“Oh no you don’t” Cat began, attempting to break his hold on her, but finding his arms too strong to budge. Hearing him humming a familiar tune, Cat sighed “Sirius, don’t you dare…” but he was already smiling, his eyes full of longing and tenderness.
Sirius pulled her closer to his chest and kissed the crown of her head as he started singing, he felt her struggle for the briefest of moments before settling contentedly against his chest.
Michelle, my belle.
Sont les mots qui vont tres bien ensemble,
tres bien ensemble.
I love you, I love you, I love you.
That's all I want to say.
Until I find a way
I will say the only words I know that >BR>
you'll understand.
Closing his eyes, Sirius rested his head against Cat’s, remembering the first time they had spent the entire night together. He still felt a tingling sensation when he recalled waking up in the bright rays of the sun, feeling her next to him, her long, auburn hair cascading over his arm and chest as she slept peacefully in his embrace.
Michelle, my belle.
Sont les mots qui vont tres bien ensemble,
tres bien ensemble.
I need to, I need to, I need to
I need to make you see,
oh, what you mean to me.
Until I don I'm hoping you will
know what I mean.
I love you.
Cat nuzzled against Sirius, remembering the wonders that he had taught her that night. True, he had encouraged her to drink more than she ever should have, but she knew he would never allow her to come to harm. He had been her friend and protector even longer than he had been her boyfriend, and she knew she could trust him with her life, and most probably, her soul. How perfect things had been then, before the harsh realities of life and the petty meanness of others pulled them apart from one another. She found herself wondering what might have been if Morano and Trelawny, hadn’t hated her so much, doing everything in their power to have her expelled? What if Esmeralda Filch hadn’t lied about being married to Sirius? What if she herself had had the courage to face Sirius then and demand he answer for his betrayal?
Sniffling quietly, Cat hugged Sirius tightly, if she didn’t know better, she would have thought their entire lives had been orchestrated to turn out like this, so close and yet so far. And now, now that he was back, she still couldn’t have him, not really. Her marriage was to be a political one, a union of strength, a bonding of bloodlines. Maharet had made it perfectly clear to her that while a love match would be nice, it was of little consequence in the larger scheme of things, and that in time “she would ‘learn’ to love the man chosen for her” just as others had.
She closed her eyes as she felt them apparating back to Fernglennis, part of her didn’t want to go back, she wanted to remain in limbo with him. But she knew better than to even pretend there was any chance of escaping her destiny, after all, hadn’t Maharet explained to her that she had been bred for a purpose, her clan was depending on her, she couldn’t run away, not again….not this time.
I want you, I want you, I want you.
I think you know by now
I'll get to you somehow.
Until I do I'm telling you so
you'll understand
As Sirius finished singing the last lines, he heard a piano playing accompaniment and what sounded like a collective sigh of many, many people. Opening his eyes slowly, he blushed crimson as he realized that he and Cat had materialized in the middle of the room, still wrapped in each other’s arms as they slowly danced together.
“Uhm, Cat” Sirius said, clearing his throat to get her full attention “I think we’re home.”
“Home? As in at Fernglennis, or as in ‘we have an audience’?” she asked, not willing to open her eyes just yet.
“That would be number two.” Sirius explained, cringing as Duncan raised an eyebrow at the two of them……
Hamish smiled happily as he watched Sirius and Angel together, still wearing their costumes from the earlier ceremony. However, seeing the deep blush on Sirius’s face, and the warning look in Duncan’s eyes, he decided to take matters into his own hands before anyone did anything too stupid. Nudging Zach, Hamish whispered quickly, “Beatles- Hey Jude, Let it be, Here comes the sun, Yesterday, NOW”. Then in a clear, booming voice, he called out to his clan. “Couples only” then, pausing for effect, he added just as loudly. “And I better see Mandy and Duncan out there dancing, you two are taking ‘way’ to long to make each other honest.”
Harry laughed along with everyone else as Duncan and Mandy looked down at the floor, blushing brightly as the clan good naturedly teased both of them. Seeing Remus a few feet away talking to Lia, Harry made his way over “So, you and Tris aren’t dancing? Hamish did say couples, didn’t he?” Harry teased.
Remus grinned widely, ruffling Harry’s hair as Lia laughed at them. “Talk like that will only get you into trouble, Mr. Potter” he chuckled, “besides, Tris is off with Orpha, their talking about Kitty I think.”
“Arguing is more like it I’m afraid.” Lia sighed, “rumour has it Orpha has publicly challenged Maharet regarding the future of the clan, and our little Kitty in particular.”
