Remus did the only thing he could to relieve his suffering; he wrapped his arms around her and pressed himself against her as he pushed his hips against her until his pain began to subside. His breath was still coming in rasps as he fought off the inevitable, he needed to get out of her bed, to distance himself from her. He tried to slide out of the bed, only to hear her moan as her body searched for his “No, Kitty” he winced as her hips made contact with his, causing him to become engorged yet again. He place his hands on her hips and tried to push her away again, he couldn’t do this to her, or to Sirius. Remus imagined the look on Sirius’s face if he would stumble through the hospital doors to see his best friend and the love of his life in such a situation. Just as Remus thought he would be able to remove his arm from under her head, she turned in her sleep and sighed contentedly as she nuzzled against his chest. Remus looked down to see her breasts pressed against him, they were practically spilling out of her velvet dress, beckoning him to relive the fantasies of his youth. He reached out to touch them, his hand shaking as his manhood throbbed with desire for her. Remus tilted his head back, as if praying silently for deliverance as his hands cupped her full breasts, squeezing them slightly. He gasped as Kitty moaned softly, her legs moved in reaction to his caress, touching the center of his desire with her thigh, causing him to wince in unspent agony.
Remus couldn’t hold out any longer, kissing Kitty with a desperate abandon, he rolled on top of her, surprised at how easily he was able to part her legs under him. Lying against the soft velvet of her dress, Remus pressed his stiff and throbbing sex against hers. “Forgive me Kitty” he begged as he wrapped his arms under her, thrusting himself into the crevice of her legs. Aching for release, he kissed her neck passionately, urging her responses along with each plunge. He watched lovingly as she became flushed underneath him, her lips parted in yearning, craving him as much as he longed for her. Feeling his desire cresting, he held onto her hips as he drove into her forcefully, causing her to arch her back, raising her hips to his. Remus let out a low shaky moan as he spilled against her, sobbing pitifully as he did so.
Remus lay very still for the next several minutes as he watched Cat sleep, his arms around her protectively as he wept softly into her silky hair. He knew she would never hold this against him, he hadn’t *done* anything to her. But he still felt guilty he had stepped over that line, as the juices of his spent passion kept reminding him every time his robe brushed against him. A small voice in the back of his head screamed ‘coward’ as he tried to take comfort in the fact that he hadn’t actually entered her. Not that it mattered, the intention was there, he had betrayed his best friends in his heart and his mind, if not in actual flesh.
Sirius’s eyes opened wide “what do you mean she’s dead, she can’t be I - I just saw her this afternoon, she was fine” he replied numbly, she couldn’t be dead he needed to make peace with her before he left. He needed to be sure she would take care of Harry regardless of what Snape wanted her to do. It was pointless for him to stay here any longer, it was only delaying the inevitable, prolonging his pain, his life was effectively over and it had been since the day he stepped foot in Azkaban.
“I mean something has happened to her, we gave her as much of our blood as we could” Raul explained gently “and our poor brother Remus was left to hold her and keep her warm. He insists that *you* are the one who should do this. He is uncomfortable holding her in such a manner, I think he is afraid of hurting you.” Raul hinted as he looked deeply into the wizard’s eyes, searching for the reason for his pain.
Sirius looked away from Raul, he couldn’t stand to see the compassion in his eyes “She doesn’t need me for that. Get Snape, he seems to have that covered.” Sirius practically spat “No one needs to worry about me anymore. I’ll be gone as soon as I make sure Harry is taken care of.”
“Gone!!! What do you mean gone?! You do not abandon your clan.” Raul admonished him angrily “Your son and wife need you..”
“She is NOT my wife!!!” Sirius screamed “She doesn’t love me anymore... she loves *him*” he felt the tears starting again as he saw the look of shock and understanding on Raul’s face. Sirius shook his head sadly “she loves him” he whispered as he turned away, only to feel Raul’s hand on his arm stopping him from going any further.
“Are you so certain my friend?” Raul asked gently “I know Cash well, he can be arrogant, harsh and childish to the point of idiocy, but he knows his family. He cares more about them and their happiness than anything else in the world. I watched today as he and Tristessa cut themselves and forced Angel to drink from them in order to save her life. I stood there and had to pull Cash away because he was willing to bleed himself dry and die if it would have saved her.” Raul wrapped his arms around Sirius as he felt the wizard trembling “I know him, and he insists that the Angel loves you. He tells us he has seen this in her eyes and in her heart..... ..who are we to second guess him.” he prodded gently.
