Cat regretfully pulled back her covers to face the cold of morning; she cringed as the cool air hit her warm body “Tell me again why I insist on living in the North? Cuz right now the Mediterranean sounds awfully good to me.” Cat froze as she saw the crumpled ball of parchment on the floor next to her bed, its pink lettering streaked by last nights tears. “Sirius” she sighed deeply “I should have known better than to even hope you would still be free.” her voice was free of the anger of last night, but her pain was still there, fresh and raw in the cold, cruel light of reality. “So much for my dreams” she said softly as she closed her eyes, holding the crumpled parchment over her heart “I’ve never been able to stop loving you Sirius Black, and I don’t know that I ever will. But I refuse to be the other woman, even for you.” Cat held the parchment out in her outstretched hand and watched as it burst into flames. “If only it were that simple were my heart was concerned. But I’ve made my decision. If it can’t be you, then I better find someone quick before my father finally stops fighting my Aunt’s and arranges a marriage for me.”

Cat sat down on her bed and placed Shashe on her lap “I know Severus and our clan don’t exactly get on Shashe, but Sirius is taken, and Remus insists he’s out of the question.” she sighed deeply “I know Severus loves me, I can see it in his eyes when he looks at me. And I have to admit, he’s far more passionate than I ever would have imagined, and I have *quite* the imagination” she added, blushing deeply at the mere thought of what would await her tonight. “I just hope Harry can accept him. Harry means the world to me, I want him to be happy, and Sev has been going out of his way to be a bit kinder to him.” Cat scratched Shashe behind her ears as she thought over how she would break the news to Harry. . . .

Harry and Ron were both up early, the excitement of this evening’s ball had them both full of nervous energy. “What am I going to do Harry” Ron asked hopelessly “I’ve been trying and trying, and I still can’t get this dancing thing straight.”

Harry smiled sympathetically, “Don’t worry Ron, I honestly don’t think Hermione will be upset about it. Just don’t step on her toes or anything” he teased as Ron grimaced. “Personally, I can’t wait. Mum’s been teaching me how to dance, and I’m pretty good at the waltz now, I think Cho will be surprised.” Harry said as he smiled happily.

Ron smirked “Well at least one of our dates will be happy. Have you figured out how you’re going to introduce Cho to MacLeod yet?”

Harry raised an eyebrow and stared at Ron “What do you mean *how*? I’m just going to introduce them. What’s the problem?” Harry asked, becoming suddenly nervous as Ron clucked his tongue.

“What’s the big deal?!!” Ron threw his arms in the air in exasperation “Harry, think about it, what if she doesn’t like Cho? What if Cho doesn’t like her? Do *you* want to be the one to pick between them?” Ron almost shouted “I’ve seen the way my mum reacts to some of the girls my brother’s have brought home. . .” Ron simply shook his head and whistled.

“Come on Ron, it can’t be that bad” Harry laughed “I mean. . .it’s Cat, you know, Remus and Cat, turning the DADA room into a winter wonderland, the tails, the neon flashing professor, Flitwick floating six feet into the air every time he hiccupped, the teacher’s lounge getting turned upside down. . .you know. . .Cat.” Harry noticed that Ron seemed less than convinced.

Ron walked over to Harry and placed a friendly hand on his shoulder “Harry, you have no clue what its like to have a mum, do you?” shaking his head, Ron directed Harry towards the door and down to the common room “Let’s find Fred and George and we can discuss it over breakfast.”. . . .

Cat smiled and waved as she entered the great hall, Ginny was all smiles as she ran up to her and breathlessly asked “Is it still all right if Hermione and I come to your room to get ready for the ball? Sara owled me and told me you had something special in mind for my hair.”

“Oh she did, did she?” Cat smiled as she smoothed Ginny’s hair “Sara needs to learn to keep a secret, and yes, I do have something special in mind. Trust me, you will be amazed” she said as she winked at Ginny, who was smiling wider and wider as the seconds passed.

“Forget about me?” Harry asked as he approached Ginny and Cat “I thought you were my mum? Ginny already has one.” he teased as Ginny stuck out her tongue. “oh. . .that’s attractive, going to do that at the ball as well?” he winced as Ginny swatted him loudly on his arm.

