THE ARF REPORT

ARF ARF ARF ARF ARF ARF!!! Translation – G'day everybody, It's that kool krazy kolm back with you for Arf Report number 5 million or something, I really should check that up and see how many I've done since I started doing it all the way back in…..October or something. Anyway, I have to apologise for no big-assed Arf Report last week but the accumulation of PPV match writing and those dreaded Summer exams meant that I couldn’t really find the time to fit it in, so I'm sorry. But, since I have not one but TWO free days, and the fact that I'm finished school for the Summer on Friday, means that I will be able to do a big long juicy report this week, trying to compensate for no Arf last week. But this weeks Arf Report will be ever so slightly different. In the past, I've kept the Arf Report strictly in-character and stuff, but this week, considering we have a fairly important election on, I think I'll be doing a little bit on that too. Maybe I can get some unofficial poll to see how it's all shaping up, and I'm trying my hardest to get this posted on Thursday so as to give the three candidates for the job a little bit of time to try and convince others to their side. And also, there'll be all the usual in-character material that rose me to the dizzying heights of mediocre fame amongst people on the internet that I don’t really know…..marvellous.

LATEST NEWS AND RUMOURS

ELECTION FEVER

There may have been no eggs or punches thrown here, but otherwise this election for position as the owner of the SWF has been extremely interesting and somewhat humorous from where I stand, and I think the current owner, Rob Webster, has done the right thing in moving the election forward a week to try and put an end to abuse and to try and restore harmony. Apart of the deal from the last elections was that there would be re-elections every three months, and I for one think that those three months have flown by. I think the majority of us were expecting Rob to continue on, but now it looks like that the Webster Reign-Of-Terror is over, for now. There are three men running for the position of SWF President, Two Scotsmen and an American. Before I start, I think it has to be said that Rob did a very good job as president, and despite the criticism he received from one or two people, I think he made things a lot better around here. He took over when the fed was in complete disarray and I thought it was going down the toilet, never to be seen again. But Rob saved it I think, and the only thing that worked against him was the lack of role-players he had, and the timing. Everyone else in charge had people role-playing, but Rob who took up the role when Exams were approaching at a rapid rate, had the unlucky fortune of only having a certain amount of people role-playing. Otherwise, I think he did a great job and he worked harder and put more effort in than any other owner I've worked under. Fair play. Right, here's the rundown of the candidates.

Ian Gardener

Mr.Ian-man was the one to begin the whole running for the election hulla-a-baloo by launching a manifesto that I don’t think really appealed to the masses. He promised to bring work to the federation and to try and get a near-fully active roster on the role-playing board. The concept of the idea looks very attractive as we are stuck with the same old faces on the role-play board every week, but I think I'd be forgiven for saying that he didn’t go about saying it the right way. Another striking part of Ian's manifesto to me was his desire to have a link to some wrestling site that would help increase viewers of the site and bring in new faces. He seems adamant that he would make the SWF work better, but a few problems remain. A number of attacks were focused on how the SWF was run by our current president Rob Webster, and attacks that on the most part, I would see as unfair. More references to have Reef (Pete M) chucked out of the fed were made, which also seemed unfair. And then there was the small exchange of words between Ian & Dan and Ian & Aussie Pete. As for possible voters for Ian, I honestly couldn’t tell you who would vote for him right now as either people seem to be angry with what he's been saying of people may see a better candidate out there.

Craig Russell

Craig, or Russell as he is known more commonly as, is one of the three or four originals of the fed that started in February of 2000. He's always been there and is probably known by practically everybody who's ever been in, or still is in the SWF. He's also been on the exec. teams of various different owners so he knows what it's all about, what to do and what not to do. He does have a respected opinion amongst everyone in the SWF, so he meets the requirements that might have him a people's choice leader. His manifesto doesn’t consist of anything special, he just believes that he would do a good job of running the federation and he gave a number of reasons, good reasons, why he could do it. I'm thinking that many of the experienced faces of the Fed who know Craig reasonably well, will give their vote to him as he proved by rational argument why he could handle it.