Remus and Harry looked at each other with concern filled eyes. “Why would they be arguing about her?” Remus asked, placing a fatherly hand on Harry’s shoulder. “Has she done something she shouldn’t have?”
“If only that was it” Lia sighed, looked down at Harry she smiled kindly at him. “Why don’t you go dance with the girls honey. I think Callista’s been waiting for a dance since you and Sara got back.”
Harry didn’t want to go, but he felt Remus gently push him towards the corner where most of the girls were gathered. It was obvious whatever Lia had to say, she didn’t want to say it in front of him, which only made him even more nervous and concerned than before. But he trusted Remus to find out everything he could and when the time was right, tell him everything, after all, Remus was just as anxious for Sirius and Cat to get back together as he himself was…
Waiting until Harry was out of earshot, Remus looked questioningly at Lia, “What about Kitty? And why do I have the feeling I am not going to like this?”
Lia sighed deeply, brushing her silvery hair off of her face. “Because you love her as much as we do, and we don’t like it either.” she replied softly, her eyes growing soft as she fixed them on Cat and Sirius. “Its so obvious they love each other. I don’t understand why Maharet is dead set against them being together, the only reason he’s still here is Orpha has directly, publicly, challenged Maharet’s authority, not only amongst the crones, but in the clan itself.”
Remus felt his heart tightening and spinning in his chest, “Why wouldn’t she allow them to be together? I thought she was fond of him, wasn’t she the on who once showed Sirius the family tree, the books, everything?”
Lia nodded, “That’s what we all thought, but apparently she’s changed her mind, but she refuses to give anyone any reasons, including the other crones. It seems Orpha’s had enough of it, she brought Kitty’s godfather with her and they both made it very clear to everyone there that they would not allow Kitty’s life to be manipulated the way her mother’s was. We’re all scared to death of losing her like we did Diedre.” She rested her head on Remus’s shoulder as he put a comforting arm around her.
“Don’t fret Lia, I know Kitty, she’s strong and determined. I have a feeling she gets that from Orpha” he joked, “and she has us on her side. I know how much she and Sirius love each other, I’ve seen it in their eyes, heard it in their voices…. I won’t let either of them be hurt again.” Remus lowered his head, whispering in Lia’s ear “From everything I have seen, both of them have suffered horribly over the years, and I will kill and die before I permit either of them to go through that sort of torment again.”…..
Harry smiled as Callista came running up to him, her creamy yellow dress billowing around her as she came to a sudden stop in front of him. “So, how was it? Where there really humans there? Did they try to hurt you? Did you actually take part in the ceremony?” she asked excitedly.
“Whoa, Callista, calm down” Harry gasped, taken aback at Callista’s exuberance. “Yes, there were humans there watching us, no they didn’t try to hurt us, and yes, I danced with Sara in some field.”
“Oh, you got to dance with Sara and I didn’t?” Callista pouted.
Not being able to resist, Harry replied “I’m sure if Sara knew you wanted to dance with her, she would be more than happy to …..” Harry stopped short when he saw the menacing look in Callista’s eyes. “I was just teasing” he said meekly, “you did say…”
“I know what I ‘said‘, and you know what I ‘meant’, but if that’s the way you want to be…” Callista stated, getting ready to walk away before she started to cry.
Harry sighed, he had only meant to tease her, but he easily saw the hurt in her eyes and the way her lower lip was trembling. “uhm… Callista… ‘do’ you want to dance with me?” he asked softly, not sure if she still did or not…….
Remus’s eyes were fixed with a steely glint, he didn’t know what Maharet had against Sirius, but he certainly was not going to sit still and allow her to ruin the lives of the people he loved. Within moments, he had made the circuit of the room, whispering here and there, gathering support for the couple and Orpha if it should come to it. He grinned as he saw Lia and her kindred Coco doing the same.
Sirius smiled as he nodded towards Harry and Callista, “Looks like our boy is at it again” he informed Cat as he continued their dance, “and it seems Callista has the exact same idea as Ginny!” he added, his eyes growing wide as he watched little Calli steal a kiss and immediately run away from Harry.
Cat paused mid-step, “If you mean kissing him, please tell me she had enough sense to stay and keep dancing”
“Ah, …no” Sirius replied, trying not to laugh as Cat rolled her eyes and mumbled something about Harry developing a complex. “Don’t worry gra, I’ll make sure he understands how women are.”
Raising a questioning eyebrow, Cat asked, “And exactly how are we? And you better think long and hard before answering me, Mr. Black.”
“Ouch, again with the mister,” Sirius teased, “so, who is going to have ‘the talk’ with him, you or me?”