Cat was still laughing at them as she hugged Harry “Poor baby, but you should know better than to pick on a girl. . .especially those red-haired ones. I’ve heard they’re nothing but trouble” she winked as Harry rubbed his arm.

“You’re telling me.” Harry agreed “and who knew they could hit so hard.” He smiled as Cat draped her arm across his shoulders and walked him back to Gryffindor’s table. “So are you still coming with Professor Snape? Or have you changed your plans?” Harry asked hopefully.

“Yes and yes” Cat replied “but we’ll discuss that later. I’m actually a little disappointed that I haven’t met this Cho girl yet.” Cat hinted as she noticed Ron giving Harry a look. “What? Am I missing something here?” she asked as she narrowed her eyes at the boys.

“No” answered Ron as he quickly focused all of his attention on eating. “Nothing at all” Harry chimed in as he also took an abnormal interest in his food.

“uh huh, ok. . .I believe that” Cat replied snarkily “so what am I missing?” she asked as she tapped her foot impatiently.

Ginny started laughing loudly “Now she’s acting like our mum.” she teased as Cat laughed along with her.

“All right, I know when I’m not going to get anywhere.” Cat sighed “Harry, I’m going to stop by the tower later this afternoon. I need to discuss a few things with you about our trip. Will you be around? Or should I talk to you at the ball instead?”

“I’ll be there” Harry replied quickly “Are we leaving tonight? I can’t wait to see everyone. Do you think they’ll like me? Will we be sharing rooms? Can Sirius and Remus come too?” Harry’s questions came pouring out, one on top of the other.

“Calm down Harry” Cat sighed as she placed her hands on his shoulders. “No we’re not leaving tonight. They won’t like you, they’ll love you. More than likely. Not a chance.” Cat took a deep breath, “Now, anything else will have to wait for this afternoon. I’m starving and Remus is giving me the evil eye” she teased as she waved at Remus and Severus.

Severus smiled happily as he saw Catri’s smiling face, he could hardly wait to talk to her again. He had to be sure he hadn’t dreamt last night, he needed to hear her say she would stay with him over the holidays, even if only for a few days. Severus turned to Remus “I take it you are well Professor Lupin.” he asked knowingly

“Professor? Well now Severus, that is a first, and Cat’s not even here to hear you say it.” Remus remarked “What exactly are you up to? It’s not like you to be this happy in the morning. . . Actually its not like you to be this happy period.”

Severus smiled wickedly at Remus “I have more important issues on my mind, one of which concerns Catri and this evening.” he said as Catri walked by them “Good morning my dear. Did you sleep well last night?”

Cat smiled back at him “Yes Severus, thank you, I did. I want to talk to Harry this afternoon, may I stop by your office to speak with you after that?”

Severus felt his stomach lurch, he knew if Harry objected enough Catri would never stay with him, not even for a few hours “Of course. . .will he be joining us?” he asked pleasantly.

“Joining *us*?” Remus interrupted “Kitty, what exactly is going on? And does the clan know anything about this?”

Cat sighed “Remus, I’m a big girl, I can make my own decisions regarding my life thank you” she said softly as she placed her hand over his “I don’t want to discuss this here, if you want to talk, you know where to find me. But please, don’t come if you intend to lecture me. I’m really tired of other people trying to run my life for me.” she explained, keeping her voice even and very soft. She looked into Remus’s eyes, only to see his concern for her shining through his confusion “It’s all right Remus, I’m just tired of waiting for things to work out the way I wish they would. It’s high time I started realizing some things are just not meant to be, no matter how much I wish. . .” she shook her head and squeezed Remus’s hand.

“Kitty?” Remus asked softly as his eyes searched hers “This isn’t like you to give up hope.” he whispered back “What happened? Something must have happened.” he insisted as he turned suspiciously to Severus “Did you do something to her?”

Cat interrupted before Severus could answer “No Remus, he hasn’t done anything. I found out a few things last night. Long before Severus and I had a little talk, this has nothing to do with him.” Cat pulled Remus towards her and whispered quietly in his ear “I know about Sirius, someone should have told me. I can’t believe the two of you where so cruel as to keep this from me. What did you think would happen when I found out?” she closed her eyes to hold back her tears as she continued “I don’t know that I can trust either of you right now. Not after you kept something so important from me. . . .I just wish one of you would have had the courage to tell me instead of letting me stumble upon the truth the way I did.”

