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* * * * * NUMBER THREE * * * * *
~ THE RECORDS FLOATING ~
IN THE AIR OF
EVERYBODY SINGING THEIR OWN BLUES SONG
FOLK'S ! IT IS THE SAME
ALL OVER THE WORLD  

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~ PICTURE OF ~
~ THE COMPUTER WIZARD ~ a.k.a. ~ " SUPPORT TECH " ~
" BEFORE "
SUPPORT TECH CALLS START COMING IN !

~ PICTURE OF ~
SUPPORT TECH
" DURING "
ONE OF THE MANY " SUPPORT " PHONE CONVERSATIONS LISTED BELOW !

Customer: " Hello, is this here the Packard Bell computer tech fellow ? "
 
Support Tech: " Yes, it is, what seems to be your trouble, sir. "
 
Customer: " Well, I think it's the program, nothing is coming up on that there picture tube. "
 
Support Tech: " O.K. I'll need you to right-click on the Open Desktop. "
 
Customer: " Huh ? well O. K. "

Support Tech: " Did you get a pop-up menu ? "
 
Customer: " Nope, what does that look like ? "

Support Tech: "Well, O. K. Try a right click again. now do you see a pop-up menu ? "

Customer: " Nope, I still can't see a gol dang thing. "

Support Tech: " Well, O.K. Sir, can you tell me what you have done up until this point on your computer ? "

Customer: " Why, sure enough, y'all told me to write " click " on my open desktop and so I wrote click. " 

Support Tech: " WELL, DUH !!!!!!!!!!!!!! "

~ ~ ~ PICTURE OF SUPPORT TECH ~ ~ ~
" AFTER "
HANDLING THE ABOVE TECH CALL
P. S. THAT WAS NUMBER 6,000, BEFORE NOON
YUP ! THERE ARE SOME JOBS
TO TOUGH EVEN FOR
A COMPUTER SUPPORT TECH ! ! !

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TRUST ME  

THE UN INSPECTOR BLIX MEETS WITH THE IRAQI PRIME MINISTER IN ONE OF SADDAMS PALACES LOOKING FOR WEAPONS.
THE PRIME MINISTER TELLS BLIX THAT THE IRAQI'S AREN'T HIDING AND DON'T HAVE ANY WEAPONS OF......
" MASS DESTRUCTION ! "
WOULD I LIE TO YOU ?

" OH ! BY THE WAY, SINCE WE ARE SUCH TRUSTING FOLK'S
AND YOU KNOW THAT ! LET ME SUBMIT TO YOU A SUGGESTED " NEW PLAN " SO THAT WE CAN KEEP OUR FRIENDLY RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU AMERICANS.

OKAY HERE IS THE " NEW PLAN ! "

{1} The U.S. will apologize to the world for their " interference " in our affairs, past and present. You know, Hitler, Mussolini and the rest of them good old boys'. And that we will never " interfere " again.

{2} We will withdraw our troops from all over the world, starting with Germany, South Korea and the Philippines. They don't want us there. We would station troops at only at our borders. No more sneaking through holes in the fence.

{3} All illegal aliens have 90 days to get their affairs together and leave. We'll give them a free trip home. After 90 days the remainder will be gathered up and deported immediately, regardless of who or where they are. France would welcome them.

{4} All future visitors will be thoroughly checked and limited to 90 days unless given a special permit. No one from a terrorist nation would be allowed in. If you don't like it there, change it yourself, don't hide here. Asylum would not ever be available to anyone. We don't need any more cab drivers.

{5} No " students " over age 21. The older ones are the bombers. If they don't attend classes or they get a " D " and it's back home baby.

{6} The U.S. will make a strong effort to become self sufficient energy wise. This will include developing non polluting sources of energy but will require a temporary drilling of oil in the Alaskan wilderness. The caribou will have to cope for a while.

{7} Offer Saudi Arabia and other oil producing countries $50 a barrel for their oil. If they don't like it, we go someplace else.

{8} If there is a famine or other natural catastrophe in the world, we will not " interfere, " They can pray to Allah or whomever, for seeds, rain, cement or whatever they need. Besides' most of what we give them is stolen or given to the army. The people who need it most get very little, if any anyway.

{9} Ship the U.N. Headquarters to an island some place. We don't need the spies and fair weather friends here. Besides, it would make a good homeless shelter or lockup for illegal aliens.

