“I don’t have anything to offer you anymore Cat, no home, no family, no fortune, not even my name.” he whispered as his brow furrowed and his eyes shut tightly. “I need you Cat, I wasn’t joking this morning, I want to ask Magnus for your hand in marriage. I want us to be a family, I want Harry to have a mother and father, one that love him more than anything else in the world.”

Steeling himself, Sirius finally let his arms drop from around Cat’s waist, “Come on, let’s go find somewhere private to talk. I don’t want to do this in front of Harry, although Moony may want to make sure I don’t ….. What the?!”

“Siri? What is it?” Cat asked, her voice full of concern as she saw the look of confusion on his face.

“The door, its gone” he stated, a look of disbelief on his face as he felt the walls, trying to feel for an opening. He paused and turned when he heard the giggling coming from Cat.

“I think you were right about Remus, but he’s making sure you don’t run away this time.” Cat teased, “I taught him this trick years ago. Its simple, but very, very effective.” Sitting down on the sofa, Cat patted the seat next to her, “Come on Sirius, I want you to tell me what happened, and why you don’t have a name anymore.”

“Promise you won’t turn away from me?” he asked weakly, “Please gra, swear to me you won’t leave me, you and Harry are all I’m living for anymore.” he immediately felt Cat’s arms around him, pulling him down next to her as she stroked his long, dark hair. She had always hinted to him that he should let it grow instead of cutting it off above his shoulders, well, she got her wish after all it seemed.

“Hush now Sirius.” Cat cooed as she pulled him next to her, stroking his hair as she tried to soothe him. “When have I ever turned my heart from you? Even when you teased me, put spells on me that made me grow a beard, have the heels of my shoes whistle with every step I took, and I won’t even bring up what you did to my panties.”

Sirius chuckled softly, “that one wasn’t my idea, that was James, he wanted me to try it out on you before he tried it on Lily.”

“I’m guessing, considering ‘my’ reactions, he thought better of it?” she asked knowingly, relieved to see a smile on Sirius’s face.

“Considering the amount of bruises you gave me? Yes, he decided very quickly it wasn’t worth it.” Sirius sighed deeply as he snuggled against Cat. “This is what I’ve missed most gra, just being with you. Laughing and talking like we used to, I don’t want to lose this again, I can’t lose you again.” He smiled as he felt Cat’s soft kisses on his hair, he tightened his grasp on her waist as he continued. “Where do I start Cat? I don’t even remember how much I’ve told you.”

“You told me about Lily and James, and the fact that Peter betrayed them. You said people blamed you, but Sirius, you never told me why anyone would blame you for what Peter did.” She said, her voice barely more than a whisper.

“Because he framed me! That little rat-bastard had it planned from the beginning. He waited until he thought I had left for Japan. But I wanted to check in on him one more time, just to make sure he was safe, especially since he was their secret keeper. But he wasn’t home, I got this horrible, horrible feeling in my stomach Cat. It was as if everything suddenly fell into place, I jumped on the bike and got to James’ place as soon as I could. I wanted to apparate, but Lily had had special charms placed on the house to prevent any unexpected guests.” he shook his head as his tears began again. He felt as if he couldn’t relive this yet again, this was one of the few memories he had never lost, nearly everyday the horror of the realization that he had all but handed his best friends and godson over to Voldemort’s spy played in his head. Some days it had been nearly enough to drive him mad, it had only been the knowledge that Harry had survived and may still need him that allowed him to hold onto his mind.

“Sirius” Cat said gently, “What happened after you found Harry and Hagrid?” she had remembered all too well what had happened to Sirius the last time he had relived this memory. She had been forced to slap him in order to bring him back to the here and now, and considering how frail his mind and soul seemed at the moment, she had no wish to make him relive anything so horrible ever again. “What did you do when Hagrid took Harry?” she prompted as she continued to stroke his hair and kiss him tenderly.

“Hagrid?” Sirius repeated as Cat’s voice snapped him out of his thoughts. “He had been sent there by Dumbledore, he was given permission to use a borrowed wand and apparate back to Hogsmeade if he needed to, but he told me he had never been very good at apparating, he hadn’t been in school long enough to be properly taught. So I gave him the bike, I had just put the sidecar back on that morning…..” He snorted softly as he realized how strangely things can work out. “I put it on because I was so sure I was going to find you this time, and I knew I would be able to convince you to come back with me. I figured it was a long trip back, and I didn’t want you to get tired and fall off, so I bolted that stupid sidecar on. Guess it was a good thing I did, it made a perfect cradle for Harry.”