Remus could feel himself go pale, she had found out about Azkaban, and apparently not in a good way. “Kitty, please, let me try to explain what really happened, it’s not at all what you’ve been led to believe.” his stomach cringed when he saw the look of resolve on her face.

Cat held up her hand to silence Remus “Too little too late my friend. And I’m not in the mood to listen to explanations or excuses today. I have made plans with the students and with Severus. I intend to have a wonderful time today. . . . .even if it kills me” she added flatly. She certainly didn’t feel like dancing tonight, she felt like crying, but she was tired of the tears and the pain. She had to just get on with life, it was the only way she was going to survive it.

Harry smiled brightly when he heard Cat call his name from the common room. He dashed down just in time to see Fred and George try to surprise her with a filibuster. Before Harry could say a word Cat twirled her finger in the air as the firecracker began to spin wildly, she blinked her eyes tightly and smiled. She didn’t even need to turn around, she knew the filibuster was now chasing the twins around the common room, ricocheting off the walls as it whizzed past the boys heads. Much to the amusement and general cheers of the other Gryffindor students.

“Nice trick” Harry grinned “planning on teaching me *that* one, for self defense of course” he laughed as the firecracker finally pinned the twins against the wall and exploded loudly in a cloud of dark smoke. Harry was expecting the boys to be covered in ash, but it seemed Cat had done even more to the filibuster than anyone had thought. When the smoke cleared the entire common room stood silent, for all of about three seconds, then erupted into loud laughter. Fred and George were covered head to toe in garland and mistletoe, complete with wreathes of Holly on their noe red and green hair.

Cat turned to look at the twins “Give up yet?” she smirked as the boys eyed each other and grimaced “I have tricks that will, quite literally, send your heads spinning. So. . .any takers?” she hinted dangerously as the students *ooohhhed* loudly.

Fred turned to George “Not me, I know when its time to re-group. You?”

“Not on your life, I’m hoping mum finally changes the color of the sweaters this year, prefer to live long enough to find out” George replied as Ron stood behind them rolling his eyes.

“Haven’t either of you been listening to Lupin? “ Ron sighed “He warned you about her, and her tricks. . .”

“And he would know better than most” Cat laughed happily “He and I caused quite a bit of trouble in our day. . .still do, come to think about it” she added almost absentmindedly as she turned back to Harry “have a minute? I’d like to talk with you.”

Harry closed the door to the dorm room and sat expectantly on his bed, he had been waiting for her all morning, he couldn’t wait to hear about their holidays together. “I can’t believe I’m finally going to meet my family” Harry sighed “tell me again, how many of my uncles will be there?”

Cat laughed as she tussled Harry’s hair, “Let’s see, Luke and Duncan for certain, along with Luke’s wife and their children. Duncan will probably bring his girlfriend Mandy, they’ve been together forever it seems. Besides that I’m honestly not sure, Matt and Shane will probably stay in Ireland with that branch of the Clan. Joe-Joe and Marcus are in America doing the whole political thing, Pietre is having some personal issues, I don’t think he’ll be anywhere to be honest” Cat sighed “Jimbo is in Brazil, hmmm wait.. I’m missing someone” she said as she counted the names on her fingers.

Harry rolled his eye and laughed at her “You have to count them out to remember them all? That’s horrible” he teased

Cat stuck out her tongue “Hey. . .you try keeping everyone straight. Its no where near as easy as you think.” she laughed as she realized how absurd it must look. “Francis!!!” she suddenly yelled “I forgot about Frank, oiy, he’d never let me live that one down” she grimaced “don’t you dare tell him either. . .” she added as she shook her finger at Harry.

“I promise mum, I won’t say a word” Harry agreed as he laughed with her “So what did you want to tell me? Are we leaving soon? How many cousins will be there? Are any of them my age? Can any of them play Quidditch?”

