Rating: R
Pairing: HP/DM
Archived: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/opposites-yet-attracted/ After release date will be posted on Snitchfiction(if it ever gets running again by the time release date is here).
Summary: Part of the Fuh-Q-Fest Challenge #27. After his seventh year, Dumbledore insists that Harry stay at Malfoy Manor, the home of his spy, Lucius. Draco and Harry are not happy with this situation at all. Why? (Starkindler)
A/N: Second FQF type fic Hope you enjoy reading it :) This is my first HP/DM fic so play nicely please!!! Thanks to my Beta Myk!!Who I so thoughtlessly didn't change this to until after she read it POSTED!!! *bursts into tears and drops to her knees* PLEASE FORGIVE ME MYK??
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“Sir, there has to be someplace else; anywhere but there.” Harry pleaded with Albus Dumbledore, looking imploringly at the great wizard. “Please, sir, I can stay here; I’ll work with the house-elves to stay out of the way and earn my keep. You can’t send me there; I’ll do anything you ask, but please don’t ask this of me.”
Albus Dumbledore looked at the young man over the top of his half-moon spectacles, sighing at the distraught young man before him. “I do apologize, my dear boy, but there is no where else. They are good people; they may not be the nicest, but the Malfoy’s are good people. They have been spies for me for over twenty years. They will allow no harm to come to you. The best part of this plan is that Voldemort wouldn’t think to look for you right under his own nose. You must understand that this is the best defense we have for you. Tell me, Harry, why are you so against going there?” Looking imploringly at Harry, Dumbledore calmly waited to see what he had to say.
Harry started at the question, reliving a memory from 6th year, a flashback he would have much rather not have had to deal with at all.
~~Flashback (close to the end of 6th year)~~
Harry arrived at the Astronomy Tower out of breath; he was running late, but it wasn’t his fault. He was having some problems with one of the first years. He had been comforting the young lad, who was terribly homesick, and he could not get away in time to keep the promised meeting time.
When Harry entered his destination, his worst nightmare had come true; he walked in and saw his boyfriend, of almost a year, kissing someone else. His world shattered around him. Starring blankly at the scene before him, he snapped.
“How could you?!” Harry screamed with tears welling up in his eyes, running out of the room before the other boy could say anything. If he ever saw Draco Malfoy again, it would be too soon. Draco never attempted to run after him; he knew he had no defense for what he had done. But whether Harry knew it or not, Draco did care very deeply for the Gryffindor.
~~End Flashback~~
Shaking his head to clear out of his flashback, he looked at the headmaster, and with a voice as calm as he could manage, simply stated, “I’d really just rather not sir. It’s a very personal reason, and I hope you’ll understand that, I just can’t.”
Dumbledore looked at the young man in front of him with sympathy. “I do understand, Harry; I really do. But under the circumstances, we don’t have any other choice. I am sorry; I understand it must be painful, but we have no other alternatives that are as safe as this one will be for you.”
Harry sighed heavily; he had hoped something else would be available. But to have to spend the summer holidays with the Malfoy’s was not something he looked forward too. He hadn’t so much as even looked in Draco’s direction since that fateful night when he walked in on him, and whomever the other was, snogging. His heart was broken that day. He felt he would never feel for anyone the way he felt for Draco; he loved him. He really did. Now that his heart was broken, he was going to have to live with him for the next three months. This was not going to be easy.
Finally Harry spoke. “I understand, sir; really I do. I don’t like it, but I understand and will deal with it to the best of my ability. How am I to get there, sir?” Dumbledore’s heart broke to hear the pain in the young man’s voice. Harry had never been very good at hiding his emotions. Despite not saying anything, Albus knew why Harry didn’t want to go. He knew Draco had broken Harry’s heart, and Albus was truly upset that Draco could do such a thing to Harry. Harry was such a kind and gentle spirit, just like his mother was.
“You’ll be given a port-key the day after everyone leaves; it will deposit you in the main library at Malfoy Manor. I’ll bring it to you shortly before lunch, so have everything ready.”
“Yes, sir. Thank you. Well, I’ll be going back to the dorms now. I have one more N.E.W.T to study for that I must take tomorrow.” Harry tucked his hands in his pockets and turned, dropping his head he walked out of the room in a complacent manner. He didn’t know what was going to happen, but he really didn’t want to dwell on it either.
Harry finally made it back to his room. As head boy, he was glad he had a room to himself; although, he did share a common room with Hermione. She was, of course, studying. Things weren’t the same as they were before. There was a large rift between the now estranged best friends. Over Christmas, there was a Death Eater attack while the Weasley family was on a shopping trip to Diagon Alley. The only survivors of the attack were Ginny and Bill; all the other Weasley’s perished in the attack. This drove a huge wedge between Harry and Hermione. Now they merely tolerated each other. Being together in any other way then they were now just brought up too many painful memories for both of them. Harry acknowledged her presence, and then fled to his room.
Harry really wished he had someone to talk to right about now. He was literally alone, with no one to confide in. The only one he would trust with this type of news was dead. Sirius had also been caught and given the dementor’s kiss. Remus, well, he was never really close with Remus; sure he liked him, but that’s about where it stood. Now with Ron gone too, that left no one for Harry. He still kept an eye out for Hermione. He knew she was seeing Terry Boot, a 7th year Ravenclaw. He was happy that she had someone; even if it meant he had no one.
Harry was laying on his bed thinking. In only three days he would be at Malfoy Manor with the love of his life that had thrown it all away. He wasn’t sure how to feel about that. He would be graduating. He never had to return to the Dursley; though he’d almost prefer to go back to them than to Malfoy Manor. Resigned to his fate, he got up and studied for about three hours. He had to make his appearance at dinner, but ate very little. That night he got very little sleep. Memories of his near year with Draco plagued him throughout the night. Luckily for him, he knew he would get through his last N.E.W.T. It was Transfiguration.
