Feeling very self-conscious, Harry sat next to Remus. He didn’t mean to sound like he was accusing Remus of anything, but it was obvious there was more going on here than anyone was telling him. Harry turned to look out of the windows, it was amazingly bright outside, he wondered if it would snow before the holidays, or if there would be snow at Cat’s house. Harry’s thoughts were interrupted by Remus’s soft voice.

"Well Harry, tell me what’s really bothering you, time to get it off your chest" Remus asked gently as he looked at Harry. He was so much his father’s son, it was positively scary at times.

Harry sighed as his shoulders dropped "I just want someone to tell me what’s going on. I’m tired of everyone trying to *protect* me. I’ve handled deatheaters, dementors...even Voldemort.... so why didn’t anyone tell me the truth about you and Sirius and Cat?"

Remus seemed a bit shocked "What *truth* Harry? Has Professor Snape been telling you things?" Remus silently swore to himself that if Snape had been filling Harry’s head with stories about their past he would be paying the potion master a visit on the next full moon.

"Not Snape....Malfoy" Harry grimaced "His father went to school with you... he said that it was you and Cat who used to date. She only went with Sirius because of my mother." Harry looked at Remus, hoping for confirmation that it was nothing more than another of Malfoy’s lies.

Remus looked at the clock on the wall, "how much time until your next class Harry?" This wasn’t something he wanted to rush and it was time Harry knew the whole truth.

"I have Care of Magical Creatures soon, then lunch" Harry replied, becoming very concerned that Remus had not immediately dismissed the notion of his dating Cat.

"I will write Hagrid an excuse for you absence." Remus said "I think you absolutely right Harry, you should be told the truth, the whole truth. It will be hard to understand at first, but in the long run, I am sure it will make things much easier to understand." Remus took a deep breath as he looked Harry straight in his eyes. "Are you ready Mr. Potter?"

Harry nodded silently

"First of all I want you to know the reason no one has told you about it is because of me. I did something horrible and unforgivable to Cat. I have been and always will be ashamed of what happened, no matter how often she and Sirius offer me their forgiveness. I don’t want you to blame anyone else for this but me..." Remus paused as he took a deep breath and relived his past.

"Malfoy was half right. Cat and I dated shortly after she arrived at Hogwarts. And I was very much in love with her, a feeling she seemed to return." Remus hushed Harry, "Please wait until I’m done Harry, this is going to be hard enough as it is."

Harry nodded and motioned for Remus to continue his story.

"She and I hit it off right away, I was the first Gryffindor she met, I was there when she was sorted, and I was the one who escorted her to the common room and introduced her to your parents and Sirius. We were very, very close, all of us. Your mother and father had been dating nearly two years at that point, Sirius always had someone he was dating, and Peter... well he was Peter. James, Sirius and Lily were thrilled that I had met someone, and even more thrilled as they got to know her. With her intelligence, humour and sense of adventure, she quickly joined your mother as a *Marauderette*, although I’m quite sure that is NOT what they called themselves."

"Any way, things were wonderful between Cat and I, even with the Slytherin House interference. It seems Snape had his eyes set on her even then. She seemed to understand how much I needed to belong, to *connect* with other people. Although up until that time, the Marauders had been the closest thing to a family I had. Cat has always been very physical in her affection, something I’m sure you’ve noticed. The messing your hair, holding hands, touching other people, ... and allowing other people to touch her. Her entire family is like that." Remus said as he smiled warmly at the thought "To me it was nothing short of amazing, no one outside of our little group knew about my *condition* but most people seem to have an instinctual fear of me regardless." Harry was going to argue the point, until he recalled his initial reaction to Remus when he had met him on the Hogwarts Express. "But not her, she accepted me both before, and after she found out about my curse." Remus winced as he recalled the details of how she came to know of his condition.