“SSSHHhhhhhh” Cat said as she placed her fingers over Harry’s lips “Calm down sweetie. You have oodles of cousins, many of them are your age. I’m sure some of them play Quidditch, if not, feel free to teach them.” she replied as she smiled at him, trying vainly to smooth down his hair. Then taking a deep breath, she broke the rest of the news to Harry “What I came up here to discuss with you is when we’re leaving. There’s been a little change in plans, we won’t be leaving directly after the ball. I have something I need to do first” she explained nervously “Actually, its something I’ve been putting off. I need to make several decisions regarding my future Harry, and yours. I thought I had a good idea of what I wanted, but fate kind of threw me a curve.” Cat said as she winced at the thought of Sirius and Esmeralda. “so now I have to do some serious re-thinking of where I stand. I don’t want to end up like my sister, I at least want to be able to tolerate the man I marry.”

Harry’s eyes grew wide with concern “Marry!!! When did you decide to get married?” he said as the panic edged into his voice. If she were going to marry Sirius, Harry was sure they both would have told him.

“I haven’t decided Harry, that’s the problem” Cat sighed wearily “I know when we go home this week, my family will pressure me to make a decision, or else they will make one for me. I thought I had made one, but it turns out I was mistaken. So right now I’m left with two options, and one of them has bowed out.”

“Please tell me you’re NOT marrying Snape” Harry almost growled “I’d rather see you alone than with him. He’s not the person you think he is. He’s only nice when you’re around. Look at what he did to Remus and I last night, and poor Fang. . .” Harry’s anger over took his ability to speak. He simply sat there, staring at Cat, daring her to convince him Snape should even be an option.

“Please Harry, this is hard enough for me.” Cat all but whispered as she looked away from Harry’s burning eyes. “I don’t want to be like Wanda, I don’t want to be forced to marry someone I don’t know. To become so full of hate and anger that I destroy everyone around me. . .my sister used to be a good woman Harry, she really did, but now.” Cat simply shook her head “I promised you once that I would never make a decision like this without discussing it with you. And I re-pledge that promise to you now. I will NOT do anything regarding marriage without your input Harry. You are my son, and you come first and foremost in my life.” Cat stood up to leave. She walked across the room, pausing at the door she turned “Harry, I know you had your heart set on Sirius, to be honest, I think I did too. But after I left you last night, I realized Sirius wasn’t free to return my love. I have to assume you didn’t know either, or else you never would have suggested him.” Cat wiped away a tear as she continued “I know this is hard for you Harry, and I know you don’t particularly like Severus. All I am asking is that you give him a fair chance. Please, for my sake.”

Harry nodded silently, he wanted to yell and scream, he wanted to find Sirius and asked him what had happened, what had he told her. Harry looked back over to Cat, he could tell how much pain she was in, he could see she was worried more about how he was reacting that she was about her own feelings. “Do you love him mum?” Harry finally asked, his eyes searching hers. “Can you, in all honestly, tell me you love him?”

Cat closed her eyes and sighed as she walked back across the room to Harry “That’s part of why I’m doing this Harry.” she explained as she sat back down on his bed. She waited for Harry to sit next to her before continuing “I am very fond of Severus, I always have been. He has always been very kind to me, he has risked a great deal to protect me, both as a student and now. I *think* I could make a happy life with him. But I need to be sure, and I need to be sure he can accept you and our clan. And I’m honestly not sure if he can do that.” she said as her shoulders slumped. She felt Harry’s hand on her arm, looking up, she saw his deep green eyes, moist with tears and concern. “Don’t worry Harry” she whispered as she kissed his forehead “everything will work out for the best, it always does.”

Harry shook his head “Do you honestly believe that? About everything being for the best?”

“Not always.” Cat replied honestly “but I do believe everything happens for a reason. It’s just a matter of figuring out what that reason is.” She reached out and pulled Harry against her as she hugged him tightly “Please try to understand why I’m doing this Harry. I don’t want you to be angry with me. You mean everything to me Harry.”

Harry sniffled as he hugged Cat back “Are we still going home for the holidays? Will we be there for Christmas?” He almost cried when he felt Cat kissing his head and trying vainly to fix his hair as her tears trickled down his scalp.

“Of course Harry, at the VERY latest we will be there by Christmas eve, and probably before that. I don’t expect it will take me very long to make a decision.” Cat said, in all honestly her mind was already made up, unless the next few days went horrible wrong, or Harry absolutely refused to accept Severus, she really didn’t have much of a choice. “Speaking of which, what do you want for Christmas?”