“You’re a good man Severus Snape, and I know you love me, I can see it in your eyes every time you look at me, the problem is, I can see the same thing in Sirius’s eyes too. What am I supposed to do, I can’t have you both, much as I wish I could.”

“Says who?” a voice piped up from the shadows of Cat’s room.

“Rolali?” Cat asked as she sat up, looking towards the hearth for the fire fae. “How much have you heard Rolali? Come on, show yourself.” she insisted, becoming frustrated with herself for actually saying anything out loud. The last thing she needed was her family finding Severus and dragging him to Fernglennis, she could only imagine how well he would take an ‘abduction’ by her clan.

The fire roared momentarily as a diminutive figure rode out of the flames astride a fiery winged mare, whose hooves sent out sparks as they struck the stone hearth of the fireplace. “Greetings mistress,” Rolali said as she dismounted from the mare, unfurling her own wings as she did so. “Did my ears deceive me? Are you trying to chose a husband?” she asked as she ran her hands over the mare’s wings, smoothing them against her back as she removed a large satchel from the horn of the saddle.

“Not a word about this to anyone Rolali” Cat warned “I’m already in far over my head. The last thing I need is my family calling for a contest or a duel or something.”

“Oh but duels are so much fun” Rolali countered “and I love to watch men when they feel their lives are in danger. The way they move, the way the sweat gathers on their brows and their eyes dart around them….”

“Oh brother” Cat sighed as she placed her head in her hands. “Rolali, I think you’re being a bit overly romantic about the situation.” Cat teased as she watched Rolali’s amber eyes flash with excitement at the mere thought. “Come on” she added patting the bed “sit and talk.”

Rolali smiled brightly, her dainty, elongated ears quivering slightly as she approached Cat’s bed. She had always found the Sidhe amazing, the way they seamlessly blended living with both the magical and the mundane. They could sleep inside a tree, within the Earth, even under the water if they chose, but they chose to sleep like humans, in constructed beds piled high with soft, warm blankets and deep feathered pillows. It was the same with everything for them, they lived in homes that were invisible to humans, yet opened their doors to nearly every stranger who asked for shelter or help, insisting the rules of hospitality must be met and the weak should be protected.

“So, mistress Cat, why is your heart aching?” she asked as she gently fluttered onto the bed. Setting the satchel down next to her, she patted it lightly and grinned, “And our king has sent a token for your little prince. He cannot wait until you and your son come to visit us.” she added. “King Organon is convinced that your presence will prevent Lord Oberon from usurping the throne. And if you bring your son, and perhaps husband?” she hinted.

“Don’t even go there Rolali” Cat warned. “At this moment I have no husband, in fact, I don’t even have any offers” she added rolling her eyes as the fae tossed her head back and laughed softly as her shiny chestnut hair cascaded down her back. “You find something funny about this my friend?”

“Terribly funny” Rolali laughed “How many men have tried to win you? How many have faced insurmountable danger in your name, or attempted ridiculous and impossible feats simply to gain your attention? And you act as if you are an old maid in the garret.”

Cat smirked and shook her head “You’re exaggerating again. And dealing with my brothers isn’t exactly facing insurmountable danger.” she teased, “although in Frank’s case, it’s pretty dang close.” Cat added, only to grow silent and distracted as she watched the fire dance and crackle.

“Talk to me mistress, tell me why your heart is so heavy” Rolali insisted “It is obvious you care about these men deeply. But why is it so hard for you to chose one over the other?”

“I think its because they’re both so much alike.” Cat sighed as she brought her knees up to her chest and rested her head against them. “Although I have the distinct impression they would both argue that point with me. They seem to think they are complete opposites, but they are wrong. I’ve known them both in ways no one else has. They both have a deep seeded need to prove themselves, to be the best at what they do. They both live by their own code of honour, both protective to a fault of those they love.” she chuckled slightly as she remembered the way Sirius had manipulated things so Harry would be able to get out of detention, just as Sev had done for his students, his ‘family’ as it were. “They both ‘need’ someone to protect, they need a cause to drive their lives, they want something more than themselves to live for.”

“Are they friends, these two men you find so appealing? Is that why you are hesitant to chose one over the other?”

