Sirius found himself wishing he could be as accepted as Remus obviously was, but so few people knew him now. If Deirdre has still been alive, he was certain things would have been much different, they had always gotten on so well, but even she probably wouldn’t recognize him in his current state. He gazed at Cat and wondered if she could ever truly love him again, he knew he wasn’t the handsome young man she had left behind, and he still had so much to tell her, so much to try and explain. It hurt his head and his heart as he thought of how he could tell her, Azkaban would be straight forward enough, and he truly believed she would be able to understand and accept that. But he also knew she would want to know why he had betrayed her, and the sad truth was, he didn’t know.

He startled as he felt a warm hand touch his shoulder “Sirius?” and old woman with piercing aqua eyes asked. She smiled warmly as he nodded his head.

“Good, I’ve been waiting to meet you” the woman said as she escorted him to a corner of the room. She was dressed in traveling clothes, a long colorful skirt over her high boots, a belted leather tunic vest and an empty scabbard. Her long silver white hair was pinned into a bun on the crown of her head, revealing her pointed elven ears. She had a commanding presence and a gentle voice, which immediately put Sirius at ease.

“You’ve been waiting to meet me?” he repeated his voice shaking with nervousness as the woman’s eyes penetrated his soul……

Harry smiled at Sara, “Uhm I wanted to ask you something” he said, feeling more confident as Sara turned and smiled at him “You said Ginny told you about Sirius? You don’t mean Ginny Weasley do you? How can you know her?”

“Ginny, pretty, longish red hair, lots of brothers…” Sara replied, not really sure what Ginny’s last name was.

“Yeah, that’s her. How do you know her? Have you been to Hogwarts?” Harry asked, beginning to feel uncomfortable.

“Not yet, but Aunt Kitty tells me I can go back with you. A few us are going to try this Hogwarts to see if we like it, if not we’ll just come back home.” Sara explained “Ginny was here with your mum about a week or so ago. One of her brother’s burnt a hole in a gown and she needed a dress for some ball, and Aunt Kitty knows I have more clothes than I know what to do with. Was she your date?”

“No” Harry replied, suddenly feeling angry that his mum had brought Ginny here before she had brought him. “Is there anything else she told you?” he asked, not really caring at this point.

Sara raised her eyebrow and stopped mid-step “What’s wrong with you? I thought she was your friend, she certainly couldn’t say enough wonderful things about you. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say she was your girlfriend.” Sara responded, holding Harry’s arm fast, refusing to release him until he answered her.

“She is my friend, its just…. never mind, you wouldn’t understand.” Harry replied, trying to smile.

“Try me” Sara responded, not willing to give up just yet. “You’re obviously upset about something, and it must have to do with her, cuz you were fine before I mentioned her. Did she hurt you?” Sara asked, her voice becoming suddenly low as her eyes glittered fiercely.

“NO!” Harry replied immediately, fearing what Sara would do to Ginny “She’s great, and she is my friend, her brother Ron is my best friend.” he added quickly. “Its just, …I thought mum would bring ‘me’ here first, I mean…. I’m her son, this is my home, right? So why would she bring Ginny here and not bring me, not even tell me..”

Sara shrugged her shoulders as she began to walk down the hall again, half dragging Harry with her “Grown ups are like that sometimes. They just don’t think, I’m sure she didn’t mean anything by it. Ginny needed a dress and she knew I had some.” Sara suddenly paused again, “Hey, did you see Ginny? Did you dance with her? How did she look?”

Harry smiled widely as he remembered how beautiful Ginny had looked that night. “She looked amazing, everyone wanted to dance with her.”

“Even you?” Sara asked, digging for as much information as she could get.

“Uhm… yeah, me too.” Harry replied, becoming very red as he remembered Ginny kissing him and running away.

“I’m betting she danced with you the most.” Sara smiled “Did you kiss her?”

“Sara!!!!” LJ roared, “Let him alone!” LJ quickly pulled Harry out of his cousin’s grip and gently pushed Harry down the hall ahead of him. “Ignore her Harry, she’s a brat” he said loudly as Sara stuck out her tongue at him.

Harry smiled thankfully at LJ, grateful for the timely rescue, he had the distinct feeling she would go straight to Cat about the kiss, and he couldn’t bare to answer all of Cat’s questions right now, he had far too many of his own.

Harry stared in amazement as LJ directed him to continue down the hall, the deeper they went into the house, the more Harry realized how strange his new home was. Part of it was actually built into the large hill that rose up behind the stone home. Harry ran his fingers along the wall, smiling as he felt the roots of the tall oak and rowan trees that crowned the hill above them. “How deep do they go?” he asked out of curiosity.

