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I'm doing this because, I wanted to be able to BLOG. I mean, yes I have a Myspace....but I have family as friends, and whenever I blog something that MEANS something they read it, and then they attack me with it the next time I see them. So, you can imagine if I have a bad day, and I blog something particularly bad, they say, "oh Moni's gonna kill herself!" and then start trying to stop me.

And because this is MY WEBSITE, and I'm very good at designing it, here is my very own blog that no one but the people who visit here will see. If you read it, cool. If not? Well....at least I got it off my chest.

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June 2, 2008

....Uneasy Feelings....

Mood:burning inside

I'm feeling weird. I'm in love with someone. A lot. He and I are pretty sure it's going to end, we can foresee our relationship being a very temporary situation. Mostly because he and I just cannot get along outside the realm of sex.

As I sit here with fussy baby kitten in my lap, (rescued by my best friend) I am reminded of the thing that I want most out of life....so that it will not be in vain. Children. A husband. I want him to be my husband, and the thought of giving each other that makes us scared. I am scared to loose him. I'm sure I will.

Life has been pretty good, I was an extra in a Jack Black movie, I'm going to be an Aunt for the first time, and I can't wait for it. The Aunt thing trumps the extra thing way more.

Waiting on payday for my Chris Isaak tickets....hope to the heavens I get them....hope the universe is listening....

This man....he makes it better.

Much Love,

~Moni

June 18, 2008

....Financially Fucked....

Mood: Tired

Music: Tina Arena "I'm In Chains" "Show Me Heaven"

Elton John "This Train Don't Stop Here Anymore"

~***~

Looks like tomorrow is only day I'll have phone service until Friday when I get paid!

It sucks, but ah well....I have my tickets. Hee.

I felt like hearing Tina Arena songs because, well, I love 90's adult contemporary music! I just do. I think it's because I'm a singer, and I learned to sing with these songs. It drives my best friend nuts, but what are you gonna do? LOL!

So Stevie Nicks said something about her fans stealing her music, (which she's not wrong) and everyone on Seven Wonders lost their shit. OH WHO CARES....was my initial reaction, and then I said, "I agree with Stevie". Coz I do. She knows what's up, she's not stupid!

She could put out no more new stuff forever, and I would still love her.

So it's late, as I listen to Tina ask to be shown heaven. Which....I"m guessing means "FUCK ME GENTLY" which is really all women really want from a man. To be gently fucked. (I know. I've lost it LOL)

It's late, but it always is when I decide to do these things. I don't have to work tomorrow, so I'm just biding my time.

Father's Day was the worst damn day of my life. Enough said.

I'm thinking the launch of "Forever Blue" won't be that eventful and won't be on time. Most things I start never are. LOL I mean I don't know many times I've cleaned up "If Anyone Falls" and really I want to move the domain. But I can afford to: so I'm staying Angelfire faithful!

Also have a burst of Elton John love lately, but I have always loved Elton. It's not really a fan thing, I just have always adored his music. It comforting. Things haven't been comforting.

Everyone have a good tomorrow, love you all!

Much Love,

~Moni

July 2, 2008

....Little Things....

Mood: Stressed

Music: whatever's playing on this episode of "Angel" I'm watching

So my nephew is due in October, by C-section. I can't wait! I can't wait to see him, and see if what the doctors say is true. To see if he will be alright. He probably will.

GOT A NEW CELLPHONE!! AN ACTUAL CELLPHONE!!!! It's so nice. It's lovely. It's a KRAZR. I love it!

Does everyone's status on Myspace always have to be DEPRESSED?!?!?!?

Can't wait for my CONCERT!!! Yay!!

Everyone have a good day!

Much Love,

~Moni

~<3<3<3~

July 16, 2008

....These Stories Mean Nothing When You've Got No One To Tell Them To....

Mood: Jealous/Nervous/Insomnia

Music: "The Story" Brandi Carslile

So one of my CI Homies got back from her second show tonight, and she and her friend, Brandi, oddly enough, both had their picture taken with the lovely Isaak. Bitches. LOL!

I'm getting sort of impatient for my concert, and I'm trying to enjoy it and look forward to it: but my best friend is leaving me for two weeks and three days to go to Hawaii and visit her inlaws in Honolulu. She's like my lifeline, my backbone, my blood, and she's gonna be gone. It's going to royally fucking SUCK.

I no want sisser to go.

The best thing I can think to do, is to try to take a little bit of an Isaak break so I can think clearly, and to just try and get through the two weeks in one piece and sane. I can't tell you how bad she wants me to go with her, and I don't blame her because her In-Laws are fucking strange. It makes me glad I'm not married.

But to maybe try and bring it back around, I'm majorly jealous of my friends!

It's 4:29 am. I'm so tired I can't sleep. I'm thinking too much, my brain is going about a million miles and I can't stop for gas. (what?) and I'm just about to die. I have so much stress and anxiety about so many things, and it's combining and warping and becoming an anxiety about my concert: what I'm going to wear, how I'm going to look, what I'm going to say to Chris. "Hello" is good but I'm stressing on the intonation. Not to mention what I'm actually going to have him sign. GOD ONLY KNOWS how it's going to feel, and if I'm actually going to have the guts to ask for a picture!!!! If I do get one, rest assured it's going to be posted here!!!!

I'll leave you with this: