Well, it's been a big weekend for the World Wrestling Federation, having just come off the "Super Bowl of sports entertainment" - Wrestlemania. The spectacle, the glitz and glamour, and most importantly, the most exciting matches performed by the very best the WWF has to offer . . . or at least, that's how it's supposed to be.
It's the afternoon after, and the disappointment I feel still lingers. There was a lot of hype for this, from constant promos to a nifty Flash-intro website to a video game bearing the name. Wrestlemania 2K, the first of the "millenium". The booking was haphazard, however, and the buildup either culminated too quickly, or began too late in most cases. And yet the McMahon magic still worked its charms upon the masses, and the phone lines and Internet servers all bent under the weight of the people's demand.
The pieces were all there. The Triple-Threat match for the Intercontinental and European belts featured two talented and experienced veterans in Jericho and Benoit, and a startling rookie phenom in Kurt Angle. The Triangle Ladder match promised to be a death-defying bumpfest, and according to Internet polls, was the match everyone couldn't wait to see, even over the main event. And that does bring us to the Main, doesn't it?
The one night return of Mick Foley, his last shot to get the Championship belt and justify all the abuse and pain he has suffered for Vince McMahon and for us . . . the People. Our own champion, the Rock, stood to reach his goal at what could be the pinnacle of his popularity. We all knew Big Show had no chance, and Triple H, while having an impressive reign, had reached the point where he could do no more for the belt. The only problem I foresaw with this match, you guessed it, was the involvement of the whole McMahon clan. Presented here are the results and some commentary to follow . . .
Match for match, WM2K had been sub-par. The duo of Bull Buchanan and Big Bossman went over on the Godfather and D'Lo Brown, both who are on the edge of getting over, and could have used the win to elevate themselves in the formidable WWF tag team bracket. The match itself was uninspired, and I don't blame the Pimp Bros. for not trying too hard, jobbing to THOSE two at the biggest PPV of the year would really sap my will to live too . . .
The thirteen-man Battle Royal was admittedly amusing, but with that many men all wandering around cracking other people in the head with cookie sheets, there isn't much room for actual wrestling. To his credit, Tazz really did stand out in this match, providing enough spots to almost satisfy my desire for actual workrate. The ridiculous amount of title changes in the fifteen-minute opus did detract from the match's value, in my opinion, and I don't think Hardcore did enough to earn the belt, or even his paycheck, and Tazz also could have used the gold to elevate his status. Putting the wrong men over would seem to be the trend for the night, with certain exceptions.
The Wrestlemania.com staff could only come up with one sentence for the next match, a tag bout between T and A and Headcheese. It reads, and I quote: "The team of Test and Albert (T&A), accompanied by Trish Stratus, got the victory when Test dropped an elbow off the top rope on Steve Blackman." That's about all that can be said, and even JR noted that they weren't on the same page. And I don't even want to TALK about the midget in the cheese suit. . .
In the first bright spot of the night, and the match that could easily take the Match of the Year for 2000, Edge and Christian defeated the Hardy Boyz and the Dudley Boyz in what turned out to be a Triangle Ladder and Table match. Mind-blowing risks were taken, and the Hardys and the Dudleys in particular made this match what it was. Excepting a sweet top-rope spear on Jeff Hardy, Edge and Christian really weren't much of a factor in this. The highlight of the match (and the night) was Jeff Hardy's Swanton Bomb on Buh Buh Ray Dudley off the top of a twenty-foot ladder, through a table. Pat of the Franchise's Wrestling Palace salutes all six of you!
The next . . er . . .match . . was the Catfight between Terri Runnels and The Kat. Now, with talents like Lita and Jacqueline, women who can actually work, this is the token female presence at WM2K. Barring that, it was a flesh-fest, with skimpy costumes torn and a screwjob ending that put Terri in the victory circle. Both Moolah and Mae Young interfered to the point of tedium, and this was something that could have been done away with, to give the other matches some more time.