The day everyone left, Harry had one hell of a bad day. Memories plagued him again, giving him no reprieve from the past..
~~Flashback (Just before Christmas Hols 6th Year)~~
The hands that were all over his body were driving him crazy; hot moist lips only adding to the effect as well. Moans from two different bodies filled the room. Light and dark, contrasting hair colors to reflect the contrasting personalities of the owners of the moans, looked at one another's faces, never stopping their ministrations. Harry’s green eyes reflected love and desire, while Draco’s silver-gray eyes reflected need and lust. They looked into each other’s eyes for only a moment before Draco captured Harry’s lips in a searing kiss. Draco knew he had unbelievable power over Harry, and he always used it to his advantage; he wasn’t a Slytherin for nothing.
“Harry, I want to feel myself cum deep within you; I want to fuck you raw.” Draco said without missing a beat, nearly growling in his arousal.
“Yes, Draco; I want you to do that. Fuck me, please; fuck me up the arse just the way you want to,” Harry begged. Harry knew Draco had power over him, and at times like this, he didn’t mind.
Draco grabbed the lube from his robes, oiling up his fingers, and without any preamble, shoved two of them into Harry’s arse. Gasping at the sensation, Harry arched into the fingers penetrating him, forcing them deeper. It didn’t so much hurt, as it was a pressure that wasn’t there before. Draco kissed Harry harshly. Most of the time they were gentle together, but sometimes Draco got power hungry and liked it rough, and it seemed now was one of those times. After a few strokes with the fingers, Draco added another one. Quickly tiring after a few strokes with the three fingers, he pulled them out, oiled his shaft, and turned Harry over on his hands and knees. He grabbed Harry’s hips and guided himself in, and in one stroke was deeply imbedded in Harry to the hilt. Harry gasped - gods that hurt -, but he did enjoy it since it wasn’t often that Draco was rough. Pain soon gave way to pleasure, and Draco was slamming into Harry violently and quickly.
Draco finally wrapped his hand around Harry’s cock and jerked a few times, causing Harry to cum hard into Draco’s hand. Draco soon followed, grunting and still thrusting with each pulse to make his orgasm last longer. It was times like these that Harry knew better then to voice his emotions or even show them. Draco would get angry if he did. So he stayed there, quietly collecting himself. Draco recovered quicker and got dressed, leaving Harry there alone. Sometimes Harry really did wonder what the other wanted out of what they had, and how he truly felt about him.
~~End Flashback~~
Harry again shook out of his thoughts. He was in the common room to the head boy/girl rooms, and dwelling on the past was not going to help him in anyway. He was not looking forward to tomorrow’s journey. He wondered how he was going to make it through this time with the blonde so impossibly close to him. Oh how hard this was going to be. He also had no idea what, or even if, the elder Malfoy knew about the relationship they had once shared. Harry was more than willing to forgive Draco, but he would be damned if he would be the one crawling back and begging for the relationship. The ball was in Draco’s court, and from the events of the last year, he was pretty sure the Slytherin wasn’t coming back into his life. Ron had helped him get over this before his early demise. What brought back all this turmoil was the fact that he was going to have to stay at Malfoy Manor for, at the very least, the summer. Harry had the summer to figure out what he wanted to do with his life. He had five offers on the table. University, Quidditch (three different teams), Auror, Ministry, or apprenticeship at Hogwarts. Harry had until his birthday to make up his mind on what he wanted to do. He would take the time to ask Lucius Malfoy his opinion on the matter. After he found out about the man being a spy for so many years, he grew to respect him. He would at least listen to the man’s input. He was already leaning heavily towards the apprenticeship though.
The day finally arrived that Harry would have to depart for his dreaded destination. He was sulking around the castle after breakfast before he decided to suck it up and attempt to make the best of the situation. He made his way to his rooms and found Dumbledore waiting for him.
“Are you ready, Harry?” Dumbledore asked patiently.
“Ready as I’ll ever be.”
“Very well; I’ll pop in around your birthday to see if you’ve come up with a decision about your future then, all right?” Harry nodded his responseB, and Albus shoved the port-key into his hand, causing the familar tug behind Harry's navel.
Upon landing, Harry thought he was going to be sick, not from mode of travel, but of the thoughts of having to put up with Draco in the same house as himself. Harry opened his eyes only to close them again in a painful way. Draco was not only in the house, but also in the same room that the portkey had delivered him to. Oh how this was not his day.
“What are you doing here, Harry?” Draco asked with malice in his voice.
“What do you care, Malfoy? And for your information, I would really rather not be here, but apparently Dumbledore and your father have deemed this place the safest place for me for the summer,” Harry replied, not even trying to hide the pain or discomfort that he felt at the moment.
“Your staying here? At my house? FOR THE SUMMER?!” Draco was in shock; he wasn’t going to take this information sitting down, that was for sure. Just as he finished his little tantrum, his father walked into the room. Draco spun around, giving the man his best glare. “What is the meaning of this, father, and why didn’t you inform me about this? I could have made sure I was gone before he got here!”
Draco’s words cut Harry to the core. So there it was, he truly didn’t care. Now Harry could move on. He could handle the fact that Draco didn't want him now that he saw the lack of emotions in his eyes. Oh it still hurt, but at least now he knew.