“Not nearly as deep as the house” LJ replied, laughing as he saw Harry’s eyes grow wide. “The house goes down deep, really, really deep. That’s where the childer sleep, some of the older ones too, but they like to see the sun.” he winked.

“You mean there are Gangrel here too?” Harry asked, a huge smile covering his face. “Does that mean Cash will be coming here? I thought he had to stay at the school.”

LJ screwed up his face in concentration for a moment. “I don’t know if Uncle Cash is coming or not, but Auntie Tris, Tanta Eisine and Tanta Accalia are all here already. I think they just got back from Aunt Maharet’s, she was summoning all sorts of people over the past two days. Da’s really worried about it, he thinks its about Aunt Kitty.”

Harry froze, “Aunt Kitty? You mean my mum? Why is your dad worried, that’s Uncle Luke, right?” Harry asked just to be sure. When LJ nodded he continued “Why is he worried? Is everything alright?”

LJ sighed deeply and looked around at his other cousins, Sara and Callista were busy arguing over Sara’s earlier comments, Kelly and Erin were discussing cricket with Einy, and Liam was far ahead of them, his mind in the clouds as usual. “Da thinks they were discussing a husband for Aunt Kitty, the crones are really up in arms over her not having babies.” LJ whispered softly “Da is dead set against it, and so is Grandda, but Maharet always wins. Da and my uncles are afraid she’ll end up like Aunt Wanda, or worse.”……

Severus slammed the door to Albus’s office, at this point he could care less if Voldemort himself appeared in front of him. He wanted to tear Cash into pieces, to prove to the vampire that he was wrong, that Catri truly loved him and not Black. But Dumbledore had insisted he leave, it was all the headmaster could do to hold the wretched beast back. All in all, it was probably best that he had left, he thought as he felt the bitter tears stinging his eyes. He could not lose her now, not after everything they had shared. “He must have forced her to take Lupin and Black with her” Severus spat as he walked down the hall. “He probably told her it was to protect them and Potter. She is a very caring person, he simply used that against her.” he reasoned. But still, the Gangrel’s words rang through his head. “Did she ever, even once, during the whole time you were with her, - Did she ever tell you she loved you?”

Severus clenched his teeth as Cash’s words lingered in his thoughts. “It is not true” he told himself “she loves you. She never would have given herself to you if she had any doubts.” Even as the words left his lips, he realized how hollow they sounded . His heart ached as he thought of living the rest of his life without her, he could not imagine going back to his house without her at his side , it was so cold and empty devoid of her presence, her laughter, her voice. He wiped away his tears as he strode through the halls on his way to his chambers, he needed to find her, to talk with her. He needed to ask her if she loved him….

Angus approached Raul and stood quietly behind the Primogen, waiting for Raul to recognize his presence and speak to him. He sighed softly as he realized Raul knew he was there, but was unwilling to talk, luckily though, Angus was blessed with an almost inexhaustible supply of patience. He would wait until the Primogen addressed him, or walked away.

“I’m not going to walk away from you Angus” Raul sighed deeply as he caught the thoughts from his clan mates mind. “You and Cash worry too much, I just need some time to myself, time to think, time to…”

“Time to blame yourself for something that was beyond your control” Angus suggested. “Or maybe wallow in a little pity with just a hint of self-doubt?” he teased gently.

Raul snorted disdainfully “What is it with you MacLeods? Have you no respect for the order of things, or just not for me?”

Angus shook his head as he sat down at Raul’s feet “You take it the wrong way Raul” he chided “Now before you argue with me, let me ask you something. I know you’re upset because you think we don’t respect you or your authority, right?” he paused as Raul half nodded. “Thought so,” Angus grinned, “okay, just stop and think for a moment. You know we respect Cash, we look up to him and pretty much do as he asks, but did you ever notice we treat him the same way we treat you?”

“No, you don’t, you listen to him, you ask for his advice.” Raul countered, “How many times have you gone to him and not me, and now Hamish thinks he makes the …..” Raul clenched his fist as he bit his lip to stop the anger from flowing out of his mouth.

Angus placed his hand on Raul’s leg in an attempt to get the primogen’s attention. “Hamish didn’t mean it like that and you know it.” Angus retorted, “He feels every bit as guilty about what happened to Fred as you do. He was supposed to protect them, they trusted him, he feels he let them down. This is his way of making amends to them….and to you, he let you down as well.”

Raul raised one eyebrow as he stared at Angus.

“You told him and Roel to keep the twins safe, they failed you. You have no idea how much that hurts Hamish. He’s used to succeeding at everything he tries, he always has, even growing up, everything came so easy to him. He needed to be the best, the first, the one who everyone wanted to be.” Angus shrugged his shoulders “its just the way he is, and he feels things much more deeply than he’ll ever admit, just like you.”