“YOU” Cat insisted emphatically, “that one is so completely out of my realm of reference, it is not even funny. I was actually planning on asking either Duncan or Cash to talk to him about it.” …..
Harry meandered his way back to Remus, shaking his head with confusion the whole way over. He hoped that either Remus or Sirius might be able to explain what was going on with the girls lately. After all, it wasn’t so much that he minded the kisses, they actually made him feel rather …‘warm and all gooey’, would probably be the best way of describing it, but he couldn’t understand why they all immediately ran away from him. Was he ’that’ bad a kisser? Is this what he could expect for the rest of his life?
“What’s wrong Harry?” Remus asked gently, worried that perhaps Harry had over heard some of he and Lia’s conversation. Seeing the look in Harry’s eyes, Remus pulled him over to a quiet corner “Do you want to talk about anything, Harry, anything at all?”
“Actually, I do. But I feel silly asking this.” Harry replied, becoming suddenly self conscious
“Now, Harry Potter, ‘when’ have I ever made you feel ‘silly’ for asking me any question?” Remus chided gently. “Come on Harry, out with it. What’s troubling you?”
Harry hung his head, “A lot actually, but mostly girls.” he admitted softly. “I just don’t understand why they keep kissing me and then running away. I mean… I was wondering…… Remus, am I doing something wrong?”
Remus froze, this was NOT what he had been expecting, and he had no idea were to even begin, or worse, where to stop, explaining that subject. “No Harry, I can honestly say I don’t thing you’re doing anything wrong. I think the girls are just a little ….uhm…well…..” Remus could feel his face getting red as he tried to think of a way to explain this to Harry. “nervous, Harry, they are nervous…that’s it.”
“But Remus, that doesn’t make any sense,” Harry countered, “they’re the ones coming up to me, I should be the one whose nervous.” he paused and sighed deeply, “Its because I didn’t know what to do when Clara kissed me, isn’t it?”
“No Harry, I am certain that has nothing to do with any of this at all. However, I think this is a discussion you should be having with your parents…uhm.. I mean Kitty and Sirius.” he corrected himself.
Harry smiled widely, “It’s alright Remus, I like it when people think we’re already a family. Do you think there is any chance of that every really happening?”
Remus beamed happily as he pointed Harry in Sirius’s direction, “Take a look for yourself and tell me.”
Harry watched as Sirius and Cat waltzed around the room, it was amazing how much different Sirius looked now. Clean shaven, well dressed, a bright smile on his face as he and Cat talked and laughed with each other. He was even filling out a bit now, he no longer had the sunken eyes or the look of impending starvation looming over him, in fact, Harry could never remember a time he had seen his godfather look so tall or strong. It was as if just being here with them, with Cat, was healing him, making him more alive, as if Azkaban had never happened. “They really do love each other, don’t they, Remus?”
“Yes Harry, they do, very much so.” Remus sighed, smiling as he watched his two friends twirl around the room.
“Does that mean Professor Snape is out of the picture then? She won’t date him anymore now that she knows about Sirius, right?” he asked hopefully.
Remus smirked. “I would think so Harry, but I’ve never been one to understand the workings of a woman’s mind. But I do know that Kitty will do everything in her power to NOT hurt Severus. She is fond of him, and he has been a good friend to her over the years, it seems.” The two of them sat in comfortable silence for several minutes until Harry asked Remus one more question.
“Uhm, I was wondering,” he waited as Remus raised and eyebrow expectantly. “About the music, I know all these songs that Hamish and Zach are singing. They are old Beatles tunes, how do Sidhe and wizards know the Beatles?”
“Are you daft Harry? Everyone knows the Beatles, besides, two of them were wizards, and one of those two, part Sidhe.”
“They were!!” Harry gasped, his eyes wide with surprise. “Which ones?”
Remus smirked, “Shame on you Harry, you have one that doesn’t seem to age at the same rate as the rest of the muggles, and another one named Ringo Starr. Now, which ones do ‘you’ think are wizards?”…….
Hours later, Sirius and Cat quietly walked to Harry’s bed, making sure he was safe and sound. Sirius smiled as he felt Cat’s head resting against him and heard her soft voice “He looks like such an angel when he’s sleeping, it’s no wonder the girls are being so forward with him.” she sighed, “Although I think he should move to his own room after the New Years celebration tomorrow night, after all, this is his home now, he needs a space to call his own.”
“What about the house in Hogwarts, Cat? I was hoping you and Harry would be living there, ….I mean, if I’m not allowed to stay here with you, I would at least like to be able to visit.” Sirius explained gently.