“Draco, you will mind your tongue in my presence; this is still MY house, and I will do what I see fit to do. I do not need to inform you of anything. Harry is staying here for the summer, plain and simple, deal with it.” Lucius turned to Harry; he saw pain reflected as Harry looked at Draco, but said nothing of it. Whatever it was, it was between the two boys, not him. “Welcome to Malfoy Manor, Harry; follow me, and I’ll show you to your rooms.” Harry cast a last glance at Draco before casting a levitating spell on his trunk, having it follow him and Lucius out the door, and into the rest of the house.
Lucius led Harry through many hallways and stairways until they reached the rooms that would be Harry’s. It so happened that they were 4 doors down from Draco’s rooms as well. This really was not his day, what so ever. Lucius had a house-elf bring him some lunch up, and then informed him that dinner was promptly at 7, dress robes preferred. With that, he left Harry to his own devices. Harry knew the Dark Lord always announced his visits, so he wouldn’t have to worry about walking into the dining room to find him sitting comfortably in a seat there.
Harry had no more memories flood him after he saw Draco’s reaction to his being there. With all the resolve he had, he managed to convince himself it was time to move on. He even managed to do just that. At dinner Draco could only stare at Harry, and Harry had not responded at all to this course of action. It had hurt Draco terribly. Harry didn’t care if it had hurt Draco; he knew it should have bothered him somewhat, but whether it did or not was none of his concern. Harry turned and started to discuss his possible future with Lucius and was very eager to hear the man’s advice.
The summer passed quickly, and all too soon Harry’s birthday was upon them. Dumbledore came as he said he would bringing his gift from Remus. The man had sent him a gift. Harry felt very odd about that. He was by no means close to Remus, but Remus was one of his parent’s best friends. Harry informed Albus of what he had decided to do, so it was arranged that Harry would leave Malfoy Manor on August 29 to begin his apprenticeship with Remus for Defense Against the Dark Arts.
When Harry returned to his rooms after studying in one of the numerous libraries in Malfoy Manor, there was a present on his bed. He had already opened the ones from Albus, Remus and Lucius, all books he would need actually, and he was grateful for the starting collection of books he had gotten for his chosen field of study. He approached the gift carefully; he had no idea who it was from. There was a piece of parchment beside it. Deciding that he should open the letter first, Harry opened the parchment, reading what it had to say. It simply read:
Harry,
I’m sorry. Please forgive me.
Draco.
Harry looked at the gift without opening it. He didn’t want anything from Draco, nothing at all. He had thrown it all away, for what? A meaningless snogging session with someone he never even bothered to go out with after? He would never know, and he didn’t care. He grabbed a piece of parchment and a quill, sitting at a desk to write a note back to the blonde boy. After he reread it to make sure it got the point across, he took it and the gift, leaving them outside Draco’s rooms.
The next morning, Draco found the gift unopened with a piece of parchment sitting with it. He picked them up, going back into his room to read in private. Silent tears rolled down his face when he read the note Harry had written.
Draco,
Yes, you are sorry. You threw away my heart; I will never have it back, and you will never see it again.
Harry.
Chapter 2
He couldn't believe the mess he'd gotten himself into. He hadn't left
his rooms all day. After dinner there was a soft knock on the door. He
got up to answer the door it was his father. Stepping away from the
door he threw himself unceremoniously onto his bed.
Lucius had noticed when his son answered the door his eyes were red and
puff, as though he'd been crying. Lucius closed the door behind him as
he entered the room. Lucius also cast a few spells for privacy. He made
his way over to the bed that graced the middle of the room. He sneered
as he noticed the slobber tracks all over the silk pillows. He knew his
son must really be upset to go through all of this and not clean
himself up at all. Lucius went over to the desk that was on the west
wall and pulled the chair over to the bed. He reached over placing a
gentle hand on his son's shoulder. When he did his son sobbed openly.
'Oh, this is bad, well, we need to deal with whatever it is' Lucius
thought to himself.
"Draco," Lucius started softy, "what's wrong?" Lucius was truly
concerned for his son. No matter what happened outside of the house,
how he acted towards people outside of the confines of his home, Lucius
was a very caring man to those that mattered to him. Draco was his
pride and joy and it cut him deeply to see him so upset. Lucius waited
the few minutes for his son to collect himself enough to speak.
"It's all my fault, I've hurt him so deeply, he hates me and I can't
blame him at all for it." At the end Draco broke down into heart
wrenching sobs as well as hitting his fists against the bed. Once again
his sobs died down only this time they were replaced with anguished
screams. They pulled at Lucius' very soul; it broke his heart to see
his son in such pain. He'd do what he could but he was quite certain
this was something Draco would have to work out on his own.
"Who hates you Draco, you have to tell me what happened. I can't help
you unless you tell me the whole story." Lucius said his voice laced
with concern for his heir once the screams died down.
Draco calmed himself down a little more before rolling over and sitting
up pulling his knees into his chest and wrapping his arms around them
resting his chin on top of the jumble of limbs. Closing his eyes and
taking a few deep breaths while Lucius waited ever so patiently.
"Well, you remember I told you I had a boyfriend in sixth year right?"
Draco's voice breaking every so often from the strain of trying to stay
clam so he could explain to his father. Lucius nodded the affirmative.
"You said you two had a fight and split up, but you never told me whom
it was that you were seeing." Lucius said confirming to Draco that he
had remembered what his son had elected to tell him. Draco closed his
eyes and winced when he'd heard. He knew he hadn't told his father the
whole truth, now was the time to come clean.
"Well, first off, I misled you about most of that and I am sorry for
that father, I just didn't think you'd understand." Regret was thick in
his words, Lucius knew this was going to take a while so he summoned a
house- elf and had them bring up some tea and cakes for this
discussion. After the house-elf brought the tea, Draco took a sip and
continued on with his tale.