“You were going to Japan to find me? But how did you even know I was there?” Cat asked as she began twirling Sirius’s hair around her fingers in an attempt to distract herself from his breath against her bosom as he rested against her shoulder. “I hadn’t even been told about it until a few days before, Father had felt it would be a good idea for me to learn more discipline in the use of my powers.”

“Lily received a letter from you family, telling her that they had forwarded her letter to you and giving her a general address for a Shinto temple near the coast. I put two and two together and figured Japan wasn’t ‘that’ big of an island.” he paused when he heard Cat giggling softly. Looking up, he nearly burst out laughing when he saw the look in her eyes, it was something between disbelief and adoration. “What?”

“What? Honestly Sirius Black, ‘Japan isn’t ‘that’ big of an island’. What were you thinking?” she asked as she caressed his face, smiling as she remembered how romantic he could be.

“Well it isn’t.” he retorted as he sat up straight, feeling a renewed strength flowing through him when he realized nothing he said was going to chase her away from him, not as long as she could look at him like that. “And as for Peter, I chased after him on foot, tracking him down day and night. I finally caught up with him, and I should have known something was up right there and then.” he sighed as he appreciated how obvious it must have been “He stood in the middle of the street, a crowed muggle street, yelling about how I betrayed James and Lily and now was going to kill him too. He pulled out his wand, … I thought he was going to use it on me, you know, claim self-defense or something. But instead, he pointed it down at the ground, as I later found out, right above a gas line main. He blew up the whole block, muggles and all.” Sirius whispered, wincing as he remembered the moment, only to feel Cat pick up his hand and kiss it tenderly over and over again. He loved the ways she would find to reassure him, it had been that way through their entire time together. Squeezing her tightly against him, he continued. “Everyone thought ‘I’ had been the who did it, I was billed as the most infamous wizard in England, killing….gods, what was it, eleven, twelve people with one curse. I didn’t even have the chance to run, I was knocked silly by the explosion. The next thing I knew, the Ministry had me in chains…”

“They what?” Cat gasped, “They couldn’t possibly think you had anything to do with it. You would never kill innocent people, muggle or wizard, and your father was head of the Mysteries, surely that must have stood for something…” she became quiet when she saw the look in Sirius’s eyes. “Oh Siri, ….no….” she reached up and wiped away his tears as she guided his head towards her shoulder. “Muirneach aon, please, tell me they listened to your friends. Tell me they listened to Albus and Remus, to Professor ….”

“No Cat.” Sirius said flatly.

“They wouldn’t listen? But I thought by law they had to let [u]anyone[/u] with valid information speak at a trial ….”

“They didn’t defend me.” he whispered, “Everyone thought it was me, everyone.”

Cat sat there numbly, it just wasn’t possible. “What do you mean they didn’t defend you. Remus would have told them that Peter was the secret keeper, and Albus..” She felt his hair rubbing against her neck as he shook his head.

“They didn’t know, no one but James, Lily, Peter and I knew the truth.” he confessed, “Everyone else was supposed to think it was me, so ‘I’ would be the one they would chase. And to be honest, we knew there was a spy among us, but who would have thought it was scared little Peter.”

“You mean you thought Remus was the spy?” Cat asked, not believing anyone who knew Remus would even think that of him. “But why? How?”

Sirius clenched his jaw, he was afraid she would ask this question, it was one of the reasons he had been so worried about telling her about Azkaban. After all, she had loved Remus first, and they had always been close. “Because we didn’t know who else it could be.” he admitted weakly, waiting for her to pull back, or push him away from her. “I knew it wasn’t me, and Peter was such a coward….let’s face it, we all thought he would faint dead away or run screaming if he ever came face to face with Voldemort. And Remus had a lot more to gain than the rest of us” he added softly, tightening his embraced when it became obvious Cat wasn’t going to push him away. “Voldemort had been recruiting all sorts of fringe members of the world. Vampires, hags, werewolves, giants….”