“Why wouldn’t you be allowed to stay here? My clan adores you and you know it, don’t be so silly.” she insisted as she picked up the covers from around Harry’s feet and covered him up, kissing his forehead as she tucked him in.
Sirius felt his heart fill with warmth and love as he watched the tenderness and love Cat showered on Harry. She would make such a good mother for their children, children he dearly hoped would be here by this time next year. Pulling her back to his side, Sirius squeezed her tightly, burying his face in her hair as she sighed contentedly. “Are you very tired gra? Or can we talk for a while?”
“Talking would be nice” Cat agreed, “I still have so many questions. And I need to know what to expect when we go back to school, ‘if’ we go back to school. And I’d like to know why you think you wouldn’t be allowed to stay here if you wanted to?” she added softly as they left the children’s room.
Closing the door silently behind him, Sirius turned to Cat and sighed deeply. “First of all, I’m not planning on staying if you’re not. And I can’t bear to stay here and watch you if they insist you marry someone else, it would kill me gra, it truly would. And before you argue the point with me, I know its not your choice, not really.” he insisted, hugging her tightly as they made their way to one of the many sitting rooms. “Actually, I’m hoping that is the only reason you haven’t said yes to me yet, because I have sincerely meant it every time I’ve asked you over the past week.” he smiled softly as he felt Cat pause mid step.
“You have?” Cat whispered, staring up into his eyes as her world began to spin around her. She felt Sirius guiding her to a sofa and gently sitting her down.
Cupping her face in his hand, Sirius kissed her tenderly “With all my heart. Cat, I need you, I want you. I want to be your husband.” he stated simply as he kissed her once more. “I know how much I hurt you in the past, and I wish I could give you a decent explanation, but I still have no idea why I did it.”
“Sirius, how can you say that?” Cat chastised him softly “You must have had a reason, you broke up with me and then….”
“No! We never actually ‘broke up’, I just said we needed some space. I never even took back the ring, remember?” he asked, wrapping his arms around her as he saw the pain filled tears in her eyes. “Cat, gra….don’t do this, don’t shut me out, not now.” he pleaded as he felt her turn cold in his arms. Refusing to let go, Sirius held onto her tightly, pulling her against his chest as he buried his face in her soft hair. “Please gra, you’ve ‘told’ me you’ve forgiven me, I’ve heard you say the words, but you still close yourself off when its mentioned.”
“It still hurts” she replied weakly, “I don’t think you’ll even understand how much of my heart was destroyed that day.”
Sirius cringed as he heard her words, “I know gra, believe me, I felt it too, the moment I looked into your eyes and saw what I did to you.” he wrapped his fingers in her hair, gently pulling her head off of his shoulder so he could see her face. “Don’t cry Catrianna, we’ve both shed enough tears to fill an ocean. I’m here now, and I’ll never leave your side, not ever again.” he insisted, kissing her softly through her tears.
He wanted to take her in his arms and show her how much he loved her, he wanted to be one with her, to share himself with her as they had done before his world fell apart. Sirius sighed deeply as he felt her warm, silent tears against his neck, this wasn’t going nearly as well as he had hoped. Spying a guitar not far from where they were sitting, Sirius decided to try something straight out of their past, after all, she herself had admitted, just this evening, that she could never resist being sung to.
Sitting at her feet, he gently strummed the guitar a few times before singing the song that Angus had helped him write for her.
You are what I long for, the reason I came here and the reason I want to stay;
You are my secret garden, the air I breath, the sunlight in my day.
I have known hunger, times I have run dry, but you can fill me up inside.
I can sit and watch you, time is nothing now, I am more than satisfied.
You make me believe again and I will fear no more
Everything conceive again, you make me believe.
I have lived, I have loved, I lost all I was,
I have seen what its like at the end.
I have died many times, now I’m back from the dead
And I live and I feel once again.
You make me believe again and I will fear no more
Everything conceive again, you make me believe.
Cat’s tears had begun streaming down her cheeks by the time he was half way through his song. Cupping his face in both of her hands, she bent down and kissed him, as they both silently wept over everything they had lost during their years apart.
“I swear to you Cat, I’ll make it all up to you, everything that’s happened to us, I’ll set it all right.” he insisted as he rose to his knees. “I’m going to prove to you and to the crones that I am worthy to be both your husband and a father. I promise you gra, I will never, ever…” Sirius’s words were muffled as Cat once again pressed her lips against his. Sharing a long, passionate kiss, neither of them noticed the several pairs of softly glowing eyes that lurked in the shadows, nodding knowingly as the couple continued to talk and kiss, oblivious to anything but each other……