"Well, I was seeing Harry dad." Draco smiled at the memories of the
good times they'd had together. "Oh father, he was wonderful to me. He
treated me well, listened to me, it really was perfect." Suddenly a
scowl appeared on his features. "I screwed it up father" Draco said
sadly. "I messed it all up and Harry hasn't spoken to me civilly since,
not that I blame him for it at all." Draco ended in a whisper that
Lucius could have sworn came from a broken man.
"What did you do Draco, what happened?" Lucius asked softly trying not
to upset the delicate state that his son was in. Draco laughed a
mirthless laugh.
"I kissed someone else, and Harry walked in on us." Tears were rolling
silently down his face.
"Draco, why would you do such a thing if Harry were as good to you as
you say?"
"I was scared" Draco whispered. "I was scared of how deeply I felt for
him. I had to push him away, it hurt so much to do it, but at the time
I felt I needed to. I wasn't ready for those kinds of feelings yet."
Draco started banging his head on his knees chanting softly to himself
over and over again, "stupid, stupid, stupid." Lucius felt bad for his
son.
"So what brought all this to where we are right now?" Lucius asked his
son softly moving over to the bed rubbing comforting circles on his
back. Draco slightly uncurled himself and leaned against his father
hard lean body and rested his head against his father's shoulder.
"I left a present for him in his rooms yesterday with a note saying
that I was sorry." Closing his eyes trying to hold the tears, but they
didn't obey they fell anyway. Draco reached into his pocket and pulled
out the crumpled paper and handed it to his father. "I got the present
back with this note on top; he didn't even open the gift father. I
messed up really bad this time. I don't know how to fix it. I thought I
could but I can't, he hates me now and I love him father." There was a
wild look in Draco's eyes. He looked like a caged animal trying to
escape.
Lucius read the note. This was not a good situation, not good at all.
Both the boys, no, young men were hurting, this much was obvious. Could
he do anything to mend the situation? Probably not. This was something
they had to work out for themselves. It would take time, and they both
needed to heal. It was that simple.
"Well, I hate to say it Draco, but I think the only thing that will
help this situation is time and healing. I also don't think how you
reacted to him arriving helped at all." Lucius sighed heavily, this was
going to be rough on Draco, that was for certain, but he'd put it all
on himself. "Draco did you ever once try and explain how you felt to
Harry?" Draco shook his head no to the question. "Well, that would have
helped out immensely." Trying not to sound too condescending. "We'll
get you through this Draco and with any luck you and Harry will be back
together again." Lucius said trying to cheer up his son. "Why don't you
lay down and get some sleep, we'll talk more tomorrow all right?" Draco
nodded then lay down and Lucius kissed his forehead and undid the
spells and left the room quietly.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The following morning was full of tension, as usual; at least this time
Lucius knew why it was there.
"Good Morning Harry, are you going to be studying again today?" Lucius
asked politely. He wasn't going to be angry with Harry for hurting his
son when his son really did actually deserve it this time for once.
"Yes sir, if that's all right, did you have something you needed me to
do for you?" Harry asked. Harry had come to respect the elder Malfoy.
He'd given Harry sound advice all through the summer so far, he was
willing to do just about anything the man asked of him. The first
thought that ran through Lucius' Slytherin mind was to get the boys
talking again, but he knew from experience it was too soon for that for
either of them. So on to something else he guessed.
"Well I was wondering if you wouldn't mind looking up some potion
information for me today?" Harry's eyes lit up at the request. He
didn't mind research hell; he didn't even mind potions all that much as
long as Snape wasn't teaching them.
"Of course I wouldn't mind doing that for you Mr. Malfoy, what
information did you need?" Harry spoke genuinely interested.
"Well, as I was in bed last night thinking of this whole Voldemort
situation I remembered I thought I'd read something about a soul
binding potion, as well as a magical reduction potion." Lucius spoke
thoughtfully, he knew he'd heard of something to that effect, it was
simply a matter of finding them and making them and then getting the
crazy snake-man to drink them. "I can't remember though for the life of
me where I've read the information though. I do apologize for that, but
I will also have Draco looking up the information as well since we have
so many books, you'll need the help." Lucius noticed the flinch when
he'd mentioned Draco's name.
Harry thought for a few minutes before coming firmly to a decision.
"Mr. Malfoy, would it be possible to bring Hermione here to help? She's
a whiz when it comes to research, a hundred times more efficient then
I'll ever be." Harry knew the answer was going to be no but he had to
at least try. He'd seen the mass amounts of books the library held, and
that was only the main library, each sitting room had at least 2
bookshelves loaded with even more books. This was going to take a
while, that was for certain, and working with Draco well, he could hope
the blonde would work in rooms other then the one he was in.
"No Harry, I'm afraid not, you know that no one including your best
friends can know where your staying, it's for the best." Lucius
admonished softly, he couldn't blame Harry for trying. "Well then, I'm
off, good luck in your search. I'm sorry that it's just going to be you
and Draco on the task currently. With any luck you two will get lucky
and find them quickly." Lucius stood to leave before he remembered he
had to tell Harry a little more information on the potions. "OH! Before
I forget, the binding potion binds then soul to the person so it can
not leave if the body is destroyed. If Voldemort had this potion in his
system the first time you encountered him, he'd be long gone, but
that's neither here nor there at the moment. The magical reduction
potion reduces the amount of magic one has access to. If we can get
both of these potions into Voldemort then we'll be able to defeat him
quite easily. I suspect even Longbottom would be able to rid the world
of Voldemort if we had the potions in him." Lucius smiled kindly at
Harry wished him luck and then left for the day to the ministry.