“Remus would no more betray his friends than you would.” Cat replied shakily, she couldn’t believe what had happened. “Didn’t anyone stand up for you at the trial?” she asked as she ran her hands up and down Sirius’s back, as much to calm him as herself.

“No, there was no trial, just a quick inquisition and life in prison.” he explained in a whisper as he nuzzled against her neck, praying silently that she would understand what that meant.

“What do you mean ‘no trial’ ? There had to be a trial, they can’t just send you away…..” Cat felt her world fall out from under her as she finally put all the hints he had been giving her together. “Oh blessed mother, no….Siri? Siri, is this why you asked me if I knew what Azkaban was? Is that what they did to you?” She asked as she pushed him away from her. She needed to see his eyes, she needed to know that he hadn’t suffered the way Harry had hinted at this afternoon. Seeing the painful dullness in his eyes, she finally began to understand “Sirius, ….no” she whispered as she immediately pulled him to her, hugging him tightly as they both sobbed against each other, rocking gently as the pain and torment of too many years spilled out of them.

“This is what I‘ve been so afraid to tell you gra.” Sirius admitted, “I’ve lost everything Cat, most of my life, my family, my youth, my best friend . . You. I can’t bear it anymore. I can’t stand the thought of living without you and Harry. You are my family. I can’t even begin to explain how much I love you both.” he explained as his lips found hers once more. He placed several tender kisses on them as he cradled her head in his hand, loving the feel of her soft, silky hair as it cascaded through his fingers and down her back. “Please, gra, say something….”

“I don’t know what to say.” she responded weakly, she had been expecting to hear something traumatic, that was true, but never did she think it would be anything so horrific. They had stolen his life, without conscience or reason, they had effectively robbed him of his future and his past. “Is this why you never married or had children? Is this why you look so ill? They stole you away for that long?”

“It’s the reason I never found and married ‘you’. Cat, I swear, I never loved anyone else the way I love you. I wanted to bring you home, start a family” he explained as he cupped her face in his warm, gentle hands. “Please tell me I still have a chance. I know you have other men chasing you, and I’m sure the Clan will have a big say in your choice, but please, please tell me I at least have a chance.”

“Oh Siri” Cat sighed as she tilted her head towards him, allowing him to kiss her again. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner? Why didn’t anyone tell me what had happened? I know you’d never betray James or Lily, I would have testified for you, hell I would have broken you out if that’s what it would have taken.”

“It would, trust me, it’s the only reason I’m here now.” Sirius said flatly.

“You mean they didn’t leave you out?!! No one has overturned your….well I can’t call it a conviction, you never had a blinking trial.” she spat, her eyes flashing angrily as the full implication of his situation hit her. Fuming, she pulled out of Sirius’s embrace, ranting vehemently as she stood up and paced across the floor. “So help me Sirius, as soon as we go back, I am going straight to that idiot, Fudge, and demanding that he overturns the charges. I want to see the flippin evidence, I want to see them defend their actions to ’me’, I want…..” She stared at Sirius as she heard him snickering softly. “What?”

“Oh Cat, my beautiful, loving, wonderful Cat.” he smiled, walking towards her “in all my dreams I never thought you would get so angry so quickly.” he teased as he embraced her, gently pulling her head forward and kissing her forehead as she wrapped her arms around his waist. “I love you Cat, no matter what they did to me, I never forgot how much I love you.” he whispered. “I can’t even begin to tell you how long this has been weighing on my soul. I was so frightened you wouldn’t want to be near me when you found out.”

“Why?” Cat asked simply.

“What do you mean, Cat?” he asked, a look of confusion crossing his face.

“What made you think I wouldn’t stand by you? After everything we’ve been through, I thought you would have known me better than that.” she replied softly.

“I know, I never should have doubted you, I’m sorry. But I do have more to tell you.” he sighed as he took her hand and led her back to the sofa. “This is were things get tricky. I think either Albus or Remus told you I was sent off on missions for Albus?” Seeing Cat nod he continued “Well, that wasn’t far from the truth actually. I’ve been putting my knack for getting in and out of things to good use, I spy and track for Albus and I keep an eye on Harry. Voldemort’s tried to kill him several times, and last year he almost succeeded, I should have been there for him, but Albus persuaded me it would be better if I patrolled the school instead.”

“But why? Wouldn’t it be better for you to stay as close to Harry as possible?” Cat questioned.

