midget Clown is biting the ankle of Squirrel and he gets kicked away! He's got it again! He's got Squirrel's ankle and gets kicked again! Clown charges in and Squirrel kicks him in the head! He has him up in a press slam…look at the strength of Squirrel!!!!! He just launched Clown onto the ramp! Zydrex to the floor…Clowm may be bleeding…Zydrex charges in and goes for a clothesline but Clown is too short and he goes right over his head and hits facefirst off of the steel ramp! Avenger is in the ring hammering away on Squirrel…boot to the midsection…powerbomb…no! Squirrel counters with a Thez Press type move and is hammering with rights to the face! Clown is kicking Zydrex on the floor…he's biting his ear! Oh God what's his problem!
DD: We should call him Mini Mike for now on!
VJ: Maybe! Zydrex is carrying Clown on his back…he's walking back to the stage…oh no!!!! Zydrex is spinning around and he's trying to get Clown off of him…Clown is hanging on and I think Zydrex got dizzy…OHH!!!!! Zydrex just fell off of the stage and he and Midget Clown crashed through 2 tables!!!!
DD: Who is the idiot around here that keeps ordering these tables?!?!?!
VJ: Prez Panther.
DD: Good job Panther, cuz we can't get enough tables. You're still the man!
VJ: What a butt licking son of a bitch you are! Squirrel and Clown are the legal men but Clown is out cold over by the stage and Avenger just dropped Squirrel on top of the Chinese announce table!
DD: I didn't know that the NFWA was available in China.
VJ: Yup. Avenger slams Squirrel's head into the table…he took Chinese announcer what's his name and grabbed his headset and now Avenger is speaking to the citizens of China.
Avenger: Avenger go BOOOM!!!!
VJ: OH!!!! Squirrel just nailed him in the head with a steel chair and he really went boom!
DD: I didn't know he spoke Chinese.
VJ: Squirrel is hammering Avenger with chairshots to the head and this crowd is loving it! He throws him back into the ring and climbs to the top rope…flying clothesline by Squirrel and Avenger is flat on his back. 1st cover in the match..1…2…Clown breaks it up! Clown is still legal so that was absolutely fair! Clown climbs to the top…twisting huracanrana!!! Picture perfect and he hooks the leg…1…2…no! Avenger climbs out of the ring finally. Clown picks Squirrel up and drives him back into the corner…oh he punched him in the groin! DQ him ref!
DD: He just cracked Squirrel's nuts. Anyway he can't DQ him because that would be discrimination. When he punches somebody in the nuts because of his height it's just like hitting somebody in the face or the neck.
VJ: Punching is illegal anyway! Tag into Avenger…he backs up…he's going for some kind of move…Squirrel moves out of the way and he catches him with a leaping DDT! Squirrel is going for the tag…Zydrex wants in…and he's in! Zydrex rushes the ring and he's all over Avenger! Right hands to the head and now forearm shots to the back!! Zydrex off the ropes and he nails the flying clothesline and Avenger is down…Clown dives from the top rope…hmm that was interesting. Zydrex picks up Avenger and he tries to slam him but he can't…he calls in Squirrel…double slam on the Black Avenger. Avenger crawls to the corner and watch this…Nutt Buster by Squirrel! This one is about to be all! They're gonna retain the titles…Avenger is back up…Nutt Shot…no he caught Jiggly Steve who was climbing on the apron! Sunset flip by Clown but it doesn't work! Zydrex stomps him in the face…he lifts him up…he's going for the Dominator but Clown escapes and crawls over to the buckle…powerbomb on Squirrel by Avenger…and watch the big man! Zydrex trying to pull Clown from out of the corner…Avalanche by Avenger! He picks up Clown…press slam on top of Zydrex…1…2…3!!!!!
Ding Ding Ding!!!
Announcer: Here are your winners, and new NFWA Tag Team Champions: the Side Show Freaks!!!!
VJ: That was a great win by the Side Show Freaks! They didn't cheat! Look at Reggie Miller of the NBA Eastern Conference Champion Indiana Pacers clapping.
DD: Yeah he should love the Freaks because the fit in together. If Reggie wants to see a real Freak he should look in the mirror!
VJ: You're just mad cuz Delaware doesn't have it's own team. OH! Here comes B.I. and Reckless Youth! They made it clear that they want the tag team titles and now Youth has a cloth…there's some kind of chemical on that cloth and he put it right over the nose and mouth of Avenger! Avenger can't breathe and he's passing out! Bad Influence with a Jackknife Powerbomb that almost put Midget Clown through the ring. And they just picked up the tag team belts. Here comes Devastation! Olympus and Thor, the team that will get the title shot this week on FNS and they're fighting! They're going at it tooth and nail! B.I. and Reckless Youth make a quick escape as Thor picks up 1 of those tag belts…and Clown snatches it away.
DD: Clown had better be careful or they're gonna molest him again!
VJ: They didn't molest him…I hope they didn't molest him anyway. And Thor and Olympus are attacking Clown and Avenger can't help him. Squirrel and Zydrex are fighting with Thor and Olympus! We've got Chaos out here…and I really mean that now cuz here comes Kaos and this new guy! I'm being told his name is Viper and we've got a big brawl out here at ringside between the tag teams! Dear Lord what will happen next?
(Camera cuts to the locker room where Double C and Lou are attacking Shark)
VJ: Shark is being attacked in the locker room by the Dynasty! Here comes Downcast and he attacks Lou! Double C is making an escape. What a coward! Shark is chasing after Double C and…Shark chased him out to the parking lot and now he has Double C cornered. Oh! That limo just backed into Shark and the I-C Champ is down! Who's driving that…oh it's Jaguar! Jaguar gets out of that limo and now he and Double C are stomping away on Shark! I can't believe it! Could Jaguar be the original limo driver? Prez Panther promised that we would find out tonight! Let's get back to ringside and can somebody get some help for Shark, that limo hit him right in the ribs!