Harry slowly finished his breakfast then started to head towards the
main library. When he entered he saw Draco sitting at one of the few
study tables that littered the room. The room was done in deep rich
reds and dark woods. All the chairs were overstuffed and comfortable
for hours of studying and research with minimal aches and pains to
follow. Harry noticed Draco had about ten books on his table to start
with. Harry made his way to the opposite side of the room that Draco
occupied. Harry saw a brief hurt look cross Draco face but he couldn't
be bothered with it, Draco had made his bed now he could lay in it.
Harry selected fifteen books to start and sat at a table and began the
long hard process of searching for potions that existed but the
location was questionable.
The day passed quicker then either young man had realized, and soon
Lucius had joined in with the research. When Lucius had entered he
noticed the boys at opposite ends of the library and shook his head
lightly. He'd hoped this would help, but there was a lot of books to go
through so all hope was not lost. Lucius made a decision that over the
weekend he would corner Harry and have a little talk with him. Lucius
setting his plan in motion, it was only Tuesday so he had plenty of
time to come up with how to approach the subject without making it look
as though Draco had asked him to do it even though Draco hadn't asked
him to do so. He'd learned over the years that Draco's pride would get
in the way and he would suffer quietly before he would ever admit he
was wrong. From what he'd known about Harry, he was the same way.
Lucius has his work cut out for him.
The rest of the week flew by in a flurry of books and parchment and
nothing had been found on either potion yet. After breakfast on
Saturday Lucius requested for Harry to join him in his private study
before starting research for the day. Draco had eyed him suspiciously,
he wanted to know what that was about, but let it go for now, he'd find
out later.
Lucius motioned for Harry to sit in the chair across from the desk.
Harry sat with a heavy sigh, he knew this wasn't going to be plesant
whatever this little meeting was for.
"Harry I wanted to talk to you about a few things that I found out."
Lucius started, Harry knew this wasn't going to be good, the subject
was being eased into.
"All right" Harry replied hesitantly questions crossing his face more
quickly then anyone would be able to answer them if they'd been voiced.
"Harry, Draco told me what happen, both in sixth year and then on your
birthday." Lucius tried to approach the subject as gently as he could
because he wanted some answers. He watched as Harry turned red with
embarrassment then with anger and this surprised him.
"Did he tell you whose fault it was or did he just automatically blame
me for everything?" Harry spat out obviously mad about having this
brought up to him.
"Oh, trust me Harry, he told me who's fault it was, and he didn't blame
you at all. He admitted and I wholeheartedly agree the blame lies
squarely on his shoulders." Lucius reassured the young man he wasn't
blaming him for the situation.
"Then why are you dredging up memories I'd rather leave in the past Mr.
Malfoy? Quite frankly I don't see who this is any of your business,
your son did what he did and ripped my heart out!" Harry was near
tears; it still hurt to remember. Harry stood to leave, but was stopped
by when Lucius spoke to him in a very soft tone he'd almost missed.
"He loves you Harry, he was scared." Harry froze.
"I can't forgive him for what he did, love or not. I died that night
and then when I saw his reaction when I arrived here, that cemented the
fact he didn't ever care for me at all. If he'd reacted differently
when I arrived maybe we'd have a new starting point. But not after the
pure hatred I heard in his voice. I'm sorry." Harry left the room and
went to the library and started to do some more research.
When Harry entered the library, Draco could feel the waves of hurt
pouring off of Harry. Harry was really upset, Draco would give anything
to be able to comfort him but he knew better. He knew that if he tried
that he'd be rejected. He needed to find out what his father had done.
Gathering all his resolve Draco stood and left the library in search of
his father.
Draco tracked down his father, still in his study and still with his head in his hands. Draco’s eyes narrowed at his father.
“What did you do father?” Draco’s tone was accusing, his father looked up and met his eyes and then Draco knew what his father had done. “It wasn’t your place to talk to him about this father, it’s none of your business, he probably thinks I put you up to it! How could you?” Draco then stormed out in a flurry of robes and stalked back to the library.
When the doors slammed open, Harry looked up and his eyes met Draco’s for the first time in well, almost a year. Harry opened his mouth to speak since he saw that now Draco was upset. ‘Lucius is on a roll today’ thought Harry. Harry closed his mouth deciding against saying anything to the blonde.
“Potter, Harry” Draco started, no scathing tone evident, only sincerity. “I’m sorry my father pulled himself into what is quite obviously my problem, I swear to you as a Malfoy I didn’t put him up to it.” Harry held up his hand stopping Draco where he was.
“Number one Malfoy” Harry spat the name “you swearing on your name means nothing to me, secondly I know your father did it on his own accord so no need to explain. Now if you don’t mind I’m getting back to this research.” Harry broke eye contact and went back to the book. Draco sighed, but at least Harry had spoken to him. That was at least a start. Draco went back over to his table. An hour went by before Lucius finally joined them, both young men shooting glares at him. He knew he’d been wrong, but he had to try.
A couple of hours passed and after they all had lunch Draco made a decision. He needed to talk to Harry. It was now or never. Draco went over to where Harry was and sat down quietly and waited until Harry looked up at him. “Harry, I, well, um, I feel like I, no, I know that I owe you an explanation for what happened. Will you?” Draco was getting flustered at his inability to not stutter at this point. Closing his eyes to try and calm himself down, he opened them and set himself in pure determination. “Will you hear me out so I can explain? I just need you to hear why I did what I did, if you never want to speak to me again, that’s fine, but please Harry, I need to explain it at least to you. I owe you that much.” Draco got it all out with such sincerity. Harry thought about it for a few minutes before coming to a decision.
“You have ten minutes Malfoy, I will listen to what you have to say but don’t expect anything else from me. Is that understood?” Harry said in a flat voice. Lucius sat at his table and inwardly smiled, it may not have been his place to get involved but at least now Harry would hear Draco out. Draco sighed and nodded his head.
