Would you rather, on a first date, wear a T-shirt that says "I'm with stupid"
-or-
a T-shirt that says "Who cut the cheese"?

Would you rather have a fly fisher catch you solidly in the eyeball with his/her hook
-or-
have someone jam an ice pick in your nose?

Would you rather, if attacked in your house by a burglar, defend yourself with a base ball bat
-or-
Or an unloaded gun?

Would you rather have a slurpee headache for 12 hours strait
-or-
diarrhea for 12 hours strait?

Would you rather have your spouse be disappointed in you
-or-
have your child disappointed in you

Would you rather have a little man that lives in your mouth and incessantly hammers on your teeth with a pick
-or-
coexist with a small bird that lives on your nose and yanks out your nose hairs at its descretion?

Would you rather be seasick for three hours strait
-or-
be drunk and spinning for 4 hours strait?

Would you rather always almost have to sneeze
-or-
hit your funny bone every 15 minutes

Would you rather be on vacation with your 60-year-old parents and have your mom insist on wearing a thong bikini
-or-
have your dad insist on wearing a euro-style bikini bathing suit?

Would you rather run (no walking) a marathon in wooden shoes
-or-
bike two hundred miles with no seat, just the post sticking up?

Would you rather bite the curb and get kicked in the back of the head
-or-
get a papercut on your eyeball?

Would you rather, in your teenager's room, find a vial of cocaine
-or-
a gun?

Would you rather be forced to watch The Sound Of Music for 48 hours strait
-or-
drive cross-country with Barry Manilow singing on the radio the whole time?

Would you rather be standed for two years on an island with 20 friends of your choise
-or-
with a group of twenty famous people of your choosing?

Would you rather, as a man, have your testicles eaten off by a squirrel
-or-
your eyeballs pecked out by a bird?

Would you rather have brown teeth
-or-
a hairline jsut one-inch above your eyebrows?

Would you rather live in a world without grass
-or-
roads?

Would you rather shove your head in an elephants butt
-or-
lick a corpse clean after an autopsy?

Would you rather hvae butt full of worms
-or-
a mouthful of ticks?

Would you rather super glue your eyes shut
-or-
super glue them open?

Would you rather have a perfect body (excluding the face) above the waist
-or-
below the waist?

Would you rather tell someone famous that his/her fly is open
-or-
have someone famous tell you that YOUR fly is open?

Would you rather be percieved as intelligent
-or-
street smart? (but not both)

Would you rather need medical attention because you got a large marble stuck far in yout nose
-or-
because you got your head stuck through the fence of a mansion?

Would you rather age only from the neck up
-or-
age only from the neck down?

Would you rather csll an important client by the wrong name
-or-
blank on your finace's parents names when you introduce them to your parents?

Would you rather contantly be mistaken for the opposite sex
-or-
find out that you were voted "Ugliest Classmate" by your entire school?

Would you rather turn around three times befor you sat down anywhere
-or-
do a little jig before you go through any doorway?

Would you rather, as a man, poop a softball
-or-
pee a marble

Would you rather have a hidden video camera at work (with audio!) catch you hack up a big, ugly ball of phlegm and then looking at it
-or-
passing gas and then making a face reacting to the smell?

Would you rather chew a piece of toenail off a dirty man's foot
-or-
thoroughly lick his unshowered armpit?

Would you rather cut 1/4 acre of grass with your teeth
-or-
lick up a 15-foot by 15-foot rain puddle?

Would you rather eat a cup of uncooked popcorn
-or-
a box of uncooked spaghetti?

Would you rather, as a women, have real, although low hanging, 34-D's
-or-
have uppity obnoxiously fake 34-D's?

Would you rather streak through your office
-or-
be known as the office farter?

Would you rather have frequent spurts of uncontrollable drooling
-or-
be a bed wetter?

Would you rather have heinous breath and good teeth
-or-
gross teeth and regualr breath?

Would you rather talk like you have walnuts in your mouth
-or-
walk like you have a walnut in your butt?

Would you rather have a lisp
-or-
pronounce your R's as W's and W's as R's

Would you rather,as a women, have a really hairy back
-or-
really long, curly, exposed nose hairs?

Would you rather everyday for a year, have to wear either the same pair of unwashed underwear
-or-
the same pair of unwashed socks?

Would you rather be known for being cheap
-or-
for being a cry baby?

Would you rather have a small butt on your forehead
-or-
two little feet dangling from your chin?

Would you rather always pick your nose immediately before shaking hands
-or-
constantly have one hand, including your wrist, down your pants?

Would you rather have no short term memory
-or-
no long term memory?

Would you rather have one long, thick, furry eyebrow across your entire forehead
-or-
an inordinate amount of ear and nose hair that cannot be removed?
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