Craig Doyle

Doyle is the only one of the candidates that hasn’t finished puberty yet, unless Craig or Ian are hiding a terrible secret that none of us know about. Doyle ran in the last election and he got a few votes if my memory serves me correct, so I'm sure he's hoping to build on last times results. Doyle has been around for just as long as myself, and as far as I know he was an outsider looking in for a long period of time when Cam was in charge, so he's got enough experience to know what its all about. He, like Craig R, has stayed out of the war-of-words between Ian and others, trying to quietly pick up some votes. His manifesto concentrates on getting role-players back onto the board, but otherwise he looks happy with the way things are heading. I'm thinking that Doyle will pick up a lot of votes from the newer faces in the fed, and perhaps that'll be enough to have him elected. Only time will tell.

With that said, I think it's time we took a look at what you people had to say about the men running in the election. Who you were voting for, why you would vote for him and who wouldn’t you vote for. All these quotes will remain anonymous unless someone offers me lots of shiny pennies to know who said what.

"John Greg has promised people what they want,he has not gone around telling everyone to vote for him because that other guy sucks,or his mom gives good head,he has just told us what he is gonna give us,and the things he promises,if he can manage to ge them done,will make the fed a better place,but,its still a long time till friday,so maybe the others will get their fingers out and get campaigning."

"From what I know of the candidates, I think Craig has the least personal issues with other people running into this election, and excels at doing things you ask him to. If you ask Craig to do something, he does it, every time. Mr Reliability."

"If I don't vote for Craig, my name's not Joshua A Rya....wait...err...VOTE CRAIG!!"

"I'm not really definite on who I'm going to vote for. I know that I'm definitely not gonna vote for Ian for obvious reasons. But I'm not really that bothered if he gets in. Russ has a lot of experience and creative talent. Doyle know his stuff too. But I feel Russell is more ready for the job. Saying that I've seen his bad side in the past. Though that probably won't come into play. Neither of them have really great ideas. But they have good, simple ideas that will help the fed. Russell has just taken John Greg out of the SWF, so he has more free time on his hands. Doyle still has Oblivion and I think it would be a shame if he didn't carry on with Bliv and maybe even win the SWF Championship. Either way, these two are the best candidates in my eyes."

"erm, i dont think ill bother voting so. if i had to, Craig all the way though"

"well, i would go with Doyal, he has a good idea on wot we want"

"well i think craig will probably get my vote as he's the sensiblist"

"I will be voting for Craig Russel because I don't rate the other two. Ian's not right for the job, he is too selfish. I don't think Doyle is up to it yet. Craig's been here since day one and has always put in his all. Good luck Russel."

So there you have it, only about seven or eight quotes there, I'm too lazy to count so I'm just estimating, but the majority are putting their faith in a Rangers supporter. There's still a few undecided votes and most of the people I asked were unsure of who they were going to vote for, they were just going with their initial feeling. It could all change in the next couple of days, but right now it's Craig Russell who looks set to be SWF President.

READY TO RUMBLE

Ready To Rumble, one of the big five Pay-Per View's the SWF has, and this one really lived up to expectations with every single title match hailing a new champion, the rumble itself which allowed us to be re-acquainted with some stars of the past as well as stars of the future, and then the triple-threat main-event. Messiah and Michael Stevenson were both the contenders for John Greg's SWF title, and after John Greg was rushed to hospital, it left the perfect opportunity for The Cowboy to steal the win from Messiah, but not without the help of a masked man, who was later to be revealed as Reef on Monday Night Rage. It was a good night for The Commission in general as 911 successfully recaptured the InterContinental title, and he also managed to turn Brad Collins' girlfriend Winter on him too, it'll be interesting to see how 911 and Miss Winter get along as a team. It was also a good night for The Gimp, a Television AND Tag-Team Title win with the Krow helping on both occasions, and coming second in the Rumble meant that only the SWF and Hardcore titles are in between Gimp becoming the first Grand-Slam winner. We had a gruesome Hardcore match for the Hardcore title, in which SteveWiza looked to have picked up a career ending injury when he was thrown off the top of the Sydney Opera house, thus leaving Ryu Shade to capture the Hardcore title for the first time. And then, in one of the biggest matches of the year so far, Oblivion overcame the odds to win the Rumble and go on to face Michael Stevenson for the SWF title at Meltdown. Realistically when you look at all of the competitors in the Rumble, there was only ever going to be one winner and Oblivion dispatched of The Gimp to land a number one contendership spot, an interesting month ensues. I think the event was as good as it could possibly be, all matches had at least one active role-player in it which was something, but I cant help but feel if more people role-played and got involved from the roster, it could have been much better. The Rumble was undoubtedly the match of the night for me, including some great comic moments, but nothing made me laugh more than Michael Mole's quote, or at least I think it was him.