“Yes, Harry I understand perfectly, ten minutes, and I do thank you for agreeing to hear me out.” Draco said while clasping his hands together on the table and twiddling his thumbs. “This isn’t easy for me but I’ll try and get everything out in the ten minutes.” Breathing in deeply and exhaling, preparing himself for his confession, he started. “I’m going to start by saying, I am so sorry I hurt you Harry, I had no right to do that, but at the time I felt it was for the best.” Closing his eyes collecting himself, this was going to be more painful then he originally thought. He opened his eyes and looked directly into Harry’s “I did it to hurt you, but it killed me to hurt you like that. I” Draco stalled, closing his eyes and not daring to look at Harry. “I was scared” Draco then chanced a look at Harry who was still looking at him stony faced. Draco sighed again. “I was scared because I was falling in love with you and I was scared because I didn’t feel like I deserved you. I still love you Harry and I am so sorry for how I acted when you came here, but I didn’t know what else to do. I was scared of how I felt a year ago, I still am scared of it, I can admit that now. Gods Harry I am so sorry I hurt you like that, please try and understand, it was too much too soon for me. It wasn’t your fault at all, you were perfect, everything I could ever hope for in a life partner, and I went and threw it away because I was scared.” Draco had tears rolling down his cheeks unbidden. He didn’t care if Harry saw him cry. Harry’s eyes softened slightly at the end of the confession. He knew that kind of pain.
“Why didn’t you just talk to me instead of just ripping me apart like that then? Do you realize with what you did you have frozen my heart? I can never love anyone again.” Harry was calm, but the pain flared in his eyes. “All you had to do was tell me, we could have separated for a while, maybe forever, but I would have been able to love again that way, even you I would have been able to love. But because of how you decided this needed to be done, you’ve scarred me for life.” Harry got up and fled the room having no idea where he was going only that he needed to get out of the house.
A few hours later and Harry was in the stables combing one of the stallions that was there. He’d found it quite therapeutic and was feeling better. He still hurt but he was working out the aggressions by combing and washing horses. This was how Lucius found him.
“Harry dinner’s in an hour” he spoke softly to Harry not sure where he stood with the young man. Harry just nodded his acknowledgment and carried on with the horse. Lucius sighed and left the stables. He knew now he would get no where with Harry, he’d have to try with Draco.
Harry made it in just before dinner. He’d said nothing since his tiff with Draco and he was happy that way. Draco looked at him longingly. ‘This is it’ though Lucius. I need to give them both Veritaserum and lock them in a room overnight. His mind set he’s getting in touch with Severus and gets the potion from him after he explained the situation to him.
Dinner was a long-suffering affair for everyone there. When it was finally over Lucius made his way to his study and Harry went to the library to research some more. He contacted Severus who floo’d over immediately and Lucius explained the whole situation and by the end Snape was nearly rolling on the floor laughing in hysterics.
“They are both too stubborn for their own good. But I will assist.” Severus chuckled after he’d calmed down slightly and pulled the vial from his robes and handed it to Lucius. “Three drops in a glass of water or pumpkin juice should be plenty for the night they are both pretty small still. Have a good night my friend.” The Potion’s master left in a flurry of robes and floo powder.
Lucius sent a house-elf to get the boys about nine that evening figuring everyone could do with a break from what they were doing. He sent another elf to get a room ready for the boys. One of the more posh guests rooms.
When the boys arrived, there was just as much hostility from Harry as earlier. Lucius had them both sit down and gave them each a glass of pumpkin juice and a scone.
“Now I wanted to find out how the research is going, we haven’t sat and talked since we started and I’d like to know what we’ve all found out so far.” Lucius needed to make sure they drank the juice since it was laced. Like a charm both boys took a drink to avoid talking for as long as possible and wound up drinking the whole thing in one gulp each. Lucius inwardly smiled, now he just had to wait for about three to five minutes and the potion would be working. Just for good measure Lucius had put in four drops of the potion just to make sure it lasted long enough to keep them telling the truth throughout the night and maybe longer.
Lucius knew Harry wasn’t going to make it easy for Draco to get back into his good graces, he had a lot of groveling to do and he knew Draco was more then willing to grovel if it meant getting Harry back. Sure Malfoy’s were prideful but when it came down to it they were not beyond begging when the situation called for it and Lucius knew Draco felt this situation was well worth it. He loved the raven-haired boy with all is heart and it took losing him for him to realize it. Lucius had been thrilled when he’d heard that the Gryffindor golden boy had treated his son well, he couldn’t ask for more then that.
Lucius stood up from where he leaned up against his desk and had the boys follow him since they still weren’t talking. They both felt slightly dizzy but they thought it was from the stress not the potion they’d been slipped. They followed the elder Malfoy without question through the halls of the Manor. Lucius led them to the guest room and told them to go in ahead of him, they did and he stood in the doorway with an evil grin on his face. Draco and Harry just looked worriedly at each other then Lucius spoke again.
“You two will not be leaving this room until you’ve talked everything over. You don’t have to make up but I want you two to understand exactly where the other stands.” Lucius began to close the door as the boys looked at him shocked. “Oh and just so you’re aware, I spiked your juice with Veritaserum, you have to tell the truth now. Good evening gentlemen I’ll see you both at breakfast.” With that Lucius closed the door and put up more wads then they’d be able to break through if they had a year to do so.
“Well this is just wonderful.” Harry turned on Draco seething mad. “Your father is meddling where he doesn’t need to meddle. I’d forgive you eventually, but what you did really hurt me.” Harry’s eyes grew wide when he realized what he’d just said. Harry turned and stalked over to the bed and threw himself on there with a very undignified flop while mumbling about sadistic bastards. Draco couldn’t help but giggle. He’d felt a million times better then he had since the break up when Harry admitted he’d forgive him eventually.
