Socks

Lily walked up to her dorm calmly, then flopped, stomach-first, onto her bed. She set her book on top of her pillow and opened it to a random page. Then, she propped up her elbows and rested her chin on her fists. This was a very interesting book.
She shifted her position to turn the page and came across a very odd charm. It claimed that, if done correctly, it would make the object on which it was performed on broadcast all of its thoughts verbally so that everyone in the room could hear. Lily needed to try this on something. She read the instructions and pulled her wand out of her robes. The note at the bottom of the page said that the charm would work on anything, whether animate or inanimate, so Lily decided to practice on her socks. She pulled them off and laid them on the bed in front of her.

She read the incantation in the book a few times to make sure she had it right, then waved her wand over her socks and muttered it.
"Now what's that silly girl up to?" the first sock thought.
"Who knows what goes on in the minds of humans," the second sock thought back.
"What? How can you hear me?" thought the first sock.
"You can hear me?" thought the second one.
"Hell yeah!" the first one thought at the second.
"Sweet!" the second one thought back. "I wonder if we can move on our own, too."
They both sat there for a moment in silence.
"Damn it!" the first one thought hotly. "If she was going to make us be able to speak, she should have given us the power to do other things, too."
"What's the use of being able to talk if you can't go anywhere on your own?" the second one thought.
"I dunno," thought the first. "Ask her."
"Her?" the second thought. "Why would I even think of asking her?"
"She bought us," the first thought.
"I think I would have liked it better if someone skinnier had," the second thought. "My bottoms are thinning out."
Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all, Lily thought; glad that no one could hear what she was thinking. Her socks were starting to make fun of her!
"It's not really that she's fat," the first one was thinking at the second. "It's just that she wears us much too often. And at least her feet don't smell."
"Yeah, she should go barefoot more," the second thought in reply. "But then, who would want to do that on these freezing stone floors?"
"I see your point," thought the first.
"All right, you two," Lily said out loud to her socks.
"Quiet!" the second thought at the first. "She's trying to tell us something."
"I am quiet! Why don't you just shut up!" the first thought back.
"What did you just say to me, you little-"
"That's enough!" Lily yelled at them. That shut them up. "Can you just hum to yourselves while I figure out how to undo the spell?"
"Yeah, I guess," thought the second. "But first I need to tell that other sock something."
"Oh yeah?" thought the first sock at the second. It then proceeded to call its match some very bad names that will not be posted here. The second sock began cussing out the first, and soon they were both yelling at each other.

Lily began to get impatient with her socks. She grabbed them off of the bed rather harshly and carried them down to the common room.
"Hey, young lady!" the second sock thought. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"
"Yeah! You can't just carry us around like we're still normal socks!" the first thought at her.
"Well, what are you going to do about it?" Lily asked them.
That produced a rather awkward silence, then they began to call her various names and obscenities that won't be mentioned.
Lily gladly got down to the common room and set her talking socks on the table in front of James, who looked up from his homework to see what all of the cussing was about.
"Take care of them for me, will you James?" Lily asked him.
"All right," he said, looking at the socks (which were still thinking murderous thoughts at Lily) with an odd expression on his face. He picked one up gingerly.
"Hey!" the sock in James's hand thought loudly. "Just what do you think you're doing?"
"Yeah!" the sock still on the table said. "That's my best friend you're grabbing there!"
Lily sighed, gave James a sympathetic look, then went back up to her dorm to get her charms book.

When she got back, James was talking back to the socks, and had managed to calm them down a bit.
"Well, as I was saying," the first sock thought. "All of a sudden, I could think out loud!"
"Yeah, me too!" the second agreed.
"Could you fellows excuse me for a minute?" James asked the socks as Lily entered the common room again.
"Sure," thought the socks in unison, and began thinking amongst themselves.
"What did you do to them?" James asked.
"This," Lily said, holding up the charms book to the page she had found the spell she had used on the socks.
"That explains a lot," James said, looking over the page. "Do you know how to undo it?"
"I'm trying to figure that out," Lily said, sitting down. James sat next to her and they both looked over the page for some kind of charm to undo the spell.
"There," James said, pointing to a note in tiny letters at the bottom of the page. "It says that there is no way to undo the charm once its done."
"Great," said Lily. "Now I'm stuck with two talking socks."
"What's so bad about that?" asked the first sock.
"Yeah," said the second. "We're really fun to talk to, if someone would just listen!"
"But can we ask a favor of you?" the first asked.
"What?" Lily asked.
"Can you make it so that we can move on our own? That way, you won't have to put up with us if you don't want to."
"Hold on," she said, flipping to the index of her book. There was a spell for making inanimate objects animate somewhere in there, she knew. She found the charm, then flipped to the page. She read over the instructions a couple times, then pulled out her wand and completed the spell.
"Thanks!" said the first sock, crawling to the edge of the table. "We're talking, moving socks now!"
"Yeah, thanks!" said the second, following its match. They both flopped off the edge of the table and scurried away.
"Interesting," James said.
Lily grinned and kissed him on the cheek.