Harry had often wondered how Sirius survived all those years, after all Sirius had been a man who was used to being around people, Remus had told him many times about Sirius’s popularity, especially with girls. And it was obvious from the past few hours how much Sirius both loved and needed to know that someone cared about him. In fact Harry was hard pressed to remember a time he had ever seen Sirius happier than since they came to Fernglennis with Cat and her clan.

As Harry was busy watching Sirius, he noticed the door on the other side of the room open as a petite redheaded woman walked through. Harry recognized his mother immediately, he wanted to signal to her, but the look on her face prevented him from making a move. Her eyes were transfixed on Sirius, watching every movement his godfather was making. Harry was sure he saw tears in Cat’s eyes as Sirius continued to sing, he wondered if Sirius had finally told her about Azkaban, if she understood why he was so sad all the time…..

remember the first time I moved in you, the holy dark was moving too, and every breathe we took was hallelujah

Cat closed her eyes as she let Sirius’s voice wash over her, she remembered this song so well, he used to sing this song to her all the time. He sung it with such a passion, such depth, he had known that it always reminded her of the first time they made love.

She sighed as she wiped her tears away and remembered the first time she and Sirius had been together. Neither of them had intended it to go so far, but neither of them wanted to stop either.

She remembered clearly how tender and passionate he had been, he had asked her several times if she was sure, promising her he would stop immediately if she wasn’t absolutely sure she wanted to do this. It was so like him to worry about her, he had always been a gentleman towards her, he had even insisted on carrying her back to the school afterwards, simply because she had faltered momentarily when she had tried to stand up.

Cat had to walk out of the room, her emotions were overcoming her, she had been so sure they would be together forever. Her heart ached just thinking about they many nights they had spent in each others arms, he had been the man of her dreams, and if the past several hours were any indication at all, he would be a wonderful father as well.

Once Cat was safely down the hall and away from the music room, she allowed her tears to flow freely. “Why couldn’t you have told me you weren’t married sooner? Why did Remus have to be the one to tell me gra, if you love me as much as you seem to, why didn’t you tell me right away?” she sobbed as she shuffled down the hall, wiping at her eyes with the sleeve of her blouse. “I can’t just abandon Severus, I care for him too much to ever hurt him like that, but I can’t lead him on either.” she sighed.

“Now child” a gentle voice spoke from behind her “surely you can find a gentle way to tell this other man your feelings for him have changed.” Merlin said as he appeared out of the shadows, opening his arms to Cat as he smiled warmly at her. He hushed her tears as she allowed him to hold her “Hush child, you know how I hate to see you cry.” he said soothingly as he rocked her softly. “And I see nothing to be gained by postponing things, I would say its obvious that you care for Sirius Black a great deal.”

“I do, but I care for Severus as well, and it wouldn‘t be fair to him if I just abandoned him, he didn‘t do anything wrong. He‘s never been anything but kind and loving to me.” Cat sobbed as she clung to Merlin, knowing she was safe in his arms. He had been there for her since the day she was born, he was her godfather and her protector. “Uncle, I don’t know what to do, I think Sirius still loves me, but I know he isn’t being honest with me either, I can’t ignore that, and I can‘t forget he betrayed me once before.”

“And you shouldn’t my dear, you must insist he tells you everything, honesty is very important,. As for his betrayal, hmmm, well I don’t know what to say, but that must be discussed as well, at the very least he owes you an explanation. Besides he will never be able to heal until he tells you everything.” he added, watching with approval as Cat’s eyes looked up at his. “Yes child, he needs your help again, just as he did when his father passed away. Only this time you and his godchild are the only ones he has left. Do you know his entire family has been wiped out over the last two decades? No? I had the feeling no one bothered to tell you of that bit of information.”

“But why? Why would anyone kill off the Blacks? And how did Sirius survive?” Cat suddenly gasped “Is that why he looks the way he does? It that why he’s in hiding?”

“Partly” Merlin nodded “but its much more involved than that.” he explained as he pushed Cat away from him so he could get a good look at his god daughter. “As lovely as ever, no wonder he’s never forgotten you.” he winked as he handed her a handkerchief. Offering her his arm, Merlin escorted her down the hall “Now, about this other fellow you say you care for, Severus did you say?”

“Yes Uncle, Professor Severus Snape” Cat replied as she dabbed at her eyes. “He’s a very dear man, intelligent, clever, charming, and he tries so hard to do the right thing. Although I’m afraid its not always easy for him, he’s had a very hard life. He’s lost everyone who has ever meant anything to him, his mother, his wife, his daughter.” She sighed deeply “He deserves better, he certainly deserves someone who can love him more than I do. Someone who wouldn’t be haunted by what ifs and maybe’s. I can’t bear the thought of hurting him, I don’t think he could endure it if I turned away from him.”

Merlin smiled warmly at her “You always did have a kind heart child, but let me ask you this. Is it kindness to allow this Professor to think you love him?”

“I do love him Uncle….” Catri said quietly.

Merlin sighed deeply “You’ve been spending too much time with Orpha, its not like you to take things so literally. And we both know there is a very large difference between loving someone and being in love with them. So tell me, are you ‘in’ love with this professor, or with Sirius?”

Cat shook her head. “I don’t know that I’m ‘in’ love with either. I adore both of them, I hold a special fondness for each of them, and they both have their good and bad points.”

“Such as?” Merlin encouraged her, hoping she would listen carefully to her own words…….

Sirius smiled warmly as more and more of Cat’s clan came over and introduced themselves to him, even though he knew it was only to see for themselves who the stranger she had brought home with her was. But Harry’s constant support and the kind smiles from Cat’s aunts and brothers was doing wonders for his mood and his confidence. He remembered all to well how important clan was to Cat, it was at the centre of nearly everything she did, and if they accepted him, or better yet, approved of him,….well, it would certainly make things much easier.

“Harry” Sirius asked, “have you seen your mum lately? I though she would have made her way over here with the others.” he explained, motioning to Remus, Tris, Merigwen and Siobhan.

Harry paused for a few moments before replying, he didn’t want to upset Sirius, but it was obvious that Cat was upset about something, why else would she start crying and leave the room like that. “She was here earlier, but she left. I guess she needed to do something.” Harry said, hoping Sirius wouldn’t ask him anything else.

“She left?” Sirius repeated, “it’s not like her to leave a party, especially her own.” he said absently as he wondered where she had gone. “Harry, why don’t you go talk to your cousins, you know, get to know them a little” he suggested, giving Harry a gentle nudge towards Callista and the other children…..