Draco made his way over to the bed and sat down elegantly.
“I truly am sorry for what I did Harry. There aren’t enough words to tell you how sorry I am. I was wrong, so utterly and terribly wrong to do what I did.” Draco’s eyes glistened with unshed tears. “Please try and understand how I felt. I am by no means excusing what I did, and I should have talked to you instead of setting you up like that. It was so horrible, I can’t even imagine what you went through when I did that to you. More then what I went through when you returned my gift I’m sure.” A tear broke free and tracked down Draco’s face. Harry’s eyes also started to tear up remembering what he’d felt when he’d seen Draco making out with someone else. “I know I have a lot of groveling to do and I am more then willing to do as much as you see fit even if it means we are just friends. I wronged you so horribly I can’t even begin to apologize correctly.” Draco now looked deeply into Harry’s eyes. He saw Harry’s resolve breaking. Harry rolled over onto his side away from Draco before he spoke. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes.
“I don’t know if I can forgive you yet Draco.” Harry’s voice was low but firm. “You ripped my heart out that night then when I got here there was such hatred in your voice.” Harry stopped taking another deep breath. “That was the night I resigned myself to the fact you hated me, we can’t just go back. I’m not even sure I can’ be a friend to you right now. Maybe in a few months, but right now everything, I just feel raw.” Draco couldn’t see it but Harry had tears rolling down his face and into the pillow beneath. “I was alone, I needed you and you destroyed what we had. Hermione doesn’t even talk to me anymore, blames me for Ron’s death.” Harry got up from the bed, tears be damned. “I needed you and you threw me away Draco, I don’t know if I can ever truly be with you again after that, what’s to say you won’t do that again when things get scary for you? There is no way I can put myself out like that again. Maybe later but right now, no.” Harry then turned and went into the bathroom and secured the bed leaving a heart broken Draco to stare after him.
Draco made a promise right then and there. He went to the bathroom and knocked lightly before he spoke confidently.
“Harry, I swear on everything I have within myself and my home that I will make it right and better for you again. You don’t believe this now but I do love you. I won’t say I’ll make you love me again because that is totally up to you, but I do promise to make it up to you. Everything, I will never ever leave your side again. I know that’s hard to believe coming from me considering what I’ve done, but believe me when I say I will do everything within my power to make it up to you and make you happy again. Even if that means giving you up. I love you and I want you happy, I don’t care about myself anymore, really I don’t. Just give me a chance to start making it up to you Harry, please.” Draco begged, he’d slowly slid down the doorframe he was leaning against during his rant. He’d been heartbroken by the pain in Harry’s eyes, and he’d do everything in his power to never see it again.
After about twenty minutes the door opened slowly to reveal a very tired looking Harry. He looked well over his eighteen years old.
“I will allow you to start making it up to me, but you’d better be good, one wrong move and I go forever and never come back. Am I understood?” Harry said in a voice much more firm and confident then he felt. Draco nodded enthusiastically, he’d do anything for Harry. Harry sighed and let a very small smile play on his lips. “Good the first thing you can do is hold me tonight. I’ve not had a decent night’s sleep since that night.” Harry had a brief pained look that crossed his face. Draco smiled at him and lightly grabbed Harry’s hand and pulled him to the bed slowly. Draco gently pulled off Harry’s robes to reveal a comfortable pair of pants and button down shirt. Draco undid the first button on the shirt just to make it more comfortable for Harry then sat Harry down on the bed and removed Harry’s shoes and socks for him. Draco then repeated the process for his own clothes, meanwhile Harry moved to the center of the bed. Looking down at Harry, Draco could see just how exhausted his lover was. Laying down on the bed Draco open his arms to the young man on the bed with him. With a smile the young lad spoke to his hopefully soon to be again lover.
“Come here, Harry. I’ll keep you safe from your dreams. Let me take care of you.” Harry scooted over and buried his head in Draco’s neck and was almost totally asleep due to exhaustion. Draco wrapped his arms possessively around his love.
“I never stopped loving you, you know, but I’m still mad at you.” Harry mumbled before drifting off totally to sleep. Draco smiled slightly and kissed the Gryffindor on the top of his head and followed Harry into peaceful dreams.
When Harry began to regain consciousness he noticed he was cocooned in warmth and he’d had a peaceful nights sleep. He soon felt arms tighten slightly around him and the flood of memories that had been last night appeared in his mind. He cuddled into the warmth, he’d always enjoyed snuggling with Draco, it made him feel at peace with himself and the world as a whole, it was having the same effect now. Oh Draco still had a lot of ass to kiss to make it right, but Harry would not abuse it, that wasn’t his style.
Harry was going to somewhat humiliate Draco in front of his father, he’d love to do a bit publicly but also knew that wasn’t possible at the moment due to Draco and Lucius being spies for the side of light that was impossible, he wouldn’t purposely endanger anyone’s life.
A plan formed in his head and he believed it would humiliate Draco enough and make him understand just how badly it had hurt Harry to see Draco as he had. Of course he knew Lucius knew Snape as well, he’d have to play along.
Harry gently extracted himself from Draco’s arms and smiled gently at the blonde as he rolled over and pulled Harry’s pillow into his arms and snuggle into it. Harry went into the bathroom and stripped himself of his clothes, pulled his wand from his robes he’d brought in with him and did a cleaning spell on the clothes then got in and took a shower. After he got out and dried himself off and got dressed again he went back into the bedroom to find Draco sitting up looking at him.