“You didn’t see them” Sirius responded softly “you didn’t see the way he held her, the way she kissed him.... She doesn’t want me or need me, she has someone else to care for her, she is nothing to me anymore.” he said as he choked back a sob, knowing in his heart what a lie it was. She was everything to him, she was the one thing that had given him enough hope to rise above the despair and horrors of Azkaban, to actually think he had a chance at living again. He thought he could be whole and loved once again, as her husband, as the father of their children. How could he possible explain to anyone what it felt like to have the only dream you had left torn from your very heart.
Raul thought a moment before he spoke “So you are telling me you no longer defend her? You no longer love her? You would not attack a man who had harmed her?”
“She has others to do that for her” Sirius said despondently “tell them, let them fight for her. Or better yet let her fight for herself, she’s more than capable.” he said as he remembered the way she had struck him earlier.
“Good.” Raul said cheerfully “Then I can be honest with you without fear of reprisal.” he grinned as Sirius turned and stared at him “You see the reason I have so much faith in Cash’s insights into her heart is because I too have fed from her.” Raul smiled wickedly as he saw the anger flicker across Sirius’s face “I have pierced her lily white skin and tasted the nectar of her blood.” he watched as Sirius clenched his fists “and I enjoyed her greatly, every gasp, every moan, every movement of her round hips and full bosom. Not that you would care.... right?”
Raul smirked as he saw Sirius clench his teeth and glare at him menacingly. So this young wizard had his pride hurt over a little kiss and now he thought to leave everyone behind and go mope over his wounded ego.... not a chance, he needed to take responsibility for his woman and his clan. “I don’t even know why I’m going to bother telling you this, but I think you should know” Raul taunted. “When we taste their blood, we taste their soul. Her thoughts, her fears, her loves and hates. . .her passions, and trust me my boy, she has a great deal of passion....” Raul ducked as Sirius swung at him “What is this little man?” Raul mocked “Did you not just tell me that you no longer protected her, that she was nothing to you?”
Sirius narrows his eyes at the vampyre “Why are you tormenting me? If you intend to kill me then just do it, I don’t need to be toyed with....” he said venomously “I’ve been tortured enough for one lifetime, for ten life times.” he went to swing at Raul again, only to have the vampyre catch his fist easily.
“You think this is torture?” Raul said evenly “Try watching your last mortal daughter, the one who holds the fate of your entire family in her womb, laying on a bed dying in agony and you can do nothing to heal her. Try being a mortal member of my clan, who against his own heart must lay with her and do *whatever* is necessary to keep her warm, to keep her alive.” he added softly but very clearly “Try being that young woman who has the weight of the world on her shoulders. Who must fight everyday of her life because of who and what she is. Try being her as she fights against her own fears and doubts because everyone she loves has either died or betrayed her.” Raul looked Sirius deeply in his eyes “You live with that everyday of your life and then you tell me what torture is. If I were mortal Sirius Black I would fight you for her, no matter how much she loves you I would fight.”
Sirius felt his stomach churn, he had no idea what Cat had been through, he had no idea that the passing years had gone so hard on her clan. “Why are you telling me this? Do you just want to see how much it takes until I break?” he wailed as angry tears fell from his eyes.
Raul released Sirius’s fist as he shook his head sadly “I am telling you this because I saw into her heart and soul when she let me feed from her. She did it to easy my suffering, to protect the students. I was starving and she felt my pain. She has a large heart, filled with a great deal of love and compassion.” he explained as he saw the pain flash in Sirius’s eyes “But when I saw into her true heart, her heart of hearts. . .I saw you, Sirius Black.”
Cat sighed sleepily as she huddled against the lovely warmth, she was sure she was dreaming again, dreaming of her mystery man, the one who was always there when she needed him. The one who always wrapped her in his strong arms and protected her from the arrows and slings of the world. Cat smiled as she placed her hands on his arms and pulled herself closer against him smiling dreamily as she heard him moan softly with desire, this was always her favorite part of the dream. . . .
Cat’s eyes suddenly sprung open, it wasn’t a dream, there was someone in bed with her. Twisting quickly in the man’s arms she turned to face him “Remus?!!” she gasped as she saw her dear friends hazel eyes shining back at her. Her mind raced to remember how this had happened, how had she ended up in the same bed with Remus.