“Friends?” Cat chortled, “they couldn’t be further from being friends if they tried. They hate each other, they always fight over everything. Each always measuring himself against the other, each trying to outdo…..” Cat shook her head and sighed, “No Rolali, they aren’t friends although I wish they were”

“Perhaps you can encourage them to become closer?” Rolali suggested “Force them to work together on a common cause.”

“Uncle Alby has already tried that, it doesn’t seem to be helping much I’m afraid” Cat explained. “I just don’t understand how they can still be like this. In school I put it down to being teenagers, you know, growing pains and immaturity and such, but now….I wish they could see each other the way I see them.”

“And how exactly do ‘you’ see them?” Rolali asked knowingly.

“Hmmm, heroically I supposed. The injured and wounded warriors who refuse to be beaten, either by the enemy or by life.” Cat replied. “I want to see them both happy and content, I want them both to be loved, deeply and completely. They have sacrificed so much, they both think of others before themselves,” Cat shook her head sadly “Rolali, I’ve seen them both risk their lives to save the people they care about. Sev risks his life daily, he’s spying against Voldemort so we can better protect the students, the world, from his evil. I’ve seen his bruises and scars, I’ve seen the look in his eyes when I’ve tried to get him to talk about it….”

Rolali stroked Cat’s hair “He sounds very brave, but neither of our clans would consider spying a noble calling.” she said gently as she tried to soothe the Sidhe’s heart.

“Not noble, but necessary, and to a point justified… he lost his wife and daughter. He won’t tell me how, but I have the distinct feeling Voldemort and his death eaters were somehow involved. Or maybe his father, not that there’s any difference between the two.”

“His own father? He would harm his own blood?” Rolali gasped, the though being completely beyond her comprehension.

“I know he nearly killed Sev on more than one occasion. I was there to witness the after effects.” Cat wiped at her tears as she remembered that day. “I should have gotten to him sooner, maybe I could have stopped it. I was talking to his mother, she wanted to hear all about my home and family, she was smiling so sweetly and she had the most beautiful eyes, almost indigo. We were having tea and chatting when I suddenly felt so ill, a terrible tightening of my insides, I knew someone I cared for was in danger, but I never thought it was Sev. I excused myself and ran to find him, thinking we could return to the school together. That’s when I saw him hit the wall and slump to the floor, his father’s hand was covered with Sev’s blood. And the beast just looked at me as if he had done nothing wrong….”

Rolali sighed as she pulled Cat towards her, allowing her head to rest against her shoulder, “Try to calm down child, it is in the past and cannot be changed, we can only move forward from such a place.” she reminded her.

“I know Rolali, I’ve been telling myself the same thing for years. That all I can do is be there for him, help him when he’ll let me.” Cat agreed, “But lately the two of them have been frightening me. I’ve seen the anger within each of them, and even in my dear Remus. It’s from all the uncertainty of their lives, I think they’ve all lived very stark lives, Sev had a family, but lost it; Remus is too afraid to have a family; and Sirius…. I don’t know what to say about Sirius, he told me he was imprisoned, but he would have had to spent years there to be like this. He used to be so handsome, so strong, so perfect.”

Perfection is an illusion Mistress” Rolali countered, “one that shatters easily, may I add. What does your clan think of these two? Or have they made ‘other’ plans for you?” she asked softly, not wanting to upset Cat anymore than she already was.

“They haven’t said anything yet, but I know its coming.” Cat sighed “Although Aunt Orpha seems quite taken with Sirius, and she holds a great deal of power amongst the crones. I’m certain she’ll be talking to me shortly.”

“So you think she will choose Sirius to be your husband? What will you do about the other then?”

“I don’t know what I’ll do with either of them Rolali.” Cat sighed. “I know he’s a good man, I can see his heart. He’s wounded and frightened to risk his heart again. I don’t want to be the one to destroy him, he deserves better, and I’m not sure that Sirius is fit to be my husband either, at the very least, I know he’s not being completely honest with me. And I doubt Sev could ever accept my clan or our ways, he’s too boxed in by the teachings of the Ministry. And being the chieftains daughter, I ‘must’ put the well-being of the clan above all else. After all, one day my husband may well be called upon to help lead the clan, just as I will.” ……..