"Ryu Shade, You are the weakest Chink. Goodbye"

Classic SWF Moment. Arfman gives Ready To Rumble an 8 out of 10, third best event of the year so far methinks.

REEF HAS A CHANGE OF HEART

Who'd have thought it, eh? Reef returns to reveal himself as mystery booker, aligns himself with Brad Collins and a reluctant Messiah, Messiah is convinced that Reef is still a lying, cheating scumbag, Messiah eventually trust Reef, Reef then turns on both men, screwing Messiah out of the SWF title and joins The Commission. All this in a matter of three weeks too. Cameron Moyes promised that he wouldn’t be beaten by these personalities, and although it looked like they would get the better of him, all of a sudden they possess the two major titles in the federation and the man with all the booking power. The Commission are at their strongest, and with now with John Greg out of the frame, it's down to only Messiah, Brad Collins and Oblivion to try and prevent Moyes taking complete control. But the man who is affected most by Reef's joining Cameron Moyes is Messiah. The Saviour had a long and gruelling battle with Reef in the past after Reef quit UpRising, and the rivalry never died until John Greg defeated Reef in a buried alive match. When Reef returned and announced that he was the mystery booker, he also announced that he had changed and wanted to make a clean start, asking Brad Collins and Messiah to join him in the battle against Cameron Moyes. Collins accepted, and so did Messiah but he stated that he still didn’t trust him. After a couple of weeks of persuasion, Messiah eventually trusted Reef, but Reef immediately screwed over Messiah at Ready To Rumble in the shape of the masked man. Messiah is now thinking that he needs to settle the odds, and the re-emergence of one of the biggest feuds in SWF history is about to take heed. With Brad Collins and 911 still embroiled in battle, and now with Oblivion and Michael Stevenson about to get it on over the coming month, The Commission Versus The Personalities looks to be going into over-drive.

STABLES

THE COMMISSION

The Commission are looking at their strongest again, with the four-time SWF Champion and head-booker Reef now in their ranks, "The Cowboy" Michael Stevenson with the SWF Title around his waist, and 911 with the InterContinental Title AND Brad Collins' ex-Girlfriend, the mind games are well and truly underway there. Cameron Moyes now possess all the power after a solid month of disappointment and constant headaches from those dreaded personalities. The ambition was always to get the SWF Title back with The Commission, and with the help of Reef, Michael Stevenson did that at Ready To Rumble. But the Commission picked up a bonus along the way with the news that Moyes bought out John Greg's contract, leaving TAFKA The Assassin alone to heal from his injuries and retire from wrestling to spend time with the family. Things couldn’t really get any better for Moyes, all that's left for him to do now is to finish off Messiah, Brad Collins and Oblivion, but that'll be easier said than done. At the moment it's all looking rosy for The Commission, but with three big egos all in the same stable, you've got to wonder how long this will last?