Submission Match: Kurt Angle Vs Kaos
(Bitch Please 2 hits the pa as Big K, Kaos hits the ring. He is wearing his new shirt "Big K is here to stay". He has on his Jean shorts. He looks like he is in the mood for some action from the ladies.)
DD: Hahahaha!!!! He slapped the taste outta that bitch's mouth! I like that!
VJ: You would you wife beating, redneck whore!
(Kurt Angle's theme music plays over the PA as red, white and blue lights shine over the arena. Kurt walks out onto the stage with Jevona and the crowd boos. The pair walk down the aisle and Angle climbs into the ring and poses as thecrowd boos. His music dies down)
Ding Ding Ding!!!
VJ: This is a rematch from the 1996 Olympic Games from…Atlanta, GA! Out of all of the places to hold the Olmpics they choose the WCW Capital of the World.
DD: Yeah what's next, the Olympics in Vancouver? That would be gay!
VJ: Alright shut up with the Canada jokes. Kaos has been very bitter about the 96 Olympics and he wants revenge here tonight. There's a lockup…Angle counters into a waistlock…drop toe hold and Kaos with a side headlock on the ground…Angle counters into a reverse hammerlock…this a classic technical wrestling match.
(Crowd chants "Boring, Boring, Boring!!!")
DD: Hey, this is great wrestling action. This ain't boring…ok I lied it's boring as hell!
VJ: The chants from this crowd are making Angle mad. Watch Kaos…he's got a steel chair…chairshot to the back of the head and he knocked Angle down hard!
(Crowd gives Kaos a big pop)
VJ: No DQ so Kaos is hammering Angle into the mat with that steel chair! He picks him up…Irish whip to the ropes…he tried to give him a shot to the knee but Angle jumped over it…OH! Right to the back of the head again!
DD: I think he brained his damage.
VJ: I think you've watched the Simpsons 1 time too many! Here's a new hold…a camel clutch using that steel chair…Angle is in some real trouble here and he might tap out. If he taps he's fired and we will never see Kurt Angle again. Angle got to the ropes. He picks up Angle…he slams him down in the middle of the ring and now he puts that steel chair on his face. Kaos is climbing to the top rope…big elbow drop but Angle blocks it with a steel chairshot! Jevona hands Angle and chain and he wraps it around his fist…right hands right to the head of Kaos and he busted his eye open! Kaos is bleeding and I've never seen this side of Angle before!
DD: You see what happens when you chant boring at an Olympic Hero?
VJ: Yeah. Angle wraps the chain around his neck…he tosses him over the top rope and Kurt Angle is trying to hang Kaos!!!! Kurt Angle has lost it and he's gonna try and choke Kaos out! He's doing anything that he can to keep from being fired from the NFWA. Blood is beginning to pour out of Kaos' mouth. Kaos will now tap out so Angle lets go. He climbs to the floor…that chain is still around the neck of Kaos…Angle grabs the end of that--OH! What strength by Kaos. He whipped Angle into the steel stairs using his neck! I think he hurt himself too. Kaos is pissed off and he's hammering with those right hands right to the head of Angle! He backs up…OH! Dropkick to the face of Angle and the back if his head got sandwiched between the steel stairs!
DD: Angle's gonna have about 35 concussions by the end of this match.
VJ: You may be right. Kaos just shoved Jevona down and stole 1 of her crutches…and he breaks it over the head of Angle. Jevona breaks her crutch over Kaos head and now she has no crutches and a broken ankle!
DD: I like Jevona but that was dumb. She can sit in my lap if she wants.
VJ: But your woman is watching in the crowd. You want her to get jealous? Angle tosses Kaos back into the ring. He climbs to the top rope…moonsault press! And now Angle locks in a Crippler Crossface type move! Kaos may have to quit…Jevona is on the floor and she's loving it! Kaos got to the ropes and Angle can't believe it! He's arguing with the referee! Kaos is back to his feet…Angle with a lockup…low blow by Kaos…Chart Buster!!!! Angle is down but watch Kaos…he drags Kurt out to the center of the ring…Sharpshooter!!!! He's got him locked in the Sharpshooter and Angle is in pain!!!
DD: Come on Kurt! You can do it!
VJ: Kurt is reaching for the ropes…he's trapped in the middle of the ring! Angle's gonna try to break it! He's bridging out of the hold and Kaos lets go. He picks up that lead pipe that Three 6 left out here…OH!!!! Right to the back of Angle!!! He may have broken his back!!! And he locks the Sharpshooter on again!!! Angle is in the middle of the ring! There's nothing that he can do but he won't tap out! He just got hit in the back with a lead pipe and he's in 1 of the most painful holds in wrestling history and he won't tap out!
DD: I have to give Angle credit, he's tough.
VJ: I think the ref will have to stop this one because Angle will never tap out…nevermind!
Ding Ding Ding!!!
Announcer: Here is your winner: Kaos!!!!
DD: Do you ever get tired of being wrong?
VJ: Occasionally. Kurt Angle has tapped out at the hands of Kaos but give him credit. He was a great wrestler and now this crowd is giving him a round of applause.
DD: No they're not they're giving him the finger.
VJ: Well I'm sure that's a sign of respect somewhere.
DD: Look, that big guy is going somewhere, I'm gonna go talk to her, give her a little of that old Deleware charm.
(DD gets up and goes over to talk to the girl in the leather catsuit, he says something to her and she slaps him. He's about to hit her back when he notices the man returning with a couple of drinks and runs back to the announcers table)
VJ: so, did you use that old Delaware Charm?
DD: Can you believe that bitch, I'll kick her damn ass...
VJ: I think you should just sit down and shut up.
DD: yeah well maybe, but if it wasn't for that big ugly guy, she'd be staying with me tonight at the Budget Motel.
What the hell does she see in that guy anyway? Look at his face, it looks like a roadmap of New York with all those scars on it.
