“Yes, yes, I know all about that. They saved her life, bravo for them” Merlin replied sardonically, “But we are talking about ‘you’, not them. That attack, as accidental and unplanned as it may have been in your conscious mind…”

“Are you saying I “chose” to attack her?” Remus asked angrily as he jumped up quickly, standing nose to nose with the man.

Merlin smiled slyly as he saw the flash of truth in Remus’s eyes. “Yes. I am saying that deep down inside of you, you were so terrified of that happening. And so frightened of losing your heart to her that when you transformed, your subconscious mind did exactly what you had fought against, your own animal instincts. You wanted to posses her in a way no other man had or could.” he said calmly, “and part of you still does, that’s why ‘you’ have yet to forgive Sirius Black for what he did to her.”

“That’s not true, I never once said to him….” Remus stated.

“True, you never ‘said’ it to him, but you’ve thought it many, many times. Even after you tore her flesh, felt and tasted her blood, she still had love in her heart for you. But while the mind of a beast could have accepted that, the mind of a man, particularly one as keen as yours, could not. You cut out your own heart to protect her, and to give to Sirius what he had been searching for, someone that he could love with all the depths of his soul.”

“You did this with the unspoken understanding between you that she would never be one of his flings, that he would love her forever. Isn’t that right?” Merlin asked as he once more pushed Remus into the chair. Hearing no objections, Merlin continued “It hurt you deeply, but you saw how much he loved her, you saw the look in his eyes, the words on his lips. And when my little girl finally began to return his affections, you eased your pain by telling yourself you did the right thing, the honorable thing….the only thing.” he said as he sat on the arm of the chair and took Remus’s hand in his own, squeezing it to get Remus’s attention. “But when you saw him ‘throw away’ I believe were the words you used, Kitty, your heart hardened against him. You felt he had betrayed you and your sacrifice every bit as much as he had betrayed Catrianna.”

Remus fought of the tears that were screaming to be released, he didn’t want to hear anymore of this. He knew what he hid inside his own heart, he didn’t need anyone to tell him how badly he had behaved towards Sirius. “Let me go.” he said evenly as he tried to pull his hand away from Kitty’s godfather. “I don’t care who you are, or what you think you’re doing. Let me go.”

“No my friend. Its time all of you healed, Sirius, Kitty….and you.” Merlin replied calmly as he held Remus’s had fast in his own. “You hated Sirius for what he did to her, both in the name of love and in the name of lust. I know how bitterly you wept when you found out he had made love to her, I know how it broke your heart.” he said softly, noticing the tears that sprung to Remus’s eyes at the mere memory. “You still loved her, you still do, and part of you wants to reclaim her, doesn’t it?”

Remus avoided the man’s eyes “It doesn’t matter. She and Sirius were meant to be together, she was always happy when he was near her. And I’ve never know Sirius to be so contented to be with one woman. That’s the part I don’t understand. He loved her, I ‘know’ he did, I could see it every time he looked at her, every touch, every word…..” Remus blushed crimson as he remembered the night he had followed them into the forest, he had watched them make love, heard every sound, seen every touch, tasted every scent. Feeling ashamed of his own thoughts, he became suddenly angry, he turned to the man. “Since you seem to know so much, maybe you can tell me why. Why did he do it? Why did he hurt her? Why did he betray her, betray us?” he yelled as the tears stung his eyes. “Well? Tell me, why did he go off with that slut and leave Kitty behind, crying her eyes out. Do you know how many nights I held her as she sobbed? Do you know how much I wanted to take her the way he had and make her forget he ever existed? I wanted to make love to her, to make her understand how much I still……” Remus grit his teeth, refusing to say anything further, after all Kitty trusted him, how could he even think of her in such a way.

Merlin looked at Remus sadly, “Yes, I do. I know how tempted you’ve been, and how lonely. But you knew she trusted you, you above all men, she knew you would never harm her, never betray her, never use her. That is why she loves you so deeply, she listens to your advice, trusts your counsel. She knows you are a man of your word. Which leads me to the whole reason we are having this discussion.”

“Which is?” Remus snapped as he wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his robe.

“The promise you made to her as she watched over Harry and Sirius earlier today. About what you would do if she had Severus Snape as her only choice. Did you mean what you said? OR was it simply your subconscious rising to the surface again? Tell me now, and tell me true Remus J. Lupin, would you marry her?”

“When LJ and I walk the path?” Harry responded, completely confused as to what she meant.

“Sure” LJ grinned, “I mean, you’re fifteen too, right?” seeing Harry nod, LJ continued, “Well then, you and I and all the other boys who turned fifteen since last May will have to walk the path, it’s a rite of passage. After you complete it, you get to be one of the men” he explained, puffing his chest out proudly. “I’m going to be a warrior like Uncle Duncan and Uncle Frank. I don’t want to be a seer like my da and have ghosts and crazy people chasing me all the time.”

“HEY!!!” a girls voice yelled out from the back of the room, “I heard that Luke Hamish MacLeod Junior”

“Shuddap Moira” LJ yelled back “I don’t care what you say, having the second site is completely over rated”

“Moira?” Harry asked as he peered around LJ. “Is she a nook? Or a cousin?”

“She’s a pest” LJ sighed, only to have a stuffed bunny hit him squarely on the head. “See, I told you.” he added, rolling his eyes dramatically.

“Brat.” Moira said as she easily caught the stuffed bunny as LJ threw it back at her, “Hi, I’m Moira. Are you cousin Harry?” she asked, smiling brightly as she extended her hand to Harry.