{10} All Americans must go to charm and beauty school. That way, no one can call us " The Ugly Americans " any longer.

DON'T THAT SOUND NICE FOR YOU AMERICANS AND IT WILL WIN OUR APPROVAL ?

" OH ! BY THE WAY, SINCE YOU ARE SUCH TRUSTING FOLK'S
AND YOU THINK WE KNOW AND BELIEVE THAT ! LET ME SUBMIT TO YOU, OUR " NEW PLAN " SO THAT WE WILL BE ABLE TO KEEP OUR FRIENDLY RELATIONSHIP WITH THE IRAQI PEOPLE.
HERE IS MY ANSWER AS I WAS DISCUSSING IT WITH COLIN POWELL, THE OTHER NIGHT.
[ Restricted Inside White House Information Below ]


- - - Click Here For: ~ LET'S GIVE SADDAM A NICE GIFT ! ~


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FACT :
YOU MIGHT WANT TO CONSIDER
~ ~ ~ WHY IS THIS HAPPENING ? ~ ~ ~
AND OTHER ITEMS WE PURCHASE
AND THEIR PRICE !

YOU THINK A GALLON OF GAS IS EXPENSIVE ?

This makes one think, and puts things in perspective.

Diet Snapple 16 oz $1.29..........$10.32 per gallon
Lipton Ice Tea 16 oz $1.19........$ 9.52 per gallon
Gatorade 20 oz $1.59...............$10.17 per gallon
Ocean Spray 16 oz $1.25.........$10.00 per gallon
Brake Fluid 12 oz $3.15.............$33.60 per gallon
Vick's Nyquil 6 oz. $8.35.........$178.13 per gallon
Pepto Bismol 4 oz $3.85.........$123.20 per gallon
Whiteout 7 oz $1.39.................$25.42 per gallon
Scope 1.5 oz $0.99..................$84.48 per gallon

and this is the REAL KICKER.....
Evian water 9 oz for $1.49.........$21.19 per gallon
$21.19 FOR WATER !.....
and the buyers don't even know the source.
            

So, the next time you're at the pump, be glad you car
doesn't run on water, Scope, or Whiteout,
or God forbid PEPTO BISMOL or NYQUIL !!!!

Just a little humor to help ease the
pain of your next trip to the pump!!!

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GOD IS LIKE.........
A sixth grade teacher in a Christian school asked her class to look at TV commercials and see if they could use them in some way to communicate ideas about God. Here are some of the results:



BAYER ASPIRIN
He works miracles and relieve the headaches.



A FORD
He's got a better idea, to get you where you are going.



COKE
He's the real thing, there is no other.



HALLMARK CARDS
He cares about you the most, so He gives the very best.



TIDE
He gets the stains out that others leave behind.



GENERAL ELECTRIC
He is the power that brings good things to life.



SEARS
He has everything, a person needs



ALKA-SELTZER
Try him, you'll like how settled He makes you feel when you are upset.



SCOTCH TAPE
You can't see him, but you know He's there, and has holding power.



DELTA
He's ready to take you aboard now, so you will be ready to fly away some day !



ALLSTATE
You're in good hands with Him.



VO-5 Hair Spray
He holds firm through all kinds of weather.



DIAL SOAP
Aren't you glad you had Him, to clean you up. Don't you wish everybody did !



THE
U.S. POST OFFICE LETTER CARRIER

Neither rain, nor snow, nor sleet nor ice will keep Him from His appointed destination.

I want to give thanks and credit to a very wonderful web site, for their Heavenly Thoughts, many of which I used that I might share with others, the joy that it is to really know what " GOD IS LIKE....." Thank You Folk's at:
BLESS THE DAY !
THIS WAS JUST A SAMPLE
~ ~ ~ PLEASE VISIT ~ ~ ~
THEIR WEB SITE, THERE IS SO
MUCH MORE, FOR YOU TO ENJOY

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FACT :
SINCE WAY BACK IN WORLD WAR 1,
TO THE WORLD WAR II TIMES, WARS ARE GETTING OLDER  
YET, AS WE LOOK AT THE OVER ALL PICTURE,
IT SEEMS LIKE OUR SOLDIERS ARE SO YOUNG  

MATTHEW 24:6 " AND YE SHALL HEAR OF WARS AND RUMOURS OF WARS: SEE THAT YE BE NOT TROUBLED: FOR ALL THESE THINGS MUST COME TO PASS, BUT THE END IS NOT YET. "

IN TODAY'S TIME,
~ YOUNG SOLDIERS RE-ENLISTING ~

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For Our Boys Overseas........