VJ: Will you just forget about her and call the next match. Stairway to Hell match…Jaguar will take on Krazed. Krazed already had a preview of hell earlier on when Jaguar burned him right in the face. We have been told that Krazed will be able to wrestle the match so here we go right…
(Pyro goes off and the lights begin to flash. I got that fire by Juvenile plays over the PA as Krazed walks out to the ring with tape on his face from the burning.)
Stairway to Hell: Krazed Vs Jaguar
(Krazed climbs to the top rope and the crowd goes wild)
VJ: Damn Krazed looks intense. I have a feeling he might run right through this Jaguar guy.
DD: I have a feeling he's gonna run right by him and straight out of the NFWA cuz he's a cowardly piece of sh*t and he sucks Ralph's di…
VJ: Would you stop it!!!!!!! Who's Ralph anyway?
(Pyro goes off in the aisle again as the lights flicker red and the Dynasty's theme music plays over the PA system as Prez Panther and Trish Stratus lead Jaguar out to the stage and they all walk down the ramp towards the ring as pyro blasts explode behind them. When they get to the ring Jaguar climbs in and goes face to face with Krazed as Panther and Trish walk over to the commentary table. The camera cuts out to the parking lot and we see a messed up limo pull up as the music dies down)
VJ: Wait…isn't that that same limo that was thrown into the river?
DD: No! That limo is ruined. What's up Panther?
Prez: Just watching the stairway to hell match. Not here to interfere or anything like that.
VJ: There you see the barbwire hanging above the ring and we see these 2 men going face to face. Jaguar just slapped Krazed and Krazed with a boot to the midsection.
Prez: Jag should be careful cuz after that tragic accident earlier tonight if he slaps Krazed in the face it could fly off and land in the crowd.
VJ: What is your relationship with this Jaguar? Is he in the Dynasty?
Prez: Jaguar is my blood.
VJ: Oh…like your brother or something.
Prez: Uh…yeah you could say that.
VJ: Krazed is hammering away on Jaguar in the ring…he's trying to rip his mask off. Trish is up on the ring apron and Krazed comes after her…Jaguar from behind with a knee to the back.
DD: It shouldn't hurt because he has no spine! No backbone! He's a damn jellyfish! A cheap shank…
Prez, Trish and VJ: Shut the hell up!!!!
VJ: Jaguar to the floor and he's going for the ladder!
DD: Watch out!
VJ: From behind here comes Krazed. Krazed is hammering with right hands right to the head! Irish whip right to the Guardrail goes Jaguar! Superkick by Krazed knocks him down and what's he doing now? Krazed is picking up that ladder and he rams it right to the back of the knee. And now he hits Jaguar in the head! Krazed is bringing the ladder back into the ring. Jaguar has a chair and attacks him from behind! Again! He picks up the chair and nails him right to the head.
DD: Krazed is gonna be another Kurt Angle! Then he'll have no brain and no spine!
Trish: Nice observation Delaware!
DD: I can do a lot of nice things!
VJ: At ease soldier. Jaguar is climbing that ladder to get the barbwire…he's got a hand on it but I think he pricked himself…Krazed shoves the ladder down and he hits his head on the steel ringpost! Krazed grabs Jaguar by the throat…chokeslam!!!! He's down and now watch Krazed…he's setting the ladder back up…he's making the climb…he's reaching and he got it. He got the barbwire and he pulls it down.
Prez: OK ref he's cheating. I don't see anywhere in the rulebook where barbwire is legal!
VJ: That's the name of the game and he just wrapped the barbwire around his mask and Jaguar is screaming in pain. Oh here comes HHH! What a no good, lousy son of a bitch! Low blow on Krazed and Road Dogg joins him. We just got word that X-Pac still hasn't regained consciousness from that attack by Three 6 earlier on.
DD: Oh great now he's dead! Why is it that everybody that joins this fed has to die Panther?
Prez:…well they do call me the Dr. Kavorkian of the wrestling world.
VJ: Both of you stop it…and I meant that in a nice way Prez. Krazed is being mugged in the ring by Prez Panther's hired thugs and here comes commish Foley! Chairshot to the head of HHH…there's one for Road Dogg…Jaguar is back to his feet and nails Foley with a chair. He picks him up…powerbomb on that barbwire! Foley's in pain!!!! Krazed from behind and Jag hits him with the barbwire! He's gonna do the same thing…back body drop by Krazed sends Jaguar flying on top of barbwire! This crowd is going crazy…he picks up Jaguar…tombstone on the barbwire!!! Cover…1…2…3!!!!
Ding Ding Ding!!!
Announcer: Here is your winner: Krazed!!!
VJ: Well Prez Panther it looks like your plans have been foiled thanks to Commish Foley.
Prez: No! Screw that, I'm taking him out myself!!
VJ: What?! Come on! Calm down!!! Prez Panther is calling out Krazed…these 2 are gonna go at it right in the center of the ring it looks like! Jaguar from behind! It was all a set up!
DD: The greatest setup of all time!
VJ: Ok Tony. What is Jaguar doing? He just stuffed that barbwire in Krazed's mouth…no!!!!! He threw him over the top rope and now he's hanging Krazed by the barbwire! I can't believe this! That barbwire is cutting into the mouth of Krazed and look at that bastard Prez Panther!!! He's pulling Krazed's legs and increasing the pressure! They are trying to dismantle Krazed and Foley finally steps in with a steel chair!!! Panther, Trish and Jaguar are getting out of here. They did their job. Who is this Jaguar guy?
DD: I really don't know but I like him! I wish he would do that to you.
VJ: Twice tonight he has attacked Krazed and left him lying…and I mean serious attacks. The 1st time he burned him and now…Krazed's blood is all over the floor! We may have to take him to the hospital! Here comes another man…I'm not sure who that is but he's helping Krazed out of here. I'm being told that's his brother Mike Smith. Well up next I guess you could say that we have a Grand Slam Title Match as the Professional puts all of his gold on the line for a #1 contender's spot for the World Heavyweight Title. Here we go!