“Yes, and if I were a free man, I could. But Cat, if they capture me, they won’t just send me back to Azkaban. I’m the only person to have ever escaped from there gra, they intend to make an example of me. If they ever catch me, I’m worse than dead. They’ll give me the dementor’s kiss, do you know what that is?” Seeing her shake her head, Sirius took a deep breath as he tried to ignore the cringing in his stomach as he thought about the fate they had planned for him.

“The dementors are the guards of Azkaban. They feed off of emotions, ripping the happy and peaceful memories out of you until all that’s left is every horrible thing that has every happened in your life. The pain is unbearable, and the mental anguish drives most of the prisoners mad within the first year, those are the lucky ones.” he explained as he began to tremble, tears slipping down his face as he recalled the darkest days of his existence. “You never heard another voice, unless it was screaming as the dementors played with them, making them relive the most unspeakable moments of their lives. By the end of my second year, I couldn’t even scream anymore, I just didn’t have the strength.” he paused when he felt Cat kissing him and her soft hands on his face.

“Siri? Sweetie, please,” she said softly as her eyes glistened with tears. “You don’t have to do this. You’re shaking like a leaf, and your eyes have that far away look in them again.” she explained as she picked up his hand in both of hers and held it against her face. Cat smiled with relief when she saw Sirius look at her and smile from his heart, she was so afraid she had lost him to the memories he was reliving.

“Yes Cat, I do have to do this, I need you to understand, and I don’t want you to have to guess about things. If I had only had the courage to tell you sooner……” he paused, he couldn’t bring up Snape, not now, not like this. “The dementors have another nasty little trick, they can steal your soul. They leave your body alive, or what passes for alive, as they suck your soul out, consume it. I’ve only seen it done once, but it will haunt me for the rest of my life. I kept hoping he would die, that a part of him wasn’t stuck inside of his body, rotting away as the rest of him just went on existing.”

“And that is what they want to do to you?” she gasped, her eyes wide with horror “Siri, no, they can’t.” she insisted, burying her head into his chest as her tears fell. “Won’t anyone listen? Can’t Albus make them see how wrong they are?” she sobbed softly, tightening her embrace as Sirius hugged her fiercely.

“That’s why I haven’t been spending more time with you gra. Believe me, I would love nothing more than to be able to walk you to and from your classes like we used to. Or take you out for dinner and dancing.” he replied, a bittersweet smile on his lips as he remembered how much he adored dancing with her. “But until I can find Peter and clear my name, all I have is a few stolen moments with you. That’s why I’m so glad Harry and Albus took it upon themselves to ‘insist’ I come here with you. It’s the only place I can be free.” he placed his fingers under Cat’s chin, tilting her head upwards and looking into her eyes. He felt the anger and pain inside of him melt away as he looking into her soft eyes, they brought back so many wonderful memories of happier days. Days when he thought he had his whole life ahead of him, days that he would lay in the sun with Cat next to him, planning their future together. “Cat, I love you, please tell me you love me too. Tell me we can be together again, please.”

As much as Cat wanted to say yes, she knew she couldn’t. She had just shared herself with Severus, and he loved her every bit as much as Sirius did. And the fact that she may be carrying a child weighed heavily on her mind, although judging from Sirius’s reactions to the other babies, that may not be the obstacle one would think. “I do love you Sirius, but if your asking me to simply turn my back on anyone else,…… I can’t, I won’t.” She said firmly, her heart aching as she saw the pain flash across Sirius’s eyes. “I know you and Sev hate each other, and I’m hoping one day you can at least be civil to one another. But I won’t abandon him anymore that I would abandon you” she explained as she showered his face with soft kisses, forcing him to look at her and not run away.

As much as Cat’s words hurt Sirius, he had to admit, it felt wonderful to get everything out in the open, and her kisses were certainly easing his pain. He felt the familiar fire stirring within him, the fire she alone ignited. This moment reminded him of the first time they really kissed, what was that game, seven minutes of heaven? He sighed as he felt her lips against his again, encircling her with his arms, he leaned her backwards ever so slightly, supporting her in his embrace as he pressed up against her. His heart fluttered as he heard a soft sigh escape her lips “Oh gra” he whispered as he pressed forward, wondering when or even if she would stop him……