MESSIAH & BRAD COLLINS

Not really a stable, not really a tag-team, Messiah and Brad Collins' relationship is a bit of a mystery right now, even to me. After Reef abandoned them at Monday Night Rage for The Commission, I don’t know where the pair will go from here. Whether they stay together as an alliance, just looking out for one another, go it together as a team to continue to take out Moyes and The Commission, or whether they part on good terms and pursue individual goals. After all, Collins still wants 911's IC Title and Messiah will have his hands full with Reef. I think it'll become clear over the coming weeks the angle that'll be taken, but I'd be lying if I said I knew what the story was.

dWo

The De-Generate World Order AT LAST recruited that member that I was talking about, and it came in the shape of the Former Hardcore Champion, and current Tag-Team Champion, Krow. Krow came down to interfere in The Gimp's match against "The Ice Man" Marc Vaughn, hitting DCPITG with a number of chair shots behind the referee's back, thus allowing The Gimp to win the TV Title for the first time. Krow then announced that The Gimp would be his partner in the tag-team titles match against Slane and Venom, which the pair won, and thus revealing that the Krow is now a dWo man. I'll be interested to see if anyone else is joined to the ranks of the dWo, and how this proposed feud between Krow and Chase Haifen works out. I'd like to see either Chase or Krow challenge for Slane's European title at some stage also.

MVWF REPS

YEY! The Reps are back! Well…..sort of anyway, there seems to have been a disagreement which I wouldn’t necessarily think is a bad idea for the development of Paddy O'Shea, but for the other three guys I don’t think it'll work. First of all, I'd like to stress that feuding with yourself really doesn’t work, so don’t do it for too long. Second of all, I think Paddy O'Shea and Jinx are going face, which is a good idea as Paddy always seemed a better face than heel to me. Thirdly, the other two heel guys should form a tag-team because the roster really needs it and they could take those titles. And lastly, I think it's a good idea to dump Jinx because I still think his presence will hold O'Shea back. I don’t think that Jinx will realistically get a run at the European title because there are others more deserving of it, and considering O'Shea and Jinx are controlled by the same person OOC, it just wouldn’t be fair. But as for O'Shea and InterContinental contender, I'm not sure if he'll be able to just walk back into the division after some time out as a storyline is in progress, but he's definitely ready for that push and he may feature prominently very soon.

CHAMPIONS

SWF Champion: "The Cowboy" Michael Stevenson

Michael Stevenson has completed week One as SWF Champion, and I'm thinking he'll complete a lot more in the future as long as he doesn’t role-play as badly as he did immediately after Ready To Rumble, that did more harm than good I think. But the stage is set for the Rumble winner Oblivion to perhaps cause a shock at Meltdown and defeat The Cowboy, and perhaps winning the SWF Title. I don’t think it's beyond him as he's worked very hard over the past few months, but I'd still be convinced that if Stevenson puts in one role-play of his usual standard per-week, it'll be enough for him to hold on to his title. Something that I think will hold Oblivion back from winning the SWF title is the fact that he's really leaping a division a little too early, as he never managed to win the InterContinental Title. It worked fine for Messiah but realistically, Messiah was in a different league that Oblivion is in now and I think the fact that he's not a big enough name to win the title might hold him back. It probably shouldn’t be the case, but it would work better for story lines and character if he had competed with the best more often. However, under new leadership soon, Oblivion certainly has a real chance if he plays his cards right, so I'm not going to write him off by any means. Messiah and Reef can be taken out of the equation for the title as I'm sure they'll have each other to contend with, and the division takes a huge loss in the shape of John Greg. The man with the four-month reign has had his contract bought-out by Cameron Moyes and he says he doesn’t want to wrestle anymore, which is a great shame because I now think that he was the best role-player the SWF have had. He may not have had quite the quality Armageddon, Ice Man or Messiah had, but I defy any of them to write a role-play every week of the same quality, because I don’t think they could. John Greg wrote good stuff almost all the time, and that makes him the best I think. And I also don’t believe for a second that he wont return to action at some stage in the future. I shall desist in my 911 push to the top for a while as after a chat with the man himself, he agreed, along with myself, that InterContinental level is much more enjoyable and that he didn’t want to. I'm sure a place is there for him as soon as he wants it.