"Sirius had always been a true friend and a gentleman were I was concerned. I saw him watching us, I could see the look in his eyes when he would catch us kissing, but I knew he would never step over that line, no matter what. He had even gone so far as to appoint himself her *guardian* when I wasn’t there. Cat and he had nearly every class together, so the classes I couldn’t attend with her, he made sure no one, such as Severus or Lucius, bothered her. He did his best to keep to the *brother* role, I can’t imagine how hard that was for him. He loved her so much, even then. He was the one who saved her life, it if weren’t for he and James." Remus paused to wipe away the tears that had begun to fall from his eyes.

"Lily and Cat had always been very good about our monthly excursions, they considered it a good reason to have a *girls night out*, they never complained or pushed about where we were going, or why. One particularly mild night in November during my change, I got away from James and Sirius. There had been a lot of students out past curfew, enjoying the warm weather while it lasted, but I ran past all of them" Remus winced painfully "I had caught her scent, and I ran after her, I tracked her down like a piece of prey. She had no idea what was happening, I remember seeing her eyes looking up at me.... then I just attacked" His tears were running freely "I can still remember her screaming......" he broke down into sobs as Harry hugged him.

Harry had no idea Remus had ever actually attacked anyone, let alone Cat. He was so kind and gentle, it was obvious that this still tore at him "How did she get away?" he asked softly, not sure if it was the right thing to do.

"James and Sirius chased me down, Sirius jumped in front of her to protect her from me. James had to attack me to save them," Remus laughed sadly "he broke three of my ribs before Sirius could transform and help Cat." He began to look terribly haunted as he continued "We all thought I had killed her, I could smell the blood, it was all over my paws, I was licking it off." he said as he held up his hands. "She was so still, I could hear Sirius yelling something to James who was standing on top of me with his antlers pointed at my skull. I don’t remember many of the details, but I do remember seeing Sirius pick her up and turn to face James. She was covered in blood, it was dripping off of her as Sirius ran with her to the school, he was crying and screaming, asking her to hang on."

"It wasn’t until the next morning the full horror of what I had done hit me. James and Sirius were there I could tell they had been crying, I thought she was dead, or worse. I would have killed myself there and then if James hadn’t stopped me. The thought of condemning her to a cursed life like mine was worse than killing her. I looked at Sirius and I knew what he was thinking, I had ran past so many others that night, so many easy targets, but I went for her. The look in his eyes was horrible, we were friends but he couldn’t even speak to me. James finally told me how Sirius had carried her all the way back to the school and into the hospital wing. He didn’t have any way to explain what had happened so he placed her on one of the beds and transformed back into Padfoot, he knocked down a table full of glass jars to get Poppy’s attention as he ran out of the hospital and back to help James. He had already been back to the hospital wing twice that morning, Cat was in a coma, he didn’t know if they were able to give her anything to prevent a transformation if she was bit."

Remus looked at Harry as he wiped his tears with the sleeve of his robe "You have to understand Harry, I wasn’t able to stop myself, and I was terrified I would do it again if I was ever given the chance. I couldn’t even visit her in the hospital wing for the first few days,..... I was just to horrified and ashamed to even look at her. When Lily finally dragged me down, I broke into tears, she looked so pale, she had lost so much blood. James and Sirius where sitting with her, holding her hands, they had been scared to death she wasn’t going to make it. She actually smiled at me when she saw me, she had been worried about *me*. I thought the worst of it was over, but I was wrong again."

"As we had all finally sat down to talk Madame Morano and Professor Dumbledore had arrived to speak with Cat. I was sure this was the end, I was going to be expelled and probably locked up for the rest of my life, back then there was no Wolfsbane potion, only chains and prison walls. Morano laid into Cat viciously, she had always hated Cat for what she was, and believe me, she made no attempt to hide it. Morano was grilling Cat on what had happened and why she was out after curfew. I saw James and Sirius look at me, if she said anything we were all lost, Morano would have jumped at the opportunity to expel Gryffindors prize trouble makers. Albus kept stepping in, remarking on how well she looked in spite of her ordeal, her father would be so relieve to hear of her recovery.. .. anything to cut off Morano. We all held our breath as Morano point blank asked Cat who had done this to her and why. Cat looked at us and then at Albus, her face got very red and I swear her eyes started to glow as she told Morano what a horrible creature she was for behaving like that, how should she know what happened, she was unconscious for a good portion of it, she didn’t even know who had found her."