4 way elimination: The Professional Vs Lightning Vs Squirrel Vs Xtreme
(
BEEP BEEP BEEP WHIIIIIIRR the sounds of a cement truck and a jackhammer play over the PA, then "Pardon Me" by Incubus plays and the crowd gets on their feet and begins to boo as Professional walks out onto the ramp, raising his eyebrows, and holding his hands up in the air, questioning the audience as to why they are booing him. He climbs into the ring and poses with his belts as the music dies down. The lights begin to flicker and we hear the sound of thunder roaring thoughout the arena. A lightning bolt strikes the stage and the crowd cheers as Lightning descends from the rafters and stands in the middle of the ring. The arena lights go out as the sound of bombs dropping can be heard over the P.A...The crowd boos as Xtreme wearing his trademark camouflage pants and shirt makes his way down to the ring while N.W.A blast around the arena...Xtreme climbs into the ring and his music dies down. Squirrel 4:20 appears on the big screens and the crowd cheers as the lights slowly dim and a blue light covers the arena. Fireworks explode on the stage as Natural Born Killaz plays over the PA and Squirrel walks out and the crowd goes wild. He runs down to the ring and goes right after the Professional)Ding Ding Ding!!!
VJ: Here we go!!! Let me remind you that the 1st person to get eliminated here gets the Light Heavyweight title!
DD: Squirrel is the only other Light Heavyweight in the match so I guess he's got it won. There's no way he's making it to the 2nd fall!
VJ: Irish whip by Xtreme and he ducks the head…Squirrel with a boot to the face and he gives him the finger followed by a big clothesline!
DD: What a rude little rodent! I'll bet that Rocky the flying Squirrel wouldn't be proud of his son tonight!
VJ: The Professional and Lightning are going at it in the corner! Right hand by Lightning…Irish whip…reversal by the Professional…Lightning ducks the short arm clothesline and catches the Professional with a nice Death Valley Driver! Squirrel is on the top rope…he dives to the floor and he lands right on top of Xtreme! I can see already that this is gonna be a wild one! Xtreme Irish whips Squirrel into the stairs but Squirrel leaps on top of them…Xtreme shoves him right into the guardrail!!! And watch Xtreme…he's stomping the daylights out of Squirrel on the floor.! Here comes Lightning and he grabs Xtreme by the hair…inverted DDT on the floor! The Pro is on the top rope…Somersault Senton and he takes out the entire group!!!
DD: And that's exactly how this match is gonna end! All of those faggots flat on their backs!
VJ: The Professional…what and egotistical bastard! He's on the steel stairs gloating and watch Squirrel…Nutt Shot!!!! He just KO'd him with the Nutt Shot! Lightning grabs Squirrel from behind and tosses him into the ring! Right hands on the jaw! Irish whip and Squirrel with a reversal and Lightning comes hard out of the buckle…drop down by Squirrel and oh!!! DDT from the top rope on Lightning by Xtreme…1…2…3!!! Lightning is gone!!!
DD: Wow! Just like that!
VJ: Yeah! And now Xtreme goes to the floor and is mauling the Professional. He picks him up…running powerslam right on the steel ramp and the Pro is in trouble like never before. Xtreme has eliminated Lightning and now he's looking to do the same to the Professional! He grabs him by the hair…it looks like he's going for a belly to back suplex. Squirrel is running up the ramp now and he sneaks up behind Xtreme and locks him in a waistlock…he takes Xtreme over in a German Suplex and oh!!!! He was still holding onto him and he throws him off the stage thru a table!!! I don't know if Xtreme will be able to continue after that fall. He fell right on his neck thru that table!
DD: Ahh, don't worry. Faggots like him going flying everywhere in this city all the time!
VJ: Would you stop! What's wrong with Indianapolis?
DD: What's right with this faghole? It's not Delaware, you idiot! Call the match, moron!
VJ: The Pro is on the floor now. He's picking up Xtreme, and he gives him a brainbuster on the concrete! Squirrel has a chair, and he just swong at Professional. He ducks, and Xtreme eats the steel!
DD: That shouldn't bother him much. Ya know, I heard he eats steel all the time back home!
VJ: Is that a fact?
DD: Yeah! Oh you didn't know? As a matter of fact, they eat stuff like that in Canada too! But it's so cold up there…
VJ: Up where?
DD: Up there, you idiot! It's so cold, they have to melt the steel so it doesn't freeze to their insides. Then they use it as a topping on all those Helen Hart/rat pizzas!
VJ: Alright, that's enough. We apologize to the Hart family for Dave's comments. These guys have been battling everywhere, and they've made their way back to ringside. Xtreme is looking under the ring for something. He's got a fire extinguisher, but he can't get it to work. Does that always happen? Do these fools really not know how to operate one of those?
DD: Squirrel just striped Xtreme's gears with a hockey stick!
VJ: He did what?
DD: Oh, excuse me. I forgot you don't have any gears, so you wouldn't understand that joke. You gearless faggot!
VJ: Nevermind. The Pro from behind with a clothsline on Squirrel that sends him headfirst into the ringsteps. Pro has Xtreme in the ring, and he's going for a float over DDT, but Xtreme counters into a Northern Lights suplex. 1, 2, 3 - he got him, he got hi…
DD: SHUT UP BITCH!!!!!!!!! The ref stopped counting years ago! It's was only a two count! DAMN FAGGOT!
VJ: You'll have to excuse me folks. I get carried away sometimes. Xtreme is flying off the ropes, and runs right into a knee from Pro. There's the Manuever! 1, 2, 3 - he got him.
DD: Are you sure?
VJ: Yeah, this time, he's outta here! Xtreme has been eliminated, but he is the new Xtreme champion for the 2nd time in his career.
DD: Now we're down to Squirrel and The Professional. One of these men will get a World title shot against whoever the champ is after tonight, and one will be the TV champion. But who is the Light heavyweight champion?