"I.." Draco started. "I want to thank you for giving me a chance to prove myself at least to be a friend." Draco finished looking down at the sheet he had in his hand.
"Don’t thank me yet Draco, you may reconsider if my plan goes through." Harry said and tried to open the door, it had been unlocked and Harry left the room.
Harry entered the dining room to find Lucius grinning like a Cheshire cat at Harry.
"I take it things went well?" Lucius said in a smug voice. Harry smirked back at the man.
"That all depends on if you’ll help me with something or not." Came Harry’s retort.
"Of course I’ll help, what do you need.?" Lucius raised an eyebrow and waited patiently for Harry to explain the plan. By the end Lucius was laughing. "That will be the perfect thing to set him in his place, let me speak with Severus and we’ll see if we can’t do this tonight." Lucius finished his breakfast quickly and as he was leaving his brightly smiling son entered the room. Lucius turned and winked at Harry and Draco caught it, and raised a questioning eyebrow to Harry which only resulted in a shrug from said Gryffindor.
After lunch Lucius cornered Harry and said it was a go and to which study they would be in. Harry pulled out a hair from his head and placed it in the vial that Lucius had given him and Harry handed it back to Lucius. He didn’t know who was going to be who or even who the other person would be, he didn’t care. He hadn’t known to the day whom Draco was kissing and didn’t want to know, that would only make things worse.
The day passed with Draco not leaving Harry’s side if it could be helped. Harry didn’t mind so much, he actually found it quite comforting.
"Draco?" Harry started while they were researching. Draco finished what he was looking at and looked up at Harry. "I’m going to ask you something and I don’t want you to get upset all right?" Draco nodded, Harry sighed deeply, he hated doing this to Draco but he needed the Slytherin to understand what he’d gone through.
"How you feel if you’d caught me doing what you did that night?" Harry truly curious, it was getting close to the time when Harry would lead Draco to the study that Lucius and Severus were going to be in, he wanted to know what to expect. Draco furrowed his brow as he tried to imagine the situation reversed, they’d been happy before Harry had caught him, had no reason to believe Draco would do anything like that.
"I...I don’t know, and I truly hope I never find out, my gods Harry that must have been awful for you," tears leaked out of Draco’s eyes. Harry smiled sadly, this was something Draco was going to need to understand.
"Come walk with me?" Harry asked and Draco jumped up and grabbed Harry’s hand gladly and they left the room. Harry and Draco talk of things of little consequence as Harry led Draco to the correct study. Harry opened the door and motioned for Draco to go in. Draco froze at what he saw in the room. Almost totally forgetting that Harry was right beside him, his hand flew to cover his mouth and tears sprang into his eyes.
There in the room stood Harry Potter, well who he thought was Harry kissing someone quite passionately. His heart dropped to his shoes. He understood now, he knew what Harry felt. He turned to leave when his eyes caught the real Harry. Draco sobbed openly before his flung himself at Harry.
"I am so sorry Harry, I understand now." Draco dissolved into broken sobs on Harry’s chest. The two men stopped what they were doing and watched. It almost killed Lucius (currently Harry) to see Draco break down like that, but he was glad to help Harry make him understand what he’d gone through over a year ago. When Draco finally calmed down a little is when the Polyjuice had happened to wear off. Draco looked at his father and prior professor with sad eyes. "I had no idea I’d hurt him so deeply, everything he’s been through, I don’t deserve him, I don’t deserve him at all and look at him, he’s giving me a chance to at least be a friend to him." Draco turned his eyes to Harry who smiled sadly at him.
"I am sorry I had to do that Draco, but you needed to understand how I felt, I mean really understand. Like I told you last night, I never stopped loving you. What we had was the love of a lifetime, we were lucky we had it. I don’t regret it for a minute." Harry closed his eyes and breathed deeply before continuing. "We will never be like we were before, I can never trust you fully again, well maybe not never, I understand why you did it, but it doesn’t change the fact that you did." Lucius beamed at Harry he knew where this was going, all would be fine, well as fine as it could go in a world with the fear of Voldemort around.
"I want to try again Draco. Now that you’ve seen you’re mistake in not talking to me instead of what you did. I love you Draco and I want you in my life. But you’re going to have to rebuild my trust for you. If you think you can do that, then we can try again if that’s what you want, the ball is in your court now, it’s up to you." Harry turned "thank you gentlemen, you’ve been extremely helpful." With that Harry left the three men alone which he went back to the library.
Draco sank to the ground and cried. For an instant he thought it was Harry and his world came crashing down. He understood now, totally and thoroughly. Severus quickly made his excuses and left, while his father stayed to comfort.
"I am sorry Draco, but I agreed with Harry, you needed to know what Harry went through when you hurt him." Draco nodded as he didn’t trust his voice at the moment. When he calmed down he went out to find Harry. When he found him he was in one of the attic rooms sitting in a window seat staring out into the night sky as star twinkled. He had tear tracks of his own. It had pained him to see Draco’s reaction but at the same time it brought him relief to know that Draco now knew exactly what Harry went though. They could start again now.
Draco walked over to where Harry was in the window and dropped to his knees and lowered his head.
"I don’t deserve you, not one bit. I am so terribly sorry for what I did to you." Draco said softly but sincerely and a sob broke free from him at the end.
"You are forgiven now Draco, completely and utterly, you know now what I felt over a year ago, we have a clean slate." Harry said while pulling Draco up gently from his knees. Harry pulled him into a firm but gentle hug before kissing him soundly. Draco responded to the kiss immediately.
That night they made magic and made love for the first time ever. Sure they’d had sex when they were together before, but it had NEVER been like this before. Harry and Draco were both WHOLE again. The would not ever be Never Whole again.
THE END!!!!