Cat could feel her face flush as she realized what had happened, she smiled gently, as her eyes grew large and soft. Hesitantly she touched his face as he smiled at her “Hey Lupy...” she whispered as she snuggled closer to him, enjoying the warmth and strength of his body against her own. He must have fallen asleep watching over her, she must have had another attack from running across the grounds like that.
“Hey yourself...” Remus smirked as he brushed her hair off of her face before returning his arm to her waist. “You gave us all quite a fright” he gazed deeply into her emerald eyes, she was truly beautiful, it was all he could do not to kiss her. He remembered back to when they had dated and the few times he had woken up with her in his arms, he could always relax when she was around. He vividly remembered a particular prank James and Lily had played on him. It was when he and Cat had first begun to date each other, he had been almost painfully shy around her even after they had kissed, he had never had such strong feelings for a girl before, and the fact that she seemed to return his interest had only made him more timid. Apparently James had noticed his timidness and decided to do something about it. He had somehow managed to cast a sleeping charm on he and Cat and then levitated them both into Remus’s bed were Lily proceeded to adjust their clothing. He had woken up just before Cat had, he was mortified, he had absolutely *no* idea what had happened or how they had gotten that way. All he knew was he had woken up with a disheveled Cat MacLeod in his arms and he was smiling.... At least until he heard all the laughing, that’s when Cat had woken up and stared wide-eyed at him, confusion written all over her beautiful face. Remus started laughing as he remembered.
“Uhmm.. Something funny Remus?” Cat asked softly as she turned her eyes away from him, not understanding what he found so amusing looking at her.
Remus hugged her tightly “No Kitty.... nothing, I was just remembering the first time we woke up like this. At least this time we don’t have an audience” he grinned as he rubbed his nose against hers. “I honestly thought I was going to kill James for that.” he explained as he pulled her even closer.
Cat began to giggle as well, “Now I remember.... I must have blocked that out of my memory... far too embarrassing to recall.” she grinned back as she kissed him quickly on his lips. She just couldn’t resist, not when he was so close to her and so wonderfully warm and strong.
Remus paused for a moment he wasn’t sure how he should respond, it only took a few seconds before he decided to kiss her back. He sighed as he felt her run her fingers through his hair as he brought her body to his while deepening the kiss. They lingered for a few moments before Remus finally pulled himself away. “Kitty.. This is wrong” He confessed in between deep breathes “I love you, but I can’t be with you..... not in the way you need” he said sadly as he kissed her on her forehead. “Please understand.... I don’t want to lose you, or our friendship.”
Cat sighed sadly “I understand Lupy,... just promise me you’ll let me know if you ever change your mind” she asked as she buried herself against his chest.
Remus smiled as he wrapped his arms around her protectively and kissed her hair “I promise Kitty” he said softly as he thanked heaven for her being so understanding of him. He didn’t dare to think of what he would have done if she had pushed the issue, as it was he was already far to tempted as it were.
“Harry... Harry Potter” Madame Pomfrey cried out as she neared the great hall. Harry looked up to see Madame Pomfrey making a quick bee-line towards him as Professor Sprout huffed and puffed behind her, trying her best to keep up. “Yes Madame Pomfrey?” Harry responded, unsure of what could be so urgent as to take Pomfrey out of the hospital wing.
“Mr. Potter... please come with me..” Poppy said gently but urgently. The poor dear, she had no idea what he would do if Cat died. He had already lost so many people in his life, it really didn’t seem fair. She often wondered how he could be so pleasant, so happy after he had lost so much.
“But I’m not hurt Madame Pomfrey... honest.” Harry insisted as he looked at Professor Sprout who was nearly crying. “What is it? Has something happened?”
“Yes Mr. Potter, and you need to come with us.” Poppy insisted “It concerns Miss MacLeod.” She watched as the pleasant young man’s smiling eyes went wide with horror.
“Not another episode... please.. You said another one may kill her” he reminded her, his voice edged with panic.
Harry tore through the halls as the tears streamed down his face, he wasn’t about to wait for Pomfrey and Dumbledore to see his mother. He could tell by the look on Pomfrey’s face she didn’t hold out much hope. Harry felt himself becoming sick as the thought of losing her became all to real to him, she had become such a large part of his life, he couldn’t picture his future without her in it. He ignored the pain in his side as he kept running, he had to get to her, he had to be there for her.