"Uh, when I've examined it, you can, uh, skim it." -Giles
"Scan it, Rupert. That's, scan it." -Ms. Calendar
"Of course." -Giles
"Oh, I know, our ways are strange to you, but soon you will join us in the 20th century. With three whole years to spare!" -Ms. Calendar

"I'm, I'm just gonna stay and clean up a little. I'll be back in the middle ages." -Giles
"Did you ever leave?" -Ms. Calendar

"So, you've been seeing a guy, and you don't know what he looks like? Okay, this is a puzzle. No, wait, I'm good at these! Does it involve a midget and a block of ice?"
-Buffy

"She certainly looks perky." -Buffy
"Yeah, color in the cheeks, bounce in the step...I don't like it. It's not healthy. I mean, sure he says he's a high school student, but I can say I'm a high school student." -Xander
"You are." -Buffy "Okay, but I can also say that I'm an elderly Dutch woman. Get me? I mean, who's to say I'm not, if I'm in the elderly Dutch chat room?" -Xander

"I really don't know how to advise you. Things involved with a computer fill me with a childlike terror. Now, if it were a nice ogre or some such, I'd be more in my element." -Giles

"It said CRD. But, I couldn't get close enough to see what it was." -Buffy
"Calax Research and Development. It's a computer research lab. Third largest employer in Sunnydale till it closed down last year." (Giles and Buffy stare at him) "What, I can't have information sometimes?" -Xander
"Well, it's just somewhat unprecedented." -Giles

"Besides, I can just tell something's wrong. My spider sense is tingling." -Buffy
"Your...spider sense?" -Giles
"Pop culture reference. Sorry." -Buffy

"You're here again? Kids really dig the library, don't ya?" -Ms. Calendar
"We're literary!" -Buffy
"To read makes our speaking English good!" -Xander

"Well, it's been so nice talking to you." -Giles, preoccupied
"We were fighting." -Ms. Calendar
"Must do it again sometime, yes...bye, now." -Giles

"Does this look familiar to either of you?" -Giles
"Yeah, sure! Looks like a book." -Buffy
"I knew that one!" -Xander

"Aren't we overreacting? He's in a computer! What can he do?" -Xander
"You mean besides convince a perfectly nice kid to try and kill me? I don't know. How about mess up all the medical equipment in the world?" -Buffy
"Randomize traffic signals." -Giles
"Access launch codes for our nuclear missiles." -Buffy
"Destroy the world's economy." -Giles
"I think I pretty much capped it with that nuclear missile thing." -Buffy
"Right, yours was best." -Giles

"Thank you for coming. Uh, I need your help. But before that, I-I need you to believe something that, um, you may not want to. There's, uh... something's got into the...inside, um... There's a demon in the Internet." -Giles
"I know." -Ms. Calendar
"You already know? How exactly is that?" -Giles
"Come on, there've been portents for days. I mean, power surges, online shutdowns...you should see the bones I've been casting! I knew this would happen sooner or later." -Ms. Calendar
(Giles sports a priceless "just been hit between the eyes" look)

"The knowledge gained from a computer, is, it...it has no texture, no context. It's there and then it's gone. If it's to last, then, then the getting of knowledge should be...tangible, it should be, um...smelly." -Giles
"Well! You really are an old-fashioned boy, aren't you?" -Ms. Calendar
"Well, I don't dangle a corkscrew from my ear!" -Giles
"That's not where I dangle it." -Ms. Calendar

Season One
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