VJ: I would think that the Pro is the Light Heavyweight Champion. The Professional is stomping away on the back of Squirrel! He slams him into the ring stairs. And again! The Professional…Irish whip and Squirrel's shoulder goes right into the ring post…the Pro charges in…he moves and the Pro crashes headfirst into the post…Squirrel with a DDT on the floor and this crowd is going wild! It looks like Squirrel is gonna be the #1 contender for the World Title. I think he'll make a great World Champion!
DD: It doesn't matter what you think cuz I promise that there's no way in hell that he's walking out here with the shot if I have to climb into the ring and kick him in the head myself!
VJ: Kick him in the head? Back into the ring he goes and this crowd is loving it…Schoolboy by Squirrel…1…2…no! He picks him back up…Irish whip and there's the huracanrana…1…2…no!!! Again he was close! Scoop slam by Squirrel…he climbs to the top rope and there's a big splash by Squirrel…1…2…3!!!! No! He picks him up and slams him to the buckle…and again…right hand and he goes down hard…Squirrel is signaling for it…here it comes…Nutt Buster…OH! Pro got the boot up and he really busted him! The Pro is climbing back to the top rope…here comes the Maneuver…he misses…Squirrel back up and he nails the Nutt Shot!!!! It's over…1…2…foot on the rope!!! That was sooooo close! Squirrel is a bit frustrated! He picks up the Pro…right hand to the jaw…Irish whip and Squirrel charges in…the Pro moves and he goes shoulder first right to the post…rollup by Pro…he has the tights…1…2…3!!!
Ding Ding Ding!!!!
Announcer: Here is your winner, The Professional!!!
VJ: What a but the Pro won with a big screw job! You know that wasn't fair!!!! He had a handful of tights! So now he meets the winner of the World Title match. Up next we've got the I-C title on the line. Double C will go 1 on 1 with Shark. Let's show you the history between these 2.
(Highlight video plays over the screen. Shows footage of Double C's debut and him attacking Shark. The camera cuts back to the locker room with Sniper)
VJ: We just got word from Sniper in the back. What condition is Shark in after that limo accident earlier on?
Sniper: Well basically…
(Prez Panther and Trish walk into the camera shot)
Sniper: What do you want?
Prez: You think you're tough. You wanna come out here talking about what you're gonna do to me and the Dynasty well do something now!
VJ: Trish just slapped Sniper and he grabs her by the throat…it's that Jaguar guy again!!!! OH! He just shattered a mirror over his head and no…piledriver on the floor!!!! Sniper is hurt thanks to Panther and this Jaguar guy! Oh God get some more help!
I-C Title: Shark (Champion) Vs Double C
(Double C's theme music plays as the lights dim in the arena and a golden light shines over the arena. Double C walks out onto the ramp and the crowd boos and he continues to walk to the ring. When he Double C gets to ring he poses on the ropes and waits for Shark as the music dies down. The arena lights go out and a dim blue light fills the arena. The familiar DAA-DUM, DAA-DUM comes over the PA and the crowd erupts. The Shark wearing the IC belt over his shoulder makes his way out to the entrance ramp with a mic in his hand. The Shark raises the IC belt into the air and the chant of Shark Attack! fills the arena.)
Ding Ding Ding!!!!
VJ: Here we go! Double C is wasting no time!!! He's hitting him right in the rib area with those knees. Snap suplex and Shark is holding his back. Double C drags him out towards the ramp…snap suplex again…that will break his ribs…what on earth is that?
DD: That's that limo that ran Shark down earlier.
VJ: That looks like that same limo that went into the river! I'm telling you that's the same limo! Double C is trying to get that snap suplex…Shark blocks it and suplexes him on the guardrail. Watch out cuz here comes that limo and it pulls into the aisle and Shark side steps it! He opens the door and pulls somebody out…that must be the limo driver…it's just a normal driver. That’s…was he the one driving the limo…watch Double C from behind! He slams Shark right into the hood of the car and again!!! He's got his hand…oh no…he slammed his hand in the car door!!! He may have broken Shark's hand!! And now he throws Shark on the hood of the car…piledriver and look at the dent in the hood of that car!!!!
DD: Yeah he left a big face print in that limo! Double C just planted that idiot. Get him in the limo and drive it off a cliff!
VJ: Stop it! Double C wants that IC title so bad he can taste it, and if he hits a couple more moves like that, he'll be the champion! He goes for a vertical suplex on the top of that limo, but Shark counters and lands on his feet! Shark locks Cannon in a full nelson. He just tripped him left leg, and Cannon went face-first on the roof of that limo.
DD: He broke his face, Vince!
VJ: He may have done just that! Double C is back up, and Shark charges at him, oh my god!!!!! Cannon just backdroped the champ off the limo, and he landed on the ringsteps! Good lord, that had to kill him!
DD: Did you say kill? Looks like we have to have another fune…
VJ: It was a figure of speech, jackass!
DD: Well, you shouldn't talk about killing, and death after the two bit skank, Mad Dog got run down two days ago! By the way, did I tell you my joke about how this guy…
VJ: Shut up! Just shut up. You're a poor excuse for a human being, and so is Delaware!
DD: Are you saying Delaware is a poor excuse for a human being?
VJ: Yes!
DD: (laughing) What a jackass!
VJ: Double C has Shark on the top rope. What's he gonna do here? He's going for a superplex, but the champion fires back with rights and lefts. Shark counters with a face-first suplex off the top! Double C is up, and he just got clothslined over the top and to the floor. And Shark up and over with a plancha! Shark Irish whips Cannon towards the limo, and he hits hard on the hood, and a hangman's neckbreaker on the floor. Shark slides back in the ring, and what is he going to do now?
DD: Well, if you shut your cake hole for two seconds, you might find out!
VJ: Shark just bounced off the ropes, and he's coming at full speed -- LOOKOUT!!!
VJ and DD: OH MY GODDDDDDDD!!!!!!!
VJ: Shark just did a suicide dive over all three ropes, trying to connect on Cannon, but Double C telegraphed that one. He side stepped the champ, and Shark just went flying thru the front windshield of the limousine!!