The average age of the Infantryman is 19 years. He is a short haired, tight-muscled kid who, under normal circumstances is considered by society as half man, half boy. Not yet dry behind the ears, not old enough to buy a beer, but old enough to die for his country. He never really cared much for work and he would rather wax his own car than wash his father's; but he has never collected unemployment either. He's a recent High School graduate; he was probably an average student, pursued some form of sport activities, drives a ten year old jalopy, and has a steady girlfriend that either broke up with him when he left, or swears to be waiting when he returns from half a world away. He listens to rock and roll or hip-hop or rap or jazz and 155mm Howitzers. He is 10 or 15 pounds lighter now than when he was at home because he is working or fighting from before dawn to well after dusk. He has trouble spelling, thus letter writing is a pain for him, but he can field strip a rifle in 30 seconds and reassemble it in less time in the dark. He can recite to you the nomenclature of a machine gun or grenade launcher and use either one effectively if he must. He digs foxholes and latrines and can apply first aid like a professional. He can march until he is told to stop or stop until he is told to march. He obeys orders instantly and without hesitation, but he is not without spirit or individual dignity. He is self-sufficient. He has two sets of fatigues: he washes one and wears the other. He keeps his canteens full and his feet dry. He sometimes forgets to brush his teeth, but never to clean his rifle. He can cook his own meals, mend his own clothes, and fix his own hurts. If you're thirsty, he'll share his water with you; if you are hungry, his food. He'll even split his ammunition with you in the midst of battle when you run low. He has learned to use his hands like weapons and weapons like they were his hands. He can save your life - or take it, because that is his job. He will often do twice the work of a civilian, draw half the pay and still find ironic humor in it all. He has seen more suffering and death then he should have in his short lifetime. He has stood atop mountains of dead bodies, and helped to create them. He has wept in public and in private, for friends who have fallen in combat and is unashamed. He feels every note of the National Anthem vibrate through his body while at rigid attention, while tempering the burning desire to 'square-away' those around him who haven't bothered to stand, remove their hat, or even stop talking. In an odd twist, day in and day out, far from home, he defends their right to be disrespectful. Just as did his Father, Grandfather, and Great-grandfather, he is paying the price for our freedom. Beardless or not, he is not a boy. He is the American Fighting Man that has kept this country free for over 200 years. He has asked nothing in return, except our friendship, understanding and our prayers. Remember him, always, for he has earned our respect and admiration with his blood.

" Lord, hold our troops in your loving hands. Protect them as they protect us. Bless them and their families for the selfless acts they perform for us in our time of need. Amen. "

~ SUBMITTED BY ~
A VERY DEVOTED CHRISTIAN FRIEND
KAREN MELTON



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~ ~ ~ ATTENTION ~ ~ ~
* * * STATEMENT OF INTENT * * *
IF ANY OF THE WRITINGS ABOVE SHOULD BELONG TO AND SHOULD RECEIVE CREDIT OR IS " COPY RIGHTED " BY YOU OR SOMEONE YOU KNOW, PLEASE INFORM ME AS I HAVE RECEIVED THESE BY E-MAIL FROM VARIOUS SOURCES. WHILE I APPRECIATE THE ABOVE MATERIAL AND HAVE PUT IT TO GOOD USE I STILL REALIZE THE NEED TO HAVE PERMISSION FROM AND TO GIVE THE AUTHORS THEIR PROPER CREDIT OR I WILL REMOVE THEIR WRITINGS IF INSTRUCTED BY THEM TO DO SO.
GOD BLESS, Pastor Bill

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REMEMBER : ALL OF THESE
" JUST THE FACTS OF LIFE "
IS A CHEST FULL OF GOLD " NUGGETS ! "


      

                

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AS THERE COULD BE A GENIUS AT WORK
ON THIS WEB PAGE ? ? ?

I'M THINKING, I'M THINKING, TRUST ME ! ! !
HOW NICE IT WOULD BE IF YOU WERE TO

THAT WOULD SURE MAKE MY DAY   

THE COMPUTER WIZARD a.k.a. THE COMPUTER GEEK
[ My Alter Ego ]

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Thank You, Pastor Bill

PLEASE !

ME
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