"Albus broke into a huge smile, he was attempting to escort Morano out, telling her they would speak to Cat later when she was more rested, when Minerva came rushing in. Harry, don’t ever, ever get that woman angry with you. If I had thought Cat’s eyes had been glowing, then Minerva’s were positively on fire. She came in *yelling* at Morano, ‘what did she think she was doing accosting a student like this, where was her mind, did she even have one‘, we where speechless, it was just fabulous. She literally chased her out of the room and down the hall, screaming at her the whole way. I had no idea at the time that Cat and Minerva were related of course, but Minerva’s rather righteous temper drove Morano to run for the hills . Albus chuckled at the scene then very kindly told Cat to rest and told us not to stay to long, Cat needed to recover, we saw him wink at her, but we didn’t understand why."

"When we asked her she said it was because he knew she was lying. She knew exactly what had happened, although not why. She turned to Sirius and kissed him on his cheek and then did the same thing to James, she thanked them for saving her life. Then she looked at me, I was waiting for her to cry or scream but she didn’t, she just held out her arms to me. I couldn’t believe it, not only wasn’t she afraid of me, she still cared about me. I practically jumped into her arms, I kept apologizing over and over for what I had done to her. Sirius, James and Lily were all crying as well, Cat simply hugged me and told me it was alright, she understood now. When I asked her what she meant by *now* she explained she had seen the wolf, but when she saw its eyes she knew it was me and didn’t think twice about it. It wasn’t until I had jumped her and began clawing her that she looked *in* my eyes, that’s when she realized I wasn’t there. She had actually apologized to me for not realizing sooner what was going on. She had thought I was a Garou, she never actually believed the stories about werewolves, she thought they were just old wives tales." Remus bit his lip as he tried to stop crying, it was just so hard to have to relive this again.

"Two days later when she had begun to really start feeling herself Morano showed up again, this time with Albus and Minerva at her side. She went right into why Cat had been outside, and what or who had done this to her. All the time Albus was standing behind her either smirking or rolling his eyes. It was classic. .... Every time Morano asked her what had happened Cat claimed ignorance. We watched as Morano’s face got redder and redder, she turned around to tell Minerva to ask her what had happened, knowing Cat would never lie to Minerva. Professor McG looked Morano straight in the face and said No, she’s already answered it several times, I really don’t see the point in it. Albus agreed with her, Morano insisted at the very least Cat be given detention for breaking curfew. Albus couldn’t deny that one, she was out past curfew. I thought Sirius was going to lose it right about then, when Madame Pomfrey spoke up. She asked if Cat could do her detention with her, apparently they had spent quite a bit of the past days discussing medicine and healing. Albus was more than happy to oblige, he told Poppy that Cat was a healer among her people and that the experience would be a wonderful opportunity for her, he went so far as to say in the future, all of Cat’s detentions would be served with Madame Pomfrey. Morano was fuming."

"After Morano left, Minerva and Albus just looked at us all. Minerva looked right at Cat and said care to tell me the truth now, or must we involve your father Cat looked down for a moment, then she stared right back at her and replied Tanta Minnie, you told me I should treat my house as if it were clan.... clan stick together, we don’t betray to the enemy Minerva had to walk away, but we saw her smiling, Albus on the other had didn’t bother to leave, he stood there grinning. She had lied to protect us, I had nearly killed her, and she sat in her hospital bed, lying to protect us. Sirius had this huge grin on his face, he bent over and kissed her on the top of her head Gryffindors stick together. I decided right then that I had to break up with her, I could never place her or anyone else in that danger again. I didn’t say anything to her then, I wanted her to get well first. I discussed it all with James, he had also noticed the way Sirius watched her and protected her. We thought they might be happy together, I didn’t want to leave her all alone and at least I knew Sirius would keep her safe from me."