DD: He went crashing thru that glass headfirst, Vince! Get that faggot up, and get him in the ring, and pin him! C'mon Cannon, get that faggot!!!
VJ: My broadcast colleague is an out of control pervert!!! Shark is busted wide open after flying thru that glass. Cannon pulls Shark onto the hood, and now he climbs to the top rope! What are you doing up there? NO!!! Don't do it! Double C just took a leap of faith off the top rope, looking for a diving elbow on Shark. Shark moved, and Cannon got nothing but the hood of that limo. Smoke is coming from the hood, and that can't be good.
DD: We've got fans, and ring crew over there. This could be dangerous!
VJ: OH MY GOD!!!!! Something just exploded from under the hood of that limo, and it sent Cannon flying into the crowd!
DD: Look, Vince, here comes Road Dogg and Triple H!
VJ: Road Dogg and Triple H are running down to ringside, and they are attacking Shark on the floor! There's a Pedigree on the floor, and this is a damn shame! The Dynasty is trying to end their enemies careers here tonight, and it's not funny at all! Double C is back up, and he's in the ring. Trish Stratus is down here now. She just hit Shark with a low blow! That little bitch!!
DD: WHAT??!!!
VJ: You heard me! Trish is distracting the referee, and DX has chairs. Cannon is just standing there watching, and Shark is about to be a saltwater chair sandwhich!
DD: That was a good one, Johnson!
VJ: HHH swings, but Shark ducks, and HHH just took out Double C! Road Dogg swings, but he catches HHH!
DD: Those idiots! They both screwed up!
VJ: And Shark has a chair now. He almost took Double C's head off with that chairshot! DX is scattering away from ringside with Trish!
DD: Disqualify that big toothed skank!
VJ: Cannon has been busted open from all those chairshots, and there's the Shark Attack!!! The cover; 1, 2, it's over!!!
Ring Announcer: Here is your winner, and still IC champion, Shark!!!
DD: Double C got robbed, and you know it Vince!
VJ: That's your story, and you're probably gonna stick to it! But the bottom line is that another Dynasty plan has been thwarted here, and Shark narrowly escapes Sin City with the Intercontinental Championship! What a night it has been. We've had great match after great match after great match and now we have the main event. World title on the line in a ladder match. We were supposed to have 3 special enforcers but now I'm not too sure because Sniper has been taken out by Jaguar, Foley was powerbombed on barbwire…Krazed is hurt. Who knows what will happen in this match. Is it even gonna go down with all of the carnage that went on tonight?
NFWA World Title Ladder Match: Crazy Lou (Champ) Vs Krazed Vs Downcast
("Enter Sandman" plays over the PA and the crowd goes wild. Downcast and Leena walk out onto the stage and the crowd goes crazy. Climbs on the hood of the limo and dances for the crowd before jumping down and climbing into the ring. )
VJ: Downcast is in the ring…what next?
(Pyro explodes and a flashing red light covers the arena. Panther's theme music blasts over the PA system as he walks out onto the stage with Trish and then down the ramp towards the ring. His music dies down and Panther grabs the mic)
Prez: Now…I'm really, really, really, really, really…really sorry for not delivering on a promise. Tonight I said that we would have 3 enforcers and gosh darn the luck that hasn't happened. Darn it. 1st we've got that fat piece of sh*t…I mean wonderful Commissioner Follie, the clumsy jackass that he is tripped and fell on some barbwire and now he's out of the match! Then that other clumsy bastard Sniper…I don't know what happened to him but he's not gonna be in this match. It's a real shame. And finally 1 of our participants Krazed…I have nothing to say except this: What kind of moron would attempt to eat a plate of barbwire that's how greedy he is…(crowd boos) I know they should be booed! So right here tonight, I will be the only enforcer, and this match is officially 1 on 1…
(Pyro goes off and I got that fire plays over the PA and Krazed runs down the ramp with Commish Foley at his side.)
VJ: Krazed is here! He's here! What guts by this young man!!!!
DD: Yeah he's got so much tape on his face he looks like a fucking mummy!!!
VJ: Watch your fucking language...oops! Prez and Trish run from the ring like cowards and are hiding in the limo! My goodness this is insane. Commish Foley, not Commish Folly is out here at ringside.
(The lights flicker once…twice…3 times and then go out. Welcome to the Jungle blasts over the PA as Crazy Lou walks out with the belt around his waist and the bat in his hand. The crowd boos loudly and Lou the sound guy to cut the music as the crowd throws trash at him and chant "asshole")
VJ: I have never seen a World Champion more hated than Crazy Lou! He has the mic in his hand.
Crazy Lou: You fans are proably wondering why I have not acknowledged the
death of a comrade. The reason is that I decided to hold back my feelings
until I had everyone's complete attention. You see, Mad Dog was a friend of
mine and all of the other competitors behind the curatin. He was always
there for everyone, whether it was emotions of sadness or happiness he was
always there for everyone. I have know Mad Dog ever since his days back in
the HHWF. But there was one thing that never changed about Mad Dog but first
lets take a look at this video that I have put together to commerate his
career.
(The Panthertron turns on to show highlights of Mad Dog's career. His career
peaked at his capturing titles in the HHWF. The video ends as
"I Will Remember You" comes to it's end.)
Crazy Lou: Now it is very saddening to tell all of you fans this. And I know
that it will shock some of you guys back stage. But...
(Crazy Lou wipes the tears away from his face.)
Crazy Lou: I don't know how to say this but...MAD DOG SUCKED!!! I know, you
guys in the back know it, and you fans know it. No matter how hard he
trained he was always snorting crack in the back or shooting up on heroine.
You see I didn't realize it until he decided to try to form a "Bomb Squad"
faction in the NFWA with Madman. But he doesn't know shit about them and never will be
able to reach the heights of Panther, Sniper and Johnny Gunn's natural
ability. So let's get down to business because I gotta fuck Trish after my
victory.