Ah, but how the next match made up for that! The bout between Too Cool/Chyna and the Radicals damn near stole the whole show, in my opinion! There was psychology, with Saturn and Guerrero turning up the "dickhead heel" button to 11. The six competitors also turned up the workrate, and the fans were digging it immensely. Chyna impressed me with the effort she put into the match, from the ongoing psychology with Guerrero to the amazing end she put on the match, finishing the Radicals off almost single-handedly with two handspring back elbows, a powerbomb, and a sleeperhold into a neckbreaker.
I have read some reports that denounced the Triple Threat Two-Falls match as less than it could have been. I disagree wholeheartedly, and all three men put forth an effort worthy of Wrestlemania, in my opinion. Benoit picked up the first fall and the IC belt with a falling headbutt on Jericho, and Jericho subsequently pinned Benoit with a Lionsault, to pick up the European strap.
Next was a ridiculous squash of DX at the hands of Kane and Rikishi. We got two ASSRUBS of DEATH, all kinds of bullshit with Pete Rose and the Chicken, a chokeslam on Tori, and Too Cool dancing away. This match had no real buildup, no purpose, and no one's career was furthered. I guess this was the "spectacle", eh?
Finally, our cute little Main Event. It had potential to be amazing. The four men involved have all been in hot competition for the Heavyweight strap, and this match got the backstory and hype it deserved. However, right as the last days before WM2K drew near, a change was made. All four of the McMahon family attached themselves to a superstar, and made sure they would be involved heavily in the proceedings. This is where the true fault in this year's Wrestlemania lay, to put it right on the table.
As could be predicted, the outside antics of the McMahons diverted precious camera time from the match, and lent a tedious element of predictability to what could have been a nail-biter. Anyone over the age of four with half a working brain knew that Big Show didn't have a chance, but ANY of the other three could have been put over. Of course, we all expected Mick Foley to come out on top . . .and why is that? Because it would have been the right thing to do. It was the culmination of his dream, of all his hard work and bodily damage, to hold that gold up at WM2K, and be the WWF champ one last time. Not so much to ask, right? Hell, he wouldn't even retain the damn thing, there would be a tournament to determine a new champ and Mick would walk either way. Of course, Vince is Vince, and he couldn't do that for someone who had given him so much.
Instead, he chose to use this match as a vehicle to put him and his brood back where he believes they belong - right in the spotlight and featured in the company's main storyline. His heel turn allowed the reigning Triple H to hold onto the belt, regardless of the fact that the McMahon-Helmsley angle has grown tired, regardless of the fact that Mick just wanted that one last moment of glory.
This exorbiant display of selfishness is just what might undo Vince and Co., in the end. Shane is rather obviously much like his father, and when the company passes into his and Stephanie's hands, I don't really forsee a change in modus operandi. WCW is struggling to pull itself up by its bootheels, and Russo and Bischoff are guilty of the same vanity. ECW is just too small, and is too wrestling-oriented to really compete in the arena of "sports entertainment", in my opinion.
The point I am attempting to drive at is that Vince's whole audience is mostly made up of marks who want nothing more than to see the Rock get his hands on the gold, who want to see Chris Jericho and the Hardy Boyz all get straps as well. There is also a small minority of smarts and smarks that get off on what Chris Benoit and Kurt Angle can do, and underpushed mid-carders like Essa Rios and Tazz are capable of. What people don't want to see is Vince's ongoing need to be the center of attention, whether it's the Face in a Suit who's backing the People's Champion, or the Corporate bastard who'd sell his own daughter to the Undertaker just to get at Steve Austin. It's all been done, and quite frankly, it looks like it's about to be done again.
All I'm saying is that while this manner of storytelling may amuse the McMahons who are involved, eventually the talent is going to get fed up with jobbing to the heel champion who can't lose his belt no matter what happens, who are going to get fed up by getting wins by DQ because yet another McMahon runs in with steel chair in hand. Hell, why leave WCW when you've got the same things happening one step above? Hey, the pay's lower, but think of what the Rock could do for ECW . . .
Pat