Harry watched as Remus finished wiping the tears from his face "So... do you still love her then?" He held his breath as he waited for Remus’s answer.

"Yes Harry, I still love her very much. Enough that I want her to be happy, and I have never seen her more happy then when she and Sirius were together." Remus watched as Harry’s face brightened at his reply.

"So why does she still call you acushla, I was told it meant...." Harry dropped his voice to a low whisper "I was told it meant lover." he blushed as he said it.

Remus had to laugh at Harry’s behavior. "No Harry, not even close, achushla means *dear heart* not lover."

"Dear heart, you mean like sweetheart? Why would you let her call you that?! You just said you wanted her and Sirius to be together." Harry asked in a panic.

"Your taking the meaning wrong Harry, its more like anamchairdeas, a soul-friendship. I am dear to her heart, not the love of her heart." Remus explained. "Its only a nickname Harry, nothing more." Remus said grinning widely.

"Thats one heck of a nickname" Harry said as the smile returned to his face.

"Well trust me Harry she has...uhm... other nicknames for Sirius" Remus starts laughing, refusing to explain to Harry, but he remembers well how she began calling Sirius grá, long before they were, then later it had been bigeach Ngrá - love stallion - he could only guess how he got that name.....

"So Harry, is that why you were looking for Cat, to ask her about the past?"

"What... oh uhm ..No" Harry had almost forgotten the reason he had come down to her room "Its, .... I just realized she doesn’t use a wand. I can’t believe it took me this long to notice. Mac Lir, the deatheaters, the drakes. I have never seen her use a wand unless it was in front of the class."

"That’s because she has a very bad habit of forgetting things like that." Remus sighed "Do you have any idea how many times Albus and I have had to remind her to keep it with her....she is currently using it to keep her hair up." he finished as he rolled his eyes. "She is completely impossible when it comes to a wand."

"So you mean she doesn’t *need* one" Harry asked, his eyes wide. "How is that possible, I thought anything more complex than Accio needed a wand?"

"It’s a little hard to explain Harry. You know that Cat is not like us, she is Sidhe, that makes a difference. But so does her education, she has travelled all over the world, learning from different cultures. She came here from Arabia, and before that it had been Spain, she studied with the Moors there. She was raised in the Celtic tradition and taught by the De Dannan. I was told after leaving Hogwarts she travelled to India and then on to Japan." Remus explained "And of course her family, her clannad.... their blood is ancient and very, very powerful."

"When you say ancient, how far back do you mean." Harry asked, expecting to hear a thousand years or so.

"Harry, you’ll understand more when your with her during the holidays. When you hear them telling the stories...... I have heard them, some of them go back to before there was the moon." Remus told him calmly, waiting for the realization to sink in.

"But Remus, thats impossible, that would make them older than the Egyptian, or the Phoenicians. There is just no way possible....... is there?" Harry asked, suddenly becoming very unsure of his own beliefs.

"I wish Lily were here right about now" Remus chuckled as he smiled at Harry, "she was always so good at explaining this. She understood Cat and her clannad as if she had been borne to them." Remus paused for a moment and then added "By the way Harry don’t believe for one minute that she’s not your godmother.. Or in this case, mother....Lilly refused to name anyone else, as far as Lily was concerned, Cat was your godmother, whether she knew it or not. Lily knew if anything ever happened to her, Cat would find a way to protect you and do her best to give you a happy life."

Harry smiled at the thought of his mother and Cat being so close. He was reminded of the first day he met Cat in Professor Dumbledore’s office, he had thought she was his mother’s ghost. Harry had wanted to ask Remus more, but their conversation was interrupted by a gentle tapping at the bedroom door.........