(The crowd almost riots as Lou laughs and his music starts up again)
VJ: That heartless son of a bitch!!! I hope somebody kicks his ass!
DD: He just told the truth. That's your whole problem, you can't accept the truth about that faggot. I told the truth at his funeral, he was gay, he was a crackhead and he deserved to die. He deserves to burn in hell and I agree with Lou 100%!!!
VJ: It's Madman!!! Madman was Mad Dog's best friend and he's all over Crazy Lou in the aisle! He tosses Lou on top of that limo and is slamming his head into the trunk and now he's hitting him with rights to the face. Prez Panther gets out of the limo with Trish and he's dragging Madman to the back! This is chaos and now here comes Downcast and Krazed and they're mauling the crazy one!
Ding Ding Ding!!!
VJ: They're dragging Lou to ringside and they slam him into steel barricade and the fans are mugging him!!!
DD: Look at that big eared freak Reggie Miller! He wants to attack Crazy Lou! Don't you dare! Don't you…
VJ: Reggie Miller just nailed Crazy Lou with a right hand right to the head!!! Lou is getting attacked from all corners after his comments about the late Mad Dog! Bring him over here I wanna hit him! Yeah…
DD: Vince you had better sit down….Vince sit down…Lou low blows Krazed…they still have to hang the belt but it looks like they're gonna hang him. Downcast right into the guardrail…and Lou has Vince Johnson by the throat!!!!! Alright Lou I think you scared to death…lariat on Downcast!!! And now look at Lou he tosses the belt to the ref and he's gonna go after Reggie Miller!!!
VJ: That idiot Lou has Reggie Miller and he's dragging him over the guardrail. He has Reggie Miller by the throat…Pen Toss through the table for Reggie!!!!!
DD: Yeah!!!! Do Lakers!!!!!
VJ: Oh shut up!!! Krazed just attacked Lou from behind! Irish whip into the guardrail he goes!!! Krazed throws him into the ring, the belt is up there!!! Krazed stomps on Lou in the corner and this crowd is louder than ever! It's chaotic out here! Prez Panther and Trish are back at ringside. Irish whip by Krazed and Lou goes to the buckle…Lou has been busted open and Downcast mounts Lou in the corner…1…2…3..4…5…6…7…8…9…10!!!
DD: Those counting faggots!!!
VJ: Now Reggie Miller is being taking to the hospital. That's good cuz I'm a Grizzlies fan. Downcast sets Lou on the top rope…superplex! Krazed is working together with Downcast but he grabs him by the throat…chokeslam on Downcast!!! And now Krazed is going for the ladder. He's bleeding from the mouth…
DD: You can see his mouth?
VJ: No but I can see the blood! Krazed grabs that ladder…he passes the limo…Trish is holding onto the ladder…Krazed and Trish having a tug of war over the ladder…Commish Foley just knocked down Trish…Prez Panther comes to her rescue and gets back body dropped through that car windshield by Krazed!!! Lou with a chairshot right to the head of Krazed…and there's one to the head of Foley! We've got both enforcers down and now Lou sets the ladder on the ring apron…Downcast baseball slides the ladder right into the midsection of Lou!!! And Downcast has the ladder now…he's climbing that ladder and he's gonna get the Title belt! Downcast is gonna be the new Champion…it's that Jaguar guy!!! He just climbed out of this raucous crowd and shoved the ladder down…OH!!!! Downcast just fell from the top of that ladder and through the Chinese announce table!!!!
DD: What's up with this fed and China?
VJ: Shut up. Jaguar has Lou and now Lou is climbing the ladder…what's this? Krazed is climbing back into the ring…and now he's climbing up the ladder!!! Krazed is climbing the other side of that ladder and now he and Lou are fighting over the title belt…Krazed is a bit higher than Lou and look on the floor…Downcast just pulled a ladder out from underneath the ring! Krazed and Lou are fighting on top of the ladder and now Downcast sets up his and he's climbing up the ladder with a steel chair…OH! He nailed Krazed with a chairshot and he fell from the ladder…Lou caught Downcast with a right hand to the back of the head…Downcast turns around on that ladder and now he's facing Lou…he grabs Lou be the head and hooks his arms…oh my he isn't! Yes he is!!! Total Dispear from the ladder and he lands right on top of that steel chair and this crowd is going crazy!!! Downcast has the title won and he's climbing the ladder of success…is he gonna get it…is he…who is that from the crowd? That's that man!!!! That man who said that he would make Lou and Downcast's lives a living hell!!! He pulls Downcast from the ladder…he has him by the throat…chokeslam over the top rope and to the floor! And now this guy has a steel chair…I'm being told his name is Rich Richman! He nails Lou in the head with a vile chairshot and Commish Foley and Prez Panther are trying to get him away from ringside…this is the craziest match in history! He's being lead away from ringside and now watch Krazed…he wasn't attacked and Lou and Downcast are out of it!!! He's going to climb the ladder…my God I think Krazed will be the new Champion!!! He's 1/2 and inch away from grabbing the World Title…look at that look of fear on Prez Panther's face…
(The lights go out and a red "A" shines over the crowd)
VJ: What the hell? Krazed had the belt won…and now a high beam of light is shining on the entrance…
DD: Oh my God Mad Dog is back from the dead!!! He's gonna kill me and Lou!!!
VJ: Look at the screen…somebody is standing behind the screen…
(Lightnign strikes the stage and an explosion goes off. Anarchy rips through the screen and the crowd goes crazy)
VJ and DD: OH MY GOD, IT'S ANARCHY!!!!
VJ: What is he doing here?!?!?!!? Anarchy hits the ring and he shoves Krazed off the ladder…what on Earth? Chairshot to the head!!! What is he doing…he runs off the ropes and slams Krazed's head right into the ladder!!!!! Downcast is back to his feet…Doomsday device!!! And now he stands over Crazy Lou's body…
(The lights go out and a red light covers the arena. When the lights come back on Anarchy is gone)
DD: He helped Crazy Lou!