InterContinental Champion: 911

I hope 911 doesn’t want to elevate to main-event status soon because I personally am enjoying the chance to write role-plays with a good storyline, title or no title. The feud continues between Brad Collins and 911, the InterContinental Title has changed hands once again as The Purple And White Wonder has also found himself a new valet in Miss Winter. Used to add a bit of depth to the feud, this storyline may result in a character change in 911 that would make it more like a HHH/Stephanie situation, leaving options open for the future. The feud looks set to continue to Meltdown, and look out for added twists along the way. Also, Paddy O'Shea deserves a mention here as I think it's time he made the leap. A fourth reign as European Champion wouldn’t do him much good and the only way he can go is up right now, and he may get installed into this feud at some stage to make it a three-way match at Meltdown.

European Champion: Slane

My calls have been answered. Readers of the report will know that I've wanted Slane as European Champion for quite some time now, and he eventually won at Monday Night Rage against Overdose and Mike B. The guy has talent, but in order to push himself up the ranks further, he'd have to role-play a little bit more regularly. I'd like to see Krow or Chase Haifen get involved in this division at some stage, and if Calypso role-plays more then she'll be well in there, but one question I'd have to ask is what the hell is the story with Mike B and that other guy. These guys were before my time in the SWF, and I don’t know if someone is taking the piss out of them or if they've really returned, I suppose I'll find out soon enough. It'd be good for the roster if these people actually do exist I guess.

Tag-Team Champions: The Gimp and Krow

Operation Grand-Slam is moving along nicely for The Gimp-meister, and helping to elevate Krow and create a feud between himself and Chase Haifen is also going well. Not much more to say about tag-title winning because there are very few teams involved, Inferno are rumoured to be making a return to action soon, and we might see AirBorne resurface over the Summer, I haven’t decided yet…..

Hardcore Champion: Ryu Shade

Ryu Shade as hardcore champion is the wise move after SteveWiza quit a few weeks ago which is a great shame, but Ryu Shade is the way of the future, and he's bound to get some good exposure as both The Gimp and Marc Vaughn need the Hardcore title around their wastes in the quest for the elusive Grand-Slam. Lack of new talent means no other contenders for the title right now.

TV Champion: The Gimp

TV title is the pits, nothing interesting is happening in it and it should be destroyed, DESTROYED I SAY. At least they could make it a woman's title or something, to try and promote more women to join or something. Just kill the title is all that I ask.

THE ARF AWARDS

Event Of The Week: Ready To Rumble

Well-Worked Pay-Per View, lots of action and plenty of titles changing hands.

Wrestler(s) Of The Week (In-Ring): "The Cowboy" Michael Stevenson

There were plenty up for this award this week, but the new SWF Champion gets my vote

Shock Of The Week: Reef turning on Messiah & Collins

Reef's unpredictable ways continue

Stable Of The Week: The Commission

Won two major titles, destroyed a couple of personalities and aligned with the head booker. Not bad.

Quote Of The Week: "Hehehe….Mule…." Homer Simpson

TOP 5 ROLE-PLAYERS

5) Chase Haifen

He's come back and looks a lot better than before. Bright future.

4) Slane & Venom

Good work from the new guys, but more may be needed over the coming months if they want to be elevated.

3) Oblivion

Solid performer but setting and content needs to be mixed up a little. Hopefully it will in up-coming feud.

2) MVWF Reps.

They're back and back with a bang. Three Role-Plays posted in as many days, good for the roster.

1) The Commission

They produced a quality Role-Play building up to Ready To Rumble, deserving of Number One.

ARF'S FINAL COMMENT

I hope you enjoyed the Arf Report this week, I completed it in just ONE DAY today, which is something I've not done before, I deserve a blue-peter badge for my efforts. It's exciting times for the SWF as we are about to elect a new leader, hopefully a leader that will get more people back on the role-play board again and maybe a recruiting mission wouldn’t go astray either. I shall see you all next week my friends, unless I get hit by a bus and die.

The Arf Report Was Filmed In Front Of A Live Studio Audience.

Created by Colm Collins.

Interslice Concept By Delly Wingus McArfster.

Forward Any Complaints to Peoplecandie@hotmail.com

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