"I hope and pray its not Severus. I really don’t relish explaining what we’re doing here." Remus whispered as he walked over to the door. Opening the door very slowly Remus smiled with relief as he saw Sirius Black. "What are you doing out there, get in here now... if any one sees you.."

"I know, I know.... mother hen over here" Sirius said to Harry as he jerked his thumb towards Remus. "Hello Harry, Remus... where’s Cat?" he asked looking around.

"Sorry Sirius, she’s not here" Harry replied "We were just waiting for her"

"That would be just my luck" Sirius sighed as he plopped down on Cat’s bed. "Don’t suppose she’s coming back any time soon huh?" Sirius looked at Harry and Remus as they shrugged their shoulders. "Figures..."

"So what are you doing here Sirius?" Harry asked grinning "Trying to make up for the other day?"

"The though had crossed my mind, thank you very much Mr. Potter." Sirius said as he smiled happily "I still can’t believe I fell asleep, why didn’t you wake me Harry?"

"I told you before, she wouldn’t let me.." Harry reminded him, then added "besides you should have seen the look in her eyes, I honestly think I saw her heart melting right in front of me...

Sirius smiled happily as his eyes regain their old sparkle. Reaching over he gave Harry a huge, huge hug and tussled his hair "next time.. Wake me up...." he said as he winked at Harry "things tend to move a little faster that way" he finished as he flashed his trademark lop-sided grin.

"I have a feeling if you smile at her like that, *none* of us will have to worry" Harry smiled back as he looked at Sirius and Remus. It was nice to see them smiling, he always enjoyed watching them together, they were like brothers. Terribly misbehaved and mischievous, but still brothers. "So, are you going to answer my question Mr. Black? Are you trying to make up for falling asleep on her?"

Sirius rolled his eyes as he jerked his head towards his godson "Do you believe him? He is *almost* as bad as you are. Tsk, tsk, tsk, Someone is being a very bad influence on young Harry." He said as Remus shook his head and laughed. Becoming serious Sirius turned to Harry "Actually I was hoping to talk to her and you before I left..."

"Left... what do you mean?!" Harry practically yelled "Why are you leaving, not the dementors.."

"Calm down Harry." Sirius said softly as he placed his hands on Harry’s shoulders "Professor Dumbledore has asked me to do something for him. I will only be gone a few days." he assured Harry "Think you can manage to stay out of trouble while I’m away?"

"Gee, I’ll do my best" Harry replied sarcastically "but being a son of a marauder it might be a bit much to ask." Harry started laughing as soon as he saw the look of shock on Sirius’s face.

"Moony... you *have* been a bad influence on him!" Sirius said as he tried not to laugh out loud.

"Oh no you don’t Padfoot. Don’t you dare go blaming me for this, he’s your godson, you talk to him." Remus replied as he winked at Harry. "While you’re at it talk to his mother as well, its not good for a boy to be without a father you know."

"Couldn’t agree with you more Moony" Sirius shot back, looking slightly embarrassed by the knowing looks being passed between Remus and Harry. "So Harry, are you going to watch over Cat for me while I’m gone?"..............

Padfoot could hardly keep the smile off of his face <Can’t imagine what this looks like, a dog smiling> he thought as he ran towards Dumbledore’s office. The only thing that could have made today more perfect would have been Cat showing up. Remus had been a bit concerned about the sudden change of plans, but he had assured his old friend that it would only be two or three days at most. The fact that he would be travelling with one of Cash’s vampyres hadn’t hurt either. Sirius skidded to a halt as he reached the gargoyle statue and transformed. *gummi wands* he spoke as the statue moved aside and left him through the downstairs door. Running up the stairs two at a time, Sirius practically exploded into Dumbledore’s office, only to be surprised at who is waiting for him........