“Yes I am, Hi.” he replied softly, feeling himself blush as Moira’s eyes stared deeply into his own. He had the feeling she was seeing into his soul when she looked into his eyes. He watched the way the glow from the trees reflected off of the strawberry highlights in her blonde hair. She was an inch or so taller than he was, slim and very pretty, he smiled as he looked back into her blue-green eyes and felt all tingly as she took his hand. “You’re Moira?”

“Duh” LJ teased as he playfully knocked Harry on his shoulder “I think she just said that, oh and this is my sister Bree, our cousins Esther, Ricky, Feargus, Seamus, and Angus, the triplets, Terri, Kara, Tim, Adelhied. You’ve already met Diane, Callista, Sara, Tanja, Meg, Moira and….. Oh gheez, I‘ve lost track” LJ sighed as everyone crowded in to meet Harry.

Harry, for his part, was enjoying the new, yet strangely familiar faces of his clan. He smiled cheerfully as he was hugged and kissed by his cousins.

“Hey, give the guy room to breathe” Collin teased as he and Katie walked in to check up on the children. “And LJ, don’t you think you and Moira are a bit too old to be playing with stuffed toys?” he asked as he caught the bunny they had been throwing back and forth at each other.

“Hey, give me back my bunny Uncle Collin” whined a small girl of about ten years of age. “And don’t try getting Monty to eat it again either.” she scowled as Tanja walked over with Monty draped across her shoulders.

Collin bent down on one knee and handed the stuffed bunny back to Ariele. “And who was trying to feed this to the big, bad snake honeybun?” he asked as he brushed her hair off of her face. “Don’t tell me the big kids are giving you a hard time again darling girl.”

Ariele wrapped her arms tightly around the bunny and nodded her head. “And Tanja told me if I told Harry about what Callista said, I would never see bunbun again.”

“She did, did she?” he asked, raising an eyebrow as he stared at Tanja, silently scolding her for teasing her younger cousin. “Well I don’t think Monty would eat bunbun, he likes his food a bit, well, meatier.”

“She” Ariele corrected him.

“She who?” Collin asked

“She Monty, she’s a girl, you called her a he.” Ariele explained as she grinned up at her favorite uncle.

“Ok, ‘Monty’ is a girl huh… and ‘how’ do you know this?” Collin asked with a smirk on his face. He loved having these ‘discussions’ with Ariele, the things she came up with were nothing short of amazing.

“Harry told us” Ariele stated plainly, “he can talk to snakes, and Monty told him she was upset because Tanja doesn’t giver her crickets anymore and because we kept calling her a him.”

Collin turned to face Harry “Is that true? Can you speak to snakes?” he asked as Katie walked up behind him and gently placed her hand on his shoulder.

“Uhm, yeah, I kind of can.” Harry replied, somewhat embarrassed by the looks and whispers of some of his cousins who hadn’t yet heard.

“Well it appears Kitty’s son does have some of her talents” Katie remarked as she smiled at Harry. “She talks to all sorts of things. Rather frightening actually.”

“He’s not scary at all” Tanja interjected as Monty moved from her shoulders to Harry’s, glowing softly as she twisted herself around his arm and across his shoulders. “See, Monty just loves him.”

“Yeah, him and crickets” Sara teased as Harry rolled his eyes at her. “Hey, Callista. Why don’t you help Harry with Monty?” she added, laughing deeply as Callista blushed brightly and narrowed her eyes at her cousin.

“You know Sara, you would think that someone who sleeps as deeply as you do would have enough sense not to make enemies before bed.” Callista all but growled.

“Enemies? What enemies? I was simply asking you to help our cousin,” Sara replied coolly “But if you don’t want to, I guess I’ll just do it myself.” she added as she touched Monty’s head and closed her eyes. Within seconds the snake had disappeared into thin air, only to reappear on Tanja’s hammock, a bit confused, but none the worse for wear……

“I meant every word of it.” Remus told him. “And you’re right, I love her, but I love Sirius just as much. I want them to be happy, I want to look into their eyes and celebrate the birth of their children and grandchildren…. I want… I want….” he sighed deeply as he slumped into the chair.

“You want to belong, you want to love and be loved” Merlin finished for him as he gave Remus a friendly hug. “You must know you are not alone anymore my friend. Kitty, Sirius, Harry, Albus, Minerva they have all stood by your side. You have been a good friend to all of them, they trust and rely on you. But now its time to concern yourself with you.”

“And what does that mean?” Remus asked flatly, “And don’t give me that Buddha smile of yours.”

“It means its time ‘you’ settle down as well. And before you argue with me, may I remind you that we are currently in a house full of women who have no qualms regarding your curse, and if fact, several of them are impervious to it, and to you in your ‘wild’ state.”

“What?! What do you mean, impervious? Who, which ones?” Remus asked excitedly, almost fearing to believe what the man was telling him.

Merlin smiled widely, he knew this is what was bothering Remus. It was true he still loved Kitty, but he also loved her enough to want her happy and safe. He was simply lonely, he wanted to share his life with someone, after all it was only natural. “Oh a few of them.” Merlin replied as he pulled Remus up and motioned for him to follow “I think you met one of them already. Kitty’s fiercest protector, Tristessa.”

“Tristessa? The Gangrel? The one who stole me from the dorms all those years ago to heal Kitty?” Remus asked.

Merlin nodded as he clapped Remus on the back, “That would be her. I think Accalia and two of the Caitiffs, Coco and Desiree would fall into that category as well…..”

“Tristessa” Remus said softly as his eyes twinkled with an inner glow……..