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Depraved and Insulting ABCs

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A is for ambisinister

Ambisinister; adj. : Literally meaning "posessing two left hands"

it is used to describe one who is oafish or clumsy. not exactly the most disturbing way to start out my project (detailed below).. but... lookit him! he's got two left hands! ..... the freak....

B is for blattoid

Blattoid; adj. : Resembeling a cockroach.

there are probably more opportunities to use this metaphorically (i'd assume.... but i'd be delighted to be proven wrong!) than literally, but it's so much mroe fun this way

C is for caprylic

Caprylic; adj. : "Smelling of rank or fetid goat"

... smelling, more or less, like rotting goat shit.... but then again, there are enough words in that book that deal with shit already... now don't get me wrong... i'm a goat fan

D is for desticate

Desticate; verb : To cry out like a rat

o.k. .... so it's not especially depraved or insulting... but i got to draw a screaming rat-head, so it was all worth it....

E is for exoplthalmos

Exoplthamos; adj. : Having eyes protrudign from the skull; bug-eyed.

again... only mildly insulting, but fun to draw amuse your friends! confound your enemies!

F is for fissilingual

Fissilingual; adj. : possessing a forked tounge.

... well, I thought it was cool. all you harry potter fans out there might get some use out of this.... ...ssssssssssSSSSSSsssss.....

G is for gardyloo

Gardyloo : Gardyloo is not so much a word, but more of an antiquated exlamation. It datesback to the days when people used to empty their chamberpots (in plain english, their shit-pots) into the streets below. It acted as a sort of a 'TIMBER!' for the innocent passerby. i'm especially fond of this one

H is for hemothymia

Hemothymia; n. : the irresistable desire to murder.

remember this the next time you're annoyed by one of those odd people that seems to be filled with the irresistable desire to blow those loose eyelashes off your face, or inform you that your shirt tag is up.... they could be much, much worse.

I is for illitate

Illitate; v. : To overdecorate the female face.

specifially the female face. However, there was no word for overdecoration of the male face in my source.... looks like the english language has some room to grow i acctually considered hanging christams ornamaents from the womans face, but that would've been a bit much, wouldn't it? hmm.... i guess we'll never know.

J is for jugulate

Jugulate; v. : really, any sort of assault on the neck.. i.e. hanging, cutting... biting... you get the gist..

three cheers for vampires! those kinky old blood suckers...

K is for keck

Keck; v. : To attempt to vomit... unsuccessfully...

how many times have we all done that?

L is for lickspiggot

Lickspiggot; n. : a detestable parasite..

truely, a definition befitting the term itself...

M is for meldrop

Meldrop. n. : 'a drop of liquid suspended from the tip of the nose'.

... simply a fancy term for a snotty nose, or an adorable, gooey phenomenon? we may never know...

N is for natiform

Natiform; adj. : shaped like buttocks

yessiree... buttocks.

O is for odorivector

Odorivector; n.: the source of a smell.

not necessarily a bad smell, but one can easily find dirty little ways to use this one i'm not quite sure waht i was thinking with this distraught little pink worm-baby... but you've gotta admit... he looks like he envys the dead.

P is for polymasthus

Polymasthus; adj. : posessing "more than the usual number of breasts or nipples"

while the image conjured is quite amusing, i was taken more with the observation that my source said "usual number"... not two, but the 'usual number' (i can only assume that it reffers to non-human animals, but it's way more fun to think otherwise )

Q is for quakebuttock

Quakebuttock; n. : a coward.

I dont' really have to try with this one. it just sounds funny

R is for ranivorous

Ranivorous; adj. : a word describing "one who devours frogs".

once again, it probably isn't meant to relate to humans... but again, it's just funnier this way

S is for scombroid

Scombroid; adj.: resembling a mackeral

it's just fun to draw fish people...

T is for twee

Twee; adj. : "overly cute"

yes...... overly cute.... i love the english language

U is for ucalegon

Ucalegon; n. : a neighbor who's house is on fire.

can you beleive there's a word for that??? possibly my favorite of all of these..

V is for viraginity

Viraginity; n.: "Manliness in a woman"

not to be cofused with 'virginity'... kinda boring... my options become slim tward the end of the alphabet...

W is for windbroach

Wind broach; n. : an inferior fiddler

it just makes me laugh... i was torn between this and Wood push: a bad chess player.

X is for xanthodont

Xanthodont; adj. : having yellow teeth

like i said, my options get slim twards the end here...

Y is for yeevil

Yeevil; n. : dungfork

what is a dungfork? i have no idea.. what is it used for? not a clue.. is it really that tiny? for the sake of comedy, i sure hope so

Z is for zooerastia

Zooerastia; v. : sex with an animal.

let me make it clear, i really dont approve of bestiality in any form. i will also point out, yet again, my lack of options.... this was the most... colorful... choice i had. besides, lookit how suave that little dude is! if i were a giraffe, i'd take him home with me but only if i were a giraffe (:\

(all source material from "Words to Offend and Amuse: Depraved and Insulting English" by Peter Novobatzky and Ammon Shea)