VJ: I don't think so. I think he was sending a message to the NFWA that Anarchy is back. And now Prez Panther just threw water on Lou. Lou is busted open…he has to be hurt, the Dynasty has done everything in their power to get the win here tonight! Crazy Lou is gonna climb that ladder…he's climbing rung by rung! Is he gonna get the belt…will he get it and look at the belt…he's reaching…Lou got the belt!!! Damn it!!!
Ding Ding ding!!!
Announcer: Here is your winner and still NFWA World Champion: Crazy Lou!!!
VJ: Lou falls from that ladder, he gets the win thanks to Anarchy…
DD: Thanks to Anarchy?! Look at what Lou did with his bare hands. He damn near killed Krazed…Downcast is flat on his back, Reggie Miller is in the hospital!
VJ: Would you shut up? And now here comes the Dynasty out to the ring…wait a minute! Double C and DX are doing a number on Krazed and Downcast!!!! HHH is possessed!!! He's stomping away on Downcast and now look in at the entrance…here comes Shark!!! The Shark is on his way out to ringside!!!
DD: What is Flipper doing out here?!
VJ: He goes right after Double C and DX jumps him! HHH and Road Dogg are doing a number on…
(The limo's lights suddenly come on and the engine begins to rev)
VJ: Somebody is in that limo!! Who's in that limo…the driver's door opens up…it's Sniper!!!!!
DD: What?! But Panther and Jaguar…
VJ: Panther and Jaguar couldn't get the job done!!!! Watch Sniper and Panther is livid! Panther is telling Sniper to bring it and it looks like he will!!!! The Dynasty is clearing a path and the former Bomb Squad is going face to face…what the hell??!!!!! Sniper is stomping Downcast!!! Sniper is stomping Downcast!!! He and Panther lift him back up…Philly Death Drop!!! Damn it to hell!!!
DD: Hell yeah! Sniper has seen the light!!!
VJ: I can't believe this! I thought that the Sniper had character but obviously he has none! And now DX is holding Shark up…Sniper has a driver's hat! Sniper just spit right in Shark's face! I can't believe this! Sniper with a kick downstairs on Shark, and there's that move. That unusual cradle tiger bomb Sniper likes to use.
DD: He calls that the Sniper Bomb you moron. Get with it. It's one of the greatest moves in this business.
VJ: Downcast is up, and he lunges towards Sniper, but DX jumps on him! HHH with a Pedigree, and now a Sniper Bomb on Downcast. This is a damned assault by the Dynasty and DX! Downcast is outnumbered by a longshot. DX is lying Shark by the ropes. My God, what are Panther and Sniper going to do now?
DD: I don't know, but it'll be something great no doubt!!! Get them Sniper!!!
VJ: Oh, now you like Sniper, huh? Last week you were calling him all kinds of names…
DD: Wait just a minute, now! I've never said a foul thing about Sniper in my innocent life! You naysayer!!!
VJ: You really are an idiot! Panther and Sniper just hit Rolling Thunder on Shark and there's the Pen Toss by Lou on Downcast! The Dynasty has dominated and destroyed everyone here. It looks like the scene of a gang war out here. This is absolutely chaotic! Downcast and Krazed have been screwed out of the title, and Lou has a mic.
Lou: You see Downcast, I told you I was going to win. Krazed, I told you I would walk out of Indianapolis with the gold. I am still the man, and the greatest Dynasty ever in professional wrestling just made fools of all of you. Believe me, as long as P-Diddy and Sniper are running the show, the Dynasty will be on top, and I will be the man. I will be the myth. I will be the legend. And I will be NFWA World heavyweight champion.
Sniper: I guess you got played for the fool that you are, huh Downcast? How do you like the Dynasty now, you punk bitch! You are, and will forever be just 2nd best! You will never reach the status of greatness that the Dynasty possesses. How stupid can you be not to see this coming from a mile away? One thing you need to understand, that as long as there is air in the Bomb Squad's lungs, this sport will always be about the Sniper and P-Diddy! We are and will always be the best of friends, and there will now be harmony in DX 2000. There will be collusion between the Dynasty. And we will function as one well oiled machine. And we will now sit back, party the night away, and work our way to the Slam this Friday, where we all will enjoy watching Commissioner Foley or whoever form a team or some shameless strategy in hopes of bringing down the Dynasty. With Prez Panther, Trish Stratus, and Sniper working together, we will never be stopped. And we are backed by the baddest group in this biz, DX 2000, and the greatest world champion to ever lace em' up, Crazy Lou. So we welcome the NFWA to put together your finest and just bring it. I wouldn't advise you to pick Shark, Krazed or Downcast as your ring leader, because they'll all be out of commission for a while. And Shark, you wanted to know who was driving the limo the night you almost lost your life,and now you know. It was me!!!
VJ: Oh son of a bitch!!!!!!
DD: Shut yo mouth, fool!!!
Sniper: And what are you going to do about it? Absolutely nothing, because you can't! As a matter of fact, I suggest you pick up your last pay check, and hit the bricks. Because I am guaranteeing you this… If I ever get the chance to do it again, I'll make sure you don't ever get out alive!!! And that's not the right way. That's not the wrong way. That's the Dynasty's way! AND THERE WON'T BE ANY OTHER WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
VJ: I can't believe it. Panther has the mic!
Prez: Oh…um almost forgot. DX, you've been really, really, really good friends and great members of the Dynasty…that's why it really makes it hard for me to do this…Lou, Chris…
VJ: OH SHIT!!! What the hell! They just turned their backs on DX!!! What the hell is this!! Double C…pedigree on HHH! Crazy Lou with the Pen Toss on Road Dogg!!! My God!!! I can't believe what we are seeing here tonight! This is the biggest bunch of bullshit I've seen in my life! The Dynasty makes me sick!!! For Delaware Dave, this is Vince Johnson saying so long from Indianapolis!!!
©Copyright 2000 Panther187 Productions