“But he’s not Primogen, “I” should have been more prepared, “I” should have realized it was a trap, Cash would have.” Raul replied, wincing as he realized how close he had come to losing his entire clan.

“Cash was half-dead himself by that time, and the silence between us was a huge hindrance.” Angus reminded him, “Raul, no one blames you but you. And if you think I’m wrong, then ask yourself why Cash sent me to make sure you were alright. If he didn’t think highly of you, he would kill you, trust me, he’s done it before. Remember your predecessor?”

Raul cringed as he remembered the former Gangrel’s fate. “All to clearly” he shuddered. “But it still doesn’t make my actions any less….. If Angel hadn’t shown up when she did.” he took a deep breath. “Angus, what is she? What sort of creature can do what I saw tonight? That wasn’t my Angel.”

“Yes, it was.” Angus replied firmly, “Every bit as much as it was her who healed the wounded. She was protecting her family, she would kill or die to keep us safe, just as we would for her. Only you’re used to the way we kill.” he winked.

“No, it was more than that. Angel has always been the frail, warm, kind hearted mortal child of the clan. Granted her son was in danger, but still, I have never seen that side of her before, and I hope never to again. I‘ve never seen her so cold or heart-less, she barely even noticed their screams.”

“Something else is bothering you.” Angus said knowingly, “What is it?”

Raul half-grinned “Am I that transparent?”

“Only to me” Angus replied, flashing a wonderful smile as his curly hair shook with his laughter.

“It’s Angel” Raul admitted “If she could so easily protect herself and her family, why are we even needed? Surely she doesn’t actually ‘need’ our protection.”

“You’re probably right” Angus commented “but she wants it, she wants us. She trusts the Gangrel, she trusts you and me and Cash and all the others. She is our mortal childe and she loves and trusts us with all of her heart. Knowing this, would you abandon her?”

“Never” Raul responded quickly, smiling widely as he finally realized what Angus was trying to tell him. ……

“So, you are the infamous Sirius Black” the old woman said as she smiled and gently touched Sirius’s face with the back of her fingers. “Cash can’t seem to stop talking about you, and I seem to recall my little Catri speaking of you often when she was younger. But I also remember her crying over you,” she added, noting the pained look in his eyes when she mentioned it. “Have you made amends with her? Have you asked her for forgiveness?”

Sirius hung his head “No, I can’t seem to bring myself to talk about it. I know she’s going to ask me why I did it. And to be honest, I still don’t know.” he explained as he winced “At first I thought it was because I was too scared to commit to her, but I wanted to marry her so that doesn’t make sense. Then I thought maybe I did it to prove a point, to prove ….I don’t even know what.”

“But that wasn’t it either?” She prodded gently, lifting his chin so he had to look into her eyes. “Talk to me child, I see the way my little girl looks at you. I agree with Cash, she has never truly forgotten you. It seems you have always held a place in her heart.” She added as she looked to were Cat was standing, talking with Siobhan and Leah.

Sirius turned to follow the woman’s eyes, immediately focusing on Cat, his smile became soft as his eyes filled with emotion. He wanted to go to her side, to wrap his arms around her, resting against each other like they used to do. “I hope you’re right, I can’t imagine living my life without her. I - I - I……” Sirius hung his head “I haven’t a chance.” he sighed.

“What makes you say that child?” the woman asked as she once more lifted his chin so she could see into his eyes.

Sirius clenched his jaw and swallowed hard, “She just spend the night in another man’s arms.” he whispered hoarsely. “It was my own fault, I didn’t realize she still thought I was taken, I though Harry had told her I never married. I know her, I know she wouldn’t have gone with him if she didn’t love him.” Sirius wiped his eyes with the back of his sleeve “I shouldn’t even be here, Harry insisted I come, she didn’t want to bring me. She doesn’t love me anymore, not that I blame her.”

The old woman gave Sirius a sly smile as she placed her hand on his knee. “You listen to Aunt Orpha, child. I know my little girl, if she didn’t want you here, she wouldn’t have taken you. That’s number one.” she explained “Number two, you said she was ‘with’ another man?” she paused when she saw his pain, “Tell me then child, who is he, and more to the point, where is he? She brought you and Remus, so unless she’s been keeping company with our darling werewolf…..”

Sirius let out a soft chuckle, “She’s always keeping company with Remus. They have been the closest of friends since the moment she walked into Hogwarts. She knows how much he cares about her, and I know he holds a very special place in her heart, he always has.”

“That doesn’t seem to bother you though, the knowledge that she loves him.” Orpha nudged.

“There is a big difference between loving someone and being in love with them” Sirius explained.

“Hmmmm, I suggest you keep that in mind where this other fellow is concerned” Orpha replied smugly……